1 00:00:01,488 --> 00:00:03,365 Morty, be sure to pee before we go. 2 00:00:03,490 --> 00:00:04,926 This adventure is gonna be a long haul, 3 00:00:04,950 --> 00:00:06,535 and I don't feel like emptying the jug. 4 00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:09,013 Jerry, will you please just let me automate this fucking task? 5 00:00:09,037 --> 00:00:10,455 I didn't ask for anyone's help. 6 00:00:10,581 --> 00:00:12,082 You two are welcome to leave. 7 00:00:12,207 --> 00:00:13,601 Mom told me she wanted me to stay here 8 00:00:13,625 --> 00:00:15,127 to make sure you didn't die. 9 00:00:15,252 --> 00:00:17,296 Well, you tell your mother that I'm gonna be fine. 10 00:00:17,421 --> 00:00:19,131 Don't train your child to lie, Jerry, 11 00:00:19,256 --> 00:00:20,924 even though, you know, 'fie the season. 12 00:00:21,049 --> 00:00:22,134 Then I'll tell her. 13 00:00:22,259 --> 00:00:23,927 Whoa! 14 00:00:24,052 --> 00:00:25,637 I told you, no more rays. 15 00:00:25,762 --> 00:00:27,222 What ray did you zap me with? 16 00:00:27,347 --> 00:00:30,267 I made your atomic matrix slightly lighter than air, 17 00:00:30,392 --> 00:00:32,477 and now your shoes are heavier than air, 18 00:00:32,603 --> 00:00:34,187 which makes you neutrally buoyant, 19 00:00:34,313 --> 00:00:37,107 which I find personally more impressive conceptually 20 00:00:37,232 --> 00:00:39,026 than walking on water, but what do I know? 21 00:00:39,151 --> 00:00:41,236 I wasn't born into the god business. 22 00:00:41,361 --> 00:00:42,529 I fucking earned it. 23 00:00:42,654 --> 00:00:44,906 VVhoa! 24 00:00:45,032 --> 00:00:47,159 Just to be clear, this doesn't mean you helped me. 25 00:00:47,284 --> 00:00:48,493 It wears off in 10 hours, 26 00:00:48,619 --> 00:00:50,495 and the next hit will cost you 30 bucks. 27 00:00:50,621 --> 00:00:53,206 Like I'll even be using it in 10 hours. 28 00:00:53,332 --> 00:00:55,167 Siri, set a 9-hour and 50-minute timer. 29 00:00:55,292 --> 00:00:56,710 Playing The Beatles. 30 00:00:57,794 --> 00:00:59,129 - I need to pee. - Nope. 31 00:00:59,254 --> 00:01:00,690 Here, I've got a centipede you can swallow 32 00:01:00,714 --> 00:01:01,858 that makes you not have to go. 33 00:01:01,882 --> 00:01:03,425 I ain't swallowing no centipede. 34 00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:05,486 What, you think the centipede wants to eat your pee? 35 00:01:05,510 --> 00:01:07,220 You're not the victim in this transaction. 36 00:01:07,346 --> 00:01:09,056 Uh-oh, flat tire. 37 00:01:09,181 --> 00:01:11,159 How the hell do you get a flat tire in space, Rick? 38 00:01:11,183 --> 00:01:13,393 Obviously from a sharp thing in space, Morty. 39 00:01:13,518 --> 00:01:14,746 It's just crazy how much it feels 40 00:01:14,770 --> 00:01:16,188 like getting a regular flat. 41 00:01:16,313 --> 00:01:18,106 Oh, no, no, that's just my custom-programmed, 42 00:01:18,231 --> 00:01:21,360 fully immersive flat-tire indication experience. 43 00:01:21,485 --> 00:01:23,125 I can turn it off. I thought it was cooler 44 00:01:23,195 --> 00:01:25,364 than the celebrity voice package, but here. 45 00:01:25,489 --> 00:01:28,867 Flat tire... You should be... walkin'. 46 00:01:28,992 --> 00:01:30,243 - Oof. - Yeah. 47 00:01:30,369 --> 00:01:31,662 Can I come out with you, Rick? 48 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:32,787 No, I've seen this movie. 49 00:01:32,829 --> 00:01:34,456 Two guys leave the ship. 50 00:01:34,581 --> 00:01:35,832 One guy goes spinning away. 51 00:01:35,957 --> 00:01:37,501 You're staying in here where it's safe. 52 00:01:42,464 --> 00:01:43,757 - Morty, goddamn it. - Come on. 53 00:01:43,882 --> 00:01:45,425 I n... I never get to be out here. 54 00:01:45,550 --> 00:01:47,219 Ugh, you young people think space is like. 55 00:01:47,344 --> 00:01:48,679 "Saturday Night Live." 56 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:51,223 You see it every day, so you dream of being in it, 57 00:01:51,348 --> 00:01:53,517 but it dreams of removing all the air from your body 58 00:01:53,642 --> 00:01:55,322 and making you float around it for eternity 59 00:01:55,352 --> 00:01:56,895 as a flash-mummified corpse, 60 00:01:57,020 --> 00:02:00,065 which is also what space wants, so get back in the car. 61 00:02:00,190 --> 00:02:02,025 I'm not in danger. There's nothing out here. 62 00:02:02,150 --> 00:02:03,652 Literally everything is out here, 63 00:02:03,777 --> 00:02:06,071 and unlike everywhere else, I'm too busy to help you. 64 00:02:06,196 --> 00:02:08,365 Right, because you're always so helpful. 65 00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,075 Ah! 66 00:02:12,202 --> 00:02:13,912 - God damn it. - What is that? 67 00:02:14,037 --> 00:02:15,914 Obviously, it's a space snake. 68 00:02:16,039 --> 00:02:17,457 T-There's snakes in space? 69 00:02:17,582 --> 00:02:19,751 There's literally everything in space, Morty! 70 00:02:19,876 --> 00:02:21,878 Now get the fuck back in the car. 71 00:02:53,869 --> 00:02:55,829 I'm dying, Rick. 72 00:02:55,954 --> 00:02:58,039 I can see the black mountain. 73 00:02:58,165 --> 00:03:00,292 People who are really dying don't keep bring it up. 74 00:03:00,417 --> 00:03:01,835 - Is that true? - I don't know. 75 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:04,045 I'm just usually around people that die faster. 76 00:03:04,171 --> 00:03:06,339 All right. All right. 77 00:03:06,465 --> 00:03:07,942 J-Just let me analyze the snake's planet, 78 00:03:07,966 --> 00:03:09,509 so I can whip up an antivenom. 79 00:03:09,634 --> 00:03:11,474 Computer, you might want to put a rush on this. 80 00:03:11,553 --> 00:03:14,014 Marty's starting to look like a '90s Japanese ghost. 81 00:03:14,139 --> 00:03:15,849 Cutting corners. 82 00:03:15,974 --> 00:03:18,351 Oof, oh, my God, these snakes are a mess. 83 00:03:18,477 --> 00:03:20,979 19 billion snakes divided into 10,000 nations 84 00:03:21,104 --> 00:03:23,231 all on the brink of global war over... 85 00:03:23,356 --> 00:03:25,150 race. 86 00:03:25,275 --> 00:03:26,276 How funny is that? 87 00:03:26,401 --> 00:03:28,236 Imagine being a racist snake. 88 00:03:28,361 --> 00:03:29,529 "Hey, other snake, I hate you 89 00:03:29,654 --> 00:03:31,865 because you're the wrong color, snake." 90 00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:34,201 Oh, my God. You're not laughing? 91 00:03:34,326 --> 00:03:35,786 Oh, you're dying. 92 00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:38,205 It's a miracle they were able to fling one this far out 93 00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:40,040 before they slithered into extinction. 94 00:03:40,165 --> 00:03:42,709 Oh, oh, God, I killed their... 95 00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:44,711 What's his name, their Buzz Aspirin? 96 00:03:44,836 --> 00:03:46,129 It's actually Buzz Advil, Morty, 97 00:03:46,254 --> 00:03:47,607 and, uh, this is totally different. 98 00:03:47,631 --> 00:03:48,840 It's a female snake. 99 00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:50,405 There's an extra layer of heartbreak. 100 00:03:50,509 --> 00:03:52,219 Wait. Wait. Morty, Morty, you hear that? 101 00:03:52,344 --> 00:03:53,720 Listen. 102 00:03:53,845 --> 00:03:55,472 Snake jazz. 103 00:03:55,597 --> 00:03:57,808 Ha. Idiots. Let's get moving. 104 00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:59,142 We've got a long way to go, 105 00:03:59,267 --> 00:04:00,411 and I'm not sharing that centipede. 106 00:04:00,435 --> 00:04:02,020 Rick, wait. Go back. 107 00:04:02,145 --> 00:04:04,505 L-I can't be the reason why 19 billion snakes lost all hope. 108 00:04:04,606 --> 00:04:05,732 That's right, Morty. 109 00:04:05,857 --> 00:04:07,400 Only 19 billion snakes can do that. 110 00:04:07,526 --> 00:04:09,653 That species was never getting beyond this stage. 111 00:04:09,778 --> 00:04:11,822 To paraphrase the great Jeff Foxworthy, 112 00:04:11,947 --> 00:04:14,115 if you bite your first contact on its ankle, 113 00:04:14,241 --> 00:04:16,785 "you might be a type-zero-civilization-neck." 114 00:04:18,829 --> 00:04:20,247 What up, homeys? 115 00:04:20,372 --> 00:04:22,249 Shooting hoops, I see. 116 00:04:22,374 --> 00:04:23,810 Hey, who's interested in a friendly bet 117 00:04:23,834 --> 00:04:25,585 that this white guy can jump. 118 00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:27,879 Hey, leave the racial stuff off the court, okay? 119 00:04:28,004 --> 00:04:30,024 Oh, I thought that kind of talk was part of street ball. 120 00:04:30,048 --> 00:04:32,717 Well, now it's part of everything else, so chill. 121 00:04:32,843 --> 00:04:34,195 We... We got off on the wrong foot. 122 00:04:34,219 --> 00:04:36,137 My name is Jerry Smith. I live in the suburbs. 123 00:04:36,263 --> 00:04:38,098 I'm only here because I have a certain power 124 00:04:38,223 --> 00:04:40,183 I wanted to kind of celebrate before it goes away. 125 00:04:40,308 --> 00:04:41,768 Yo, we got a Nazi up here. 126 00:04:41,893 --> 00:04:44,145 Hey, I think there's a misunderstanding. 127 00:04:44,271 --> 00:04:45,897 Here, just... just watch. 128 00:04:46,022 --> 00:04:47,107 Huh? 129 00:04:47,232 --> 00:04:48,275 Help! Help! 130 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:50,235 L-I need that shoe! 131 00:04:51,319 --> 00:04:53,738 No, no, don't touch that shoe or that money. 132 00:04:53,864 --> 00:04:55,907 Let them be a powerful but confusing monument 133 00:04:56,032 --> 00:04:57,367 to our neighborhood's integrity. 134 00:04:57,492 --> 00:05:00,662 Oh, boy, what an adventure, huh? 135 00:05:00,787 --> 00:05:02,723 Hey, Morty, listen. I can tell you're pretty upset 136 00:05:02,747 --> 00:05:04,183 about the whole snake encounter thing, 137 00:05:04,207 --> 00:05:05,375 so I'll tell you what. 138 00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:06,686 I'm just gonna go ahead and avoid you 139 00:05:06,710 --> 00:05:07,710 for the rest of the day. 140 00:05:10,797 --> 00:05:12,340 Play snake jazz. 141 00:05:14,968 --> 00:05:20,849 II. 142 00:05:20,974 --> 00:05:26,813 II. 143 00:05:26,938 --> 00:05:28,231 I-Is this one friendly? 144 00:05:28,356 --> 00:05:29,733 It's a snake. 145 00:05:29,858 --> 00:05:31,586 You ever... You ever see this one look up at the sky 146 00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:33,778 like it's dreaming of something more? 147 00:05:33,904 --> 00:05:37,032 No, but, uh, all those ones marked with red sticker, yeah. 148 00:05:37,157 --> 00:05:38,992 Any snake over 50 bucks yearns for the beyond. 149 00:05:39,117 --> 00:05:40,493 I- - I've seen them do it. 150 00:05:44,247 --> 00:05:46,958 Ow! Damn it, Slippy, come on. 151 00:05:47,083 --> 00:05:48,960 Ow! Just please. 152 00:05:49,085 --> 00:05:51,212 I'm sorry. 153 00:05:51,338 --> 00:05:55,133 Everyone has a plumbus in their home. 154 00:05:55,258 --> 00:05:57,886 First, they take the dinglepop. 155 00:06:01,848 --> 00:06:04,517 Ow! Fucking monster. 156 00:08:02,010 --> 00:08:03,136 Downbeat. 157 00:08:03,261 --> 00:08:04,554 How do you win this fucking game? 158 00:08:04,679 --> 00:08:06,181 We-We've never gotten that far. 159 00:08:06,306 --> 00:08:08,391 Guys, did I not tell you to keep your eye on Jerry? 160 00:08:08,516 --> 00:08:09,934 - We did. - Then where is he? 161 00:08:10,060 --> 00:08:11,227 Maybe he's having an affair. 162 00:08:14,481 --> 00:08:16,191 But for real, has anyone seen him? 163 00:08:16,316 --> 00:08:17,877 Grandpa, did you trap him in a painting again? 164 00:08:17,901 --> 00:08:18,901 I didn't do shit. 165 00:08:18,985 --> 00:08:20,653 Well, y-y-you made him floaty. 166 00:08:20,779 --> 00:08:22,530 - Asshole. - Made him floaty? 167 00:08:22,655 --> 00:08:25,450 I saved his life by making his body slightly lighter than air, 168 00:08:25,575 --> 00:08:27,077 and it expires in a couple of hours. 169 00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:29,454 Expires, like he'll fall out of the sky? 170 00:08:29,579 --> 00:08:31,122 He won't by in the sky, Beth, 171 00:08:31,247 --> 00:08:34,959 unless it's possible for Jerry to fuck up wearing shoes. 172 00:08:35,085 --> 00:08:37,165 - Oh, crap, he's gonna die. - What were you thinking? 173 00:08:45,512 --> 00:08:46,721 Hey, babe. 174 00:08:46,846 --> 00:08:48,723 Jerry, are you in the air? 175 00:08:48,848 --> 00:08:50,350 Rick told me he made you floaty. 176 00:08:50,475 --> 00:08:52,268 Made me floaty? Pfft. 177 00:08:52,393 --> 00:08:54,729 Got to love Rick's world view. 178 00:08:54,854 --> 00:08:56,648 Yes, I had Rick make me floaty 179 00:08:56,773 --> 00:08:57,982 so I could put up some lights. 180 00:08:58,108 --> 00:08:59,526 Now, I'm at the light store. 181 00:08:59,651 --> 00:09:01,194 [ Squawking 1 - Get away! 182 00:09:01,319 --> 00:09:04,864 Sorry, this lady at the store is trying to peck me. 183 00:09:04,989 --> 00:09:06,866 Yes, you can help me find lights 184 00:09:06,991 --> 00:09:08,368 after I'm off the phone. 185 00:09:08,493 --> 00:09:10,533 We're in Rick's ship. How about we just pick you up? 186 00:09:10,578 --> 00:09:12,014 - You're with Rick? - Well, why wouldn't I... 187 00:09:12,038 --> 00:09:13,540 Jerry, I paused Beth with a device 188 00:09:13,665 --> 00:09:16,000 Christopher Walken gave me after a record session. 189 00:09:16,126 --> 00:09:17,418 Real talk, buddy, where you at? 190 00:09:17,544 --> 00:09:19,087 - Go to hell, Rick. - Come on, Jerry. 191 00:09:19,212 --> 00:09:20,797 I can recognize the sound of a seagull. 192 00:09:20,922 --> 00:09:23,091 Can you recognize the sound of a man's pants 193 00:09:23,216 --> 00:09:24,843 filling up with rain? 194 00:09:24,968 --> 00:09:26,928 I hope to one day. 195 00:09:27,053 --> 00:09:28,638 Jerry, I'll tell you what. 196 00:09:28,763 --> 00:09:30,723 Because it's Christmas, I'm gonna do you a favor. 197 00:09:30,849 --> 00:09:32,767 I won't let you die, and I won't tell Beth 198 00:09:32,892 --> 00:09:34,269 that you almost killed yourself. 199 00:09:34,394 --> 00:09:36,855 - Sounds like a win-win to me. - Come again? 200 00:09:36,980 --> 00:09:39,357 If I survive, it'll be without you, 201 00:09:39,482 --> 00:09:41,484 and if I die, it'll be on your ass. 202 00:09:41,609 --> 00:09:43,611 Merry Christmas, bitch. 203 00:09:43,736 --> 00:09:47,740 I am the Jesus Christ of Christmas! 204 00:10:00,086 --> 00:10:02,172 I be with him? 205 00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:04,340 We both care. 206 00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:06,176 - Whoa. Jerry. - Yes, honey? 207 00:10:06,301 --> 00:10:07,886 Let us just come get you. 208 00:10:08,011 --> 00:10:09,512 Beth, I am so touched 209 00:10:09,637 --> 00:10:11,598 that you care for me this much, but I'm fine, 210 00:10:11,723 --> 00:10:13,492 and I just want to put up these Christmas lights, 211 00:10:13,516 --> 00:10:15,185 and I will eat your world. 212 00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:17,645 Honey, my dad can hear you. 213 00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:18,855 Got to go. 214 00:10:18,980 --> 00:10:20,273 See you soon. 215 00:10:20,398 --> 00:10:21,858 Okay. 216 00:10:24,986 --> 00:10:26,529 Well, it sounds like he's fine. 217 00:10:26,654 --> 00:10:29,240 Yeah, I'm almost kind of rooting for him this time. 218 00:10:36,414 --> 00:10:38,291 One Diet Sprite Remix, please, 219 00:10:38,416 --> 00:10:40,877 and, uh, is anyone here an Uber driver? 220 00:10:41,002 --> 00:10:42,462 You can't bring that boulder in here. 221 00:10:42,587 --> 00:10:44,172 - What? - I said no boulders. 222 00:10:44,297 --> 00:10:46,025 - This ain't the lake, buddy. - Drop the rock. 223 00:10:46,049 --> 00:10:48,176 Well, it's kind of a... A service boulder. 224 00:10:48,301 --> 00:10:49,594 Yeah, I float without it. 225 00:10:49,719 --> 00:10:51,763 Big man holding a big rock, 226 00:10:51,888 --> 00:10:53,056 think you can take me down? 227 00:10:53,181 --> 00:10:55,266 No, obviously not. You're huge. 228 00:10:55,391 --> 00:10:56,660 - Then put it down. - Put the boulder down! 229 00:10:56,684 --> 00:10:58,186 If I put it down, I'm going to float. 230 00:10:58,311 --> 00:10:59,771 - Drop it! - Put it down! 231 00:10:59,896 --> 00:11:01,707 And frankly, your bar has a lot of ceiling fans. 232 00:11:01,731 --> 00:11:02,731 Drop the rock. 233 00:11:02,774 --> 00:11:04,400 - Put it down. - Okay, okay, okay. 234 00:11:04,525 --> 00:11:05,860 Hey, whoa, what the fuck? 235 00:11:05,985 --> 00:11:07,296 - Stop doing that. - I told you this would happen. 236 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:08,863 Well, stop floating. 237 00:11:08,988 --> 00:11:11,108 - Who said you could float here? - I can't control it. 238 00:11:12,951 --> 00:11:16,454 Aaaaaaaaaah! 239 00:11:16,579 --> 00:11:18,539 And take your girlfriend with you. 240 00:11:23,753 --> 00:11:25,588 Summer, how supes shook am I 241 00:11:25,713 --> 00:11:27,382 about your playlisting fleekness tonight? 242 00:11:27,507 --> 00:11:29,133 You love it? It's snake jazz. 243 00:11:29,259 --> 00:11:31,195 My little brother got bit by a snake in outer space 244 00:11:31,219 --> 00:11:32,470 and killed it with a hubcap, 245 00:11:32,595 --> 00:11:33,948 and my grandpa had to scan its planet's culture 246 00:11:33,972 --> 00:11:35,682 for an antivenom, and they found this. 247 00:11:35,807 --> 00:11:37,141 It's my jam. 248 00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:40,270 Seriously, my new thing now is snake jazz. 249 00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,122 Can you alter the course of a species' evolution 250 00:11:42,146 --> 00:11:43,426 like that without repercussions? 251 00:11:43,523 --> 00:11:44,941 Gee, I don't know, Nancy. 252 00:11:45,066 --> 00:11:47,226 Can you alter the course of being a giant fucking nerd? 253 00:11:47,277 --> 00:11:49,028 Sorry. 254 00:11:49,153 --> 00:11:50,631 Also, later, we need to discuss your clothing and your weight. 255 00:11:50,655 --> 00:11:51,655 That's fair. 256 00:11:53,950 --> 00:11:55,076 What the hell? 257 00:11:55,201 --> 00:11:56,411 Target acquired. 258 00:12:04,085 --> 00:12:05,461 Snakes! Get back in the car! 259 00:12:05,586 --> 00:12:07,297 Morty, enough with the... Snakes! 260 00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,132 Target acquired. 261 00:12:11,301 --> 00:12:14,470 Aliens, I am a robot sent back in time by the Snake Resistance 262 00:12:14,595 --> 00:12:16,306 to protect you from Serpacorp. 263 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:18,951 My appearance is designed to be familiar and to put you at ease. 264 00:12:18,975 --> 00:12:22,478 The ape child must be eliminated to protect our timeline. 265 00:12:22,603 --> 00:12:23,883 Morty, what the hell did you do? 266 00:12:23,938 --> 00:12:25,523 I was just trying to do the right thing. 267 00:12:25,648 --> 00:12:27,150 I took a living snake... 268 00:12:29,736 --> 00:12:31,112 Get behind me. I will protect... 269 00:12:31,237 --> 00:12:33,364 Aaah! 270 00:12:33,489 --> 00:12:38,536 II. 271 00:12:38,661 --> 00:12:40,288 Why... Why are they attacking us? 272 00:12:40,413 --> 00:12:41,831 I-I-I helped them. 273 00:12:41,956 --> 00:12:43,434 You gave them proof that there was something bigger 274 00:12:43,458 --> 00:12:45,418 and scarier to unite against, you little idiot. 275 00:12:45,543 --> 00:12:47,021 They would have gone back into the Dark Ages 276 00:12:47,045 --> 00:12:48,212 for a couple of generations, 277 00:12:48,338 --> 00:12:49,839 but instead, they dedicated themselves 278 00:12:49,964 --> 00:12:51,382 into making universe-destroying, 279 00:12:51,507 --> 00:12:53,843 un-thought-out technology like time travel 280 00:12:53,968 --> 00:12:56,346 all so they could try to kill a little shit sack on Earth 281 00:12:56,471 --> 00:12:57,911 who couldn't let a dead snake be dead 282 00:12:57,972 --> 00:13:00,224 even after it bit his ankle. 283 00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,560 Next time, stay in the fucking car. 284 00:13:02,685 --> 00:13:08,107 17 billion snake lives ended on June 21, 2026. 285 00:13:08,232 --> 00:13:12,403 The survivors lived only to face a new nightmare, 286 00:13:12,528 --> 00:13:16,449 the war between snake and machine. 287 00:13:16,574 --> 00:13:19,160 In the end, snake overcame machine 288 00:13:19,285 --> 00:13:21,329 because of what we couldn't predict... 289 00:13:21,454 --> 00:13:26,584 That an alien, a child from a distant star, would save us. 290 00:13:41,349 --> 00:13:43,434 W-Where are we going? W-What are we doing here, Rick? 291 00:13:43,559 --> 00:13:44,745 We got to get the heart of Snake Net. 292 00:13:44,769 --> 00:13:46,854 Now, shut up, and stay close. 293 00:13:46,979 --> 00:13:48,689 Resistance is mouselike. 294 00:13:48,815 --> 00:13:51,025 Whoa, hey, look. That one's actually really cool. 295 00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:52,150 Come here, little guy. 296 00:13:52,193 --> 00:13:53,903 Ah, you little son of a bitch. 297 00:13:54,028 --> 00:13:56,197 Come on, Morty. 298 00:13:56,322 --> 00:13:59,367 Your brood must be exterminated. 299 00:13:59,492 --> 00:14:02,120 You will not kill her or her brood. 300 00:14:02,245 --> 00:14:04,789 - Must kill brood and mother. - Get behind me. 301 00:14:04,914 --> 00:14:06,958 Your brood will seed all life on this planet. 302 00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:09,123 - That doesn't make sense. - That didn't make sense. 303 00:14:09,210 --> 00:14:10,420 Hey, it's... it's Slippy! 304 00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:12,338 Keep up, shit bag. 305 00:14:25,143 --> 00:14:26,602 Hi, you went directly to voicemail 306 00:14:26,727 --> 00:14:28,080 because your number is not in my phone. 307 00:14:28,104 --> 00:14:29,230 Don't leave a message. 308 00:14:29,355 --> 00:14:30,773 Hi, honey. 309 00:14:30,898 --> 00:14:33,776 Uh, look. Morty told me that you didn't think 310 00:14:33,901 --> 00:14:35,945 I could hang lights without killing myself. 311 00:14:36,070 --> 00:14:42,160 Look, I want to be a strong man for you, but the truth is... 312 00:14:42,285 --> 00:14:45,788 The truth is, I'm coming home with the best lights ever. 313 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,209 Oof. 314 00:14:50,334 --> 00:14:51,414 Whoa, feel that turbulence? 315 00:14:51,502 --> 00:14:52,587 Nope, I'm on molly. 316 00:14:54,422 --> 00:14:55,673 Give me some. Ahh. 317 00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:00,678 10 hours has expired. 318 00:15:00,803 --> 00:15:03,848 Aaaah! 319 00:15:05,683 --> 00:15:07,363 I don't suppose you guys will take a bribe? 320 00:15:08,144 --> 00:15:09,187 Ah! 321 00:15:12,315 --> 00:15:14,358 Anyone else want legs? 322 00:15:19,989 --> 00:15:21,449 God damn it. Are you kidding me? 323 00:15:21,574 --> 00:15:23,294 I thought there'd be a time machine in here. 324 00:15:23,409 --> 00:15:25,387 They're not even a quarter of the way through making it. 325 00:15:25,411 --> 00:15:27,205 I'm gonna have to invent it for them. 326 00:15:27,330 --> 00:15:28,623 I-I don't know snake math. 327 00:15:28,748 --> 00:15:30,228 Ugh, I didn't want to have to do this. 328 00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:32,210 Fuck. All right. 329 00:15:32,335 --> 00:15:33,961 W-What's going on'? What are you doing? 330 00:15:34,086 --> 00:15:37,089 I'm reminding myself to commit even more to your fuck-up. 331 00:15:37,215 --> 00:15:38,341 Hey, assholes. 332 00:15:38,466 --> 00:15:39,746 Fuck you. Takes one to know one. 333 00:15:39,842 --> 00:15:41,177 What the heck? 334 00:15:41,302 --> 00:15:43,462 - Hey, man, you... you okay? - You know what? Fuck you. 335 00:15:43,554 --> 00:15:46,015 - What? Screw you. - Here. 336 00:15:46,140 --> 00:15:47,409 Come on. Was it really that hard? 337 00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:49,227 What do you think? Come on, Morty. 338 00:15:49,352 --> 00:15:51,229 Man, I-I-I wonder why I had a black eye. 339 00:15:51,354 --> 00:15:53,439 Morty, shut the fuck up and put these on. 340 00:16:03,199 --> 00:16:04,575 Okay, so w-what are we doing? 341 00:16:04,700 --> 00:16:06,011 That book has everything they need 342 00:16:06,035 --> 00:16:07,495 to create snake time travel, 343 00:16:07,620 --> 00:16:10,456 a-and they're getting it in 1985, snake time. 344 00:16:10,581 --> 00:16:12,901 Now, they're gonna do it so early that it won't involve us, 345 00:16:12,959 --> 00:16:14,436 and they're gonna be even stupider with it. 346 00:16:14,460 --> 00:16:15,836 Huh, a-and then what? 347 00:16:15,962 --> 00:16:17,602 We're removing ourselves from this sloppy, 348 00:16:17,672 --> 00:16:19,465 fucked-up story and letting snake time travel 349 00:16:19,590 --> 00:16:21,092 eat its own tail. 350 00:17:30,536 --> 00:17:32,705 Just have to keep my grip. 351 00:17:32,830 --> 00:17:35,082 Jerry Smith, I am here to save you. 352 00:17:35,207 --> 00:17:37,293 What? I already told Rick I don't want help. 353 00:17:37,418 --> 00:17:38,919 I do not know Rick. 354 00:17:39,045 --> 00:17:41,297 I was sent by a society of human-snake hybrids... 355 00:17:41,422 --> 00:17:43,382 - Classic Rick. - From an alternate version... 356 00:17:46,344 --> 00:17:48,387 I did it! We're landing! 357 00:17:48,512 --> 00:17:49,722 I knew I could do it. 358 00:17:59,398 --> 00:18:01,984 Jesus Christ, Rick, it's pandemonium out there! 359 00:18:02,109 --> 00:18:04,111 T-This is worse than when we left. 360 00:18:04,236 --> 00:18:05,821 Rick, look, Summer! 361 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:12,620 Nobody chokes me without consent. 362 00:18:12,745 --> 00:18:14,413 Y-You just made things worse, Rick. 363 00:18:14,538 --> 00:18:15,706 Trust me, Morty. 364 00:18:15,831 --> 00:18:17,333 We helped them press on the gas pedal. 365 00:18:17,458 --> 00:18:19,585 We just got to wait for them to blow by a cop. 366 00:18:23,881 --> 00:18:25,549 Shleemypants here, what's up? 367 00:18:25,675 --> 00:18:28,594 Snakes? Time travel? They did what? 368 00:18:28,719 --> 00:18:31,847 How the fuck did... Okay, okay, I'm on it. 369 00:18:31,972 --> 00:18:35,184 We got a 10-51 on a goddamn snake planet. 370 00:18:35,309 --> 00:18:37,353 Don't look at me. I'm afraid of snakes. 371 00:18:37,478 --> 00:18:39,146 "I'm afraid of snakes," bullshit. 372 00:18:39,271 --> 00:18:41,071 You afraid of work. That's what you afraid of. 373 00:18:41,107 --> 00:18:42,358 All right. All right. 374 00:18:42,483 --> 00:18:44,068 Let's go take care of this. 375 00:18:49,365 --> 00:18:50,700 Oh, look at you. 376 00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:52,243 You a smart snake, huh? 377 00:18:52,368 --> 00:18:54,036 You using tools now, huh? 378 00:18:54,161 --> 00:18:55,472 Those tools are gonna turn into you 379 00:18:55,496 --> 00:18:57,081 manipulating the fabric of shit. 380 00:18:57,206 --> 00:18:58,225 Get over here, motherfucker. 381 00:18:58,249 --> 00:18:59,309 What the fuck you think you doing? 382 00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:02,795 - Don't fuck with time. - You don't fuck with time. 383 00:19:05,047 --> 00:19:07,425 - Holy shit. - What happened? 384 00:19:07,550 --> 00:19:09,236 Look, this is better than them attacking us. 385 00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:10,678 Also, that's about as much curvature 386 00:19:10,803 --> 00:19:12,722 as you're gonna get from a time-travel story. 387 00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:15,087 You know what? This one counts as one of your adventures. 388 00:19:15,182 --> 00:19:16,475 - Hey, come on. - No freebies. 389 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:18,477 Aw, man, I-I wanted to go to Boob World. 390 00:19:18,602 --> 00:19:20,563 Well, now, we can't because you fucked up. 391 00:19:20,688 --> 00:19:22,440 Got to learn a lesson. 392 00:19:22,565 --> 00:19:24,066 You want to go to Boob World, Summer? 393 00:19:24,191 --> 00:19:25,443 Eh, not today. 394 00:19:25,568 --> 00:19:29,196 This sucks. 395 00:19:29,321 --> 00:19:31,240 Hey, honey, check it out. 396 00:19:31,365 --> 00:19:33,367 Jerry, I was worried about you. 397 00:19:33,492 --> 00:19:35,692 Oh, just killing some snakes up here like everyone else, 398 00:19:35,786 --> 00:19:37,538 I guess, and finishing the Christmas lights. 399 00:19:37,663 --> 00:19:39,081 Wait, the whole time? 400 00:19:39,206 --> 00:19:41,375 I was screaming for help, and you stayed on the roof? 401 00:19:41,500 --> 00:19:43,586 I couldn't hear you over my own screaming. 402 00:19:43,711 --> 00:19:44,754 We've talked about this. 403 00:19:44,879 --> 00:19:47,089 Well, I'm just glad you're safe. 404 00:19:47,214 --> 00:19:49,592 Well, duh, of course, I'm safe. 405 00:19:49,717 --> 00:19:51,010 Hey, guess what, asshole. 406 00:19:51,135 --> 00:19:52,261 I did it without you. 407 00:19:52,386 --> 00:19:53,763 Whoa! Ah! 408 00:19:53,888 --> 00:19:56,682 Oh, God, it hurts. 409 00:19:56,807 --> 00:19:57,850 What was that? 410 00:19:57,975 --> 00:19:59,477 I healed your leg 50%. 411 00:19:59,602 --> 00:20:01,645 The rest is on you, big man. 412 00:20:01,771 --> 00:20:04,607 That's what I'm talking about. Respect, my brother. 413 00:20:04,732 --> 00:20:06,776 Geez, your dad sucks. All right, Morty. 414 00:20:06,901 --> 00:20:08,694 Let's go enjoy a little bit of eggnog, huh? 415 00:20:08,819 --> 00:20:09,820 All right. 416 00:20:09,945 --> 00:20:11,405 Not so fast, boys. 417 00:20:11,530 --> 00:20:13,216 Yeah, I think you might be forgetting something. 418 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,117 Merry Christmas, fuck nuts. Get to work. 419 00:20:15,242 --> 00:20:16,720 Geez, I don't see why you have to be smug about it. 420 00:20:16,744 --> 00:20:18,138 - A bunch of bullshit. - That's not necessary. 421 00:20:18,162 --> 00:20:19,538 This fucking sucks. 422 00:20:19,663 --> 00:20:21,224 Yeah, it's fun until it's you, huh, shit nog? 423 00:20:21,248 --> 00:20:23,459 Yeah, have fun sewing those snake costumes together, 424 00:20:23,584 --> 00:20:25,336 - you little tramp. - You tell them, Morty. 425 00:20:25,461 --> 00:20:27,314 Geez, you guys don't have to be dicks about it, all right? 426 00:20:27,338 --> 00:20:29,538 Yeah, neither did the guys before us, but you know what? 427 00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:31,230 They were. Merry Christmas, you shit bags. 428 00:20:31,342 --> 00:20:33,928 Yeah, ghost of Christmas future, bitches, you fucking idiots. 429 00:20:34,053 --> 00:20:36,597 - So mean. - Those guys are mean. 430 00:21:07,962 --> 00:21:10,005 Man, I just want to open my Christmas presents. 431 00:21:10,130 --> 00:21:12,330 Well, I'm waiting on you to finish those snake costumes. 432 00:21:12,424 --> 00:21:14,176 I'm almost done. You know what? 433 00:21:14,301 --> 00:21:15,636 T-They're good enough. I'm done. 434 00:21:15,761 --> 00:21:17,346 All right. Let's go. 435 00:21:19,390 --> 00:21:20,700 All right. We're landing. Come on. 436 00:21:20,724 --> 00:21:22,726 Man, I can't believe we're almost done, Rick. 437 00:21:22,852 --> 00:21:24,520 I can practically taste the eggnog. 438 00:21:24,645 --> 00:21:26,021 Hey, you know what? 439 00:21:26,146 --> 00:21:28,023 I... I feel like we're forgetting something. 440 00:21:28,148 --> 00:21:29,984 Oh, yeah, uh, thanks for reminding me. 441 00:21:30,109 --> 00:21:31,986 Morty, next time, stay in the car.