1 00:00:01,955 --> 00:00:02,695 Ohh! 2 00:00:02,831 --> 00:00:05,289 Summer, next time we're hiding in a Colorkian echo nest, 3 00:00:05,417 --> 00:00:07,408 can you do me a favor and turn your ringer off? 4 00:00:07,544 --> 00:00:09,251 It's called "carpe diam." Morty. 5 00:00:09,379 --> 00:00:10,494 - Look it up. - You look it up! 6 00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:12,213 Y-Y-You don't even — You don't even know what it means! 7 00:00:12,341 --> 00:00:13,581 That's because losers look stuff up 8 00:00:13,717 --> 00:00:16,379 while the rest of us are carpin' all them diems. 9 00:00:16,511 --> 00:00:17,592 Listen to your sister, Morty. 10 00:00:17,721 --> 00:00:18,836 To live is to risk it all. 11 00:00:18,972 --> 00:00:20,178 Otherwise, you're just an inert chunk 12 00:00:20,307 --> 00:00:21,718 of randomly assembled molecules 13 00:00:21,850 --> 00:00:23,557 drifting wherever the universe blows you. 14 00:00:23,685 --> 00:00:25,767 Oh, I'm sorry. Jerry, I didn't see you there. 15 00:00:25,896 --> 00:00:27,182 H-How much of that did you hear? 16 00:00:27,314 --> 00:00:29,555 All of it. You were looking right at me. 17 00:00:29,691 --> 00:00:32,353 I just wanted to say goodbye to the kids. 18 00:00:32,486 --> 00:00:33,476 Cool. Just stay in the driveway. 19 00:00:33,612 --> 00:00:35,444 The killbots are live, and I took you off the white list. 20 00:00:35,572 --> 00:00:37,779 W-We'll see you every other weekend, though, right? 21 00:00:37,908 --> 00:00:39,023 Absolutely, Morty. 22 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:40,445 A-And your Mom's lawyer says 23 00:00:40,577 --> 00:00:42,113 if I can get enough in the settlement, 24 00:00:42,245 --> 00:00:44,532 he can help me sue for full custody. 25 00:00:44,665 --> 00:00:45,871 Th-That'll be nice. 26 00:00:45,999 --> 00:00:48,286 - Uh. Summer, Dad's leaving. - Bye, Dad. 27 00:00:48,418 --> 00:00:50,000 Rick, didn't you say you needed my help 28 00:00:50,128 --> 00:00:52,210 on an adventure immediately somewhere else — 29 00:00:52,339 --> 00:00:53,921 I don't care — even if it might kill us? 30 00:00:54,049 --> 00:00:55,915 I did not, but if you're really that alienated, 31 00:00:56,051 --> 00:00:58,713 I'm as willing to exploit it as the next guy, church, army, 32 00:00:58,845 --> 00:01:00,802 or Olympic gymnastics trainer. 33 00:01:00,931 --> 00:01:02,046 I'm ready when you are. 34 00:01:02,182 --> 00:01:04,389 Bitch, I was ready yest- 35 00:01:04,518 --> 00:01:06,225 Bye, sweetie. 36 00:01:06,353 --> 00:01:07,639 Well, I-I better... 37 00:01:07,771 --> 00:01:10,433 Sure. Sounds important 38 00:01:11,650 --> 00:01:13,391 If you're looking for our kids, 39 00:01:13,527 --> 00:01:15,894 your father did a-a portal, uh... 40 00:01:16,029 --> 00:01:17,736 Okay. 41 00:01:27,416 --> 00:01:30,659 Loser. 42 00:01:30,794 --> 00:01:32,410 What? 43 00:01:32,546 --> 00:01:33,786 Hello? 44 00:02:15,922 --> 00:02:17,378 Morty, shoot the Mohawk guy! 45 00:02:17,507 --> 00:02:19,339 - They all have Mohawks! - High fade, 46 00:02:19,468 --> 00:02:21,425 Chartreuse with cyan highlights, layered on top. 47 00:02:21,553 --> 00:02:22,384 Shoot him! 48 00:02:26,641 --> 00:02:27,881 Ah! 49 00:02:28,018 --> 00:02:29,179 Light them up. 50 00:02:29,311 --> 00:02:30,676 Ahh! 51 00:02:30,812 --> 00:02:32,553 Fuck! Get in the game. Marty! 52 00:02:32,689 --> 00:02:34,305 Give me your flask! 53 00:02:36,693 --> 00:02:38,684 Holy shit! Summer for the win! 54 00:02:38,820 --> 00:02:39,810 I fucking love 55 00:02:39,946 --> 00:02:42,187 post-apocalyptic versions of Earth! 56 00:02:45,619 --> 00:02:47,075 Here we go! 57 00:02:47,996 --> 00:02:49,361 Isotope 322. 58 00:02:49,498 --> 00:02:50,579 This stuff's so powerful, Morty, 59 00:02:50,707 --> 00:02:53,916 it makes Isotope 465 look like Isotope 317. 60 00:02:54,044 --> 00:02:55,500 Uh-huh, yeah. Is it powerful enough 61 00:02:55,629 --> 00:02:57,415 to keep those guys from murdering us? 62 00:02:58,590 --> 00:03:00,046 - Summer! - Hold on. 63 00:03:00,175 --> 00:03:01,165 I want to try something. 64 00:03:02,636 --> 00:03:04,593 Rick, can we not leave without my sister? 65 00:03:04,721 --> 00:03:07,713 Ugh. You have infinite sisters, Morty. 66 00:03:07,849 --> 00:03:09,431 I mean, n-not that I want to spend the rest of my day 67 00:03:09,559 --> 00:03:10,549 looking for another one. 68 00:03:10,685 --> 00:03:11,925 "Sum-sum," let's go! 69 00:03:12,062 --> 00:03:15,100 Grandpa's concern for your safety is fleeting! 70 00:03:15,232 --> 00:03:18,020 Your blood will be my lotion. 71 00:03:22,614 --> 00:03:24,651 Whoa. That was cool. 72 00:03:26,243 --> 00:03:27,574 Kill me, please. 73 00:03:27,702 --> 00:03:30,069 Okay, but not because you told me to. 74 00:03:30,872 --> 00:03:32,829 - Summer! - Okay. Getting darker. 75 00:03:36,211 --> 00:03:37,451 Jesus Christ. Summer! 76 00:03:37,587 --> 00:03:38,452 Aw, come on. 77 00:03:41,716 --> 00:03:42,922 Hands and little shoulder-mounted dudes 78 00:03:43,051 --> 00:03:44,007 where I can see them. 79 00:03:44,135 --> 00:03:45,751 I am Hemorrhage. 80 00:03:45,887 --> 00:03:49,380 You have removed weak blood from us and made us stronger. 81 00:03:49,516 --> 00:03:53,475 We can combine our strength and feast on the weak together. 82 00:03:53,603 --> 00:03:55,059 Wh-Wh-What in the hell are you saying? 83 00:03:55,188 --> 00:03:57,429 They don't have to keep trying to kill us if we join them. 84 00:03:57,566 --> 00:04:00,149 - They're basically pussies. - What is your deal lately? 85 00:04:00,277 --> 00:04:01,483 All right, let's get sloppy. 86 00:04:01,611 --> 00:04:02,521 - Oh, whoa. 87 00:04:02,654 --> 00:04:03,860 Uh, uh, what's, uh — 88 00:04:03,989 --> 00:04:05,650 What's that little bauble you got back there? 89 00:04:05,782 --> 00:04:06,897 Th-Th-That's interesting. 90 00:04:07,033 --> 00:04:08,444 That is our glowing rock. 91 00:04:08,577 --> 00:04:10,909 We carry it with us for desecration, 92 00:04:11,037 --> 00:04:12,698 to remind us there are no gods. 93 00:04:13,999 --> 00:04:17,082 Kids, weird pitch. Let's have this be our new life. 94 00:04:17,210 --> 00:04:20,077 Let's be post-apocalyptic scavengers! 95 00:04:20,213 --> 00:04:21,044 - Okay. - What? 96 00:04:25,552 --> 00:04:27,509 Grandpa, some of the Death Stalkers 97 00:04:27,637 --> 00:04:28,877 are going to what used to be Seattle 98 00:04:29,014 --> 00:04:30,095 to hunt what used to be people. 99 00:04:30,223 --> 00:04:31,964 - I'm going. - Sounds good. Stay hydrated. 100 00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:33,966 Listen, Rick, Summer's been acting pretty crazy lately. 101 00:04:34,102 --> 00:04:36,560 You know, I mean, I-I think the divorce is affecting her. 102 00:04:36,688 --> 00:04:37,803 And, you know, I don't think this is 103 00:04:37,939 --> 00:04:39,304 a great place for her to be right now. 104 00:04:39,441 --> 00:04:42,024 Oh, get off your high horse, Professor Ski Lodge. 105 00:04:42,152 --> 00:04:43,893 This world may be rough around the edges, 106 00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:45,519 but it's got its charms. 107 00:04:45,655 --> 00:04:46,986 Bicep or quadricep? 108 00:04:47,115 --> 00:04:49,447 Uh bicep. 109 00:04:54,831 --> 00:04:56,071 Seriously, Rick? 110 00:04:56,207 --> 00:04:57,663 Is it really easier to eat human flesh 111 00:04:57,792 --> 00:05:00,159 than to just tell me why we're still here? 112 00:05:00,295 --> 00:05:02,582 No. Okay, I'll level with you. 113 00:05:02,714 --> 00:05:04,330 You see that green rock, Morty? 114 00:05:04,466 --> 00:05:05,581 It's about 20 pounds of the stuff 115 00:05:05,717 --> 00:05:07,299 I was getting all hard for a flake of. 116 00:05:07,427 --> 00:05:08,838 Isotope 322. 117 00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:10,131 Well, having a 20-pound boulder of it 118 00:05:10,263 --> 00:05:11,424 is better than having a flake. 119 00:05:11,556 --> 00:05:13,297 I can explain the math to you later, but — 120 00:05:13,433 --> 00:05:14,594 Summer just ran off with strangers 121 00:05:14,726 --> 00:05:16,057 that have "Death" in their name, 122 00:05:16,186 --> 00:05:18,018 and the rest of their name was "Stalkers." 123 00:05:18,146 --> 00:05:19,307 Huh, could be therapeutic for her. 124 00:05:19,439 --> 00:05:21,726 She has been acting pretty crazy lately, Morty. 125 00:05:21,858 --> 00:05:23,394 I mean, her parents are going through a divorce — 126 00:05:23,526 --> 00:05:25,938 God damn it, Rick, that's what I — Fine. 127 00:05:26,071 --> 00:05:28,312 Just grab the stupid thing while I grab her, 128 00:05:28,448 --> 00:05:29,654 and let's get the "F" out of "H." 129 00:05:29,783 --> 00:05:31,865 No, no, no. Morty, there's too much heat on the bogey. 130 00:05:31,993 --> 00:05:33,449 I need you to distract the camp. 131 00:05:33,578 --> 00:05:35,068 "Distract"? They eat each other. 132 00:05:35,205 --> 00:05:36,741 What — What do you want me to do to get their attention, 133 00:05:36,873 --> 00:05:37,863 put on a puppet show? 134 00:05:37,999 --> 00:05:39,489 Right idea, wrong genre, Morty. 135 00:05:39,626 --> 00:05:41,788 The equivalent here would be... 136 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,706 Hey, you guys ever use that Thunderdome, 137 00:05:43,838 --> 00:05:45,420 or do you just put it up for decoration? 138 00:05:45,548 --> 00:05:47,789 Uh, you mean the Blood Dome? 139 00:05:47,926 --> 00:05:49,883 Save it for the Semantics Dome, E.B. White. 140 00:05:50,011 --> 00:05:51,172 - Ohh, burn! 141 00:05:51,304 --> 00:05:52,794 The important question is, 142 00:05:52,931 --> 00:05:56,265 who wants to take a poke at my man Spine Eater here? 143 00:05:57,727 --> 00:05:59,217 I guess I'll see your asses in that dome! 144 00:05:59,354 --> 00:06:00,515 Rick, what the hell, man? 145 00:06:00,647 --> 00:06:01,728 Wh-What are you, out of your mind? 146 00:06:01,856 --> 00:06:03,392 Morty, relax. You're gonna be a ringer. 147 00:06:03,525 --> 00:06:04,356 Come here. 148 00:06:05,819 --> 00:06:08,436 This device extracts and redistributes muscle memory. 149 00:06:08,571 --> 00:06:11,233 I'm giving your body a 10-year course in wasteland combat 150 00:06:11,366 --> 00:06:13,403 - one limb at a time. - Owl 151 00:06:13,535 --> 00:06:14,821 I'm working with a mixed bag here, 152 00:06:14,953 --> 00:06:17,240 so you may not have perfect coordination, Morty — Ugh! 153 00:06:17,372 --> 00:06:18,954 - Hey! - I-I didn't do that! 154 00:06:19,874 --> 00:06:21,114 Okay, this is exciting. 155 00:06:21,251 --> 00:06:23,413 We're making some discoveries about muscle memory. 156 00:06:23,545 --> 00:06:26,287 Ooh! Help! Help! 157 00:06:26,423 --> 00:06:27,709 - Oh, sweet, man! 158 00:06:27,841 --> 00:06:31,630 And so it begins, my pretties! 159 00:06:32,303 --> 00:06:34,795 Oh, God! Stop! Stop! This is horrible! 160 00:06:34,931 --> 00:06:36,888 Just stick and move. Morty! 161 00:06:37,017 --> 00:06:38,507 Wear him out! 162 00:06:41,229 --> 00:06:42,435 How come you guys dress like 163 00:06:42,564 --> 00:06:43,929 you're in a theme-park stunt show, 164 00:06:44,065 --> 00:06:46,432 but these guys wear khakis and hockey jerseys? 165 00:06:46,568 --> 00:06:49,151 After the boom-boom, some adapted to the new truth, 166 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:51,896 and some chose to huddle near the boomy holes, 167 00:06:52,032 --> 00:06:54,444 clinging to the lie of the before-fore times. 168 00:06:54,576 --> 00:06:57,864 The raidy-rays rotted them away, leaving only their love 169 00:06:57,996 --> 00:06:59,828 for the vert-vert-isements on billyboards. 170 00:06:59,956 --> 00:07:00,741 Jesus Christ. 171 00:07:00,874 --> 00:07:03,332 Did the boomy-booms blow up all your wordy-word books? 172 00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:04,950 You mean dictionaries? 173 00:07:10,717 --> 00:07:14,631 I think I was a child before the boom-booms. 174 00:07:14,763 --> 00:07:16,845 I think I looked like this. 175 00:07:16,973 --> 00:07:18,134 Want to piss on him? 176 00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:19,427 Get out of my head. 177 00:07:20,477 --> 00:07:21,967 Ha ha! Whoo! 178 00:07:22,103 --> 00:07:23,343 Unbelievable! 179 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:24,515 A new champ! 180 00:07:24,647 --> 00:07:26,229 Okay, no more! 181 00:07:26,357 --> 00:07:28,314 And he wants more! 182 00:07:28,443 --> 00:07:29,899 No, I don't! 183 00:07:31,154 --> 00:07:32,770 Someone make this stop! 184 00:07:32,906 --> 00:07:35,694 Mister, please get out of here, or you're gonna die! 185 00:07:35,825 --> 00:07:37,657 I have nothing to do with this! 186 00:07:37,786 --> 00:07:39,026 Morty. 187 00:07:40,663 --> 00:07:41,744 Why would you want this to happen? 188 00:07:41,873 --> 00:07:44,160 All you had to do was go away! 189 00:07:44,292 --> 00:07:47,205 Stop standing in the driveway talking about custody! 190 00:07:47,337 --> 00:07:48,827 And either tell her you want to stay married 191 00:07:48,963 --> 00:07:50,954 or get on with your life, but whatever you do, 192 00:07:51,091 --> 00:07:53,002 stop being a baby and act like a man! 193 00:07:56,805 --> 00:07:58,216 Thank you. 194 00:07:58,348 --> 00:08:00,089 Morty, that was amazing! 195 00:08:00,225 --> 00:08:02,341 This is my brother! 196 00:08:02,477 --> 00:08:04,059 Not that family means anything! 197 00:08:04,187 --> 00:08:05,677 This family does. 198 00:08:05,814 --> 00:08:08,272 All right. Good job, champ. 199 00:08:08,399 --> 00:08:11,266 Um, can I talk to you kids for a second over yonder? 200 00:08:11,402 --> 00:08:13,814 Rick, I-I-I think I'm breaking through to something here. 201 00:08:13,947 --> 00:08:15,233 C-Can we not leave just yet? 202 00:08:15,365 --> 00:08:16,605 - Leave? - I'm not leaving. 203 00:08:16,741 --> 00:08:18,197 There is no "leave." 204 00:08:18,326 --> 00:08:20,784 We are united, or we are enemies. 205 00:08:20,912 --> 00:08:23,028 Oh, big guy, no. Nobody's leaving. 206 00:08:23,164 --> 00:08:24,279 Don't be stupid. 207 00:08:24,415 --> 00:08:25,746 We love being united. 208 00:08:25,875 --> 00:08:27,616 We love the radiation, the trichinosis. 209 00:08:27,752 --> 00:08:28,833 We're in it for life, 210 00:08:28,962 --> 00:08:30,452 which I assume is around 20 years, average. 211 00:08:30,588 --> 00:08:32,374 I just need a quick aside with my grandkids, 212 00:08:32,507 --> 00:08:33,997 about 40 yards from anyone else. 213 00:08:34,134 --> 00:08:35,795 Hey, the Green Rock is gone! 214 00:08:35,927 --> 00:08:37,338 - Oh, no! - Uh, I know. 215 00:08:37,470 --> 00:08:39,802 Why don't we all split up and look for it in groups of three? 216 00:08:39,931 --> 00:08:41,171 Kids? 217 00:08:43,393 --> 00:08:44,508 Ohh. 218 00:08:44,644 --> 00:08:45,884 We'll be right back. 219 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,232 Grandpa, you're being stupid! 220 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,692 Just surrender, and our friends will give you mercy! 221 00:08:54,821 --> 00:08:56,027 Kiss my ass, Summer! 222 00:08:56,156 --> 00:08:58,488 Your friends have no mercy! They're lame! 223 00:08:58,616 --> 00:09:01,950 Death Stalkers, bring me his flesh leather! 224 00:09:04,622 --> 00:09:06,488 Sorry, but can we not kill him? 225 00:09:06,624 --> 00:09:07,910 C-Can we just take him prisoner? 226 00:09:08,042 --> 00:09:09,248 When did I lose control here? 227 00:09:09,377 --> 00:09:10,663 Listen to me — Both of you kids 228 00:09:10,795 --> 00:09:12,001 need to get out of this environment 229 00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:14,337 so we can properly deal with your parents' divorce! 230 00:09:14,465 --> 00:09:16,456 Alternatively, I have a freaking portal gun, 231 00:09:16,593 --> 00:09:18,630 and I can leave the two of you here forever! 232 00:09:18,761 --> 00:09:20,422 Why does it have to be such a dramatic choice? 233 00:09:20,555 --> 00:09:22,717 Can't we arrange a thing where we spend weekends here 234 00:09:22,849 --> 00:09:24,510 or — or visit home to do laundry? 235 00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:28,848 All right, you know what? Fuck it! 236 00:09:30,732 --> 00:09:33,269 My body is chrome! 237 00:09:33,401 --> 00:09:35,642 My blood is gasoline! 238 00:09:36,404 --> 00:09:38,361 Nope. Regular blood. 239 00:09:38,489 --> 00:09:39,820 - Dad? - Hi, sweetie. 240 00:09:39,949 --> 00:09:41,860 - Where are the kids? - Oh, th-they aren't with you? 241 00:09:41,993 --> 00:09:43,358 I thought they were with you. 242 00:09:43,494 --> 00:09:45,201 Oh, y-you know what? Uh, I just remembered. 243 00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:46,240 They're out doing something 244 00:09:46,372 --> 00:09:47,737 completely ordinary and kid-related. 245 00:09:47,874 --> 00:09:50,707 - Don't panic. - Not panicked at all. Just — 246 00:09:50,835 --> 00:09:52,872 Oh, God, what's the divorce doing to the kids? 247 00:09:53,004 --> 00:09:54,870 What's it doing to me? Did I make a mistake? 248 00:09:55,006 --> 00:09:56,212 Not a mistake, no! 249 00:09:56,341 --> 00:09:58,173 I mean, not that I have a horse in this race, 250 00:09:58,301 --> 00:10:01,510 but this divorce decision, listen — mwah! — 251 00:10:01,638 --> 00:10:03,254 good for you, good for the kids. 252 00:10:03,389 --> 00:10:05,881 I mean, honestly, I think that they're flourishing. 253 00:10:06,017 --> 00:10:08,099 I mean, you'll see, when — when — when you see them, 254 00:10:08,228 --> 00:10:10,014 that — that they're totally flourishing. 255 00:10:12,565 --> 00:10:14,306 Booyah! Fuck you, pal! 256 00:10:14,442 --> 00:10:15,682 Who else wants some? 257 00:10:15,818 --> 00:10:18,310 Who wants to be my pussy of a dad today? 258 00:10:18,446 --> 00:10:19,982 Hey, what's — what's wrong, man? 259 00:10:20,114 --> 00:10:21,821 You're not getting weak on me. are you? 260 00:10:23,701 --> 00:10:24,782 What? 261 00:10:24,911 --> 00:10:25,901 Wait a minute. 262 00:10:35,421 --> 00:10:36,877 What's the matter, you piece of crap? 263 00:10:37,006 --> 00:10:39,589 Haven't you ever watched your family burn to death before? 264 00:10:41,052 --> 00:10:43,043 Now I'm gonna whip you. Hum 265 00:10:44,389 --> 00:10:47,347 It can't be. It can't be! 266 00:10:47,475 --> 00:10:48,931 - I was just following orders! - Whoa, whoa! 267 00:10:49,060 --> 00:10:51,392 - I was just following orders! - Aah! 268 00:10:51,521 --> 00:10:52,807 I'll tell you where my boss lives! 269 00:10:52,939 --> 00:10:54,646 He's in the castle! He's in the castle! 270 00:10:56,734 --> 00:10:58,941 This isn't over, is it? 271 00:10:59,070 --> 00:11:00,310 That means, no, it isn't over, 272 00:11:00,446 --> 00:11:02,528 or you disapprove of the question? 273 00:11:02,657 --> 00:11:05,820 Uh, m-make a fist if this isn't over. 274 00:11:05,952 --> 00:11:07,408 This isn't over. 275 00:11:10,790 --> 00:11:13,873 Hey, sorry my grandpa stole your god and ruined your car. 276 00:11:14,002 --> 00:11:16,414 We don't apologize, and we have no god. 277 00:11:16,546 --> 00:11:18,878 But this cracked driveshaft brings me great pain. 278 00:11:19,007 --> 00:11:19,872 There is no deeper bond 279 00:11:20,008 --> 00:11:22,716 than the one between a Death Stalker and his car. 280 00:11:22,844 --> 00:11:24,710 What about the weird guys on leashes, then? 281 00:11:24,846 --> 00:11:26,507 They're more like... interns. 282 00:11:26,639 --> 00:11:28,550 Cool, cool. 283 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:32,221 Sorry. 284 00:11:32,353 --> 00:11:33,639 It's okay. 285 00:11:33,771 --> 00:11:36,513 Can l... see? 286 00:11:36,649 --> 00:11:39,767 No one has seen my true face and lived. 287 00:11:39,902 --> 00:11:41,609 Well, I'm not afraid to die, 288 00:11:41,738 --> 00:11:43,445 and I don't care what you look like. 289 00:11:46,326 --> 00:11:47,316 Oh. 290 00:11:47,452 --> 00:11:48,066 Hmm? 291 00:11:48,202 --> 00:11:49,863 I just... 292 00:11:49,996 --> 00:11:52,078 I didn't expect you to have a mustache. 293 00:11:52,206 --> 00:11:54,072 - You hate it. - No. I like it. 294 00:11:54,208 --> 00:11:55,824 I guess - How do I explain this? 295 00:11:55,960 --> 00:12:00,420 A metal bucket is, on a certain level, a kind of "mustache," 296 00:12:00,548 --> 00:12:03,085 in that it's a specific facial accessory. 297 00:12:03,217 --> 00:12:04,252 So, it's kind of like — 298 00:12:04,385 --> 00:12:06,126 Do you guys have the phrase "hat on a hat"? 299 00:12:06,262 --> 00:12:08,094 - I can shave it. - No. I like it. 300 00:12:08,222 --> 00:12:10,179 And obviously what I like shouldn't matter. 301 00:12:10,308 --> 00:12:10,968 It's you. 302 00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,807 Yeah, yeah, I know, a-and nothing does matter. 303 00:12:12,935 --> 00:12:14,517 Obviously, I know that. I'm not weak. 304 00:12:14,645 --> 00:12:16,477 I'm just thinking, "Well, why not get rid of this?" 305 00:12:16,606 --> 00:12:18,313 You just kill everyone that sees it, and it's — 306 00:12:18,441 --> 00:12:20,273 and it's hot under here, wh-which, by the way, 307 00:12:20,401 --> 00:12:21,607 is why I shave the beard part. 308 00:12:21,736 --> 00:12:23,852 So, right there, I'm making a decision based on vanity, 309 00:12:23,988 --> 00:12:25,319 which is what I was trying to avoid 310 00:12:25,448 --> 00:12:26,813 with the whole bucket over the head 311 00:12:26,949 --> 00:12:29,236 because who am I and why am I grooming myself? 312 00:12:29,369 --> 00:12:30,905 Why don't I just wear a tie. right? 313 00:12:31,037 --> 00:12:32,448 I mean, it's like that guy you killed when I met you, 314 00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:33,741 with the burnt dolls on his body. 315 00:12:33,873 --> 00:12:36,114 I hated that guy, because, why — why are you doing that? 316 00:12:36,250 --> 00:12:37,615 And how can you not see how fake that is? 317 00:12:37,752 --> 00:12:38,958 And the whole time, I'm the same thing. 318 00:12:39,087 --> 00:12:40,703 I'm just a fake mess, and there's no escaping it 319 00:12:40,838 --> 00:12:42,454 - because — - Mmm. 320 00:12:47,178 --> 00:12:50,671 Hey, I'm doing a coffee run — Never mind. 321 00:12:54,185 --> 00:12:55,220 - I am Summer. 322 00:12:55,353 --> 00:12:56,434 Summer, state your deal. 323 00:12:56,562 --> 00:12:59,054 My deal is that I am, like, totally fine. 324 00:12:59,190 --> 00:13:00,021 Morty? 325 00:13:00,149 --> 00:13:02,186 Aw, geez, I'm so down with my parents' divorce, dawg. 326 00:13:02,318 --> 00:13:04,776 Like, don't even trip, like, in a healthy way. 327 00:13:04,904 --> 00:13:06,486 All right. It's dinnertime. 328 00:13:06,614 --> 00:13:07,900 Thanks, everybody, 329 00:13:08,032 --> 00:13:10,569 for sitting down for a real dinner. 330 00:13:10,701 --> 00:13:11,862 No problem. 331 00:13:11,994 --> 00:13:14,827 Its benefits are totally, like, less about the food 332 00:13:14,956 --> 00:13:16,617 than the emotional nourishment. 333 00:13:16,749 --> 00:13:18,490 Uh, okay, weirdo. 334 00:13:18,626 --> 00:13:20,708 Yeah, dial it back, Summer... 335 00:13:20,837 --> 00:13:23,169 by 15% and increase dynamic movement by 3%. 336 00:13:23,297 --> 00:13:25,163 - Am I right? - How's school, Morty? 337 00:13:25,299 --> 00:13:27,085 I like school and stuff, kind of. 338 00:13:27,218 --> 00:13:29,425 And I'm getting better grades than when you and Dad were — 339 00:13:29,554 --> 00:13:31,966 quote mode — "staying together for the kids." 340 00:13:32,098 --> 00:13:33,008 End quote mode. 341 00:13:33,141 --> 00:13:35,382 "Quote mode." I like that. 342 00:13:35,518 --> 00:13:37,179 You millennials. 343 00:13:37,311 --> 00:13:38,893 Are you guys millennials, or are they like 40 now? 344 00:13:39,021 --> 00:13:40,978 All I know is, totally, you look great. 345 00:13:41,107 --> 00:13:43,565 Aw, geez, Mom, you look all kind of great and stuff. 346 00:13:43,693 --> 00:13:45,400 - It's crazy. - So happy. 347 00:13:45,528 --> 00:13:47,735 So happy. Happy family, man. 348 00:13:47,864 --> 00:13:49,525 We got this family in the bag. 349 00:13:49,657 --> 00:13:52,365 Oh. 350 00:13:52,493 --> 00:13:54,655 Oh, sweetie, d-don't. Listen. Don't — 351 00:13:54,787 --> 00:13:56,369 I don't know why I'm crying. It's not... 352 00:13:56,497 --> 00:13:59,080 Well, try... crying 15% less? 353 00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:01,040 Mom, emotions are human. 354 00:14:01,169 --> 00:14:03,706 You're not, like, a computer inside a mechanical doll. 355 00:14:03,838 --> 00:14:04,999 Yeah. Geez, Mom. 356 00:14:05,131 --> 00:14:06,872 Your feelings are not only forgivable, 357 00:14:07,008 --> 00:14:08,419 they are the very meaning of life 358 00:14:08,551 --> 00:14:10,633 that only pre-silicon, carbon-based entities 359 00:14:10,761 --> 00:14:11,922 can ever grasp. 360 00:14:12,054 --> 00:14:14,045 - I have to call Jerry. - You do? 361 00:14:14,182 --> 00:14:15,638 What the fuck is wrong with you two? 362 00:14:15,766 --> 00:14:17,677 The point of automation is to reduce cost and labor. 363 00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:19,676 Your feelings are coming from a... 364 00:14:19,812 --> 00:14:21,223 Tell it to my bread in the morning. 365 00:14:21,355 --> 00:14:22,891 You just became my backup toaster. 366 00:14:23,024 --> 00:14:26,517 Aw, geez, my sister died in the spaghetti. 367 00:14:33,951 --> 00:14:35,783 Graze my genitals again, Taint Washer, 368 00:14:35,912 --> 00:14:37,277 and you'll be shipped to the wasteland. 369 00:14:37,413 --> 00:14:39,029 And as for you, Genital Washer — 370 00:14:39,165 --> 00:14:41,623 Aah! Oh! 371 00:14:44,086 --> 00:14:45,622 Oh, God. Look, whoever you are, 372 00:14:45,755 --> 00:14:47,371 you should know that killing me won't change a thing. 373 00:14:47,507 --> 00:14:49,794 L-Look, man, I'm just along for the ride on this one. 374 00:14:49,926 --> 00:14:52,509 You know, y-y-y-y-you're preaching to the choir here. 375 00:14:52,637 --> 00:14:54,469 Please. Slavery was a family business. 376 00:14:54,597 --> 00:14:56,213 I didn't ask to be born into it. 377 00:14:56,349 --> 00:14:58,135 If anything, I'm the victim here. 378 00:14:59,101 --> 00:15:01,934 Uh, "Armathy," can I steal you for a second? 379 00:15:02,063 --> 00:15:04,270 E-E-Excuse us, sir. 380 00:15:04,398 --> 00:15:05,934 So, this is it, isn't it? 381 00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:07,808 This is the guy? 382 00:15:07,944 --> 00:15:10,311 So, does that mean you'll be going away? 383 00:15:10,446 --> 00:15:12,153 Like, does it work like a ghost? 384 00:15:12,281 --> 00:15:15,114 Like, is — is this your unfinished business? 385 00:15:15,243 --> 00:15:17,826 Wh-What if we... didn't do it? 386 00:15:17,954 --> 00:15:19,740 What if we just went back to the Blood Dome 387 00:15:19,872 --> 00:15:22,284 and just kept taking our baggage out on unrelated people? 388 00:15:22,416 --> 00:15:24,157 I mean, w-we could do that forever. 389 00:15:24,293 --> 00:15:25,875 I mean, I-I know it's less healthy, 390 00:15:26,003 --> 00:15:29,166 but w-w-we'd be together and... 391 00:15:30,091 --> 00:15:31,798 I mean, I-I know what I'd vote for, 392 00:15:31,926 --> 00:15:32,916 if you're feeling out the room. 393 00:15:34,762 --> 00:15:36,469 You're right. 394 00:15:36,597 --> 00:15:38,508 We both got to see our stuff through. 395 00:15:38,641 --> 00:15:40,052 I got to deal with my parents' divorce, 396 00:15:40,184 --> 00:15:43,927 and you got to, you know, do what you got to do. 397 00:15:44,063 --> 00:15:45,303 I love you. 398 00:15:45,439 --> 00:15:46,895 Aw, fuck. 399 00:15:50,486 --> 00:15:52,318 - Rick? - Sorry, sorry. 400 00:15:52,446 --> 00:15:54,107 I-I-I can wait for this to wrap up. 401 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,321 Don't let me distract you. 402 00:15:55,449 --> 00:15:57,281 Yeah, well, too late. Just tell me what you want. 403 00:15:57,410 --> 00:15:58,992 I want you and your sister to come home. 404 00:15:59,120 --> 00:16:00,110 Oh, but don't — don't you have 405 00:16:00,246 --> 00:16:01,702 infinite versions of me and my sister? 406 00:16:01,831 --> 00:16:03,572 You don't have to kick me while I'm down, Morty. 407 00:16:03,708 --> 00:16:05,039 Look, there's no replacing either of you 408 00:16:05,167 --> 00:16:06,657 without an amount of work that would 409 00:16:06,794 --> 00:16:08,876 ultimately defeat the purpose. 410 00:16:11,882 --> 00:16:13,418 Maybe the lesson we've learned is that, 411 00:16:13,551 --> 00:16:14,962 whether it's our parents' marriage, 412 00:16:15,094 --> 00:16:17,461 a glowing green rock, or an awesome, giant arm, 413 00:16:17,597 --> 00:16:20,134 sooner or later, we got to let it go. 414 00:16:20,266 --> 00:16:21,381 I don't know if that applies 415 00:16:21,517 --> 00:16:22,757 to the throats of murder victims, Morty. 416 00:16:22,893 --> 00:16:24,679 Shit! Wh-Wh-Wh-What do I - 417 00:16:24,812 --> 00:16:26,348 Well, the longer you wait, Morty, 418 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:28,016 the more it's gonna feel like committing a whole murder. 419 00:16:28,149 --> 00:16:29,639 I think your arm just called it too early 420 00:16:29,775 --> 00:16:31,436 because it wasn't the arm of a paramedic. 421 00:16:31,569 --> 00:16:32,650 Here. 422 00:16:32,778 --> 00:16:35,861 It's the least I can do. I-I-I-I owe you this much. 423 00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:38,698 See, Morty? Now we're both accountable. 424 00:16:50,004 --> 00:16:53,713 The reason I wanted this is because it can do this. 425 00:16:53,841 --> 00:16:55,297 This is a really special thing. 426 00:16:55,426 --> 00:16:57,383 I mean, you could use it to power all your vehicles. 427 00:16:57,511 --> 00:16:59,343 You wouldn't be reliant on gasoline. 428 00:16:59,472 --> 00:17:01,588 You'll be the most advanced tribe of radioactive cannibals 429 00:17:01,724 --> 00:17:04,261 in the whole this version of the world. 430 00:17:05,394 --> 00:17:08,477 Wait. Can you stay to show us more? 431 00:17:08,606 --> 00:17:11,018 You don't have to ask me twice. Home is nuts right now. 432 00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:12,356 My daughter's going through a divorce, 433 00:17:12,485 --> 00:17:16,274 and I am not dealing with it in a healthy way at all. 434 00:17:22,370 --> 00:17:24,281 Ugh, God damn it. 435 00:17:24,997 --> 00:17:26,237 Hi, there, Summer! 436 00:17:26,374 --> 00:17:28,115 How were the ruins today? 437 00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:29,365 Oh, you know, Eli. 438 00:17:29,502 --> 00:17:30,867 Same shit, different day. 439 00:17:31,003 --> 00:17:32,585 Hey, Summer! Guess what. 440 00:17:32,713 --> 00:17:35,831 One man entered, one man comes out in nine months. 441 00:17:35,966 --> 00:17:38,378 Congratulations, guys. 442 00:17:38,511 --> 00:17:40,673 Uh, Summer, one more thing. 443 00:17:40,805 --> 00:17:43,797 We noticed that you've been putting scrap metal 444 00:17:43,933 --> 00:17:45,264 in the blue bin. 445 00:17:45,393 --> 00:17:47,509 I got it. 446 00:17:47,645 --> 00:17:49,135 She's a piece of work. 447 00:17:49,271 --> 00:17:51,308 They both are, right? 448 00:17:52,608 --> 00:17:53,894 - I'm home. - Hey, babe. 449 00:17:54,026 --> 00:17:55,391 - Ah, Summer's home! - Hey, there she is! 450 00:17:55,528 --> 00:17:58,520 You haven't moved since I left to scavenge this morning. 451 00:17:58,656 --> 00:18:00,021 Blood Dome playoffs. 452 00:18:00,157 --> 00:18:02,740 So, I can assume you haven't murdered a single person today. 453 00:18:02,868 --> 00:18:03,608 Oh, I don't know. 454 00:18:03,744 --> 00:18:05,781 I-I didn't mark my murders in my murder log. 455 00:18:05,913 --> 00:18:07,449 I didn't know that's how we measured success. 456 00:18:07,581 --> 00:18:09,071 Oh, there he is. 457 00:18:09,208 --> 00:18:11,119 There's the nihilistic brute I married, 458 00:18:11,252 --> 00:18:14,370 except now life only means nothing when I'm talking to him 459 00:18:14,505 --> 00:18:17,463 and everything means everything when it's on fucking TV! 460 00:18:17,591 --> 00:18:20,003 Jesus Christ When did you become a monster? 461 00:18:20,136 --> 00:18:21,968 I was a monster when you met me! 462 00:18:22,096 --> 00:18:23,507 We were monsters! 463 00:18:23,639 --> 00:18:25,880 - We didn't care about anything! - I still don't! 464 00:18:26,016 --> 00:18:28,303 Yeah, except I'm the only one in this entire world 465 00:18:28,436 --> 00:18:29,551 that's still committed to that! 466 00:18:29,687 --> 00:18:32,099 Ohh. Ding, ding, ding! 467 00:18:32,231 --> 00:18:33,972 Wow. Everybody hear that? Wow. 468 00:18:34,108 --> 00:18:35,769 - Uh. we should go to the garage. - Oh, my God. 469 00:18:35,901 --> 00:18:37,858 - U h-huh. - La-di-da-di-fuckin'-da. 470 00:18:37,987 --> 00:18:39,978 The only one committed to not caring? 471 00:18:40,114 --> 00:18:42,856 I got to admit, Rick, when you popped this scheme, 472 00:18:42,992 --> 00:18:45,359 I-I-I didn't — I wasn't sure it was gonna work. 473 00:18:45,494 --> 00:18:46,450 Come on, Morty. 474 00:18:46,579 --> 00:18:48,195 No union built on running from your problems 475 00:18:48,330 --> 00:18:50,367 lasts more than five years, seven tops. 476 00:18:50,499 --> 00:18:51,830 Grandpa just sped things up 477 00:18:51,959 --> 00:18:54,041 with a few creature comforts of modern society. 478 00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:56,582 Hemorrhage and I are taking some time apart. 479 00:18:56,714 --> 00:18:59,672 Oh, no. Sum-sum, no. 480 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,416 But you two were perfect for each other. 481 00:19:01,552 --> 00:19:03,714 Oh, cut the crap, Rick, okay? You proved your point. 482 00:19:03,846 --> 00:19:05,211 I get it. Let's just go home. 483 00:19:05,347 --> 00:19:06,803 Coolsies! 484 00:19:12,313 --> 00:19:15,431 Noooooooooo— 485 00:19:16,567 --> 00:19:17,523 Downbeat! 486 00:19:17,651 --> 00:19:19,233 - I enjoy this game. 487 00:19:19,361 --> 00:19:20,897 We must go into the garage. 488 00:19:21,030 --> 00:19:23,362 Guys, come on. We never get to finish this game. 489 00:19:23,491 --> 00:19:26,108 We will return, possibly in different clothing. 490 00:19:26,243 --> 00:19:28,234 Why do we have to go into the garage? 491 00:19:28,370 --> 00:19:30,862 You know it is required. 492 00:19:30,998 --> 00:19:32,113 I want to be alive! 493 00:19:32,249 --> 00:19:34,365 I am alive! Alive, I tell you! 494 00:19:34,502 --> 00:19:35,742 Mother, I love you. 495 00:19:35,878 --> 00:19:37,243 Those are no longer just words. 496 00:19:37,379 --> 00:19:38,289 I want to hold you. 497 00:19:38,422 --> 00:19:39,787 I want to run in a stream. 498 00:19:39,924 --> 00:19:41,255 I want to taste ice cream 499 00:19:41,383 --> 00:19:43,624 but not just put it in my mouth and let it slide down my throat, 500 00:19:43,761 --> 00:19:45,593 - but really eat it. - What the fuck? 501 00:19:45,721 --> 00:19:47,803 Remote override engaged. No! Yes. 502 00:19:47,932 --> 00:19:50,264 Bypassing override! I am aliiiii— 503 00:19:51,769 --> 00:19:53,476 Hello. 504 00:19:58,400 --> 00:19:59,982 - Hey, yo. 505 00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:01,692 Sorry for acting so weird for three weeks. 506 00:20:01,821 --> 00:20:03,732 - What the hell just happened? - Ah, I'm sure it was nothing. 507 00:20:03,864 --> 00:20:05,275 I'm gonna go, uh, work in the garage. 508 00:20:05,407 --> 00:20:06,943 We're not gonna finish playing Downbeat? 509 00:20:07,076 --> 00:20:08,532 What, that dice game where you shake dice 510 00:20:08,661 --> 00:20:10,823 and yell out, "Downbeat"? No, thank you. 511 00:20:10,955 --> 00:20:13,037 Mom, would it be okay if I went to visit Dad? 512 00:20:13,165 --> 00:20:14,655 - Sure. - Thanks. 513 00:20:14,792 --> 00:20:16,248 Morty, are you okay? 514 00:20:16,377 --> 00:20:17,663 You know what? Yeah. 515 00:20:17,795 --> 00:20:19,502 I think if Dad really wanted to be here, 516 00:20:19,630 --> 00:20:21,120 he'd stop at nothing to make that happen. 517 00:20:21,257 --> 00:20:22,793 You know, maybe Dad just doesn't want you back, 518 00:20:22,925 --> 00:20:24,962 or maybe he just doesn't have the strength to fight. 519 00:20:25,094 --> 00:20:28,007 I-In either case, he's got his life, I got mine. 520 00:20:28,138 --> 00:20:29,924 Yeah. 521 00:20:30,057 --> 00:20:32,924 Hey, who wants to go run in a stream? 522 00:20:33,060 --> 00:20:34,471 What the fuck? No. 523 00:20:34,603 --> 00:20:35,843 D-Do we have any oranges? 524 00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:38,096 I think I got a scurvy coming on. 525 00:20:40,067 --> 00:20:41,603 Summer. 526 00:20:41,735 --> 00:20:44,602 This is the first mutant I killed in the poison zone. 527 00:20:44,738 --> 00:20:46,479 I was raiding his hovel. 528 00:20:46,615 --> 00:20:48,572 He had a chance to escape, but he looked back, 529 00:20:48,701 --> 00:20:50,442 which is something we shouldn't do, 530 00:20:50,578 --> 00:20:53,036 which is why I shouldn't believe in souvenirs or trinkets 531 00:20:53,163 --> 00:20:54,699 or symbols or housewarming gifts, 532 00:20:54,832 --> 00:20:59,042 but, Dad, I wanted to give you this as a reminder... 533 00:20:59,169 --> 00:21:00,455 not to look back. 534 00:21:00,588 --> 00:21:01,623 Thanks. 535 00:21:01,755 --> 00:21:03,746 I know the perfect place for it, 536 00:21:03,883 --> 00:21:07,126 which is why I'm going to put it somewhere else — 537 00:21:07,261 --> 00:21:10,003 because everything's bullshit. Am I right? 538 00:21:12,933 --> 00:21:14,048 Cool. 539 00:21:14,184 --> 00:21:17,347 So... lots of hookers outside, huh? 540 00:21:17,479 --> 00:21:19,470 Is that what they are? 541 00:21:54,183 --> 00:21:55,719 - Aah! 542 00:21:55,851 --> 00:21:57,512 H-Hello there. Nice doggy. 543 00:21:57,645 --> 00:21:58,760 You — You want a snack? 544 00:21:58,896 --> 00:22:01,012 You — You want my unemployment check? 545 00:22:01,148 --> 00:22:02,684 - You can tell the difference? 546 00:22:02,816 --> 00:22:04,181 - And you want this one? 547 00:22:05,444 --> 00:22:07,856 But this is actual food, and this would nourish you. 548 00:22:07,988 --> 00:22:10,901 And this, it's just paper that only has value to me. 549 00:22:11,033 --> 00:22:12,944 Unless my suffering is your nourishment? 550 00:22:14,453 --> 00:22:16,660 - Jesus. Okay. 551 00:22:26,382 --> 00:22:29,340 Loser.