And that's why you should beeeeeeee careful!
I'm Shot.
And I'm Scott, and I'll see you on Monday.
Don't you mean "we'll" see you on Monday?"
I need to tell you something, Shotty.
It's not gonna be easy.
Hey Scott. Producers sent us down to deactivate ShotBot.
Just a minute!
I don't understand, Scott. Did I do something wrong?
Don't you read the user comments? The audience thinks you're weird. They hate you.
Scott, you don't hate me, do you?
Come on. Time's up. Can we get this over with?
Well, Scott, it was fun working with you.
VGGGGGHHHS wins!
Back to you, Scott. I love you.
We'llllll seee you on Monday.
Go Shotty! Run like the wind!
But where do I go?
What do I do?
Find a scoop so hot those dopes upstairs will be forced to keep ya.
By gum, I'll do it! Goodbye, Scott.
Remember! Make it a heartwarmer! A tearjerker! A human story, you beautiful bot.
A human storyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
You're not wearing green.
Merry Leetmus, loser!
What the...?
Games! Games, get back here and clean this up!
Well, "Screw you, Calhoun," the students did say. "We'll just come up with our own holiday.
With the best parts of Christmas, Earth Day, Halloween, Cinco de Mayo, and all in between,
Not on Monday off.
we'll carol 'til sundown and party 'til morn,' and with a chug of sweet noob nog, Leetmus was born."
And that's the story of Leetmus...
Ted!
Just the guy I wanted to see. Merry Leetmus, buddy.
Woah! Thanks!
It's a...
It's a friendship patch. They light up when the get close. See?
Awesome! Dude! Oh, I accidentally ate your present.
Oh, I've got an idea. You are invited to my super sweet egg race.
Oh, thanks, man, but I'm actually pretty busy getting ready for dinner.
It's my present. You have to come.
Come on. You're always so busy with FPS stuff we never get to hang anymore. Please! Please! Please! Please!
All right. All right. All right. What time's the race?
Three.
Dude, dinner's at three.
Yeah, I'm gonna be late for that. Oh, we're still makin' tater salad, though, right?
Yes. All right, I guess we can push dinner to 3:30.
What's at 3:30?
Dinner. Brian's coming to our race!
Wait a minute. What about my pie? This is Pie Day pie. If we don't eat it at 3:14, it's ruined.
Bring it to the race! It'll be victory pie.
No, it's Pie Day pie.
3.14!
You know what? Yeah, sure.
Why don't we go ahead and eat dessert before dinner? You know 'cause it's Opposite Day anyway, right?
It isn't. Thanks for not reminding me.
Yeah, so I gotta go put this bird in the oven. I'll see you guys at the race.
Not looking forward to it.
Thanks for nothing.
You're terrible.
Oh, I got one. Hello, Brian, I love you!
You just complimented him.
I know. Oh, wait! I mean, I don't know.
I mean yes. Brian, I hate you. I didn't mean it.
I mean, I did. Brian, don't go away! I mean, don't come back! Brian!
Help me, Ki.
I won't.
Kerry, stop playing baby's first extortion. Name a real price.
Three hundred? You said 200 ten seconds ago!
Kerry, baby, why you gotta play your fourth cousin like that?
Yes, I know that the evidence would exonerate The Law. I'm the one on video framing him.
Yeah, I know I was sloppy. 250? Just bring the drive to the usual place, I'll hand you a sack of coolies.
Oh, yeah, no problem. He's right here. Let me talk to him.
Hello.
No!
God!
My, my, my, looks like someone is getting a lump of coal in their Leetmus turkey this year.
Ok, guys. Here's how this is going to shake out.
Giggles, you're up first. I'm gonna wrap my powerful thighs around your neck and squeeze. Won't be gigglin' then, will ya?
I don't giggle.
I don't giggle, right?
No, guys, just beat him up.
No! No! No!
Aloha human students. I am a female teen from VGHS. Is there a human story here?
It's a girl! She's gonna tell the other girls!
We're not gonna get any kisses?
Ahhh!
Um,
This is... this isn't over.
Greetings. Do you require assistance?
Leave me alone, you stupid girl.
I don't need anything from anybody. I'm The Law. I'm prettier than even you!
Brian, hold up!
20 apples bobbed.
Yeah, in your face, Duchess!
How's the achievement hunt going?
Terrible! Duchess is creaming me, and I lost my dance partner. Apparently, I'm "too intense."
Speaking of which...
Jenny, no. No. No! I gotta get this bird in the...
Brian!
What time's the dance?
Two o'clock. Wear black and satin spats.
Fix your hair.
Pick up the phone much?
Jeez.
Look, Calhoun, it's my day off, alright?
Spare me your sob story.
I've got your Leetmus bonus.
I get a bonus?
Yeah, bonus hours, which you work now. Mandatory,
so get your ass to the noob nog booth.
You know, Calhoun, I've been reading up on some child labor laws, I don't think that...
Do I smell an unauthorized turkey being cooked on school grounds?
Grinch.
Freeloader.
You're a girl. You're not supposed to be in here.
That's too bad. I like being here with you!
Golly, you're shaking. Allow me.
Woah, heat functionality.
Killer ShotBot costume. Are you gonna enter this in the Halloween costume contest, er...?
No. Tell me about what went down in that alleyway.
Oh, it's quite a story all right.
It's a story of an FPS wunderkind framed for a crime he didn't commit by a sniveling RTS carpetbagger.
It's a story of a school that turned their backs on me when the chips were down.
And once I get my hand on that evidence, it's going to be the story of my redemption.
Redemption, eh? That sounds like a story that the real ShotBot would be interested in.
Need a partner?
Partner? Fat chance, doll face. The Law rides alone.
I see. That sounds very lonely.
Why do you wanna help me anyway?
Because you're not the only one looking for a second chance.
Name's Law.
Barbara. Rebecca Barbara.
Well, Rebecca Barbara, let's go clear my name.
Put Shane behind bars.
Maybe make out and touch a bunch afterwards. Who knows? Let's see where the wind blows.
The wind is currently blowing south by southwest at a speed of 1.2 knots.
Amazing. Let's go!
Strong girl.
And we're back, resident hearthrob, Games Dean, here live at the noob nog booth. Eh! Get back to work, Brian.
Sorry, guys. Extra whip on me. Whew!
Hey, Games, I gotta pee. Can you cover me?
You got five minutes until commercial break.
Awesome, man. Thanks. I'll be right back. I promise.
You are out of your minds if you think I'm gonna scoop that.
According to those nerds that I just pumped for info, Shane will be meeting his cousin at about four o'clock.
What you got?
Well, according to this interview, Shane enjoys chillaxing with a cucumber scrub by his usual place the drinking fountain.
Perhaps this is the usual place he spoke of on the phone.
Great work, babe.
All right, here's the plan. I'm gonna blast 400 reps on this thing, and then I'm gonna go meet Shane and squeeze him up.
That will not work. You are flabby and sad. Shane will beat you up.
Flabby and sad? I'll show you.
You know what? I knew having a partner was a bad idea. Just get lost!
Shane has big muscles and a black belt, but his cousin Kerry has an IT degree and kankles. The Law I know plays it smart beats up on the little guy.
Damn, you do get me.
Hey, Becs, about that whole "get lost" thing, that's water under the bridge, right?
Water is composed of hydrogen and oxygen.
God, you're so smart.
Let's go.
Wow, that was incredible.
I know, right? Hey, can you bring cider tonight?
Yeah.
Yeah, more things in your face, Duchess!
Oh, crap! Dean's gonna kill me!
Games, I'm sorry.
Yeah, thanks for lunch, Brian. I've got an egg race to cover.
Brian! Where have you stayed? The race is not gonna start in a year now.
I'm kinda screwed here, Ki. Can you just tell Ted I'm sorry?
He's gonna be so happy.
I don't have an idea. I won't be right back.
What? All right, extra, extra whip on me, okay?
Easy.
Well, they were out of decaf, so I got ya some green tea.
Has the perp shown up yet?
No.
Well, it looks like you and me are in for a stake out, Beccy-Babs.
So, Law, once you've obtained your freedom, what's your next move?
Well, once that happens, I'll probably become rich and famous again.
Speaking of which, when that happens, don't expect me to like care about you or buy you crap.
I don't need crap. I just want to help.
For real?
Girl, you are weird. I dig weird.
My other school said I was so weird that our ratings plunged and they were going to deactivate me.
So stupid! You're school sounds like my dad, and I hate your school.
Your school doesn't know what he's talking about. Your school should have left mom a long time ago!
You're amazing, Rebecca.
No one's ever left me that comment before. Excuse me. My eyes are malfunctioning.
Yeah, uh, I got somethin' in mine, too. Dust or somethin'.
Look! There he is! It's Kerry!
Go! Go!
Go!
Hey, do you know what station the egg race is on?
Brian!
I stole the finish line. Now, you can still see Ted win.
Please tell me it's still Opposite Day.
Oh, no, it's almost 3:15. He's never gonna make it. Happy Pie Day, Brian.
Ted, eat this in the next ten seconds.
You got it, Kiwi.
It's coming out of your pay.
Sup idiot!
Woah! You got a pretty neck, Kerry. Think I might have to squeeze it if you don't gimme what's on that drive.
Sorry I'm late, Kerry. I just... Law! What are you doing here?
Hey Shane.
Nothin'
What are we gonna do with you?
Don't hurt him, Shane.
Wait, why is ShotBot still here?
It's not ShotBot, you idiot. It's my smokin' hot girlfriend.
Girlfriend?
No, no, no! No, I mean, you know that's ShotBot, right?
I mean, you do. You just have to.
I mean look.
No, no, that's impossible!
No, I don't accept this. I mean, that is so a robot.
You met him... on PwnZwn. Wow. I just... I can't...
you guys? You guys just take him away.
You! You used me for a story. I trusted you!
Law, I can explain.
I don't want to hear it. Guys, let's go.
I hate you ShotBot!
I hate you!
Yeah, Duchess thought she had it in the bag, and then bam!
I turned on the blood elevator, and the spookiest gingerbread house goes to... Jenny Matrix!
Um, I'm guessing you forgot the cider?
If by forgot cider, you mean ruled Leetmus Day like a yuletide goddess, then, yes, I forgot the cider. Sorry about that.
No. No. You know what? It's fine because we don't need cider.
We don't need pie. We don't need... where's Ted?
Right here, dude.
Dude, you're eating a burger? I thought you were going to shower?
I did, but then one thing led to another...
Anyway, let's chow.
Dude, where's the potato salad?
Sorry, dude, no salad, but you know what? At least we're all here together, right?
Yeah, I guess.
You know what, let's just enjoy this perfect turkey.
Merry Leetmas, guys. Come on.
Salt. There's no salt. I forgot the salt.
I'm sure it's fine, Brian.
A low sodium diet is a good thing. Instead of salt we could use...
You know what, Ki, just stop, okay?
There's salt in Brian. Brian has salt. That's just how it works, okay? The end.
Oh, do you want some of my burger?
No, Ted. I don't want any of your burger.
I asked for one thing. To cook you guys dinner. That's it. Is that too much?
But no, instead it's "come to my race, Brian," "dance with me, Brian," "let's have dessert before dinner, Brian."
And I asked for what? What? Cider? Pie? Not to destroy my booth?! Which I have to pay for, by the way.
I can't afford tuition. I can't be seen with my girlfriend.
Brian!
And I don't ask for crap from any of you.
Wait, you two are dating?
Why didn't you tell me?
Wow, Ted, be more needy. Make this more about you. You are the most selfish...
Okay, Brian.
No. No. I'm out of here. Forget it. Enjoy your burger.
Sorry I'm late. I brought yams.
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.
So, is he serious about that?
'Cause I'd be in a lot of trouble.
Everybody! Merry Leetmas! May I have your attention please.
The RTS team is proud to present for your dunking pleasure the one, the only, The Law!
Boo!
That's right. Take on The Law in the one game he can't cheat his way out of.
One good throw is all that stands between this scumbag and two hundred gallons of ice cold water.
So show him how you feel, VGHS!
Yeah!
Was this your master plan, Shane? Get my underpants soggy?
Oh Law. My master plan is real estate Barbados. This is just funny.
Isn't it ironic? Their misplaced hatred of you based on a lie is going to destroy the only evidence of the truth.
It's ironic, right? I don't know. I just kind of throw that word around.
Heyo!
It's Reggie. He's my broker. I just made 100 grand. We're gonna get oysters. Me and Reg, but have fun here.
Down with The Law!
Shotty!
Great news! PwnZwn wants you back. You going undercover as a student went megaviral.
I got my job back? But I failed. I didn't get my human story.
Who cares? You're a hit.
Scott, when those guards were sent to deactivate me, you fought for me. Is that because you care about me?
Yeah, you big green goof! Now, get in!
Wait a sec. I kind of live in here.
I know. I'm cleaning it up, all right?
Yeah, good job.
So pretty epic blow up back there.
Yup.
I'm a jerk. I get it.
Look, kid, first, get up 'cause you're lying in egg nog.
Second, you're not a jerk. Believe me. My kid's a jerk. Like hardcore. You just snapped.
Listen, take tomorrow off. Well, I mean, finish cleaning this up. Consider that even for the yams.
I really scewed up, didn't I?
I don't think I can fix this.
You made a mistake.
You're a good kid. Now, stop q-quing about it and go apologize.
Brian!
I mean, clean this up, Brian! You're being lazy!
Merry Leetmas, Calhoun.
Go to hell, Brian.
Hey guys.
About before, I'm sorry.
It's ok.
No, it's not.
I need to be able to open up to you. I just hate feeling like a burden.
We brought mops!
And more pie.
We're gonna help you clean.
Ok, Brian, you start by eating that pie and Jenny and I will tackle the nog. Ted, dismantle the booth?
Ted...
Hey, we're cool.
Yeah.
How about I get you some soda to wash down that pie.
All right. Thanks buddy.
Amazing grace,
how sweet my quads.
Law, hang on. I'm coming.
How do I get you out of here?
You can't help. We both know these pythons won't hold.
I'm sorry I lied. If you knew I was a robot, you'd never like me.
ShotBot, that's ridiculous. I didn't like you for your smokin' looks. I liked you 'cause you're rad.
Now, get out of here with those bedroom eyes. I can't stand you to see me like this.
Not until I finish my story. Here's the first draft.
Bot meets boy.
What are you doing?
Bot falls for boy.
You idiot! The water will kill you!
Bot hurts boy.
What are you doing?! Stop!
And now I'm sorry, Law, but boy loses bot.
Don't do it!
No!
Law.
No.
Goodnight,
sweet bot.
This robot was the greatest journalist the world has ever known.
Who among you will honor him?
I will.
My man.
My.
My god. The Law didn't cheat after all. He was framed!
By who?
I don't know. Those files got wet.