1 00:00:10,821 --> 00:00:11,947 Oh, shit, I almost parked. 2 00:00:12,072 --> 00:00:14,199 Hey, Morty, hold on, wat-watch this. 3 00:00:21,665 --> 00:00:22,791 Uh-huh. 4 00:00:22,916 --> 00:00:24,042 Well, I thought it was cool. 5 00:00:24,167 --> 00:00:25,586 So. We should be in and out. 6 00:00:25,711 --> 00:00:27,272 Simple exchange, not even really an adventure. 7 00:00:27,296 --> 00:00:29,214 And if anything goes wrong... Which it won't... 8 00:00:29,339 --> 00:00:31,008 Jump into the same vat of acid Ijump into. 9 00:00:31,133 --> 00:00:32,634 Okay. Wait... Wait, what? 10 00:00:32,759 --> 00:00:34,239 - Wha-What vat of acid? - What, Morty! 11 00:00:34,303 --> 00:00:35,470 Close the door. 12 00:00:35,596 --> 00:00:37,139 I pre-scouted this location 13 00:00:37,264 --> 00:00:38,783 and placed a vat of fake acid amongst the real ones. 14 00:00:38,807 --> 00:00:40,100 It's got air hoses 15 00:00:40,225 --> 00:00:41,578 and a compartment of bones at the bottom. 16 00:00:41,602 --> 00:00:43,228 If things go wrong, which they won't, 17 00:00:43,353 --> 00:00:44,813 we jump into the vat of acid, 18 00:00:44,938 --> 00:00:46,332 and I'll release the bones, they'll float up... 19 00:00:46,356 --> 00:00:47,858 What is this face you're making? 20 00:00:47,983 --> 00:00:49,568 Aren't you an inventor? 21 00:00:49,693 --> 00:00:51,546 Yeah, what part of a fake acid vat with built-in air supply 22 00:00:51,570 --> 00:00:53,864 and quick-release bones isn't inventive enough for you, 23 00:00:53,989 --> 00:00:56,033 and when did my job become pitching you ideas? 24 00:00:56,158 --> 00:00:58,035 Alright! Let's just do this. 25 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,388 - I have English homework. - You're still learning English? 26 00:01:00,412 --> 00:01:02,039 That's the language you speak. 27 00:01:02,164 --> 00:01:04,041 How dumb are you? 28 00:01:07,461 --> 00:01:09,463 Interesting choice of meeting place, Rick. 29 00:01:09,588 --> 00:01:11,256 You like it? My grandson had notes. 30 00:01:11,381 --> 00:01:13,383 - Come on. - Show him the crystals, Morty. 31 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,432 I'll make lots of money with these. 32 00:01:20,557 --> 00:01:21,917 I'll make lots of those with these. 33 00:01:21,975 --> 00:01:23,578 - Well. Those are fake. - Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. 34 00:01:23,602 --> 00:01:24,746 - Come on. - You gotta be kidding me. 35 00:01:24,770 --> 00:01:25,854 Seriously? 36 00:01:25,979 --> 00:01:27,379 You brought fake crystals and a gun? 37 00:01:27,481 --> 00:01:29,149 Beats real crystals and no gun. 38 00:01:29,274 --> 00:01:32,194 Okay, but does anything beat fake crystals and a fake arm? 39 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:34,112 Whoa, do you know who I am? 40 00:01:34,237 --> 00:01:36,239 Even if you kill me, you're a dead man. 41 00:01:36,365 --> 00:01:37,491 Are you serious? 42 00:01:37,616 --> 00:01:38,909 Morty, he's right. We're screwed. 43 00:01:39,034 --> 00:01:40,661 Let's just end it. Quick death, come on. 44 00:01:40,786 --> 00:01:43,830 Aw, man. Oh! 45 00:01:43,955 --> 00:01:45,415 Eh! 46 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:47,918 Holy shit, what the fuck? 47 00:01:55,425 --> 00:01:56,718 Holy shit. 48 00:01:56,843 --> 00:01:58,470 What kind of psycho...? 49 00:01:58,595 --> 00:02:00,180 His own grandson? 50 00:02:01,598 --> 00:02:03,308 Guess he took your threat pretty serious. 51 00:02:03,433 --> 00:02:04,713 "SCHLARBO". Yeah, but it just... 52 00:02:04,810 --> 00:02:06,311 doesn't make any sense. 53 00:02:06,436 --> 00:02:08,271 Well, he was a scientist. 54 00:02:08,397 --> 00:02:09,940 Maybe he knew more about acid, 55 00:02:10,065 --> 00:02:12,526 maybe it's like the most painless way to go. 56 00:02:12,651 --> 00:02:14,736 How could that have been painless? 57 00:02:14,861 --> 00:02:17,364 You saw that pause before the bones floated up, 58 00:02:17,489 --> 00:02:20,325 that had to be five seconds of unparalleled torture. 59 00:02:20,450 --> 00:02:22,619 I... I can't get my head around it. 60 00:02:22,744 --> 00:02:26,123 I-I thought I'd seen this galaxy at its darkest. 61 00:02:26,248 --> 00:02:29,334 This is... This is gonna take a while to feel normal. 62 00:02:29,459 --> 00:02:30,961 We're pretty good listeners, boss. 63 00:02:31,086 --> 00:02:32,806 Drinks are on us if you want to talk it out. 64 00:02:32,879 --> 00:02:34,172 Thanks, but... 65 00:02:34,297 --> 00:02:36,717 what happened, it happened here. 66 00:02:36,842 --> 00:02:38,069 I don't want to lose the moment. 67 00:02:38,093 --> 00:02:39,469 Take your time, boss. 68 00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:40,905 We'll stay here as long as you want. 69 00:02:40,929 --> 00:02:43,265 Absolutely. I got nowhere to be. 70 00:03:19,259 --> 00:03:21,011 And then little Tommy flimflam's 71 00:03:21,136 --> 00:03:22,971 running down the Hyperloop. 72 00:03:23,096 --> 00:03:25,766 His ass is on fire from Xenon fluid, 73 00:03:25,891 --> 00:03:28,769 but his AI hologram is fuckin' his own pee hole. 74 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:32,647 - Great story, boss. - Really detailed. 75 00:03:32,773 --> 00:03:34,775 Yeah, well, I got a million of 'em. 76 00:03:34,900 --> 00:03:36,777 Alright. 77 00:03:36,902 --> 00:03:38,129 I think I'm ready to deal with the world now. 78 00:03:38,153 --> 00:03:39,279 Let's get out of here. 79 00:03:39,404 --> 00:03:40,697 Should we drop our buddy in here 80 00:03:40,822 --> 00:03:41,822 before we go? 81 00:03:41,865 --> 00:03:43,158 Yeah, probably a good idea. 82 00:03:43,283 --> 00:03:44,993 Should we use a different vat? 83 00:03:45,118 --> 00:03:47,204 Does acid lose its acid power the more it dissolves? 84 00:03:47,329 --> 00:03:48,663 What am I, an acidologist? 85 00:03:48,789 --> 00:03:50,207 Here, grab that ratlike creature, 86 00:03:50,332 --> 00:03:53,418 we'll do a little test. 87 00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:55,062 Look, if you're going to test the damn acid, 88 00:03:55,086 --> 00:03:56,379 don't use a rat, 89 00:03:56,505 --> 00:03:57,839 take that ladle, grab a spoonful, 90 00:03:57,964 --> 00:03:59,966 and put it in the analyzer. 91 00:04:02,636 --> 00:04:04,471 Oh! 92 00:04:04,596 --> 00:04:08,183 Okay, I'd say that's pretty acidy. Drop him in. 93 00:04:09,518 --> 00:04:11,061 What are you doing? 94 00:04:11,186 --> 00:04:12,437 - You said... - Not the rat! 95 00:04:12,562 --> 00:04:13,814 The guy! 96 00:04:13,939 --> 00:04:15,816 Ooh! Marone! 97 00:04:15,941 --> 00:04:17,859 Look at the size of the bones on that rat! 98 00:04:17,984 --> 00:04:19,277 Oh! 99 00:04:19,402 --> 00:04:20,946 How many sets of bones this rat got? 100 00:04:21,071 --> 00:04:22,781 And look how the smaller ones are shaped! 101 00:04:22,906 --> 00:04:24,449 They're like little cartoon bones, 102 00:04:24,574 --> 00:04:26,618 like if you drew a bone in art class! 103 00:04:26,743 --> 00:04:27,911 Alright, that tears it. 104 00:04:28,036 --> 00:04:29,454 I'm canceling the rest of my night 105 00:04:29,579 --> 00:04:30,997 and calling a bone scientist. 106 00:04:31,122 --> 00:04:32,391 We're getting to the bottom of this... 107 00:04:32,415 --> 00:04:34,376 Jesus fucking Christ, enough already! 108 00:04:34,501 --> 00:04:35,794 - Hey! - Whoa! 109 00:04:53,228 --> 00:04:55,814 Can we go? 110 00:04:58,233 --> 00:04:59,484 The fuck is wrong with you? 111 00:04:59,609 --> 00:05:00,944 Just admit it was a shitty idea! 112 00:05:01,069 --> 00:05:02,279 Having a grandson? 113 00:05:02,404 --> 00:05:03,905 A vat of fake acid! 114 00:05:04,030 --> 00:05:05,282 Are you dying of dementia? 115 00:05:05,407 --> 00:05:06,634 How are you talking to me like this? 116 00:05:06,658 --> 00:05:07,993 Wh-When did you get so cocky? 117 00:05:08,118 --> 00:05:09,494 Tonight! Tonight, Rick! 118 00:05:09,619 --> 00:05:10,829 The night I saw you fail! 119 00:05:10,954 --> 00:05:12,714 - Because you ruined it! - It was pre-ruined! 120 00:05:12,831 --> 00:05:14,499 Oh, was it worse than when I was a pickle? 121 00:05:14,624 --> 00:05:16,394 Oh-oh-oh that's right, you weren't there for that. 122 00:05:16,418 --> 00:05:17,878 Turned out kind of cool. 123 00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:19,605 - Maybe there's a connection there. - Excuse me? 124 00:05:19,629 --> 00:05:21,509 What's that cool thing you did without me again? 125 00:05:21,631 --> 00:05:22,757 The awesome thing? 126 00:05:22,883 --> 00:05:24,718 Lhlguess you wanted a dragon? 127 00:05:24,843 --> 00:05:26,136 Mwah. Unforgettable. 128 00:05:26,261 --> 00:05:27,429 God, fuck you. 129 00:05:27,554 --> 00:05:28,990 Timely, too, you really got in on that. 130 00:05:29,014 --> 00:05:30,533 "Game of Thrones" fever right at the peak. 131 00:05:30,557 --> 00:05:32,451 You trying as hard as you can to hurt me right now 132 00:05:32,475 --> 00:05:33,768 proves my point. 133 00:05:33,894 --> 00:05:35,414 I'll let you know when you have a point 134 00:05:35,478 --> 00:05:37,522 and the world will know when I try to hurt you. 135 00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:40,150 Big man, big genius. Big lonely drunk. 136 00:05:40,275 --> 00:05:42,319 Hey, save some of these atomic-age beatnik zingers 137 00:05:42,444 --> 00:05:44,237 for your English homework, Bukowski. 138 00:05:46,281 --> 00:05:48,116 There's no such thing as a bad idea, Morty. 139 00:05:48,241 --> 00:05:50,076 It's about execution. 140 00:05:52,329 --> 00:05:53,580 No such thing as a bad idea? 141 00:05:53,705 --> 00:05:55,332 Except all of mine, right? 142 00:05:55,457 --> 00:05:57,334 Morty, wanting a dragon isn't an idea. 143 00:05:57,459 --> 00:05:58,668 I'm not talking about that! 144 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,754 I'm constantly pitching you ideas, Rick, 145 00:06:00,879 --> 00:06:02,440 and you act like they're not even worth thinking about! 146 00:06:02,464 --> 00:06:03,882 What, the helicopter lawn chair? 147 00:06:04,007 --> 00:06:05,425 That's just something you saw on TV. 148 00:06:05,550 --> 00:06:08,011 What about my video-game-style place-saving device? 149 00:06:08,136 --> 00:06:11,348 Oh, my God, here we go. 150 00:06:11,473 --> 00:06:13,558 It's a good idea, Rick! A device that lets you... 151 00:06:13,683 --> 00:06:15,077 Save your place like in a video game 152 00:06:15,101 --> 00:06:16,662 but in real life so that you can try stuff 153 00:06:16,686 --> 00:06:18,080 and then go back to your save point, 154 00:06:18,104 --> 00:06:19,773 yes, Morty, I saw it on "Futurama." 155 00:06:19,898 --> 00:06:21,834 Oh, so you don't do anything unless it's original? 156 00:06:21,858 --> 00:06:23,401 I don't do time travel. 157 00:06:23,526 --> 00:06:25,087 It's not time travel, it's saving a place in time... 158 00:06:25,111 --> 00:06:27,197 Oh, my God, is this what you think I do? 159 00:06:27,322 --> 00:06:29,402 This is where the heavy lifting happens in your mind? 160 00:06:29,491 --> 00:06:31,010 Do you have any idea how much fucking work 161 00:06:31,034 --> 00:06:32,470 would have to go into a machine that... 162 00:06:32,494 --> 00:06:34,245 Ah-ha! You can't do it! 163 00:06:34,371 --> 00:06:36,790 I can do anything, Morty. 164 00:06:36,915 --> 00:06:38,708 Your idea is not worth doing. 165 00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:40,251 You can't do it. 166 00:06:40,377 --> 00:06:42,313 Before what you're trying to do was called "negging," 167 00:06:42,337 --> 00:06:44,005 it was called "reverse psychology," 168 00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:46,424 and incels didn't invent it, Bugs Bunny did. 169 00:06:46,549 --> 00:06:49,135 - You can't do it. - There is nothing I cannot do. 170 00:06:49,260 --> 00:06:50,279 A place-saving video-game thing! 171 00:06:50,303 --> 00:06:51,304 You're a piece of shit! 172 00:06:51,429 --> 00:06:52,909 - Just say you can't do it! - I won't! 173 00:06:53,014 --> 00:06:54,224 You won't say you can't? 174 00:06:54,349 --> 00:06:55,600 - Fuck you, Morty! - Fuck you! 175 00:06:55,725 --> 00:06:57,811 FUCK you! 176 00:06:57,936 --> 00:06:59,521 Son of a bitch. 177 00:07:03,525 --> 00:07:05,652 - So are you gonna... - Yes, I'm gonna fucking do it! 178 00:07:07,696 --> 00:07:08,947 Rick, it's 3:00 a.m. 179 00:07:09,072 --> 00:07:10,949 Wh-Wh-What's going on? W-Why'd you call me? 180 00:07:11,074 --> 00:07:12,784 You were right, Morty. 181 00:07:12,909 --> 00:07:14,327 I failed. I can't make it. 182 00:07:14,452 --> 00:07:15,996 And honestly, I'm pretty ashamed. 183 00:07:16,121 --> 00:07:17,890 That might be why I've been so aggressive and unfair 184 00:07:17,914 --> 00:07:19,165 about rejecting your ideas. 185 00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:21,167 - Rick... - A fake acid vat, Morty? 186 00:07:21,292 --> 00:07:23,169 Maybe I've lost it. Maybe I never had it. 187 00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:25,064 Hey. C'mon. Y-You know I didn't mean it that way. 188 00:07:25,088 --> 00:07:27,191 I just think we need to find better ways to communicate. 189 00:07:27,215 --> 00:07:28,883 I'm sorry. I just... I lash out sometimes. 190 00:07:29,009 --> 00:07:31,261 I-I-I don't know why I do that! I'm so ashamed of myself. 191 00:07:31,386 --> 00:07:32,613 Hearing you talk about the vat... 192 00:07:32,637 --> 00:07:34,097 it really opened my eyes. 193 00:07:34,222 --> 00:07:35,449 Like what the fuck am I even doing? 194 00:07:35,473 --> 00:07:36,701 Hey. Hey. I don't like hearing this talk. 195 00:07:36,725 --> 00:07:37,892 You're a great inventor. 196 00:07:38,018 --> 00:07:39,495 We just got a couple things to work on. 197 00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:41,239 Let's start with inventing a little honesty. 198 00:07:41,312 --> 00:07:42,312 Sound good? 199 00:07:42,355 --> 00:07:43,606 Thank you, Morty. Sounds good. 200 00:07:43,732 --> 00:07:45,084 - Or maybe I'll just kill you. - What? 201 00:07:45,108 --> 00:07:46,943 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Rick... 202 00:07:49,946 --> 00:07:52,198 - Because I fucking did it! - Oh-ho-ho! 203 00:07:52,323 --> 00:07:53,742 - Booya! - Holy shit! 204 00:07:53,867 --> 00:07:54,993 You did it! You did it! 205 00:07:55,118 --> 00:07:55,994 I did it, you little son of a bitch! 206 00:07:56,119 --> 00:07:57,245 How did you... 207 00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:58,639 Morty, do you want me to explain, 208 00:07:58,663 --> 00:08:00,141 - or you wanna go have some fun? - I wanna have some fun! 209 00:08:00,165 --> 00:08:01,416 Oh, my God. 210 00:08:01,541 --> 00:08:03,209 Rick, this is... This is... thank you! 211 00:08:03,334 --> 00:08:04,614 You can thank me later. Go nuts. 212 00:08:04,711 --> 00:08:05,837 Best grandpa ever! 213 00:08:05,962 --> 00:08:07,464 That's all I ever wanted to hear. 214 00:08:09,591 --> 00:08:11,176 Alright, class, 215 00:08:11,301 --> 00:08:12,945 I know I've been absent for most of this school year. 216 00:08:12,969 --> 00:08:14,809 I'll be honest with you... During spring break, 217 00:08:14,846 --> 00:08:16,556 lafiended a renaissance faire 218 00:08:16,681 --> 00:08:19,809 and fell in love with a buxom hand-axe juggler half my age. 219 00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,686 I overplayed my interest in her lifestyle 220 00:08:21,811 --> 00:08:23,021 just to get closer to her, 221 00:08:23,146 --> 00:08:24,814 traveling the country with her troupe, 222 00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:27,567 and I am embarrassed to say I am now an expert blacksmith 223 00:08:27,692 --> 00:08:29,819 with several STDs and a broken heart. 224 00:08:29,944 --> 00:08:31,446 I beseech your nasty little asses 225 00:08:31,571 --> 00:08:33,239 to speak on the matter no further. 226 00:08:33,364 --> 00:08:35,825 Now that that's out of the way, who wants to do some math? 227 00:08:35,950 --> 00:08:37,994 - I'll do it. - A bold move, Morty Smith. 228 00:08:38,119 --> 00:08:39,287 But can you deliver? 229 00:08:39,412 --> 00:08:40,872 Oh, I've got something to deliver. 230 00:08:40,997 --> 00:08:42,999 Ahh! Oh, God. 231 00:08:43,124 --> 00:08:44,334 What the hell! 232 00:08:44,459 --> 00:08:46,086 Aw, goddamnit, this is traumatizing. 233 00:08:46,211 --> 00:08:48,213 Oh, my God, what's wrong with your dick? 234 00:08:48,338 --> 00:08:50,298 - Not cool. - I'm allergic to sheepskin! 235 00:08:50,423 --> 00:08:52,801 Bold move, Morty Smith. But can you deliver? 236 00:08:52,926 --> 00:08:54,427 Holy shit. I can do anything. 237 00:08:54,552 --> 00:08:56,471 Yes, with math, anything is possible. 238 00:08:56,596 --> 00:08:58,240 Except a long-term relationship with a woman 239 00:08:58,264 --> 00:09:00,767 that calls you a warlock for using a phone. 240 00:09:03,770 --> 00:09:05,522 Hi, uh, hey, Jessica. 241 00:09:05,647 --> 00:09:07,565 Oh. Hey, Morty. 242 00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:11,653 Hey... Jessica, right? 243 00:09:11,778 --> 00:09:13,947 Um. Yeah. Hi. Sorry. 244 00:09:14,072 --> 00:09:15,240 I thought you knew my name 245 00:09:15,365 --> 00:09:16,759 because we've interacted so many times, 246 00:09:16,783 --> 00:09:18,743 but maybe I was just being stupid. 247 00:09:18,868 --> 00:09:21,079 Sorry. Hi. I-I'm Jessica. That's me. 248 00:09:21,204 --> 00:09:22,330 Cool. See you around. 249 00:09:22,455 --> 00:09:23,873 Jessica. Yeah. I hope I see you. 250 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,875 - Around. - Guess we'll see. 251 00:09:27,710 --> 00:09:29,254 I think I'm gonna like this thing. 252 00:10:10,003 --> 00:10:11,921 Oh shit! Suicide by cop! 253 00:10:12,046 --> 00:10:13,506 I love these! 254 00:10:18,178 --> 00:10:19,721 You're living too fast, Morty. 255 00:10:19,846 --> 00:10:21,723 I don't pay for your friendship, Heroin Keith. 256 00:10:21,848 --> 00:10:23,224 Damn. 257 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:00,793 Oh, hi, Jessica. 258 00:15:00,918 --> 00:15:02,271 Hey, I'm sorry I brushed you off the other day. 259 00:15:02,295 --> 00:15:03,754 I was just trying to be cool... 260 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,357 Oh, I don't even know what you're talking about. 261 00:15:05,381 --> 00:15:07,216 But... you seem different. 262 00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:08,621 Like you finally found yourself. 263 00:15:08,718 --> 00:15:10,219 Yeah. I... I guess I have. 264 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:12,680 That's good to hear. I like who you found. 265 00:15:12,805 --> 00:15:14,599 Yeah. Yeah, I do, too. 266 00:15:14,724 --> 00:15:16,934 Looking forward to seeing more. 267 00:15:17,059 --> 00:15:18,227 I'll see you tomorrow, Morty. 268 00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,605 Yeah. Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow. 269 00:15:26,152 --> 00:15:27,361 How's it going? 270 00:15:27,487 --> 00:15:28,863 Y'know, it was fun, Rick. Real fun. 271 00:15:28,988 --> 00:15:30,698 Y'know I-I-I definitely sowed those oats. 272 00:15:30,823 --> 00:15:32,033 But I think you invented 273 00:15:32,158 --> 00:15:33,993 a little lesson for me along the way. 274 00:15:34,118 --> 00:15:35,554 Living without consequences is great, 275 00:15:35,578 --> 00:15:36,829 but then I started wondering... 276 00:15:36,954 --> 00:15:38,206 what am I living for? 277 00:15:38,331 --> 00:15:39,790 What am I building? 278 00:15:39,916 --> 00:15:41,643 If I'm always looking back, I'm never looking ahead. 279 00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:42,919 And then it hit me. 280 00:15:43,044 --> 00:15:45,213 We are who we are because of consequences. 281 00:15:45,338 --> 00:15:47,465 You can't live without consequences, y'know? 282 00:15:47,590 --> 00:15:48,758 You feel me? 283 00:15:48,883 --> 00:15:51,052 Wow. 284 00:15:51,177 --> 00:15:53,804 That's a beautiful thought, Morty, but, uh, no. 285 00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:55,556 There were definitely consequences. 286 00:15:55,681 --> 00:15:56,992 What're-What-What are you talking about? 287 00:15:57,016 --> 00:15:58,851 I mean. You did everything you did. 288 00:15:58,976 --> 00:16:00,144 It all happened. 289 00:16:00,269 --> 00:16:01,580 No. But the... the respawn button. 290 00:16:01,604 --> 00:16:03,648 - The... The do-over. - It's not a do-over. 291 00:16:03,773 --> 00:16:05,566 You just did it. Over and over. 292 00:16:05,691 --> 00:16:07,276 What are you saying? W-What did you do? 293 00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:09,463 I think it's more appropriate to ask what did you do? 294 00:16:09,487 --> 00:16:11,215 You see, Morty, you weren't saving your place 295 00:16:11,239 --> 00:16:12,448 and going back. 296 00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:14,033 I don't respect time travel. 297 00:16:14,158 --> 00:16:16,702 If "Ant Man and the Wasp" can do it, I'm not interested. 298 00:16:16,827 --> 00:16:18,079 It wasn't so much a do-over 299 00:16:18,204 --> 00:16:19,473 as it was isolating a moment in time, 300 00:16:19,497 --> 00:16:20,873 splitting your probable selves, 301 00:16:20,998 --> 00:16:22,768 and shunting you into to into a near-duplicate, 302 00:16:22,792 --> 00:16:25,294 equally probable reality, transporting you into it 303 00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,129 at the moment of parallel determination. 304 00:16:27,255 --> 00:16:29,507 Pretty nifty. Time crystals are a bitch and a half, 305 00:16:29,632 --> 00:16:32,385 but the only real hitch is that there was already a you 306 00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:33,678 in each probable dimension. 307 00:16:33,803 --> 00:16:35,429 So we had to solve for that. 308 00:16:40,851 --> 00:16:42,144 That's right, you little bitch! 309 00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:44,110 It's "The Prestige"! You "Prestige'd" yourself! 310 00:16:44,230 --> 00:16:46,190 - Rick, how many did I kill? - You tell me, Morty. 311 00:16:46,274 --> 00:16:48,401 Every time you reset to smell Jessica's hair, 312 00:16:48,526 --> 00:16:50,778 every time you relived a satisfying fart, 313 00:16:50,903 --> 00:16:52,543 that's how many Mortys you've incinerated, 314 00:16:52,655 --> 00:16:53,948 you greedy little junkie. 315 00:16:54,073 --> 00:16:56,033 Oh, God... Even those times when I... 316 00:16:56,158 --> 00:16:57,910 Especially those times. 317 00:16:58,035 --> 00:16:59,787 It's over, Morty. Feel this. 318 00:16:59,912 --> 00:17:01,414 Take this in. This is God. 319 00:17:01,539 --> 00:17:03,332 Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh... Why would you do this? 320 00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:05,751 My hands are clean, Morty. I gave you a choice. 321 00:17:05,876 --> 00:17:07,253 You could listen to me explain, 322 00:17:07,378 --> 00:17:09,714 in great scientific detail, how it all works... 323 00:17:09,839 --> 00:17:10,965 or you could have fun. 324 00:17:11,090 --> 00:17:12,216 Did you have fun, Morty? 325 00:17:12,341 --> 00:17:13,884 Is this because of the vat? 326 00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:15,553 - No. - I'm sorry. 327 00:17:15,678 --> 00:17:17,114 I'm afraid it's too late for that, Morty. 328 00:17:17,138 --> 00:17:19,307 What's done is done, but it can end. 329 00:17:19,432 --> 00:17:21,350 The original split is still timestamped. 330 00:17:21,475 --> 00:17:23,644 I can make it so those Mortys never existed at all, 331 00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:24,929 make them purely theoretical. 332 00:17:25,021 --> 00:17:26,272 Oh, God. What do I do? 333 00:17:26,397 --> 00:17:27,877 I think it's clear you've done enough. 334 00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:30,234 Tell me how, Rick! Tell me how I save those Mortys! 335 00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:31,587 You live with the consequences. 336 00:17:31,611 --> 00:17:32,891 Those things happened somewhere, 337 00:17:32,945 --> 00:17:34,739 but you can merge the probable realities 338 00:17:34,864 --> 00:17:36,449 so that only one Morty did them. 339 00:17:36,574 --> 00:17:37,700 Just do it. 340 00:17:37,825 --> 00:17:39,201 Alright, lemme just sync these up 341 00:17:39,327 --> 00:17:40,679 and get you back to your dimension. 342 00:17:40,703 --> 00:17:42,538 Wait, so... so you're not even my Rick? 343 00:17:42,663 --> 00:17:44,182 Then... Then why do you know about the vat? 344 00:17:44,206 --> 00:17:45,374 Every Rick has a vat! 345 00:17:55,843 --> 00:17:57,094 Well, Morty, I'd say 346 00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:59,388 we've invented a little honesty today. 347 00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:00,949 - How about you? - I don't deserve this. 348 00:18:00,973 --> 00:18:02,099 I was just having fun. 349 00:18:02,224 --> 00:18:03,392 So was Jeffrey Dahmer. 350 00:18:03,517 --> 00:18:05,394 Speaking of, time to pay the piper. 351 00:18:07,396 --> 00:18:09,982 Morty Smith. 352 00:18:10,107 --> 00:18:12,401 Come out with your hands up, you sick fuck. 353 00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:14,195 We're also fine with just shooting you 354 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,946 if you wanna suicide by cop. 355 00:18:16,072 --> 00:18:17,198 What? What is this? 356 00:18:17,323 --> 00:18:18,658 Wow. Looks like a SWAT Team, 357 00:18:18,783 --> 00:18:20,076 some drug dealers, 358 00:18:20,201 --> 00:18:22,995 some grassroots MeToo activists, the ACLU... 359 00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,747 Jesus, Morty, the AARP? 360 00:18:24,872 --> 00:18:27,416 - I don't wanna talk about it! - The NAACP, GamerGate... 361 00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,378 Morty, is that Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor? 362 00:18:30,503 --> 00:18:31,962 I'm sorry! I... I'm sorry! 363 00:18:32,088 --> 00:18:33,422 I-Is that what you want me to say? 364 00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,800 - What... What do I do? - Oof, well, I'm stumped. 365 00:18:35,925 --> 00:18:37,885 Seems like there's no way out of this one. 366 00:18:38,010 --> 00:18:39,136 Unless... 367 00:18:39,261 --> 00:18:40,638 God damn it. 368 00:18:40,763 --> 00:18:42,807 Yeah, I guess it is, uh... What did you call it? 369 00:18:42,932 --> 00:18:45,017 Uh, uh, "A shitty idea"? 370 00:18:45,142 --> 00:18:47,228 - God damn it. - Say the vat is good. 371 00:18:47,353 --> 00:18:49,188 The vat is good. 372 00:18:49,313 --> 00:18:51,148 Kiss the vat. 373 00:18:53,401 --> 00:18:54,819 Do not go into that vat. 374 00:18:54,944 --> 00:18:56,821 It appears to be full of acid. 375 00:18:56,946 --> 00:18:58,823 It is! Please, he's just a little boy! 376 00:18:58,948 --> 00:19:01,200 - Let me talk to him. - Tell him we're very upset! 377 00:19:01,325 --> 00:19:02,535 Morty, please. Step back. 378 00:19:02,660 --> 00:19:04,036 That vat is full of acid. 379 00:19:04,161 --> 00:19:06,539 It'll melt you completely, leaving only your bones. 380 00:19:06,664 --> 00:19:08,225 - Goddamn it! - I'm sorry, what did you say? 381 00:19:08,249 --> 00:19:09,375 I'm going in the vat! 382 00:19:12,211 --> 00:19:15,464 Oh! God! Aw, I blame myself! 383 00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:17,091 Oh, what a tragedy. 384 00:19:17,216 --> 00:19:19,385 This... Oh, well, he's bones now. 385 00:19:19,510 --> 00:19:20,636 I guess all debts are paid. 386 00:19:20,761 --> 00:19:22,471 Agreed. He's definitely dead. 387 00:19:22,596 --> 00:19:24,849 Why else would the bones come up? 388 00:19:24,974 --> 00:19:26,684 While his actions were horrifying 389 00:19:26,809 --> 00:19:29,478 and we are well within our rights to be outraged, 390 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,856 I do wonder if we bear some responsibility 391 00:19:31,981 --> 00:19:34,233 for this young man melting himself in acid. 392 00:19:34,358 --> 00:19:36,902 Are we here for justice... or something else? 393 00:19:37,027 --> 00:19:40,114 "Though justice be thy plea, consider this," 394 00:19:40,239 --> 00:19:42,324 that in the course of justice... 395 00:19:42,450 --> 00:19:44,869 none of us should see salvation. 396 00:19:44,994 --> 00:19:46,537 "We do pray for mercy." 397 00:19:46,662 --> 00:19:47,997 "Merchant of Venice," nice. 398 00:19:48,122 --> 00:19:49,498 Very cool. Lots to think about. 399 00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,500 Vengeance is a tomb, all-encompassing... 400 00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:54,712 Alright, okay, this isn't a poetry reading, a kid just died. 401 00:19:54,837 --> 00:19:58,257 Every... Everybody go home and hug your loved one or something. 402 00:20:03,220 --> 00:20:04,388 Wait. 403 00:20:04,513 --> 00:20:05,848 How do we know that's really acid 404 00:20:05,973 --> 00:20:07,784 and you didn't just have someone's bones in there? 405 00:20:07,808 --> 00:20:09,411 I mean, if you're doubting if that's really acid 406 00:20:09,435 --> 00:20:11,035 and not just jacuzzi-heated Mountain Dew, 407 00:20:11,103 --> 00:20:12,480 you're welcome to use this ladle. 408 00:20:12,605 --> 00:20:14,523 You think I'm a goddamn idiot? 409 00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:16,650 Brought my own. 410 00:20:21,363 --> 00:20:22,656 Aah! 411 00:20:22,782 --> 00:20:23,908 Oh, God! Oh, God no! 412 00:20:24,033 --> 00:20:25,493 Oh, God, no! Oh, no... Huh? 413 00:20:25,618 --> 00:20:27,203 I'm acid-proof! 414 00:20:27,328 --> 00:20:29,163 Fuck all of you, fuck all of you, 415 00:20:29,288 --> 00:20:30,539 I'm gonna be rich! 416 00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:31,874 Here's my ass. 417 00:20:31,999 --> 00:20:33,793 Take a good look, spankifl. 418 00:20:33,918 --> 00:20:35,377 Acid proof! 419 00:20:35,503 --> 00:20:38,380 Feels like that guy had other stuff going on. 420 00:20:38,506 --> 00:20:40,758 Don't ever make fun of me again. 421 00:20:40,883 --> 00:20:42,927 Evefl. 422 00:20:43,052 --> 00:20:44,452 Alright, c'mon Morty, let's go home. 423 00:20:44,553 --> 00:20:46,233 Wait, what? This... This isn't our reality? 424 00:20:46,305 --> 00:20:47,625 What, you think I'd waste our home 425 00:20:47,681 --> 00:20:49,225 teaching you a fucking lesson? 426 00:20:49,350 --> 00:20:51,101 I am gonna miss this place, though... 427 00:20:51,227 --> 00:20:52,937 Johnny Carson's still alive and on the air, 428 00:20:53,062 --> 00:20:54,313 9/11 never happened, 429 00:20:54,438 --> 00:20:55,916 and Rocky Road ice cream has peanut butter 430 00:20:55,940 --> 00:20:57,733 - instead of marshmallows. - The fu... What? 431 00:20:57,858 --> 00:20:59,085 The marshmallows are the best part! 432 00:20:59,109 --> 00:21:00,694 Morty... 433 00:21:37,773 --> 00:21:39,483 Our next guest, ah, gave us, 434 00:21:39,608 --> 00:21:41,168 well, actually, very little information, 435 00:21:41,277 --> 00:21:45,447 ah, besides the fact that he is, uh, impervious to acid. 436 00:21:45,573 --> 00:21:47,449 So here he is, he's here to prove it. 437 00:21:47,575 --> 00:21:50,411 Let's welcome this guy. 438 00:21:50,536 --> 00:21:51,871 Let's do this shit! 439 00:21:51,996 --> 00:21:53,223 Now, you're, uh... You're sure about this? 440 00:21:53,247 --> 00:21:54,456 Eat my ass! Hoist me! 441 00:21:54,582 --> 00:21:57,793 I did not know that ass was on the menu. 442 00:21:57,918 --> 00:21:59,420 Don't steal my moment! Do it! 443 00:21:59,545 --> 00:22:03,215 Ah, okay, then without further ado... drop him. 444 00:22:03,340 --> 00:22:04,633 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah! 445 00:22:04,758 --> 00:22:06,635 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah, oh, yeah! 446 00:22:18,814 --> 00:22:21,483 Looks like I'll be eating ass flambé. 447 00:22:23,444 --> 00:22:24,570 Please kill me.