1 00:00:02,676 --> 00:00:03,962 All right, Morty, you ready for our adventure 2 00:00:04,094 --> 00:00:05,300 to the Lost City of Atlantis? 3 00:00:05,429 --> 00:00:06,669 Ready as I'll ever be, Rick. 4 00:00:06,805 --> 00:00:08,637 - Oh, for fuck's sake. 5 00:00:08,765 --> 00:00:11,132 Hello. I'm Rick K-22. This is my Morty. 6 00:00:11,268 --> 00:00:12,884 We're going from reality to reality 7 00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:14,306 asking Ricks to contribute 8 00:00:14,438 --> 00:00:17,021 to the Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund. 9 00:00:17,149 --> 00:00:18,014 What are you, stupid? 10 00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:19,606 We're done with the Citadel of Ricks. 11 00:00:19,735 --> 00:00:21,851 I was never on board with it in the first place. 12 00:00:21,987 --> 00:00:24,149 That's why I murdered everyone in charge and left it to rot. 13 00:00:24,281 --> 00:00:26,238 Oh, that was you. 14 00:00:26,366 --> 00:00:28,778 - They tried to murder him first. - Aw, geez. 15 00:00:28,910 --> 00:00:31,493 Well, you'll be happy to know that the council's gone now. 16 00:00:31,622 --> 00:00:33,238 Yeah, he knows. He murdered them. 17 00:00:33,373 --> 00:00:35,489 - You want to rein in your Morty? - Every day. 18 00:00:35,626 --> 00:00:37,537 The Citadel of Ricks Redevelopment Fund donates — 19 00:00:37,669 --> 00:00:39,706 Morty, he's not gonna donate. 20 00:00:39,838 --> 00:00:41,203 You're pitching the Policeman's Ball 21 00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:42,671 to a black teenager here. 22 00:00:42,799 --> 00:00:44,289 - Let's go. - You don't have to be a dick. 23 00:00:44,426 --> 00:00:45,916 I think you know that's not true. 24 00:00:46,053 --> 00:00:47,885 Geez. I didn't know there were still Ricks and Mortys 25 00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:48,878 living on the Citadel. 26 00:00:49,014 --> 00:00:50,550 I wonder what their day-to-day lives are like. 27 00:00:50,682 --> 00:00:51,638 Well, you can keep wondering that 28 00:00:51,767 --> 00:00:52,723 while we go on a fun, fresh, 29 00:00:52,851 --> 00:00:54,933 self-contained adventure to Atlantis. 30 00:00:55,062 --> 00:00:58,054 Anyone continuing to explore the Citadel is either stupid 31 00:00:58,190 --> 00:00:59,351 or one of the unfortunate millions 32 00:00:59,483 --> 00:01:01,224 held hostage by their terrible ideas. 33 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,442 Man, I'm glad I'm not one of them! 34 00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:21,168 I I know there must be somethin' better I 35 00:01:51,201 --> 00:01:52,691 Citadel Morning News. 36 00:01:52,828 --> 00:01:54,444 News about the Citadel in the morning, 37 00:01:54,579 --> 00:01:55,944 pretty self-explanatory. 38 00:01:56,081 --> 00:01:57,992 Good morning. I'm Rick D-716B. 39 00:01:58,125 --> 00:02:00,537 - And I'm Rick D-716. - Must be nice. 40 00:02:00,669 --> 00:02:02,956 Coming up, gravity outages in East Sanchez Heights. 41 00:02:03,088 --> 00:02:04,999 And is your uranium-powered cellular matrix 42 00:02:05,132 --> 00:02:06,167 making you sick? 43 00:02:06,299 --> 00:02:07,960 The answer may not surprise you. 44 00:02:08,093 --> 00:02:09,834 It's — Yes, it's uranium. 45 00:02:09,970 --> 00:02:12,177 Those stories and more after this break. 46 00:02:12,305 --> 00:02:15,639 SAM ELLIOT: 60 iterations off the central finite curve, 47 00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:17,553 there's a Rick that works more with wood 48 00:02:17,686 --> 00:02:19,302 than polarity plating. 49 00:02:19,438 --> 00:02:22,476 His name is Simple Rick, but he's no dummy. 50 00:02:22,607 --> 00:02:24,018 He realized long ago 51 00:02:24,151 --> 00:02:26,062 that the greatest thing he'd ever create 52 00:02:26,194 --> 00:02:27,309 was his daughter. 53 00:02:27,446 --> 00:02:28,481 I love Daddy! 54 00:02:28,613 --> 00:02:29,774 We captured that moment. 55 00:02:29,906 --> 00:02:32,364 We run it on a loop through Simple Rick's mind, 56 00:02:32,492 --> 00:02:34,483 and the chemical it makes his brain secrete 57 00:02:34,619 --> 00:02:37,702 goes into every Simple Rick's "Simple Wafers" Wafer Cookie. 58 00:02:37,831 --> 00:02:39,617 Come home to the impossible flavor 59 00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:41,161 of your own completion. 60 00:02:41,293 --> 00:02:43,204 Come home to Simple Rick's. 61 00:02:43,336 --> 00:02:46,078 Just one day remains before our newly democratic Citadel 62 00:02:46,214 --> 00:02:47,750 elects its first President. 63 00:02:47,883 --> 00:02:50,170 It's anyone's race among the Rick candidates. 64 00:02:50,302 --> 00:02:51,918 But a certain other candidate should be getting 65 00:02:52,053 --> 00:02:54,385 at least one vote for most adorable. 66 00:02:54,514 --> 00:02:57,256 That's right. The Morty party candidate's still in the race, 67 00:02:57,392 --> 00:02:59,224 and you just gotta love him for that. 68 00:02:59,352 --> 00:03:01,138 Here you see him in his little Morty suit waving. 69 00:03:01,271 --> 00:03:03,353 Isn't that adorable? Little jackass. 70 00:03:03,482 --> 00:03:04,597 Uh, yeah, I think we actually have 71 00:03:04,733 --> 00:03:06,189 the audio for his speech here. 72 00:03:06,318 --> 00:03:07,479 "Aw, geez. Aw, man. 73 00:03:07,611 --> 00:03:09,193 I'm gonna lose the election and stuff." 74 00:03:11,406 --> 00:03:12,521 We had a good run, sir, 75 00:03:12,657 --> 00:03:14,739 but I think it's time to pull out of the race. 76 00:03:14,868 --> 00:03:16,859 I feel pretty confident about tonight's debate. 77 00:03:16,995 --> 00:03:19,578 You shouldn't, sir. You should be terrified. 78 00:03:19,706 --> 00:03:21,697 Maybe you should find a little faith, young man. 79 00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:24,200 You don't pay me to have faith. 80 00:03:24,336 --> 00:03:25,872 And we're the same age! 81 00:03:33,220 --> 00:03:34,506 - Aah! - Whoa! 82 00:03:36,765 --> 00:03:38,722 Oh. Sorry. H was expecting — 83 00:03:38,850 --> 00:03:39,715 A Rick partner? 84 00:03:39,851 --> 00:03:42,263 Lesson one, rookie, expect the unexpected. 85 00:03:42,395 --> 00:03:43,726 Now, get in. 86 00:03:45,357 --> 00:03:47,064 Mortys are human! 87 00:03:47,192 --> 00:03:49,559 Get the fuck off the car, you Rickless fuckin' animal! 88 00:03:49,694 --> 00:03:50,729 - Whoa! The election's 89 00:03:50,862 --> 00:03:52,318 got these yellow shirts more riled up 90 00:03:52,447 --> 00:03:53,733 than a picture-day Jessica. 91 00:03:53,865 --> 00:03:55,071 That's pretty harsh, sir. 92 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,736 So report me. Nobody gives a fuck. 93 00:03:56,868 --> 00:03:58,324 Look, I'm just saying, it makes me a little sad 94 00:03:58,453 --> 00:04:00,535 to hear a Morty cop calling Mortys animals. 95 00:04:00,664 --> 00:04:02,405 Well, it makes me sad to hear another Rick cop 96 00:04:02,541 --> 00:04:04,202 buying into his sensitivity training. 97 00:04:04,334 --> 00:04:05,790 Well, I'm glad to know there's more like me. 98 00:04:05,919 --> 00:04:06,909 Oh, there was one. 99 00:04:07,045 --> 00:04:09,377 Why do you think that seat was empty? 100 00:04:09,506 --> 00:04:11,713 Robbery at Fifth and Avenue. 101 00:04:11,842 --> 00:04:13,799 Fifth and That's Morty Town. 102 00:04:13,927 --> 00:04:14,792 Unit seven responding. 103 00:04:14,928 --> 00:04:16,214 - [Zaps} - Ohh! 104 00:04:18,557 --> 00:04:19,968 Good idea, Rick. 105 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:21,431 Good idea, Rick. 106 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,176 This is a great adventure. 107 00:04:23,311 --> 00:04:25,097 This is a great adventure. 108 00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:27,312 I love being your new Morty. 109 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,771 I love being your new Mor- 110 00:04:28,900 --> 00:04:30,356 - Farty. 111 00:04:30,485 --> 00:04:32,271 Very amusing, Mr. Smith. 112 00:04:32,404 --> 00:04:34,270 Almost as amusing as when your first Rick 113 00:04:34,406 --> 00:04:36,693 was decapitated on Zorpantheon Nine. 114 00:04:36,825 --> 00:04:39,692 Or was that your third Rick? How many Ricks have you had? 115 00:04:39,828 --> 00:04:41,193 - Five. - I see. 116 00:04:41,329 --> 00:04:43,821 So you are top of the class in something. 117 00:04:43,957 --> 00:04:46,164 Tomorrow you'll be transferred to your new Ricks. 118 00:04:46,293 --> 00:04:48,250 Hopefully they will be your last. 119 00:04:48,378 --> 00:04:50,289 Yes, Slow Ri— Tall Morty'? 120 00:04:50,422 --> 00:04:53,039 Di— Did I gradgitate this time yet? 121 00:04:53,174 --> 00:04:54,881 Anything's possible, Tall Morty. 122 00:04:58,847 --> 00:05:01,305 I guess we won't be seeing each other after this, huh? 123 00:05:01,433 --> 00:05:03,470 I say we make our last day count. 124 00:05:03,602 --> 00:05:05,843 I say... we go to the Wishing Portal. 125 00:05:05,979 --> 00:05:07,765 - That's a myth. - It's not a myth. 126 00:05:07,898 --> 00:05:09,434 My first Rick's fourth Morty 127 00:05:09,566 --> 00:05:10,897 knew a Rick whose Morty went there. 128 00:05:11,026 --> 00:05:12,642 If we're not here for graduation, 129 00:05:12,777 --> 00:05:14,233 our butts are gonna wind up in Morty Town. 130 00:05:14,362 --> 00:05:16,444 I thought your last Rick fused you with a lizard, 131 00:05:16,573 --> 00:05:17,563 not a chicken. 132 00:05:17,699 --> 00:05:19,030 Okay, fine. I'm in. 133 00:05:19,159 --> 00:05:20,399 Me too. 134 00:05:21,036 --> 00:05:24,028 - What the hell? - I thought I saw a fly. 135 00:05:33,965 --> 00:05:35,205 Listen up, fuck nuts. 136 00:05:35,342 --> 00:05:37,003 I've been your supervisor for five years, 137 00:05:37,135 --> 00:05:38,921 but all shitty things must come to an end, 138 00:05:39,054 --> 00:05:41,341 and I have been promoted to regional manager. 139 00:05:42,349 --> 00:05:44,681 Yeah, I feel the same way. May be never meet again. 140 00:05:44,809 --> 00:05:45,674 Of course, that makes 141 00:05:45,810 --> 00:05:47,221 the position of supervisor available, 142 00:05:47,354 --> 00:05:49,846 so, as of next week, the ass you'll be kissing 143 00:05:49,981 --> 00:05:51,392 will be that of... 144 00:05:51,524 --> 00:05:53,982 K-83, affectionately known as Cool Rick. 145 00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:56,317 - I know I'm new to the Citadel, 146 00:05:56,446 --> 00:05:58,483 and some of you might not think I put in my time, 147 00:05:58,615 --> 00:05:59,901 but what can I say? 148 00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:01,114 I'm Cool Rick! 149 00:06:01,242 --> 00:06:02,903 Yo! Ha! Ha! Check me out! 150 00:06:03,036 --> 00:06:04,993 All right knuckleheads, any questions? 151 00:06:06,081 --> 00:06:09,073 All right, then, back to work, you gold rickers. 152 00:06:17,717 --> 00:06:19,879 No Ricks, no families, 153 00:06:20,011 --> 00:06:22,252 high off their asses, and running amuck. 154 00:06:22,389 --> 00:06:24,300 Mortys are raised to be Sidekicks. 155 00:06:24,432 --> 00:06:27,174 Without a side to kick, they just start kicking. 156 00:06:27,978 --> 00:06:29,719 They were — They were about my height, 157 00:06:29,854 --> 00:06:31,265 around 14 years old. 158 00:06:31,398 --> 00:06:32,638 Oh, their — their shirts were yellow! 159 00:06:32,774 --> 00:06:34,230 Yeah, make sure you get that down. 160 00:06:34,359 --> 00:06:36,145 Any mutations, augmentations? 161 00:06:36,277 --> 00:06:38,268 Uh, three eyes? A tail? Maybe a buzz cut? 162 00:06:38,405 --> 00:06:39,816 No. Just four normal Mortys. 163 00:06:39,948 --> 00:06:41,734 - Normal? - Put it in your blog. 164 00:06:41,866 --> 00:06:43,402 Let me turn over a few rocks. 165 00:06:43,535 --> 00:06:46,402 Aw. 9992. Hey, what's goin' on, fellas? 166 00:06:46,538 --> 00:06:47,778 Aw, geez, man. Nothing, man. 167 00:06:47,914 --> 00:06:49,120 We're just hanging out and stuff. 168 00:06:49,249 --> 00:06:50,330 I hear that. Aw, geez. 169 00:06:50,458 --> 00:06:51,698 I guess I'm supposed to be figurin' out 170 00:06:51,835 --> 00:06:53,121 who robbed the store across the street. 171 00:06:53,253 --> 00:06:54,835 But, aw, geez, I don't know. 172 00:06:54,963 --> 00:06:56,078 Aw, geez man, that sucks 173 00:06:56,214 --> 00:06:57,500 that your Rick's making you do that. 174 00:06:57,632 --> 00:06:59,839 He's not my Rick. He's my partner. 175 00:06:59,968 --> 00:07:01,254 Aw, geez. 176 00:07:01,386 --> 00:07:03,502 Well, maybe the uniform makes a big difference. 177 00:07:03,638 --> 00:07:04,799 Who am I to say? 178 00:07:04,931 --> 00:07:07,298 To me, you just look like a sidekick. 179 00:07:07,434 --> 00:07:09,175 Call me a sidekick one more time! 180 00:07:09,310 --> 00:07:10,800 - Call me a sidekick! - Hey, man! Come on! Aw, geez! 181 00:07:10,937 --> 00:07:12,348 Wanna see how I paint a wall? 182 00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,970 It was the Morty Town Locos, man! 183 00:07:14,107 --> 00:07:15,518 - The — The Morty Town Locos! 184 00:07:15,650 --> 00:07:17,140 Aah! Aah! 185 00:07:17,277 --> 00:07:19,143 Do you realize how many codes you just violated? 186 00:07:19,279 --> 00:07:20,360 Aw, geez, Rick. 187 00:07:20,488 --> 00:07:22,024 What do I know about knowin' stuff? 188 00:07:22,157 --> 00:07:23,864 Get in the fuckin' car. 189 00:07:23,992 --> 00:07:25,278 More lasers. 190 00:07:25,410 --> 00:07:27,492 You could take more time to answer the question if you like. 191 00:07:29,622 --> 00:07:31,784 Okay, Juggling Rick, 192 00:07:31,916 --> 00:07:34,123 how would you solve the Citadel's financial crisis? 193 00:07:34,252 --> 00:07:36,459 First off, can I just say that I believe this Citadel 194 00:07:36,588 --> 00:07:38,704 is the greatest in the entire multi-verse. 195 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,797 Now, I believe the answer to your question 196 00:07:40,925 --> 00:07:42,165 has three parts. 197 00:07:42,302 --> 00:07:46,136 First, education spending must get much higher. 198 00:07:46,264 --> 00:07:48,096 But it has to be balanced with defense... 199 00:07:48,224 --> 00:07:50,135 - Whoa! Whoa! - Can we fact-check this please? 200 00:07:50,268 --> 00:07:51,429 Never mind. Who am I kidding? 201 00:07:51,561 --> 00:07:52,801 This race is over. 202 00:07:52,937 --> 00:07:55,645 And that's how you run a Citadel! 203 00:07:57,108 --> 00:08:00,021 Candidate Morty, the number of displaced Mortys is soaring 204 00:08:00,153 --> 00:08:02,110 while Rick satisfaction levels are plummeting, 205 00:08:02,238 --> 00:08:04,605 and the divide between the two groups has never been wider. 206 00:08:04,741 --> 00:08:06,323 Solve that one real quick. 207 00:08:08,119 --> 00:08:10,861 I don't see a divide between Ricks and Mortys. 208 00:08:10,997 --> 00:08:11,953 Oh, shocker. 209 00:08:14,042 --> 00:08:15,828 I'd like to offer are-buttal. 210 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,327 Gentlemen, gentlemen, I think we can all agree on one thing. 211 00:08:18,463 --> 00:08:20,249 Well, it came out as two things, 212 00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:21,871 but you get the idea. 213 00:08:22,008 --> 00:08:23,339 - You guys finished? 214 00:08:24,677 --> 00:08:27,009 The division I see is between the Ricks and Mortys 215 00:08:27,138 --> 00:08:28,845 that like the Citadel divided... 216 00:08:28,973 --> 00:08:30,429 and the rest of us. 217 00:08:31,643 --> 00:08:32,974 I see it everywhere I go. 218 00:08:33,103 --> 00:08:34,593 I see it in our schools 219 00:08:34,729 --> 00:08:36,311 where they teach Mortys we're all the same, 220 00:08:36,439 --> 00:08:38,430 because they're threatened by what makes us unique. 221 00:08:38,566 --> 00:08:41,274 I see it in our streets where they give guns to Mortys 222 00:08:41,402 --> 00:08:44,861 so we're too busy fighting each other to fight real injustice. 223 00:08:44,989 --> 00:08:46,275 I see it in our factories 224 00:08:46,407 --> 00:08:49,024 where Ricks work for a fraction of their boss' salary 225 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,697 even though they're identical and have the same IQ. 226 00:08:52,872 --> 00:08:55,079 The Citadel's problem isn't homeless Mortys 227 00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:56,573 or outraged Ricks. 228 00:08:59,671 --> 00:09:02,288 The Citadel's problem is the Ricks and Mortys 229 00:09:02,423 --> 00:09:03,629 feeding on the Citadel's death. 230 00:09:03,758 --> 00:09:05,715 - Holy shit. 231 00:09:05,844 --> 00:09:08,085 He's headed for the flavor core! 232 00:09:08,221 --> 00:09:10,337 But I've got a message for them, 233 00:09:10,473 --> 00:09:13,306 from the Ricks and Mortys keeping it alive, 234 00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:16,426 a message from the Ricks and Mortys 235 00:09:16,563 --> 00:09:19,225 that believe in this Citadel 236 00:09:19,357 --> 00:09:21,598 to the Ricks and Mortys that don't. 237 00:09:22,402 --> 00:09:24,734 You're outnumbered. 238 00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:31,616 Holy shit. 239 00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:33,826 I don't believe it. 240 00:09:33,955 --> 00:09:35,241 I-I can't believe it. 241 00:09:35,373 --> 00:09:37,580 I know. That's why you're fired. 242 00:09:39,377 --> 00:09:40,788 Sounds like you're looking for work. 243 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,662 I can offer you a very enticing compensation package. 244 00:09:43,798 --> 00:09:45,709 First, let's talk benefits. 245 00:09:46,384 --> 00:09:49,297 Daddy loves you. That's Daddy's good girl. 246 00:09:49,429 --> 00:09:50,544 Your life is a lie, man. 247 00:09:50,680 --> 00:09:52,591 All your life's are lies! Don't you get it? 248 00:09:52,724 --> 00:09:54,635 They told us we were special because we were Ricks, 249 00:09:54,767 --> 00:09:56,758 but they stripped us of everything that made us unique! 250 00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:57,760 We know how you feel. 251 00:09:57,896 --> 00:09:59,603 We're working-stiff Ricks just like you. 252 00:09:59,731 --> 00:10:01,392 But our assembly line is justice. 253 00:10:01,524 --> 00:10:02,605 What are your demands? 254 00:10:02,734 --> 00:10:04,020 I-I-I want a portal gun. 255 00:10:04,152 --> 00:10:05,483 Unregistered, untraceable, 256 00:10:05,612 --> 00:10:08,274 with enough fluid to take me off this goddamn prison! 257 00:10:08,406 --> 00:10:11,114 - The media's outside. - Well, keep 'em there. 258 00:10:11,242 --> 00:10:13,904 Anyway, so, yeah, the suspect says the Citadel's a lie, 259 00:10:14,037 --> 00:10:15,823 built on lies, and some other shit. 260 00:10:15,955 --> 00:10:17,821 I say appreciate the life you have, 261 00:10:17,957 --> 00:10:19,447 because it can always be worse. 262 00:10:19,584 --> 00:10:20,449 Back to you, Ricks. 263 00:10:20,585 --> 00:10:22,667 Thank you, Rick 0716-C. 264 00:10:22,795 --> 00:10:24,206 - That fuckin' guy. - Tell me about it. 265 00:10:24,339 --> 00:10:25,829 Meanwhile, in election news, 266 00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:28,753 an unexpected turn of events as Morty from the Morty Party 267 00:10:28,885 --> 00:10:30,341 soars to the top of the polls. 268 00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:32,632 - Morty! Morty! Morty! - Yes. 269 00:10:32,764 --> 00:10:35,131 Morty, what's your original reality, and where's your Rick? 270 00:10:35,266 --> 00:10:38,349 Gosh, we moved around so much, it's hard to remember. 271 00:10:38,478 --> 00:10:40,139 I see every Rick as my Rick. 272 00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:42,308 I hope they see me as their Morty. 273 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,681 Another? Please? With less water? 274 00:10:44,817 --> 00:10:46,182 Hey, cheer up, pal. 275 00:10:46,319 --> 00:10:47,809 A Morty's gonna be president. 276 00:10:47,946 --> 00:10:50,654 Imagine this kisser getting blamed for everything. 277 00:10:50,782 --> 00:10:52,614 I guess I should've had more faith. 278 00:10:52,742 --> 00:10:55,359 It's not faith you need. It's fear. 279 00:10:56,454 --> 00:10:58,161 What's this? 280 00:10:58,289 --> 00:11:00,280 It's secrets. 281 00:11:00,416 --> 00:11:01,406 Wh-Wh-Wh-What do you think it is? 282 00:11:01,542 --> 00:11:02,407 Look at how I'm dressed. 283 00:11:02,543 --> 00:11:03,874 Having taken aim at the system, 284 00:11:04,003 --> 00:11:05,368 are afraid at all for your safety? 285 00:11:05,505 --> 00:11:06,995 I'd rather live in hope than fear. 286 00:11:07,131 --> 00:11:10,544 If I had to fear anything, I'd fear other people being afraid. 287 00:11:10,677 --> 00:11:11,758 Of fear. Itself. 288 00:11:11,886 --> 00:11:13,593 But, no, I'm not afraid. 289 00:11:13,721 --> 00:11:14,586 MORTY TOWN LOCO #1: Hey, Rick, man, 290 00:11:14,722 --> 00:11:17,339 when there's a Morty president, you gonna lick my balls or what? 291 00:11:17,475 --> 00:11:18,556 Sheeeet, grandson, 292 00:11:18,685 --> 00:11:21,177 you keep me peelin' skrabquams and slippin' nib nibs, 293 00:11:21,312 --> 00:11:23,098 I'll lick whatever ain't nailed down. 294 00:11:24,482 --> 00:11:25,267 Hands in the air! 295 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,107 What the hell, man? What the hellin' hell? 296 00:11:27,235 --> 00:11:28,646 You guys doing a little chemistry homework 297 00:11:28,778 --> 00:11:30,689 - with Grandpa? - Is this what I think it is? 298 00:11:30,822 --> 00:11:32,062 Bootleg portal fluid. 299 00:11:36,995 --> 00:11:38,281 I guess his math was off. 300 00:11:38,413 --> 00:11:39,653 Search the place. 301 00:11:44,043 --> 00:11:47,081 Are — Are you... my new... R-Rick? 302 00:11:47,213 --> 00:11:48,578 It's okay, Morty. 303 00:11:54,178 --> 00:11:55,634 Jesus. 304 00:11:55,763 --> 00:11:57,128 He stabbed me. He got me had, Morty. 305 00:11:57,265 --> 00:11:58,926 Shh. It's okay. You're okay. 306 00:11:59,058 --> 00:12:00,264 You were right. 307 00:12:00,393 --> 00:12:01,849 Everything I learned at the academy was — 308 00:12:01,978 --> 00:12:02,763 Doesn't matter. 309 00:12:02,895 --> 00:12:04,886 Nothing's wrong with putting your faith in a Morty. 310 00:12:05,023 --> 00:12:06,855 You just gotta pick the right one. 311 00:12:06,983 --> 00:12:08,439 Why is there a crib in here? 312 00:12:08,568 --> 00:12:10,730 Something they do. To make you feel bad. 313 00:12:10,862 --> 00:12:13,024 Boy, I got us knee-deep in paperwork, huh? 314 00:12:13,156 --> 00:12:14,817 Go to the car and grab a mam-pack. 315 00:12:14,949 --> 00:12:16,610 Let me worry about this. 316 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:25,707 - What happened? - Same old story. 317 00:12:25,835 --> 00:12:28,122 Mortys killing Mortys. 318 00:12:31,257 --> 00:12:34,124 Almost... got it. 319 00:12:34,260 --> 00:12:35,421 Hey! 320 00:12:35,553 --> 00:12:37,590 Y'all get the hell away from my damn mega fruit! 321 00:12:38,723 --> 00:12:40,259 - Sic 'em, boy! 322 00:12:40,391 --> 00:12:41,381 I don't wear this dag-nab hat 323 00:12:41,517 --> 00:12:43,099 and commit to this rural character 324 00:12:43,227 --> 00:12:45,309 so you can eat for free while you come of age! 325 00:12:45,438 --> 00:12:47,554 I bet the Wishing Portal leads to a reality 326 00:12:47,690 --> 00:12:48,555 where they're - where all - 327 00:12:48,691 --> 00:12:50,932 where it's a bunch of French toast with boobies. 328 00:12:51,069 --> 00:12:52,605 I bet it leads to a place with a bunch of fry — 329 00:12:52,737 --> 00:12:54,273 fly — flies everywhere. 330 00:12:54,405 --> 00:12:56,066 Yeah, I bet it goes nowhere. 331 00:12:56,199 --> 00:12:57,064 I bet it's a big hole 332 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,191 where the Citadel dumps all its broken dreams. 333 00:12:59,327 --> 00:13:01,318 Slick, why do you have to be so dramatic? 334 00:13:01,454 --> 00:13:03,411 You wanna know why? Because of this. 335 00:13:03,539 --> 00:13:05,200 I'm part of an experimental line of Mortys 336 00:13:05,333 --> 00:13:06,823 with a drama implant. 337 00:13:06,959 --> 00:13:08,825 How do you think it feels, Fat Morty, 338 00:13:08,961 --> 00:13:10,247 to know that no matter where I go, 339 00:13:10,380 --> 00:13:11,541 I'll always be the one 340 00:13:11,672 --> 00:13:14,039 that makes everybody sad and a little bored? 341 00:13:14,175 --> 00:13:16,416 Slick, that implant isn't who you are, okay? 342 00:13:16,552 --> 00:13:19,044 You also roll up your sleeves. 343 00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:21,467 I thought I was Left-Handed Morty. 344 00:13:21,599 --> 00:13:24,466 Then you should use your left hand to eat more vegetables. 345 00:13:24,602 --> 00:13:26,718 Hey, there. How you doing? Great to meet you. 346 00:13:26,854 --> 00:13:29,016 I'm a plumber, sir. I'm a Rick, and I'm a plumber. 347 00:13:29,148 --> 00:13:30,229 That doesn't sound like Rick work. 348 00:13:30,358 --> 00:13:32,315 You didn't come to the Citadel to be a plumber, did you? 349 00:13:32,443 --> 00:13:33,649 Ha! ha! I sure didn't, sir! 350 00:13:33,778 --> 00:13:34,813 Mr. Morty! Mr. Morty! 351 00:13:34,946 --> 00:13:37,028 I cloned myself so you could kiss me as a baby! 352 00:13:37,156 --> 00:13:38,521 This is just like a Morty baby! 353 00:13:40,993 --> 00:13:43,610 Hey, did you, uh, end up getting a new job? 354 00:13:43,746 --> 00:13:45,737 Yeah, I did. Assassinating you. 355 00:13:47,792 --> 00:13:50,375 I'm okay. I'm okay. 356 00:13:56,634 --> 00:14:00,468 Aw, man. Aw, geez. Aw, hah. 357 00:14:00,596 --> 00:14:02,337 You look like you could use a good time. 358 00:14:02,473 --> 00:14:04,680 One dance for $10, two for $25. 359 00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:07,176 No, thank you. And bad math. 360 00:14:07,311 --> 00:14:09,177 Ha! Ha! Yeah! This is a good time! 361 00:14:09,313 --> 00:14:11,350 - What is this place? - The Creepy Morty. 362 00:14:11,482 --> 00:14:13,223 What is it your kind's always saying? 363 00:14:13,359 --> 00:14:14,690 "Don't think about it." 364 00:14:14,819 --> 00:14:17,356 Come on. There's someone important I want you to meet. 365 00:14:17,488 --> 00:14:19,354 Ah, Bubbala! 366 00:14:19,490 --> 00:14:21,572 How'd it go with the Morty Town Locos? 367 00:14:21,701 --> 00:14:22,941 They had a little accident. 368 00:14:23,077 --> 00:14:24,909 They won't be causing any trouble anymore. 369 00:14:25,037 --> 00:14:28,371 Those were bad Mortys. Very bad Mortys. 370 00:14:29,500 --> 00:14:31,116 Big Morty likes to contribute 371 00:14:31,252 --> 00:14:33,038 to keeping the peace in Morty Town. 372 00:14:33,171 --> 00:14:36,789 Think of him as a "drug lord" and us as cops on his payroll. 373 00:14:36,924 --> 00:14:38,255 - Morty... Which Morty? 374 00:14:38,384 --> 00:14:39,920 M-M-My partner. 375 00:14:40,052 --> 00:14:42,009 Morty, you're right. Morty Town is bad. 376 00:14:42,138 --> 00:14:43,879 But that doesn't mean that we have to be. 377 00:14:44,015 --> 00:14:45,722 Hey, what's going on here. Marty? 378 00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:48,137 Which Morty? - The cop, morons! 379 00:14:48,269 --> 00:14:49,680 Don't worry about Rick, Big Morty. 380 00:14:49,812 --> 00:14:50,597 He's new. 381 00:14:50,730 --> 00:14:52,812 He doesn't understand how it works. 382 00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:55,272 That's what you said about your last partner. 383 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,101 Why would you say something like that, Big Morty? 384 00:14:58,237 --> 00:15:00,353 You're fucking things up for both of us here. 385 00:15:00,490 --> 00:15:03,733 Wrong. He's fucking things up for both of you. 386 00:15:03,868 --> 00:15:06,155 Unless he takes the money. 387 00:15:06,954 --> 00:15:08,661 Big Morty, you're under arrest. 388 00:15:08,789 --> 00:15:10,996 S-Smartest man in the universe. 389 00:15:17,215 --> 00:15:19,172 They're just props! Th-They're just props! 390 00:15:21,010 --> 00:15:23,092 - Not so big now, are ya? 391 00:15:23,221 --> 00:15:24,928 I never was! It was figurative! 392 00:15:25,056 --> 00:15:25,761 That's enough. 393 00:15:25,890 --> 00:15:27,051 If we don't kill him, he'll talk. 394 00:15:27,183 --> 00:15:28,639 If you do, I'll talk. 395 00:15:28,768 --> 00:15:29,929 O-One thing's for sure. 396 00:15:30,061 --> 00:15:32,553 Y-Y'all don't have to worry about Cowboy Morty talkin'. 397 00:15:32,688 --> 00:15:35,931 This little cowpoke's gonna mosey up on out of here. 398 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:38,149 You told me to put my faith in the right Morty. 399 00:15:38,277 --> 00:15:39,813 I've got faith in you, partner. 400 00:15:39,946 --> 00:15:41,528 Do the right thing. 401 00:15:42,949 --> 00:15:44,110 Oh, Grandpa Rick, 402 00:15:44,242 --> 00:15:46,028 I-I don't wanna be on the Citadel anymore. 403 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,742 I wanna be a regular kid. 404 00:15:47,870 --> 00:15:49,781 I-I wanna to go to school and throw balls around 405 00:15:49,914 --> 00:15:51,325 and masturbate. 406 00:15:59,632 --> 00:16:01,043 What the hell happened in there? 407 00:16:01,175 --> 00:16:02,540 Same old story. 408 00:16:02,677 --> 00:16:04,634 Ricks killing Mortys. 409 00:16:04,762 --> 00:16:07,299 Okay, man, okay, we got your portal gun. 410 00:16:13,271 --> 00:16:14,887 What the hell's he doing? 411 00:16:15,022 --> 00:16:17,184 Where - Where am I? - A bad place. 412 00:16:17,316 --> 00:16:18,898 But you're going to a better one soon. 413 00:16:19,026 --> 00:16:21,313 Hey! Hey! 414 00:16:21,445 --> 00:16:23,482 - No, no, no, no! - Whaa— 415 00:16:23,614 --> 00:16:24,479 God damn it! 416 00:16:24,615 --> 00:16:26,401 A portal to the blender dimension? 417 00:16:26,534 --> 00:16:27,865 That's the oldest trick in the book! 418 00:16:27,994 --> 00:16:29,905 I'm a Rick! I'm more Rick than any of you! 419 00:16:30,037 --> 00:16:32,324 Then you should know you just killed your only leverage! 420 00:16:32,456 --> 00:16:33,912 Then comes and get me, motherfuckers! 421 00:16:38,421 --> 00:16:41,459 Stop. I'm Rick D. Sanchez the Third, 422 00:16:41,591 --> 00:16:43,332 owner of this here wafer establishment, 423 00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:45,549 and I say that the Rick in there is right. 424 00:16:45,678 --> 00:16:46,918 He's more Rick than any of you. 425 00:16:47,054 --> 00:16:48,169 He's a terrorist! 426 00:16:48,306 --> 00:16:49,341 What Rick isn't? 427 00:16:49,473 --> 00:16:52,431 The Citadel was founded by Ricks for Ricks to be free! 428 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,016 What's your name, young man? 429 00:16:54,145 --> 00:16:56,227 - Rick. And I'm - - The same age as me, I know. 430 00:16:56,355 --> 00:16:58,517 - How long have you worked here? - 15 years. 431 00:16:58,649 --> 00:17:00,105 What the hell have we become? 432 00:17:00,234 --> 00:17:02,646 Whatever time you were gonna make him serve, he's served it. 433 00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:04,018 It ends now. 434 00:17:04,155 --> 00:17:05,737 - Come with me, friend. - Where are we going? 435 00:17:05,865 --> 00:17:06,900 To your new life. 436 00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:09,240 Which starts with walking the fuck out of here. 437 00:17:09,368 --> 00:17:11,279 - Yo J-22, give 'em hell! 438 00:17:13,873 --> 00:17:15,739 There's a Rick that held a factory hostage 439 00:17:15,875 --> 00:17:18,788 after murdering his boss and several co-workers. 440 00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:22,878 The factory made cookies, flavored them with lies. 441 00:17:23,007 --> 00:17:24,873 He made us all take a look at what we were doing. 442 00:17:25,009 --> 00:17:27,546 And in the bargain, he got a taste of real freedom. 443 00:17:29,764 --> 00:17:32,506 We captured that taste, and we keep giving it to him 444 00:17:32,642 --> 00:17:34,258 so he can give it right back to you 445 00:17:34,393 --> 00:17:37,556 in every bite of new Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Selects. 446 00:17:37,688 --> 00:17:39,895 Come home to the unique flavor 447 00:17:40,024 --> 00:17:41,981 of shattering the grand illusion. 448 00:17:42,109 --> 00:17:44,567 Come home to Simple Rick. 449 00:17:44,695 --> 00:17:46,982 It is real. 450 00:17:48,658 --> 00:17:49,819 After you. 451 00:17:55,414 --> 00:17:58,497 There it is. The Wishing Portal. 452 00:17:58,626 --> 00:18:00,208 They say for your wish to come true, 453 00:18:00,336 --> 00:18:03,294 you have to give up something really important. 454 00:18:03,422 --> 00:18:05,504 For me, that's my panini maker. 455 00:18:05,633 --> 00:18:08,170 I wish for a million sandwiches. 456 00:18:08,302 --> 00:18:10,134 And, yes, I see the irony. 457 00:18:10,262 --> 00:18:11,752 I guess I wish I had something cooler 458 00:18:11,889 --> 00:18:13,379 than this dumb-ass surfer necklace. 459 00:18:14,225 --> 00:18:17,343 I wish incest porn had — had a more mainstream appeal. 460 00:18:17,478 --> 00:18:18,968 For — For a friend of mine. 461 00:18:19,105 --> 00:18:20,971 None of those things are gonna happen, you know. 462 00:18:21,107 --> 00:18:23,394 Morty wishes never come true. 463 00:18:23,526 --> 00:18:24,687 Not on the Citadel. 464 00:18:24,819 --> 00:18:26,025 Then why did you bring us here? 465 00:18:26,153 --> 00:18:27,735 Because I wish that would change. 466 00:18:27,863 --> 00:18:30,150 I wish anything about this life would change. 467 00:18:30,282 --> 00:18:31,317 Well, I hope you're putting something 468 00:18:31,450 --> 00:18:33,487 pretty goddamn important in there. 469 00:18:33,619 --> 00:18:34,780 Me too. 470 00:18:34,912 --> 00:18:36,152 But I doubt it. 471 00:18:36,872 --> 00:18:38,613 - No! - Slick! 472 00:18:40,584 --> 00:18:42,074 M-Maybe... 473 00:18:42,211 --> 00:18:43,793 Maybe it went somewhere nice. 474 00:18:43,921 --> 00:18:45,286 Garbage dump. 475 00:18:45,423 --> 00:18:47,380 Stand back. 476 00:18:51,971 --> 00:18:53,132 He had to be stopped. 477 00:18:53,264 --> 00:18:55,631 He — He cou— He 0— couldn't be allowed to win. 478 00:18:55,766 --> 00:18:57,552 Then you should've worked on your aim, bro. 479 00:18:57,685 --> 00:18:59,847 He's alive? No, no, no. You gotta listen to me. 480 00:18:59,979 --> 00:19:02,311 I-I worked for him. I was his campaign manager. 481 00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,397 That Morty is not what he seems. 482 00:19:04,525 --> 00:19:06,937 Yeah, well, no Morty seems like a president. 483 00:19:07,069 --> 00:19:08,980 - He... won? - Yeah. 484 00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:11,320 It was a blowout. 485 00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:12,939 I would hardly call it a blowout. 486 00:19:13,075 --> 00:19:14,782 It was almost close enough to trigger a recount. 487 00:19:14,910 --> 00:19:17,368 Jesus. What are you, joke security now, too? 488 00:19:18,164 --> 00:19:19,029 Why am I still here? 489 00:19:19,165 --> 00:19:20,701 I heard he confessed to everything. 490 00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:22,949 Your case has been reviewed. You're free to go. 491 00:19:23,085 --> 00:19:25,918 But... l violated at least a dozen departmental codes. 492 00:19:26,046 --> 00:19:27,912 New department. New codes. 493 00:19:28,048 --> 00:19:29,413 New Citadel. 494 00:19:29,550 --> 00:19:32,508 Did we miss graduation? Where are the new Ricks? 495 00:19:32,636 --> 00:19:34,343 No graduation. No new Ricks. 496 00:19:34,472 --> 00:19:36,133 The school's curriculum is changing. 497 00:19:36,265 --> 00:19:36,879 To what? 498 00:19:37,016 --> 00:19:38,302 I don't know, and I don't have to know. 499 00:19:38,434 --> 00:19:39,390 I've been fired. 500 00:19:39,518 --> 00:19:40,883 Good luck, turds. 501 00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:43,512 Holy crap. Slick's wish came true. 502 00:19:45,399 --> 00:19:46,764 Sorry I'm late, Mr. President. 503 00:19:46,901 --> 00:19:49,268 - Had a little crisis at work. - Worth it! 504 00:19:49,403 --> 00:19:50,689 It's no problem. 505 00:19:50,821 --> 00:19:52,357 Uh, a little more off the top. 506 00:19:52,490 --> 00:19:55,107 You were saying, Garment District Rick. 507 00:19:55,242 --> 00:19:57,904 We were saying, "President" Morty, 508 00:19:58,037 --> 00:19:59,573 that we don't care who sits in that seat. 509 00:19:59,705 --> 00:20:02,117 A Rick, a Morty, a goddamn Jerry, doesn't matter. 510 00:20:02,249 --> 00:20:04,490 We've been running the Citadel since before the council, 511 00:20:04,627 --> 00:20:06,459 and you'll find that we're still running it now. 512 00:20:06,587 --> 00:20:08,578 Does he really speak for everyone here? 513 00:20:08,714 --> 00:20:09,328 - Mm-hmm. - Yeah. 514 00:20:09,465 --> 00:20:11,126 Well, I think it's important to be clear. 515 00:20:11,258 --> 00:20:12,965 Raise your hand if he speaks for you. 516 00:20:18,307 --> 00:20:20,298 Is... that enough off the top? 517 00:20:20,434 --> 00:20:22,641 I don't know. Is it? 518 00:20:22,770 --> 00:20:23,976 - Yes, yes, goddamn, yes. - I think it's great. 519 00:20:24,104 --> 00:20:25,765 Good. 520 00:20:25,898 --> 00:20:27,855 This seems like a good time for a drink 521 00:20:27,983 --> 00:20:31,442 and a cold calculated speech with sinister overtones. 522 00:20:32,196 --> 00:20:34,938 A speech about politics... 523 00:20:35,074 --> 00:20:36,610 about order... 524 00:20:38,911 --> 00:20:40,276 Power. 525 00:20:40,412 --> 00:20:42,619 But speeches are for campaigning. 526 00:20:42,748 --> 00:20:45,490 Now is the time for action. 527 00:21:43,350 --> 00:21:45,432 Whoo! Yeah! 528 00:21:45,561 --> 00:21:47,643 - Atlantis, baby! - That was amazing. 529 00:21:47,771 --> 00:21:49,182 You got some of that mermaid puss. 530 00:21:49,315 --> 00:21:50,646 I'm really hoping it wasn't a one-off thing 531 00:21:50,774 --> 00:21:51,730 and I can see her again. 532 00:21:51,859 --> 00:21:53,816 By the way, hey, um, still not curious about 533 00:21:53,944 --> 00:21:56,026 what might've happened at that crazy Citadel place? 534 00:21:56,155 --> 00:21:58,021 Psh. Not at all, Morty. That place will never have 535 00:21:58,157 --> 00:22:00,194 any bearing over our lives ever again. 536 00:22:00,326 --> 00:22:02,442 Unlike that mermaid puss! Yeah! 537 00:22:02,578 --> 00:22:03,909 We're going back for seconds! 538 00:22:04,038 --> 00:22:05,620 We're gonna do that shit every week, man! 539 00:22:05,748 --> 00:22:07,580 - That was Atlantis! - Oh, shit!