1 00:00:04,850 --> 00:00:06,269 Rick, we did it! We... we got it! 2 00:00:06,270 --> 00:00:07,809 Hurry up, Morty. Get in! 3 00:00:07,810 --> 00:00:09,459 - Chachi! - Chachi, Morty. 4 00:00:09,460 --> 00:00:11,549 - Did you get it? - He helped me escape prison. 5 00:00:11,550 --> 00:00:13,610 Did you get the Ultimate Cube? 6 00:00:13,615 --> 00:00:15,419 Oh, it's purple. 7 00:00:15,420 --> 00:00:16,589 Y-You said it was purple. 8 00:00:16,590 --> 00:00:17,729 I said mine was. 9 00:00:17,730 --> 00:00:19,450 I didn't know they all were. 10 00:00:19,460 --> 00:00:21,869 And now we do, thanks to Chichi. 11 00:00:21,870 --> 00:00:23,124 Chachi. 12 00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:27,169 So, uh, w-w-when do I get it? 13 00:00:27,170 --> 00:00:28,189 Get what, a hug? 14 00:00:28,190 --> 00:00:30,047 Let's find a planet with a garden hose first. 15 00:00:30,048 --> 00:00:31,629 - A dragon. - A dragon. 16 00:00:31,630 --> 00:00:33,579 You asked me to cut class and fight robots with you. 17 00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:34,589 I said, "No." 18 00:00:34,590 --> 00:00:36,249 You said, "Millions of lives depend on it." 19 00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:37,910 I said, "I'll do it for a dragon." 20 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,490 You said, "Whatever." 21 00:00:39,499 --> 00:00:40,969 I want my dragon. 22 00:00:40,970 --> 00:00:42,429 You know who's into dragons, Morty? 23 00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:44,389 Nerds that refuse to admit they're Christian. 24 00:00:44,390 --> 00:00:46,449 - I want my dragon. - Let me give you rocket shoes. 25 00:00:46,450 --> 00:00:47,869 Let me give you Wolverine claws. 26 00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:49,529 Let me give you a rocket hat. 27 00:00:49,530 --> 00:00:51,209 Just be sure to use it with the rocket shoes, 28 00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:52,219 or it'll rip your head off. 29 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,405 I want my dragon! I want my dragon! 30 00:00:54,406 --> 00:00:55,599 I want my dragon! 31 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,130 - Oh. - Ha! Ha! 32 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,649 Oh, crap. 33 00:00:58,650 --> 00:00:59,744 Crap. 34 00:01:02,791 --> 00:01:04,740 Dad, are you okay? 35 00:01:04,744 --> 00:01:06,667 Your ship crashed in Malta. 36 00:01:06,668 --> 00:01:08,085 I'm okay. 37 00:01:08,086 --> 00:01:09,700 Oh, thank God. 38 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,674 Dad, did you promise Morty a dragon? 39 00:01:12,675 --> 00:01:14,299 Fuuuuuuu... 40 00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:46,079 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 41 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:47,219 Ugh! 42 00:01:47,220 --> 00:01:49,649 Bleed here and here. 43 00:01:49,650 --> 00:01:50,669 I'm not co-bleeding. 44 00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:52,489 Under authority of our treaty 45 00:01:52,490 --> 00:01:54,589 'twixt the realms of dragon and man... 46 00:01:54,590 --> 00:01:55,689 Oh, my God, it's my first gay wedding. 47 00:01:55,690 --> 00:01:57,180 - Summer! - ... I hereby bind 48 00:01:57,185 --> 00:01:59,289 this noble serpent and rider 49 00:01:59,290 --> 00:02:00,930 at the soul. 50 00:02:00,931 --> 00:02:04,139 Here's your tome of dragon spells and lore. 51 00:02:04,140 --> 00:02:05,309 That'll have everything you need. 52 00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:06,429 Enjoy your dragon. 53 00:02:06,430 --> 00:02:08,550 Okay, dragon, here's the house rules. 54 00:02:08,557 --> 00:02:11,680 My name is Balthromaw, 55 00:02:11,681 --> 00:02:14,149 breaker of sky, slayer of mountain. 56 00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:16,809 Rule one... you are now scooper of your own poops, 57 00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:19,789 or I will take you down like the black-light poster you are. 58 00:02:19,790 --> 00:02:21,589 I don't got any more rules. That's it. 59 00:02:22,610 --> 00:02:24,899 I'm guessing you'd rather not be tagged in this. 60 00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,910 Okay, I'll bite. 61 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:28,163 What's with the talking cat? 62 00:02:28,164 --> 00:02:31,229 - It's a dragon, dip knob. - I know that's a dragon. 63 00:02:31,230 --> 00:02:34,085 I'm talking about the talking cat in my bedroom. 64 00:02:34,086 --> 00:02:36,009 Jerry, why would I give Morty a talking dragon 65 00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:37,750 and you a talking cat at the same time? 66 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:39,089 Those concepts bump. 67 00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:41,230 If you're talking to a cat, it's an abnormal event 68 00:02:41,231 --> 00:02:43,430 unrelated to me like when you went to Pluto 69 00:02:43,434 --> 00:02:45,059 or my daughter. 70 00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:47,644 Okay, there's really no need to get savage. 71 00:02:48,912 --> 00:02:50,050 So? 72 00:02:50,054 --> 00:02:52,064 Eh, he says he has nothing to do with your talking. 73 00:02:52,065 --> 00:02:54,732 - Told you. - So then why are you talking? 74 00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:57,289 - Why should that matter? - Why should it not matter? 75 00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:59,290 How do I know I'm not hallucinating? 76 00:02:59,296 --> 00:03:01,115 Rick said this is an abnormal event. 77 00:03:01,116 --> 00:03:03,329 Do you always need Rick to tell you what's going on? 78 00:03:03,330 --> 00:03:05,450 Maybe it's time you stopped asking questions 79 00:03:05,460 --> 00:03:07,580 and started having fun. 80 00:03:07,586 --> 00:03:09,619 Oh. 81 00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:12,369 Wow, okay. 82 00:03:12,370 --> 00:03:13,409 So, what do you want? 83 00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:14,949 I want you to take us to the airport 84 00:03:14,950 --> 00:03:17,470 and get us two first-class tickets to Florida. 85 00:03:17,473 --> 00:03:20,609 Why, I... I can do that. 86 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,129 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 87 00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:27,389 Oh, this is so cool! 88 00:03:31,590 --> 00:03:34,339 I await your next command. 89 00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:35,354 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 90 00:03:35,355 --> 00:03:36,900 Nobody is commanding anybody. 91 00:03:36,903 --> 00:03:40,299 I love soaring through the sky with you as equals. 92 00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,759 W-What do you want to do? 93 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,849 I want to enter my lair and sleep upon my hoard 94 00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:47,239 until the Age of Man expires. 95 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,870 Okay. 96 00:03:48,879 --> 00:03:50,509 Split the diff? 97 00:03:50,510 --> 00:03:53,829 20-minute nap and soar through the sky? 98 00:03:53,830 --> 00:03:54,839 Ugh. 99 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,850 As you command. 100 00:03:56,853 --> 00:03:58,419 Okay, see you soon. 101 00:03:58,420 --> 00:03:59,879 T-This is fun. 102 00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:02,089 Yeah, right. 103 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:04,489 What's this show called, "Ass"? 104 00:04:04,490 --> 00:04:07,189 Yeah, it's like "Bones," but they solve ass crimes. 105 00:04:07,190 --> 00:04:08,359 This ass is a clue. 106 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:09,659 Are these two gonna hook up? 107 00:04:09,660 --> 00:04:11,729 No, and only the lame fans want that. 108 00:04:11,730 --> 00:04:13,420 Don't tell me how to enjoy things. 109 00:04:13,426 --> 00:04:15,240 - Go to her ass. - That's Brenner. 110 00:04:15,247 --> 00:04:17,020 Go to Brenner Ass. 111 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,349 Honeymoon over already? 112 00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:20,489 What's that supposed to mean? 113 00:04:20,490 --> 00:04:22,249 Admit it, Morty. Dragons suck. 114 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,369 Why don't you admit you don't anyone else to be happy 115 00:04:24,370 --> 00:04:27,200 because you're a sad old fart? 116 00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:29,209 How do you saddle a fart? 117 00:04:29,210 --> 00:04:30,249 Holy, look! 118 00:04:30,250 --> 00:04:32,459 - I love you, Ass. - I love you, Brenner. 119 00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:33,599 - No. - Shh. 120 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,020 - Ah! - Whoa! 121 00:04:35,590 --> 00:04:36,689 And that's the end of the 122 00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:38,149 "Morty Gets a Dragon" episode. 123 00:04:38,150 --> 00:04:41,630 - Are you gonna slay it? - First off, I always slay it, queen. 124 00:04:41,637 --> 00:04:43,760 - Secondly, yes. - Should I pause "Ass"? 125 00:04:43,762 --> 00:04:46,428 Nah, it's kind of boring now that they're together. 126 00:04:51,997 --> 00:04:53,169 Hey, face! 127 00:04:53,170 --> 00:04:55,889 Will you shut the up or at least roll over? 128 00:04:55,890 --> 00:04:58,069 Oh, no, it burns. 129 00:04:58,070 --> 00:05:00,527 Oh, my God. Oh, the fire of... of it all. 130 00:05:01,220 --> 00:05:02,669 Ah, if only I had prepared better 131 00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,510 for this terrifying battle by remembering 132 00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,074 the only thing dragons are known for. 133 00:05:13,540 --> 00:05:15,332 Careful you don't get heartburn. 134 00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:17,335 I made that android with a lot of C4. 135 00:05:17,336 --> 00:05:19,189 Oh, I'm sorry. I imbued it 136 00:05:19,190 --> 00:05:22,131 with a remote-controlled explode-y potion. 137 00:05:22,132 --> 00:05:23,580 You have bested me. 138 00:05:23,585 --> 00:05:25,801 I am at your service. 139 00:05:25,802 --> 00:05:27,229 Good to be on the same parchment. 140 00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:28,929 Now, I'm gonna tell my grandson you ran off 141 00:05:28,930 --> 00:05:32,090 with a low-flying 747 while you pack up your... 142 00:05:32,098 --> 00:05:34,309 Wait, is this... Why do you have an original 143 00:05:34,310 --> 00:05:37,289 Ecto Cooler juice box from 1989? 144 00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:40,109 I hoard that which your kind covets. 145 00:05:40,110 --> 00:05:42,985 - Give you 20 bucks for it. - Nice try. 146 00:05:42,986 --> 00:05:44,695 What the hell else are you hoarding down here? 147 00:05:44,696 --> 00:05:47,239 Cha-ching. "Small Soldiers" Spin Pops? 148 00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:48,900 - Don't open that. - I'm not an idiot. 149 00:05:48,903 --> 00:05:51,869 Hey, why do you have Future's self-titled album on vinyl? 150 00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:53,328 Look closer. 151 00:05:53,329 --> 00:05:55,339 Oh, he signed it. 152 00:05:55,340 --> 00:05:57,010 Closer. 153 00:05:57,013 --> 00:05:59,219 He signed it in molly and Percocet? 154 00:05:59,220 --> 00:06:00,729 I could spend all night down here. 155 00:06:00,730 --> 00:06:03,730 Do you indulge in volcanic fumes? 156 00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,439 Is it gonna up my brain? 157 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:07,950 - No. - I'll do it anyway. 158 00:06:08,970 --> 00:06:11,889 Hoo, those were not cheap tickets, 159 00:06:11,890 --> 00:06:15,750 but, um, I'm down to clown. 160 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,489 Uh, w-w-w-why can you talk again, uh? 161 00:06:18,490 --> 00:06:19,909 It's not important, Jerry. 162 00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:21,249 Okay, but why Florida? 163 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:23,060 Because they don't ask questions. 164 00:06:23,067 --> 00:06:25,420 They play volleyball, they party, and they have fun. 165 00:06:25,426 --> 00:06:26,959 Right, right. 166 00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:28,460 You can do this, Jerry. 167 00:06:28,465 --> 00:06:31,609 I can do this. I can do this. 168 00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:33,337 Ohh! 169 00:06:33,338 --> 00:06:34,490 Ugh! 170 00:06:35,151 --> 00:06:36,622 Oh, yeah. 171 00:06:36,623 --> 00:06:38,939 Hey, Jerry, after this game, 172 00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,649 come to my yacht and bring your cat. 173 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:42,070 You got it, Jipe. 174 00:06:42,072 --> 00:06:43,989 I got to admit, you were right. 175 00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:45,720 I've got to tell you something, Jerry. 176 00:06:45,721 --> 00:06:48,320 This is the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. 177 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,969 Oh, gross! Who shit in the sand? 178 00:06:50,970 --> 00:06:53,489 Someone took a small shit in the sand 179 00:06:53,490 --> 00:06:55,490 and buried it with, like, two little kicks 180 00:06:55,494 --> 00:06:57,860 and just left it here like a land mine. 181 00:06:57,862 --> 00:07:00,104 Why and who? 182 00:07:01,190 --> 00:07:02,209 It was him. 183 00:07:03,730 --> 00:07:05,169 Help! 184 00:07:21,870 --> 00:07:24,949 I'm being summoned by Morty. 185 00:07:24,950 --> 00:07:26,929 Yeah. He's, uh, texting me. 186 00:07:26,930 --> 00:07:29,179 Hmm. How are you responding? 187 00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:30,729 Ugh, I tend not to, 188 00:07:30,730 --> 00:07:33,309 or maybe I'll send, like, a popular animated GIF 189 00:07:33,310 --> 00:07:35,369 that could be interpreted in almost any way. 190 00:07:35,370 --> 00:07:36,419 Brilliant. 191 00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:38,230 I summon thee. 192 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,849 I summon thee, Balthromaw. 193 00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:43,189 What the hell? 194 00:07:43,190 --> 00:07:45,649 Taylor Swift pumping her hands in the air? 195 00:07:45,650 --> 00:07:47,650 - What does it mean when... - It means you're lame. 196 00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,730 What's the saying? 197 00:08:04,736 --> 00:08:08,422 "Orcs work to live. Dwarves live to work." 198 00:08:08,423 --> 00:08:09,679 So dumb. 199 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:10,969 If there's ever a saying about me, 200 00:08:10,970 --> 00:08:12,639 I'll fly into the Sun. 201 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:18,640 Oh, you're small for a dragon, Rick. 202 00:08:18,641 --> 00:08:21,429 Well, I sleep on an extra big pile of awesome shit. 203 00:08:21,430 --> 00:08:24,039 Then there will be sayings about you. 204 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,106 Your lessers will hunt you down, 205 00:08:26,107 --> 00:08:29,559 and you will be owned or slain. 206 00:08:29,560 --> 00:08:31,821 That's why they call it a dying breed, brother. 207 00:08:35,565 --> 00:08:37,039 Ugh! Ughh! 208 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,069 Oh, God. 209 00:08:38,070 --> 00:08:39,789 - Ugh. My soul. - Oh! 210 00:08:39,790 --> 00:08:41,530 Oh, yeah. I'm... 211 00:08:41,539 --> 00:08:43,549 I'm... I'm a dragon. 212 00:08:43,550 --> 00:08:45,029 - Oh! - Ugh, I'm bonding. 213 00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,877 I'm bonding too. 214 00:08:46,878 --> 00:08:48,795 - Oh! - Yeah. 215 00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,172 What the! 216 00:08:50,173 --> 00:08:52,479 - Morty, I can explain. - Stop! 217 00:08:52,480 --> 00:08:54,029 Why are you still doing it? 218 00:08:54,030 --> 00:08:55,739 Why does it feel better now? 219 00:08:55,740 --> 00:08:58,180 I hope it's not because you're watching, but don't go anywhere. 220 00:08:58,181 --> 00:09:00,089 How did you find us? 221 00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:02,018 We followed the smell of sulfur and skankery. 222 00:09:04,020 --> 00:09:06,271 - Oh! - Oh, yeah. 223 00:09:06,272 --> 00:09:08,509 - Oh, man, ugh. - this. 224 00:09:08,510 --> 00:09:10,889 You can take this stupid fake soul-bond contract, 225 00:09:10,890 --> 00:09:12,653 and you can... mm! Ah! 226 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,069 No refunds. 227 00:09:15,070 --> 00:09:17,489 Your dragon soul-bonded with my grandpa. 228 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,949 Oh, my! I am so sorry. 229 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:22,496 - That is a total violation. - Yeah, no shit. 230 00:09:22,497 --> 00:09:24,590 I'll take care of this at once. 231 00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:26,059 You slut dragon! 232 00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:27,060 - What the! - You slut. 233 00:09:27,061 --> 00:09:28,069 - Chill out, dude. - Slut! 234 00:09:28,070 --> 00:09:29,300 - Okay, that's... - You slut! 235 00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,420 - Y-You don't have to... - Slut! 236 00:09:30,423 --> 00:09:31,650 Shame on you! 237 00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:33,339 - Shame, you slut! You slutty... - Ow! 238 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,349 - ... slutty... - Why the does it feel 239 00:09:34,350 --> 00:09:35,389 - like you're whipping me? - ... slut! 240 00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:37,389 Because your soul got tangled 241 00:09:37,390 --> 00:09:38,759 - in a dirty... - Ah! 242 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:41,515 - ... slutty... slut soul! - Ow! Ow! 243 00:09:41,516 --> 00:09:42,529 - Let's go! - Ow! Ow! 244 00:09:42,530 --> 00:09:45,009 - Get to that portal, you slut. - Grandpa, do something, 245 00:09:45,010 --> 00:09:48,130 or I will tweet, and you will be canceled. 246 00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,050 Hey, Dandruff the Great, 247 00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:52,067 lighten up and give the kid his dragon. 248 00:09:52,068 --> 00:09:53,329 By whose command? 249 00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:54,528 You have no magic. 250 00:09:54,529 --> 00:09:56,446 Yeah, I know. I have actual power. 251 00:09:56,447 --> 00:09:57,860 Not here, you don't. 252 00:09:57,864 --> 00:10:01,089 True power looks like this... 253 00:10:01,090 --> 00:10:03,099 Stone monster. 254 00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,469 - Stick that up your ass. - Oh, you're done? 255 00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:08,251 I thought the rock monster was here to introduce a physicist. 256 00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:14,289 Spinal cord, uh, activate morphine. 257 00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:16,499 Oh, I might be. 258 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:18,290 Lightning bridge! 259 00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:22,179 Okay, he's gone. Listen up. 260 00:10:22,180 --> 00:10:23,509 There's probably animals in these hills. 261 00:10:23,510 --> 00:10:25,929 If you spare me, I can make your crotch a salt lick. 262 00:10:25,930 --> 00:10:30,231 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 263 00:10:32,492 --> 00:10:33,809 Thank you, Morty. 264 00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:36,129 Figures you'd be higher status in Lame World. 265 00:10:36,130 --> 00:10:38,010 Get your together, Lair Wrecker. 266 00:10:38,015 --> 00:10:39,430 We need to rescue Balthromaw. 267 00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:42,499 Morty, the moral of this story is bros before dragons. 268 00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:43,509 You know what I'm talking about? 269 00:10:43,510 --> 00:10:46,960 Yeah, if he dies while you're soul bonded, you die too. 270 00:10:46,968 --> 00:10:50,440 Morty, the moral of this story is bros rescue dragons. 271 00:10:50,670 --> 00:10:52,289 Balthromaw, 272 00:10:52,290 --> 00:10:54,629 by soul bonding with multiple riders, 273 00:10:54,630 --> 00:10:58,210 you have violated the treaty between dragon and mankind. 274 00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:02,490 The Dragonarchy sentences you to hang by the neck until dead. 275 00:11:02,494 --> 00:11:04,389 On the count of three. 276 00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:06,389 One Dragonarchy, 277 00:11:06,390 --> 00:11:09,919 two Dragonarchy, 21/2... 278 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,564 I just wanted to make sure... Three! 279 00:11:12,982 --> 00:11:15,289 Grandpa Rick, what's wrong? 280 00:11:15,290 --> 00:11:18,009 Oh, God. The wizard must have hung Balthromaw! 281 00:11:18,010 --> 00:11:19,669 Well, it. Can we go back then? 282 00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:21,750 W-Well, no, no. It takes, like, 78 years 283 00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,019 to hang a dragon to death, so... 284 00:11:23,020 --> 00:11:24,869 Aw, man. It's so annoying. 285 00:11:24,870 --> 00:11:27,300 You ever, like, try to swallow a really big vitamin 286 00:11:27,306 --> 00:11:28,789 with no water? Ugh! 287 00:11:28,790 --> 00:11:30,209 You know, like... 288 00:11:30,210 --> 00:11:32,029 really, like, big one, you know, 289 00:11:32,030 --> 00:11:34,584 and it kind of gets, ugh, stuck in your throat? 290 00:11:34,585 --> 00:11:36,350 It's... it's annoying. All right. 291 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,690 Morty, go ahead and activate this golem. 292 00:11:38,694 --> 00:11:41,179 Agana aksaka sapooloo. 293 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,769 dumb. All right. 294 00:11:55,770 --> 00:11:58,469 Who wants to be infused with, like, uh, unreasonable power? 295 00:11:58,470 --> 00:12:00,612 Oh, can I be, like, a sexy arrow-shooty lady? 296 00:12:00,613 --> 00:12:03,799 Yeah, whatever. There's no rules. I don't care. 297 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,729 Morty, you want superpowers? 298 00:12:05,730 --> 00:12:07,743 No, thanks. I'm fine. I've got my book. 299 00:12:07,744 --> 00:12:09,190 All right. Good luck with that. 300 00:12:09,191 --> 00:12:10,909 Let's go. 301 00:12:12,630 --> 00:12:14,979 God, it's like... have you ever had too much orange juice, 302 00:12:14,980 --> 00:12:16,729 or, like, you know how egg yolk 303 00:12:16,730 --> 00:12:18,409 kind of, like, gets in your throat? 304 00:12:18,410 --> 00:12:20,006 Yeah, we get it. Come on and hurry. 305 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,967 W-We got to free Balthromaw. 306 00:12:21,968 --> 00:12:23,970 - Upsulu... - I got this. 307 00:12:27,306 --> 00:12:29,469 Morty, how's that book working out for you, 308 00:12:29,470 --> 00:12:31,519 you d-d-dumb-ass? 309 00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:36,350 Huh. You know what? You're right. 310 00:12:36,357 --> 00:12:38,679 I could get used to this magic stuff. 311 00:12:46,530 --> 00:12:48,700 There's Balthromaw. 312 00:12:48,703 --> 00:12:50,070 Check this shit out. Watch this. 313 00:12:50,076 --> 00:12:51,239 Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't even look. 314 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,369 Don't even bother looking. 315 00:12:52,370 --> 00:12:54,207 Just let magic guide your arrow. 316 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,119 Summer, what the hell are you doing? 317 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,409 - Take this seriously. - Shut the up, Morty. 318 00:12:58,410 --> 00:13:00,949 Stop trying to pretend like magic involves skill or thought. 319 00:13:00,950 --> 00:13:02,799 Summer, make it look like it's coming out of your butthole. 320 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,926 Yeah, yeah. 321 00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:06,260 Ah! 322 00:13:06,262 --> 00:13:09,509 Oh, my eye, oh! 323 00:13:09,510 --> 00:13:12,409 What in the Medieval equivalent of tarnation... 324 00:13:12,410 --> 00:13:14,330 Jesus Christ! 325 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,120 Summer, you idiot! 326 00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,779 Power of 12 feet. 327 00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:19,329 Uh, ow, 328 00:13:19,330 --> 00:13:20,483 I take it all back! 329 00:13:20,484 --> 00:13:22,640 I hate magic! 330 00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:27,239 Ah! 331 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:28,283 Slut thief! 332 00:13:28,284 --> 00:13:30,452 You're a slut thief! 333 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:35,409 Pretty fun boat, fun people. 334 00:13:35,410 --> 00:13:38,769 That's great, not being asked why I can talk. 335 00:13:38,770 --> 00:13:42,589 I'm a talking cat, but "Who cares why?" is my point. 336 00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:46,093 Well, nice talking to you for no reason. 337 00:13:47,727 --> 00:13:49,260 Jorge, that was a good one, 338 00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:51,169 but do you know what a peanut butter gargoyle is? 339 00:13:51,170 --> 00:13:52,350 Nah, what's that? 340 00:13:52,355 --> 00:13:54,260 Dude, it's when you take the chick, 341 00:13:54,269 --> 00:13:56,309 - put her feet on a cathedral... - Sorry to interrupt, guys. 342 00:13:56,310 --> 00:13:59,400 Just want to clarify, are these real sex positions? 343 00:13:59,409 --> 00:14:00,720 Because if they are, 344 00:14:00,722 --> 00:14:03,079 how are they gratifying to the male at all? 345 00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,119 And if the goal is to make something up, 346 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:08,819 why not make up something... funnier? 347 00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:12,079 I'm asking too many questions, aren't I? 348 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,619 How ironic. 349 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:14,849 Get out of Florida, 350 00:14:14,850 --> 00:14:16,170 - you overthinking cat. - Why don't you go overthink 351 00:14:16,179 --> 00:14:17,919 up north in Georgia? 352 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:19,335 Hate that cat. 353 00:14:28,850 --> 00:14:30,730 You got any money for a cab? 354 00:14:30,734 --> 00:14:32,240 Why ask questions? 355 00:14:32,242 --> 00:14:33,869 Why not just have fun? 356 00:14:33,870 --> 00:14:35,433 I deserve that. 357 00:14:35,434 --> 00:14:38,180 Attention, citizens of Draygon, 358 00:14:38,184 --> 00:14:41,010 a slut dragon has escaped. 359 00:14:41,012 --> 00:14:44,340 Anyone caught harboring it is also a slut. 360 00:14:44,348 --> 00:14:45,950 - That's how it goes. - Ow, my eye. 361 00:14:45,957 --> 00:14:48,860 It pains me that you can feel my pain. 362 00:14:48,863 --> 00:14:49,989 Yeah, how about you suck your. 363 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,980 Which is also somehow my? 364 00:14:51,981 --> 00:14:55,499 Aw, why can't couples that start out cheating ever end up happy? 365 00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:56,549 M-Maybe I can find 366 00:14:56,550 --> 00:14:59,010 that wizard's portal spell in here and g-get us home. 367 00:14:59,012 --> 00:15:00,760 How about finding the spell that unbinds me 368 00:15:00,762 --> 00:15:01,990 from your dragon? 369 00:15:01,996 --> 00:15:03,962 No spells can do that. 370 00:15:03,963 --> 00:15:06,423 Only the wizard can unbind soul bonds. 371 00:15:06,424 --> 00:15:07,465 Uh, who the are you? 372 00:15:07,466 --> 00:15:09,140 Who are we? Who the are you, bitch? 373 00:15:09,145 --> 00:15:11,669 Debrah, stop. We are the slut dragons. 374 00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:13,789 We live in these slut caves where we, 375 00:15:13,790 --> 00:15:16,850 suck, and eat and we kindly ask that you leave. 376 00:15:16,851 --> 00:15:19,310 If the wizard knows we are here, he will imprison us. 377 00:15:19,311 --> 00:15:20,650 Yeah! We like it down here 378 00:15:20,652 --> 00:15:22,979 'cause we can woolly mammoths. Get out! 379 00:15:22,980 --> 00:15:24,509 - Get the out of here, Michael! - Shut up, Michael! 380 00:15:24,510 --> 00:15:26,050 You're the only one that that thing. 381 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,193 Get the out of here. 382 00:15:27,194 --> 00:15:29,089 Well, at least I'm not into play. 383 00:15:29,090 --> 00:15:30,209 - you! - Hey, wait! 384 00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:31,810 Everybody stop, stop! 385 00:15:31,817 --> 00:15:33,283 Listen, this is all my fault. 386 00:15:33,284 --> 00:15:36,080 I started all this when I tried to control Balthromaw, 387 00:15:36,082 --> 00:15:37,320 and that was up. 388 00:15:37,324 --> 00:15:38,909 Nobody should control anyone, 389 00:15:38,910 --> 00:15:40,519 especially that guy up there. 390 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,049 And, um, you can eat if you want, I guess. 391 00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:44,249 - I, uh... - I got this, Morty. 392 00:15:44,250 --> 00:15:46,030 Okay, listen up, slut dragons! 393 00:15:46,035 --> 00:15:47,789 Wouldn't you rather be sluts up there, 394 00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:50,289 have a world instead of a cave? 395 00:15:50,290 --> 00:15:51,369 What's wrong with you? 396 00:15:51,370 --> 00:15:53,790 This man with a ponytail makes a valid point. 397 00:15:53,793 --> 00:15:56,589 All dragons are sluts deep down, even the ones up above, 398 00:15:56,590 --> 00:15:58,709 but we would have to kill the wizard to be free. 399 00:15:58,710 --> 00:15:59,910 He is too powerful. 400 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,369 There is a way to kill the wizard. 401 00:16:02,370 --> 00:16:04,353 Whoa. Who's this mysterious character? 402 00:16:04,354 --> 00:16:06,069 Shadow Jacker, you haven't come out 403 00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:07,734 of your masturbation cave in eons. 404 00:16:07,735 --> 00:16:11,090 It's high time I emerge from my cocoon. 405 00:16:11,092 --> 00:16:13,459 I grow tired of eavesdropping and masturbating 406 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:14,859 to the sounds you all make. 407 00:16:14,860 --> 00:16:17,009 Jesus Christ. All right. C-Could use a little more mystery. 408 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:18,743 Oh, oh, just now seeing the staff. 409 00:16:18,744 --> 00:16:22,069 We've never had enough sluts to defeat the wizard. 410 00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:24,569 Now, with the four fresh, wet sluts 411 00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:28,296 that just landed on our doorstep, we finally have a chance. 412 00:16:28,297 --> 00:16:30,006 So killing the wizard will break my soul bond. 413 00:16:30,007 --> 00:16:32,600 Yes, it solves all of our problems. 414 00:16:32,606 --> 00:16:34,843 We must begin a 10-slut soul orgy... 415 00:16:34,844 --> 00:16:37,129 - Wait, wait, what? - ... and become the all-slut 416 00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,719 slut phoenix dragon, 417 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:39,829 - Slut. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. 418 00:16:39,830 --> 00:16:41,789 Hold on. There's got to be something else in here. 419 00:16:41,790 --> 00:16:43,186 There's got to be another way. Just give me a second. 420 00:16:43,187 --> 00:16:44,939 I haven't read all this yet. 421 00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:48,942 - Oh! - Oh, my God. 422 00:16:48,943 --> 00:16:50,779 Maybe don't tell your parents we did this? 423 00:17:14,802 --> 00:17:17,599 Oh, oh, no. Oh... wait, please, no! 424 00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:19,222 Ice spell! Ice spell! 425 00:17:19,223 --> 00:17:21,169 Oh, God! 426 00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:22,800 That just made it last longer. 427 00:17:22,803 --> 00:17:24,249 Ah, it burns longer! 428 00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:25,938 Ah, I could have died fast! 429 00:17:30,442 --> 00:17:31,639 Thank you, strangers. 430 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,630 Well, it's your world now. Have fun with empowerment. 431 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,619 It seems to make everyone that gets it really happy. 432 00:17:35,620 --> 00:17:38,569 All right, guys. I'll use this to open a portal. 433 00:17:38,570 --> 00:17:40,570 Uh, open a portal to Earth. 434 00:17:41,504 --> 00:17:43,246 Let's get the hell out of here fast. 435 00:17:43,247 --> 00:17:44,689 God, look at this piece of. 436 00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:47,376 Why is there writing on it? Who writes on a portal? 437 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,069 Should've taken me up on those Wolverine claws instead, Morty. 438 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,798 Wait, why did the dragon come? 439 00:17:53,799 --> 00:17:56,009 I was thinking we could hang out? 440 00:17:56,010 --> 00:17:57,909 Oh, yeah. Whoa, Jesus. 441 00:17:57,910 --> 00:18:00,139 Your dad's been texting me this whole time? 442 00:18:00,140 --> 00:18:02,009 Uh, he's at an airport with a cat. 443 00:18:02,010 --> 00:18:03,830 Okay, that... That sounds... wow. 444 00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:04,940 You know, I better check on him. 445 00:18:04,942 --> 00:18:06,709 Big season finale right there, you know? 446 00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,069 Better, uh... Better go right now. 447 00:18:08,070 --> 00:18:09,929 Also, I told you not to get a dragon, Morty. 448 00:18:09,930 --> 00:18:11,099 This is your fault. You, 449 00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,180 - worst adventure ever. - Worst adventure ever. 450 00:18:13,186 --> 00:18:16,349 Yeah, uh, I guess you better be on your way too, Balthromaw. 451 00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,100 Well, I've been thinking. 452 00:18:18,105 --> 00:18:21,670 What you said back there in the cave really resonated with me. 453 00:18:21,676 --> 00:18:23,489 Maybe we could try again? 454 00:18:23,490 --> 00:18:24,949 Look, to be honest, I'm kind of grossed out 455 00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:27,239 with the sexual nature of how everything unfolded. 456 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,169 I didn't know how sexual dragons were. 457 00:18:29,170 --> 00:18:31,502 I kind of just wanted to do some D&D stuff, you know? 458 00:18:31,503 --> 00:18:33,849 And have a soul orgy with your sister and grandpa 459 00:18:33,850 --> 00:18:35,381 and every dragon we could find, yeah? 460 00:18:35,382 --> 00:18:37,449 No, look, can you please just go? 461 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,093 I-I-I really want to shower. 462 00:18:39,094 --> 00:18:40,971 Maybe a quick soul bone before I go. 463 00:18:40,972 --> 00:18:42,149 I-I-I-I'm good. 464 00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:43,559 I think I just need to be alone 465 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,350 and sort of un... unpack all this. 466 00:18:45,351 --> 00:18:46,739 What about your grandpa? 467 00:18:46,740 --> 00:18:48,189 Would he want to? I can wait. 468 00:18:48,190 --> 00:18:49,680 No, I think you better go. 469 00:18:49,686 --> 00:18:51,354 I-I'm gonna take that shower. 470 00:18:51,355 --> 00:18:53,949 If it's just warm liquid you want trickled over your body, 471 00:18:53,950 --> 00:18:55,289 - I could maybe... - No, no, look. 472 00:18:55,290 --> 00:18:56,349 I just want to be clean! 473 00:18:56,350 --> 00:18:58,780 I-I-I feel dirty after everything that's happened. 474 00:18:58,781 --> 00:19:01,559 How about a quick hand bond? 475 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:03,569 - I like doing it. - You're embarrassing yourself. 476 00:19:03,570 --> 00:19:05,809 I-I-I'm closing the door. 477 00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:08,450 soul teasers. 478 00:19:08,457 --> 00:19:10,249 This is a cool car. I like having fun. 479 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,429 That's what I'm talking about. Keep it moving. 480 00:19:12,430 --> 00:19:13,790 Don't ask why I can talk. 481 00:19:13,795 --> 00:19:15,419 - Mm, mm, mm. - Uh-huh. 482 00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:17,410 For sure. For sure. 483 00:19:18,589 --> 00:19:19,689 Where are we going? 484 00:19:19,690 --> 00:19:21,869 Quantum radiator might need some nanowater. 485 00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,346 We... We can stretch our legs. 486 00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:32,150 So, uh, why can you talk? 487 00:19:33,063 --> 00:19:34,210 What is this? 488 00:19:34,219 --> 00:19:36,524 I need you in one spot for a clean mind scan. 489 00:19:36,525 --> 00:19:38,689 Mind scan? Look, you're overthinking it. 490 00:19:38,690 --> 00:19:40,862 The point of a talking cat is to have fun. 491 00:19:40,863 --> 00:19:42,910 I find the insinuation that I can't ask questions 492 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,850 and have fun condescending. 493 00:19:44,860 --> 00:19:47,529 - Y-You find it condescending, Jerry? - Yes. 494 00:19:47,530 --> 00:19:48,809 All right. I'm from outer space. 495 00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:50,019 - Happy? - No. 496 00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:52,414 Exactly, because no answer would be satisfying. 497 00:19:52,415 --> 00:19:53,589 Because it's a lie. 498 00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:55,050 Let's see the truth. 499 00:19:55,838 --> 00:19:57,329 What in the... 500 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,939 Oh, son of a bitch. 501 00:20:01,940 --> 00:20:03,450 - Jerry, don't. - I want to see. 502 00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:05,220 No, you do not. 503 00:20:07,725 --> 00:20:11,190 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 504 00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:14,230 - At least now maybe... - Get the hell out of here! 505 00:20:14,231 --> 00:20:15,760 - But I've got nowhere to go. - Get out! 506 00:20:15,761 --> 00:20:17,549 - Get out! - Get out! 507 00:20:25,406 --> 00:20:29,940 He was in my home where I keep photos of my parents. 508 00:20:29,941 --> 00:20:31,259 Jerry, I have a device. 509 00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:32,469 I-It can make us forget. 510 00:20:32,470 --> 00:20:35,299 No, I don't think we should forget, 511 00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,789 not this. 512 00:20:36,790 --> 00:20:38,949 Someone has to remember. 513 00:20:38,950 --> 00:20:40,850 Someone will. 514 00:20:42,617 --> 00:20:43,926 Did we crash? 515 00:20:43,927 --> 00:20:45,169 Where's the cat? 516 00:20:45,170 --> 00:20:46,930 He, uh, ran away. 517 00:20:46,940 --> 00:20:49,029 - Did you scan his brain? - Yeah. 518 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:50,610 Did you find out why he can talk? 519 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,169 He's from outer space. 520 00:20:52,170 --> 00:20:53,936 Outer space? 521 00:20:53,937 --> 00:20:56,089 That little... 522 00:20:56,090 --> 00:20:58,870 Of course, total mind. 523 00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:04,650 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 524 00:21:35,330 --> 00:21:37,270 Now, that's what I call draggin'. 525 00:21:37,272 --> 00:21:38,850 What? It's a joke. 526 00:21:38,860 --> 00:21:41,025 You're a dragon draggin' your stuff. 527 00:21:41,026 --> 00:21:42,568 I understand. 528 00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:44,403 So, how you doing? 529 00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:46,531 I grow weary of you humans. 530 00:21:46,532 --> 00:21:48,859 How about 50 bucks? You weary of 50 bucks? 531 00:21:48,860 --> 00:21:50,089 I'm trying to cheat on my wife. 532 00:21:50,090 --> 00:21:52,289 I'm looking for a little magic, a little fantasy. 533 00:21:52,290 --> 00:21:53,299 You could use some help. 534 00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:55,290 Let's help each other, huh? 50 bucks. 535 00:21:58,864 --> 00:22:00,089 Slut. 536 00:22:00,090 --> 00:22:01,329 Nice. 537 00:22:01,330 --> 00:22:03,131 Is there a reason you can speak? 538 00:22:03,132 --> 00:22:05,883 Yeah, and I'm ashamed of it. 539 00:22:05,884 --> 00:22:08,159 Then speak of it no more. 540 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,349 Do you wish to eat, maybe bond a little? 541 00:22:11,350 --> 00:22:13,460 Yeah, I could bond. 542 00:22:13,465 --> 00:22:15,435 How long does it take you to fly to Florida?