1 00:00:26,366 --> 00:00:27,948 - Jerry! Jerry, come on! 2 00:00:28,076 --> 00:00:29,157 We got to go! You got to come with me, jerry! 3 00:00:29,286 --> 00:00:30,447 - Rick? - It's important, jerry. 4 00:00:30,579 --> 00:00:32,490 The fate of the galaxy rests on your shoulders. 5 00:00:32,623 --> 00:00:33,909 Let's go. Put some pants on. 6 00:00:34,041 --> 00:00:35,998 N-Never mind, there's no time for pants, jerry. 7 00:00:36,126 --> 00:00:37,708 I'll make you a pair of pants on the way. 8 00:00:37,836 --> 00:00:39,452 It's a rick and jerry adventure! 9 00:00:39,588 --> 00:00:41,329 Rick and jerry episode! 10 00:01:13,330 --> 00:01:15,287 Then i thought, "hey, what about jerry? 11 00:01:15,415 --> 00:01:17,326 He's — he's good with regular folk." 12 00:01:17,459 --> 00:01:19,325 This is a real situation where — where — 13 00:01:19,461 --> 00:01:20,997 Where jerry could really shine. 14 00:01:21,129 --> 00:01:22,711 He's a master convincer." 15 00:01:22,839 --> 00:01:25,126 Rick, i'm not an idiot. I know what this is. 16 00:01:25,258 --> 00:01:26,999 Oh. Okay, well, i told morty, 17 00:01:27,135 --> 00:01:29,297 "look, parents get divorced. They get sad. He'll be fine," 18 00:01:29,429 --> 00:01:32,137 But i think he's worried you're gonna, you know... Pbht! 19 00:01:32,265 --> 00:01:33,721 And you know how morty gets when he gets emotional. 20 00:01:33,850 --> 00:01:34,760 It impedes my work. 21 00:01:34,893 --> 00:01:37,055 So, i told him i'd take you out and give you a win. 22 00:01:37,187 --> 00:01:38,552 Wait. My son asked you to take me 23 00:01:38,689 --> 00:01:42,148 On some kind of pity adventure to keep me from killing myself? 24 00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:43,606 Wait, w-What did you think it was? 25 00:01:43,735 --> 00:01:45,100 An execution. 26 00:01:45,237 --> 00:01:47,228 Geez! You really do need a win. 27 00:01:47,364 --> 00:01:48,695 No! I-I don't know. 28 00:01:48,824 --> 00:01:50,440 I mean, you never made me the pants, so — 29 00:01:50,575 --> 00:01:51,861 So, you thought i was gonna drive you 30 00:01:51,993 --> 00:01:53,654 Into the middle of the galaxy and shove you 31 00:01:53,787 --> 00:01:55,528 Into the vacuum of space with your dick hanging out? 32 00:01:55,664 --> 00:01:58,281 And we're seeing how you'd act if that were about to happen? 33 00:01:58,417 --> 00:02:00,033 I mean, shit, i'll make you the pants right now. 34 00:02:00,168 --> 00:02:01,033 Take me two seconds to make you pants. 35 00:02:01,169 --> 00:02:02,876 - I have pants at home! - Jerry, if i make pants, 36 00:02:03,004 --> 00:02:04,335 They'll be better than your pants at home. 37 00:02:04,464 --> 00:02:05,545 Also, if i wanted to kill you — 38 00:02:05,674 --> 00:02:07,665 Yeah, i get it. It'd be amazing. 39 00:02:07,801 --> 00:02:08,882 Please, take me home. 40 00:02:09,010 --> 00:02:10,671 I'll tell my son we had an amazing adventure. 41 00:02:10,804 --> 00:02:11,760 Well, if it's all the same, 42 00:02:11,888 --> 00:02:13,128 Could we go get our story straight? 43 00:02:13,265 --> 00:02:14,346 Because you're a terrible liar. 44 00:02:14,474 --> 00:02:15,930 You called me a master convincer! 45 00:02:16,059 --> 00:02:17,049 You believed me? 46 00:02:23,108 --> 00:02:24,815 Huh. This seems... Kind of fancy. 47 00:02:24,943 --> 00:02:26,479 Jerry, for all you know, this is the equivalent 48 00:02:26,611 --> 00:02:27,692 Of an alien truck stop. 49 00:02:27,821 --> 00:02:28,936 You have no frame of reference. 50 00:02:29,072 --> 00:02:30,654 You're in a universe beyond your imagining. 51 00:02:30,782 --> 00:02:32,898 But, yes, it is super fancy. 52 00:02:33,034 --> 00:02:34,365 I mean, my job here is to make morty happy. 53 00:02:34,494 --> 00:02:35,984 I'm not gonna take you somewhere dangerous. 54 00:02:36,121 --> 00:02:38,032 - Rick sanchez. 55 00:02:38,165 --> 00:02:40,327 I told you if i ever saw your face in here again, 56 00:02:40,459 --> 00:02:42,200 I would stick you like the pig you are. 57 00:02:42,335 --> 00:02:45,669 Shnoopy bloopers, i told you if you tried... 58 00:02:45,797 --> 00:02:47,913 There'd be two funerals. 59 00:02:48,049 --> 00:02:49,915 Aaah! 60 00:02:50,051 --> 00:02:51,633 Someone? 61 00:02:52,512 --> 00:02:55,095 Uh, someone? Someone! 62 00:02:59,144 --> 00:03:00,976 My friend! It has been too long. 63 00:03:01,104 --> 00:03:02,560 Oh, it's great to see you again, buddy! 64 00:03:02,689 --> 00:03:04,430 - Yeah, you're doing it. 65 00:03:04,566 --> 00:03:06,603 Mr. Sanchez gets anything he wants! 66 00:03:06,735 --> 00:03:08,567 The resort's covered in an immortality field. 67 00:03:08,695 --> 00:03:10,151 You can't die here. That's the gimmick. 68 00:03:13,992 --> 00:03:15,653 Okay, but still — bad parenting. 69 00:03:15,786 --> 00:03:17,402 Hey, rich a-Holes are rich a-Holes. 70 00:03:17,537 --> 00:03:18,902 They all pay top dollar to come here 71 00:03:19,039 --> 00:03:20,780 And enjoy a consequence-Free vacation. 72 00:03:20,916 --> 00:03:22,873 No death, no disease, no dismemberment. 73 00:03:23,001 --> 00:03:24,833 - Can't even have a heart attack. 74 00:03:24,961 --> 00:03:25,996 Got it. The perfect place 75 00:03:26,129 --> 00:03:28,120 To take the most fragile being in the universe. 76 00:03:28,256 --> 00:03:29,667 I can tell you expect me to refute that, 77 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:30,915 But it's right on the money. 78 00:03:31,051 --> 00:03:31,961 If i come home without you, 79 00:03:32,093 --> 00:03:33,549 I doubt morty's gonna let me off the hook. 80 00:03:33,678 --> 00:03:36,215 Yeah, but what if you came home with jeff goldblum? 81 00:03:36,348 --> 00:03:38,931 Jeff goldblum? What the fuck are you talking about, jerry? 82 00:03:39,059 --> 00:03:40,220 Jesus! 83 00:03:40,352 --> 00:03:41,934 Holy fucking shit! 84 00:03:42,062 --> 00:03:43,348 Yo, what's up, "big chill"? 85 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:44,891 Don't go into that telepod! 86 00:03:46,024 --> 00:03:48,015 Hey, maybe we would have fun on a fake adventure. 87 00:03:48,151 --> 00:03:49,812 On a fake adventure. 88 00:03:49,945 --> 00:03:51,731 Speaking of, what are we gonna tell morty? 89 00:03:51,863 --> 00:03:53,353 I don't know. But whatever it is, 90 00:03:53,490 --> 00:03:55,322 We're gonna need a couple more of these babies! 91 00:03:57,118 --> 00:03:59,485 - What's wrong? 92 00:03:59,621 --> 00:04:01,532 Mom, do you think i'm hot? 93 00:04:01,665 --> 00:04:04,953 I... Don't think that's something that matters. 94 00:04:05,085 --> 00:04:06,701 So, i'm not hot? 95 00:04:06,837 --> 00:04:08,999 I'm saying the part of you that cares about that 96 00:04:09,130 --> 00:04:10,837 Is a part you shouldn't give any energy to. 97 00:04:10,966 --> 00:04:12,081 That's not an answer! 98 00:04:12,217 --> 00:04:14,083 Because i'm not an issue of cosmo, okay? 99 00:04:14,219 --> 00:04:15,300 I'm your mother and a doctor, and — 100 00:04:15,428 --> 00:04:16,714 I'm hideous! 101 00:04:18,139 --> 00:04:19,300 Geez. What's with her? 102 00:04:19,432 --> 00:04:21,469 Teenage-Girl stuff. 103 00:04:21,601 --> 00:04:24,343 Is that a... Hoof collage? 104 00:04:24,479 --> 00:04:27,141 It's perfectly legal, if that's what you're wondering. 105 00:04:27,274 --> 00:04:30,107 Cool... Zies. 106 00:04:30,235 --> 00:04:32,772 "we just don't have anything in common anymore, summer." 107 00:04:32,904 --> 00:04:34,269 Oh, yeah, ethan? 108 00:04:34,406 --> 00:04:36,238 What do you have in common with tricia lange? 109 00:04:36,366 --> 00:04:38,107 A mutual love of french cinema? 110 00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:39,654 The belief that a carbon tax 111 00:04:39,786 --> 00:04:42,528 Is the only viable solution to climate change? 112 00:04:42,664 --> 00:04:45,907 Or could it be her massive stripper titties? 113 00:04:46,042 --> 00:04:47,157 There it is. 114 00:04:49,337 --> 00:04:50,498 Boob-Ya! 115 00:04:50,630 --> 00:04:52,371 And that's when malakai the squid king 116 00:04:52,507 --> 00:04:57,172 Rips off his face, and beneath it is my face. 117 00:04:58,096 --> 00:05:00,007 - I liked it. - Thank you, sir. 118 00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:01,551 Yeah, of course he likes it. Look at him. 119 00:05:01,683 --> 00:05:03,674 Motherfucker got two heads and three trunks. 120 00:05:03,810 --> 00:05:04,845 All right, we'll put a pin in it. 121 00:05:04,978 --> 00:05:06,639 I'm gonna go take a leak. 122 00:05:14,321 --> 00:05:16,028 What the... 123 00:05:21,620 --> 00:05:24,783 Ah! My hands are dry! My hands are dry! 124 00:05:27,292 --> 00:05:29,579 My name is risotto groupon. 125 00:05:29,711 --> 00:05:32,043 I am the assistant general manager of the restaurant. 126 00:05:32,172 --> 00:05:33,458 Do you have any comment cards? 127 00:05:33,590 --> 00:05:35,331 Because i might have some thoughts. 128 00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:39,506 My kingdom was usurped by force with weapons and technology 129 00:05:39,638 --> 00:05:41,379 Supplied by your father-In-Law! 130 00:05:41,514 --> 00:05:43,551 Hey, he usurped my kingdom, too, man. 131 00:05:43,683 --> 00:05:46,391 He basically got me kicked out of my home, stole my family. 132 00:05:46,519 --> 00:05:48,635 Then we are brothers, and you have wondered 133 00:05:48,772 --> 00:05:50,683 What your life could have been without rick. 134 00:05:50,815 --> 00:05:51,680 Wondered? Sure. 135 00:05:51,816 --> 00:05:54,274 I mean, i've wondered about having a vagina. 136 00:05:54,402 --> 00:05:55,358 Would you help me kill him? 137 00:05:55,487 --> 00:05:56,397 What? No! 138 00:05:56,529 --> 00:05:58,520 He's my wife's father. Move on. 139 00:05:58,657 --> 00:06:00,694 Do you... Like theme-Park rides? 140 00:06:00,825 --> 00:06:02,065 Oh, you really moved on. 141 00:06:02,202 --> 00:06:06,696 There is a popular attraction here called the whirly dirly. 142 00:06:06,831 --> 00:06:09,448 Between the first whirly and the third dirly, 143 00:06:09,584 --> 00:06:12,372 The ride dips just outside the immortality field. 144 00:06:12,504 --> 00:06:14,791 You're asking me to lure rick to his death? 145 00:06:14,923 --> 00:06:17,460 I'm only asking you to go on a ride with rick, 146 00:06:17,592 --> 00:06:20,710 Get off the ride without rick, and go home to your family, 147 00:06:20,845 --> 00:06:23,052 Where you can... Wonder about having a vagina. 148 00:06:23,181 --> 00:06:24,763 Okay, okay, that was a very specific example 149 00:06:24,891 --> 00:06:25,847 Pulled from thin air. 150 00:06:25,976 --> 00:06:27,592 I don't want to be known as the vagina guy. 151 00:06:27,727 --> 00:06:29,889 Risotto, you're needed. Someone ordered 152 00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:32,137 The nuzzy guzzy fresh and fluzy special. 153 00:06:32,273 --> 00:06:35,015 Look, i'm not like rick, 154 00:06:35,151 --> 00:06:37,313 So you're free to do as you please. 155 00:06:37,445 --> 00:06:39,356 But there comes a time in every man's life 156 00:06:39,489 --> 00:06:41,321 When he must choose the foundation 157 00:06:41,449 --> 00:06:43,440 On which his legacy will be built — 158 00:06:43,576 --> 00:06:46,568 One of compromise or one of blood. 159 00:07:00,385 --> 00:07:01,591 Oh, yeah. 160 00:07:03,221 --> 00:07:05,337 That's what i'm talking about. 161 00:07:05,473 --> 00:07:09,216 Oops! Okay, a little more on the other side, then. 162 00:07:09,352 --> 00:07:10,638 Oh, come on! 163 00:07:10,770 --> 00:07:12,010 Oh, geez! 164 00:07:12,147 --> 00:07:13,637 Aah! Stop! 165 00:07:13,773 --> 00:07:17,357 So, the hospital just let you walk right out of there 166 00:07:17,485 --> 00:07:18,771 With horse parts in a bag? 167 00:07:18,903 --> 00:07:20,689 For christ's sakes, morty, women going through a divorce 168 00:07:20,822 --> 00:07:21,812 Need a creative outlet. 169 00:07:21,948 --> 00:07:23,655 - What was that? 170 00:07:25,910 --> 00:07:27,150 Summer! 171 00:07:29,664 --> 00:07:31,075 I'm coming, summer! 172 00:07:33,084 --> 00:07:34,449 What the hell happened? 173 00:07:38,423 --> 00:07:39,504 How do we get her back to normal? 174 00:07:39,632 --> 00:07:41,964 I don't know, man! This thing is pretty complicated. 175 00:07:42,093 --> 00:07:43,504 I-I'm gonna call rick. 176 00:07:43,636 --> 00:07:45,422 Well, hold on. We can't just call your grandpa 177 00:07:45,555 --> 00:07:46,761 Whenever there's a problem. 178 00:07:46,890 --> 00:07:48,380 We can handle this ourselves. 179 00:07:48,516 --> 00:07:50,382 I mean, i don't see the point in trying to. 180 00:07:50,518 --> 00:07:52,225 This is obviously rick-Level shit. 181 00:07:52,353 --> 00:07:53,889 I have a medical degree. 182 00:07:54,022 --> 00:07:55,262 Is that what this is about? 183 00:07:55,398 --> 00:07:56,809 L-Like, you want to prove yourself? 184 00:07:56,941 --> 00:07:59,023 Oh, it's not about anything, morty. How dare you? 185 00:07:59,152 --> 00:08:00,483 Okay, good. Then i'll just call — ow! 186 00:08:00,612 --> 00:08:02,319 Morty, i need this. 187 00:08:03,740 --> 00:08:05,697 Hey, jerry, triple trunks here says he knows a place 188 00:08:05,825 --> 00:08:07,816 Where the ladies drop panties for anyone bi-Pedal. 189 00:08:07,952 --> 00:08:09,158 Yeah, i'm not really interested. 190 00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:10,869 My heart still belongs to beth. 191 00:08:10,997 --> 00:08:12,283 Oh. Huh. Okay. 192 00:08:13,416 --> 00:08:15,248 What, you don't think i have a shot? 193 00:08:15,376 --> 00:08:16,411 I didn't say that. 194 00:08:16,544 --> 00:08:18,535 Excuse me. May i have another one of these? 195 00:08:18,671 --> 00:08:20,253 Coming right up. 196 00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:23,043 Hmm, things weren't always so bad between beth and me. 197 00:08:23,176 --> 00:08:24,758 We had some good times when we were younger. 198 00:08:24,886 --> 00:08:25,796 Oh, yeah, i bet. 199 00:08:25,929 --> 00:08:28,011 That's how teenage pregnancy happens, my friend. 200 00:08:28,139 --> 00:08:29,345 Yeah, no. 201 00:08:29,474 --> 00:08:31,806 Things were pretty great, even until a couple of years ago. 202 00:08:31,935 --> 00:08:33,016 Jerry, i get it. 203 00:08:33,144 --> 00:08:34,760 That's around the time i moved in with you guys. 204 00:08:34,896 --> 00:08:36,102 Oh, i guess you're right. 205 00:08:36,231 --> 00:08:37,847 Jerry, you know, i hope you're not suggesting 206 00:08:37,982 --> 00:08:39,723 That i had anything to do with your marriage breaking up, 207 00:08:39,859 --> 00:08:42,476 Because there are some major issues between you and beth 208 00:08:42,612 --> 00:08:44,228 That have been there since you guys met. 209 00:08:45,865 --> 00:08:48,152 Hey, to new beginnings. 210 00:08:48,952 --> 00:08:50,613 To the whirly dirly. 211 00:08:50,745 --> 00:08:52,156 The whirly dirly? 212 00:08:52,288 --> 00:08:53,574 All right, what's going on here? 213 00:08:54,499 --> 00:08:56,285 When did you get cool? 214 00:08:57,669 --> 00:08:59,000 When you stole my wife! 215 00:08:59,129 --> 00:09:00,244 I should have done that a long time ago! 216 00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:01,745 We're going on the whirly dirly! 217 00:09:01,881 --> 00:09:03,463 Whirly dirly, baby. 218 00:09:04,509 --> 00:09:06,420 - Aha, look at this. 219 00:09:06,553 --> 00:09:08,715 It says "normalize." i bet if we just press that — 220 00:09:08,847 --> 00:09:11,305 But... If the machine was made by spider people, 221 00:09:11,432 --> 00:09:12,968 Normal would mean eight legs. 222 00:09:13,101 --> 00:09:15,058 Oh, god! Are you gonna go on another spiel 223 00:09:15,186 --> 00:09:16,972 Like you did with the flesh-Colored crayon? 224 00:09:17,105 --> 00:09:19,392 I'm pretty sure "normalize" will make her normal. 225 00:09:20,775 --> 00:09:22,982 Aah! 226 00:09:23,111 --> 00:09:24,943 I'd call that progress. 227 00:09:25,071 --> 00:09:26,561 - She's huge! - And normal! 228 00:09:26,698 --> 00:09:28,154 - I'm not normal! - Mom! 229 00:09:28,283 --> 00:09:29,773 Okay, this says "reverse." done and done. 230 00:09:29,909 --> 00:09:31,274 I don't think that's a good idea. 231 00:09:31,411 --> 00:09:33,903 Oh, come on! What else could "reverse" possibly mean? 232 00:09:34,038 --> 00:09:37,121 - Aah! 233 00:09:37,250 --> 00:09:38,866 Mom, call rick! 234 00:09:39,002 --> 00:09:40,413 Thank you. 235 00:09:40,545 --> 00:09:41,831 There's a customer-Service number on here. 236 00:09:41,963 --> 00:09:44,295 - Mom! 237 00:09:47,427 --> 00:09:49,543 Oh, man. This is gonna be awesome! 238 00:09:49,679 --> 00:09:52,262 I got to hand it to you, jerry. This was a solid idea. 239 00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:53,596 Uh, yeah. Uh-Huh. 240 00:09:53,725 --> 00:09:55,432 And you know what? I'll cop to it. 241 00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:57,142 I put a lot of strain on your marriage. 242 00:09:57,270 --> 00:09:59,102 It wasn't fair. I'm sorry. 243 00:09:59,230 --> 00:10:00,720 - What?I - I didn't respect your marriage. 244 00:10:00,857 --> 00:10:02,143 I certainly didn't do it any favors. 245 00:10:02,275 --> 00:10:03,390 And for what it's worth, 246 00:10:03,526 --> 00:10:05,517 I'll apologize to beth for it when we get home. 247 00:10:05,653 --> 00:10:07,940 Whoo! Whirly dirly! Yeah! 248 00:10:08,072 --> 00:10:09,688 Stop the ride! We got to get off. 249 00:10:09,824 --> 00:10:10,985 What are you talking about, buddy? 250 00:10:11,117 --> 00:10:12,699 We got to get out of this thing. We got to get out! 251 00:10:12,827 --> 00:10:14,443 - Jerry, come on, man! 252 00:10:14,579 --> 00:10:16,286 We haven't even gotten to the first whirly. 253 00:10:16,414 --> 00:10:18,496 No, no, this sucks. It's so boring. 254 00:10:18,625 --> 00:10:19,740 I mean, i'm falling asleep here. 255 00:10:19,876 --> 00:10:21,787 Let's just get out and crawl down the sides. 256 00:10:30,637 --> 00:10:32,799 Ah, get down! Duck down! 257 00:10:32,931 --> 00:10:34,137 It's more fun when you scrunch down. 258 00:10:34,265 --> 00:10:36,006 Jerry, what the - 259 00:10:36,142 --> 00:10:37,883 Oh, shit. 260 00:10:54,118 --> 00:10:56,485 Rick, up here! There's a spot where you can kill him! 261 00:10:56,621 --> 00:10:58,908 Good call, jerry! 262 00:11:00,291 --> 00:11:02,908 - Hey, how'd you know about that? - Uh... 263 00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:20,846 Lisa? 264 00:11:26,693 --> 00:11:31,233 So, uh, jerry, big fan of the whirly dirly, are you? 265 00:11:31,364 --> 00:11:33,446 Not anymore. Obviously. 266 00:11:33,574 --> 00:11:36,236 But when you were, how did you know about it? 267 00:11:39,247 --> 00:11:42,831 We had a deal, jerry smith. 268 00:11:44,836 --> 00:11:48,329 It's a really common name. 269 00:11:49,173 --> 00:11:50,334 Now, take it easy, rick. 270 00:11:50,466 --> 00:11:52,958 You've been in a serious roller-Coaster crash. 271 00:11:53,094 --> 00:11:54,630 It's — it's no time to be thinking about 272 00:11:54,762 --> 00:11:57,345 Who did or didn't play a role in your attempted murder. 273 00:11:57,473 --> 00:11:59,805 Get it off me! It's eating me! 274 00:11:59,934 --> 00:12:01,424 Look, i confess, okay? 275 00:12:01,561 --> 00:12:03,347 They told me about all the bad stuff you did to this planet 276 00:12:03,479 --> 00:12:05,061 And reminded me of all the bad stuff you did to me. 277 00:12:05,189 --> 00:12:06,896 But then you said you were sorry, and i realized 278 00:12:07,025 --> 00:12:08,311 You're not a monster — not like this thing. 279 00:12:08,443 --> 00:12:09,649 Fuck! It's got me good. 280 00:12:09,777 --> 00:12:11,017 This is a mislead, right? 281 00:12:11,154 --> 00:12:13,065 You're inventing a thing to save me. 282 00:12:13,197 --> 00:12:14,358 That would be called a knife, jerry. 283 00:12:14,490 --> 00:12:15,446 It's been invented. 284 00:12:15,575 --> 00:12:18,067 I'm making a way out of here. One seat ought to do it. 285 00:12:18,202 --> 00:12:19,408 I'm sorry. I-I made a mistake. 286 00:12:19,537 --> 00:12:21,574 - I won't do it again! - Nobody ever does. 287 00:12:23,791 --> 00:12:25,998 You self-Righteous piece of shit! 288 00:12:26,127 --> 00:12:27,458 You took my family! 289 00:12:27,587 --> 00:12:28,952 I took your family? 290 00:12:29,088 --> 00:12:30,328 Who do you think had more taken from them 291 00:12:30,465 --> 00:12:33,833 When you shot 2000 of liquid dream-Killer into my daughter? 292 00:12:33,968 --> 00:12:36,960 She was rick's daughter, jerry. She had options! 293 00:12:37,096 --> 00:12:37,585 Oof. 294 00:12:37,722 --> 00:12:39,804 That all ended because she felt sorry for you. 295 00:12:39,932 --> 00:12:41,798 You act like prey, but you're a predator! 296 00:12:41,934 --> 00:12:43,470 You use pity to lure in your victims! 297 00:12:43,603 --> 00:12:44,638 That's how you survive! 298 00:12:44,771 --> 00:12:46,512 I survive because i know everything. 299 00:12:46,647 --> 00:12:48,729 That snakes survives because children wander off, 300 00:12:48,858 --> 00:12:50,144 And you survive because people think, 301 00:12:50,276 --> 00:12:52,438 "oh, this poor piece of shit. He never gets a break. 302 00:12:52,570 --> 00:12:54,607 I can't stand the deafening silent wails 303 00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:55,729 Of his wilting soul. 304 00:12:55,865 --> 00:12:57,651 I guess i'll hire him or marry him." 305 00:12:57,784 --> 00:13:00,697 Rick! Rick! 306 00:13:06,876 --> 00:13:08,287 I knew you wouldn't let me die. 307 00:13:08,419 --> 00:13:09,454 That was never an option. 308 00:13:09,587 --> 00:13:11,043 Because you never had a son. 309 00:13:11,172 --> 00:13:12,662 No, because i need a living organism 310 00:13:12,799 --> 00:13:15,791 Coated in gibble snake bile to attract a shmooglite runner. 311 00:13:15,927 --> 00:13:17,884 - Wait, what's happening? - Use that confusion, jerry. 312 00:13:18,012 --> 00:13:20,925 It'll make you wriggle more like an abandoned newborn. 313 00:13:21,057 --> 00:13:23,799 - Jesus christ! 314 00:13:23,935 --> 00:13:25,767 What the fuck, rick? 315 00:13:27,105 --> 00:13:29,267 Help! Help me! 316 00:13:30,858 --> 00:13:32,269 Aaah! 317 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,117 There's a space port 20 miles south. 318 00:13:43,246 --> 00:13:45,203 We'll be able to board a galaxy class cruise ship 319 00:13:45,331 --> 00:13:46,696 And jump through a wormhole that will put us 320 00:13:46,833 --> 00:13:49,120 Within spitting distance of the milky way. 321 00:13:49,252 --> 00:13:50,663 But, hey, it's about the journey, 322 00:13:50,795 --> 00:13:52,536 Not the destination, right, jerry? 323 00:13:56,467 --> 00:13:58,925 Just stay put, sweetie! Mom's still on hold. 324 00:13:59,053 --> 00:14:01,010 Morphizer customer service. How may i help you? 325 00:14:01,139 --> 00:14:03,471 Yes, i'm having a little trouble with one of your machines. 326 00:14:03,599 --> 00:14:04,964 Oh, i'm sorry to hear that, ma'am. 327 00:14:05,101 --> 00:14:07,763 Do you see a little compartment on the side of the machine? 328 00:14:07,895 --> 00:14:10,011 Let me check. Yes, got it. 329 00:14:10,148 --> 00:14:10,933 - Mom? - Great! 330 00:14:11,065 --> 00:14:13,022 Now, do you see the little button next to it? 331 00:14:13,151 --> 00:14:15,062 - I do. - Give that button a push. 332 00:14:15,194 --> 00:14:16,650 - Okay. - Mom, listen to me! 333 00:14:16,779 --> 00:14:19,020 We're free! 334 00:14:19,157 --> 00:14:21,865 Okay, so i pushed the button, and three little men ran out. 335 00:14:21,993 --> 00:14:23,700 What do i do next? 336 00:14:23,828 --> 00:14:24,863 Hello? 337 00:14:24,996 --> 00:14:26,407 I think we got disconnected. 338 00:14:26,539 --> 00:14:28,371 - Morty! - Don't "morty" me! 339 00:14:28,499 --> 00:14:30,365 I tricked rick into taking dad on an adventure 340 00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:31,582 Because i thought i could get a break 341 00:14:31,711 --> 00:14:33,372 From this kind of shit, but no! 342 00:14:33,504 --> 00:14:35,370 Like father, like goddamn daughter! 343 00:14:35,506 --> 00:14:37,668 You want to be like rick, congratulations! 344 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,588 You're just as arrogant and just as irresponsible! 345 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,085 Everything okay here? 346 00:14:42,221 --> 00:14:43,757 Mind your own goddamn business, gene! 347 00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:46,552 I'm having a conversation with my mother here! 348 00:14:46,684 --> 00:14:49,176 Kissing rick's ass isn't gonna help him keep him around, mom, 349 00:14:49,312 --> 00:14:51,394 But it will help you lose everyone else. 350 00:14:51,522 --> 00:14:53,263 Like i lost summer. 351 00:14:53,399 --> 00:14:55,231 Hey, you haven't lost her yet. 352 00:14:55,359 --> 00:14:56,815 No, i definitely did. She's gone. 353 00:14:56,944 --> 00:14:58,560 God damn it! 354 00:15:00,781 --> 00:15:02,112 Go ahead. 355 00:15:04,285 --> 00:15:05,775 - Oh, come on. - What's happening? 356 00:15:05,912 --> 00:15:08,995 Your friend has class c or above cybernetic augmentations. 357 00:15:09,123 --> 00:15:10,579 Emphasis on the above. 358 00:15:10,708 --> 00:15:11,789 In any case, he needs to be neutralized. 359 00:15:11,918 --> 00:15:14,285 - What? Wait! - Ugh! 360 00:15:14,420 --> 00:15:16,582 Brain hurty. 361 00:15:16,714 --> 00:15:17,670 What did you do? 362 00:15:17,798 --> 00:15:19,664 It's a synaptic dampener that blocks violent tendencies 363 00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:21,211 And controversial thought. 364 00:15:21,344 --> 00:15:23,210 He will now be an ideal passenger. 365 00:15:23,346 --> 00:15:25,804 I want cookies and a 90-Minute cut of "avatar." 366 00:15:25,932 --> 00:15:27,218 Seriously? 367 00:15:27,350 --> 00:15:29,091 - Quit it. - It'll wear off in six hours. 368 00:15:29,227 --> 00:15:31,559 It's cheaper than banning dangerous people from flights. 369 00:15:31,687 --> 00:15:33,303 I mean, let everybody buy a ticket, right? 370 00:15:33,439 --> 00:15:35,180 Otherwise, the terrorists win. 371 00:15:39,570 --> 00:15:41,152 Aah! 372 00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,567 I'm sorry i'm not a classic maternal archetype. 373 00:15:43,699 --> 00:15:45,406 Okay, i don't know what to do when you people come to me 374 00:15:45,535 --> 00:15:47,242 With your weird puberty issues. 375 00:15:47,370 --> 00:15:49,236 What are you gonna do when your daughter asks you 376 00:15:49,372 --> 00:15:50,453 If she's attractive? 377 00:15:50,581 --> 00:15:52,618 - I'll say, "yes"! - Morty, gross! 378 00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:55,742 Well, she's gonna be super hot. Her mother's gonna be jessica. 379 00:15:55,878 --> 00:15:57,585 Wait, when did summer ask you that? 380 00:15:57,713 --> 00:16:00,125 Right before she clive barkered herself. Why? 381 00:16:00,258 --> 00:16:01,498 Wait, i know where she is! 382 00:16:01,634 --> 00:16:03,420 Ethan and summer were supposed to go camping, 383 00:16:03,553 --> 00:16:05,715 And then he dumped summer for this girl tricia lange, 384 00:16:05,846 --> 00:16:07,928 Who's got huge boobies, and took her. 385 00:16:08,057 --> 00:16:09,923 Campsite — the one with the name that sounds like somebody 386 00:16:10,059 --> 00:16:11,595 Gave up halfway through naming it. 387 00:16:11,727 --> 00:16:13,684 Uh... Camp flabanabba! 388 00:16:13,813 --> 00:16:15,178 Mama's coming, baby. 389 00:16:15,314 --> 00:16:17,976 Mama's coming, and she cares about your titties! 390 00:16:18,109 --> 00:16:21,067 They have sweet smiggle honey cookies. 391 00:16:21,195 --> 00:16:24,187 Mmm! And low-Calorie petroleum flakes. 392 00:16:24,323 --> 00:16:25,438 Obviously cookies. 393 00:16:25,575 --> 00:16:26,690 Let's get you the flakes, then. 394 00:16:26,826 --> 00:16:28,408 Okay, but it's not what i wanted. 395 00:16:28,536 --> 00:16:29,651 Well, maybe next time, you won't be 396 00:16:29,787 --> 00:16:31,903 Such a dumb piece of shit and you can pick for yourself. 397 00:16:32,039 --> 00:16:33,450 - That's not nice. - What's that? 398 00:16:33,583 --> 00:16:35,199 Did you just have a controversial thought? 399 00:16:35,334 --> 00:16:36,790 - No. - That's what i thought, bitch. 400 00:16:36,919 --> 00:16:38,785 You little punk-Ass. 401 00:16:38,921 --> 00:16:40,707 This is the best. 402 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:42,581 I agree. You've made things even easier 403 00:16:42,717 --> 00:16:44,503 Than if you hadn't been incompetent. 404 00:16:44,635 --> 00:16:46,717 Uh-Oh. We get shoot-Shoot now. 405 00:16:48,806 --> 00:16:50,672 All right, folks, if you could please take your seats, 406 00:16:50,808 --> 00:16:52,048 We're about to enter the wormhole. 407 00:16:52,184 --> 00:16:54,642 So, i hope everybody bought a dinner first. 408 00:16:54,770 --> 00:16:55,931 Nice. - Nice. 409 00:16:56,063 --> 00:16:57,519 - Jerry, step over there 410 00:16:57,648 --> 00:16:58,934 And lock yourself in the escape pod. 411 00:16:59,066 --> 00:17:00,682 - You're not killing us? - I'm killing rick. 412 00:17:00,818 --> 00:17:03,526 You're free to go. You're no threat to me or anyone. 413 00:17:03,654 --> 00:17:04,735 Now you're just being mean. 414 00:17:04,864 --> 00:17:06,195 Yeah, you're mean! No offense. 415 00:17:06,324 --> 00:17:07,814 Mean would be shooting you, jerry. 416 00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:09,031 This is saving a bullet. 417 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:10,821 Go back to your quietly ashamed family 418 00:17:10,953 --> 00:17:12,409 And live out the rest of your days 419 00:17:12,538 --> 00:17:14,074 In denial of your vagina fantasies. 420 00:17:14,206 --> 00:17:16,698 It was a one-Time thought that everyone has! 421 00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:19,792 What are you doing? 422 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:21,752 I'm being triumphantly brave! 423 00:17:21,881 --> 00:17:23,463 It's not triumphant or brave. 424 00:17:23,591 --> 00:17:24,706 You're not risking anything. 425 00:17:24,842 --> 00:17:25,832 You might shoot me. 426 00:17:25,968 --> 00:17:27,083 I think you know i won't. 427 00:17:27,219 --> 00:17:28,584 Because you know i feel sorry for you. 428 00:17:28,721 --> 00:17:30,428 You're just doing this so you can tell yourself 429 00:17:30,556 --> 00:17:31,717 You fought — ow! 430 00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:34,553 Temporal shield compromised. 431 00:17:34,685 --> 00:17:37,268 Congratulations, jerry. You get to die a man. 432 00:17:37,396 --> 00:17:38,636 Uh, that's okay! I'll leave! 433 00:17:38,773 --> 00:17:41,435 Please don't shoot. I-I'm the vagina guy, remember? 434 00:17:45,905 --> 00:17:49,864 Whoa! What is happening to me? 435 00:17:49,992 --> 00:17:52,279 Where is this? Where am i? 436 00:17:52,411 --> 00:17:54,243 Am i dead? A-Am i — am i still alive? 437 00:17:54,372 --> 00:17:57,535 Those aren't the questions you should be asking. 438 00:17:57,667 --> 00:17:59,578 - Huh? - Shh! 439 00:18:21,941 --> 00:18:24,308 Ah, got ya! 440 00:18:24,443 --> 00:18:25,604 Come here, you little pumpkin. 441 00:18:25,736 --> 00:18:28,103 I have shit on my ass. 442 00:18:28,239 --> 00:18:29,980 Whoa, fuck this! 443 00:18:30,116 --> 00:18:33,074 Who am i? 444 00:18:33,202 --> 00:18:36,240 I'm time! I'm literally time! 445 00:18:36,372 --> 00:18:41,458 Whooooa! 446 00:18:41,585 --> 00:18:42,700 Aah! 447 00:18:42,837 --> 00:18:45,795 Oh, god. I feel like our souls were united, 448 00:18:45,923 --> 00:18:47,880 And we were all one with eternity. 449 00:18:48,008 --> 00:18:49,419 Our body's unchanged, 450 00:18:49,552 --> 00:18:52,089 Yet our minds have lived a thousand lifetimes. 451 00:18:52,221 --> 00:18:54,132 Is that enough time for me to forgive you? 452 00:18:54,265 --> 00:18:55,130 I don't know, but it's enough time 453 00:18:55,266 --> 00:18:57,098 For a synaptic dampener to wear off. 454 00:19:00,271 --> 00:19:01,557 Jesus! 455 00:19:01,689 --> 00:19:03,771 He hadn't decided he was still going to kill us! 456 00:19:03,899 --> 00:19:05,890 He was talking himself into it. I've seen it before. 457 00:19:06,026 --> 00:19:08,814 Cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia. 458 00:19:08,946 --> 00:19:10,812 I'm starting to believe you because i just finished merging 459 00:19:10,948 --> 00:19:12,780 With your essence for an endless epoch, 460 00:19:12,908 --> 00:19:14,865 And i'm already back to thinking you're an asshole. 461 00:19:14,994 --> 00:19:16,655 Fine with me. Let's just go our separate ways. 462 00:19:16,787 --> 00:19:18,152 Sounds like you and the word "epoch" 463 00:19:18,289 --> 00:19:19,529 Have a lot of catching up to do. 464 00:19:19,665 --> 00:19:20,905 Wait, don't leave me! 465 00:19:21,041 --> 00:19:22,452 All right, folks, you're free to get up 466 00:19:22,585 --> 00:19:23,450 And walk around the cabin 467 00:19:23,586 --> 00:19:26,203 And maybe take the wormhole out for breakfast. 468 00:19:26,338 --> 00:19:27,328 Okay, you can do the dinner one 469 00:19:27,465 --> 00:19:28,876 Or the breakfast one, but not both. 470 00:19:32,052 --> 00:19:33,292 You think you got that thing figured out? 471 00:19:33,429 --> 00:19:34,510 Yeah, i know what i'm doing. 472 00:19:34,638 --> 00:19:36,220 Good. Because i have an idea. 473 00:19:38,893 --> 00:19:42,306 It's actually a contraction of "some" and "more." 474 00:19:42,438 --> 00:19:43,599 - You see that? - Oh, wow. 475 00:19:43,731 --> 00:19:44,721 I was way off. 476 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,741 Morty, what's happening here? 477 00:20:04,877 --> 00:20:06,584 Summer got into my grandpa's garage, 478 00:20:06,712 --> 00:20:09,044 Messed around, and turned herself into a monster. 479 00:20:09,173 --> 00:20:11,005 My mom did the same to make her feel better. 480 00:20:11,133 --> 00:20:12,294 She's a good mom. 481 00:20:15,346 --> 00:20:17,462 Oh, my god. I have to 90 call my mother! 482 00:20:17,598 --> 00:20:19,088 - Tricia, wait! Ethan! Ethan! 483 00:20:19,225 --> 00:20:21,262 Hey, it's okay. Sit down. 484 00:20:21,393 --> 00:20:23,509 You made my sister cry, ethan. 485 00:20:23,646 --> 00:20:25,057 You messed with her body image. 486 00:20:25,189 --> 00:20:27,180 - Look, morty, i — - Shh, shh, shh. 487 00:20:27,316 --> 00:20:30,149 Careful, ethan. Your s'more is burning. 488 00:20:40,955 --> 00:20:43,037 Uh, i guess we better get on the same page 489 00:20:43,165 --> 00:20:44,530 About our fake adventure. 490 00:20:44,667 --> 00:20:45,953 - Right. - I'll make you a deal. 491 00:20:46,085 --> 00:20:47,621 I'll leave out the part where you tried to murder me... 492 00:20:47,753 --> 00:20:48,618 And i'll leave out the part 493 00:20:48,754 --> 00:20:50,791 Where you admitted to sabotaging our marriage. 494 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:54,086 You want to... 495 00:20:54,218 --> 00:20:55,800 Nah, if the family sees me like this, 496 00:20:55,928 --> 00:20:57,418 They'll feel sorry for me. 497 00:20:57,555 --> 00:20:59,762 Which is no longer my signature move. 498 00:20:59,890 --> 00:21:01,881 Later days, amigo. 499 00:21:04,728 --> 00:21:06,344 Actually, i just realized, i don't have my wallet, 500 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:07,936 And my bus pass is in there. So maybe - 501 00:21:08,065 --> 00:21:09,396 Stay strong, jerry. I believe in you! 502 00:21:49,815 --> 00:21:52,307 I tell you, fellas. This is the life. 503 00:21:52,443 --> 00:21:53,854 It certainly is. 504 00:21:53,986 --> 00:21:55,101 To freedom! 505 00:21:56,572 --> 00:21:58,529 Ooh! Looks like a 4-22. 506 00:21:58,657 --> 00:22:00,193 Ooh, a couple cranks on the scaling knob 507 00:22:00,326 --> 00:22:03,034 With a four dilabyte cross fade would fix that up in a jiff. 508 00:22:03,162 --> 00:22:06,154 Four? You'd be lucky to clear 13% de-Morphized 509 00:22:06,290 --> 00:22:07,371 With that kind of range. 510 00:22:07,499 --> 00:22:10,161 Gentlemen, gentlemen, what did we agree on? 511 00:22:10,294 --> 00:22:11,705 No work talk! 512 00:22:11,837 --> 00:22:14,625 Let's just relax and enjoy our retirement, shall — 513 00:22:14,757 --> 00:22:16,339 - Oh, my god! 514 00:22:16,467 --> 00:22:17,878 Aaah!