THEY'RE COMING. LOCK IT DOWN.
RHYTHM GAMING.
IF I GROVEL SOME MORE, WILL YOU CUT ME DOWN?
OH, CRAP, I FORGOT MY HOMEWORK!
THE LAW, IN REGARDS
NEWS BULLETIN I DID,
OF THEIR LUCKY UNDERPANTS.
THE CORNDOG IS YOURS.
AND I'M THE CAPTAIN OF VARSITY.
PROBABLY HATE ME NOW, HUH?
I'LL SEE YOU AT PRACTICE, CAPTAIN.
- I DID. - I DID.
BOOM.
WATCH OUT FOR SNIPER FIRE.
BUT I DIDN'T FIND A LOOPHOLE FOR, UM...
HEY, BRIAN D! MY BEST BUDDY! WHAT'S UP?
SPECIAL DELIVERY.
AAAAHHHH!
AND RUIN 40 YEARS OF TRADITION? FAT CHANCE.
FLANK LEFT.
IN THE FIRST DEGREE,
SHE'S THINKING, THANK GOD FOR WEIRD STUDENT Kl SWAN,
THEY'LL NEED MORE THAN
THE PAPER IS MINE.
TO PLAYOFFS.
NO, JENNY, I DON'T HATE YOU.
A WEIRD YEAR, BRIAN.
HA HA! YOU TALKIN' TO-?
Kl. HE MEANS A LOOPHOLE TO HIS HEART.
SO, MARY MATRIX MADE YOU AND ME ROOMMATES.
BY MONDAY.
Mary Matrix: GOT IT?
' OHH! 'AAH!
WHERE'S THE BOMB?
I HATE BOTH OF YOU.
I REALLY LIKE YOU.
YOU GOT IT!
IN THE FINAL ROUND.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT ITALIAN?
FOR A FIRST DATE?
DEPENDS. WE TALKIN' PIZZA OR PASTA?
IT'S SO COMPLICATED.
TED, MY SWORD!
HANG ON, DUDE, I GOT SOMETHING COOLER.
ON A STUDY DATE.
EVERYONE LOVES TO STUDY.
OH, MAN, NO PERPS?
FARMING THIS GUY.
ALL NIGHT? ALL NIGHT?
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
WE'RE LATE FOR CLASS!
COME ON, Kl.
COMING!
DELIVERY.
LET'S GO.
CLASS IS CANCELED?
SCORE! MORE TIME FOR QUESTING. B.D., I'M LOOKING AT YOU.
OH, SORRY, DUDE. I GOTTA GO GET READY.
WE'RE MEETING THE NEW FPS COACH TODAY.
AW, MAN, THERE'S ALWAYS AN FPS THING.
WHAT ABOUT IT, Kl?
WANT TO GRIND SOME MOBS?
GRINDING AT A TIME LIKE THIS?
WE HAVE NO CLASS.
I HAVEN'T LEARNED ANYTHING IN WEEKS.
I'M OFF TO YELL AT CALHOUN.
WHATEVER. I GUESS I'LL NAB SOME Z's BEFORE DRIFT CLASS.
PSYCH. I DON'T GET SLEEPY, B.D.
I GET GAMEY.
OH, MAN, I'M TIRED.
HERE. YOU COULD USE THE EXTRA FUEL.
OH, YEAH!
BRIAN! THANK GOD. HOLD THIS.
STUFF, JENNY?
PLAYBOOKS, KILL REELS,
COACH I AM AWESOME!
FOR VARSITY, HUH?
OH, YEAH, WHATEVER GETS ME TAPED TO THAT FLAGPOLE.
WAIT, THEY TAPE YOU TO A FLAGPOLE?
IT'S AN OLD VARSITY TRADITION.
PLUS I'M GOING
KEEP BABYSITTING J.V.
OH, NOT YOU. I MEAN, YOU'RE GREAT.
IT'S JUST... THEM.
ONE... TWO-THREE!
OH, YEAH.
STOW IT, NERDS! THE TRIAL'S ON!
WELL, ANOTHER BAD DAY IN COURT FOR VGHS SUPERSTAR THE LAW,
ASSOCIATION.
HAS FLED TO ZANZIBAR,
ON LAW'S BEHALF.
HEY. HOW Y'ALL DOIN' OUT THERE?
THANKS FOR COMING OUT. REALLY MEANS A LOT.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S JUST GET THROUGH THIS.
UM... IN LIGHT OF THESE SUPER BOGUS CHEATING ALLEGATIONS,
AND OUT OF RESPECT TO VGHS,
THAT TRULY BELIEVES IN ME,
MY LEGAL TEAM AND I...
FEEL IT'S IN MY BEST INTEREST
MY PREPARED STATEMENT,
FIRE MY LEGAL TEAM,
WHO DARED FRAME THE LAW!
YOU'RE GOING DOWN, BUDDY, JUST LIKE THIS PODIUM!
NO! I NEVER CHEAT AND I NEVER LOSE!
YOUR BOASTS FUEL ME!
I'M ALL GASSED UP AND READY TO RIDE!
WHOO!
I CAN'T BELIEVE I DATED THAT GUY.
YEAH. WHAT-?
UM...
SO, I WAS GONNA GRAB
WITH TED AND Kl
AT ROMERO'S TONIGHT, BUT...
STAY INSIDE AND HANG OUT.
DO YOU WANT TO COME?
OKAY.
WHA- REALLY?
MM-HMM.
AWESOME.
AROUND SEVEN.
OH, ARE THEY ALLERGIC TO ANYTHING, BECAUSE I COULD MAKE
SHELLFISH ONION DIP.
OH, NO.
UH, THEY'RE NOT COMING.
UM, IT WAS JUST GONNA BE THE TWO OF US.
AND MAYBE CATCH A MOVIE.
JUST... YOU KNOW, HANG OUT.
DOESN'T REALLY SOUND LIKE HANGING OUT, BRIAN.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE ASKING ME ON A...
WHAT IS THAT CALLED?
YOU KNOW,
AND YOU'RE ASKING THEM ON... WHAT?
A DATE.
YES.
ON A DATE, JENNY.
PLEASE COME TO MY DATE.
O KAY.
THIRTY SECONDS LATE, JENNY. OFF TO A BAD START.
MOM?
COACH MATRIX. FALL IN.
ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL, THEODORE?
SORRY, D.K. LONG NIGHT.
AH. NO DOUBT TOILING
YOU WERE ABOUT TO GIVE ME.
THE ONE THAT'S DUE TODAY.
BOOK...
REPORT?
AW, SHUCKS, I LEFT IT IN MY ROOM.
GET IT TO YOU MONDAY?
YOU DIDN'T DO IT, DID YOU?
N O WAY.
I SUPER DID IT. I SWEAR.
IF YOU SPEAK THE TRUTH,
AT THE FPS TOURNEY THE REPORT.
YOU WANT IT BY TOMORROW?
I WANTED IT BY TODAY.
IN SHAMBLES,
LIKE FLIES,
LIKE MARY MATRIX?
FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR JOB, CALHOUN,
THE RIGHT CHOICE.
NOT THE RIGHT CHOICE; THE ONLY CHOICE.
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE A SCHOOL TO RUN.
DO YOU TWO WANT?
TO GIVE ME HOMEWORK.
WE HAVEN'T HAD AN ASSIGNMENT IN WEEKS.
YOU WANT HOMEWORK? DIDN'T YOU COME HERE TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES?
ACTUALLY, I CAME HERE
WHAT MAKES THEM TICK, AND-
TLDR, Kl. NOBODY CARES.
FREDDIE, COME ON. YOU KNOW THE RULES.
I KNOW I RULE.
EACH WEEK.
THIS IS A SCHOOL, GODDAMN IT.
UGH, FINE, FINE.
UH, Kl, YOUR HOMEWORK
IS TO DO NO HOMEWORK.
NICE TRY, FREDDIE, BUT I DON'T THINK THAT COUNTS.
- THAT COUNTS. - WHAT?
IN YOUR FACE!
JUST BREATHE, Kl.
KEEP IT TOGETHER.
DEAN CALHOUN,
FROM FREDDIE'S CLASS.
YEAH, NO. NO, YOU DON'T GET TO DO THAT.
YOU DON'T GET TO WITHDRAW FROM CLASS,
BY THE TEACHER.
AND THAT AIN'T NEVER GONNA HAPPEN, YOU UGLY NARC!
BUT... OKAY, BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
THERE'S GOT TO BE A LOOPHOLE OR SOMETHING.
WHY DON'T YOU GO LOOK FOR THAT LOOPHOLE ELSEWHERE?
IF YOU TWO DON'T MIND, I HAVE A SCHOOL TO RUN.
HM!
THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
ON YOU, MY MAN.
RIGHT THERE. LAYING IT DOWN, LARGE AND IN CHARGE.
GIMME THE BONES.
POUND IT. RIGHT HERE.
POUND ME. KNUCKLE SANDWICH.
STAR PLAYER. BIG WHOOP.
YOU KNOW WHAT'S BETTER THAN A STAR PLAYER?
- HAVING A STAR TEAM. - NO. A STAR COACH. THAT'S ME.
THE DENVER COMMANDOES,
A PRO CHAMPIONSHIP,
AND I'M SURE AS HELL
AT THE HIGH SCHOOL LEVEL.
I DO NOT LIKE WASTING TIME.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, J.V., I CAN'T BOTHER WITH YOU,
WHATEVER IT IS THAT YOU DO.
VARSITY, LET'S TALK BUSINESS.
THIS IS THE NEW PLAYBOOK.
BANGED IT OUT LAST NIGHT. MEMORIZE IT BY GAME TIME.
BY MONDAY MORNING?
MS. MATRIX, THAT'S MARBLE MADNESS!
YOU'RE CUT FROM THE TEAM, ALLITERATOR.
ANYONE ELSE?
WELL, IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED.
GOODBYE, EVERYBODY.
SO I'LL SEE THE REST OF YOU AT THE GAME.
DISMISSED.
MOVE IT.
SO YOUR MOM'S THE NEW COACH.
THAT'$, UH, COOL, RIGHT?
I'LL SEE YOU AT SEVEN, BRIAN.
OKAY, YEAH. SEE YOU AT MY PLACE.
MY PLACE...?
THE NEW COACH?
YEAH, SO I CAN HANDLE OUR ANNUAL PHONE CALL, BUT, UM,
WHY YOU'RE HERE?
YEAH, CALHOUN CALLED IN A FAVOR, AND I THOUGHT, WHY NOT?
I'LL STOP MY DAUGHTER FROM SCREWING UP HER CAREER.
OKAY. YOU'RE HERE. WHATEVER. YAY.
ON VARSITY, I WANT IT.
- AND WHEN YOU'RE READY FOR IT, I'LL- - READY? ARE YOU SERIOUS?
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE? I HAVE A GAME THAT I NEED TO PREP FOR.
STORY OF MY LIFE.
GOOD TALK, MOM.
THAT'S THE LAST RULE BOOK.
THERE ARE NO LOOPHOLES.
I'LL NEVER HAVE HOMEWORK AGAIN.
OH, GOD.
HEY, KIWI.
GOT THE HOMEWORK BLUES?
ME TOO.
I'M GONNA BE UP ALL NIGHT DOING THIS LONG,
BORING, SUCCULENT,
SAVORY HOMEWORK.
MAN, I'M HUNGRY.
AND SLEEPY.
A PIZZA AND GO TO BED?
HEY, TED, I NEED YOUR HELP!
YOU GOT IT, BEST FRIEND!
TED, WAIT! YOU LEFT YOUR HOME...
WORK.
OKAY, MAN, THIS PLACE IS BOOKS!
NOW I'VE REALLY GOT TO HIT THE CLEAN THIS PLACE SPOTLESS.
ALL RIGHT, THANKS, BUDDY.
HEY, WHAT DO YOU THINK- TOMMY VERCETTI OR MAX PAYNE?
I DON'T WANT TO SMELL LIKE A
OR DO I?
NO, NO, NO, NO. TED, YOU GOTTA WAKE UP, MAN.
JENNY'S GONNA BE HERE ANY SECOND!
I'LL GET IT.
- WHY, HELLO. - GOT A MOMENT?
UH, SURE THING, MISS... COACH. WHAT'S UP?
IT SMELLS LIKE YOU GOT A DATE, SO I'LL JUST CUT TO THE CHASE.
I JUST TALKED TO VARSITY. WHEW, THEY HATE YOU.
OH. GOOD?
YEAH, I SAID THE SAME THING.
SEE, I NEED SOMEONE TO MAKE THEM MAD,
UNDER THEIR ASSES,
AND YOUR ASS IS THAT FIRE.
SO, I AM STARTING YOU IN THE VARSITY GAME TOMORROW.
WHAT?
JENNY.
UH, BENNY. TED BENNY. MY ROOMMATE TED BENNY.
ABOUT TED BENNY.
OH, MAN, I'M SURE HE'S ON ONE OF HIS CLASSIC JAMS AGAIN.
UH, BEAR ME.
HEY, YOU.
AND JUST STAY IN TONIGHT?
BUT, UM, THE DIP, THE DIP- WHERE'S THE DIP?
DIP? OH, I MUST HAVE FORGOT.
LOOK, JENNY, JUST BECAUSE TED AND Kl AREN'T HERE
DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T WANT DIP.
OKAY.
UM... I THINK I HAVE SOME PICANTE IN MY ROOM.
THAT SOUNDS GREAT. YEAH, GO GET THAT.
PLEASE.
OKAY. SURE.
OH, BRING CHIPS, TOO.
OH, HE'S So FUNNY!
OH, MY GOODNESS!
OH, THAT'S SO FUNNY.
SO, ABOUT TOMORROW'S GAME,
I'LL SEE YOU AT THE GAME, BRIAN.
YES, MA'AM.
BAD TIE.
MY GOODNESS.
HERE'S YOUR SALSA, WEIRDO.
JENNY, WAIT. LISTEN, WE GOTTA TALK, ALL RIGHT?
- BRIAN, PLEASE.
JUST RELAX TONIGHT?
WE NEED CHIPS.
AHEM. CHIPS.
BRB.
COME ON, TED. COME ON, TED, BE AWAKE.
TED!
JENNY'S HERE, IN HER PJ's.
SHE LOOKS ADORABLE. I THINK WE'RE GONNA CUDDLE!
TO START ME IN VARSITY TOMORROW,
BUT SHE WANTS TO START TOMORROW,
AND IF I TELL HER, THAT'S GONNA RUIN OUR DATE.
- DUDE, WHAT DO I DO? - Ki: BRIAN?
Kl?
BRIAN, DO YOU HAVE ANY HOMEWORK?
WHAT? WHERE'S TED?
OH, I DON'T KNOW, AND I DON'T CARE.
I JUST FINISHED HIS HOMEWORK, AND I NEED MORE.
- Ki: WHAT DO I DO? - HAVE YOU TRIED-?
WELCOME TO VARSITY, BRIAN!
HA HA HA HA HA!
Ki: BRIAN? BRIAN? BRIAN?
ONE SECOND, BRIAN, I HAVE ANOTHER PHONE CALL COMING IN.
HELLO, Kl'S PHONE. Kl SPEAKING.
HELLO, Kl.
THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.
LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE DOING YOUR HOMEWORK.
THIS IS NOT MINE, I PROMISE.
OH, IF IT'S NOT YOURS, THAT'S-
WAIT A MINUTE.
ISN'T THAT THE HOMEWORK I ASSIGNED YOU?
"F" STANDS FOR MORE THAN JUST FREDDIE, Kl.
STANDS FOR "YOU FAIL"!
- NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. - YES.
YOU'RE FAILING MY CLASS, Kl.