1 00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:09,870 Oh, my God, I cannot fucking believe this! 2 00:00:09,880 --> 00:00:11,840 Here we fucking go! 3 00:00:11,850 --> 00:00:13,290 Oh! Jeez! 4 00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:16,730 Pardon the interruption. 5 00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:18,630 We are once again in the federal clear. 6 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,960 Rick, what the hell? A-Are you a Turkey Dracula now? 7 00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:22,800 Morty, is that a Pooplickian GamePod? 8 00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:24,470 Actually it's the GamePod XL. 9 00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:26,740 They say it's the most realistic video game console ever. 10 00:00:26,750 --> 00:00:28,680 - I never got you that. - Space Mom did. 11 00:00:28,690 --> 00:00:30,470 She's in for the holiday weekend, remember? 12 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:32,429 Shit, in that case, let's go, let's get out of here... 13 00:00:32,430 --> 00:00:33,889 I heard you smack the glass, Dad. 14 00:00:33,890 --> 00:00:35,289 - If you bail, I'll disown you! - Yeah, 15 00:00:35,290 --> 00:00:36,609 I'd say don't hop through a portal. 16 00:00:36,610 --> 00:00:38,830 But, oh, wait, you can't. 17 00:00:38,850 --> 00:00:41,080 Look at it this way, Morty. Life is a subscription, 18 00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:43,553 and Thanksgiving is your family's yearly charge. 19 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:45,650 Wow, Dad, good job. 20 00:00:45,660 --> 00:00:49,920 Rick, put some pants on. Today has so few rules. 21 00:00:49,930 --> 00:00:51,350 Yes, Patriarch. 22 00:00:52,510 --> 00:00:53,640 Ding ding ding! 23 00:00:53,650 --> 00:00:55,160 I'd like to make a toast. 24 00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:57,760 Today is a day for thanks. 25 00:00:57,780 --> 00:00:59,700 And for family. 26 00:00:59,710 --> 00:01:02,864 And for remembering all of those that have less. 27 00:01:02,870 --> 00:01:04,490 - Okay, pick a scope. - Pick a scope? 28 00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:06,430 Can we please have a normal Thanksgiving? 29 00:01:06,450 --> 00:01:07,949 Well, seems like all the ones I remember. 30 00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:09,090 Good point. 31 00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:12,550 Baby, you... It's a toast. 32 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:13,630 - Sorry! - Sorry! 33 00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:18,320 Anyway, I'm thankful for my wife. 34 00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,214 Beth. The Beth that chose me. 35 00:01:20,220 --> 00:01:22,490 I'm so grateful to you, 36 00:01:22,510 --> 00:01:24,670 and I literally could not live without you. 37 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:25,690 - Aw! - Aw! Aw! 38 00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:27,809 I really mean that. If something were to happen to you, 39 00:01:27,810 --> 00:01:29,869 or if you were to leave me, or be unfaithful, 40 00:01:29,870 --> 00:01:31,330 - I would die. - Mm! Uh... 41 00:01:31,340 --> 00:01:33,250 Literally. Probably by my own hand. 42 00:01:33,270 --> 00:01:34,300 - Eww. - Okay. 43 00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:35,550 I know how I'd do it. 44 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:37,380 Our first blender has an extra long cord 45 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:39,470 and it was manufactured before safety fuses, 46 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:40,950 so I'd draw a warm bath... 47 00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:43,010 And blend some stuff. Good toast, honey. 48 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,410 To thankfulness. 49 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:46,310 To... A-America? 50 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,590 To ending the toast? 51 00:01:47,610 --> 00:01:49,550 To ending the toast! 52 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:52,680 Just to, uh, be clear, I was saying I'd kill myself. 53 00:01:52,690 --> 00:01:54,707 - Jerry. God! - We know! 54 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:26,531 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 55 00:02:27,030 --> 00:02:28,950 Sorry Jerry got all husbandy. 56 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:30,830 Yeah, do not miss that. 57 00:02:30,850 --> 00:02:33,079 So I was thinking we could set you up in Jerry's man cave? 58 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:34,439 Oh, that's okay, I'll sleep in my car. 59 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:36,860 It's got a TARDIS thing going on, bigger on the inside. 60 00:02:36,870 --> 00:02:40,030 Dad calls it hack, but my soaking tub begs to differ. 61 00:02:40,040 --> 00:02:42,630 Hmm, maybe I'll trade you. Ohh! 62 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,173 Agh! My lower back. 63 00:02:44,180 --> 00:02:46,070 Oh, I got this. 64 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:48,210 Ah, Jesus, that was great. 65 00:02:48,230 --> 00:02:49,490 Well, you're me. 66 00:02:50,820 --> 00:02:53,474 I find this is usually the biggest help. 67 00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:58,230 Mmm, oh, I just love... the Venusian stuff. 68 00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:00,790 It's cool, I get insecure trying to pronounce this crap, too, 69 00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:02,480 but I got just the thing for that. 70 00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:03,860 Here. 71 00:03:12,210 --> 00:03:13,240 Um... 72 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:21,100 Okay, shoot that asteroid. Now shoot that one. 73 00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:23,180 Now shoot me in the face. This game's trash. 74 00:03:23,190 --> 00:03:25,339 I didn't want to say anything, but this does seem lame. 75 00:03:25,340 --> 00:03:26,709 Yeah, I thought it was maybe 'cause we've shot 76 00:03:26,710 --> 00:03:27,720 so many real asteroids. 77 00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:29,030 L-Let's look at the menu. 78 00:03:29,050 --> 00:03:31,410 - Oh! T-There's the realism setting. - Oh, cool. 79 00:03:31,430 --> 00:03:33,810 Also stupid. The factory setting is 4? 80 00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:36,750 - What do we want, 10? - No, do 9. I'm kidding. 81 00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,199 - Shut up, Summer. - Yeah, shut up, Summer. 82 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,370 Put 10. 83 00:03:42,190 --> 00:03:43,990 - This is the same. - It's worse. It's... 84 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,769 Oh. Oh. I get it. Okay. It's... It's more real. 85 00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:48,300 The vast majority of space is empty. 86 00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:51,430 What? Who cares? T-Then what am I doing? 87 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:54,118 Looks like you can record a video for your kid in case you die. 88 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,729 Not a bad idea, you're gonna be in space for a while. 89 00:03:57,750 --> 00:04:01,480 May as well. Um, hey, son. Uh... 90 00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:02,670 If you're seeing this, 91 00:04:02,690 --> 00:04:05,671 I... starved to death while looking for an asteroid. 92 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,480 Ugh. This is stupid. 93 00:04:07,490 --> 00:04:09,789 You guys are obviously just trying to convince yourselves it's cool 94 00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:11,030 because you feel lame about it. 95 00:04:11,050 --> 00:04:13,320 Summer you know nothing about gamer culture. 96 00:04:13,330 --> 00:04:14,869 Bro, tell your son you love the shit out of him. 97 00:04:14,870 --> 00:04:15,973 Oh, I'm gonna! 98 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,250 Of course we both can't sleep at the same time. 99 00:04:27,270 --> 00:04:29,370 Yeah, we do share a shitty back. 100 00:04:29,380 --> 00:04:31,740 - Turn around. At least let me... - Yes, please. 101 00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:33,490 Oh, my God. 102 00:04:33,510 --> 00:04:36,510 Okay, I know we're not massage people, but you need this. 103 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,650 See, you act like this badass space cowboy, 104 00:04:38,660 --> 00:04:40,940 but I know you're just a scared little overachiever 105 00:04:40,950 --> 00:04:43,334 that keeps all her OCD right... 106 00:04:43,340 --> 00:04:45,490 - Oh, my God! - Yeah. 107 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:47,850 By the way you better be taking notes... I'm next. 108 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:49,320 It's my back, you dumb bitch. 109 00:04:49,330 --> 00:04:51,030 Nice. 110 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:52,210 What? 111 00:05:00,270 --> 00:05:01,789 Well, I better get back to bed. 112 00:05:01,790 --> 00:05:02,910 Yep. Same. 113 00:05:07,750 --> 00:05:10,486 Oh, so now you're into highly realistic video games? 114 00:05:10,490 --> 00:05:12,680 Maybe I decided real life was too much right now, 115 00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:14,880 or maybe I'm not afraid to change my mind about stuff. 116 00:05:14,890 --> 00:05:18,090 Maybe mental flexibility is stronger than stubbornness. 117 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,690 Nice manip', Sum-Sum. 118 00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:21,500 Okay, I-I'm in the alley behind the library. 119 00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:23,630 - Uptown or downtown? - Shit, there's one uptown, too? 120 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:25,419 It's okay, stay there, I think I'm near the red line. 121 00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:26,890 Is this "Street Fighter"? 122 00:05:26,900 --> 00:05:28,769 "Street Fighter" where you start at the beginning 123 00:05:28,770 --> 00:05:31,150 of each fighter's day and have to find each other to fight. 124 00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:32,230 It's very realistic. 125 00:05:32,250 --> 00:05:33,849 Not even guaranteed a fight will happen. 126 00:05:33,850 --> 00:05:36,580 That meter filling up is us forgetting what made us so mad. 127 00:05:36,590 --> 00:05:39,210 If anyone's interested in a higher level of realism, 128 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,100 I'm booting up the OG... 129 00:05:41,110 --> 00:05:45,850 that's Original Game, called a jigsaw puzzle... in the den. 130 00:05:46,550 --> 00:05:47,560 Hey, gang! 131 00:05:47,570 --> 00:05:48,999 Me and my space self are gonna make a run 132 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,780 to the Gloppy Drop System for ice cream. 133 00:05:50,790 --> 00:05:52,904 - Any flavor requests? - Vanilla! 134 00:05:52,910 --> 00:05:55,030 Why do you guys have to go all the way to deep space 135 00:05:55,050 --> 00:05:56,160 just for ice cream? 136 00:05:56,180 --> 00:05:58,590 Gloppy Dropulites have less taste buds than humans. 137 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,330 Their ice cream is like a hospital bed. 138 00:06:00,340 --> 00:06:02,622 It's designed for you to do less so it does more. 139 00:06:02,630 --> 00:06:04,707 Okay, see ya in a bit. 140 00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:07,270 I'll get started sorting all the obvious sky pieces. 141 00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:08,290 Secret technique. 142 00:06:08,310 --> 00:06:09,429 - Oh, shit, there you are! - Oh, fuck, it's on, bitch! 143 00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:11,219 - I'm gonna eat your ass! - You will die in the street 144 00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:12,715 like a dog! 145 00:06:15,650 --> 00:06:17,136 Stunning. 146 00:06:17,970 --> 00:06:20,450 Thank you. This is incredible. 147 00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:23,080 Eh. Just glad I had something in your size. 148 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:26,450 How far is Gloppy Drop? 149 00:06:26,460 --> 00:06:29,110 And why do I always think I'm wearing a watch? 150 00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:30,700 I actually have a pint of Gloppy Drop 151 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,460 on a little apartment orbiting Earth. 152 00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:33,790 So we have time. 153 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,790 You have your own space station? 154 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,365 We have our own space station. 155 00:06:37,370 --> 00:06:39,790 - We're the same person. - There's differences. 156 00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:43,070 Like, one of us has no idea who she really is. 157 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,640 Wrong. But let's make a deal. 158 00:06:44,650 --> 00:06:46,610 Let's trust ourselves enough to stop wondering 159 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:48,125 who we are when we're together. 160 00:06:48,130 --> 00:06:49,900 We get to say anything to each other. 161 00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,940 Things we'd never say to anyone else, even ourselves. 162 00:06:52,950 --> 00:06:55,049 What don't we say to ourselves? 163 00:06:55,050 --> 00:06:58,511 How about, "Wow, my ass looks good in that space suit"? 164 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:00,634 I mean it. I'm a good-looking woman. 165 00:07:00,635 --> 00:07:02,320 Well, that's nice of you to say. 166 00:07:02,330 --> 00:07:07,687 I also... find myself... quite attractive. 167 00:07:17,390 --> 00:07:19,170 We forgot the ice cream. 168 00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:22,410 I want you back in my guts 169 00:07:22,420 --> 00:07:24,662 like I'm one of your sick little fillies. 170 00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:33,710 Oh, God damn it, Morty! 171 00:07:33,720 --> 00:07:35,250 You can't just take my controller. 172 00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:36,810 Yes, I can! It's mine! 173 00:07:36,830 --> 00:07:39,530 - Ugh. Okay, Sum-Sum, gimme. - Make your own controller, 174 00:07:39,550 --> 00:07:41,209 some of us need all the control we can get. 175 00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:42,670 Ugh, fuck you! 176 00:07:43,740 --> 00:07:46,270 So why are you so suddenly into realistic video games? 177 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:47,290 I already was. 178 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:49,330 Yeah, but now you're into them the way I am. 179 00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:51,380 You mean, like staring at them in a numb trance? 180 00:07:51,390 --> 00:07:53,900 Uh-huh. Not judging, just noticing. 181 00:07:53,910 --> 00:07:56,610 Yeah, y-you tend to notice stuff a little before I do. 182 00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:58,010 But eventually you do notice. 183 00:07:58,030 --> 00:08:00,440 And now we can both not notice together, yes. 184 00:08:00,450 --> 00:08:02,283 Oh, my God... Beth! 185 00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:04,840 I thought you said you got ice cream? 186 00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,809 Yeah, I, uh... It must be in the, uh... 187 00:08:06,810 --> 00:08:08,790 Oh, the car! We left it in the car. 188 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:11,620 Okay, good, because that would have been weird! 189 00:08:11,630 --> 00:08:13,890 I worry things might become more and more noticeable. 190 00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,039 Yeah, and if he kills himself, 191 00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:16,229 we're gonna have to get a new dad. 192 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:17,798 Jesus Christ, Summer! 193 00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:22,350 Hey, Dad. 194 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,210 Um, hmm, what's this? 195 00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,230 Making a controller. 196 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:27,670 This species of bionic space whale has carbon wiring, 197 00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:29,240 great for smooth gameplay. 198 00:08:29,250 --> 00:08:30,770 I'm not killing it, for the record. 199 00:08:30,780 --> 00:08:33,040 I'm just replacing its esophagus with a better one. 200 00:08:33,050 --> 00:08:35,050 For free. I-It should thank me. 201 00:08:35,070 --> 00:08:36,530 And it will, with its mind. 202 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,789 These things are telepathic, Beth. 203 00:08:37,790 --> 00:08:39,070 They talk to you in dreams. 204 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:41,550 Does your replicator thing make ice cream 205 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:43,050 from the Gloppy Drop system? 206 00:08:43,070 --> 00:08:46,000 Why would you want replicated Gloppy Drop ice cream, poser? 207 00:08:46,010 --> 00:08:48,610 Crazy thing. I went with Space Beth to get some, 208 00:08:48,630 --> 00:08:51,630 and we had such a great time we forgot the ice cream! 209 00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:54,260 - Crazy, right? - That's a real question? 210 00:08:54,270 --> 00:08:55,370 M-Maybe? 211 00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:57,170 Come here, hold the pup down. 212 00:08:57,180 --> 00:08:58,850 You're talking about an infinite father. 213 00:08:58,870 --> 00:09:00,840 I've met myself out there infinite times. 214 00:09:00,860 --> 00:09:02,390 Infinite shit happens. 215 00:09:02,410 --> 00:09:04,810 Including, as you put it, forgetting the ice cream. 216 00:09:04,830 --> 00:09:06,830 You've... forgotten the ice cream? 217 00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,490 Drill me for details when I'm drunker. 218 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,970 In the meantime, don't worry about what's crazy. 219 00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,590 You know, as the kids say, you do you. 220 00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:15,010 Oh, thanks. Thank you so much, Dad. 221 00:09:15,030 --> 00:09:16,329 One thing to keep in mind, though. 222 00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:18,179 It's not just your own ice cream you're forgetting. 223 00:09:18,180 --> 00:09:19,190 It's your family's. 224 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,699 If you forget it too much, you start having to keep secrets. 225 00:09:21,700 --> 00:09:23,280 Oh, and you're against secrets? 226 00:09:23,290 --> 00:09:25,260 Against? Hell no. Secrets are great. 227 00:09:25,270 --> 00:09:27,910 For instance, I've had a pint of vanilla Gloppy Drop 228 00:09:27,930 --> 00:09:29,130 in my fridge this whole time. 229 00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:31,250 Take it. I'm just saying, lies pile up. 230 00:09:31,270 --> 00:09:32,370 Like credit card debt. 231 00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:34,250 You retain an advantage by staying liquid. 232 00:09:34,810 --> 00:09:36,130 Gotcha. Well... 233 00:09:36,150 --> 00:09:39,213 I'd call this a simple cash transaction. 234 00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:41,841 Fun and done. 235 00:09:48,670 --> 00:09:50,590 Favorite Culkin. 236 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,989 - Kieran! - Kieran! 237 00:09:51,990 --> 00:09:53,102 Favorite song by Britney. 238 00:09:53,110 --> 00:09:54,129 - "Work Bitch"! - "Work Bitch"! 239 00:09:54,130 --> 00:09:55,146 Favorite hangover cure. 240 00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:56,749 - Hair of the dog with a guilty pleasure - Hair of the dog with a guilty pleasure 241 00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,430 - like "Humans Weekly." - like "Us Weekly." 242 00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:04,370 I told Dad. 243 00:10:04,380 --> 00:10:06,170 I mean, I didn't have to. He knew. 244 00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:09,070 I guess that's one reason you didn't have to tell him. 245 00:10:10,910 --> 00:10:12,070 What'd he say? 246 00:10:12,090 --> 00:10:14,590 We kind of talked in code, I think he said it's fine 247 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,210 until it makes us feel indebted to our lessers. 248 00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:18,550 That sounds like Dad. 249 00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,970 Do we owe... the family an explanation? 250 00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:23,610 Do we have to spend our time together 251 00:10:23,630 --> 00:10:25,070 figuring out how to please others? 252 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,150 I'm married. 253 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,170 We both are, but I'm in our marriage. 254 00:10:29,190 --> 00:10:31,510 It's the defining difference between us. 255 00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:33,990 Well, there's no rule book that says you have to be. 256 00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,070 What's gonna happen? 257 00:10:36,090 --> 00:10:38,700 What is this? Are we in love... 258 00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:40,170 with ourself? 259 00:10:40,190 --> 00:10:41,560 I mean, does that make us the most 260 00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:43,750 or the least healthy woman in the universe? 261 00:10:43,770 --> 00:10:45,905 Anybody ever tell you you're overly analytical? 262 00:10:45,910 --> 00:10:47,890 Which I do love. 263 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:49,350 If that's what you need to call it. 264 00:10:49,370 --> 00:10:51,380 I don't need to call it anything. 265 00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:55,050 I would like to know... its shelf life. 266 00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:57,541 I might know a way to gather that data. 267 00:10:57,550 --> 00:10:58,710 - Motel room! - The Holodeck! 268 00:10:58,730 --> 00:11:00,377 I like yours better. 269 00:11:01,270 --> 00:11:02,990 Hmm... Uh... 270 00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:09,550 Beth! Uh, m-my Beth! 271 00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:12,470 Well, not "my" Beth, but... I finished! 272 00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:13,930 It's done! 273 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:15,610 Kids, do you know where your moms are? 274 00:11:15,630 --> 00:11:17,830 Oh, you're busy with your GamePod. 275 00:11:17,850 --> 00:11:19,900 Don't worry about it, I'll find those two somewhere. 276 00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:24,652 No! No, Dad, um, come play video games with us! 277 00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:27,130 Okay, Dad, here's the infinite menu screen. 278 00:11:27,150 --> 00:11:28,405 Oh, I dunno. 279 00:11:28,410 --> 00:11:30,991 Here, here, I-I'll have the console choose a game! 280 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:33,550 Um, maybe let's skip this one? 281 00:11:33,570 --> 00:11:35,536 Really? Why? Looks fun! 282 00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:39,760 Oh, okay, so we are a woman married to a man, 283 00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:42,930 but having a sexual affair with another woman! 284 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:44,390 Very spicy. 285 00:11:44,410 --> 00:11:46,590 Very spicy, Jer. G-Good job. 286 00:11:46,610 --> 00:11:49,134 Looks pretty single player, kids? 287 00:11:54,900 --> 00:11:56,767 Seriously, you two? 288 00:11:56,770 --> 00:11:59,144 What the hell did you do in my Holodeck? 289 00:11:59,930 --> 00:12:03,070 Holy shit, you... you did a full "San Junipero" in here? 290 00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,740 Oh, my God, Beth, there's masturbating 291 00:12:04,750 --> 00:12:06,650 and then there's masturbating. 292 00:12:06,660 --> 00:12:08,779 - Ew, Dad, stop, I'm sorry! - You'd know, old man. 293 00:12:08,780 --> 00:12:10,770 Argh! Look, this isn't my business, 294 00:12:10,790 --> 00:12:13,480 and by all means, enjoy being sapphic horse girls together. 295 00:12:13,490 --> 00:12:15,190 But you suck at doing it secretly. 296 00:12:15,210 --> 00:12:17,510 - We all know. - Including Jerry? 297 00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:19,890 No, Dad's so in the dark that he's enjoying a video game 298 00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:21,249 about being in an affair right now. 299 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:22,949 If you guys are doing this, you got to tell him! 300 00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,390 Okay, little man, back off. 301 00:12:24,410 --> 00:12:26,490 - Take it easy. They're right. - Right about what, 302 00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:28,330 that we have to be twice as considerate 303 00:12:28,340 --> 00:12:29,591 and twice as repressed 304 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,660 because some dick split us in two? 305 00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:34,888 This is the shit I left. This isn't. This is me. 306 00:12:34,890 --> 00:12:37,150 This is the me that doesn't tell you all to fuck off. 307 00:12:37,170 --> 00:12:39,050 So allow me. Fuck off. 308 00:12:39,070 --> 00:12:41,630 She'll tell her husband what she wants when she feels like it. 309 00:12:41,650 --> 00:12:43,569 And you can deal with it or you can deal with me. 310 00:12:43,570 --> 00:12:46,410 But you should know I have all the Predator weapons. 311 00:12:47,710 --> 00:12:48,769 - Works for me. - That's cool. 312 00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:50,821 - Fair enough. - I guess it's time for ice cream. 313 00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:53,430 Come on, kids, you're inhaling this stuff. 314 00:12:53,450 --> 00:12:54,960 Your Moms went to space. 315 00:12:54,970 --> 00:12:57,536 Did you even thank them for doing it? 316 00:12:58,380 --> 00:13:00,930 Thanks for... doing it, Moms. 317 00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:02,333 Very selfless of you. 318 00:13:02,340 --> 00:13:04,070 Eat your ice cream however you want. 319 00:13:04,090 --> 00:13:05,461 Nothing good lasts forever. 320 00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:13,490 Okay, come on, it's Thanksgiving. 321 00:13:13,510 --> 00:13:16,010 The least we can do is speak English. 322 00:13:16,850 --> 00:13:18,590 Jerry, I had sex with your wife. 323 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:21,690 Or I'm your wife and had sex with the clone you sleep with. 324 00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:23,729 Your pick. We had sex. We loved it. 325 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,275 Beth Sanchez sure is something, huh? 326 00:13:29,350 --> 00:13:30,690 I think I'll ask her to prom. 327 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:33,810 Jerry, for your own sake, stay away from Beth Sanchez. 328 00:13:33,830 --> 00:13:35,090 Worst case, she says "no." 329 00:13:35,110 --> 00:13:37,570 No, Jerry. Worst case she says "yes." 330 00:13:37,590 --> 00:13:39,370 She's too much woman for you. 331 00:13:39,390 --> 00:13:42,110 Yeah, maybe she'd find your simple naiveté endearing, 332 00:13:42,130 --> 00:13:43,230 but she's intense. 333 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:45,209 Sooner or later, she'd tear you apart. 334 00:13:45,210 --> 00:13:49,463 I'd be lucky to be torn apart by Beth Sanchez. 335 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:55,609 - Aah! - What the fuck? 336 00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:58,150 Dad's a bug! Dad rolled into a bug! 337 00:13:58,170 --> 00:14:01,330 Oh, yeah. Sh... Forgot I installed that. 338 00:14:02,780 --> 00:14:05,010 Why does Jerry have a Pill Bug Protocol? 339 00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,410 It's an emotional defense system. 340 00:14:06,430 --> 00:14:07,773 I got drunk with Jerry one night 341 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:09,349 and he said it's what he wanted most in the world. 342 00:14:09,350 --> 00:14:11,527 Don't blame me, I wanted tattoos. 343 00:14:11,530 --> 00:14:12,909 Anyway, he's in perfect health in there 344 00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:14,209 and he can unroll when he chooses to, 345 00:14:14,210 --> 00:14:17,290 but can also stay in metabolic hibernation pretty much indefinitely. 346 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:19,369 It's a cool power to have, like if you have to fly coach 347 00:14:19,370 --> 00:14:21,959 or if Summer asks you what you thought of "Wonder Woman 1984." 348 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:23,760 - How do we undo it? - Only he can. 349 00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:27,230 That's the point. It's total safety. Even I can't reverse it. 350 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,759 If you try to pry him out and hit a nerve, 351 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,290 he'll literally turn into a Shrek. 352 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:32,548 In his own sad way, he's taken control. 353 00:14:32,550 --> 00:14:34,090 This is classic Jerry. 354 00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:36,310 He'd rather be a bug than have a conversation. 355 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,269 Oh, have you heard the way you start conversations? 356 00:14:38,270 --> 00:14:39,790 You ladies discuss responsibility 357 00:14:39,810 --> 00:14:42,474 while I get stoned and play video games with your kids. 358 00:14:51,590 --> 00:14:54,070 - Fuck! More forest! - L-Look around! 359 00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:58,650 Try heading north. 360 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:03,909 - Oh, shit. - Wait, what the fuck? 361 00:15:03,910 --> 00:15:05,950 Um, maybe keep heading north? 362 00:15:11,830 --> 00:15:13,210 - Ew, what the hell? - Oh, God, 363 00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:14,965 w-what happens in the shadows? 364 00:15:14,970 --> 00:15:18,340 Jerry, sweetie, if you can hear me, please unroll. 365 00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:19,690 He doesn't want to. 366 00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:21,847 It's a little late to worry about what he wants. 367 00:15:21,850 --> 00:15:23,630 Jesus, Beth, don't fall for this. 368 00:15:23,650 --> 00:15:25,142 This isn't love, it's a tantrum. 369 00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:27,450 Yeah, but his tantrum is self-destructive. 370 00:15:27,470 --> 00:15:28,950 Yours is destructive. 371 00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:30,730 Maybe that's why I'm the one that loves him. 372 00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:32,570 He worries. He wants to do right. 373 00:15:32,590 --> 00:15:34,430 He's ashamed when he fails. 374 00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:36,490 Aren't those things you love about me? 375 00:15:36,510 --> 00:15:38,830 You want me to be like him? You want me to propose? 376 00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,250 Threaten to kill myself? 377 00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:42,290 No. I love you the way you are. 378 00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:45,719 And I did it forever in a video game. But in life, things go wrong. 379 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:46,729 Things stop working. 380 00:15:46,730 --> 00:15:48,610 I-I like to fix those things, and when I can't, 381 00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:49,730 I'm pretty useless. 382 00:15:49,750 --> 00:15:50,830 Like my husband. 383 00:15:50,850 --> 00:15:53,850 I don't get it. You're the house wife and I'm the space lady, 384 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,990 but you're the one that chewed me up and spit me out. 385 00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:58,190 I don't want to just forget about you. 386 00:15:59,270 --> 00:16:02,130 Me neither. It's a problem. 387 00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:05,098 But we know someone that owes us a solution. 388 00:16:05,670 --> 00:16:07,180 Oh, shit, we're out of the forest. 389 00:16:07,190 --> 00:16:08,649 - We found a clearing. - Go check it out! 390 00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:10,062 Go check out the clearing! 391 00:16:15,010 --> 00:16:17,690 Vampires? Oh, come on! That's not realistic! 392 00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:19,150 Morty, it's obviously set in a world 393 00:16:19,170 --> 00:16:20,889 - where vampires hunt in clearings. - How did you... 394 00:16:20,890 --> 00:16:22,949 I'm working with the same information you are! 395 00:16:22,950 --> 00:16:24,220 - Ow! - No more screen time 396 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:25,910 until your homework's done, Dad. 397 00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:28,670 - What did that mean? - We refuse to care. 398 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,090 Damn. You really came of age this Thanksgiving. 399 00:16:31,110 --> 00:16:32,170 How old are we? 400 00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:34,086 We've had a million Thanksgivings. 401 00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,830 Can I explain how irrational this is? 402 00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:37,870 Asked the guy that cloned his daughter. 403 00:16:37,890 --> 00:16:40,092 - Will I ever live that down? - No. 404 00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,609 You guys are having me "Eternal Sunshine" 405 00:16:41,610 --> 00:16:43,690 all the "Multiplicity" porn scenes from your minds? 406 00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:44,969 - Yep. Basically. - Sounds right. 407 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:46,410 Meanwhile, everyone around you... 408 00:16:46,420 --> 00:16:47,990 your father, your cuckhold husband, 409 00:16:48,010 --> 00:16:51,330 your jaded children... will just happily and silently bear the burden 410 00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:53,399 because it's more practical for them than the truth 411 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,349 and you don't care because it won't be your problem? 412 00:16:55,350 --> 00:16:56,450 Solid repipe, Dad. 413 00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:59,030 It's like he has a lifetime of experience as a selfish ass. 414 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:05,499 When this fails and the two of you fall in love again 415 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,190 and you attack me for taking part in this, 416 00:17:07,210 --> 00:17:09,349 I'm gonna lie and say I tried to talk you out of it for hours. 417 00:17:09,350 --> 00:17:10,590 In truth, I don't care. 418 00:17:10,610 --> 00:17:12,416 - Three, two... - Oh, for God's sakes, 419 00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,670 all of you, grow up. 420 00:17:13,690 --> 00:17:14,909 - Jerry! You unrolled! - What the hell? 421 00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:16,709 Ooh, plot twist, Deus Ex Husbanda. 422 00:17:16,710 --> 00:17:19,381 Oh, don't lobotomize yourselves for my comfort. 423 00:17:19,390 --> 00:17:21,340 I may be a man, but I'm also a baby, 424 00:17:21,365 --> 00:17:24,180 and babies don't take responsibility for other people's suffering. 425 00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,620 I should never have said I'd kill myself if you left me. 426 00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:29,249 It's not true. All I'd do is pack my shit and cry 427 00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:31,269 while I look for a job on Starbucks Wi-Fi. 428 00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:32,770 And that's what I'm gonna do. 429 00:17:32,780 --> 00:17:35,810 So the two of you can get clone lesbian married 430 00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:38,510 by a robot and finger yourselves on the moon 431 00:17:38,530 --> 00:17:41,790 while laughing in Martian French about my weird little dick! 432 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:43,071 Jerry, wait! 433 00:17:48,230 --> 00:17:49,770 Jerry, don't leave angry. 434 00:17:49,790 --> 00:17:52,390 Should I float out on a lotus leaf? 435 00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:53,950 I have to be twice as confident 436 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,050 because my wife cheated on me with herself? 437 00:17:56,070 --> 00:17:57,370 It's not even cheating. 438 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,004 Oh, you here to help? You suck. 439 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:01,010 You don't even know which one is your real wife. 440 00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:03,310 If it's me, have you been cheating with a clone? 441 00:18:03,320 --> 00:18:05,135 I'm not the clone, but she has a point. 442 00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:07,870 Oh, what a provocative conversation it would've been great to have 443 00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:09,380 before the two of you... 444 00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:10,990 and I am counting two... 445 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,650 gave each other unfairly expert orgasms 446 00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:15,395 while mocking my weird little dick! 447 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,629 Jerry, you're the only one who keeps saying "weird" and "little." 448 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:18,750 Well, you've both seen it! 449 00:18:18,770 --> 00:18:19,909 And you've both seen each other, 450 00:18:19,910 --> 00:18:21,610 and now you want to tell me all about it, 451 00:18:21,620 --> 00:18:22,630 but it's a little late. 452 00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:23,910 Oh, my God. 453 00:18:23,930 --> 00:18:25,409 You're not mad that it was about you. 454 00:18:25,410 --> 00:18:26,930 You're mad that it wasn't. 455 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,130 He wanted to permit our love. 456 00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:32,180 Okay, it's not "Handmaid's Tale" to loop in your husband. 457 00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:33,849 I agree, for the record. We made a mistake. 458 00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:36,610 Oh, because we should've noticed ourselves losing control 459 00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:40,310 and gone to Sexmaster Jerry and said, "Oh, pretty please, Jerry, 460 00:18:40,330 --> 00:18:42,881 - can I make out with myself?" - Yes, you may. 461 00:18:43,510 --> 00:18:47,010 Yeah, see. Not so hot when it's aboveboard, home-wreckers. 462 00:18:47,020 --> 00:18:48,810 Oh, so we won't enjoy this? 463 00:18:48,830 --> 00:18:50,550 Well, hold on, hold on, this is weird. 464 00:18:50,570 --> 00:18:51,973 Weird and permitted. 465 00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:54,290 - Wait, you like this? - Who cares what he likes. 466 00:18:54,310 --> 00:18:56,010 - I do. - I might like it. 467 00:18:56,020 --> 00:18:57,896 And if she likes it, I permit it. 468 00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:00,110 - You little pervert. - You like a little pervert. 469 00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:02,230 I like humiliating a little pervert. 470 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:03,970 I approve. Carry on. 471 00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:06,400 I'm freaked out by how hot this is. 472 00:19:06,410 --> 00:19:08,170 Am I permitted to do this? 473 00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,700 Until further notice. 474 00:19:09,710 --> 00:19:11,830 - I love it. - Then it's permitted from now on. 475 00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,910 Oh, because you like whatever she likes. 476 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:15,480 Because you're a worm. 477 00:19:15,490 --> 00:19:17,080 I will allow that assessment. 478 00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:18,930 - Pass the salt? - I don't care what you allow. 479 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,059 - Damn it! - What do you allow? 480 00:19:20,060 --> 00:19:21,100 I allow this. 481 00:19:21,110 --> 00:19:22,409 Well, then it's required. 482 00:19:22,410 --> 00:19:23,959 I approve the requirement. 483 00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,570 - You get over there. - Good idea. 484 00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:27,130 Oh, wow. Okay. 485 00:19:27,150 --> 00:19:28,760 - Uh, Honey? - I'm fine if you are. 486 00:19:28,780 --> 00:19:32,430 - You're never fine, shut up. - Okay, but... Whoa! Okay. 487 00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:35,990 - This is not how I pictured this, but... - I have zero complaints so far. 488 00:19:36,010 --> 00:19:37,650 Because I know what you want. 489 00:19:37,670 --> 00:19:39,270 I do not disagree with that. 490 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,130 Can I make a pitch? What if we... 491 00:19:41,150 --> 00:19:42,379 Are you serious? 492 00:19:42,380 --> 00:19:44,210 Hey, is... is this making fun of me? 493 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,370 - Well, is that bad? - I'll allow it. 494 00:19:50,030 --> 00:19:51,749 Jesus Christ, you need to fix the portal gun, Rick! 495 00:19:51,750 --> 00:19:53,880 Morty, you asking makes me want to do it less. 496 00:19:53,890 --> 00:19:55,180 Okay, uh, Thanksgiving! 497 00:19:55,190 --> 00:19:56,950 L-L-Let's talk about Thanksgiving! 498 00:19:56,970 --> 00:19:59,790 Who's thankful for what? Go, Summer, y-you first. 499 00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:03,890 Um, I guess I'm thankful, for like, water? 500 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,830 Perfect! Wonderful! Morty, w-what about you? 501 00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:08,330 F-F-Fucking... Are you fucking kidding me? 502 00:20:08,340 --> 00:20:10,730 Why? Why? Discovery Channel! 503 00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:12,630 Discovery Channel, why? 504 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,210 Okay. Just eat your food. 505 00:20:14,230 --> 00:20:15,930 Ea-Ea... Everyone eat the food. 506 00:20:15,950 --> 00:20:18,710 Sorry, I'm... Is this? Ooh! 507 00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:20,210 Well, bye, kids! 508 00:20:20,220 --> 00:20:22,522 I'll keep an eye out for my grandkid in space. 509 00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:25,480 Your what? Oh, right. "Naruto." 510 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:27,610 Thanks for visiting, Space Beth. 511 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:35,820 Well, seems like we all learned a little lesson this weekend! 512 00:20:35,830 --> 00:20:37,390 At least, I know I did. 513 00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,498 Me, too, Jerry. Me, too. 514 00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:57,250 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 515 00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:25,640 Hello there, Jerry! How can I help you today? 516 00:21:25,650 --> 00:21:28,940 Howdy! Yeah, just, uh... just here to hang! 517 00:21:28,950 --> 00:21:30,610 Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie. 518 00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:32,410 You can't come here by yourself. 519 00:21:32,420 --> 00:21:34,380 Why not? It's just me in there! 520 00:21:34,390 --> 00:21:36,980 Well, not that this is something you'd do, 521 00:21:36,990 --> 00:21:39,320 but sometimes we have Jerries come here 522 00:21:39,330 --> 00:21:41,510 and try to touch other Jerries. 523 00:21:41,530 --> 00:21:43,820 Oh, no, that's... that's not good. 524 00:21:43,830 --> 00:21:45,897 Uh, well, see you later! 525 00:21:52,390 --> 00:21:53,610 Okay. Thank you.