1 00:00:02,310 --> 00:00:05,129 Rick, I-I'm not rated to climb something this sheer. 2 00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:07,269 Look, you're the guy that wanted an epic adventure. 3 00:00:07,270 --> 00:00:09,269 I'm the guy with only one hover chair. 4 00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:11,499 Goddammit, an alien spider just bit my finger! 5 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:12,619 It's an alien cliff. 6 00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:13,940 You can just say spider. 7 00:00:15,710 --> 00:00:18,169 You couldn't do that an hour ago? 8 00:00:18,170 --> 00:00:19,939 I was eating, and you're dirty. 9 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,649 Activate anti-booby suits. 10 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:40,872 Total waste of snakes. 11 00:00:40,873 --> 00:00:42,189 If you want to take a beat 12 00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:43,869 to acknowledge the sacred atmosphere, 13 00:00:43,870 --> 00:00:45,569 it could give the cynical grave robbing 14 00:00:45,570 --> 00:00:46,589 a hint of irreverence. 15 00:00:46,590 --> 00:00:48,029 - No, I'm... I'm good. - All right, then. 16 00:00:48,030 --> 00:00:49,320 Let's loop this corpse. 17 00:00:51,646 --> 00:00:53,109 Hey, where's the... 18 00:00:53,110 --> 00:00:54,589 Wait, what? 19 00:00:54,590 --> 00:00:55,829 Is that an origami horse? 20 00:00:55,830 --> 00:00:58,169 It's a calling card from Miles Knightley, 21 00:00:58,170 --> 00:00:59,769 a heist artist, 22 00:00:59,770 --> 00:01:01,089 AKA a hipster dick 23 00:01:01,090 --> 00:01:03,429 whose adventures are 60% putting a crew together 24 00:01:03,430 --> 00:01:05,509 and 40% revealing that the robbery already happened, 25 00:01:05,510 --> 00:01:06,649 and he's not worth our time 26 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,989 because he's a hack piece of shit! 27 00:01:07,990 --> 00:01:09,969 I'm gonna kill him! Let's go, Morty. 28 00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:13,329 This temple's for lame baby dipshits. 29 00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:16,229 Who disturbs my slumber? 30 00:01:16,230 --> 00:01:19,309 Also, who rigs a tomb to crush the buried person? 31 00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:21,414 Isn't the point to protect... Aah! 32 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,929 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 33 00:01:56,370 --> 00:01:59,749 This dork. He has a convention now? 34 00:01:59,750 --> 00:02:00,836 Come on. What are we doing? 35 00:02:00,837 --> 00:02:03,149 Huh! Tuxedo scuba lessons? Ooh! 36 00:02:03,150 --> 00:02:06,709 A signing with Catherines Alpha through Omega Joneses! 37 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,209 You know, this is great source material 38 00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:09,553 for this heist movie that I'm writing. 39 00:02:09,580 --> 00:02:11,309 Don't get drawn into the culture, Morty. 40 00:02:11,310 --> 00:02:13,790 Stealing stuff is about the stuff, not the stealing. 41 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,250 Where is the entrance? 42 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,761 Oh, brother. 43 00:02:18,990 --> 00:02:21,724 More like Trying Too Hard Con. 44 00:02:22,770 --> 00:02:24,199 Guests or professionals? 45 00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:26,600 - Uh, guests. - Uh... Uh, guests are fans, Morty, 46 00:02:26,610 --> 00:02:29,000 which we are not. We'd like professional badges. 47 00:02:29,010 --> 00:02:30,580 - Do you have a crew? - Yes. 48 00:02:30,590 --> 00:02:32,370 He's a getaway driver with Asperger's, 49 00:02:32,380 --> 00:02:34,769 and my butthole is a demolitions expert. 50 00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:35,940 How much is it to get in? 51 00:02:35,950 --> 00:02:37,839 If you want professional badges, 52 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:39,149 you need to put a crew together. 53 00:02:39,150 --> 00:02:41,140 Or we could sneak in like professionals. 54 00:02:41,150 --> 00:02:43,070 - Can't wait. - Whoa! 55 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,270 Oh, for God's sake. 56 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,499 And you wonder why we aren't fans. 57 00:02:48,500 --> 00:02:51,280 Let that ointment sit for 10 minutes or you'll die. 58 00:02:51,290 --> 00:02:52,880 Don't let it sit for 12 59 00:02:52,890 --> 00:02:54,620 or I'll have to hunt down what you become. 60 00:02:54,630 --> 00:02:56,280 Can't you just buy a guest badge? 61 00:02:56,290 --> 00:02:57,400 you for asking, Morty. 62 00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:58,820 That would be a symbolic expression 63 00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:00,380 of support for this genre. 64 00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:01,460 Then how do we get in? 65 00:03:01,470 --> 00:03:03,890 With a little help from some old friends. 66 00:03:07,370 --> 00:03:09,760 Rick Sanchez, you son of a bitch! 67 00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:11,700 Need some people for a thing, Glar. 68 00:03:11,710 --> 00:03:13,520 My name's Gleer these days. 69 00:03:13,530 --> 00:03:14,969 I play piano. 70 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,989 Hey, Gleer. Play your piano. 71 00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:19,310 I quit! Augh! 72 00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:23,870 And the name's Glar! 73 00:03:28,300 --> 00:03:31,040 Sanchez, you son of a bitch. 74 00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:33,150 Never thought I'd see Angie Flint 75 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:34,555 picking ticks off a pig. 76 00:03:34,580 --> 00:03:36,090 Nobody's hiring an ex-con 77 00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:38,099 with fake hands to build an ion engine. 78 00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:40,800 Suppose I had a job that didn't care if you'd done time 79 00:03:40,810 --> 00:03:43,690 or whatever's going on with your confusing-ass hands. 80 00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:45,430 I'm in. 81 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,030 Is this the guy? 82 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:50,550 No. 83 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,420 - That the guy? - Nope. 84 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:55,250 - Him? - No. 85 00:03:55,260 --> 00:03:56,570 No, wait. Y-Yes. 86 00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:57,779 Yeah, of course that's the guy. 87 00:03:57,780 --> 00:03:59,390 Hey... Hey, Truckula! 88 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,530 You son of a bitch! I'm in! 89 00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:11,870 Thanks for doing this, guys. 90 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,340 - It's the job. - That was it. Bye. 91 00:04:16,060 --> 00:04:19,840 And then, the police stole the paintings 92 00:04:19,850 --> 00:04:23,919 because the police were us in police outfits. 93 00:04:23,920 --> 00:04:24,939 Thank you! 94 00:04:24,940 --> 00:04:26,570 It's showtime, Morty, 95 00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:28,470 and I don't mean a bad impression of HBO. 96 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,370 I mean, "Time for a show." 97 00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:32,770 Another heist question from a fan? 98 00:04:32,780 --> 00:04:33,940 Uh, how about a rhetorical one 99 00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:36,449 from someone that had to be reminded that you exist? 100 00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:39,400 Hey, pal! That's not the question line! 101 00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,130 Lab coat... Ripoff Dr. Strange. 102 00:04:42,140 --> 00:04:43,619 Wha... 103 00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:47,800 Rick Sanchez, everyone. Smartest man in the universe. 104 00:04:47,810 --> 00:04:50,270 And a savage critic of the heisting arts. 105 00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,670 Your boos mean nothing! 106 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:52,919 I've seen what makes you cheer! 107 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:55,710 My question is, "Seriously?" 108 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,350 Lab coat... end ripoff. 109 00:04:57,360 --> 00:04:58,410 Aah! 110 00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,750 You stole the gem I needed to split tachyons 111 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,510 and probably fenced it so the 80 people 112 00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:04,470 that did all the work could each buy a beer. 113 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,309 You're not an artist, you're Postmates. 114 00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:09,030 I doubt this rivalry can be settled with words. 115 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,490 Why don't we make things interesting? 116 00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:15,870 I challenge you to a heist of the crystal skull of Horowitz. 117 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:19,230 In a heist off! 118 00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,680 That doesn't make things interesting. 119 00:05:20,690 --> 00:05:23,450 It makes them "Ocean's Twelve," by far the worst one. 120 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:25,590 Every breath I take without your permission 121 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:27,200 raises my self-esteem! 122 00:05:27,210 --> 00:05:28,610 State your terms. 123 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:30,650 First crew to heist the skull wins. 124 00:05:30,660 --> 00:05:33,310 The other endures heist culture's greatest shame. 125 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,175 They must join the winning crew. 126 00:05:35,176 --> 00:05:36,920 Lame. I accept. 127 00:05:36,930 --> 00:05:38,721 Please welcome Knightley's Eight! 128 00:05:38,730 --> 00:05:41,339 Snake Arms! Double Microwave! 129 00:05:41,340 --> 00:05:43,170 Monitor Lord! Key Catcher! 130 00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:45,350 The Shape Shiftress! Angie Flint! 131 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,340 - Glar! And Truckula. - Hey! 132 00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:48,450 Half of Knightley's Eight 133 00:05:48,460 --> 00:05:50,330 are just three of Sanchez's Five! 134 00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:52,730 Well, no heist is complete without a double cross, 135 00:05:52,740 --> 00:05:54,470 and I had the perfect job. 136 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,280 Heisting the crystal skull. 137 00:05:58,290 --> 00:06:00,080 That was it. Bye. 138 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:05,520 Looks like you're available for a job. 139 00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:34,510 With Rick Sanchez on my team, I'll be unstoppable. 140 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:37,510 Rick, welcome to Knightley's Nine. 141 00:06:37,520 --> 00:06:39,439 Ugh, ugh! 142 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:40,950 Ugh! Rick, for real? 143 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,590 Eh. You got that skull, buddy? 144 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:44,380 What? How? 145 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:48,100 With a little help from some old friends. 146 00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:54,200 Heistotron, state your prime directive? 147 00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:55,210 To heist. 148 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,390 Calculate Miles Knightley's current heist plan 149 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,270 and add one double-cross with a switcheroo. 150 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,990 Compiling crew members most likely to double-cross. 151 00:07:05,290 --> 00:07:07,460 God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? 152 00:07:08,390 --> 00:07:10,010 Rick, I-I want to say goodbye. 153 00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:11,820 Don't turn around. I'll explain later. 154 00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:14,649 Looks like you're available for a job. 155 00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:19,400 Your skills are required for a job. 156 00:07:20,770 --> 00:07:23,659 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 157 00:07:23,660 --> 00:07:25,900 Man, this is really coming together. 158 00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:27,710 You know, Rick, I've been busy working on writing... 159 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,130 A heist script. Yeah, you almost never bring it up. 160 00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:32,500 Oh, we... we should head over. 161 00:07:32,510 --> 00:07:33,830 Hey, guys. What do you got? 162 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:34,840 Pretty! 163 00:07:34,850 --> 00:07:36,090 Morty, put this in your backpack. 164 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:37,660 Grandpa's gonna run to the bathroom. 165 00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:39,570 Ugh. Wasn't even a heist. 166 00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:40,673 All you did was... 167 00:07:40,674 --> 00:07:43,360 Write an algorithm based on two heist movies I slept through 168 00:07:43,370 --> 00:07:46,070 and used it to automate a joyless process you call art? 169 00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:47,840 Yeah, I really did, didn't I? 170 00:07:47,850 --> 00:07:50,590 So I'm in your crew now? 171 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,430 Yeah, well, you're in good company. 172 00:07:52,440 --> 00:07:53,897 Right, everybody? 173 00:07:53,900 --> 00:07:55,090 Yes. 174 00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:56,470 My God. 175 00:07:57,780 --> 00:08:00,520 Your skills are required for a job. 176 00:08:02,620 --> 00:08:03,850 You son of a bitch. 177 00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:04,970 - I'm in. - What? 178 00:08:04,980 --> 00:08:07,110 Your skills are required for a job. 179 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,010 No, they aren't. 180 00:08:09,020 --> 00:08:11,320 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 181 00:08:11,330 --> 00:08:14,084 Your skills are required for a job. 182 00:08:14,085 --> 00:08:16,530 Sanchez's 3,329? 183 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:17,619 Yes. 184 00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:19,020 Your next big score... 185 00:08:19,030 --> 00:08:22,180 Steal every square inch of Heistcon. 186 00:08:25,690 --> 00:08:27,420 Oh! Ah! 187 00:08:27,430 --> 00:08:30,110 Oh, my God. Hey! That's my wallet! Oh, God! 188 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,270 Oh, my God! Jesus. Oh, my God. 189 00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:33,570 Oh, 190 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:34,870 Holy. Alright. 191 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,770 Look, Morty, I did not know that that was gonna happen. 192 00:08:36,780 --> 00:08:39,310 That's not on me. Come on, Morty. Let's go. 193 00:08:44,180 --> 00:08:45,850 Good job, Heistotron. 194 00:08:45,860 --> 00:08:47,440 Ah! Go ahead and shut down. 195 00:08:47,450 --> 00:08:48,951 - Negative. - Excuse me? 196 00:08:48,952 --> 00:08:52,456 I am programmed to always be looking for the next big score. 197 00:08:52,457 --> 00:08:54,690 You're programmed to do as I say. 198 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,690 I am programmed to double-cross. 199 00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,462 You're not programmed to double-cross me. 200 00:08:58,470 --> 00:09:01,340 If I were, it wouldn't be much of a double-cross. 201 00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:05,250 You son of a bitch. I'm in. 202 00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:08,880 I'm in! I'm in! 203 00:09:08,890 --> 00:09:10,270 What's the job? I'm in. 204 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,670 I'm out! I quit! 205 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:12,851 Whose kidneys are these? 206 00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,179 Rick, w-what's happening? 207 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:18,150 Heistotron's gone rogue. If we don't stop them, 208 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:19,940 all sentient life will be absorbed 209 00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:22,350 by the never-ending assembly of a meaningless crew. 210 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,430 That's my hell, Morty. 211 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,780 I hate heists so much, 212 00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:26,613 and the crew assemblies are the worst part! 213 00:09:26,614 --> 00:09:28,220 Oh! How are we gonna stop it? 214 00:09:28,230 --> 00:09:32,610 With a little help from some old friends. 215 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:37,840 Oooo, weee! 216 00:09:37,850 --> 00:09:39,390 Before this semester's over, 217 00:09:39,410 --> 00:09:41,700 you're gonna be real sick of that phrase. 218 00:09:43,030 --> 00:09:45,380 So. Who here thinks they already know 219 00:09:45,390 --> 00:09:47,090 the work of Maya Angelou? 220 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:50,550 Ooo wee? 221 00:09:56,820 --> 00:09:58,480 Ooo wee wa! 222 00:09:58,490 --> 00:10:01,160 Ah, ooo wee! 223 00:10:01,170 --> 00:10:02,980 Told you, Morty. 224 00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:04,400 He's still got it. 225 00:10:04,410 --> 00:10:06,340 You sons of bitches. 226 00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,573 What's the job? 227 00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:18,499 You son of a bitch. 228 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:19,760 We got a job, Hephaestus, 229 00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,336 and there's no time to argue about it. 230 00:10:21,337 --> 00:10:23,140 I work in a volcano. 231 00:10:23,150 --> 00:10:25,599 What jobs do you think I've ever turned down? 232 00:10:28,070 --> 00:10:30,590 Excuse me! Are you Veltriloquiver? 233 00:10:32,150 --> 00:10:34,200 Rick Sanchez, I presume. 234 00:10:34,210 --> 00:10:36,010 Wow. As advertised. 235 00:10:36,020 --> 00:10:38,140 A "yes" would've sufficed. 236 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,560 Guys, you're doing a great job 237 00:10:41,570 --> 00:10:43,025 getting these new Tusklas out the door, 238 00:10:43,030 --> 00:10:45,170 and we owe it all to everyone's input. 239 00:10:46,194 --> 00:10:47,689 Elon Tusk. 240 00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:48,940 Listen, we need your help. 241 00:10:48,950 --> 00:10:50,999 Rick. Morty. Why me? 242 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,324 Did something happen to Elon Musk in your own reality? 243 00:10:53,325 --> 00:10:56,390 No, no, no, he's fine, but this is a team oper-ation, 244 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,540 and regular Elon can be a little bit controlling. 245 00:10:58,550 --> 00:11:01,740 Growing up with tusks did pose social challenges. 246 00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:03,140 It's possible overcoming them 247 00:11:03,150 --> 00:11:05,780 raised my self-esteem and incentivized collaboration. 248 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,610 Yeah, or you're less sure of yourself 249 00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:08,700 because you have monster teeth. 250 00:11:08,710 --> 00:11:10,140 An equally valid theory. 251 00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:12,020 Let's talk over here. 252 00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,240 How serious is the situation? 253 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,320 Incredibly serious, and every minute counts. 254 00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:18,350 In that case, I'm sorry 255 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:19,750 I made you move over here for no reason. 256 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,820 Well, yeah. That was a little weird. 257 00:11:21,830 --> 00:11:22,920 It's exactly that kind of shit 258 00:11:22,930 --> 00:11:24,430 that made us worry about regular Elon. 259 00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:25,940 Well, we're not opposites, okay? 260 00:11:25,950 --> 00:11:27,200 I'm just him with tusks. 261 00:11:30,330 --> 00:11:32,859 Casing of planet initiated. 262 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,140 Hello there. 263 00:11:34,150 --> 00:11:37,663 We are just here to check your water pressure. 264 00:11:41,583 --> 00:11:44,459 Hmm. Interesting intel. 265 00:11:44,460 --> 00:11:47,040 It appears some giant hidden camera 266 00:11:47,050 --> 00:11:48,680 has been dropped on the planet, 267 00:11:48,690 --> 00:11:51,080 killing an estimated total of 57,000. 268 00:11:51,090 --> 00:11:53,640 Executing heist. 269 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:57,220 People of Brandenplot, 270 00:11:57,230 --> 00:12:00,650 we are here to deliver that pizza you ordered. 271 00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:16,520 Well, if that's how you really feel, 272 00:12:16,530 --> 00:12:18,730 I guess I should take the pizza back. 273 00:12:20,610 --> 00:12:22,530 I think we got away with it. 274 00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:25,760 Commencing getting out of here before they get wise. 275 00:12:25,770 --> 00:12:27,087 Assembling calling card. 276 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,480 At this point, Heistotron has become large enough 277 00:12:34,490 --> 00:12:36,049 to heist entire planets. 278 00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:38,080 Wouldn't this be better with a blueprint on the table? 279 00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:40,299 Blueprints are plans, Elon Tusk, 280 00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:42,620 and whatever we plan will be canceled out 281 00:12:42,630 --> 00:12:46,481 by Heistotron's reveal that our plan was part of its plan. 282 00:12:46,482 --> 00:12:48,525 That's why I picked this crew at random 283 00:12:48,526 --> 00:12:52,780 and why all of us will be taking our orders from Randotron. 284 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,590 Let's get ready to not rumble. 285 00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:58,220 Bet you didn't see that coming. 286 00:12:58,230 --> 00:13:00,390 Instead of two heist movies I slept through, 287 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,230 Randotron's algorithm is derived 288 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,230 from the plots of three David Lynch movies 289 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,419 I pretended to like to make my friends shut up. 290 00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:09,370 If our collective behavior is just random enough, 291 00:13:09,380 --> 00:13:11,370 we should be able to walk through Heistotron's 292 00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:13,841 lazily contrived bull like it's not even there. 293 00:13:13,842 --> 00:13:15,830 - Sounds good. - I don't really get it, 294 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,750 but it sounds like that's the point. 295 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,570 So you didn't need a blacksmith? 296 00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:20,760 We're ready when you are, Rick. 297 00:13:20,770 --> 00:13:23,220 It's important our non-plan starts randomly, 298 00:13:23,230 --> 00:13:25,850 so we have to wait until we're not ready. 299 00:13:25,860 --> 00:13:26,960 W-Well, how long will that take? 300 00:13:26,970 --> 00:13:28,650 Obviously, we can't know that. 301 00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:30,250 Can we do things while we wait? 302 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:33,010 Yes. I'm gonna play Minecraft. 303 00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,060 Oh, my kids play that. 304 00:13:34,070 --> 00:13:36,770 I don't like these little jabs you get in, Elon. 305 00:13:38,470 --> 00:13:39,609 Strange. 306 00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,390 Considering the time, Cassiopeia's primary star 307 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,831 should be collinear with Orion and Ursa Minor. 308 00:13:45,990 --> 00:13:47,940 You don't shoot arrows that carry your voice 309 00:13:47,950 --> 00:13:49,628 without picking up a little astronomy. 310 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:50,870 Wait a minute. 311 00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:52,039 Jesus, no. 312 00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:54,610 No! No! We've already been heisted! 313 00:13:54,620 --> 00:13:56,929 How could Heistotron heist us if he's not even here yet? 314 00:13:56,930 --> 00:13:58,290 He's already been here! 315 00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:01,370 We've been watching a recorded sky on playback. 316 00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:02,750 Hello, Rick. 317 00:14:10,730 --> 00:14:13,220 - Okay, guys, change of plans. - Random time detected. 318 00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:14,810 No, Randotron, it's not a good time! 319 00:14:14,820 --> 00:14:16,090 That's why it's random. 320 00:14:58,620 --> 00:15:00,190 Ooh! 321 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,280 21? 322 00:15:02,290 --> 00:15:04,490 22? 323 00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:06,280 Oooo weee, oooo weee, sold! 324 00:15:06,290 --> 00:15:09,100 Oooo weee, that little hunk of meat's going home to pappy! 325 00:15:12,130 --> 00:15:13,919 I've been expecting you, Rick. 326 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,040 But not like this, right? 327 00:15:16,050 --> 00:15:17,210 It hardly matters. 328 00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,870 Oh, yeah. Does this? 329 00:15:22,430 --> 00:15:25,320 No. Your randomness does not confuse me. 330 00:15:25,330 --> 00:15:26,391 You are here now. 331 00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:27,890 That was the plan. 332 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:30,440 I know. It was part of mine, too. 333 00:15:30,450 --> 00:15:31,812 I've got something to tell you. 334 00:15:31,813 --> 00:15:34,750 Let me guess. When you invented me and Randotron, 335 00:15:34,760 --> 00:15:35,939 you swapped our brains. 336 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,090 That's right, buddy. 337 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:41,989 You're not the one that's very good at planning. 338 00:15:41,990 --> 00:15:44,159 You've been making this up the whole time. 339 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,659 Rick, I think there's something you should know. 340 00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:49,830 God damn it, Morty, what did I tell you? 341 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,530 That is something I should know, 342 00:15:51,540 --> 00:15:54,752 or at least something I should have predicted, which I did. 343 00:15:54,753 --> 00:15:57,590 Hey, Rick, I was thinking maybe we could, like, raid a temple 344 00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:59,530 and go on an epic adventure later today, you know, like... 345 00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:01,790 Morty, get out of my head. I know just the temple. 346 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:04,054 And we'll grab a couple of hover chairs on the way there. 347 00:16:04,055 --> 00:16:05,490 Impressive. 348 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,130 But what does it even matter 349 00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:08,810 if I'm random or planned? 350 00:16:08,820 --> 00:16:11,639 My heists will still rule. 351 00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,350 Well, if the brain inside of you is actually Heistotron's, 352 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,490 it matters, because it explodes 353 00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:18,526 when it hits six levels of contrivance. 354 00:16:18,527 --> 00:16:21,480 Which is exactly why even before... 355 00:16:24,370 --> 00:16:26,739 Initiate clap sequence. 356 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:28,430 Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. 357 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,449 Adjusting clap rate. 358 00:16:29,450 --> 00:16:32,900 Clap, clap. Clap. Clap. 359 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,370 Clap. Slow clap achieved. 360 00:16:35,380 --> 00:16:37,389 Clap. Well-done, Rick. 361 00:16:37,390 --> 00:16:38,459 Randotron? 362 00:16:38,460 --> 00:16:39,999 I'm afraid not. 363 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:43,849 Should be able to walk through Heistotron's lazily contrived... 364 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,730 Not only did you just kill your only ally, 365 00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:50,130 what you thought was a random non-plan 366 00:16:50,140 --> 00:16:53,530 to get to me has been a meticulously choreographed way 367 00:16:53,540 --> 00:16:55,899 of bringing you all in. 368 00:16:55,900 --> 00:16:59,530 Welcome to Heistotron's 975 trillion, 369 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,270 - 467 billion... - That's impressive. 370 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,340 Did you bring us in so that everybody would be here 371 00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:06,319 when I reveal that you're gonna explode after nine reveals? 372 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:08,199 By the way, you might not want to answer that. 373 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,830 If you're talking about the code adjustments you made 374 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,110 after I reprogrammed your brain with my nanobots... 375 00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:16,079 I'm immune to your nanobots. 376 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:18,340 You're immune to the ones you designed, not mine. 377 00:17:18,350 --> 00:17:20,080 I programmed you to build nanobots 378 00:17:20,090 --> 00:17:21,290 that were ineffective on me. 379 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:22,890 A belief that needed to be placed 380 00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:24,342 in your head by my nanobots. 381 00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:26,390 You believe that because I programmed you to. 382 00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:27,990 That's what I'm saying to you, though. 383 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,210 You believe what I programmed you to believe. 384 00:17:30,220 --> 00:17:32,139 Yes, because I programmed you to believe that. 385 00:17:32,140 --> 00:17:33,790 I programmed you to believe that. 386 00:17:33,810 --> 00:17:34,920 I programmed you to believe that. 387 00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:36,250 I programmed you to believe that. 388 00:17:36,260 --> 00:17:37,750 I programmed you to believe that. 389 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,640 What's happening, Professor Poopybutthole? 390 00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:41,140 He's learning! 391 00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:42,160 I programmed you to believe that. 392 00:17:42,170 --> 00:17:43,739 - I programmed you to believe that. - I programmed you... 393 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:46,404 That was my plan the whole time. 394 00:17:46,405 --> 00:17:47,739 That's what I wanted you to think. 395 00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:48,750 I knew you would say that. 396 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,160 I programmed you to believe that. 397 00:17:50,170 --> 00:17:52,409 You think that's true because I wanted you to think that. 398 00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:56,170 And I programmed you to believe that. 399 00:17:57,390 --> 00:17:59,940 A most curious algorithm. 400 00:17:59,950 --> 00:18:02,010 It appears the only perfect heist 401 00:18:02,020 --> 00:18:03,990 is one that was never written. 402 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,740 Goodbye. 403 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:07,880 Oh, oh, oh, no. 404 00:18:07,890 --> 00:18:09,670 Shit! Alright. Let's get the out of here! 405 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,110 - Hurry! Go, go! - Rick, I think this was 406 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,770 a powerful lesson in the dangers of AI, 407 00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:14,290 which, by the way, means "love" in Chinese. 408 00:18:14,300 --> 00:18:15,510 Get the out of here, Elon! 409 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:16,740 The place is collapsing! 410 00:18:16,750 --> 00:18:18,500 Oh, Rick! Rick, what time is it? 411 00:18:18,510 --> 00:18:20,140 It's almost 3:00. Why? What's wrong? 412 00:18:20,150 --> 00:18:22,170 Oh, man, I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this, Rick. 413 00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,960 I just... Well, you know that screenplay that I've been writing? 414 00:18:24,970 --> 00:18:26,430 Netflix is pretty interested, 415 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,770 and I've actually got a pitch meeting there today at 3:30. 416 00:18:28,780 --> 00:18:30,370 Oh, buddy. Oh, that's amazing. 417 00:18:30,380 --> 00:18:31,480 Yeah, well, I know you're gonna say 418 00:18:31,490 --> 00:18:32,690 that they're interested in anything, 419 00:18:32,700 --> 00:18:34,330 but, you know, it's a big deal to me, and I've... 420 00:18:34,340 --> 00:18:36,539 No, no, no! Morty, Morty, Morty, I'm so excited for you. 421 00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:37,569 Are you kidding me? Listen, 422 00:18:37,570 --> 00:18:38,830 don't waste any time explaining. 423 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:40,260 Let's go. We can put the Earth back later. 424 00:18:40,270 --> 00:18:41,390 - Alright? - Are you sure? 425 00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,464 Priorities, Morty. Let's get you to that Netflix meeting. 426 00:18:45,510 --> 00:18:47,190 Crazy day, huh? 427 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,259 Whole sky turned out to be a big circuit board. 428 00:18:49,260 --> 00:18:51,110 Yeah, that's actually part of a-a-a... 429 00:18:51,120 --> 00:18:52,510 an adventure I was having. 430 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:54,150 Very cool. Traffic okay? 431 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,190 - You have trouble getting here? - No, it was alright. 432 00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:57,450 The planet's still contained 433 00:18:57,460 --> 00:18:59,850 in this sort of big storage grid machine, 434 00:18:59,860 --> 00:19:02,720 so we were sort of already pretty... pretty close by. 435 00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:04,790 Must be nice. Try getting here from Malibu. 436 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,190 So good! Alright. Well, l-let's hear about this heist movie. 437 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,590 Okay, so, it's kind of all... 438 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,660 all built around this big crew with, like, a cool double-cross 439 00:19:11,670 --> 00:19:13,730 and then this big awesome twist where there's, like, 440 00:19:13,740 --> 00:19:16,930 another double cross, but then, um, but... 441 00:19:16,940 --> 00:19:19,050 but then we reveal those things 442 00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:21,460 were all part of the hero's plan, y-you know? 443 00:19:21,470 --> 00:19:24,130 And there's this other crew they put together, 444 00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:26,830 and their plan is to sort of not have a plan, 445 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:30,009 but... but that was part of the other guy's plan, and... 446 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:32,550 Kid, if you're slowing down 'cause you think 447 00:19:32,560 --> 00:19:34,430 you're doing bad right now, Jesus Christ. 448 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,810 - That's a really good pitch. - Loving it. 449 00:19:35,820 --> 00:19:37,090 Man, you know, I... 450 00:19:37,100 --> 00:19:40,640 I'm starting to think heists are just really dumb now, you know? 451 00:19:40,650 --> 00:19:42,010 I can't put my finger on why, 452 00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:44,100 but I'd really like to go. 453 00:19:44,110 --> 00:19:45,191 Are you sure? 454 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,810 Yeah, yeah, no, I-I'm sure. 455 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:53,170 Man, it's as if someone stole his enthusiasm for his own idea. 456 00:19:53,180 --> 00:19:54,490 Yeah, without him even knowing about it. 457 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,202 Without him even knowing about it. 458 00:19:58,920 --> 00:20:00,039 Morty's still working on 459 00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:01,580 - that stupid heist script. 460 00:20:01,590 --> 00:20:03,810 He's up in his room with his thumb up his ass. 461 00:20:03,820 --> 00:20:05,250 Skipped out on the last three adventures. 462 00:20:05,260 --> 00:20:07,250 I don't know. Five of my friends got Netflix deals. 463 00:20:07,260 --> 00:20:09,170 - What? - It's a very achievable goal. 464 00:20:09,180 --> 00:20:11,170 - You could lose him. - I'm not gonna lose him. 465 00:20:11,180 --> 00:20:13,540 that. I-I'm gonna nip this shit in the bud. 466 00:20:13,550 --> 00:20:15,889 No. As a matter of fact, you're not nipping anything in the bud. 467 00:20:15,890 --> 00:20:18,260 If Morty ever gives up on a single dream, 468 00:20:18,270 --> 00:20:21,686 it had better be because of his own disillusionment. 469 00:20:23,610 --> 00:20:24,940 Hey, buddy. How'd it go? 470 00:20:24,950 --> 00:20:27,358 I-I don't want to talk about it. 471 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,610 Morty, you know, pal, you, uh... 472 00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:31,696 you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. 473 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,190 Yeah, I guess. 474 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,470 Thanks for staying positive about my prospects, Rick. 475 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,610 Of course! You know, you... 476 00:20:36,620 --> 00:20:38,270 I got to help my grandson follow his dreams. 477 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,650 Eh, who needs dreams? 478 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:41,350 I'll just hang out with you and go on adventures 479 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,210 and do whatever you want to do, you know, forever. 480 00:20:43,220 --> 00:20:44,890 Oh, well, uh, okay. 481 00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:48,249 I mean, if that's what you want. 482 00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:53,209 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 483 00:21:22,170 --> 00:21:25,200 Oooo weee! Big storm coming. 484 00:21:25,210 --> 00:21:28,740 - Could be a twister. - Mm-hmm! 485 00:21:31,210 --> 00:21:32,470 Hey, Rick? 486 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,740 Can you walk me through something? 487 00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:35,010 Yeah. What are you thinking? 488 00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:37,810 So, you and Morty knew you needed my help, 489 00:21:37,820 --> 00:21:40,810 but you weren't sure I was good enough at karate, 490 00:21:40,820 --> 00:21:44,230 so you hired my grad students to attack me? 491 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,710 Yep. 492 00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,050 But it was an emergency, Rick. 493 00:21:48,060 --> 00:21:49,830 How long did that take? 494 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,380 It actually took less training than you'd think. 495 00:21:53,760 --> 00:21:54,910 Your students all shared 496 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,230 a pretty keen aptitude for martial arts. 497 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:58,670 I don't know if that's by coincidence 498 00:21:58,680 --> 00:22:01,500 or if there's some correlation with their passion 499 00:22:01,510 --> 00:22:03,670 for African-American Women's Studies. 500 00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:08,240 Maya Angelou did personify both acquiescence and perseverance. 501 00:22:08,250 --> 00:22:11,760 Ooo wee. That's exactly the kind of connection 502 00:22:11,770 --> 00:22:15,470 I'd have loved to explore in my class. 503 00:22:15,480 --> 00:22:17,170 Too bad I lost my job 504 00:22:17,180 --> 00:22:20,090 for putting my students in the hospital. 505 00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:22,270 Yeah. Yeah. 506 00:22:22,280 --> 00:22:25,017 Sorry about that. 507 00:22:25,018 --> 00:22:28,250 Mm-hmm.