1 00:00:01,673 --> 00:00:03,755 Anyway, that's how I escaped from space prison! 2 00:00:03,884 --> 00:00:05,124 Oh! Scary place. 3 00:00:05,260 --> 00:00:08,048 Wow, Rick! That's — That's one — one heck of a story. 4 00:00:08,180 --> 00:00:10,137 I sure do wish I could've been there to see it happen. 5 00:00:10,265 --> 00:00:12,176 Oh, come on. Who wants to watch a mad scientist 6 00:00:12,309 --> 00:00:13,344 use handmade sci-fi tools 7 00:00:13,477 --> 00:00:15,138 to take out highly trained alien guards 8 00:00:15,270 --> 00:00:17,477 when we can sit here and be a family at Shoney's? 9 00:00:17,606 --> 00:00:20,098 Dad, it's great to have you back, no matter where we are. 10 00:00:20,233 --> 00:00:21,473 But wouldn't you like to go home? 11 00:00:21,610 --> 00:00:23,726 Emotionally speaking, honey, Shoney's is my home. 12 00:00:23,862 --> 00:00:25,352 Yeah, but you just got out of prison. 13 00:00:25,489 --> 00:00:27,776 I mean, how much of a step up from that is — 14 00:00:27,908 --> 00:00:29,524 Jerry, get out of the booth, take all your clothes off, 15 00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:32,118 - and fold yourself 12 times. - You got it. 16 00:00:37,501 --> 00:00:38,536 Six folds, huh? 17 00:00:38,669 --> 00:00:40,910 W-What, have you guys got me in a Series 9000? 18 00:00:41,046 --> 00:00:42,912 You cheap insect fucks didn't think I was worth 19 00:00:43,048 --> 00:00:43,913 your best equipment? 20 00:00:44,049 --> 00:00:46,711 Man, I told the money bugs. 21 00:00:46,843 --> 00:00:48,754 I said, "You know who this guy is, right? 22 00:00:48,887 --> 00:00:50,924 You want me to get intel out of the smartest mammal 23 00:00:51,056 --> 00:00:53,639 in the galaxy, you'd better give me a decent brainalyzer." 24 00:00:53,767 --> 00:00:55,383 Well, you might as well order some pancakes, 25 00:00:55,519 --> 00:00:57,385 because I don't see the need to leave this part of my brain. 26 00:00:57,521 --> 00:00:58,977 Oh, I think you do. 27 00:00:59,106 --> 00:01:01,143 Eventually, you're either gonna relax your cerebellum... 28 00:01:01,274 --> 00:01:01,979 Shoney's. 29 00:01:02,109 --> 00:01:04,396 or the Series 9000 is going to turn it into mush. 30 00:01:06,697 --> 00:01:08,062 - I admire you, Rick. 31 00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,735 - When I — 32 00:01:10,867 --> 00:01:12,323 - Rick, here's — 33 00:01:15,789 --> 00:01:17,371 - What's going on? - It's hard to tell. 34 00:01:17,499 --> 00:01:19,115 He may have manifested some sort of butt. 35 00:01:19,251 --> 00:01:20,116 He can do that? 36 00:01:20,252 --> 00:01:22,960 He is the smartest man in the universe. 37 00:01:59,833 --> 00:02:02,325 I tell you, the Galactic Federation taking over Earth — 38 00:02:02,461 --> 00:02:04,327 best thing that's ever happened to this family. 39 00:02:04,463 --> 00:02:06,045 I just got my sixth promotion this week, 40 00:02:06,173 --> 00:02:07,504 and I still don't know what I do. 41 00:02:07,632 --> 00:02:09,088 Who cares how high they promote you? 42 00:02:09,217 --> 00:02:10,833 Everyone just gets paid in pills. 43 00:02:10,969 --> 00:02:12,801 Well, when you're not sure what you do for a living, 44 00:02:12,929 --> 00:02:14,260 you can make your own rules. 45 00:02:14,389 --> 00:02:16,346 Summer, show your father some respect. 46 00:02:16,475 --> 00:02:18,762 He's pulling down a six-chewable-figure income. 47 00:02:18,894 --> 00:02:20,885 - I'll get that in a moment. 48 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:22,011 How are everyone's pills? 49 00:02:22,147 --> 00:02:23,933 Oh, Morty, you've hardly touched your pills. 50 00:02:24,065 --> 00:02:25,931 I kind of had big pills for lunch, and I... 51 00:02:26,067 --> 00:02:27,853 wasn't gonna eat any more pills. 52 00:02:28,820 --> 00:02:30,276 Thank you, Conroy. 53 00:02:30,405 --> 00:02:31,861 You spoil us, Conroy. 54 00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:33,572 Grandpa Rick wouldn't put up with this! 55 00:02:33,700 --> 00:02:36,192 Stop saying his name. He abandoned us. 56 00:02:36,328 --> 00:02:37,489 Willem Dafoe! 57 00:02:37,621 --> 00:02:39,953 T-That's the guy I couldn't think of this morning. 58 00:02:40,081 --> 00:02:41,242 Don't make my mistake, Summer. 59 00:02:41,374 --> 00:02:43,115 Don't deify the people that leave you. 60 00:02:43,251 --> 00:02:46,369 You'll end up a horse surgeon in a world controlled by aliens 61 00:02:46,505 --> 00:02:49,714 whose medicine keeps horses... healthy forever. 62 00:02:50,759 --> 00:02:52,170 Horses live longer than tortoises now! 63 00:02:52,302 --> 00:02:53,337 Is that what you want for yourself? 64 00:02:53,470 --> 00:02:56,212 Maybe I just want you to care if I run away yelling! 65 00:02:56,348 --> 00:02:58,180 Who saved room for pill brûrlée? 66 00:02:58,308 --> 00:02:59,639 Ooh! 67 00:02:59,768 --> 00:03:01,975 I can see why you chose this family-friendly restaurant 68 00:03:02,103 --> 00:03:03,468 to represent your cerebellum. 69 00:03:03,605 --> 00:03:06,723 So safe, so comfortable, so Shoney's. 70 00:03:06,858 --> 00:03:09,976 But admit it, Rick — You're going crazy cooped up in here. 71 00:03:10,111 --> 00:03:12,443 - Let's go visit some memories. - Oh, any particular ones? 72 00:03:12,572 --> 00:03:13,733 You want to see my first boner 73 00:03:13,865 --> 00:03:15,230 or should we go straight to the moment 74 00:03:15,367 --> 00:03:17,654 I discovered interdimensional travel? 75 00:03:17,786 --> 00:03:19,902 Ooh. Your little flappy doodles are twitching. 76 00:03:20,038 --> 00:03:21,745 Does that mean you're aroused, or did you just get a signal 77 00:03:21,873 --> 00:03:23,238 that one of your buddies found a grape? 78 00:03:23,375 --> 00:03:24,490 It's arousal. 79 00:03:24,626 --> 00:03:26,583 Yes, I'd like very much to visit the memory 80 00:03:26,711 --> 00:03:27,917 of you inventing your portal gun. 81 00:03:28,046 --> 00:03:30,333 - Yeah. Well, tough titties. 82 00:03:30,465 --> 00:03:33,332 There's no tougher titty than a psychotic break, Rick. 83 00:03:33,468 --> 00:03:37,382 Well, that depends on who breaks first — me or the titty. 84 00:03:39,391 --> 00:03:41,428 Someone special you remember? 85 00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,096 Is that your memory of her out there — 86 00:03:43,228 --> 00:03:44,514 between where you were on 9/11 87 00:03:44,646 --> 00:03:46,011 and your favorite sports blooper? 88 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,813 If we stay here, you'll die, along with all your memories. 89 00:03:51,945 --> 00:03:54,232 If you take me where I want to go, 90 00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:55,650 she'll be there, too, won't she? 91 00:03:55,782 --> 00:03:58,945 The day I invented the portal gun is the day I lost her. 92 00:03:59,077 --> 00:03:59,942 Oh, that sounds cool. 93 00:04:00,078 --> 00:04:02,240 I can get what I want and you can say goodbye. 94 00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:05,080 Fine, but I'm driving. 95 00:04:05,208 --> 00:04:06,915 as an excuse to strip away our freedom. 96 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:11,912 Huh? What are you — What are you doing? 97 00:04:12,048 --> 00:04:14,506 Grandpa Rick must have some secret lab, right? 98 00:04:14,634 --> 00:04:17,376 With, like, laser guns and jets packs and a space tank! 99 00:04:17,512 --> 00:04:18,923 And we can go break him out of prison! 100 00:04:19,055 --> 00:04:20,090 Look at these dead flies! 101 00:04:20,223 --> 00:04:21,634 Maybe if we arrange them in a certain order, 102 00:04:21,766 --> 00:04:23,382 it plays a hologram or it opens a secret door. 103 00:04:23,518 --> 00:04:25,225 Summer, you're freaking me out! 104 00:04:25,353 --> 00:04:27,344 I know things have changed a lot, and I know you miss Rick, 105 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,471 but getting him back wouldn't make things better. 106 00:04:29,608 --> 00:04:31,098 And, you know, we're not doing so bad. 107 00:04:31,234 --> 00:04:32,474 We're miserable, Morty! 108 00:04:32,611 --> 00:04:35,854 There's a mandatory curfew, their weird calendar made me 47, 109 00:04:35,989 --> 00:04:37,775 and they weaponized the Eiffel Tower! 110 00:04:37,908 --> 00:04:40,320 I like being 35. H can rent a car now. 111 00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:41,408 Because you suck! 112 00:04:41,536 --> 00:04:42,992 You've been keeping your lip zipped about it 113 00:04:43,121 --> 00:04:44,907 since Grandpa got arrested, but the fact is, 114 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,781 you're freaking stoked to bail on him. 115 00:04:46,917 --> 00:04:48,157 He bails on everybody! 116 00:04:48,293 --> 00:04:49,783 He bailed on Mom when she was a kid! 117 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,502 He - He bailed on tiny planet! 118 00:04:51,630 --> 00:04:53,291 And in case I never made this clear to you, Summer, 119 00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,458 he bailed on you. 120 00:04:54,591 --> 00:04:56,377 He left you to rot in a world that he ruined 121 00:04:56,509 --> 00:04:57,419 because he doesn't care! 122 00:04:57,552 --> 00:05:00,044 Because nobody's special to him, Summer, not even himself. 123 00:05:00,180 --> 00:05:02,888 So if you really want your grandpa back, grab a shovel. 124 00:05:03,016 --> 00:05:05,724 The one that won't let you down is buried in your backyard! 125 00:05:05,852 --> 00:05:06,808 You're right! 126 00:05:06,937 --> 00:05:08,302 What? No! I'm not right! 127 00:05:08,438 --> 00:05:10,520 H was using ghoulish overkill! 128 00:05:10,649 --> 00:05:12,014 Ghoulish overkill, Summer! 129 00:05:14,945 --> 00:05:17,653 Oh, God! Oh, God! 130 00:05:17,781 --> 00:05:18,691 Whoa, whoa! 131 00:05:21,785 --> 00:05:23,742 - Where are we going? - To the day it all began — 132 00:05:23,870 --> 00:05:24,735 and ended. 133 00:05:24,871 --> 00:05:26,703 The moment that changed everything. 134 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,366 Welcome to McDonald's. Can I take your order? 135 00:05:30,502 --> 00:05:31,992 Yeah, I'd like to get a 10-piece McNugget 136 00:05:32,128 --> 00:05:33,994 and, uh, a bunch of the Szechuan sauce. 137 00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:35,666 Like. As much as you're allowed to give me. 138 00:05:35,799 --> 00:05:38,666 In 1998, they had this promotion for the Disney film "Mulan," 139 00:05:38,802 --> 00:05:39,883 where they - where they - 140 00:05:40,011 --> 00:05:41,718 they created a new sauce for the McNuggets 141 00:05:41,846 --> 00:05:44,213 called Szechuan sauce, and it's delicious! 142 00:05:44,349 --> 00:05:46,135 And then they got rid of it, and now it's gone. 143 00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:48,224 The only place we're gonna be able to try it is in my memory. 144 00:05:48,353 --> 00:05:50,185 Rick, you're doing this bit while your brain is melting. 145 00:05:50,313 --> 00:05:51,678 Okay. All right, all right. 146 00:05:57,028 --> 00:05:58,484 I used to wear blue pants. 147 00:06:03,576 --> 00:06:05,943 When'd you make the leap to interdimensional travel? 148 00:06:06,079 --> 00:06:08,161 I didn't. I did. 149 00:06:08,289 --> 00:06:11,281 Well, well, well. If it isn't us. 150 00:06:11,418 --> 00:06:13,455 You know the worst part about inventing teleportation? 151 00:06:13,586 --> 00:06:15,122 Suddenly you're able to travel the whole galaxy, 152 00:06:15,255 --> 00:06:16,370 and the first thing you learn is 153 00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:18,372 you're the last guy to invent teleportation. 154 00:06:18,508 --> 00:06:20,465 Fortunately, you're about to invent something 155 00:06:20,593 --> 00:06:21,708 much more powerful. 156 00:06:23,096 --> 00:06:24,427 What? 157 00:06:31,062 --> 00:06:33,144 Summer, nobody has to know about that. 158 00:06:33,273 --> 00:06:35,310 We could put it right back and pretend we never saw it, 159 00:06:35,442 --> 00:06:36,728 like we did with Dad's mannequin leg. 160 00:06:36,860 --> 00:06:39,272 Fine. Stay here. I'll rescue Grandpa myself. 161 00:06:39,404 --> 00:06:41,020 - How are you gonna do that? - I don't know yet. 162 00:06:41,156 --> 00:06:43,614 I'll make it up as I go. That's what Grandpa Rick does. 163 00:06:43,742 --> 00:06:45,073 That's what heroes do. 164 00:06:45,201 --> 00:06:46,532 You want to see what a hero Rick is? 165 00:06:46,661 --> 00:06:48,743 I-I'll bring you somewhere, Summer! 166 00:06:48,872 --> 00:06:51,239 - Um... - My goodness, children. 167 00:06:52,375 --> 00:06:53,911 Relinquish the illegal technology 168 00:06:54,044 --> 00:06:55,876 to the nearest Federation representative. 169 00:06:56,004 --> 00:06:59,122 And then we'll all play Balderdash. 170 00:07:13,730 --> 00:07:15,596 Oh, my goodness! 171 00:07:15,732 --> 00:07:17,518 Oh! Oh! My goo— 172 00:07:20,445 --> 00:07:22,356 Oh, my God. 173 00:07:22,489 --> 00:07:24,730 I have that exact same top. 174 00:07:24,866 --> 00:07:26,231 What is this place? 175 00:07:26,367 --> 00:07:28,074 And what's with "Hunger Games" Summer? 176 00:07:28,203 --> 00:07:31,992 That's my sister. This used to be my home. 177 00:07:32,123 --> 00:07:33,705 Imagine doing anything you want, 178 00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,870 then hopping to a timeline where you never did it. 179 00:07:36,002 --> 00:07:38,790 Imagine going anywhere, anytime, with nobody able to stop you. 180 00:07:38,922 --> 00:07:40,754 - Sounds lonely. - Lonely? 181 00:07:40,882 --> 00:07:43,465 Dude, you have yourself — your infinite selves. 182 00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:44,503 It's a nonstop party 183 00:07:44,636 --> 00:07:46,627 where all the guests are the only person we like. 184 00:07:46,763 --> 00:07:48,345 You think it's cool being the smartest man on Earth, 185 00:07:48,473 --> 00:07:49,804 but once we give you this technology, 186 00:07:49,933 --> 00:07:52,925 you become the smartest thing in every conceivable universe — 187 00:07:53,061 --> 00:07:55,348 the Infinite Rick, a god. 188 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,436 Enh, pass. 189 00:07:56,564 --> 00:07:59,431 Excuse me? Bro, Ricks don't pass on this. 190 00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:00,773 Who do you think you are? 191 00:08:00,902 --> 00:08:02,939 A different kind of Rick, I guess. 192 00:08:03,071 --> 00:08:04,778 Well, we'll see how long that lasts. 193 00:08:07,408 --> 00:08:10,867 I heard sci-fi noises. Did you make a breakthrough? 194 00:08:10,995 --> 00:08:12,110 Sort of. 195 00:08:12,247 --> 00:08:13,703 I just took a long look at myself, 196 00:08:13,832 --> 00:08:16,699 and I don't think this science thing is gonna pay off. 197 00:08:16,835 --> 00:08:19,998 Well, why don't I get Beth and we'll go out for ice cream? 198 00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:22,167 That, Diane, is the last great idea 199 00:08:22,298 --> 00:08:24,505 that will ever be had in this garage. 200 00:08:27,554 --> 00:08:30,262 Good roasted Cronenberg, I assume. 201 00:08:30,849 --> 00:08:33,716 Mom, you're looking... feral. 202 00:08:34,727 --> 00:08:36,343 I can't believe Rick did this. 203 00:08:36,479 --> 00:08:37,844 These are the parts of Rick's adventures 204 00:08:37,981 --> 00:08:40,393 you don't get to see — the parts he leaves behind. 205 00:08:40,525 --> 00:08:41,981 All right. It's been great, guys. 206 00:08:42,110 --> 00:08:43,851 Um, I really only wanted to stop by here 207 00:08:43,987 --> 00:08:45,398 for a quick "I told you so." 208 00:08:45,530 --> 00:08:47,612 60, uh... - Looking for this? 209 00:08:47,740 --> 00:08:50,107 - What are you doing with that? - It stinks of Rick. 210 00:08:50,243 --> 00:08:52,200 - No! Why? 211 00:08:52,328 --> 00:08:53,193 Why would you do that? 212 00:08:53,329 --> 00:08:55,195 W-What is the matter with you people? 213 00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:57,368 You're a bunch of back savages — 214 00:08:57,500 --> 00:08:59,366 backwood savage morons! 215 00:08:59,502 --> 00:09:02,790 You can never leave. She cannot remain. 216 00:09:02,922 --> 00:09:04,754 She stinks of Rick. 217 00:09:04,883 --> 00:09:06,419 - Aah! - Aah! 218 00:09:07,927 --> 00:09:10,464 Hold your fire! Hold your fire! I'm Morty C-137. 219 00:09:12,015 --> 00:09:13,631 We detected a compromised portal gun. 220 00:09:13,766 --> 00:09:15,177 - Where is your Rick? - He's in prison. 221 00:09:15,310 --> 00:09:15,924 Summer. 222 00:09:16,060 --> 00:09:17,471 He got captured by the Federation, 223 00:09:17,604 --> 00:09:18,890 and we were going to rescue him. 224 00:09:19,022 --> 00:09:19,932 Very troubling. 225 00:09:20,064 --> 00:09:21,304 We can't risk Citadel secrets 226 00:09:21,441 --> 00:09:22,852 falling into the Federation's hands. 227 00:09:22,984 --> 00:09:24,691 We'll dispatch S.E.A.L. Team Ricks immediately 228 00:09:24,819 --> 00:09:26,776 to break into the prison holding C-137... 229 00:09:26,905 --> 00:09:27,736 Boo-yam. 230 00:09:27,864 --> 00:09:29,229 and assassinate him. 231 00:09:29,365 --> 00:09:31,402 Boo-nah? 232 00:09:31,534 --> 00:09:32,695 - Come on, girls! 233 00:09:32,827 --> 00:09:34,909 The ice cream's gonna melt! 234 00:09:45,548 --> 00:09:49,132 No-o-o-o-o-o-o! 235 00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:52,048 Wow. This sauce is fucking amazing. 236 00:09:52,180 --> 00:09:53,511 You said it was promoting a movie? 237 00:09:57,769 --> 00:10:00,261 Carry the 3, add a 2. 238 00:10:00,396 --> 00:10:01,431 I got it. 239 00:10:01,564 --> 00:10:03,100 I fucking got it! 240 00:10:03,233 --> 00:10:05,600 Whoa. I-Is that it - the portal gun? 241 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:06,440 Yeah. 242 00:10:06,569 --> 00:10:09,061 That's the three lines of math that separates my life as a man 243 00:10:09,197 --> 00:10:11,063 from my life as an unfeeling ghost. 244 00:10:11,199 --> 00:10:12,280 Awesome possum. 245 00:10:13,910 --> 00:10:15,196 Mission Control, you getting this? 246 00:10:15,328 --> 00:10:16,568 Holy shit, yes! 247 00:10:16,704 --> 00:10:18,035 W Yes! e got it! 248 00:10:18,164 --> 00:10:19,029 - Yeah! All right! - Thanks, Rick. 249 00:10:19,165 --> 00:10:20,951 I'll try to remember to shut off the brainalyzer. 250 00:10:21,084 --> 00:10:23,325 Actually, I think it shuts off automatically 251 00:10:23,461 --> 00:10:24,542 once your brain is liquid. 252 00:10:24,671 --> 00:10:25,877 Don't know, don't care. 253 00:10:26,005 --> 00:10:27,916 Pull me out. 254 00:10:28,049 --> 00:10:29,631 Hey, pull me out. Can you hear me? 255 00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,215 Nope, they cannot. 256 00:10:31,344 --> 00:10:32,926 - Why not? - Because the code you uploaded 257 00:10:33,054 --> 00:10:34,670 wasn't actually my portal-gun formula. 258 00:10:34,806 --> 00:10:37,389 It was a virus giving me full control over the brainalyzer. 259 00:10:37,517 --> 00:10:39,007 What are you talking about? This is a memory. 260 00:10:39,143 --> 00:10:40,975 Y-You can't alter details of a memory. 261 00:10:41,104 --> 00:10:43,186 True, but you can alter anything you want 262 00:10:43,314 --> 00:10:45,897 about a totally fabricated origin story. 263 00:10:46,192 --> 00:10:48,399 It's a trap! Abort! I'm still in his Shoney's! 264 00:10:48,528 --> 00:10:50,394 Repeat — We never left his Shoney's! 265 00:10:50,530 --> 00:10:52,487 Mission accomplished, boys. Pull me out. 266 00:10:52,615 --> 00:10:53,650 Roger that. 267 00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:55,114 Have fun in what's left of my brain. 268 00:10:55,243 --> 00:10:56,233 I'm gonna transfer to yours. 269 00:10:56,369 --> 00:10:58,531 Oh, there's not enough room for all my genius, 270 00:10:58,663 --> 00:11:00,574 so I'm leaving you with my fear of wicker furniture, 271 00:11:00,707 --> 00:11:02,038 my desire to play the trumpet, 272 00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:03,577 my tentative plans to purchase a hat, 273 00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:05,166 and six years of improv workshops. 274 00:11:05,295 --> 00:11:06,911 - Comedy comes in threes. - It's a trap! 275 00:11:07,046 --> 00:11:09,037 - Abort! We never left his - 276 00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:12,249 No! 277 00:11:14,971 --> 00:11:16,382 Another day, another dollar. 278 00:11:16,514 --> 00:11:18,130 Am I a great insect creature or what? 279 00:11:18,266 --> 00:11:19,347 Congratulations, Agent. 280 00:11:19,475 --> 00:11:20,715 You'll be highly commended for this. 281 00:11:20,852 --> 00:11:22,263 Always wait for permission to 282 00:11:22,395 --> 00:11:23,726 Feel accomplishment — That's my motto. 283 00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:25,311 One thing still perplexes me — 284 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,147 Why would Rick Sanchez turn himself in? 285 00:11:27,275 --> 00:11:29,733 Well, I'm just a dumb-ass bug, but it's possible Rick knew 286 00:11:29,861 --> 00:11:31,272 he'd be interrogated at this facility, 287 00:11:31,404 --> 00:11:32,894 where we not only keep our most wanted, 288 00:11:33,031 --> 00:11:34,146 but our most sensitive data. 289 00:11:34,282 --> 00:11:36,319 Anyone here with level-9 access could 290 00:11:36,451 --> 00:11:38,112 I don't know. Collapse the government. 291 00:11:38,244 --> 00:11:39,530 I'm just gonna go take a dump. 292 00:11:39,662 --> 00:11:41,403 Is it cool if I use the level-9 bathrooms? 293 00:11:41,539 --> 00:11:43,951 W-What's the level-9 master access code again? 294 00:11:44,083 --> 00:11:45,949 Oh, that's easy - 5.3 _ 295 00:11:46,085 --> 00:11:47,621 Oh, yeah! 296 00:11:47,754 --> 00:11:49,210 S.E.A.L. Team Ricks in the house! 297 00:11:51,591 --> 00:11:52,797 Hi, Rick. 298 00:11:52,925 --> 00:11:53,881 Bye, Rick. 299 00:11:58,556 --> 00:12:00,012 D-99, y-you okay? 300 00:12:02,018 --> 00:12:04,635 I'm bummed I didn't get to give that insect dick a test drive. 301 00:12:04,771 --> 00:12:06,387 Wait, wait, wait, wait! T-The Council of Ricks sent us. 302 00:12:06,522 --> 00:12:07,728 We have your Morty and Summer. 303 00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:09,188 They're prisoners on the Citadel. 304 00:12:09,317 --> 00:12:10,273 - Great. 305 00:12:10,401 --> 00:12:12,813 - Security breach in room 6755. 306 00:12:12,945 --> 00:12:13,650 Lovely. 307 00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:16,613 Not only is my plan screwed up, I also forgot how to improvise. 308 00:12:16,741 --> 00:12:18,652 - All security people approach. 309 00:12:18,785 --> 00:12:20,822 Security breach. 310 00:12:27,043 --> 00:12:28,579 A city of Grandpas? 311 00:12:28,711 --> 00:12:30,076 It's the Citadel of Ricks. 312 00:12:30,213 --> 00:12:32,204 All the different Ricks from all the different realities 313 00:12:32,340 --> 00:12:33,922 got together to hide here from the government. 314 00:12:34,050 --> 00:12:35,757 But if every Rick hates the government, 315 00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:37,000 why would they hate Grandpa? 316 00:12:37,136 --> 00:12:39,002 Because Ricks hate themselves the most. 317 00:12:39,138 --> 00:12:41,630 And our Rick is the most... himself. 318 00:12:41,766 --> 00:12:42,801 Not anymore, homey. 319 00:12:42,934 --> 00:12:44,516 S.E.A.L. Team Ricks turned his unibrow 320 00:12:44,644 --> 00:12:46,635 into two brows — with a bullet. 321 00:12:47,772 --> 00:12:50,935 Your Rick's dead! Your Rick's dead! 322 00:12:53,236 --> 00:12:56,649 Sir, Rick D-99 is returning from the mission alone. 323 00:12:56,781 --> 00:12:59,273 Apparently, S.E.A.L. Team Ricks suffered heavy casualties. 324 00:12:59,409 --> 00:13:00,274 Bring him in. 325 00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:03,619 He says he'll only talk to a Rick with higher clearance. 326 00:13:03,746 --> 00:13:05,657 La-di-da. Give me that. 327 00:13:05,790 --> 00:13:09,124 D-99, this is the commander in chief of the Citadel's militia. 328 00:13:09,252 --> 00:13:10,413 Go— Good enough. 329 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,713 He's a spy. Blow him up. I'm gonna go take a shit. 330 00:13:15,842 --> 00:13:17,833 Operating an unregistered portal gun, 331 00:13:17,969 --> 00:13:19,505 radicalizing a Summer, 332 00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:21,219 conspiring with a traitorous Rick. 333 00:13:21,347 --> 00:13:22,212 How do you plead? 334 00:13:22,348 --> 00:13:23,679 How is this a fair trial? 335 00:13:23,808 --> 00:13:25,298 O-Our lawyer is a Morty! 336 00:13:25,435 --> 00:13:27,642 It's not fair, you have no rights, and he's not a lawyer. 337 00:13:27,770 --> 00:13:29,352 We just keep him here because he's fun. 338 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:30,595 Look at him go. 339 00:13:30,731 --> 00:13:31,846 Yeah! 340 00:13:31,983 --> 00:13:34,315 We'll be lenient if you renounce your Rick. 341 00:13:34,444 --> 00:13:35,809 What say you, Summer? 342 00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:38,733 I say fuck you! My grandpa was my hero. 343 00:13:38,865 --> 00:13:40,481 You killed him because you were jealous of him. 344 00:13:40,616 --> 00:13:42,232 That's pretty obvious from the haircuts. 345 00:13:42,368 --> 00:13:44,530 So do what you want to me, but let my brother go. 346 00:13:44,662 --> 00:13:46,073 He already renounced Rick. 347 00:13:46,205 --> 00:13:46,819 M o Morty? 348 00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:48,697 - What? 349 00:13:48,833 --> 00:13:51,291 N-No, I don't want to see your pog collection. 350 00:13:51,419 --> 00:13:53,660 I don't renounce Rick, and I never have. 351 00:13:53,796 --> 00:13:56,163 I was just trying to protect my sister. 352 00:13:56,299 --> 00:13:57,835 I wanted you to have a normal life. 353 00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,799 That's something you can't have when Rick shows up. 354 00:13:59,927 --> 00:14:02,589 Everything real turns fake. Everything right is wrong. 355 00:14:02,722 --> 00:14:05,009 All you know is that you know nothing and he knows everything. 356 00:14:05,141 --> 00:14:08,099 And, well — well, he's not a villain, Summer, 357 00:14:08,227 --> 00:14:09,888 but he shouldn't be your hero. 358 00:14:10,021 --> 00:14:13,230 He's more like a demon or a super fucked-up god. 359 00:14:13,357 --> 00:14:15,348 Let's not suck the ghost of his dick too hard. 360 00:14:15,485 --> 00:14:17,351 He was a terrorist, and now he's dead. 361 00:14:17,487 --> 00:14:19,228 Oh, yeah? If you think my Rick's dead, he's alive! 362 00:14:19,363 --> 00:14:21,070 And if you think you're safe, he's coming for you! 363 00:14:27,288 --> 00:14:29,029 Hey! Whoa, whoa! What are you doing in here? 364 00:14:29,165 --> 00:14:31,452 This area is for teleporting the entire Citadel 365 00:14:31,584 --> 00:14:34,042 to somewhere else using only buttons and dials. 366 00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:35,706 Yeah? Well, it's a bad idea 367 00:14:35,838 --> 00:14:38,626 to have it designed that way then, isn't it? 368 00:14:44,722 --> 00:14:45,712 - What the fuck? 369 00:14:45,848 --> 00:14:48,215 We just teleported into a Galactic federal prison! 370 00:14:48,351 --> 00:14:50,763 - I'm gonna go take a shit. 371 00:14:50,895 --> 00:14:52,636 Order in the court! Whoa! What the hell? 372 00:14:52,772 --> 00:14:53,637 Oh, my God! 373 00:14:55,775 --> 00:14:57,516 Aah! 374 00:14:57,652 --> 00:14:59,063 Wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, no! 375 00:15:02,114 --> 00:15:04,105 Whoa! 376 00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:05,990 Whoa! 377 00:15:13,417 --> 00:15:17,376 The Citadel has been teleported to Federation space. 378 00:15:17,505 --> 00:15:20,088 It's doomed. This has to be 0-137, you guys. 379 00:15:20,216 --> 00:15:21,547 - What are we gonna do? - You know he's coming for us. 380 00:15:21,676 --> 00:15:23,792 All right! Calm down! We have his Summer as a hostage. 381 00:15:23,928 --> 00:15:25,043 Obviously, I get her. 382 00:15:25,179 --> 00:15:27,466 You guys play Rick, Laser, Scissors for the Morty. 383 00:15:29,016 --> 00:15:30,427 W-What the hell is that? 384 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:32,517 Payback. 385 00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:36,095 Grandpa Rick! 386 00:15:36,232 --> 00:15:37,848 - Duh. - You're alive! 387 00:15:37,984 --> 00:15:39,065 - Rick! - Morty, take this. 388 00:15:39,193 --> 00:15:41,434 You're gonna need it later. 389 00:15:44,615 --> 00:15:46,322 Hold on. Hold on. Whoa! 390 00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:48,191 That's enough, Rick. 391 00:15:48,327 --> 00:15:49,943 What — What's this supposed to accomplish? 392 00:15:50,079 --> 00:15:51,194 We have infinite grandkids. 393 00:15:51,330 --> 00:15:53,788 You're trying to use Disney bucks at a Caesars Palace here. 394 00:15:53,916 --> 00:15:56,248 That's a bluff. He's bluffing, sir. He loves me. 395 00:15:56,377 --> 00:15:58,914 You're a rogue Rick — irrational, passionate. 396 00:15:59,046 --> 00:16:01,663 You love your grandkids. You came to rescue them. 397 00:16:01,799 --> 00:16:03,585 I came to kill you, bro. 398 00:16:03,718 --> 00:16:05,129 That's not even my original Summer. 399 00:16:05,261 --> 00:16:06,843 Oh, my God. He's not bluffing. He's not bluffing! 400 00:16:06,971 --> 00:16:08,803 - R-Rick? - Why not shoot through her? 401 00:16:08,931 --> 00:16:11,047 Twenty yards, nine-gauge plasma pistol. 402 00:16:11,183 --> 00:16:13,595 My first shot would liquify her insides and injure you, 403 00:16:13,728 --> 00:16:14,889 second shot adds recoil. 404 00:16:15,021 --> 00:16:17,308 The risk to me is minimized if I wait for you to shoot her, 405 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:18,726 which I'm encouraging you to do. 406 00:16:18,858 --> 00:16:20,314 - What the fuck? - Or let her go, 407 00:16:20,443 --> 00:16:21,979 which I will reward with a quicker death. 408 00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:23,192 Because you love her! 409 00:16:23,321 --> 00:16:26,439 Because it's incentive for you to give me my cleanest shot, 410 00:16:26,574 --> 00:16:28,235 which will be your least painful death. 411 00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:30,859 But if you want to die slower than that, I'm super into it. 412 00:16:30,995 --> 00:16:32,485 All you got to do to get that started is kill the girl. 413 00:16:32,622 --> 00:16:34,909 - I hate you! - Not an issue, sweetie. 414 00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:36,952 That's enough! Drop the gun, Rick! 415 00:16:37,084 --> 00:16:38,700 Morty, I know you're too stupid to get this, 416 00:16:38,836 --> 00:16:40,326 but you're really fucking this up right now. 417 00:16:40,463 --> 00:16:41,999 I'm not letting you let my sister die! 418 00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:42,996 Drop the gun! 419 00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,918 I wasn't gonna let her die, you fucking moron! 420 00:16:46,093 --> 00:16:47,834 The point is he thought I was going to. 421 00:16:47,970 --> 00:16:50,632 I totally did, by the way. You're a fucking moron, Morty. 422 00:16:50,765 --> 00:16:52,005 Morty, you fucking idiot! 423 00:16:52,141 --> 00:16:53,848 You're a serious fucking idiot, Morty! 424 00:16:53,976 --> 00:16:54,966 You basically killed us all! 425 00:16:55,102 --> 00:16:56,763 - You're the worst! - You're dumb as a bag of sand! 426 00:17:02,818 --> 00:17:04,354 Who's stupid now, bitch? 427 00:17:04,487 --> 00:17:06,148 Morty! We just got him back! 428 00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:08,738 That was amazing, Morty. 429 00:17:08,866 --> 00:17:10,231 Oh, my God. 430 00:17:10,368 --> 00:17:11,950 Okay. Let's wrap this - 431 00:17:13,329 --> 00:17:15,036 Good job, Morty. Let's go, kids. 432 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:16,404 What? What happened? 433 00:17:16,540 --> 00:17:18,030 Oldest Rick trick in the book. 434 00:17:18,167 --> 00:17:20,078 "Fake gun. Shoot me in standoff." 435 00:17:20,211 --> 00:17:21,667 - Brilliant! - Ha! Yeah. 436 00:17:21,796 --> 00:17:24,128 G-Good thing I saw that note. 437 00:17:30,513 --> 00:17:32,003 Couldn't we just portal home? 438 00:17:32,139 --> 00:17:33,504 Not until I finish what I started. 439 00:17:34,725 --> 00:17:37,808 And that is how you get level-9 access without a password. 440 00:17:38,896 --> 00:17:39,761 Freeze! 441 00:17:39,897 --> 00:17:41,979 Employee of the month, ladies and gentlemen. 442 00:17:42,108 --> 00:17:44,145 So what are you doing with level-9 access anyways? 443 00:17:44,276 --> 00:17:45,937 Destroying the Galactic government. 444 00:17:46,070 --> 00:17:47,060 - Awesome! - Whoa! Cool! 445 00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:49,107 Are you going to set all their nukes to target each other? 446 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,856 Ooh, or — or reprogram their military portals 447 00:17:50,991 --> 00:17:52,447 to disintegrate their entire space fleet? 448 00:17:52,576 --> 00:17:54,487 Good pitches, kids. I'm almost proud. 449 00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:56,782 But watch closely as Grandpa topples an empire 450 00:17:56,914 --> 00:17:59,997 by changing a one... to a zero. 451 00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:05,374 Mr. President, the Blemflarck's value just dropped to nothing. 452 00:18:05,506 --> 00:18:06,621 What do you mean? 453 00:18:06,757 --> 00:18:08,873 I mean our single centralized Galactic currency 454 00:18:09,009 --> 00:18:12,752 just went from being worth one of itself to zero of itself. 455 00:18:12,888 --> 00:18:14,595 - Dear God, no. - Calm down, people. 456 00:18:14,724 --> 00:18:16,715 Deploy the Galactic militia and declare martial law. 457 00:18:16,851 --> 00:18:17,716 Yes, sir. 458 00:18:17,852 --> 00:18:19,559 Uh, what should I pay them with? 459 00:18:19,687 --> 00:18:22,645 Their payment is the honor they'll feel to serve their — 460 00:18:22,773 --> 00:18:24,764 Wait. Who's paying me to yell at this guy? 461 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:27,187 I can answer that — for money. 462 00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:28,684 I never thought I'd live to see this day. 463 00:18:28,821 --> 00:18:30,027 Gentlemen! Gentlemen! 464 00:18:30,156 --> 00:18:32,614 There's a solution here you're not seeing. 465 00:18:35,870 --> 00:18:37,656 - Give me your jacket! - Give me those pants! 466 00:18:45,796 --> 00:18:47,457 I want more jackets! 467 00:18:47,590 --> 00:18:50,127 He who controls the pants controls the galaxy! 468 00:19:04,356 --> 00:19:08,350 No longer will the insects have domain over surface world! 469 00:19:16,494 --> 00:19:18,576 Jerry, what the hell is happening? 470 00:19:18,704 --> 00:19:20,411 The Galactic government collapsed. 471 00:19:20,539 --> 00:19:21,870 - Are you okay? - Look. 472 00:19:21,999 --> 00:19:23,455 I'm not proud to share this, but the truth is, 473 00:19:23,584 --> 00:19:25,370 I just kept crawling, and it kept working. 474 00:19:25,503 --> 00:19:27,335 - Oh, I'm glad you're okay. 475 00:19:27,463 --> 00:19:31,206 Are we ever going to stop paying for indulging your father? 476 00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:34,050 Our children, our planet, our jobs. 477 00:19:34,178 --> 00:19:35,668 Is there anything left to lose? 478 00:19:35,805 --> 00:19:38,012 Just each other, and I'll never let you go. 479 00:19:38,140 --> 00:19:41,132 And I'm so sorry I ever did this to us. 480 00:19:41,727 --> 00:19:43,934 Guess who dismantled the government. 481 00:19:44,063 --> 00:19:46,054 - Please don't leave me again. - I never will, baby. 482 00:19:46,190 --> 00:19:47,931 I was right! He turned himself in on purpose! 483 00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:49,523 It was all part of his plan! 484 00:19:49,652 --> 00:19:50,938 Jerry. Is there any light bear left? 485 00:19:51,070 --> 00:19:52,731 It's insane what you miss in prison. 486 00:19:52,863 --> 00:19:54,604 Um, okay. 487 00:19:54,740 --> 00:19:56,697 No, no, no. Foot-down time. 488 00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:58,237 No. You're right. Where's the vodka? 489 00:19:58,369 --> 00:20:00,906 Beth, it's him or me! 490 00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,450 Seems like you guys need some privacy. 491 00:20:06,585 --> 00:20:08,576 I'll, uh, I'll be in the garage. 492 00:20:11,632 --> 00:20:14,124 What the fuck? Not cool, Jerry! 493 00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:16,547 A man's garage is his castle. 494 00:20:23,686 --> 00:20:28,556 Jerry's going to spend some time... divorced. 495 00:20:28,691 --> 00:20:30,523 Oh. Oh, I-I'm sorry to hear that, sweetie. 496 00:20:30,651 --> 00:20:32,233 I hope I had nothing to do with that. 497 00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:34,728 Oh, God. Dad, that is not your burden to bear. 498 00:20:34,864 --> 00:20:37,572 I feel terrible that I misjudged you. 499 00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:39,282 This is gonna be good for Jerry. 500 00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:41,321 - For everybody. - For everybody. 501 00:20:41,453 --> 00:20:44,536 - I better tend to Jerry 502 00:20:44,665 --> 00:20:47,202 before he changes his mind and doesn't move out. 503 00:20:47,334 --> 00:20:49,291 I will leave you two to your adventures. 504 00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:50,205 Oh, my God. 505 00:20:50,337 --> 00:20:52,499 Nancy says they're drawing and quartering aliens 506 00:20:52,631 --> 00:20:53,666 in the school courtyard, 507 00:20:53,799 --> 00:20:55,961 and it technically counts as patriotism. 508 00:20:56,093 --> 00:20:58,926 Geez! Are my parents seriously gonna get divorced? 509 00:20:59,054 --> 00:21:00,260 All right, Rick. I'm gonna go to my — Gah! 510 00:21:00,389 --> 00:21:02,096 Not so fast, Morty. You heard your mom. 511 00:21:02,224 --> 00:21:04,761 We've got adventures to go on, Morty, just you and me. 512 00:21:04,894 --> 00:21:06,805 And sometimes your sister and sometimes your mom, 513 00:21:06,937 --> 00:21:07,847 but never your dad. 514 00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:09,971 You want to know why, Morty? Because he crossed me. 515 00:21:10,107 --> 00:21:11,814 Okay. Take it easy, Rick. T-That's dark. 516 00:21:11,942 --> 00:21:13,103 Oh, it gets darker, Morty. 517 00:21:13,235 --> 00:21:15,192 Welcome to the darkest year of our adventures. 518 00:21:15,321 --> 00:21:16,402 First thing that's different — 519 00:21:16,530 --> 00:21:17,645 - no more Dad, Morty. - Oh, geez. 520 00:21:17,781 --> 00:21:19,192 He threatened to turn me in to the government, 521 00:21:19,325 --> 00:21:21,066 so I made him and the government go away. 522 00:21:21,201 --> 00:21:21,986 Oh, fuck. 523 00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:24,952 I've replaced them both as the de facto patriarch 524 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,787 of your family and your universe. 525 00:21:26,916 --> 00:21:27,951 Your mom wouldn't have accepted me 526 00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:29,494 if I came home without you and your sister, 527 00:21:29,627 --> 00:21:31,413 so now you know the real reason I rescued you. 528 00:21:31,545 --> 00:21:32,831 I just took over the family, MOW. 529 00:21:32,963 --> 00:21:34,670 And if you tell your mom or sister I said any of this, 530 00:21:34,798 --> 00:21:36,334 I'll deny it, and they'll take my side 531 00:21:36,467 --> 00:21:37,423 because I'm a hero, Morty. 532 00:21:37,551 --> 00:21:39,633 Now you're gonna have to go and do whatever I say, Morty, 533 00:21:39,762 --> 00:21:40,467 Forever! 534 00:21:40,596 --> 00:21:42,337 And I'll — I'll go out and I'll find some more of that 535 00:21:42,473 --> 00:21:45,215 "Mulan" Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, Morty. 536 00:21:45,351 --> 00:21:46,557 - What are you talking about? - Because that's — 537 00:21:46,685 --> 00:21:47,891 that's what this is all about. Marty! 538 00:21:48,020 --> 00:21:49,476 - Szechuan? - That's my one-armed man! 539 00:21:49,605 --> 00:21:51,437 I'm not driven by avenging my dead family, Morty! 540 00:21:51,565 --> 00:21:52,430 That was fake! 541 00:21:52,566 --> 00:21:54,523 I-I'm driven by finding that McNugget sauce. 542 00:21:54,652 --> 00:21:56,268 I want that "Mulan" McNugget sauce, Morty! 543 00:21:56,403 --> 00:21:57,985 - That's my series arc, Morty! - What the hell? 544 00:21:58,113 --> 00:22:00,195 If it takes nine seasons, I want my McNugget dipping sauce — 545 00:22:00,324 --> 00:22:02,156 - Szechuan sauce, Morty. - What are you talking about? 546 00:22:02,284 --> 00:22:03,194 That's what's gonna take us 547 00:22:03,327 --> 00:22:05,238 - all the way to the end, Morty. - What are you talking about? 548 00:22:05,371 --> 00:22:06,486 Nine more seasons, Morty. 549 00:22:06,622 --> 00:22:09,034 Nine more seasons until I get that dipping Szechuan sauce. 550 00:22:09,166 --> 00:22:10,782 - What is that? - For 97 more years, Morty! 551 00:22:10,918 --> 00:22:11,783 What are you talking about? 552 00:22:11,919 --> 00:22:13,876 I want that McNugget sauce. Morty! 553 00:22:49,206 --> 00:22:50,071 Is it ready? 554 00:22:50,207 --> 00:22:51,868 Yes. We can bring it online now. 555 00:22:52,001 --> 00:22:53,082 Do it. 556 00:22:56,588 --> 00:22:59,421 I am Phoenix Person. 557 00:22:59,550 --> 00:23:01,086 Phoenix Person? Is that what we settled on? 558 00:23:01,218 --> 00:23:03,084 I thought we all agreed on Cyber Bird. 559 00:23:03,220 --> 00:23:05,052 Y-You said you didn't care what he was called 560 00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:06,466 as long as we brought him back. 561 00:23:06,598 --> 00:23:07,929 Yeah, but Phoenix Person? 562 00:23:08,058 --> 00:23:09,389 Fine. Fuck it. Who cares? 563 00:23:10,769 --> 00:23:14,262 Ka-kaw!