1 00:00:01,633 --> 00:00:03,465 Don't let any of those things get away, Morty. 2 00:00:03,594 --> 00:00:05,084 It their DNA gets into Earth's food chain, 3 00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:06,710 our entire species could be sterilized. 4 00:00:06,847 --> 00:00:08,212 Then why aren't we killing them? 5 00:00:08,348 --> 00:00:10,214 Right, next time I need a species sterilized, 6 00:00:10,350 --> 00:00:11,431 who's gonna do it for me, you? 7 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:12,800 - Whoa! Rick! 8 00:00:12,936 --> 00:00:14,552 I-Is that the Vindibeacon? 9 00:00:14,688 --> 00:00:16,599 We're being called to assemble by the Vindicators! 10 00:00:16,732 --> 00:00:18,939 I refuse to answer a literal call to adventure, Morty. 11 00:00:19,067 --> 00:00:20,432 - Let it go to voicemail. - Rick, 12 00:00:20,569 --> 00:00:23,061 the Vindicators only call when the universe itself is at stake. 13 00:00:23,196 --> 00:00:25,107 They're the first line of defense against evil. 14 00:00:25,240 --> 00:00:26,480 They're the guardians of the unguarded! 15 00:00:26,617 --> 00:00:28,483 They're the writers of their own press releases, Morty. 16 00:00:28,619 --> 00:00:30,781 They're a bunch of drama queens that spend an hour talking 17 00:00:30,912 --> 00:00:32,744 and 20 minutes jumping around while shit blows up. 18 00:00:32,873 --> 00:00:34,489 They're a phase. We did one. 19 00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:36,081 It was the big event of that summer. 20 00:00:36,209 --> 00:00:36,949 Let it die. 21 00:00:37,085 --> 00:00:39,076 I, Morty Smith, invoke my right 22 00:00:39,212 --> 00:00:40,998 to choose one in every 10 Rick and Morty adventures. 23 00:00:41,131 --> 00:00:43,418 - God fuckin' damn it! - Read 'em and weep. 24 00:00:43,550 --> 00:00:46,383 Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. 25 00:00:46,511 --> 00:00:49,549 Yes! Vindicator Command Ship — beacon received. 26 00:00:49,681 --> 00:00:52,719 We're doing Vindicators Twoooooo! 27 00:00:52,851 --> 00:00:54,182 - Whoops. 28 00:00:54,311 --> 00:00:56,222 Uh, Morty, you might want to freeze some sperm. 29 00:01:29,137 --> 00:01:31,549 Vindicators, Worldender is back, 30 00:01:31,682 --> 00:01:34,219 and this time he's out to end more than worlds. 31 00:01:34,351 --> 00:01:37,013 We have reason to believe his stronghold is located on... 32 00:01:37,145 --> 00:01:37,976 - My balls. - Rick! 33 00:01:38,105 --> 00:01:39,561 the Terraneous system. 34 00:01:39,690 --> 00:01:43,149 Once in range, Million Ants will scan for pheromone activity, 35 00:01:43,276 --> 00:01:45,313 which should lead us to the location of the base. 36 00:01:45,445 --> 00:01:47,356 Oh, that's Million Ants. 37 00:01:47,489 --> 00:01:48,729 I can't see the ants from over here. 38 00:01:48,865 --> 00:01:52,654 I just assumed that was, uh, turd man, wiggly turd man. 39 00:01:52,786 --> 00:01:53,651 - Rick, stop! Rick, 40 00:01:53,787 --> 00:01:55,448 you have something to add to the briefing? 41 00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:57,571 Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes. 42 00:01:57,708 --> 00:02:00,370 Um, this guy, the, uh — the, uh... 43 00:02:00,502 --> 00:02:02,084 I am Crocubot. 44 00:02:02,212 --> 00:02:03,748 Right, Crocubot. 45 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:07,168 So, you're half cold, unfeeling reptile, half... 46 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:08,506 also cold... 47 00:02:08,635 --> 00:02:10,626 - equally unfeeling machine. - Yes. 48 00:02:10,762 --> 00:02:12,503 Wow. So, your origin is what? 49 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:14,550 Y-You fell into a vat of redundancy? 50 00:02:14,683 --> 00:02:16,515 Got damn! 51 00:02:16,643 --> 00:02:18,099 Noob Noob, we're having a briefing. 52 00:02:18,228 --> 00:02:19,764 If I can continue, Rick. 53 00:02:19,896 --> 00:02:22,263 I anticipate sophisticated security measures. 54 00:02:22,399 --> 00:02:24,140 I trust you can be of service there. 55 00:02:24,276 --> 00:02:26,187 Well, let me check my list of powers and weaknesses. 56 00:02:26,319 --> 00:02:29,152 Ability to do anything but only whenever I want. 57 00:02:29,281 --> 00:02:30,646 Yeah, that sounds like a job for me. 58 00:02:30,782 --> 00:02:33,194 I wish he had the ability to check his attitude. 59 00:02:33,326 --> 00:02:34,566 Alan Rails, ladies and gentlemen. 60 00:02:34,703 --> 00:02:36,660 After his parents' tragic death in a railroad accident, 61 00:02:36,788 --> 00:02:38,654 he gained the power to summon ghost trains. 62 00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:39,825 It's not all bad, though. 63 00:02:39,958 --> 00:02:42,996 They were spared having to see their grown son wear a whistle. 64 00:02:43,128 --> 00:02:44,835 Got damn! 65 00:02:44,963 --> 00:02:46,795 Thanks, Noob Noob. This guy gets it. 66 00:02:49,342 --> 00:02:52,209 Vance Maximus, Renegade Star Soldier. 67 00:02:53,472 --> 00:02:55,213 Sorry I'm late. It was happy hour. 68 00:02:55,348 --> 00:02:57,385 - Happy hour. 69 00:02:57,517 --> 00:02:59,349 Uh, I was also late because of my drinking 70 00:02:59,478 --> 00:03:01,310 and mentioned it to zero applause. 71 00:03:01,438 --> 00:03:03,520 Rick Sanchez. Tinkerer of Terror. 72 00:03:03,648 --> 00:03:04,854 Man, that's hard to say. 73 00:03:04,983 --> 00:03:06,644 And... Morty, right? 74 00:03:06,777 --> 00:03:08,859 - Whoa, yeah! - I never forget a kid. 75 00:03:08,987 --> 00:03:11,354 What do you say, Vindicators? Let's make this three for three. 76 00:03:11,490 --> 00:03:12,275 - Haha! - Yes! 77 00:03:12,407 --> 00:03:13,863 Did he say "three for three"? 78 00:03:13,992 --> 00:03:15,528 Did he say he never forgets a kid? 79 00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:17,571 You mean two for two, right, Vance? 80 00:03:19,331 --> 00:03:23,074 Actually, we assembled a second time last summer 81 00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:25,042 to fight Doomnomitron. 82 00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,912 So this is... Vindicators Three? 83 00:03:28,048 --> 00:03:32,007 And you guys did Vindicators Two... without us? 84 00:03:33,553 --> 00:03:35,760 I sense... insecurity. 85 00:03:35,889 --> 00:03:37,596 Are you sure there's not just a picnic nearby? 86 00:03:39,184 --> 00:03:40,640 I guess he found his crowd. 87 00:03:40,769 --> 00:03:42,680 Pretty toothless stuff, guys. 88 00:03:45,732 --> 00:03:47,769 I hope you're happy with the adventure so far, Morty. 89 00:03:47,901 --> 00:03:49,608 These guys are even lamer than last time. 90 00:03:49,736 --> 00:03:51,898 We weren't here last time, remember? 91 00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:53,771 They did a whole Vindicators without us. 92 00:03:53,907 --> 00:03:55,363 A bunch of them got killed, too. 93 00:03:55,492 --> 00:03:58,905 They lost Lady Katana, Calypso, Diablo Verde — 94 00:03:59,037 --> 00:04:01,995 Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there. 95 00:04:02,123 --> 00:04:04,581 This article says the reason we weren't involved was... 96 00:04:04,709 --> 00:04:06,416 "personality conflicts." 97 00:04:06,545 --> 00:04:08,377 Don't worry, Morty. They love you. 98 00:04:08,505 --> 00:04:11,088 Superheroes need a wide-eyed unremarkable to tag along 99 00:04:11,216 --> 00:04:13,253 and react to everything like it's mind-blowing. 100 00:04:13,385 --> 00:04:16,343 I... think the personality conflict might have been... 101 00:04:16,471 --> 00:04:17,381 you? 102 00:04:18,265 --> 00:04:20,472 Jesus. 103 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,965 How awesome is that? 104 00:04:22,102 --> 00:04:23,558 I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad, 105 00:04:23,687 --> 00:04:25,348 they murdered three innocent heroes of color 106 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:27,096 and they still had to bring me back? 107 00:04:27,232 --> 00:04:29,189 Rick, since it's my adventure and all, 108 00:04:29,317 --> 00:04:30,728 could you do me a favor? 109 00:04:30,861 --> 00:04:33,023 Uh, the adventure is the favor, Morty. 110 00:04:33,154 --> 00:04:35,395 Me sleeping on these linens is the favor. 111 00:04:35,532 --> 00:04:38,115 I mean, w-w-what — what are we vindicating? Comfort? 112 00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:39,654 Rick, this really bums me out. 113 00:04:39,786 --> 00:04:42,323 It-It's embarrassing to find out these guys don't like us. 114 00:04:42,455 --> 00:04:44,571 Why? Morty I defeat gagoos 115 00:04:44,708 --> 00:04:46,290 more powerful than these guys every week. 116 00:04:46,418 --> 00:04:47,829 Yeah, but not heroes. 117 00:04:47,961 --> 00:04:50,077 Oh, please, they just call themselves heroes so they can — 118 00:04:50,213 --> 00:04:54,002 I'm calling them that, Rick! They're my heroes. Mine! 119 00:04:55,927 --> 00:04:58,885 Huh, no accounting for taste. 120 00:04:59,014 --> 00:05:00,550 I'm gonna go get a drink. 121 00:05:08,773 --> 00:05:10,138 PA SYSTEM. Good morning, Vindicators. 122 00:05:10,275 --> 00:05:12,391 Ship has arrived at Terraneous system. 123 00:05:12,527 --> 00:05:15,940 AH Vindicators report to the... briefing room. 124 00:05:16,072 --> 00:05:18,404 The — The room from the, uh — the — 125 00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:20,274 Uh, it's the d— it's a different room than — 126 00:05:20,410 --> 00:05:21,992 than conference room. 127 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,532 I'm sorry, it's my first day as a PA System. 128 00:05:24,664 --> 00:05:27,031 First-da y jitters. 129 00:05:29,377 --> 00:05:30,583 Oh, God. 130 00:05:30,712 --> 00:05:33,420 Good morning. Looks like your grandpa had a long night. 131 00:05:33,548 --> 00:05:36,040 Crocubot, why don't you escort Mr. Sanchez 132 00:05:36,176 --> 00:05:39,089 to a more comfortable spot so that someone can 133 00:05:39,220 --> 00:05:41,678 clean up his diarrhea. 134 00:05:41,806 --> 00:05:44,639 Oooh, I'm nervous about my first mission! 135 00:05:44,768 --> 00:05:47,009 Actually, Noob Noob, you have a new mission. 136 00:05:47,145 --> 00:05:48,556 Got damn. 137 00:05:48,688 --> 00:05:50,929 Vindicators, prepare for arrival. 138 00:05:51,066 --> 00:05:53,603 Morty, the Vindicators and I had a chat this morning, 139 00:05:53,735 --> 00:05:55,851 and I'm afraid we need to make a little change. 140 00:05:55,987 --> 00:05:58,854 I-I totally get it. I-I'm so sorry. 141 00:05:58,990 --> 00:06:01,027 You should be, running around in a yellow T-shirt 142 00:06:01,159 --> 00:06:02,365 like you're not one of us. 143 00:06:02,494 --> 00:06:05,737 - Disgraceful. - I-I-I'm not a superhero. 144 00:06:05,872 --> 00:06:07,033 Cop a squat, chief. 145 00:06:07,165 --> 00:06:08,826 Everyone in the universe is a hero. 146 00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:11,291 All you have to do is know the difference between good and bad 147 00:06:11,419 --> 00:06:12,375 and root for good. 148 00:06:12,504 --> 00:06:14,871 Rick says good and bad are artificial constructs. 149 00:06:15,006 --> 00:06:16,963 Yeah, well, I get the feeling... 150 00:06:17,092 --> 00:06:19,333 he kind of needs that to be the case. 151 00:06:19,469 --> 00:06:20,550 Not coming, Noob Noob? 152 00:06:20,679 --> 00:06:25,640 Ohh! No, uh, I got stuff to do here. 153 00:06:32,232 --> 00:06:34,394 Security drones. inbound. 154 00:06:34,526 --> 00:06:37,268 Star Mother, grant me your wrath. 155 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,607 - All aboard! 156 00:06:54,879 --> 00:06:56,620 - Gun turret. - Are you all right? 157 00:06:56,756 --> 00:06:58,838 Yes. I only lost 400 ants. 158 00:06:58,967 --> 00:07:00,708 My queen is laying more. 159 00:07:00,844 --> 00:07:03,586 I am back to... one Million Ants. 160 00:07:03,722 --> 00:07:05,212 Someone wake up Sanchez. 161 00:07:07,350 --> 00:07:08,886 Ugh! Oh, Christ. 162 00:07:09,019 --> 00:07:10,635 - Rick. You're up. - Barely. 163 00:07:10,770 --> 00:07:12,556 We're taking fire from an automated turret. 164 00:07:12,689 --> 00:07:14,145 - Can you bring it offline? - Uh-huh. 165 00:07:23,366 --> 00:07:25,824 - Uh, my God, that's better. Rick! 166 00:07:25,952 --> 00:07:27,818 Hey, I can't help if I can't see. 167 00:07:47,348 --> 00:07:48,930 I could've just used a ghost train. 168 00:07:49,059 --> 00:07:51,721 Really? You don't say. You would've used a ghost train? 169 00:07:51,853 --> 00:07:53,935 Hey, everybody, the ghost train guy 170 00:07:54,064 --> 00:07:55,771 would have used a ghost train. 171 00:07:55,899 --> 00:07:57,515 - Man, fuck you. - Is there coffee? 172 00:07:57,650 --> 00:07:58,811 Hey, Morty, can you be a pal? 173 00:07:58,943 --> 00:08:00,525 Grandpa left his coffee maker on the ship, 174 00:08:00,653 --> 00:08:01,859 you know, the French press thing - 175 00:08:01,988 --> 00:08:02,978 Get it yourself. 176 00:08:06,409 --> 00:08:08,946 Little extra snippy this morning, aren't you? 177 00:08:09,079 --> 00:08:10,569 Just focus on the mission, all right? 178 00:08:10,705 --> 00:08:12,571 Oh, oh, oh, I'm sorry. Oh, you're right. 179 00:08:12,707 --> 00:08:15,950 Ohh, real serious. Gotta take it real serious, huh? 180 00:08:17,796 --> 00:08:20,254 Son of a Steam Engine. They're all dead. 181 00:08:20,381 --> 00:08:23,169 Why would Worldender do this to his own men... 182 00:08:23,301 --> 00:08:25,542 - and several women? - Well, he is the Worldender. 183 00:08:25,678 --> 00:08:27,794 The guy ends worlds. Kind of his thing. 184 00:08:27,931 --> 00:08:31,049 Ohh, real scared. Real fuckin' on alert, 185 00:08:31,184 --> 00:08:32,299 high alert over here. 186 00:08:33,394 --> 00:08:35,385 Watch out! 187 00:08:35,522 --> 00:08:36,353 What the fuck? 188 00:08:36,481 --> 00:08:38,848 It's Worldender! What happened to him? 189 00:08:40,151 --> 00:08:42,392 I sense his life force is fading. 190 00:08:42,529 --> 00:08:43,735 Million Ants, ladies and gentlemen. 191 00:08:43,863 --> 00:08:46,480 The ant colony with the power of two human eyes. 192 00:08:48,326 --> 00:08:50,363 All right. Short mission. Good mission. 193 00:08:50,495 --> 00:08:52,611 Remember when Alan wanted to use a ghost train? 194 00:08:52,747 --> 00:08:54,454 See you guys in Vindicators Four. Morty? 195 00:08:54,582 --> 00:08:55,743 Rick, whoever did this 196 00:08:55,875 --> 00:08:57,582 is an even bigger threat than Worldender. 197 00:08:57,710 --> 00:08:58,745 We can't leave now. 198 00:08:58,878 --> 00:09:01,210 He's right. This is far from over. 199 00:09:01,339 --> 00:09:02,204 Well, have fun with that, 200 00:09:02,340 --> 00:09:04,581 but Morty and I have to meet a Lady Comet, a Monorail Man, 201 00:09:04,717 --> 00:09:06,754 Two Assholes, and a Full Alligator in like an hour. 202 00:09:20,358 --> 00:09:21,268 Shit. 203 00:09:21,401 --> 00:09:24,610 I sense the presence of a greater evil. 204 00:09:25,655 --> 00:09:27,612 Check, check. One, two. 205 00:09:27,740 --> 00:09:30,653 Okay. Is it recording? Good. 206 00:09:30,785 --> 00:09:32,367 Hello, Vindicators. 207 00:09:32,495 --> 00:09:35,533 Welcome to your reckoning, baby! 208 00:09:35,665 --> 00:09:37,201 Welp, it's official. 209 00:09:37,333 --> 00:09:39,620 I had too much to drink last night. 210 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,251 If you guys are watching this, 211 00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:44,838 you're, you know, the Vindicators. 212 00:09:44,966 --> 00:09:47,879 - So, now that we know... - Rick'? What's going on, buddy? 213 00:09:48,011 --> 00:09:51,174 Obviously, I came here last night during a blackout. 214 00:09:51,306 --> 00:09:52,421 "Obviously"? 215 00:09:52,557 --> 00:09:54,719 You came here and defeated our archnemesis 216 00:09:54,851 --> 00:09:56,762 while so drunk, you don't remember doing it? 217 00:09:56,895 --> 00:09:59,057 That's something "obvious" to you? 218 00:09:59,189 --> 00:10:00,975 Look, I'm a lit— little more complex than you guys, 219 00:10:01,107 --> 00:10:03,144 and, no offense, but I've always suspected 220 00:10:03,276 --> 00:10:04,391 that a lot of what you do in a year 221 00:10:04,527 --> 00:10:05,983 could be knocked out in a couple of hours. 222 00:10:06,112 --> 00:10:08,319 80 I thought why not just do your job for you 223 00:10:08,448 --> 00:10:10,655 so we can have a little fun game. 224 00:10:12,911 --> 00:10:14,743 Rick, is — is this a "Saw" thing? 225 00:10:14,871 --> 00:10:17,238 Are you seriously Sawing the Vindicators? 226 00:10:17,373 --> 00:10:19,205 Morty, I'm a drunk, not a hack. 227 00:10:19,334 --> 00:10:21,746 If you break the rules, lose the game, or try to leave, 228 00:10:21,878 --> 00:10:22,993 you will die. 229 00:10:23,129 --> 00:10:25,291 Like in "Sawwww." 230 00:10:25,423 --> 00:10:26,709 Well, I-I-I think we've seen enough. 231 00:10:26,841 --> 00:10:28,297 I'll just figure out how to unplug this. 232 00:10:28,426 --> 00:10:29,541 Okay, here we go. Room number one. 233 00:10:29,677 --> 00:10:31,259 The Vindicators are known throughout the galaxy, 234 00:10:31,387 --> 00:10:34,470 but do they know yourselves — do you know yourselves? 235 00:10:34,599 --> 00:10:36,886 Match your — your shit, your — your gimmicks, 236 00:10:37,018 --> 00:10:39,476 with your faces, and y-you get it. 237 00:10:39,604 --> 00:10:40,560 It's a matching thing. 238 00:10:40,688 --> 00:10:44,147 And do it in three minutes or you'll all die. 239 00:10:45,485 --> 00:10:47,021 Screw this. I'm not playing his game. 240 00:10:47,153 --> 00:10:48,393 I'm gonna find us a way out of here. 241 00:10:48,529 --> 00:10:49,690 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, Vance. 242 00:10:49,822 --> 00:10:51,278 He said you'd die if you tried to leave. 243 00:10:51,407 --> 00:10:52,522 That means there's booby traps. 244 00:10:52,659 --> 00:10:54,866 Why are you acting like that's not you? 245 00:10:54,994 --> 00:10:56,860 What part of "blackout" don't you understand? 246 00:10:56,996 --> 00:10:57,861 I thought you drank. 247 00:10:57,997 --> 00:11:00,455 Like cool drinking! Like sexy drinking, 248 00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:02,745 not this psycho, trailer-park shit! 249 00:11:02,877 --> 00:11:04,367 Vance, stay calm. 250 00:11:04,504 --> 00:11:06,461 Oh, so you're the leader now, because we gave you a jacket? 251 00:11:06,589 --> 00:11:08,705 You're the learning-disabled kid we do photo ops with. 252 00:11:08,841 --> 00:11:10,707 - Okay, ouch, but — - Okay, this — 253 00:11:10,843 --> 00:11:13,301 this is triggering me. I need space. 254 00:11:13,429 --> 00:11:16,467 I-I need space from this! 255 00:11:40,498 --> 00:11:41,738 - Give me one reason 256 00:11:41,874 --> 00:11:43,160 why I shouldn't crush your windpipe. 257 00:11:43,293 --> 00:11:47,082 Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defense mesh. 258 00:11:47,213 --> 00:11:49,250 And because, like I said, I don't remember last night. 259 00:11:49,382 --> 00:11:51,965 I told you not to invite this mummified motherfucker back. 260 00:11:52,093 --> 00:11:53,299 Alan, I'm not proud of what's happening here, 261 00:11:53,428 --> 00:11:54,384 but if you keep coming at me, 262 00:11:54,512 --> 00:11:57,174 there's gonna be another passenger on that ghost train. 263 00:11:57,307 --> 00:11:59,719 Guys! I figured it out. 264 00:11:59,851 --> 00:12:02,434 Congrats! You did It! 265 00:12:02,562 --> 00:12:05,805 It was a bit. All of the descriptors apply to all of you. 266 00:12:05,940 --> 00:12:06,805 Drunk Rick's point 267 00:12:06,941 --> 00:12:09,148 is that none of you are very special or different. 268 00:12:09,277 --> 00:12:10,813 That's always his point. 269 00:12:10,945 --> 00:12:12,936 Let's just get through this as quickly as possible. 270 00:12:13,072 --> 00:12:14,938 Then we'll deal with the two of you. 271 00:12:15,074 --> 00:12:17,736 The two of us? I hope you're proud of yourself. 272 00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:20,361 Uh, I kind of am. I saved the goddamn universe. 273 00:12:20,496 --> 00:12:21,702 That's not the issue, Rick! 274 00:12:21,831 --> 00:12:23,822 Ahh, it would've been if I hadn't! 275 00:12:23,958 --> 00:12:25,289 The Vindicators say their job 276 00:12:25,418 --> 00:12:27,455 is to fight evil wherever it hides, 277 00:12:27,587 --> 00:12:30,295 but they don't — pick the location you'll — 278 00:12:30,423 --> 00:12:33,131 you'll never hear them even mention, 279 00:12:33,259 --> 00:12:36,251 because to fight darkness is to fight yourself. 280 00:12:36,387 --> 00:12:38,424 Oh! I know this. Dorian 5! 281 00:12:38,556 --> 00:12:39,421 Crocubot, don't! 282 00:12:39,557 --> 00:12:41,047 There's no other possible answer. 283 00:12:41,184 --> 00:12:43,926 My mechanical and reptilian logic are certain of it. 284 00:12:45,188 --> 00:12:46,599 - Oh! 285 00:12:46,731 --> 00:12:48,813 Huh! I'm seeing more croc than bot here. 286 00:12:48,941 --> 00:12:49,851 God damn it! 287 00:12:49,984 --> 00:12:52,646 - Uh. what happened on Dorian 5? - Nothing! 288 00:12:52,779 --> 00:12:55,942 Nothing? We exterminated a planet. 289 00:12:56,074 --> 00:12:57,109 W-Wait. Huh? 290 00:12:57,241 --> 00:13:00,199 Doomnomitron was hiding there! He's a shapeshifter. 291 00:13:00,328 --> 00:13:03,116 Destroying Dorian 5 was the only way to kill him. 292 00:13:03,247 --> 00:13:04,703 Come on, guys, we're all thinking it. 293 00:13:04,832 --> 00:13:05,947 Don't — 294 00:13:06,084 --> 00:13:06,949 Don't make me say it. 295 00:13:07,085 --> 00:13:08,667 Oh, okay. This again. 296 00:13:08,795 --> 00:13:10,627 You know I could have made you a device 297 00:13:10,755 --> 00:13:13,463 to detect Doomnomitron from orbit like that. 298 00:13:13,591 --> 00:13:16,333 I'm not the one that didn't want you back. Alan was. 299 00:13:16,469 --> 00:13:19,882 If you lay those deaths at my doorstep one more time — 300 00:13:20,014 --> 00:13:22,051 Do not threaten her. 301 00:13:22,183 --> 00:13:24,470 - Congrats, you did it. 302 00:13:24,602 --> 00:13:26,513 What the hell is "Israel"? 303 00:13:26,646 --> 00:13:28,387 I-It's just something Rick starts talking about 304 00:13:28,523 --> 00:13:29,638 when he's blackout drunk. 305 00:13:29,774 --> 00:13:31,435 W-What? In w- In w-w-what way? 306 00:13:31,567 --> 00:13:33,023 Like, w-w-what's my point? 307 00:13:33,152 --> 00:13:34,233 In a way that has no point. 308 00:13:34,362 --> 00:13:36,524 You just babble about defense budgets and the United Nations 309 00:13:36,656 --> 00:13:37,521 and then you pass out. 310 00:13:37,657 --> 00:13:40,775 So, to be clear, I sometimes reference 311 00:13:40,910 --> 00:13:43,151 the geopolitical complexities of the topic, 312 00:13:43,287 --> 00:13:45,403 which is not the same as going to an anti-Semitic place. 313 00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:46,621 I have no stake in this. 314 00:13:46,749 --> 00:13:48,911 I don't, either. I'm — I'm just saying, if anything, 315 00:13:49,043 --> 00:13:51,410 the drunk version of me is probably so supportive of Israel 316 00:13:51,546 --> 00:13:52,536 he wants what's best for it and — 317 00:13:52,672 --> 00:13:56,711 Hey, man, I'm not touching this. You do you. 318 00:13:58,719 --> 00:14:02,007 Aloha... means hello and goodbye in Hawaii. 319 00:14:02,140 --> 00:14:05,178 But, uh, aloha means — 320 00:14:05,309 --> 00:14:07,266 has nothing to do with this room. 321 00:14:07,395 --> 00:14:09,762 I'm so fuckin' drunk. 322 00:14:09,897 --> 00:14:11,513 Ugh, okay. Here's the deal. 323 00:14:11,649 --> 00:14:13,435 I-I want to rest my eyes for a little bit. 324 00:14:13,568 --> 00:14:14,433 I'm — I'm not going to sleep. 325 00:14:14,569 --> 00:14:16,276 just — just need to rest my eyes, 326 00:14:16,404 --> 00:14:17,894 so let's make this one simple. 327 00:14:18,030 --> 00:14:20,146 Just... try to hit some three-pointers. 328 00:14:20,283 --> 00:14:22,820 Let's say'..you have to hit... five three-pointers 329 00:14:22,952 --> 00:14:25,364 in... five minutes... or — I don't know — 330 00:14:25,496 --> 00:14:27,112 the whole place — the whole planet will get blown up 331 00:14:27,248 --> 00:14:29,034 - With a n-neutrino bomb. 332 00:14:29,167 --> 00:14:30,953 And try to make it a-a lesson about yourselves, 333 00:14:31,085 --> 00:14:32,701 like - like how selfish you are - 334 00:14:32,837 --> 00:14:33,998 are or something. 335 00:14:34,130 --> 00:14:35,871 And also Hawaii. 336 00:14:36,007 --> 00:14:37,463 You guys hit the baskets. 337 00:14:37,592 --> 00:14:40,050 I'll disarm the drunkenly improvised neutrino bomb. 338 00:14:40,178 --> 00:14:41,634 There's a 40% chance it's a dud, 339 00:14:41,762 --> 00:14:43,799 but y-you should still stay back. 340 00:14:43,931 --> 00:14:46,548 - Morty, how many of these — - Too many, Rick! Too many! 341 00:14:46,684 --> 00:14:49,972 Man, I am really getting high-roaded today. 342 00:14:52,940 --> 00:14:54,271 - That's a three-pointer. 343 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:55,936 - Nice shot. - Thank you. 344 00:14:56,068 --> 00:14:57,900 You two make quite a team. 345 00:14:58,029 --> 00:15:00,145 - We all do. 346 00:15:00,281 --> 00:15:01,191 Yeah, I guess. 347 00:15:01,324 --> 00:15:02,405 - That's a three-pointer. 348 00:15:02,533 --> 00:15:06,492 But you guys have always had a — an unspoken bond. 349 00:15:07,413 --> 00:15:09,620 I mean really unspoken. 350 00:15:09,749 --> 00:15:13,367 Like, let's-not-tell-my-husband unspoken. 351 00:15:14,879 --> 00:15:17,746 We aren't married anymore, Alan. 352 00:15:17,882 --> 00:15:19,714 Sure, but were we married 353 00:15:19,842 --> 00:15:23,631 when you two were "stranded" on Delphi Six for three days? 354 00:15:23,763 --> 00:15:28,132 Because I sensed something was weird when you came back, 355 00:15:28,267 --> 00:15:30,850 but what do I know about sensitivity? 356 00:15:30,978 --> 00:15:32,639 I'm just a phantom train conductor. 357 00:15:32,772 --> 00:15:36,140 You're the pile of ordinary bugs that fucked my wife! 358 00:15:36,901 --> 00:15:38,357 - That's a three-pointer. 359 00:15:38,486 --> 00:15:39,567 Where the fuck is the lead wire? 360 00:15:39,695 --> 00:15:40,856 You always put it in the weirdest place. 361 00:15:40,988 --> 00:15:42,274 Um, uh, over here maybe? 362 00:15:42,406 --> 00:15:44,272 Jesus Christ, what a shitty neutrino bomb. 363 00:15:44,408 --> 00:15:46,149 It's a miracle I ever actually destroy anything. 364 00:15:46,285 --> 00:15:46,990 Oh, I don't know. 365 00:15:47,119 --> 00:15:49,201 You managed to destroy just about everything today. 366 00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:50,411 The villains, the heroes, 367 00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:52,281 the lines between them, my childhood. 368 00:15:52,416 --> 00:15:54,282 Thank you. I appreciate it, Morty. 369 00:15:54,418 --> 00:15:55,658 I know you were sucking the Kool-Aid 370 00:15:55,795 --> 00:15:56,705 out of the Vindicators' dicks, 371 00:15:56,837 --> 00:15:58,327 so the fact that I was right about them 372 00:15:58,464 --> 00:15:59,625 must be pretty hard to admit. 373 00:15:59,757 --> 00:16:01,339 Yeah, it is. You know why, Rick? 374 00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:02,502 Because when you're an asshole, 375 00:16:02,635 --> 00:16:03,875 it doesn't matter how right you are. 376 00:16:04,011 --> 00:16:05,843 Nobody wants to give you the satisfaction. 377 00:16:05,972 --> 00:16:08,088 I know. Everyone wants people they like to be right. 378 00:16:08,224 --> 00:16:10,010 That's why popular people are fucking dumb. 379 00:16:10,142 --> 00:16:11,803 And why your pretentious, poorly written, 380 00:16:11,936 --> 00:16:12,926 high-budget friends back there 381 00:16:13,062 --> 00:16:14,894 can eat a double-decker shit sandwich. 382 00:16:15,022 --> 00:16:16,308 Disarmed. 383 00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:18,647 Holy shit. You're jealous. 384 00:16:18,776 --> 00:16:20,608 Yes! Is that what you want to hear? 385 00:16:20,736 --> 00:16:21,976 Did it feel good? 386 00:16:22,113 --> 00:16:24,696 Did you like his six million wriggling legs 387 00:16:24,824 --> 00:16:26,531 more than my tragedy-stricken, 388 00:16:26,659 --> 00:16:28,991 half-ghost, half-tumescent penis? 389 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:29,825 Guys, stop! 390 00:16:29,954 --> 00:16:31,536 You're just proving my asshole grandpa right! 391 00:16:31,664 --> 00:16:35,123 You wish this was about sex! We loved each other! 392 00:16:35,251 --> 00:16:37,333 - We had a child together! - What? 393 00:16:37,461 --> 00:16:39,498 I conceived a child with Million Ants, 394 00:16:39,630 --> 00:16:41,246 and it died inside me 395 00:16:41,382 --> 00:16:45,876 because it was half a million ants and half collapsing star! 396 00:16:46,012 --> 00:16:49,346 And yes. He was better than you. 397 00:16:49,473 --> 00:16:52,181 - Yeah? - One million times better. 398 00:16:52,310 --> 00:16:55,348 All aboard, motherfucker! 399 00:16:55,479 --> 00:16:57,140 Stop! 400 00:17:00,526 --> 00:17:02,108 Oof! Didn't see that coming. 401 00:17:02,236 --> 00:17:03,601 Is that sarcasm? 402 00:17:03,738 --> 00:17:05,479 I don't want you slipping away when this is over. 403 00:17:05,615 --> 00:17:07,526 All of these deaths are on your hands. 404 00:17:07,658 --> 00:17:08,944 Okay, come on, maybe a couple of them, 405 00:17:09,076 --> 00:17:10,407 but definitely not the Train Guy. 406 00:17:10,536 --> 00:17:11,742 00" - All of them. 407 00:17:11,871 --> 00:17:12,781 Okay. 408 00:17:12,913 --> 00:17:15,405 - Congrats. You did it. 409 00:17:17,501 --> 00:17:18,741 All right, by now, I've been pretty clear 410 00:17:18,878 --> 00:17:21,290 that I think the Vindicators are full of shit. 411 00:17:21,422 --> 00:17:24,164 But... you do have one thing that I'll never have. 412 00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:26,291 And that thing is the only part of the Vindicators 413 00:17:26,427 --> 00:17:27,667 with any value to me. 414 00:17:27,803 --> 00:17:30,215 If you know what it is, place it on the platform. 415 00:17:30,348 --> 00:17:32,885 Guess wrong, and the pie-planet will explode. 416 00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:34,348 And probably the solar system, 417 00:17:34,477 --> 00:17:36,434 'cause I kind of fuckin' eyeballed the neutrino bombs 418 00:17:36,562 --> 00:17:37,723 on this one. 419 00:17:37,855 --> 00:17:41,223 So what's the trick? Morty, you're the Drunk Rick expert. 420 00:17:41,359 --> 00:17:45,273 I think... no matter what we put on there, we die. 421 00:17:45,404 --> 00:17:47,736 He said it's the part of the Vindicators he values. 422 00:17:47,865 --> 00:17:48,775 That means nothing. 423 00:17:48,908 --> 00:17:50,069 He wants our last moment alive 424 00:17:50,201 --> 00:17:52,067 to be spent knowing how few fucks he gave. 425 00:17:52,203 --> 00:17:54,615 Jesus! Okay, open to second opinions. 426 00:17:54,747 --> 00:17:56,203 It could — It could be Morty. 427 00:17:56,332 --> 00:17:57,572 - What? - Hey, I don't know. 428 00:17:57,708 --> 00:17:59,198 I mean, look, when I get drunk, 429 00:17:59,335 --> 00:18:01,417 I get stupid and emotional, and there's no logic to it. 430 00:18:01,545 --> 00:18:03,752 It's, like, it's possible I got so drunk 431 00:18:03,881 --> 00:18:05,792 I felt like I was losing Morty to the Vindicators, 432 00:18:05,925 --> 00:18:08,508 and maybe this is my way of saying, "Okay, 433 00:18:08,636 --> 00:18:10,798 you can have him, but only if you know how important he is. 434 00:18:10,930 --> 00:18:12,136 Otherwise, I'll kill you." 435 00:18:12,264 --> 00:18:14,847 That is a... really specific guess. 436 00:18:14,975 --> 00:18:17,307 Look, I-I — There's nothing in the room but us. 437 00:18:17,436 --> 00:18:19,518 I'm just using logic to connect some dots. 438 00:18:19,647 --> 00:18:20,682 It's the best guess I've got. 439 00:18:20,815 --> 00:18:22,852 But you're betting our lives on it. 440 00:18:22,983 --> 00:18:25,190 I'll cover that bet. I get it. 441 00:18:25,319 --> 00:18:27,185 Well, Morty, I think you're doing that smirky face 442 00:18:27,321 --> 00:18:28,903 because you're misinterpreting the moment. 443 00:18:29,031 --> 00:18:31,272 I am not being coy about some hidden love for you. 444 00:18:31,409 --> 00:18:33,571 I want to be really clear that if anyone has a better guess, 445 00:18:33,703 --> 00:18:36,070 like, if I gave you an amulet last night or — 446 00:18:37,373 --> 00:18:39,080 - Phew. 447 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:41,995 Oh, shit. 448 00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:46,750 Sorry. I'm... not good at goodbyes, 449 00:18:46,882 --> 00:18:49,544 and I'm drunk, so, you know, I just... 450 00:18:49,677 --> 00:18:52,089 It looks like I'm never going to see you again. 451 00:18:52,221 --> 00:18:54,007 I can't really roll with the hero types. 452 00:18:54,140 --> 00:18:56,302 And I don't — They — They don't want me around. 453 00:18:56,434 --> 00:18:59,893 But I want you to know, even if I didn't show it at the time, 454 00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:02,478 I really appreciated you sticking by me. 455 00:19:02,606 --> 00:19:06,144 God damn it, why am I crying? It makes no sense. 456 00:19:06,277 --> 00:19:08,359 Ugh, you're — you're probably confused 457 00:19:08,487 --> 00:19:09,568 because we barely knew each other, 458 00:19:09,697 --> 00:19:11,153 but you really stuck your neck out 459 00:19:11,282 --> 00:19:13,273 when you gave me props for my awesome jokes 460 00:19:13,409 --> 00:19:14,490 in the briefing room. 461 00:19:14,618 --> 00:19:16,484 Everybody else had their head so far up their ass. 462 00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:18,281 Even my own grandson is like, 463 00:19:18,414 --> 00:19:20,655 "Oh, the Vindicators, they're so cool." 464 00:19:20,791 --> 00:19:23,749 I mean, he's a moron. That's their demographic. 465 00:19:23,878 --> 00:19:25,334 But you're different, Noob Noob. 466 00:19:25,463 --> 00:19:27,170 Motherfucker. 467 00:19:27,298 --> 00:19:29,585 You're fucking cool. And you're smart. 468 00:19:29,717 --> 00:19:31,924 And I bet we could've hung out and shit. 469 00:19:32,052 --> 00:19:34,544 And I hope you get to be a full-fledged Vindicator, 470 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,136 and — and do — do me a favor. 471 00:19:36,265 --> 00:19:38,302 Don't — Don't let them know I-! got emotional. 472 00:19:38,434 --> 00:19:40,266 But you can tell them one thing. 473 00:19:40,394 --> 00:19:42,055 Tell them I said — 474 00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:45,806 Oh, fuck. Okay. I just shit myself. Okay, later. 475 00:19:50,613 --> 00:19:53,230 - W- Dude, Morty, what happened? - Shut up. 476 00:19:55,159 --> 00:19:57,196 I sense this means we are not dying. 477 00:19:57,328 --> 00:19:58,568 Not all of us. 478 00:19:58,704 --> 00:19:59,990 - Sweetheart. 479 00:20:00,122 --> 00:20:02,079 Just let Titty Bean do this, Snuzzles. 480 00:20:02,208 --> 00:20:03,073 It's for the greater good. 481 00:20:03,209 --> 00:20:04,074 - Greater good? - Titty Bean? 482 00:20:04,210 --> 00:20:05,666 It's like you said, Morty. 483 00:20:05,795 --> 00:20:07,911 - There's no right or wrong. - Never said that. 484 00:20:08,047 --> 00:20:10,755 It's the galaxy's faith in the Vindicators 485 00:20:10,883 --> 00:20:13,045 that keeps the galaxy secure. 486 00:20:13,177 --> 00:20:14,167 Yeah, I feel safer already. 487 00:20:14,303 --> 00:20:16,419 No doubt. Who do we make the check out to? 488 00:20:16,555 --> 00:20:18,717 I will say we are getting some good licks in 489 00:20:18,849 --> 00:20:20,214 - while choking to death - - Right? 490 00:20:20,351 --> 00:20:21,967 Titty Bean. Listen to me. 491 00:20:22,102 --> 00:20:23,092 When you came to me, 492 00:20:23,229 --> 00:20:25,561 I was merely a sentient colony of ants. 493 00:20:25,689 --> 00:20:28,522 It was your beliefs, your pursuit of justice 494 00:20:28,651 --> 00:20:30,767 that taught me to be a man. 495 00:20:31,904 --> 00:20:33,565 When did it get so complicated? 496 00:20:33,697 --> 00:20:36,280 Who knows? But we can make it simple again. 497 00:20:36,408 --> 00:20:38,069 You were always the romantic. 498 00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:40,239 Which is why you can't leave. either. 499 00:20:44,124 --> 00:20:46,206 I'm sorry, my love. 500 00:20:46,919 --> 00:20:49,001 Damn! She double-crossed Snuzzles! 501 00:20:49,129 --> 00:20:51,871 Silence! I'm going to enjoy this. 502 00:20:52,007 --> 00:20:54,214 Let's give a huge thanks to Rick Sanchez 503 00:20:54,343 --> 00:20:57,005 for killing Worldender, putting this awesome party together, 504 00:20:57,137 --> 00:21:00,380 and for booking one of the hottest talents out there — 505 00:21:00,516 --> 00:21:04,134 - Logic! Aw, yeah. 506 00:21:04,270 --> 00:21:05,431 - Look at that. It's going down. 507 00:21:05,563 --> 00:21:07,019 Geez, I must have planned a whole party. 508 00:21:07,147 --> 00:21:08,478 It's Logic, y'all. - Invited a bunch of people. 509 00:21:08,607 --> 00:21:10,598 Not bad, Drunk Rick, not bad. 510 00:21:10,734 --> 00:21:11,769 Are you ready? 511 00:21:16,365 --> 00:21:18,777 - Rick, Supernova's getting away. - Eh, who cares? 512 00:21:18,909 --> 00:21:20,445 But... she was trying to kill us. 513 00:21:20,578 --> 00:21:22,319 Morty, 20 people try to kill me every week. 514 00:21:22,454 --> 00:21:23,910 I end up getting high with half of them. 515 00:21:24,039 --> 00:21:25,529 I mean, check it out. Gearhead's here. 516 00:21:25,666 --> 00:21:28,328 Hmm. Well, that's gonna shoot through me. 517 00:21:28,460 --> 00:21:30,201 Morty, you're wearing a Vindicator jacket. 518 00:21:30,337 --> 00:21:32,078 Are you a little superhero now? 519 00:21:32,214 --> 00:21:34,125 Everyone in the universe is a hero, Mom. 520 00:21:34,258 --> 00:21:35,840 Which is why we don't need jackets. 521 00:21:35,968 --> 00:21:37,629 And I'm pretty sure we don't need Vindicators. 522 00:21:37,761 --> 00:21:39,001 Don't mind if I do. 523 00:21:39,138 --> 00:21:41,800 Hey, everybody! Look who's a Vindicator! 524 00:21:41,932 --> 00:21:44,390 Man, Grandpa Rick must have gotten shitfaced. 525 00:21:44,518 --> 00:21:45,303 Shut up, Summer. 526 00:21:47,855 --> 00:21:48,469 Noob Noob! 527 00:21:49,982 --> 00:21:50,847 Noob Noob! 528 00:21:54,737 --> 00:21:55,522 Noob Noob! 529 00:21:57,114 --> 00:21:58,980 Yo, it's Logic once again. y'all. 530 00:21:59,116 --> 00:22:00,322 Don't forget the name. 531 00:22:00,451 --> 00:22:01,612 Make sure you get home safe. 532 00:22:01,744 --> 00:22:03,701 And, man, we gotta all give it up for Rick, 533 00:22:03,829 --> 00:22:05,240 'cause, I mean, what kind of motherfucker 534 00:22:05,372 --> 00:22:07,283 just sets up a whole festival like this 535 00:22:07,416 --> 00:22:09,657 when he's completely loaded. man? 536 00:22:09,793 --> 00:22:13,331 And all that stuff I said about Vance, that's not real. 537 00:22:13,464 --> 00:22:16,547 Vance, fuck that guy. That guy sucks dick. 538 00:22:16,675 --> 00:22:18,757 Whoo! 539 00:22:18,886 --> 00:22:20,877 Yeah! 540 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:22,715 Yo. 541 00:22:22,848 --> 00:22:25,931 D-Did I get paid yet? Whoo! 542 00:22:28,145 --> 00:22:30,807 I can't believe we're getting Gear Cream with a Vindicator. 543 00:22:30,940 --> 00:22:34,683 So, you girls in Gear college or Gear — 544 00:22:34,818 --> 00:22:37,105 - Alien terror attack! 545 00:22:37,237 --> 00:22:41,606 Okay. Sounds like a job for... me. 546 00:22:41,742 --> 00:22:44,484 I better go get into my alter ego. 547 00:22:44,620 --> 00:22:46,736 So cool. - I know. 548 00:22:46,872 --> 00:22:48,579 Wait, what alter ego? 549 00:22:48,707 --> 00:22:50,368 He was already wearing the jacket. 550 00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:54,206 Gotta know when to hold 'em and - 551 00:22:54,338 --> 00:22:55,248 Aaaaah!