1
00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:09,550
My words are lazy

2
00:00:09,630 --> 00:00:11,470
My thoughts are hazy

3
00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:14,600
But this is one thing I'm sure of

4
00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:18,220
Everybody needs a best friend

5
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:21,010
I'm happy I'm yours

6
00:00:29,860 --> 00:00:32,490
The other night I was out
at a basketball game

7
00:00:32,570 --> 00:00:34,240
with my whole family.
Right.

8
00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,610
And I only asked this guy in front of me

9
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:38,910
to just sit down a bit so I could see,

10
00:00:38,990 --> 00:00:41,160
and he beat me unmercifully.

11
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:44,750
He beat me very badly and
my hairpiece fell off.

12
00:00:46,210 --> 00:00:47,840
And it was awful, because
when he beat me,

13
00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:49,340
my teeth were also in my hairpiece.

14
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:51,790
Oh, man.

15
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:53,670
The Jerky Boys are like the greatest

16
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:54,750
living comedy geniuses.

17
00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:55,840
I know.

18
00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,000
It's like the telephone was just

19
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:59,890
sitting there for 100 years and
it took these two guys...

20
00:00:59,970 --> 00:01:01,310
To figure out what it was for.

21
00:01:01,390 --> 00:01:03,180
See, yeah, you understand.
You understand.

22
00:01:03,260 --> 00:01:04,600
All right.
I gotta take a leak.

23
00:01:05,770 --> 00:01:06,940
Oh, shit.

24
00:01:07,020 --> 00:01:09,320
Oh, fuck.
Clive, two o'clock.

25
00:01:09,390 --> 00:01:11,100
He follows you in there,
you're a dead man.

26
00:01:11,190 --> 00:01:12,900
This is bad.
I really got to go.

27
00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:14,610
You saw me down that Capri Sun at lunch.

28
00:01:14,690 --> 00:01:15,860
I know.
You were sucking that straw

29
00:01:15,940 --> 00:01:17,400
like it promised you a
modeling contract.

30
00:01:17,490 --> 00:01:18,490
But, Johnny, you got to hold it.

31
00:01:18,570 --> 00:01:19,950
It's not safe to hold your pee.

32
00:01:20,030 --> 00:01:21,030
You got to do it, man.

33
00:01:21,110 --> 00:01:22,320
Just think about baseball.

34
00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:23,410
That's not how it works.

35
00:01:23,490 --> 00:01:25,450
Think about your dad
coming out of the bedroom

36
00:01:25,540 --> 00:01:26,540
naked on a weekend.

37
00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:27,620
What the fuck?

38
00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:29,040
With his hog hanging out of his robe

39
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:31,160
waving like a bat sleeping
through an earthquake.

40
00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:32,580
Shut the fuck up, all right?

41
00:01:32,670 --> 00:01:34,380
Just follow me in there and stand guard.

42
00:01:34,460 --> 00:01:35,550
All right.

43
00:01:49,980 --> 00:01:51,440
All right, go on, get to peeing.

44
00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,520
All right, just watch the door.

45
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:53,600
Okay.

46
00:01:55,860 --> 00:01:56,860
Shit.

47
00:01:56,940 --> 00:01:58,020
Go on, hurry up.

48
00:01:58,110 --> 00:01:59,110
I can't, all right?

49
00:01:59,190 --> 00:02:00,690
There's another guy in
here and I'm pee shy.

50
00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:02,700
Jesus Christ.
Hey, dude, do you mind?

51
00:02:02,780 --> 00:02:03,910
My buddy's self-conscious.

52
00:02:03,990 --> 00:02:05,660
Yeah, I thought he might
be having some trouble

53
00:02:05,740 --> 00:02:07,030
when I didn't hear anything.

54
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,410
I just want you to know,

55
00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,410
you take all the time you need to.

56
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:11,500
I won't judge.

57
00:02:17,750 --> 00:02:19,000
Oh, here we go.

58
00:02:19,710 --> 00:02:20,960
Thank you.

59
00:02:21,050 --> 00:02:23,550
That is all the thanks I need.

60
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:27,680
Wait.

61
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:30,680
Jesus?

62
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:35,280
All right. It's okay.

63
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,860
Everything's gonna be okay.

64
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,320
Oh, shit, he's here.
Wrap it up.

65
00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,650
That's not how it works.

66
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:41,780
Hey, look who's here.

67
00:02:41,860 --> 00:02:42,940
It's Bennett.

68
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,990
And he's got his little
boyfriend with him.

69
00:02:46,330 --> 00:02:48,500
All right, Clive, what
if I am his boyfriend?

70
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:50,370
What if we are having an affair?

71
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:53,240
I can satisfy him in a
way you never could.

72
00:02:55,710 --> 00:02:57,050
Better be careful, Bennett.

73
00:02:57,130 --> 00:02:58,880
You wouldn't want to slip!

74
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,050
Yeah.

75
00:03:00,130 --> 00:03:02,760
Nice going, Bennett.
Pee much?

76
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:06,560
Why don't you go ask your mother's face?

77
00:03:07,470 --> 00:03:09,850
Oh, Jesus, I am so sorry.

78
00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:11,560
That was so over the line.

79
00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:13,520
What the fuck, dude?
That's sick.

80
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,900
It was out of my mouth
before I knew what it was.

81
00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:16,980
Kind of like your mother.

82
00:03:17,060 --> 00:03:18,850
Oh, my God, what is wrong with me?

83
00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:20,110
I am so sorry.

84
00:03:20,190 --> 00:03:21,940
I deserve what's about to happen to me.

85
00:03:22,030 --> 00:03:23,070
Yeah, no shit.

86
00:03:26,030 --> 00:03:27,030
Drink up, asshole.

87
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,580
Oh, shit.
Wait, no, not the toilet.

88
00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:31,330
I'm not supposed to get wet.
It said so on my tag!

89
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:37,960
Teddy.

90
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:40,960
Teddy?

91
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,130
Well, the joke's on us, Johnny.

92
00:03:43,220 --> 00:03:44,260
Pipes don't go anywhere.

93
00:03:44,340 --> 00:03:46,930
The kids are just flushing
them back and forth all day.

94
00:03:48,220 --> 00:03:49,470
Yuck.

95
00:03:49,550 --> 00:03:52,100
If you have a problem, if
no one else can help,

96
00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:55,390
and if you can find them, maybe
you can hire the A-Team.

97
00:04:02,820 --> 00:04:04,780
I've seen this episode
before. It's a good one.

98
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,400
How can you watch that shit?

99
00:04:06,490 --> 00:04:08,910
It's just car chases
and blowing stuff up.

100
00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:11,660
Why did you just say two good things
as if they're two bad things?

101
00:04:11,740 --> 00:04:14,200
Give us a break, Blaire.
Jesus. We had a hard day.

102
00:04:14,290 --> 00:04:16,000
And this show is very educational.

103
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,420
We're learning about the
struggles of Vietnam veterans

104
00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:20,960
and how to turn a wood
chipper into a cannon

105
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,040
that shoots cabbages.

106
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:26,710
Matty, Dr. Frankel called
when you were at work today.

107
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,390
He says you're overdue
for a colonoscopy.

108
00:04:29,470 --> 00:04:31,100
Yeah, I'm not getting one of those.

109
00:04:31,180 --> 00:04:33,020
He says it's important.

110
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:34,350
That guy's a quack.

111
00:04:34,430 --> 00:04:36,430
No, he's not.
He's very smart.

112
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,940
Not all Jewish doctors are smart, Susan.

113
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:40,480
That's one of those stereotypes.

114
00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,110
Wow. Even when you're
technically on the right side,

115
00:04:43,190 --> 00:04:44,650
you still find a way to ruin it.

116
00:04:44,740 --> 00:04:45,740
What?

117
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:47,660
I just said they're not all smart.

118
00:04:47,740 --> 00:04:49,530
Some of them Hebrews are
just in it for the money.

119
00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:51,530
That is beyond fucking offensive.

120
00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:54,250
Sorry.
Hebrews and Shebrews.

121
00:04:54,330 --> 00:04:56,170
Honey, it's a routine test.

122
00:04:56,250 --> 00:04:58,170
You're sedated the whole time.

123
00:04:58,250 --> 00:05:00,210
It wasn't so bad when I did it.

124
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:02,420
What?

125
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:04,130
When the hell did you
have a colonoscopy?

126
00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:06,960
Last year when I was
having my tummy troubles.

127
00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:09,260
Where was I?
You drove me.

128
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:10,800
No, I didn't.

129
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,980
Well, I had you drop me off
across the street at the mall.

130
00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:15,600
I didn't want to worry you.

131
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,140
And plus you needed undershirts,

132
00:05:17,230 --> 00:05:19,070
and Jordan Marsh was having a sale.

133
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:21,020
This is hilarious.

134
00:05:21,100 --> 00:05:23,520
You're afraid of a procedure
Aunt Sue's got done

135
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:24,650
without even telling you.

136
00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:26,610
I don't remember picking you up.

137
00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:27,690
I walked home.

138
00:05:27,780 --> 00:05:29,030
She walked home.

139
00:05:29,110 --> 00:05:30,950
It's just a couple of miles.

140
00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:32,360
Couldn't feel my legs anyway,

141
00:05:32,450 --> 00:05:34,790
so it didn't matter if
my pumps got slushy.

142
00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:37,120
Well, Matty, it's your move.

143
00:05:37,910 --> 00:05:39,410
My move is I'm getting a beer.

144
00:05:41,170 --> 00:05:43,340
My results were negative.

145
00:05:43,420 --> 00:05:45,880
Oh, gosh, he seems so worried.

146
00:05:48,050 --> 00:05:50,050
Man, I wish
the A-Team was real.

147
00:05:50,130 --> 00:05:52,510
That way we could hire him to
beat the shit out of Clive.

148
00:05:52,590 --> 00:05:53,670
Who's Clive?

149
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,300
This fucking goon at
school who picks on us.

150
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:58,310
Is that Muriel's son Clive?

151
00:05:58,390 --> 00:06:02,100
I don't know, is Muriel's son a sadistic
steroid bully with a pee fetish?

152
00:06:02,190 --> 00:06:03,940
Oh, that poor boy.

153
00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:06,060
He doesn't have a father, you know.

154
00:06:06,150 --> 00:06:07,150
Huh?

155
00:06:07,230 --> 00:06:08,980
Oh, yeah, he walked out on Muriel

156
00:06:09,070 --> 00:06:11,280
before Clive was even born.

157
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,490
It's probably why he's so unhappy.

158
00:06:13,570 --> 00:06:15,490
It's a classic defense mechanism.

159
00:06:15,580 --> 00:06:17,120
Hurt people hurt people.

160
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:21,160
Wait, wait, wait, are you saying
Clive is a bastard child?

161
00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,380
His mother is so sweet.

162
00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:24,880
Must be hard.

163
00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:28,840
Johnny, we have been
blessed with information

164
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,050
we can weaponize.

165
00:06:30,130 --> 00:06:31,170
What do you mean?

166
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:33,430
What would the Jerky Boys do?

167
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:36,560
All right, found it.

168
00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:40,270
5-5-5-3-8-1 -6.

169
00:06:40,350 --> 00:06:43,480
Oh, we are going to fuck
this guy's head up so bad.

170
00:06:48,780 --> 00:06:49,870
Hello?

171
00:06:49,940 --> 00:06:52,400
Clive, this is your father.

172
00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:54,700
What?
I'm your father.

173
00:06:54,780 --> 00:06:56,990
I abandoned you when you were a baby.

174
00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,670
Sorry about that.
I had a rough day.

175
00:07:00,290 --> 00:07:02,130
Dad, is this really you?

176
00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:03,210
Yes, Clive.

177
00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:06,630
This is so totally fucking your dad.

178
00:07:06,710 --> 00:07:09,880
Dad, I knew you'd call someday.

179
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,710
Mom said you wouldn't,
but I just knew it.

180
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,260
Where are you?

181
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:16,260
I mean, can I meet you?

182
00:07:16,340 --> 00:07:19,300
Holy shit, he wants to meet.
This is fucking classic.

183
00:07:19,390 --> 00:07:21,930
What do I say?
Say yes. Uh...

184
00:07:22,020 --> 00:07:23,860
Tell him to meet you at
Friendly's tomorrow.

185
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:27,360
Yeah, sure, be at Friendly's
tomorrow after school.

186
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,280
And wear a sailor suit.

187
00:07:30,070 --> 00:07:31,610
A sailor suit?

188
00:07:31,690 --> 00:07:33,610
Yeah, I spent some time in the Navy,

189
00:07:33,700 --> 00:07:35,620
so it's sentimental for me, you know.

190
00:07:35,700 --> 00:07:36,740
I fought in the war.

191
00:07:36,820 --> 00:07:38,530
Whoa. Which one?

192
00:07:38,620 --> 00:07:40,580
You got that right, my friend.

193
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,040
I don't like talking about it though,

194
00:07:42,120 --> 00:07:43,330
especially in specifics.

195
00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:45,120
Man, that's so cool.

196
00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:47,500
And I mean a real sailor
suit, all right?

197
00:07:47,580 --> 00:07:49,330
Like the kid on the Cracker Jack box.

198
00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:51,460
But where do I get a sailor suit?

199
00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:52,890
You back talking me?

200
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,500
See, this smart-mouth attitude
is exactly why I left.

201
00:07:55,590 --> 00:07:58,510
Sorry. No, I'm sorry, Dad.
No, I'll do it. I promise.

202
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,890
That's more like it.

203
00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:01,470
Tell him to say "ahoy."

204
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:04,020
Oh, yeah, and say "ahoy" to
people when you get there.

205
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:06,980
Okay.
Dad, I can't wait to meet you.

206
00:08:07,060 --> 00:08:08,810
Yeah, get those hopes sky high, buddy.

207
00:08:08,900 --> 00:08:09,900
I love you...

208
00:08:09,980 --> 00:08:11,570
Oh, my God, that was fucking amazing!

209
00:08:11,650 --> 00:08:12,820
That was great!

210
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:14,230
Well, we got to be there
when he shows up.

211
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,200
Totally. Wait, wait, no, no, we can't.

212
00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,820
He'll see us and he'll kick our asses.

213
00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,240
No, he won't.

214
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:22,580
This was good.
This was a good plan.

215
00:08:22,660 --> 00:08:24,200
Okay, now as far as anyone knows,

216
00:08:24,290 --> 00:08:27,290
we're two ad executives on a
business trip from Hartford

217
00:08:27,370 --> 00:08:29,500
looking for some local talent. Right.

218
00:08:29,580 --> 00:08:31,370
Hey, keep these milkshakes coming, huh?

219
00:08:31,460 --> 00:08:32,460
Sure thing.

220
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:34,130
You know, we're celebrating.

221
00:08:34,210 --> 00:08:36,710
Just landed a big account.
Bounty.

222
00:08:36,800 --> 00:08:38,380
It's a very famous paper towel.

223
00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:40,300
Yep. I use them every day.

224
00:08:40,390 --> 00:08:42,640
Oh, terrific. Well, you know,
originally the slogan

225
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:45,060
was supposed to be the
"quicker picker upper,"

226
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:48,020
but we added the word "thicker
quicker picker upper."

227
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:49,980
Bought a summer house
with that one adjective.

228
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:51,600
Congratulations.
Yeah.

229
00:08:51,690 --> 00:08:55,190
My wife's miles away, even
when we're in the same room.

230
00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,490
You know,

231
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,740
she hasn't let me touch her
since the miscarriage.

232
00:09:02,330 --> 00:09:04,080
I'll be back with your Fribbles.

233
00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:07,130
The fuck was that?

234
00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:09,170
What do you mean? I'm just
rolling with the area.

235
00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:10,750
That was fucking sad, dude.

236
00:09:10,830 --> 00:09:12,540
Oh, forgive me for trying
to add a little gravity

237
00:09:12,630 --> 00:09:14,380
into the backstory, all right?
I mean, why are we traveling?

238
00:09:14,460 --> 00:09:15,710
Gravity?
I want to slit my wrist.

239
00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,090
So you get to be Mr.
Thicker Picker Upper

240
00:09:17,170 --> 00:09:18,590
and I got nothing to
work with over here?

241
00:09:18,680 --> 00:09:20,100
Sorry, did you want sprinkles?

242
00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:22,310
We picked out a name.
The room was painted.

243
00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:23,390
Calm down.

244
00:09:23,470 --> 00:09:24,720
No, no, that's what everyone says.

245
00:09:24,810 --> 00:09:25,810
I get to grieve.

246
00:09:27,390 --> 00:09:29,270
Oh, my God, look.

247
00:09:31,310 --> 00:09:32,520
Ahoy.

248
00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:33,860
Holy shit.

249
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,860
He fucking wore it.

250
00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:38,280
Yeah.
Fix your kerchief.

251
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:41,200
There you go.
Now you're a proper seaman.

252
00:09:41,280 --> 00:09:43,950
All right. You ready?
Yep. I'm going in.

253
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,870
Oh, maybe don't talk to the
waitress while I'm gone.

254
00:09:47,950 --> 00:09:49,120
Just fucking go.

255
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:58,880
Good afternoon, Friendly's.

256
00:09:58,970 --> 00:10:01,810
Yeah, hi. I need you to deliver
a message to one of your customers.

257
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:03,920
Dumb looking guy dressed like an idiot.

258
00:10:04,010 --> 00:10:06,600
Sir, this is Friendly's.
Can you be more specific?

259
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:08,020
The kid in the sailor suit.

260
00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:14,440
This is his dad.
I got a message for him.

261
00:10:17,110 --> 00:10:18,740
I have a message for you from your dad.

262
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:23,950
He says he's not coming because
you're a disappointment to him

263
00:10:24,030 --> 00:10:25,530
and he's glad he left,

264
00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:28,660
and he likes his adopted
Korean kids better.

265
00:10:30,370 --> 00:10:31,500
Sorry.

266
00:11:04,530 --> 00:11:07,620
Man, this is way sadder
than the miscarriage.

267
00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:10,240
His name was going to be Lawrence.

268
00:11:23,170 --> 00:11:25,460
You know, I still feel really
shitty about yesterday.

269
00:11:25,550 --> 00:11:27,050
Yeah, me too.

270
00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:29,480
It's almost like Clive's
an actual human being,

271
00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:30,560
with a heart.

272
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:32,560
Well, you know, I'm sure
it's going to be fine.

273
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:35,730
Hey, did you guys hear?
Clive tried to kill himself.

274
00:11:35,810 --> 00:11:37,020
Holy shit.

275
00:11:37,110 --> 00:11:39,700
He ate an entire bottle
of Flintstones vitamins.

276
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:41,020
Even the Bettys.

277
00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:43,740
Did he... Did he say why he did it?

278
00:11:43,820 --> 00:11:46,110
Who cares?
I never felt more free.

279
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,870
Now I can wear my Ace Of Base shirt

280
00:11:47,950 --> 00:11:49,160
without getting my ass kicked.

281
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:52,490
Shit, Teddy.
What are we going to do?

282
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:53,620
It's out of our hands.

283
00:11:53,710 --> 00:11:55,670
If he wants to wear the shirt,
he's going to wear the shirt.

284
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:57,460
No, no, I mean, this is our fault.

285
00:11:57,540 --> 00:11:59,630
If Clive wasn't an idiot,
he'd be dead right now.

286
00:11:59,710 --> 00:12:01,300
All right.
Okay. You know what?

287
00:12:01,380 --> 00:12:02,460
We can fix this.

288
00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:04,430
Nice shirt, queer.
Oh!

289
00:12:05,470 --> 00:12:08,560
Hmm, nature abhors a vacuum.

290
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,770
Okay, you ready?
Yeah.

291
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:12,230
Hang on.
Hang on one sec.

292
00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:14,310
We got a boy's heart in our hands here.

293
00:12:14,390 --> 00:12:16,100
I want to make sure I
got my wits about me.

294
00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,280
All right, I'm good.
Call him.

295
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,620
Hello?
Hey Clive.

296
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:35,830
It's your dad.

297
00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:38,040
You done barfing up BammBamms?

298
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,580
Leave me alone.

299
00:12:39,670 --> 00:12:41,010
Wait, wait, just hang on.
Hang on.

300
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:42,630
I want to apologize.

301
00:12:42,710 --> 00:12:44,840
I'm sorry about not
showing up yesterday.

302
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,300
Then why did you do it?

303
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:47,800
And why did you leave that message?

304
00:12:48,630 --> 00:12:49,630
It was a test.

305
00:12:49,720 --> 00:12:52,140
It was a test of your manhood.

306
00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:54,680
And you passed with flying colors.

307
00:12:55,180 --> 00:12:58,100
You said you liked your
adopted Korean kids better.

308
00:12:58,190 --> 00:12:59,440
Oh, yeah.

309
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:01,860
Well, you know, I don't
have them anymore.

310
00:13:01,940 --> 00:13:02,940
You don't?

311
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:04,690
No, it seemed like a
cool idea at the time,

312
00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:06,240
but it was costing me a shitload,

313
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:10,410
so I had to release them
back into the wild.

314
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,200
But that's why you are so
important to me, Clive.

315
00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,490
That's why our relationship
is so important.

316
00:13:15,580 --> 00:13:17,670
Well then, can I meet you for real?

317
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:18,750
Yes.

318
00:13:19,210 --> 00:13:20,590
Eventually. Eventually.

319
00:13:20,670 --> 00:13:23,420
But right now, I'm kind
of busy with work.

320
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,210
What do you do?
What do I do?

321
00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:27,050
Ad exec trying to have kids?

322
00:13:27,130 --> 00:13:28,720
Jesus, what the fuck is
it with you with that...

323
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:32,180
I'm a soldier of fortune in
the Los Angeles underground.

324
00:13:32,260 --> 00:13:33,510
Whoa.

325
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,270
Yeah, me and these other crack commandos

326
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:38,310
fight injustice from our van.

327
00:13:38,390 --> 00:13:39,600
That's so cool.

328
00:13:39,690 --> 00:13:41,530
Yeah, if people have a problem

329
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:44,190
and if no one else can help
and if you can find us,

330
00:13:44,270 --> 00:13:47,360
maybe you can hire me and my friends.

331
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,440
That's kind of like our slogan.

332
00:13:49,530 --> 00:13:52,030
Wow. My dad has a van.

333
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:56,000
Yeah, anyway, I'll keep in
touch and do good in school.

334
00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:58,290
I suck at school.

335
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:00,620
I have a math test tomorrow
I'm probably going to fail.

336
00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:01,710
Oh, come on.

337
00:14:01,790 --> 00:14:03,960
I bet you're smarter at
math than you think.

338
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:08,420
Like okay, like, if a bully beats
up 10 kids for their sexuality

339
00:14:08,510 --> 00:14:10,510
and 20% of them are in the choir

340
00:14:10,590 --> 00:14:13,510
so they get extra beatings,
how many go to the hospital?

341
00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:16,680
Um... Two.

342
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:20,970
Guess what, Mr. I Can't?
You just did math.

343
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,900
I'll talk to you later.

344
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:24,480
I think we fixed it.

345
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,690
Yeah, I think so too.

346
00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:26,770
I feel really good right now.

347
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:28,610
I feel so good.
We're good people.

348
00:14:28,690 --> 00:14:30,900
Yeah, if he kills himself
now, it's from other stuff.

349
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:41,210
Why were these burgers just, like,

350
00:14:41,290 --> 00:14:42,620
sitting in a tray of water?

351
00:14:42,710 --> 00:14:43,920
Yeah, I don't know why they do that.

352
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,340
Yeah, every time it's burger day,

353
00:14:45,420 --> 00:14:47,510
there they are, just sitting in water.

354
00:14:47,590 --> 00:14:48,720
I don't know.
It seems normal.

355
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:51,550
Have the guys over, water up
some burgers, watch the game.

356
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:53,220
Hey, you know what's weird?

357
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:54,300
What?

358
00:14:54,390 --> 00:14:56,600
I've been, like, thinking about Clive.

359
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,430
Yeah, me too.
You have?

360
00:14:58,510 --> 00:15:00,640
Yeah, like I've actually been wondering

361
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:02,190
how he did on that test.

362
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:04,480
Me too.
It's fucked up, right?

363
00:15:04,560 --> 00:15:06,190
It's like I actually
give a shit about him.

364
00:15:06,270 --> 00:15:07,360
Johnny, look.

365
00:15:11,190 --> 00:15:13,190
I don't know why he hangs
out with those boys.

366
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,450
They're a bad influence.

367
00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:16,500
I think Coach Johnson...

368
00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:18,660
Holy shit.
I think that's his test.

369
00:15:18,740 --> 00:15:20,990
Wait, don't look, don't
look, don't look now.

370
00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:22,080
What does it say?

371
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,700
I don't know. There's a grade on
the front, but I can't see it.

372
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:25,920
We got to get a closer look.

373
00:15:29,750 --> 00:15:31,090
That sounds really tough.

374
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,840
They know how to make corn
and they don't touch it.

375
00:15:36,890 --> 00:15:38,520
What the fuck do you want, Bennett?

376
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,730
Nothing. Nothing.
You know, I'm just...

377
00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:42,060
I'm just... I'm just walking around.

378
00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:43,350
You know how I be.
Yeah?

379
00:15:45,140 --> 00:15:46,730
Eat a dick, asshole.

380
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:50,320
C+.

381
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:51,650
He passed.

382
00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:52,730
He passed.

383
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:54,610
Oh, my God, I knew he could do it.

384
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:55,870
Great job, buddy.

385
00:15:57,370 --> 00:15:58,660
Our little genius.

386
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:05,290
Matty, you can't
keep putting it off.

387
00:16:05,370 --> 00:16:06,750
Yes, I can.
It's my body.

388
00:16:06,830 --> 00:16:08,080
But the doctor said...

389
00:16:08,170 --> 00:16:09,590
I don't care
what the doctor says.

390
00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:11,170
I don't care what the doctor says.

391
00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:12,460
I'm not doing it.

392
00:16:12,550 --> 00:16:15,550
If you ask me one more time,
I'm going to stay at a motel.

393
00:16:17,140 --> 00:16:19,640
Matty, why are you so
resistant to a colonoscopy?

394
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,260
Oh, Christ, not you too.

395
00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:23,600
Look, I know it's scary to think about

396
00:16:23,680 --> 00:16:25,720
what they might find, but
early detection is...

397
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,310
You think I'm worried about cancer?

398
00:16:27,940 --> 00:16:30,480
You get cancer, you don't
have to pay taxes.

399
00:16:31,070 --> 00:16:32,110
I don't think that's true.

400
00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:33,860
Not if liberals have their way.

401
00:16:33,940 --> 00:16:35,820
All I'm saying is, get your cancer now.

402
00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:39,110
Look, cut the shit and
just tell me the truth.

403
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,830
Why won't you get the colonoscopy?

404
00:16:44,790 --> 00:16:47,920
When they put you under,
you're not in control.

405
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000
All right?

406
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:51,750
You can say some shit and
not even remember it.

407
00:16:52,630 --> 00:16:54,220
I don't want to say stuff.

408
00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:56,720
Jesus. There's things you're not saying?

409
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,680
I just... I don't want anybody
to find out my secrets.

410
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:00,760
What secrets?

411
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:01,850
I got secrets.

412
00:17:01,930 --> 00:17:04,390
Okay, well, what the fuck do you care
what some doctor thinks of them?

413
00:17:04,470 --> 00:17:06,100
Doctors talk.
This is a small town.

414
00:17:06,180 --> 00:17:07,720
I don't want to ruin my reputation.

415
00:17:07,810 --> 00:17:09,900
You're banned from Dunkin' Donuts.

416
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,650
Listen to me.
You got to do this. Okay?

417
00:17:12,730 --> 00:17:14,610
You catch colon cancer
too late, you're dead.

418
00:17:14,690 --> 00:17:16,280
You'd be leaving John
and Suze on their own.

419
00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,360
You really want to do that?

420
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,830
All right.
I'll go in there.

421
00:17:22,910 --> 00:17:23,990
Great.

422
00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,330
But you got to go with me.

423
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,840
To your colonoscopy?
Yeah.

424
00:17:27,910 --> 00:17:28,910
Why?

425
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,210
Because when they drug me up,

426
00:17:30,290 --> 00:17:32,290
if I start saying
anything about Vietnam,

427
00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:33,670
you got to make a lot of noise.

428
00:17:33,750 --> 00:17:35,130
Why?
What happened in Viet...

429
00:17:35,210 --> 00:17:38,250
La, la, la, la, la, la, la!
Like that.

430
00:17:38,340 --> 00:17:39,340
You got it?
Mmm-mmm.

431
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:40,640
No, you don't.
Let's practice.

432
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:42,680
It's me.
Here's the doctor.

433
00:17:43,390 --> 00:17:46,140
Hey Doc, this one time in Vietnam...

434
00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:48,230
Right, that's you.

435
00:17:48,310 --> 00:17:49,810
La, la, la, la.

436
00:17:49,890 --> 00:17:51,310
No, you got to be louder and faster.

437
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,950
Come on. Again.
One time in Vietnam, Doc...

438
00:17:54,020 --> 00:17:55,520
La, la, la, la, la.
Keep going.

439
00:17:55,610 --> 00:17:56,650
One time in Vietnam.

440
00:17:56,730 --> 00:17:57,730
Louder.
La, la, la, la.

441
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:59,570
One time in Vietnam.
Keep going.

442
00:17:59,650 --> 00:18:01,030
Keep going.
I'm fucking trying.

443
00:18:01,110 --> 00:18:02,200
There was this one time in Vietnam.

444
00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:03,450
Keep going.
La, la, la, la, la.

445
00:18:03,530 --> 00:18:04,860
I'm about to spill my secrets!

446
00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:07,160
What is going on in here?

447
00:18:08,450 --> 00:18:09,830
I'll get the colonoscopy.

448
00:18:10,370 --> 00:18:11,370
You will?

449
00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,040
Oh, thank God.

450
00:18:15,460 --> 00:18:18,590
Oh, I feel like it's Christmas.

451
00:18:18,670 --> 00:18:21,380
I just want this family to
know that from here on out,

452
00:18:21,470 --> 00:18:23,510
I'm going for full-on alcoholism.

453
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:32,150
Hey, am I crazy?

454
00:18:32,230 --> 00:18:34,400
I kind of want to call Clive
and tell him he did good.

455
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,900
I know. Me too.

456
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:38,730
I mean, he obviously studied
so hard for that test.

457
00:18:38,820 --> 00:18:40,200
Yeah, he should know his
dad's proud of him.

458
00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,780
Yeah. But, but, but, do we
want to send the message

459
00:18:42,860 --> 00:18:44,110
that all we care about is grades?

460
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:45,910
Well, I mean, he can't live
up to our expectations

461
00:18:45,990 --> 00:18:47,160
if we don't set any.

462
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:49,580
Yeah, but I want him to do
well for him, not for us.

463
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:51,370
Let's just call him.
Okay.

464
00:18:58,170 --> 00:18:59,170
Hello?

465
00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:01,300
Hey Clive. It's your dad.

466
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:03,260
Dad. Hey, guess what?

467
00:19:03,340 --> 00:19:05,050
I totally aced that test.

468
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:06,430
I got a C+.

469
00:19:06,510 --> 00:19:08,260
Well, how about that?

470
00:19:08,350 --> 00:19:09,480
Good for you, champ.

471
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:13,270
That's great. That's not really
ace, but wow, good job.

472
00:19:13,350 --> 00:19:14,940
Hey, I know you're busy and all,

473
00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,520
but my birthday's coming up on Saturday

474
00:19:17,610 --> 00:19:20,860
and I was wondering if
maybe I could see you.

475
00:19:20,940 --> 00:19:25,240
Ah, yeah, sorry pal, I got a work thing.

476
00:19:25,870 --> 00:19:28,000
I just wish I could meet you just once.

477
00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,370
I know. Me too.

478
00:19:29,450 --> 00:19:30,910
But it's an important mission.

479
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,170
We found a terrorist base
under the roller rink,

480
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:35,210
so we're going undercover
as coke dealers.

481
00:19:35,290 --> 00:19:37,750
And if we find love along
the way, we'll take it.

482
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:39,050
Oh.

483
00:19:39,130 --> 00:19:41,260
But hey, maybe next year, huh?

484
00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:42,800
Yeah, sure.

485
00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:45,010
And great job on that test.

486
00:19:45,090 --> 00:19:46,630
All right, I'll talk to you later.

487
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,350
Bye, Dad.

488
00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:52,730
Man, I feel really bad
letting him down again.

489
00:19:52,810 --> 00:19:54,560
Yeah, we got to make it up to him.

490
00:19:54,640 --> 00:19:55,640
You know what?

491
00:19:55,730 --> 00:19:59,320
His dad needs to send him a
really great birthday gift.

492
00:20:07,570 --> 00:20:08,910
Oh, what about this?

493
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,280
Sega Genesis.

494
00:20:10,370 --> 00:20:12,120
Yeah, I don't know.
Why not?

495
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,160
I'm just worried he's going to spend all day
in his room instead of playing outside.

496
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:16,340
What about a baseball glove?

497
00:20:16,420 --> 00:20:17,710
He doesn't like playing sports.

498
00:20:17,790 --> 00:20:19,170
Well, that doesn't mean we
shouldn't encourage it.

499
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:20,960
Baseball's your dream, not his.

500
00:20:21,050 --> 00:20:23,680
Oh, my fucking God.
Look, it's his 17th birthday.

501
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:24,760
He'll be an adult soon.

502
00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,010
We don't have many of these left.

503
00:20:26,090 --> 00:20:27,840
I just feel like you're
always trying to spoil him.

504
00:20:27,930 --> 00:20:29,140
You know, you can't buy his affections.

505
00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:30,640
I am not trying to buy
his... Yes, you are.

506
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:31,970
You're trying to buy his affections

507
00:20:32,060 --> 00:20:33,600
because you're never at home.
You're too strict with him.

508
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:34,680
You always have been.

509
00:20:34,770 --> 00:20:36,060
Well, somebody has to be the bad cop.

510
00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:37,680
And frankly, I feel like
it's shitty of you

511
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,060
to always dump that on me.
You know what?

512
00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:41,320
None of this shit matters anyway,
because we only got 20 bucks.

513
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:42,570
Oh yeah, you're right.

514
00:20:43,230 --> 00:20:44,610
What are we going to do?

515
00:20:45,190 --> 00:20:46,610
Where's the menswear?

516
00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:48,990
Okay, that's good.
Get ready.

517
00:20:49,070 --> 00:20:51,410
- Okay, now turn right.
- This is so fucking stupid.

518
00:20:51,490 --> 00:20:53,280
Why don't I just wear the coat myself?

519
00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:54,500
Extra height, Johnny.

520
00:20:54,580 --> 00:20:57,080
When you're tall, people
assume you're in charge.

521
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,450
Hey, why don't you go ahead and
take the rest of the day off?

522
00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:02,290
Wow, thank you, tall supervisor.

523
00:21:02,380 --> 00:21:04,220
See?
Okay, which way am I going?

524
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,140
All right, straight for a bit
then you're going to turn.

525
00:21:06,220 --> 00:21:08,060
Talk louder. Your feet
are blocking my ears.

526
00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:09,380
Hard left, hard left, hard left!

527
00:21:09,470 --> 00:21:11,060
Jesus!
What the fuck was that?

528
00:21:11,140 --> 00:21:12,140
Go straight.
Just go straight.

529
00:21:12,220 --> 00:21:13,560
Well, fucking tell me
when I'm going to bump

530
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,180
into something... Fucking A!
Watch out!

531
00:21:15,270 --> 00:21:17,190
C'mon, you got to warn me.
Okay, it's good. It's good.

532
00:21:17,270 --> 00:21:18,650
We're good for a minute.
My head hurts.

533
00:21:18,730 --> 00:21:19,980
Oh, this is going to be a problem.

534
00:21:20,060 --> 00:21:21,060
Fuck, shit.
The fuck is that?

535
00:21:21,150 --> 00:21:22,990
Don't go that way.
Can I turn around?

536
00:21:23,070 --> 00:21:24,780
Oh shit.

537
00:21:24,860 --> 00:21:26,240
Sideways.
Which sideways?

538
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,110
Go sideways.

539
00:21:31,740 --> 00:21:34,160
Excellent work.
You can take your lunch now.

540
00:21:39,290 --> 00:21:40,960
Look, we weren't even
stealing it for us.

541
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,290
Okay? We were stealing it for a
kid who doesn't have a dad.

542
00:21:43,380 --> 00:21:45,130
And that's not even really
shoplifting, right?

543
00:21:45,210 --> 00:21:46,460
Nice try.

544
00:21:46,550 --> 00:21:47,970
You boys are in big time trouble.

545
00:21:48,050 --> 00:21:49,640
I'm going to need your
parents' phone numbers.

546
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,140
My parents are out of town.

547
00:21:51,220 --> 00:21:52,600
I don't have parents on account of

548
00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:54,140
I'm a Teddy bear that came alive.

549
00:21:54,220 --> 00:21:56,510
All right, look, it's
really important to us

550
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,640
that we help this kid, okay?

551
00:21:58,730 --> 00:22:01,690
Haven't you ever had something that was
just really, really important to you,

552
00:22:01,770 --> 00:22:03,560
something that you'd do
anything to make happen?

553
00:22:03,650 --> 00:22:06,400
Like maybe you wanted to be the
best security guard in Boston.

554
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:07,520
No.

555
00:22:07,610 --> 00:22:09,860
No, I never wanted to
be a security guard.

556
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:12,160
I really wanted to be an actor.

557
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,490
Oh, wow.

558
00:22:13,570 --> 00:22:15,860
Oh, this just got so much worse.

559
00:22:15,950 --> 00:22:17,830
Acting is my real passion.

560
00:22:18,540 --> 00:22:20,080
When I was in my 20s,

561
00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,080
I did this community theater
production on Pippin.

562
00:22:23,170 --> 00:22:25,670
And when the show ended, I found out

563
00:22:25,750 --> 00:22:29,050
that John Rubinstein
was in the audience.

564
00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,550
Oh, my God.
Oh, wow.

565
00:22:30,630 --> 00:22:32,590
Who was, of course, the original Pippin.

566
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:33,680
I was about to say.
That's the guy.

567
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:34,760
That's the guy.

568
00:22:34,850 --> 00:22:35,850
Fucking God damn right he was.

569
00:22:35,930 --> 00:22:38,520
And he actually came
backstage after the show

570
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:41,270
and he walked up to me and
I can still see his face

571
00:22:41,350 --> 00:22:43,640
and he said, "I really enjoyed the show.

572
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:45,190
"You were all wonderful."

573
00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:47,860
I was like, oh, my God, what a moment.

574
00:22:47,940 --> 00:22:49,980
Amazing. I mean, it's amazing
just even hearing it.

575
00:22:50,070 --> 00:22:51,820
I wasn't there, but just
hearing you talk about it.

576
00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:52,940
Yeah, it was him in the flesh.

577
00:22:53,030 --> 00:22:54,780
And to have the kindness to say,

578
00:22:54,870 --> 00:22:56,710
because obviously I was Pippin.

579
00:22:56,780 --> 00:22:58,030
Of course. Yeah.

580
00:22:58,120 --> 00:22:59,790
Yeah, I mean you, Bert,

581
00:22:59,870 --> 00:23:02,000
are not going to do Pippin
if you're not Pippin.

582
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:04,790
To have the kindness to say,
you are all wonderful.

583
00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:07,090
Because you see, the rest of the
cast was right there with me.

584
00:23:07,170 --> 00:23:08,590
So he couldn't really single me out

585
00:23:08,670 --> 00:23:10,420
because that would have
been dismissive to them.

586
00:23:10,510 --> 00:23:12,550
Oh, yeah. You can't do
that. Sure, sure, sure.

587
00:23:12,630 --> 00:23:13,710
But he gave me a look.

588
00:23:14,090 --> 00:23:16,550
John Rubinstein gave me a
look and that look said,

589
00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:19,350
you are on the stairway to stardom.

590
00:23:19,430 --> 00:23:20,720
Oh, good Christ.

591
00:23:20,810 --> 00:23:22,310
Wow, wow.
That's what I said too.

592
00:23:23,230 --> 00:23:26,020
Well, I guess life had
other plans for me.

593
00:23:26,110 --> 00:23:27,190
But that's okay.

594
00:23:30,900 --> 00:23:32,940
Everything has its season

595
00:23:33,030 --> 00:23:35,450
Everything has its time

596
00:23:35,530 --> 00:23:36,990
Show me a reason

597
00:23:37,070 --> 00:23:39,360
And I'll soon show you a rhyme

598
00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:42,450
Cats fit on the windowsill

599
00:23:42,540 --> 00:23:45,000
Children fit in the snow

600
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:47,670
So why do I feel like I don't fit in

601
00:23:47,750 --> 00:23:51,170
Anywhere I go...

602
00:23:51,260 --> 00:23:53,390
Oh, sorry.

603
00:23:53,470 --> 00:23:54,640
Wow.

604
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:57,390
Wow, that felt fucking great. Right?

605
00:23:57,470 --> 00:23:58,930
Wow. Wow.
Yeah.

606
00:23:59,010 --> 00:24:00,600
Was that a moment just then we had?

607
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:02,140
Wait, that was a moment?
That was a real...

608
00:24:02,220 --> 00:24:03,810
I think it was.
I couldn't even hear you.

609
00:24:03,890 --> 00:24:05,890
Someone was playing the original

610
00:24:05,980 --> 00:24:07,480
cast recording of Pippin.

611
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:09,940
It's like a rope connected us
that only we saw the rope.

612
00:24:10,020 --> 00:24:11,650
All three of us.
All three of us.

613
00:24:11,730 --> 00:24:12,860
We are one.
Tighter and tighter...

614
00:24:12,940 --> 00:24:14,530
We were one organism in that moment.

615
00:24:14,610 --> 00:24:15,940
My feet are tingling.
Wow.

616
00:24:16,030 --> 00:24:18,990
A thousand wows and more
wows on top of that.

617
00:24:19,070 --> 00:24:21,490
I feel like this was time well spent.

618
00:24:21,580 --> 00:24:22,870
Yeah, we got a lot accomplished.

619
00:24:22,950 --> 00:24:24,080
Was it not?
Yeah.

620
00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:25,410
You guys... You guys can go ahead.

621
00:24:25,500 --> 00:24:26,840
We're good to go, right?
Absolutely.

622
00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:27,920
Thank you. Thank you, man.

623
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,040
Really appreciate it.
This was wonderful.

624
00:24:29,130 --> 00:24:30,130
Yeah.

625
00:24:30,210 --> 00:24:31,380
We're all going to go our separate ways,

626
00:24:31,460 --> 00:24:32,460
but we'll take a piece of today with us.

627
00:24:32,550 --> 00:24:33,760
Thanks for letting me sing.

628
00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:35,970
Jesus, that was a fucking nightmare.

629
00:24:36,050 --> 00:24:37,090
You are telling me, Johnny.

630
00:24:37,180 --> 00:24:38,600
This has got to stop.

631
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:40,430
I know.
It's gotten out of control.

632
00:24:40,510 --> 00:24:42,220
I mean, I care about
what happens to Clive,

633
00:24:42,310 --> 00:24:43,690
but we're acting like fucking lunatics.

634
00:24:43,770 --> 00:24:46,360
Raising Clive is not our responsibility.

635
00:24:46,430 --> 00:24:47,970
We got to tell him the truth.

636
00:24:49,810 --> 00:24:52,100
Everything has its season

637
00:24:52,190 --> 00:24:54,530
Everything has its time

638
00:24:54,610 --> 00:24:59,160
We've got a very big sale on aisle nine

639
00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:00,240
It might be time to go.

640
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,610
Yeah.
Cats fit on the windowsill

641
00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:03,490
Children fit in the snow...

642
00:25:11,420 --> 00:25:13,800
I don't like this.
This was a bad idea.

643
00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:15,920
Will you fucking relax?
It's going to be fine.

644
00:25:16,010 --> 00:25:18,470
You hear the word Vietnam,
you yell like the place

645
00:25:18,550 --> 00:25:20,180
is burning down.
Do you understand me?

646
00:25:20,260 --> 00:25:22,100
Yes. Jesus Christ.
Calm down.

647
00:25:22,180 --> 00:25:25,220
Good morning, Mr. Bennett. We are
all set to begin your procedure.

648
00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:27,020
Yeah, listen, this is my niece.

649
00:25:27,100 --> 00:25:29,560
She's going to be with
me in the room there.

650
00:25:29,650 --> 00:25:31,820
Oh, I'm afraid that's not allowed.

651
00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:33,900
What do you fucking mean?

652
00:25:33,980 --> 00:25:35,610
It's against hospital policy.

653
00:25:35,690 --> 00:25:37,190
No, no, no, no.
No, wait a minute.

654
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:38,950
Wait a minute.
You don't understand.

655
00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:42,500
She's always with me for
every colonoscopy, right?

656
00:25:43,410 --> 00:25:44,540
Yes.

657
00:25:44,620 --> 00:25:49,670
I love watching and it's
my half birthday today,

658
00:25:49,750 --> 00:25:51,880
so treating myself.

659
00:25:52,670 --> 00:25:56,090
Well, that's interesting, but
it's medical staff only.

660
00:25:56,170 --> 00:25:57,170
I really am sorry.

661
00:25:57,260 --> 00:25:58,680
Give us a minute, okay?

662
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,600
Get under the gurney.
What?

663
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,930
Hide under the gurney.
I am not doing that.

664
00:26:05,010 --> 00:26:07,010
Blaire, you got to be in
the room in case I talk.

665
00:26:07,100 --> 00:26:08,440
Matty, these people don't care about

666
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:10,270
your stupid goddamn secret, okay?

667
00:26:10,350 --> 00:26:11,890
They're professionals.
They've heard everything.

668
00:26:11,980 --> 00:26:13,190
I don't trust them.

669
00:26:13,270 --> 00:26:14,770
You don't become a butt
doctor unless you're into

670
00:26:14,860 --> 00:26:16,190
some really weird shit.

671
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:18,740
Some of these guys,
it's sexual for them.

672
00:26:18,820 --> 00:26:20,450
This is not sexual for them.

673
00:26:20,530 --> 00:26:21,700
I'll give you $300.

674
00:26:22,740 --> 00:26:23,740
Seriously?

675
00:26:23,820 --> 00:26:24,820
You're always whining about

676
00:26:24,910 --> 00:26:25,950
how expensive your textbooks are.

677
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:27,040
300 bucks.

678
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,460
You have lost your fucking mind.

679
00:26:36,130 --> 00:26:38,340
Dr. Fisher to OR prep room three.

680
00:26:38,420 --> 00:26:40,590
Dr. Fisher, OR prep room three.

681
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:55,820
All right, Mr. Bennett,

682
00:26:55,900 --> 00:26:58,070
I need you to count backward from 100.

683
00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:01,740
100, 99, 98...

684
00:27:02,570 --> 00:27:03,950
All right, he's out.

685
00:27:04,030 --> 00:27:06,580
Okay.
Wow. What a weirdo.

686
00:27:06,660 --> 00:27:08,620
Guy wanted his niece to
come in here with him.

687
00:27:08,700 --> 00:27:10,580
Oh, I heard that. That's bizarre.

688
00:27:10,660 --> 00:27:11,660
Absolutely.

689
00:27:11,750 --> 00:27:13,710
Let's see what he's working with here.

690
00:27:16,000 --> 00:27:18,040
Oh, my God.
Damn, look at that!

691
00:27:18,130 --> 00:27:20,010
Hair on the tip.
That's a new one.

692
00:27:20,090 --> 00:27:22,090
Yuck.
His poor wife, huh?

693
00:27:22,170 --> 00:27:24,090
I was just thinking that.

694
00:27:24,180 --> 00:27:27,770
Guys, I got to be honest.
This is sexual for me.

695
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,230
Look, we just got to tell him the truth.

696
00:27:34,310 --> 00:27:35,850
You know he's going to kick our asses.

697
00:27:35,940 --> 00:27:37,940
Look, the key to not
getting hurt in a fight

698
00:27:38,020 --> 00:27:40,860
is staying loose, like a
drunk guy in an accident.

699
00:27:40,940 --> 00:27:42,730
That's why the Kennedys are always fine

700
00:27:42,820 --> 00:27:44,240
after they fuck up their cars.

701
00:27:45,950 --> 00:27:49,370
Oh, hey, Clive, can we... Can
we talk to you for a second?

702
00:27:49,450 --> 00:27:51,120
What do you two fucknuts want?

703
00:27:51,700 --> 00:27:54,450
Look, there's no easy way to say this,

704
00:27:54,540 --> 00:27:57,330
but, um, it's about your dad.

705
00:27:57,750 --> 00:27:58,920
What about my dad?

706
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:01,960
Um, your dad, uh,

707
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:06,510
invited us to your birthday party.

708
00:28:06,590 --> 00:28:08,300
And he said he's going to be there too

709
00:28:08,390 --> 00:28:10,020
and we just wanted to say

710
00:28:10,100 --> 00:28:11,430
we are so excited just to be part of it.

711
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,060
What are you talking about?

712
00:28:13,140 --> 00:28:14,270
I'm not having a party.

713
00:28:14,350 --> 00:28:15,730
He said he wasn't going to be around.

714
00:28:15,810 --> 00:28:18,690
That's because it's a surprise.

715
00:28:18,770 --> 00:28:20,310
Yeah.
Oh, no, I spoiled it!

716
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:21,530
Oh, Teddy, oh!

717
00:28:21,610 --> 00:28:22,700
We weren't supposed to say anything.

718
00:28:22,780 --> 00:28:24,280
Fuck.
I knew it.

719
00:28:24,360 --> 00:28:25,610
I knew he'd show up.

720
00:28:25,700 --> 00:28:27,490
Oh, it's probably going to be huge

721
00:28:27,570 --> 00:28:28,950
if even you two losers are invited.

722
00:28:29,490 --> 00:28:30,490
Hell yeah.

723
00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:34,500
What the fuck is wrong with you?

724
00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:36,170
I know, but did you see
the look in his eye?

725
00:28:36,250 --> 00:28:37,670
He's like fucking Charles Manson.

726
00:28:37,750 --> 00:28:39,340
What the fuck are we supposed to do now?

727
00:28:39,420 --> 00:28:40,710
He thinks his dad's showing up.

728
00:28:40,790 --> 00:28:42,380
I don't know. We find
somebody to be his dad.

729
00:28:42,460 --> 00:28:43,460
Well, fucking who?

730
00:28:43,550 --> 00:28:45,180
I don't know. We find
an actor or something.

731
00:28:46,090 --> 00:28:47,720
Ah, shit.

732
00:28:51,640 --> 00:28:54,100
All right, we got balloons, a cake.

733
00:28:55,020 --> 00:28:56,400
Do you think he's too old for a piñata?

734
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,030
Yeah, I don't think we want to
put a bat in his hands, Johnny.

735
00:28:59,100 --> 00:29:00,480
Oh, yeah, good call.

736
00:29:01,730 --> 00:29:03,690
Oh. How did it go?

737
00:29:03,780 --> 00:29:05,660
It was a living nightmare.

738
00:29:05,740 --> 00:29:07,070
Matty, how you feeling?

739
00:29:07,150 --> 00:29:08,610
Doc says I'm clean as a whistle.

740
00:29:08,700 --> 00:29:09,700
Nothing to worry about.

741
00:29:09,780 --> 00:29:11,160
That's not all the doctor said.

742
00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,240
What do you mean?

743
00:29:12,330 --> 00:29:15,420
It was the most disgusting
thing I've ever heard.

744
00:29:15,500 --> 00:29:16,790
Blaire, what happened?

745
00:29:20,670 --> 00:29:22,550
Matty made me go into the
operating room with him, so...

746
00:29:22,630 --> 00:29:23,710
Blaire, what the hell?

747
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:26,010
To shut him up if the drugs made
him say some shit about Vietnam.

748
00:29:26,090 --> 00:29:27,380
You're not getting those 300 bucks!

749
00:29:27,470 --> 00:29:29,100
I don't care.
This has to end.

750
00:29:29,180 --> 00:29:31,100
Nothing is worth what I
went through today.

751
00:29:31,180 --> 00:29:32,930
Do you know where they put the
wand when they're done with it?

752
00:29:33,010 --> 00:29:34,010
I do.

753
00:29:34,100 --> 00:29:35,980
What secret?
What is she talking about?

754
00:29:36,060 --> 00:29:37,980
- Forget it, Susan.
- No, Matty, this is insane.

755
00:29:38,060 --> 00:29:39,440
You have to talk about it and move on,

756
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,270
because I am not fucking
doing that again

757
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:42,610
in five years.
Just drop it!

758
00:29:42,690 --> 00:29:43,900
What'd you do?
Desert your platoon?

759
00:29:43,980 --> 00:29:44,980
Go AWOL?

760
00:29:45,070 --> 00:29:46,070
Did you accidentally shoot Bob Hope?

761
00:29:46,150 --> 00:29:47,240
What?
I wish.

762
00:29:47,320 --> 00:29:48,320
I could live with that.

763
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,110
Whatever it is, I'm
sure we'll understand.

764
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:51,700
No, you won't.
This was war.

765
00:29:51,780 --> 00:29:53,280
For Christ's sake, Matty,
we're your family.

766
00:29:53,370 --> 00:29:54,450
Just fucking tell us.

767
00:29:54,530 --> 00:29:56,450
I jacked off a dog!

768
00:30:00,750 --> 00:30:02,250
What the fuck?

769
00:30:02,330 --> 00:30:03,830
Oh, my God.

770
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:05,670
You guys said you'd understand.

771
00:30:05,750 --> 00:30:08,040
That was before we knew
how fucked up it was.

772
00:30:08,130 --> 00:30:09,920
You've never been to war.
Things happen.

773
00:30:10,010 --> 00:30:11,010
Not that. No.

774
00:30:11,090 --> 00:30:13,130
Why the fuck would you jack off a dog?

775
00:30:13,220 --> 00:30:15,310
Whose dog was it?

776
00:30:31,570 --> 00:30:33,660
My platoon was camped in the jungle

777
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:36,780
about two clicks south
of the Do Lung Bridge.

778
00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:40,210
Our dog Scout was with us...

779
00:30:40,290 --> 00:30:42,960
Chewing on some dinner scraps.

780
00:30:45,130 --> 00:30:48,630
My buddy Donny and I were about to start
the night watch when we noticed...

781
00:30:50,050 --> 00:30:51,590
Scout had an erection.

782
00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,260
Well, you were very handsome back then.

783
00:30:55,350 --> 00:30:57,850
Just let me do this, Susan.

784
00:31:00,980 --> 00:31:03,980
We waited for it to go away
on its own, but it didn't.

785
00:31:04,060 --> 00:31:05,810
It was obviously stuck.

786
00:31:05,900 --> 00:31:08,320
Now, that could be dangerous for a dog,

787
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:10,740
especially in the jungle
it gets infected.

788
00:31:10,820 --> 00:31:12,160
He could have died.

789
00:31:12,820 --> 00:31:15,410
We didn't have a medic with
us. I had to do something.

790
00:31:17,950 --> 00:31:21,080
I tried to ease it back in,

791
00:31:22,330 --> 00:31:23,500
but it popped out.

792
00:31:24,290 --> 00:31:25,920
So I tried again.

793
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,000
No good.

794
00:31:28,090 --> 00:31:29,260
Time was running out.

795
00:31:29,340 --> 00:31:31,590
Let me tell you, that
dog had sniffed out

796
00:31:31,670 --> 00:31:33,840
more landmines than I could count.

797
00:31:33,930 --> 00:31:37,020
He had saved all of our lives,
so I had to keep trying.

798
00:31:40,390 --> 00:31:42,060
And that's when it happened.

799
00:31:44,690 --> 00:31:48,440
He made a noise like a
bark, but happier.

800
00:31:52,490 --> 00:31:54,280
Then he went back to his food.

801
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,200
Donny and I didn't make eye
contact for the rest of the war.

802
00:32:10,170 --> 00:32:12,380
For God's sake, somebody say something.

803
00:32:14,380 --> 00:32:17,720
You soldiers gave so much.

804
00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:27,190
I... I think you did the right thing.

805
00:32:28,150 --> 00:32:29,400
Very heroic.

806
00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:32,440
Yeah.

807
00:32:33,610 --> 00:32:35,530
Great job, Dad.

808
00:32:37,740 --> 00:32:40,950
You did it there so we
didn't have to do it here.

809
00:32:43,540 --> 00:32:45,080
Stand down, soldier.

810
00:32:59,680 --> 00:33:03,020
All right, testing,
testing, one, two, three.

811
00:33:03,100 --> 00:33:04,730
Yeah, I can hear you.
Oh, that's neat.

812
00:33:04,810 --> 00:33:06,020
Yeah, I paid off a techie at school.

813
00:33:06,100 --> 00:33:08,890
Just remember to keep the other one
on so we can hear you and Clive.

814
00:33:08,980 --> 00:33:10,310
Okay, so we're going to be feeding you

815
00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:12,110
what to say as we go
along, and if there's...

816
00:33:12,190 --> 00:33:14,400
Right, right. If you could not
give me specific line readings,

817
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:16,480
that would be great.
What?

818
00:33:16,570 --> 00:33:19,200
Yeah, just, you know, tell me
what you want to communicate

819
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,450
and then I will interpret
it as an actor.

820
00:33:21,530 --> 00:33:24,200
You know, I was going to get
a coffee cart for the set,

821
00:33:24,290 --> 00:33:25,370
but now forget it.

822
00:33:25,450 --> 00:33:26,780
Oh, tell me something.

823
00:33:26,870 --> 00:33:29,000
Where am I coming from?
Huh?

824
00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,540
Like just before I meet
Clive, where was I?

825
00:33:31,630 --> 00:33:33,510
You were right fucking
here talking to us.

826
00:33:33,590 --> 00:33:34,840
No, no, no.
No, not me.

827
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:36,590
The character.
Where was the character?

828
00:33:36,670 --> 00:33:38,340
It'll affect how I play the scene.

829
00:33:38,430 --> 00:33:40,720
He was playing Pippin on Broadway.

830
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,340
No, no.

831
00:33:42,430 --> 00:33:45,390
He was at home, grieving over
his wife's miscarriage.

832
00:33:45,470 --> 00:33:47,180
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, yeah.

833
00:33:47,270 --> 00:33:48,650
Oh, I like that.
You're good.

834
00:33:48,730 --> 00:33:50,110
You should get into the business.

835
00:33:51,400 --> 00:33:52,650
The fuck is wrong with you?

836
00:33:52,730 --> 00:33:55,070
What? We'll get one like this and
then we'll try it your way.

837
00:33:55,150 --> 00:33:56,780
All right?
Jesus fucking Christ.

838
00:33:59,530 --> 00:34:02,280
Yeah, in case anyone
else needs a drink too.

839
00:34:02,370 --> 00:34:04,540
What the hell are you
talking about, Derek?

840
00:34:04,620 --> 00:34:05,700
Clive?

841
00:34:06,910 --> 00:34:07,910
Dad?

842
00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:10,410
Is that you?

843
00:34:10,500 --> 00:34:12,000
It's me, son.

844
00:34:12,080 --> 00:34:13,250
I've returned.

845
00:34:15,790 --> 00:34:19,000
Oh, Dad, I can't believe
it's really you.

846
00:34:19,090 --> 00:34:21,180
Okay, that's good.
Now tell him you can't stay.

847
00:34:21,260 --> 00:34:23,090
You've got an important
mission back in LA.

848
00:34:23,180 --> 00:34:24,560
There's a sniper trying to take out

849
00:34:24,640 --> 00:34:26,480
the world's top surfers in Malibu.

850
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:28,100
I can't stay long.

851
00:34:28,180 --> 00:34:30,270
My wife and I have suffered
a personal tragedy

852
00:34:30,350 --> 00:34:31,940
and she needs me at home.

853
00:34:32,020 --> 00:34:33,860
See? It plays great.
Shut up.

854
00:34:33,940 --> 00:34:35,320
I have a stepmom?

855
00:34:36,230 --> 00:34:38,110
What's her name?
Catherine.

856
00:34:38,190 --> 00:34:39,900
She's a widowed farm owner
and she's hired me

857
00:34:39,990 --> 00:34:41,950
as a farmhand at her estate.

858
00:34:42,030 --> 00:34:43,370
Is that... Is that Pippin? Is he...

859
00:34:43,450 --> 00:34:44,450
He's doing Pippin.

860
00:34:44,530 --> 00:34:46,240
He's doing Pippin?
He's fucking doing Pippin!

861
00:34:46,330 --> 00:34:47,580
God damn it, no Pippin!

862
00:34:47,660 --> 00:34:50,870
But I thought you were
a soldier of fortune.

863
00:34:51,500 --> 00:34:53,670
You're blowing
this, you motherfucker!

864
00:34:53,750 --> 00:34:58,090
Sitting on the floor
and talking till dawn

865
00:34:58,170 --> 00:35:00,260
Candles and confidences

866
00:35:00,340 --> 00:35:01,840
Clive's going to beat
the shit out of him.

867
00:35:01,930 --> 00:35:05,810
Trading old beliefs and
humming old songs

868
00:35:06,970 --> 00:35:08,010
Clive.

869
00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:09,180
Mom.

870
00:35:09,270 --> 00:35:10,900
Oh, shit.
Oh, my God.

871
00:35:10,980 --> 00:35:12,520
What's going on?
What is all this?

872
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:14,440
Mom, what are you doing here?

873
00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,980
Jeff Driscoll's mother told me you're
having a party out here in the park.

874
00:35:17,060 --> 00:35:18,060
Why didn't you tell me?

875
00:35:18,150 --> 00:35:19,570
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.

876
00:35:19,650 --> 00:35:21,150
Mom, look.

877
00:35:21,740 --> 00:35:22,740
Dad's here.

878
00:35:22,820 --> 00:35:24,410
Abort, abort, get the fuck out of there.

879
00:35:24,490 --> 00:35:25,950
What are you talking about?

880
00:35:26,030 --> 00:35:27,370
That's not your dad.

881
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,290
Say that's not your mother.

882
00:35:29,370 --> 00:35:31,460
I hate giving other actors notes,

883
00:35:31,540 --> 00:35:33,540
but I feel like you've come in so hot,

884
00:35:33,620 --> 00:35:35,420
you're not giving
yourself anywhere to go.

885
00:35:35,500 --> 00:35:36,590
Who the hell are you?

886
00:35:36,670 --> 00:35:38,710
Okay. I can't work like this.

887
00:35:38,790 --> 00:35:41,170
Let me guess, she's the
producer's girlfriend.

888
00:35:41,260 --> 00:35:42,470
Bullshit.
Hang on, Mom, I'll be back.

889
00:35:42,550 --> 00:35:44,050
That was a good note I gave her too.

890
00:35:44,130 --> 00:35:45,340
Hey.
I'm in way over the top.

891
00:35:45,430 --> 00:35:46,430
Hey.

892
00:35:46,510 --> 00:35:48,470
What the fuck is going on here?

893
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,940
Are you not really my dad?
No.

894
00:35:51,020 --> 00:35:53,320
These two guys paid me to come
here and play your father.

895
00:35:53,390 --> 00:35:54,430
But let me tell you something.

896
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,110
This is the most shoddy,
disorganized production

897
00:35:57,190 --> 00:35:58,480
I have ever been a part of.

898
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:01,060
John Rubinstein would
never stand for this,

899
00:36:01,150 --> 00:36:02,400
and neither will I.

900
00:36:05,990 --> 00:36:07,700
Oh, fucking cock fuck.

901
00:36:08,410 --> 00:36:10,250
Is this some kind of fucking joke?

902
00:36:10,330 --> 00:36:11,330
Oh, shit.

903
00:36:11,410 --> 00:36:12,830
Oh God, wait, wait.
Hang on, hang on.

904
00:36:12,910 --> 00:36:14,410
Clive... Clive, just listen. Okay?

905
00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:15,540
You motherfucker!

906
00:36:15,620 --> 00:36:17,460
You think you can fuck
with my head and live?

907
00:36:18,170 --> 00:36:20,460
I am about to beat the face off of you.

908
00:36:20,540 --> 00:36:22,790
You're dead, both of you.
You're fucking dead.

909
00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:24,050
Ah!

910
00:36:24,130 --> 00:36:25,670
Clive, Clive, just wait
one minute, all right?

911
00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,550
Before you kill us, just hear us out.

912
00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,060
Look, I'm sorry we lied and
said we were your dad.

913
00:36:30,140 --> 00:36:31,560
But think about it.

914
00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:33,390
What is a dad?

915
00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:35,190
It's someone who believes in you,

916
00:36:35,270 --> 00:36:37,310
someone who roots for
you to do your best,

917
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:40,150
and who's proud of you when
you work hard and you win.

918
00:36:40,730 --> 00:36:41,730
We did that.

919
00:36:41,820 --> 00:36:42,860
What do you mean?

920
00:36:42,940 --> 00:36:45,940
We told you you could pass that
math test and you did it.

921
00:36:46,030 --> 00:36:47,490
Didn't that feel good?

922
00:36:47,570 --> 00:36:50,530
And when you got that B minus,
I mean, what an improvement.

923
00:36:50,620 --> 00:36:52,290
We were there pulling for you.

924
00:36:52,370 --> 00:36:54,960
We were encouraging you to
reach your full potential.

925
00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:56,370
We did all that.

926
00:36:56,460 --> 00:36:57,960
And didn't it feel good?

927
00:36:58,040 --> 00:36:59,460
Didn't you feel good about yourself?

928
00:37:00,420 --> 00:37:03,130
Yeah, I... I did.

929
00:37:03,210 --> 00:37:04,920
You've really turned things around.

930
00:37:05,010 --> 00:37:07,300
Your grades are better.
You're smiling more.

931
00:37:07,380 --> 00:37:08,420
I am?

932
00:37:08,510 --> 00:37:10,890
All the guys in woodshop are saying so.

933
00:37:11,930 --> 00:37:14,560
I've been thinking about
taking guitar lessons.

934
00:37:14,640 --> 00:37:15,770
You hear that?

935
00:37:15,850 --> 00:37:17,730
He's thinking about
taking guitar lessons.

936
00:37:17,810 --> 00:37:19,600
Well, that's fantastic.

937
00:37:19,690 --> 00:37:22,070
Hey, we're going to be at every recital.

938
00:37:22,150 --> 00:37:24,030
Really?
Absolutely.

939
00:37:24,110 --> 00:37:25,860
We are not going anywhere.

940
00:37:26,860 --> 00:37:28,110
Bring it in here.

941
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:33,160
We are so fucking proud of you, buddy.

942
00:37:35,500 --> 00:37:36,880
There you go.

943
00:37:36,960 --> 00:37:38,090
Oh, okay, easy there.

944
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:39,160
Easy there, Lenny.

945
00:37:39,250 --> 00:37:40,670
Don't kill the rabbit.

946
00:37:40,750 --> 00:37:41,920
Okay.

947
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,380
Hey, what do you say we have some cake?

948
00:37:44,460 --> 00:37:46,670
Yeah.
And something healthy.

949
00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:48,350
All right, don't undermine
me in front of him.

950
00:37:48,430 --> 00:37:50,430
Come on, let's go.

951
00:37:58,690 --> 00:38:00,650
I think we should try for another.

952
00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:08,570
You know we'll have a good time then

953
00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:19,960
My son turned ten just the other day

954
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,880
He said thanks for the ball, Dad

955
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:23,090
Come on, let's play

956
00:38:23,170 --> 00:38:24,590
Can you teach me to throw

957
00:38:24,670 --> 00:38:26,090
I said, not today

958
00:38:26,170 --> 00:38:27,630
I got a lot to do

959
00:38:27,710 --> 00:38:29,460
He said, that's okay

960
00:38:29,550 --> 00:38:30,800
And he walked away

961
00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:32,260
But his smile never dimmed

962
00:38:32,340 --> 00:38:35,090
And said, I'm going to be like him

963
00:38:35,180 --> 00:38:38,770
Yeah, you know I'm going to be like him

964
00:38:39,850 --> 00:38:43,270
And the cat's in the cradle
and the silver spoon

965
00:38:43,350 --> 00:38:46,520
Little boy blue and the man on the moon

966
00:38:46,610 --> 00:38:47,820
When you coming home, Dad

967
00:38:47,900 --> 00:38:49,440
I don't know when

968
00:38:49,530 --> 00:38:52,200
But we'll get together then

969
00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:55,700
You know we'll have a good time then

970
00:39:03,750 --> 00:39:06,170
Well, he came from college
just the other day