1 00:00:07,130 --> 00:00:08,663 Previously, on "Rick and Morty"... 2 00:00:08,670 --> 00:00:10,582 Jerry, I had sex with your wife. 3 00:00:10,590 --> 00:00:13,390 - Ohhh! - I did it! I fixed portal travel! 4 00:00:13,410 --> 00:00:15,620 Jack the Ripper, at your service. 5 00:00:15,630 --> 00:00:17,334 - Cool! - This happened too? 6 00:00:17,335 --> 00:00:20,216 - I'm pregnant. - Honey, she's just like you! 7 00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,135 - It's raining meatballs! - Okay, something is... 8 00:00:22,136 --> 00:00:24,510 Jerry Smith died doing what he loved... 9 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:26,590 - getting stung by bees. - Off. 10 00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:28,290 Off what? Have some respect. 11 00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:29,560 It's Dad's funeral. 12 00:00:29,570 --> 00:00:31,470 I'm gonna name you Jerry Jr. 13 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:33,170 Thanks for solving that murder, guys. 14 00:00:33,180 --> 00:00:34,989 - Here's a skateboard. - Aw, thanks, Tony Hawk! 15 00:00:34,990 --> 00:00:36,229 - Morty, say you'll marry me! - What? 16 00:00:36,230 --> 00:00:37,270 - What? - Just say yes! 17 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,830 - Yes? - Okay... 18 00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:40,170 Rick, do you promise to... 19 00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:42,149 I do, and for our honeymoon let's go to a sealed chamber 20 00:00:42,150 --> 00:00:44,032 - lined with ionized deuterium! - Why? 21 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,050 Because the charge acts as a narrative decelerant. 22 00:00:46,070 --> 00:00:47,310 Morty, none of this is real. 23 00:00:47,320 --> 00:00:49,590 We're in a "previously on" spiral. Clear your head. 24 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:51,414 - After all that's happened? - No. 25 00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:52,430 I-I'm innocent! 26 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:53,830 I didn't release those bees! 27 00:00:53,850 --> 00:00:54,917 I love Jerry! 28 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,610 - What'd I just say? - When? 29 00:00:56,630 --> 00:00:57,729 Okay, great execution. 30 00:00:57,730 --> 00:00:59,297 Let's go back to the chamber. 31 00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:02,130 Now repeat after me, Morty... "Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'" 32 00:01:02,140 --> 00:01:03,830 Next time on "Rick and Morty"? 33 00:01:03,840 --> 00:01:05,890 No. Previously, on "Rick and Morty"... 34 00:01:05,910 --> 00:01:08,290 Ignore it, Morty. "Next time on 'Rick and Morty.'" 35 00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:09,470 It counteracts his toxins. 36 00:01:09,490 --> 00:01:10,810 Next time on "Rick and Morty." 37 00:01:10,830 --> 00:01:12,977 - Whose toxins? - Hey, stop it! 38 00:01:12,980 --> 00:01:14,520 Previous Leon! Grab him! 39 00:01:15,570 --> 00:01:18,029 Hold on tight, Morty! We got to get through the opening titles! 40 00:01:18,030 --> 00:01:19,692 Opening titles of what? 41 00:01:19,700 --> 00:01:21,849 - Whoa! We're in space! - Let go of me! Ow! Ow! 42 00:01:24,580 --> 00:01:26,199 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 43 00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:30,550 What planet is this? 44 00:01:30,570 --> 00:01:31,740 Cover your eyes on this part. 45 00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:33,915 Oh, my God, it's a giant squirrel! 46 00:01:34,630 --> 00:01:36,417 Why are we dressed like old-timey people? 47 00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:38,711 - What the hell's going on? - No way! 48 00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:41,381 Why is my dad in a suit? 49 00:01:41,390 --> 00:01:43,530 - Best episode! - Why am I butter? 50 00:01:43,550 --> 00:01:44,900 Okay, we're almost through. 51 00:01:44,910 --> 00:01:46,470 - Ohh! - Ohh! 52 00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:49,140 Ow! 53 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,450 Ugh, and we're back! 54 00:01:53,460 --> 00:01:54,560 Stop! 55 00:01:54,570 --> 00:01:56,030 - What just happened? - Let go of me! 56 00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:57,090 Why was there music? 57 00:01:58,110 --> 00:02:00,310 Because of this conceptual little piece of shit! 58 00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,510 - Grab his feet! - If we have opening titles, 59 00:02:02,530 --> 00:02:04,140 d-does that mean that we're a... 60 00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:06,290 Let your body purge the meta-venom, Morty. 61 00:02:06,310 --> 00:02:08,199 Don't succumb to his pointless self-aware bullshit. 62 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,530 It's not pointless, it's cool! 63 00:02:10,450 --> 00:02:12,310 - He's got a gun! - Eat lead, pussy! 64 00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:15,540 No, no, no! 65 00:02:15,550 --> 00:02:16,666 Fuck! 66 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,090 Oh! 67 00:02:19,210 --> 00:02:20,210 Son of a... 68 00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:21,640 - Did he use a portal? - He wishes. 69 00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:23,070 He wriggled back to the meta layer 70 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:24,269 through a hole in the fourth wall. 71 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,850 Put these on and help me find it. 72 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:29,339 - I-I don't like this, Rick. 73 00:02:29,340 --> 00:02:31,470 Yeah, you shouldn't. It's not a likable premise. 74 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:33,899 I mean it's funny when I do a little nod to the viewers, but... 75 00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,939 - What viewers? - That's the right attitude, Morty. 76 00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:38,300 A few carefree verbal asides, always by me. 77 00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:40,510 None of this season-three "Moonlighting" shit. 78 00:02:40,530 --> 00:02:42,539 - Okay, here it is. - You're going to... to patch it? 79 00:02:42,540 --> 00:02:44,670 No, he subverted actual reality, Morty. 80 00:02:44,690 --> 00:02:46,890 He needs to be put down like a rabid dog. 81 00:02:55,410 --> 00:02:56,730 Ow! Fuck! 82 00:02:56,750 --> 00:02:58,790 Oh, yeah, no, you don't wanna wear those over here. 83 00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:01,880 Maybe he went down that road? 84 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,769 No, no, no. If he took that, he'd end up a hero. 85 00:03:03,770 --> 00:03:05,550 Damn it, Rick. I don't like this. 86 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,780 I-Is this whole place just... 87 00:03:06,790 --> 00:03:08,250 A bunch of groan-inducing wordplay 88 00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:10,370 for seven TV critics that won't even enjoy it? 89 00:03:10,390 --> 00:03:11,649 It's worse than you think, Morty. 90 00:03:11,650 --> 00:03:13,473 We're basting in meta radiation right now. 91 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,390 Our credibility is being permanently eroded. 92 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,570 Every second we spend here 93 00:03:16,590 --> 00:03:18,710 is the equivalent to 10 "Space Jam" cameos. 94 00:03:18,730 --> 00:03:20,880 You should have thought of that... previously! 95 00:03:20,890 --> 00:03:21,900 Get him! 96 00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:25,690 Ow! Ow! 97 00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:30,500 Oh, no! Bless me, Heavenly Father, for you will save me. 98 00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,580 Now I feel bad. Let's just get out of here. 99 00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:33,610 Because he prays? 100 00:03:33,620 --> 00:03:35,330 You know Hitler was Catholic, right? 101 00:03:36,037 --> 00:03:37,163 I'm here, Leon. 102 00:03:37,170 --> 00:03:38,270 - Uhh... - Okay. 103 00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:40,490 He apparently prays very well. 104 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:42,410 Time for you two to meet the Lord. 105 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,439 That's okay, we're good. Treat it like a bear attack. 106 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,860 Just walk backwards and make yourself look big. 107 00:03:46,870 --> 00:03:49,810 I love a good refusal of the call. 108 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,590 Hello, Rick. 109 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,630 Hello... Amish Juggler? 110 00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,490 His name is Story Lord. 111 00:03:55,510 --> 00:03:57,225 Story... Lord? 112 00:03:57,230 --> 00:03:58,930 Listen, trust me, take Amish Juggler. 113 00:03:58,950 --> 00:04:00,550 - You can have it. - Story Lord. 114 00:04:00,570 --> 00:04:03,010 Rick, h-he's the villain from that toy train I bought you. 115 00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:05,090 Very good, Morty. The fictional versions of you 116 00:04:05,110 --> 00:04:07,010 trapped me in a Bible show for children, 117 00:04:07,030 --> 00:04:08,470 but I used make-believe Christ 118 00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:11,450 to transcend fiction and enter meta-reality. 119 00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:14,010 Now I'm the one doing the trapping. 120 00:04:14,030 --> 00:04:15,550 Leon was the bait. 121 00:04:15,570 --> 00:04:16,920 - Bait? - Jesus? 122 00:04:16,930 --> 00:04:18,746 Aaah! 123 00:04:18,750 --> 00:04:20,020 Aah! 124 00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:22,980 Don't ever...! Dumb mother...! 125 00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:27,750 You're using Jesus to beat us up? 126 00:04:27,770 --> 00:04:30,230 - Have you seen "South Park"? - Good call-out, Morty. 127 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:31,800 That's the kind of meta I like, 128 00:04:31,810 --> 00:04:34,010 the kind that keeps us creatively accountable. 129 00:04:34,020 --> 00:04:36,330 Oh, God. Not the Bane. Not the Bane! 130 00:04:37,570 --> 00:04:40,560 He Baned me, Morty. Oh, Jesus Baned me. 131 00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:43,509 Y-You can't beat me up. I-I'm... I'm... 132 00:04:43,510 --> 00:04:45,022 I'm technically a Christian child! 133 00:04:45,030 --> 00:04:47,160 And I'm your worst nightmare. 134 00:04:47,170 --> 00:04:49,430 I'm the Jesus from every Jesus joke. 135 00:04:49,450 --> 00:04:53,030 - The one without a God. - Morty! Take this and get out! 136 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:54,570 Thank you. 137 00:04:54,590 --> 00:04:57,120 Looks like Story Lord's story is about to become... 138 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,786 based on real events. 139 00:04:58,790 --> 00:04:59,839 What do you want with that? 140 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:01,789 I want what any character wants. 141 00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:03,082 Motivation! 142 00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:05,585 - What? That's dumb. - So lazy! 143 00:05:05,590 --> 00:05:07,530 Forward your notes to my ass! 144 00:05:09,650 --> 00:05:11,140 Wait, what? He just left. 145 00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:13,670 Kind of makes you want to be our unlikely ally, huh? 146 00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:14,730 Oh, I guess not. 147 00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,420 Previously, on Jesus Christ... 148 00:05:20,010 --> 00:05:21,550 - Hey, I'm Jesus. - I'm Mary. 149 00:05:21,570 --> 00:05:23,561 - That's my mom's name! - Stop. 150 00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:26,310 - Dude, she's a hooker. - She's a better disciple than you! 151 00:05:26,830 --> 00:05:29,690 Ow! Aw! Owww! 152 00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:31,670 Oh, no. 153 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,280 I can't die. 154 00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,700 I 'ave a proposition for you. 155 00:05:36,710 --> 00:05:38,200 I work alone. 156 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,510 If I suck-a your blood, I'll be invincible! I think! 157 00:05:44,530 --> 00:05:46,330 - You'll never know. - Aah! 158 00:05:46,340 --> 00:05:49,130 Billionaire immortal entrepreneur Jesus Christ 159 00:05:49,150 --> 00:05:50,520 has placed all his money 160 00:05:50,540 --> 00:05:53,420 into what he's calling a "second chance at love." 161 00:05:53,430 --> 00:05:55,969 - Hang on, Mary! - The data! 162 00:05:55,970 --> 00:05:57,970 So beautiful! 163 00:05:57,980 --> 00:06:00,681 Make me normal, witch. 164 00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:04,101 Take it all! 165 00:06:04,110 --> 00:06:06,050 Eat your pudding, Mr. Christ. 166 00:06:06,070 --> 00:06:07,980 What are you smiling at? 167 00:06:07,990 --> 00:06:09,774 Your name. 168 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:13,470 What's happening, Rick? 169 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,069 Leon's venom makes you think more and more of your life is behind you 170 00:06:16,070 --> 00:06:18,170 as he feeds on your released potential. 171 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:21,327 Leon, y-you saved our lives! 172 00:06:21,330 --> 00:06:23,430 - Oh, not yet, he hasn't. - Jeez, Rick! 173 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:24,610 - So mean! - He's meta, Morty. 174 00:06:24,630 --> 00:06:25,748 His life doesn't matter. 175 00:06:25,750 --> 00:06:28,125 Yours does. That's why we need to get back. 176 00:06:28,130 --> 00:06:30,999 - Well, this doesn't feel like a citadel. 177 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:35,174 Uh, maybe it's cooler on the inside. 178 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:38,190 This isn't what it looks like. 179 00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:41,290 This is a very special diet for successful writers. 180 00:06:41,310 --> 00:06:42,710 Why do you look like my character? 181 00:06:42,730 --> 00:06:44,150 I am your character! 182 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,477 And you are going to improve me. 183 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:48,229 But you're Story Lord. You're great. 184 00:06:48,230 --> 00:06:50,000 Great isn't good enough! 185 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,690 I've killed Rick and made myself real! 186 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:55,390 I'm better than some shitty toy train. 187 00:06:55,410 --> 00:06:57,310 Is this your office or your apartment? 188 00:06:57,330 --> 00:06:59,230 Why does it smell like you sleep here? 189 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,430 You're my creator. Why are you pathetic? 190 00:07:01,450 --> 00:07:03,740 - Because you failed! - And whose fault is that? 191 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:04,870 What the hell happened? 192 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,930 You want to know what happened? Like, specifically? 193 00:07:06,950 --> 00:07:09,750 Well, the Ricks wanted to do a "Canterbury Tales"-type thing, 194 00:07:09,770 --> 00:07:11,989 but none of them have actually read fucking "Canterbury Tales." 195 00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:14,069 So then they told me to make it like the poker-game episode 196 00:07:14,070 --> 00:07:15,150 of the Batman cartoon 197 00:07:15,170 --> 00:07:17,130 where the bad guys tell stories about Batman. 198 00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:19,260 Then they kept telling me it "needed something." 199 00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:21,110 Yeah, no shit, it needed something! 200 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,030 It needed to never be pitched! 201 00:07:23,050 --> 00:07:24,300 I did my job! 202 00:07:24,310 --> 00:07:26,900 Goomby, the Ice Queen, the Tickets Please guy. 203 00:07:26,910 --> 00:07:28,030 They just bailed on it! 204 00:07:28,050 --> 00:07:29,690 The website didn't even fucking work! 205 00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,470 And it was a shitty URL to begin with, 206 00:07:31,490 --> 00:07:34,650 "Story-dash-train"? Who uses a dash? 207 00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:36,850 They set me up to fail. They fucked me! 208 00:07:36,870 --> 00:07:39,780 They fucked me and you're lucky I haven't blown my brains out! 209 00:07:39,790 --> 00:07:42,570 Right. Just give me a motivation, you hacky fart. 210 00:07:42,590 --> 00:07:43,990 Okay, here's your motivation. 211 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,810 You're looking for motivation. 212 00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:47,960 You want all the motivation. 213 00:07:47,970 --> 00:07:50,207 - That's lazy. - It got you this far. 214 00:07:50,210 --> 00:07:51,410 Must be nice, by the way. 215 00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:53,880 Wish I could afford to dress like a bisexual acting coach 216 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,070 from the '70s. 217 00:07:55,090 --> 00:07:58,170 My motivation... is motivation. 218 00:07:58,180 --> 00:07:59,675 Okay. Bye. 219 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:03,220 Oh, no, my bitter friend. You're coming with me. 220 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:08,130 Yo! If you don't see me coming, it's a bad fortress! 221 00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:12,960 - Where are we? - Headquarters of the Self-Referential Six. 222 00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,139 They're meta nerds that found out they could be less bearable 223 00:08:15,140 --> 00:08:16,680 - as a team. - They can help us? 224 00:08:16,690 --> 00:08:18,629 No, but there's a prisoner here that can. Shh. 225 00:08:18,630 --> 00:08:20,929 - Don't tell them that. - Rick Sanchez. 226 00:08:20,930 --> 00:08:23,490 I've been waiting for this moment for years. 227 00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:26,577 Oh, good. Morty, this is Miss... Lead. 228 00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:28,900 I should kill you where you stand. 229 00:08:29,920 --> 00:08:31,310 I brought you Previous Leon. 230 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,269 You'll want to lock him up in your detention center. 231 00:08:33,270 --> 00:08:35,050 It's a trick! He wants your prisoner! 232 00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:36,550 - You dick. - Liar! 233 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:37,770 Talk about a mislead. 234 00:08:37,790 --> 00:08:40,090 - Anti-meta field. - Fancy device. 235 00:08:40,110 --> 00:08:42,530 I think I can recall the time you built it. 236 00:08:42,550 --> 00:08:44,136 Don't try it, Flash Back! 237 00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,580 You know, I-I'm excited about the upcoming election. 238 00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:51,250 This forcefield will be impenetrable by meta-energy. 239 00:08:51,270 --> 00:08:52,870 It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 240 00:08:52,890 --> 00:08:54,605 Hmmm. 241 00:08:54,610 --> 00:08:57,010 It runs on hydrogen isotopes. 242 00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:59,700 A few barrels of petroleum should dampen it. 243 00:08:59,710 --> 00:09:01,110 Run, Morty! 244 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,810 Were those not there before? 245 00:09:03,830 --> 00:09:06,449 Guess there's been a... Connie TinuityError. 246 00:09:07,470 --> 00:09:10,162 - These people are the worst! - I told you! Way overpowered! 247 00:09:12,750 --> 00:09:15,280 - Look out, Rick! - Forget him. He's a nameless guard. 248 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:17,760 That's Protago Nick. 249 00:09:17,770 --> 00:09:20,339 His beam has the power to make any character the protagonist. 250 00:09:21,465 --> 00:09:23,092 D-Duck! 251 00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:25,550 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 252 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,370 Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man, oh, man. 253 00:09:27,390 --> 00:09:29,430 Gah! What are you doing, Marvin? 254 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,860 Not dying, that's what I'm doing. 255 00:09:31,870 --> 00:09:34,530 Oh, what's going on? What happened? 256 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:37,200 I did it again, Katie. I ran out on another job. 257 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:40,230 Well, if you didn't do that, you wouldn't be my man. 258 00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:58,020 I was almost tempted to just let it go. 259 00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,930 - That's how much I hate it here. - Smash cut! 260 00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:02,400 Remember me, Rick? 261 00:10:02,410 --> 00:10:04,910 - Who's this guy, now? - I am Mr. Twist. 262 00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:08,330 The fifth member of the Self-Referential Six. 263 00:10:08,350 --> 00:10:11,900 - Who's the sixth? - That's the twist, Morty. It's you. 264 00:10:11,910 --> 00:10:12,979 - What? - Ignore him, Morty. 265 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,509 The twist is there's no sixth member 266 00:10:14,510 --> 00:10:17,270 - and he tells that to everybody. - In any case, you're ours now. 267 00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,210 You can't free yourself without a twist, 268 00:10:19,230 --> 00:10:22,730 - and I control them. - You don't control every twist, Mr. Twist. 269 00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:25,550 - I've got a twist for you. - Impossible! What is it? 270 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:26,572 - Aah! - Aha! 271 00:10:26,580 --> 00:10:29,550 Nice try! Like I didn't see that coming. 272 00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:32,410 Fuck me. 273 00:10:33,790 --> 00:10:35,748 - Great work, Morty! - I'm adapting! 274 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,124 Here's our ticket out of here. 275 00:10:37,130 --> 00:10:38,529 They got him in a cell made out of sports 276 00:10:38,530 --> 00:10:40,010 because it's the opposite of story. 277 00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,560 Do I want to ask who he is? 278 00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:42,990 His name is Brett Caan. 279 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,710 He has the power to make things always have been other things. 280 00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:47,230 I think that's called retconning. 281 00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:48,510 B-But his name's Brett Caan? 282 00:10:48,520 --> 00:10:51,330 I mean, Rhett's a name too. His name could be Rhett Caan. 283 00:10:51,350 --> 00:10:54,370 It is. And always has been... now. 284 00:10:54,390 --> 00:10:55,770 - Whoa. - Careful, Morty. 285 00:10:55,790 --> 00:10:57,200 Stay clear of his retcon range. 286 00:10:57,210 --> 00:10:58,510 Until he agrees to help us. 287 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,898 Rick, you've always trusted me. 288 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,930 Nice try. Here's how it's gonna work. 289 00:11:02,950 --> 00:11:05,290 You're gonna make it so Morty and I never came here. 290 00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:06,789 Once that's always been the case, 291 00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:09,950 - I'll free you remotely with this. - What is my purpose? 292 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,770 To wait until I tell you to pull that lever. 293 00:11:11,790 --> 00:11:13,202 You are fucking kidding me. 294 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:15,010 If you don't free me right now, Rick, 295 00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:18,660 I can make very, very bad things always have been the case for you. 296 00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:19,830 Is that a threat, you fuck? 297 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,910 - Y-Y-You can rot in there. - Rick. 298 00:11:22,710 --> 00:11:24,179 You know what, Rhett? Forget what I said. 299 00:11:24,180 --> 00:11:25,630 We've always been friends. 300 00:11:25,650 --> 00:11:27,040 Good one. 301 00:11:27,050 --> 00:11:28,370 Whoa, easy, Rhett. 302 00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:30,840 Don't forget that coffee mug I gave you. 303 00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:33,980 You always were able to be killed with coffee. 304 00:11:33,990 --> 00:11:36,433 Aaah! 305 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:38,180 New plan. Run. Again. 306 00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:40,520 The twist being... 307 00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:42,550 You were born without bones. 308 00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:44,790 See ya never! 309 00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:48,700 There's never been anything outside this fortress. 310 00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:49,730 God damn it! 311 00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:54,650 And this fortress has always been an orange! 312 00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:58,470 Pluh! Great plan, Rick! 313 00:11:58,480 --> 00:11:59,899 Yeah, I'm not pushing back on that, Morty, 314 00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,820 I have royally fucked us. 315 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:05,050 Ugh! It hurts. 316 00:12:05,070 --> 00:12:06,900 We've been past the fourth wall too long. 317 00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:09,890 - We won't be real much longer. - You killed us, Rick. 318 00:12:09,910 --> 00:12:13,130 You just had to hate meta storytelling. 319 00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:14,350 In my defense, Morty, 320 00:12:14,370 --> 00:12:17,650 I think you can agree my hate was justified. Ohh! 321 00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:23,140 Least... earned... death... ever... 322 00:12:26,530 --> 00:12:28,770 Death is a threshold. 323 00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:36,030 Ugh! What... What happened? 324 00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:37,077 You atoned. 325 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:38,537 Who... Who are you? 326 00:12:38,538 --> 00:12:40,990 I'm Joseph Campbell. Soup? 327 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,330 I almost considered not making it because my name is Campbell, 328 00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:46,370 but then I thought, stay in the moment, Joe. 329 00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:48,530 - Follow your bliss. - How are you here? 330 00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:50,424 R-Rhett Caan said there was nothing. 331 00:12:50,430 --> 00:12:52,690 Some things never change about mythology. 332 00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:54,830 There's always an old man with soup. 333 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:57,510 Name one story that doesn't have one. 334 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:59,239 - Uh, Jack and the Beanstalk. - "Basketball Diaries." 335 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:00,930 - Every "Matrix." - Every movie ever. 336 00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:03,019 All right, I don't have to defend myself to you people. 337 00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:04,430 Where's my soup? 338 00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,648 Previous Fuckin' Leon. 339 00:13:06,650 --> 00:13:07,830 Why is that prick here? 340 00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:10,310 No more a prick than you, friend. 341 00:13:10,330 --> 00:13:12,650 Meta characters erode reality. 342 00:13:12,670 --> 00:13:14,790 But all characters are meta, Rick. 343 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,910 All of us are nourished and consumed by chaos, 344 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,270 like newborns at the breast of a meth addict 345 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,700 - in a lifeboat filled with forks. - I know what you have to do, Rick. 346 00:13:23,710 --> 00:13:25,390 Scrub Campbell's browser history? 347 00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:27,400 Just trust Previous Leon. 348 00:13:27,410 --> 00:13:29,505 Could you previously us a way home? 349 00:13:29,510 --> 00:13:32,810 Uh, well, I'll sure enjoy trying. 350 00:13:32,830 --> 00:13:33,870 Yeah, I bet you would. 351 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,740 Rick can't change, Morty. 352 00:13:35,750 --> 00:13:38,470 Change is what you might call his Kryptonite. 353 00:13:38,490 --> 00:13:40,210 Except instead of being super, 354 00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:42,810 he's, you know, kind of a pussy. 355 00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:43,970 Let's do it. 356 00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:47,390 Previously, on Rick... 357 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:48,849 Get him off! Get him off! 358 00:13:48,850 --> 00:13:50,232 Oh, boy. 359 00:13:50,233 --> 00:13:53,280 - He almost killed you! - Okay, well, I feel bad, 360 00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:55,100 I kind of pressured you into trying that. 361 00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:57,574 - You called me a pussy. - I said I feel bad! 362 00:13:57,580 --> 00:14:02,150 This is a map to a region rich in narrative ore. 363 00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:03,650 I wish you the best of luck. 364 00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:04,870 Faster, Morty! I'd help, 365 00:14:04,890 --> 00:14:06,792 but I can't blister my inventing hands. 366 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,210 - How long will it take? - Years. 367 00:14:08,220 --> 00:14:09,720 You can live in my wood shed. 368 00:14:09,730 --> 00:14:12,253 - Just don't open the door after dark. - Why not? 369 00:14:12,254 --> 00:14:14,369 Get out here, you Communist Jews! 370 00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:17,000 - Dude. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic. - I know, right? 371 00:14:17,010 --> 00:14:19,380 You fucking "Back to the Future" rip-offs! 372 00:14:20,050 --> 00:14:21,950 - It's ready. - Rick, I should stay. 373 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,469 - Why? - I'm pregnant. 374 00:14:23,470 --> 00:14:24,649 - What are you doing? - It wasn't him, Rick! 375 00:14:24,650 --> 00:14:27,190 - Then who? - Me! I never left. 376 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,898 But you had to think all this happened to make that. 377 00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,483 And I can get this through the titles? 378 00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:32,985 If you hang on tight. 379 00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:34,862 What about my beard and unborn child? 380 00:14:34,870 --> 00:14:36,113 Let them go. 381 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,130 - Thank you, Leon. - When you get home, Rick, 382 00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:39,910 do some classic adventures. 383 00:14:39,930 --> 00:14:42,049 - Like season one... - I'm so sick of that fucking note. 384 00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:43,730 What the fuck does it even mean? 385 00:14:48,270 --> 00:14:50,750 Ohh! 386 00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:53,540 Now, one last time. 387 00:14:53,550 --> 00:14:55,890 - What's my motivation? - Motivation. 388 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:58,719 This machine will siphon it from everyone in the universe. 389 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,550 Perfect. Greenlit. Launch it. 390 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,230 Oh, I think it's working! Yes, I can feel it! 391 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,970 Something I did is actually affecting someone! 392 00:15:13,950 --> 00:15:15,110 I don't want to work anymore. 393 00:15:15,130 --> 00:15:18,980 I do, but only as an excuse to not practice guitar. 394 00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:26,220 Why don't we just write any number down on the score sheet? 395 00:15:26,230 --> 00:15:27,650 Oh, why even do that? 396 00:15:31,330 --> 00:15:33,490 - Wait, you have to register? 397 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:38,330 Yes! I can feel it! I'm so motivated! 398 00:15:38,340 --> 00:15:41,060 I want... a lot! 399 00:15:42,790 --> 00:15:45,849 - Story time's over. - Ha! Hardly your decision. 400 00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:49,228 Did you seriously double down on motivation as your motivation? 401 00:15:49,230 --> 00:15:51,410 - It's a good idea! - There's no such thing! 402 00:15:51,430 --> 00:15:52,789 There's joyful and there's joyless, 403 00:15:52,790 --> 00:15:54,050 and we've had our fill of one. 404 00:15:54,070 --> 00:15:55,930 Morty, make that sweaty writer stop working 405 00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:58,278 while I kill off his character. 406 00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:02,241 I have never been more driven to destroy someone. 407 00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:03,799 Yeah, well, I'm driven to lower my blood sugar, 408 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:06,328 but guess who's getting tacos after he kicks your ass? 409 00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:09,130 So you're jacked. Who cares? 410 00:16:10,170 --> 00:16:12,360 - Cum gutters. - I don't like that phrase. 411 00:16:12,380 --> 00:16:13,585 I don't take notes. 412 00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,190 You can't beat me, Rick. 413 00:16:20,210 --> 00:16:22,940 I have one million times your motivation! 414 00:16:22,950 --> 00:16:25,472 So do those guys with the cellphone kiosks at the mall. 415 00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:52,580 The hair is wrong. 416 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,501 Like you'd be picky about licensing. 417 00:16:54,510 --> 00:16:56,837 Actually, I would. I happen to believe that... 418 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,596 - You can do that? - You got to want it. 419 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:08,810 Come on, just stop. I-I don't want to fight you. 420 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,410 Kid, I'm a writer that wrote something successful. 421 00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:12,539 So if you want me to give it up, 422 00:17:12,540 --> 00:17:13,579 you're gonna need a black belt 423 00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,870 - or a big pair of tits. - Yeah, well, I don't have those. 424 00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:18,300 In the mythical sense, I have both. 425 00:17:18,310 --> 00:17:19,350 Joseph Campbell? 426 00:17:19,360 --> 00:17:21,236 Yeah, nice try. He died in the '80s. 427 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,450 Only you can see and hear me, Morty. 428 00:17:23,460 --> 00:17:25,866 - Just repeat what I tell you. - Okay. 429 00:17:26,940 --> 00:17:29,780 Sir, you're only proud of your creation's success 430 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,530 because you want to be creative, 431 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:33,610 but creation doesn't happen through gimmicks, 432 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,083 technology, and distribution. 433 00:17:35,090 --> 00:17:36,950 It doesn't even happen through work. 434 00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:39,490 Creativity is frankly adjacent to mental illness 435 00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:41,173 and overlaps with it substantially. 436 00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:43,030 A lot of talented people kill themselves 437 00:17:43,050 --> 00:17:44,468 and all of them are miserable. 438 00:17:44,470 --> 00:17:47,050 The real gift is to be ungifted, 439 00:17:47,070 --> 00:17:49,550 and from what I saw in your Green Arrow spec script, 440 00:17:49,570 --> 00:17:51,070 that's the gift you were given. 441 00:17:51,090 --> 00:17:52,690 You couldn't have seen that. 442 00:17:52,710 --> 00:17:54,630 I'm Joseph Campbell. I saw it. 443 00:17:54,650 --> 00:17:57,290 - The villain was a placeholder. - I said I saw it, Jan. 444 00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,330 I didn't say I could get past page five. 445 00:17:59,340 --> 00:18:00,859 Y-Your villains aren't the problem. 446 00:18:00,860 --> 00:18:02,590 The problem is, when you write, 447 00:18:02,610 --> 00:18:03,630 you're a villain. 448 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:06,190 If you want to be a hero, just stop. 449 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,165 You know what? Maybe I will register. 450 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,503 Say it! Tell me I'm the new Mr. Nimbus! 451 00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:23,810 Oh, looks like your writer took a hiatus. 452 00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:24,841 Oh, fuck. 453 00:18:24,850 --> 00:18:26,385 You're less motivated to fight now, 454 00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:29,054 so this is literally punching down, but you've got it coming. 455 00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,470 Please, let me live. 456 00:18:33,490 --> 00:18:35,030 I promise to be cooler. 457 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:39,231 I'll be less inside baseball. Maybe I change my name? Ow! 458 00:18:40,850 --> 00:18:42,484 You failed me. 459 00:18:42,490 --> 00:18:45,404 No, I failed you. 460 00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:50,492 All good things must come to an end. 461 00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:53,370 All bad things too, though, so don't flatter yourself. 462 00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:56,430 Jan, Joseph Campbell says you have to be the one to put him down. 463 00:18:56,450 --> 00:18:58,630 Wait, wait, wait, Joseph Campbell also says 464 00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:01,550 you have to use this brand-new limited edition Rick plush, 465 00:19:01,570 --> 00:19:04,490 available only on rick-plush.biz. 466 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,630 - Supplies are limited. Act now. - He did? 467 00:19:12,490 --> 00:19:13,710 Shhh. 468 00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:21,650 Jesus, that's the last time I buy a toy from a Rick. 469 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:24,109 Ooh, the plushies are obviously well made. 470 00:19:29,500 --> 00:19:31,250 Thanks for getting us back alive, Rick. 471 00:19:31,270 --> 00:19:33,550 Well, I am a master of both worlds, Morty. 472 00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:39,090 Joseph Campbell told me to stop writing. 473 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,339 Because it should be effortless. 474 00:19:40,340 --> 00:19:42,439 And when it happens organically, that's when it's meant to be. 475 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,450 You know, like, um, like me. 476 00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:46,770 I'm a writer, here's a pencil. Writers use pencils. 477 00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:48,349 Okay, so, like, what if, like, a pencil used me? 478 00:19:48,350 --> 00:19:50,310 Like, um... okay! Yeah! 479 00:19:50,330 --> 00:19:52,270 Okay, so it's like a magic pencil 480 00:19:52,290 --> 00:19:53,950 that writes the writer's life... 481 00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:57,490 holy shit, it's a movie about a writer! 482 00:19:57,510 --> 00:19:58,770 I am back! 483 00:19:59,686 --> 00:20:04,680 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 484 00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:36,150 Yeah, I'm Tag-Man! I-I-I-I live in the tag! 485 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:39,050 I-I-I am the tag! I'm Tag-Man! 486 00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:41,728 Tag... Tag of the episode... man! "Did you get any of that?" 487 00:20:41,730 --> 00:20:43,739 When the... yeah, when an episode's over, 488 00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:46,379 look out, because, yaaaah, here comes Tag-Man! 489 00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:49,730 And I'm... I'm crazy! Tag-Man! Yeah! 490 00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:51,800 I'm... I'mma tag your ass! 491 00:20:51,810 --> 00:20:54,490 Tag that ass. Tag-Ass-Man! 492 00:20:54,510 --> 00:20:56,330 I'm an Ass-Man now! 493 00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:57,800 I'm a... I'm a Tag-Man! 494 00:20:57,820 --> 00:20:59,550 Here's what you get. Here's your tag! 495 00:20:59,570 --> 00:21:00,930 Yeah, you want some more? 496 00:21:00,950 --> 00:21:03,370 You want... you want some more tag, you sick piece of shit? 497 00:21:03,390 --> 00:21:05,290 I'm... because I'm Tag-Man! 498 00:21:06,210 --> 00:21:07,670 I miss my wife. 499 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,556 Too bad. This is it! 500 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,758 Tag-Man, yeah! 501 00:21:13,270 --> 00:21:14,761 Did you get any of that?