1 00:00:05,350 --> 00:00:06,410 We're out of syrup. 2 00:00:06,420 --> 00:00:07,720 Huh. You know what? 3 00:00:07,730 --> 00:00:10,090 Maybe I'll use my intern. 4 00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:12,510 - Glootie? - Good? 5 00:00:12,530 --> 00:00:14,330 - Thanks, Glootie. - Anything else? 6 00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:15,660 Do you want to develop an app? 7 00:00:15,670 --> 00:00:17,470 - No thanks, Glootie. - Hey, what's up, Glootie? 8 00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:18,990 Hi, Morty. Do you want to develop an app? 9 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,370 - No thanks. - Rick, why does it say, 10 00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:22,549 "Do not develop my app," on your intern's forehead? 11 00:00:22,550 --> 00:00:23,870 Why, you want to develop one? 12 00:00:23,880 --> 00:00:25,110 Ah, I'm glad you asked that, Jerry. 13 00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,839 It's so you don't develop his app. 14 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:29,040 Glootie, go make some photocopies 15 00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:30,050 - of something. - Cool. 16 00:00:30,060 --> 00:00:32,389 Well, if anyone wants to develop an app with me, I'm down. 17 00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:35,320 He seems to really want to develop an app. 18 00:00:35,330 --> 00:00:37,330 He really does, sweetie, but nobody's gonna do that. 19 00:00:37,340 --> 00:00:38,820 Now, if you'll excuse me, 20 00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:41,050 I've got a quick solo adventure to go on, 21 00:00:41,060 --> 00:00:43,110 and this one will not be directed 22 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,730 - by Ron Howard. - He's gonna go poop. 23 00:00:44,740 --> 00:00:46,050 When Grandpa Rick pats his belly like that 24 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:47,690 and leaves without Morty, it means he's going to go poop. 25 00:00:47,700 --> 00:00:50,170 He's a shy pooper. He has a secret pooping place. 26 00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,630 Man, you, Summer. 27 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:54,550 Honey, why can't you get this excited about your SATs? 28 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,300 Well, I'm man enough to simply say, "I'm going to poop," 29 00:00:57,310 --> 00:00:59,250 and I'd be honored to have 30 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,120 - Ron Howard involved. - Good job, hon. 31 00:01:01,130 --> 00:01:02,730 - Way to go, Dad. - We're rooting for ya. 32 00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:08,390 He's really putting you to work, huh? 33 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,659 Did you want to develop an app? 34 00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:12,030 - I'll pass, Glootie. - Hmm, your loss. 35 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:13,659 Oh, yeah? Why's that? 36 00:01:13,660 --> 00:01:15,190 Eh, it's an app you'd want to develop. 37 00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,630 - Can I ask what it is? - Of course you can. 38 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:20,270 That's always the first step in app development. 39 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,230 Ah. 40 00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:25,180 50/50! Final offer! 41 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:57,010 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 42 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,350 Reverse digestion extrapolation. 43 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,069 Time to meet your maker. 44 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:30,059 What are you guys doing? 45 00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:31,529 Did you develop an app? 46 00:03:31,530 --> 00:03:33,590 Rule number one in app development, son... 47 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:34,690 never follow the rules. 48 00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:37,930 Except when the rule is tattooed on an alien's forehead, Dad. 49 00:03:37,940 --> 00:03:39,699 Why do you think Rick would have that rule? 50 00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:41,390 'Cause he's a disrupt-o-phobe. 51 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,420 No, Dad, no. 52 00:03:42,430 --> 00:03:44,249 To keep something horrible from happening, 53 00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:46,070 something he's too lazy to explain. 54 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,880 Guys, we're getting our first users. 55 00:03:51,090 --> 00:03:53,550 Whoa, this new app just matched me 56 00:03:53,560 --> 00:03:56,030 with a guy that is su my ty. 57 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,270 Super my type. Learn to abbre. 58 00:03:58,280 --> 00:03:59,330 Hey! 59 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:02,260 Your su ty works at Jersey Mike's 60 00:04:02,270 --> 00:04:04,270 and sees 25 Phish shows a year. 61 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:06,820 - That is so Danny. - Summer! 62 00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,090 - Danny? - Summer Smith? 63 00:04:08,100 --> 00:04:09,640 Danny Publits from Lovefinderrz 64 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:10,770 with two "R's" and a "Z"? 65 00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:13,439 I ran all the way here while staring at your profile. 66 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,170 I tripped on a fire hydrant and fell down, 67 00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:17,150 so I'm covered in gravel that stuck to my sweat. 68 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,300 And even after a shower, 69 00:04:18,310 --> 00:04:20,739 I'll still be into a jam band for old junkies, 70 00:04:20,740 --> 00:04:22,870 but I think this world cares too much about bands 71 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:25,119 and too little about love. 72 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:27,580 - And I think I love you. - Me, too. 73 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:30,090 Hi, I'm my underage daughter's mother. 74 00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:31,589 Nice to... whoa! 75 00:04:31,590 --> 00:04:33,850 Come on. Just met. 76 00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:35,310 Uh, this isn't working. 77 00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:36,850 Wait. What are you... 78 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:38,230 Never mind. 79 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,090 I quit, I'm gay, and I love Xander. 80 00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,560 Stupid phones are destroying us. 81 00:04:44,660 --> 00:04:45,670 Hey, sweetie. 82 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,830 Honey, our daughter ran off with a Frisbee golfer 83 00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,730 because of some app with a really dumb, 84 00:04:49,740 --> 00:04:51,030 really forgettable name. 85 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:54,720 Like a really dumb, uncreative, super sweaty name. 86 00:04:54,730 --> 00:04:56,250 - Anyway, I'll be late. I love you. 87 00:04:56,260 --> 00:04:58,560 Got it. I love you, too. 88 00:04:58,570 --> 00:05:00,980 Okay, Glootie, take the app down. 89 00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:03,619 Can't take it down. I'm just an intern. 90 00:05:06,290 --> 00:05:08,410 Uh, that's not how apps work. 91 00:05:08,420 --> 00:05:10,150 Then make it how it works. 92 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:13,110 This isn't how making things work works. 93 00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,339 Get... get it off the server. 94 00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:16,190 Y-You think we're stupid, but we're not. 95 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,129 We know apps have something to do with servers. 96 00:05:18,130 --> 00:05:19,429 The server's on the mother ship. 97 00:05:19,430 --> 00:05:20,530 Where's the mother ship? 98 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:22,150 - It's coming. - Take us to it. 99 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,010 - No. - Yes. Shake him more, Morty. 100 00:05:24,020 --> 00:05:26,249 - That was working. - Take us to the mother ship. 101 00:05:38,370 --> 00:05:40,739 Okay, don't hurt me. Don't hurt me. 102 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,619 An ominous beeping app. 103 00:05:42,620 --> 00:05:44,799 You can't stay made at a guy with this kind of talent. 104 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,710 Dad, you can, and you have to. 105 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,800 - Ribbit, ribbit. - Ribbit, ribbit. 106 00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,250 - Hey, ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! - Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit! 107 00:05:56,260 --> 00:05:58,670 Look at this guy. He wants to eat me so bad. 108 00:05:58,680 --> 00:05:59,910 You want to eat me, don't you? 109 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,930 - Ribbit. - Just kidding. Have some drugs. 110 00:06:01,940 --> 00:06:04,090 - Are you Vermigurber? - What does this guy want? 111 00:06:04,100 --> 00:06:06,030 - Who is this monkey? - I'm here about a sandwich. 112 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:07,639 Oh, well you came to the right place... 113 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:09,519 'cause you're about to get a bullet sandwich 114 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,330 on two slices of whole... gun. 115 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:15,069 You might want to get that. 116 00:06:16,700 --> 00:06:17,829 Hello? 117 00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:20,020 Dad, give the human whatever he wants. 118 00:06:20,030 --> 00:06:21,850 He knows where I live. He's crazy! 119 00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:24,470 You idiot. 120 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,659 I have 800,000 kids. 121 00:06:27,660 --> 00:06:29,039 Don't forget your voicemail. 122 00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:34,090 You have 470,000 messages. 123 00:06:34,100 --> 00:06:35,750 Oh, ah, that's half of them. 124 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:38,310 Okay, w-w-what do you want? What do you want? 125 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,630 Wait, this is seriously about sandwiches? 126 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,950 I thought this was about drugs or guns 127 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,170 or the fact that I'm a fly that runs a frog restaurant. 128 00:06:45,180 --> 00:06:47,570 There's a million things that are interesting about me, 129 00:06:47,580 --> 00:06:48,869 and none of them are sandwiches. 130 00:06:48,870 --> 00:06:51,370 - Who ordered it? - Talk to our delivery drone. 131 00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:53,900 He... he run off to fight in the robot wars. 132 00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,470 Hey, ape man, I hope this was worth 133 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,389 making a whole swarm of enemies. 134 00:06:59,390 --> 00:07:02,729 It will be when I find whoever shit in my toilet. 135 00:07:02,730 --> 00:07:05,980 Is that code for something? Someone look that up. 136 00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,590 If that's drug slang, I need to know it. 137 00:07:09,450 --> 00:07:11,030 Ah! 138 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:14,130 - Mom, you can't stop true love. - Oh, yes, I can. 139 00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:15,770 - You're assaulting me! - Keep your voice down. 140 00:07:15,780 --> 00:07:18,230 - I'm being assaulted! - Oh, yeah? Okay. 141 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:19,670 - Statutory rape! - Whoa. 142 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,820 My daughter's about to be raped! 143 00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:22,099 No, I'm not! I'm being assaulted! 144 00:07:22,100 --> 00:07:23,390 - Rape! - Assault! 145 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,670 - Rape! - Nobody cares. It's a motel. 146 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:27,530 Nobody's here because their life's going so great 147 00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:29,270 they can afford to get mixed up in yours. 148 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,679 Deal with this on your own. 149 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:33,350 You can't stop us from getting a motel room. 150 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:34,490 Fine. I'll get one, too. 151 00:07:34,500 --> 00:07:35,730 I'm getting the one next door, 152 00:07:35,740 --> 00:07:37,450 and I'm putting a glass to the wall, and I'm listening. 153 00:07:37,460 --> 00:07:39,490 - Fine. Enjoy. - I will. 154 00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:42,320 - I'm Danny, by the way. - You had your chance, dick. 155 00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:48,580 - Take your app down. - T-Take... take it down. 156 00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:49,860 - What? - I'm their hostage. 157 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,880 - Do they have weapons? - Nope, but neither do I. 158 00:07:51,890 --> 00:07:53,540 Do... do you have a weapon? 159 00:07:53,550 --> 00:07:55,060 No. 160 00:07:55,070 --> 00:07:56,580 - Take the app down. - Take the app down. 161 00:07:56,590 --> 00:07:57,900 I can't. I'm an intern. 162 00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,919 Okay, well who tells interns what to do? 163 00:07:59,920 --> 00:08:01,240 Not you, that's for sure. 164 00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:02,960 Take us to whoever does, 165 00:08:02,970 --> 00:08:05,160 or w-w-we'll... we'll punch you. 166 00:08:05,170 --> 00:08:06,680 Okay. 167 00:08:06,690 --> 00:08:08,190 Not bad, Morty. 168 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,020 Yeah, I don't know when the other shoe's gonna drop, 169 00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:12,589 but this is working pretty good so far. 170 00:08:12,590 --> 00:08:13,750 Greetings. 171 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,600 We are the Monogatrons. 172 00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:17,980 While your species was still toying with fire, 173 00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:20,600 ours mastered the science of functioning, 174 00:08:20,610 --> 00:08:22,420 committed relationships. 175 00:08:22,430 --> 00:08:24,320 As the latest planet to develop our app, 176 00:08:24,330 --> 00:08:28,930 you will now witness the true power of superior intimacy. 177 00:08:28,940 --> 00:08:30,220 Take the app down. 178 00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:33,029 Take it down, or... we'll... we'll... we'll punch you. 179 00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:35,320 Is there someone with a gun or... 180 00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:36,660 It's on its way. 181 00:08:36,670 --> 00:08:37,750 The app remains up. 182 00:08:37,756 --> 00:08:39,383 So what's the evil plan? 183 00:08:39,390 --> 00:08:41,360 Does there have to be an evil plan? 184 00:08:41,370 --> 00:08:43,780 - Oh, uh, uh... - Uh, someone wanted a gun? 185 00:08:43,790 --> 00:08:45,140 I'll take it. Thanks. 186 00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:46,619 Here's the evil plan. 187 00:08:46,620 --> 00:08:47,839 - Goddamn it. 188 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,720 As a preapp civilization, 189 00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:52,630 your love's value is defined by scarcity. 190 00:08:53,670 --> 00:08:55,570 You are highly trained to seek it, 191 00:08:55,580 --> 00:08:59,380 and you have no idea how to maintain it. 192 00:08:59,390 --> 00:09:01,789 Had you bothered to master love, 193 00:09:01,790 --> 00:09:05,309 you would've learned by now, it is as abundant as water. 194 00:09:05,310 --> 00:09:07,559 You know what isn't? Water. 195 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:09,640 That runs out. 196 00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:11,820 So we'll be taking yours. 197 00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:14,860 While your planet continues to dick around with a, uh... 198 00:09:14,870 --> 00:09:16,820 what is their version of it called? 199 00:09:16,830 --> 00:09:18,999 Lovefinderrz, with two "R's" and a "Z." 200 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,970 - Oof. - Yeah, not my idea. 201 00:09:20,980 --> 00:09:22,980 - Goddamn. - Am I interrupting? 202 00:09:22,990 --> 00:09:26,700 - Impossible. Here she is. - Mwah. 203 00:09:26,710 --> 00:09:28,240 Your prisoners are getting away. 204 00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,020 Prisoners are just things. 205 00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:32,320 Connect with me. Tell me about your day. 206 00:09:32,330 --> 00:09:33,840 I had an incredible meeting. 207 00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:37,049 Did you know humans are 80% water? 208 00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:39,719 And I found a new podcast we can listen to tonight. 209 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,160 Love it. Okay, back to work. 210 00:09:42,170 --> 00:09:44,889 Find and kill those earthlings. 211 00:09:50,310 --> 00:09:52,660 We're outnumbered. There's no hope. 212 00:09:52,670 --> 00:09:54,930 Then we go out in glory. 213 00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:57,820 Flesh intruder, prepare to die. 214 00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,730 Oh, hold on. 215 00:09:59,740 --> 00:10:01,909 My apologies, Lieutenant Commander. 216 00:10:01,910 --> 00:10:04,040 No problem. At ease, Soldier. 217 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,000 Initiate Employee Evaluation Mode. 218 00:10:09,010 --> 00:10:11,680 - Accessing delivery archive. - Okay, listen. 219 00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:13,580 You delivered an avian protein club sandwich 220 00:10:13,590 --> 00:10:15,540 with no lettu... Goddamn it. 221 00:10:35,810 --> 00:10:39,260 Oy, scoping for this bit, then? 222 00:10:39,270 --> 00:10:41,540 Alright, a-a-alright. I know you want to have 223 00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:43,239 the big guy/little guy fight, but... 224 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,660 Aw, are you kidding me? 225 00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,800 Here at the Midland Quasar, 226 00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:51,160 where, in a complete upset, 227 00:10:51,170 --> 00:10:53,299 the Robolution has overturned the lizards. 228 00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:55,919 - It's totally unexpected. - Uh, I understand, Mr. Phillips. 229 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:58,090 Yes. 230 00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:00,040 I believe this is yours. 231 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:03,480 You, uh... you dropped that. 232 00:11:03,490 --> 00:11:05,430 I'll have to call you back. 233 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:07,100 Where do you want to die? 234 00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:09,599 Susan, is conference room three available? 235 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:13,060 Can I look at a photo of my wife while you kill me? 236 00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:14,540 Sure, but I'm doing her a favor. 237 00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:15,680 She either has terrible taste, 238 00:11:15,690 --> 00:11:17,900 or she's trapped in a marriage to a toilet thief. 239 00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,689 She's dead. 240 00:11:19,690 --> 00:11:21,259 And I don't mind joining her. 241 00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:24,990 Life has been hollow since I lost her. 242 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,460 Using your toilet was nice, though. 243 00:11:27,470 --> 00:11:29,120 I'm a bit of a shy pooper. 244 00:11:30,620 --> 00:11:33,220 I'm ready when you are. 245 00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,990 Stay there. 246 00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:40,120 Tell him what you told me. 247 00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:41,230 What is this? What's happening? 248 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,360 Tell him what you told me. 249 00:11:42,370 --> 00:11:43,620 My wife's still alive. 250 00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:45,880 Sh... sh... she went into remission 10 years ago. 251 00:11:45,890 --> 00:11:46,980 And what did you do today? 252 00:11:46,990 --> 00:11:48,349 Oh, I, uh, pooped 253 00:11:48,350 --> 00:11:50,219 on a really awesome toilet I found... 254 00:11:50,220 --> 00:11:52,680 oh, ow, ow, ow, ow, oh! 255 00:11:52,690 --> 00:11:54,900 Don't use your dead wife as an excuse. 256 00:11:54,910 --> 00:11:57,500 You on my toilet because you don't know your place, 257 00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,290 and your place is nothing. 258 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,100 So next time you stumble onto a toilet 259 00:12:01,110 --> 00:12:04,499 that feels too good for your ass, trust me, it is. 260 00:12:04,500 --> 00:12:05,569 You're not gonna kill me? 261 00:12:05,570 --> 00:12:07,230 Don't tell me what to do! 262 00:12:29,990 --> 00:12:31,619 Are you kidding me? 263 00:12:44,770 --> 00:12:46,790 Oh, so you like being alive? 264 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,660 So why the are you back here? 265 00:12:48,670 --> 00:12:50,509 After you left, I thought about what you said 266 00:12:50,510 --> 00:12:52,080 and how much I needed to hear it, 267 00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:54,039 but then I thought about why you were saying it, 268 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,600 who you were really saying it to. 269 00:12:55,610 --> 00:12:57,160 You need the same thing I needed, Rick. 270 00:12:57,170 --> 00:13:00,240 You need someone to give you, permission to live. 271 00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:01,940 What the... ? 272 00:13:01,950 --> 00:13:03,459 I thought you were a shy pooper. 273 00:13:03,460 --> 00:13:05,360 You know what shy pooping is, Rick? 274 00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:07,300 It's a pointless bid for control. 275 00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:08,740 You want to take the one part of life 276 00:13:08,750 --> 00:13:10,959 that you truly think is yours, and you want to protect it 277 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:13,630 from a universe that takes whatever it wants. 278 00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,180 It took my wife. 279 00:13:15,190 --> 00:13:17,220 It clearly took something from you. 280 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:19,280 We can spend our lives fighting that, 281 00:13:19,290 --> 00:13:20,649 or we can choose to be free. 282 00:13:20,650 --> 00:13:23,020 You're right, Tony. I'm done fighting. 283 00:13:23,030 --> 00:13:24,589 Time to be free. 284 00:13:24,590 --> 00:13:26,630 Oh, wait, you're actually gonna... Oh, God! Oh, God! 285 00:13:31,610 --> 00:13:34,140 - Where am I? - Hi, little mouse. 286 00:13:34,150 --> 00:13:36,749 Baby bee? I missed you so much. 287 00:13:36,750 --> 00:13:38,249 I never really left you. 288 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,040 Then you know that a few years ago 289 00:13:40,050 --> 00:13:42,000 - I started getting into... - Strap-on porn? 290 00:13:42,010 --> 00:13:43,940 Yes. I thought it was hot. 291 00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:45,860 - Now, come on. - Where are you going? 292 00:13:45,870 --> 00:13:47,050 - To poop. - Where? 293 00:13:47,065 --> 00:13:49,269 Wherever you want, forever. 294 00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:50,610 My God. 295 00:13:50,620 --> 00:13:51,799 You rang? 296 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,050 I'm pooping, too. 297 00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:55,400 Come, Tony. Come on. 298 00:13:55,410 --> 00:13:57,769 Come poop with me. Poop with me, Tony. 299 00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:58,980 Poop with me. 300 00:13:58,990 --> 00:14:00,480 What are you waiting for? 301 00:14:00,490 --> 00:14:02,420 Aren't you gonna join us, Tony? 302 00:14:02,430 --> 00:14:05,530 Aren't you gonna join us in the pooping? 303 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:22,980 Where are we? What is this? 304 00:14:22,990 --> 00:14:24,260 That's it. Get out. 305 00:14:24,270 --> 00:14:25,680 You can make a perfectly-realized, 306 00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,160 toilet-filled simulation of heaven, 307 00:14:27,170 --> 00:14:28,420 but you can't share a toilet? 308 00:14:28,430 --> 00:14:29,780 Don't insult my craft. 309 00:14:29,790 --> 00:14:31,120 The chemical is Globaflyn. 310 00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:32,910 It connects the whatever-you-want section 311 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,800 of your brain to the whatever-you-have section. 312 00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:36,980 If your heaven is toilets, that's on you. 313 00:14:36,990 --> 00:14:38,280 All of these people... 314 00:14:38,290 --> 00:14:40,430 Are living their wildest, meaningless dreams 315 00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,249 and leaving me out of them. 316 00:14:42,250 --> 00:14:45,280 People you refuse to kill and refuse to let into your life. 317 00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:48,620 An offer you rejected, so here's your last chance. 318 00:14:48,630 --> 00:14:50,780 Goodbye forever. If you touch my toilet again, 319 00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:51,980 - you die. - You need a friend. 320 00:14:51,990 --> 00:14:53,720 I have a million cooler friends than you. 321 00:14:53,730 --> 00:14:55,120 - I'll be seeing you. - You'll be dying. 322 00:14:55,130 --> 00:14:57,139 - We're gonna be friends. - You're gonna be dead. 323 00:14:57,140 --> 00:14:59,040 So, we fight our way to the gas line, 324 00:14:59,050 --> 00:15:00,500 we cut it, and then we set a fire. 325 00:15:00,510 --> 00:15:01,530 Okay. Alright. 326 00:15:01,540 --> 00:15:03,739 Morty, "Adventures of Jerry and Morty," huh? 327 00:15:03,740 --> 00:15:05,320 - Put her there. - Dad, look, y-you know, 328 00:15:05,330 --> 00:15:06,540 w-we don't need to high-five. 329 00:15:06,550 --> 00:15:08,660 It's... it's kind of your fault that we're in this situation at all. 330 00:15:08,670 --> 00:15:10,440 I know, but, you know, come on. 331 00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:12,770 - "Adventures of Jerry and Morty." - Okay. 332 00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:27,670 Mwah. 333 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:34,969 Jeff, I can explain everything. 334 00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:36,349 You don't have to. 335 00:15:36,350 --> 00:15:38,639 Can you just marry us instead? 336 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:39,960 Jeff, don't do it! 337 00:15:39,970 --> 00:15:41,480 Richard. 338 00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:43,280 Maggie. 339 00:15:43,290 --> 00:15:46,260 - Running Bird. - Let's get out of here. 340 00:15:46,270 --> 00:15:48,180 - Priest Witherspoon. - Josiah? 341 00:15:48,190 --> 00:15:51,139 Let's get the out of here. 342 00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:54,060 Summer Smith, let's get the hell out of here. 343 00:15:54,070 --> 00:15:55,980 You had me at my own name. 344 00:15:55,990 --> 00:15:58,360 Oh, yeah, no. Why would I... ? 345 00:15:58,370 --> 00:16:01,360 Summer! thing. 346 00:16:01,370 --> 00:16:03,370 Come on. I can't steer this. 347 00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:07,980 What in the hell are you doing? 348 00:16:07,990 --> 00:16:10,190 - Parenting. - That's not how I did it. 349 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,990 Yeah, where's your daughter? 350 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,790 Ah, you're right. 351 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,180 She joined ISIS. 352 00:16:17,650 --> 00:16:20,780 It's Glootie, and he's had a change of heart. 353 00:16:20,790 --> 00:16:22,130 And he's going to set us free. 354 00:16:22,140 --> 00:16:24,549 Actually, he's been blamed for bringing you aboard 355 00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:25,809 and assigned to execute you. 356 00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:27,349 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. 357 00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:29,810 What would your girlfriend think of you murdering? 358 00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:31,680 I happen to be between relationships right now. 359 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,830 Really? I thought your species had perfected relationships. 360 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:35,840 - Here. - We're not allowed 361 00:16:35,850 --> 00:16:37,660 - to use those apps. - I wonder why. 362 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,449 Yeah, that's what I thought, Glootie. 363 00:16:40,450 --> 00:16:42,920 Looks like you and I... 364 00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:44,410 are all we've got. 365 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:48,740 I'm not helping you any more than that, 366 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:49,780 but if you can find the hangar, 367 00:16:49,790 --> 00:16:51,579 grab a ship and get the hell out of here. 368 00:16:51,580 --> 00:16:52,909 Where you going, Glootie? 369 00:16:52,910 --> 00:16:55,909 I've got a date with dumping a dating app. 370 00:16:55,910 --> 00:16:57,920 Glootie-ootie-ooh! 371 00:16:57,930 --> 00:16:59,940 - Was that ever his thing? - No. 372 00:16:59,950 --> 00:17:01,960 - He never exited that way. - No, first time. 373 00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:03,560 Dad, I want to say something. 374 00:17:03,570 --> 00:17:06,259 I started today disgusted and embarrassed to be your son, 375 00:17:06,260 --> 00:17:07,810 and then later I thought we were gonna die 376 00:17:07,820 --> 00:17:09,500 because you're a loser. 377 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,590 - There's no more, is there? - Nope. 378 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,570 Now quit up, and let's go. 379 00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:18,120 Is Tony here? I br... I brought him some, uh, 380 00:17:18,130 --> 00:17:20,370 Vegan Fiber Chili, delicious family recipe, 381 00:17:20,380 --> 00:17:22,360 and a box of these, uh, chocolates, sugar free. 382 00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:23,860 He can eat as many of these as he wants. 383 00:17:23,870 --> 00:17:25,660 Anyways, uh, just wanted to drop these off, 384 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,300 and you tell him, uh, the toilet's all his. 385 00:17:28,310 --> 00:17:29,669 H-He... he'll know what I mean. 386 00:17:29,670 --> 00:17:31,420 Tony died. 387 00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:34,960 - Excuse me? - He quit his job, 388 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:37,280 starting living life to the fullest. 389 00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,640 He crashed into a tree 390 00:17:38,650 --> 00:17:40,910 space-skiing down Mount Space Everest. 391 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:44,829 There's a Mount Space Everest? 392 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:48,890 Okay. Uh, Jesus. I-I got to process this. 393 00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:50,500 Oh, no, no. You... you don't want to eat that. 394 00:17:50,510 --> 00:17:51,730 Y-y-you'll... you'll... you'll become 395 00:17:51,740 --> 00:17:53,660 the opening of "The Beverly Hillbillies." 396 00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:55,900 You know what I'm saying? A little bubbling crude? 397 00:17:55,910 --> 00:17:58,040 - Texas tea? - I don't know these references. 398 00:17:58,050 --> 00:17:59,709 Yeah, but you have a Space Everest? 399 00:17:59,710 --> 00:18:01,800 Watch "Space Beverly Hillbillies" 400 00:18:01,810 --> 00:18:04,400 so my jokes can land, you. 401 00:18:20,450 --> 00:18:21,729 Now what? 402 00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,091 Happily ever after. 403 00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,480 And after that? 404 00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:26,469 We'll find out together. 405 00:18:26,470 --> 00:18:29,479 Summer how many soul mates is that in the last week? 406 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,399 Four. You can't stop me from loving who I love, Mom. 407 00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:33,800 Oh, the I can't. 408 00:18:33,810 --> 00:18:35,840 I'm gonna mother you until your 18th birthday, 409 00:18:35,850 --> 00:18:38,679 even if I get thrown in prison for non-consensual mothering. 410 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,810 And even then, I will break out, 411 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:43,040 come to your house, kick down your door, 412 00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:45,870 and mother your face out of your stupid asshole. 413 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,810 I'm gonna daughter your brains out, bitch. 414 00:18:59,220 --> 00:19:00,290 Mother. 415 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,250 That's my name. Don't wear it out. 416 00:19:06,030 --> 00:19:08,669 Gimme dat new soul mate. 417 00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:11,139 Ad wall? 418 00:19:11,140 --> 00:19:13,670 this. 419 00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:15,559 - Ad wall? - What, they want us to pay for it now? 420 00:19:15,560 --> 00:19:17,109 Ugh, ad wall? 421 00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:20,350 Come on, Mom. Let's go home. 422 00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:24,350 Great. We lost Earth. 423 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,100 We aren't defined by what we do, 424 00:19:26,110 --> 00:19:27,700 and we only need each other. 425 00:19:27,710 --> 00:19:29,460 Each other... and water. 426 00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:30,619 There's no water? 427 00:19:30,620 --> 00:19:32,140 Honey, the whole point of conquering Earth... 428 00:19:32,150 --> 00:19:34,049 I know the point of conquering Earth. 429 00:19:34,050 --> 00:19:36,100 - Don't talk to me like... - Like I'm thirsty? 430 00:19:36,110 --> 00:19:39,000 Like I'm your mother, you childish prick. 431 00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:40,460 How much water are you sucking 432 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,220 through these stupid tubes on your back? 433 00:19:42,230 --> 00:19:44,549 These tubes are cool, and I want a divorce. 434 00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:48,590 You can have one for a glass of Goddamn water. 435 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,780 Look, uh, on the off-chance that you used the app 436 00:19:52,790 --> 00:19:56,069 and there's someone out there waiting for you, I, uh... 437 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:59,060 Jerry, I didn't use it. Did you? 438 00:19:59,070 --> 00:20:01,649 Me? No. God, of course not. 439 00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:03,620 Well, then, we're all good, dawg. 440 00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:12,600 Hey, uh... Hey, uh, Tony's dad, 441 00:20:12,610 --> 00:20:16,200 uh, th-this is, um, $8 billion in your local currency, 442 00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:19,820 and, uh, this is a kit you can use to clone a new son. 443 00:20:19,830 --> 00:20:21,580 He... he won't have the same brain. 444 00:20:21,590 --> 00:20:24,440 He'll kind of be an animal man, but you can teach him stuff. 445 00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:25,820 I-I-I also wanted to let you know 446 00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:27,460 I did explore infinite universes, 447 00:20:27,470 --> 00:20:29,929 and there is a version of Tony that was completely evil 448 00:20:29,930 --> 00:20:31,570 and ended up causing a lot of genocide 449 00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:32,680 because of how fulfilled he was. 450 00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,920 So, really, a lot of ways of looking at this 451 00:20:34,930 --> 00:20:37,180 as not much of a loss. 452 00:20:37,250 --> 00:20:38,600 I understand. 453 00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:41,719 It's, uh, hard losing a friend. 454 00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:42,960 - you. - What? 455 00:20:42,970 --> 00:20:44,759 He's not my friend. 456 00:21:03,010 --> 00:21:04,920 There he is. There's our guy. 457 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,009 Congrats, Tony. 458 00:21:06,010 --> 00:21:07,620 Have fun with your stupid toilet 459 00:21:07,630 --> 00:21:09,740 that you get to use all by yourself now. 460 00:21:09,750 --> 00:21:12,000 Enjoy using it all by yourself while you sit there 461 00:21:12,010 --> 00:21:13,720 and think about how nobody wants to be around you 462 00:21:13,730 --> 00:21:15,280 and how you ruined it for yourself 463 00:21:15,290 --> 00:21:16,810 because you're a huge piece of. 464 00:21:16,820 --> 00:21:17,820 Look at you sitting there, 465 00:21:17,830 --> 00:21:20,169 King Shit on his throne of loneliness. 466 00:21:20,170 --> 00:21:22,480 Enjoy this toilet with a thousand of me 467 00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,790 screaming every time you take a. 468 00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,960 All hail his majesty, 469 00:21:26,970 --> 00:21:31,099 the sa-a-ddest piece of garbage in the entire cosmos. 470 00:21:31,100 --> 00:21:34,369 Long live the big, bad, doo-doo daddy. 471 00:21:34,370 --> 00:21:37,699 May his reign last 1,000 years. 472 00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:41,706 - Synced & corrected by MementMori - www.addic7ed.com ... 473 00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,570 Rick, did you take the Tapatío? 474 00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:16,090 Hmm, Globaflyn? 475 00:22:18,420 --> 00:22:19,440 Thanks. 476 00:22:19,450 --> 00:22:21,709 - I could never lift it up. - No problem. 477 00:22:21,710 --> 00:22:25,209 I'll be able to drink water for weeks because of you. 478 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:27,220 It's just part of my job, ma'am. 479 00:22:28,660 --> 00:22:31,640 Breaker one nine, this is Jerry Smith. 480 00:22:31,650 --> 00:22:33,380 Uh, just finished my first delivery of the day. 481 00:22:33,390 --> 00:22:34,850 900 more to go.