1
00:00:01,293 --> 00:00:03,671
I gotta tell you, Rick.
It's pretty great...

2
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:05,798
to be in this spaceship,
just the two of us, you know?

3
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,508
Just cruising around,
Rick and Morty style.

4
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,013
I agree, Morty.

5
00:00:09,092 --> 00:00:10,514
It's nice to get
back to the basics

6
00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,346
after a pretty intense,
mixed-bag of a year.

7
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:13,476
- Ohh!
- Relax.

8
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,148
That's what Windshields are for.

9
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,101
I didn't know that
there were bugs out in space.

10
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,527
Well, w-what did you think,
Morty?

11
00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,275
Life just developed
on Earth by itself?

12
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:22,948
Here, let me take care of this.

13
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:26,072
Geez, Rick, that's disgusting.
I don't wanna look at that.

14
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,368
Yeah, guess I'm out of fluid.

15
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:29,321
L-Let me find
a place to stop.

16
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,378
Hey, muchacho, does your planet
have wiper fluid yet,

17
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,672
or are you gonna freak out
and start worshipping us?

18
00:00:38,914 --> 00:00:40,291
The general store
ought to have what you need.

19
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:41,796
Thanks.

20
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,128
Of course, you'll be wanting
to be gone from here by sundown.

21
00:00:44,211 --> 00:00:46,054
Yeah, sure thing.
Wait a minute. What? Why?

22
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,131
Sundown is when
the festival begins.

23
00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:49,262
The festival?

24
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:51,469
Ooh, well, for millennia,

25
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:54,396
our society has been free
of crime and war,

26
00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:56,473
- Living in perfect peace.
- Oh, I know what this is!

27
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,309
You've been able
to sustain world peace

28
00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,440
because you have one night
a year where you all run around

29
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,942
robbing and murdering each other
without consequence.

30
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,273
- That's right.
- What?

31
00:01:04,356 --> 00:01:06,154
It's like "The Purge," Morty.
That movie "The Purge"?

32
00:01:06,233 --> 00:01:07,985
Oh, have you been here before?

33
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,991
No, no, but I've been to a few
planets with the same gimmick.

34
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,573
You know, sometimes it's called
the Cleansing or the Red Time.

35
00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,125
There was this one world that
called it just Murder Night.

36
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:16,702
I-It's a purge planet.

37
00:01:16,952 --> 00:01:18,704
They're peaceful, and then,
you know, they just purge.

38
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:21,631
- T-That's horrible!
- Yeah.

39
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,334
You want to check it out?

40
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:33,000
Ripped By mstoll

41
00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,996
So, what do you do
during the festival?

42
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,248
You lock yourself in,
or you go out and do some stuff?

43
00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:01,376
Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff.

44
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,878
Oh, I bet you do, old timer.

45
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,675
Gee— Rick, come on.
The sun is setting.

46
00:02:05,751 --> 00:02:07,219
W-We got to
get out of here.

47
00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,296
All right, well, w-what do
I owe you for the wiper fluid?

48
00:02:09,379 --> 00:02:11,723
It's on the house.
Oh, and, uh,

49
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,221
why — Why don't you have
some candy bars, as well?

50
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:15,894
Oh, no way.
That's really nice of you.

51
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,722
I'm a nice guy...
for now.

52
00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,432
Ohh, I don't doubt it.

53
00:02:20,515 --> 00:02:22,017
- Rick!
- Yeah, yeah.

54
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,818
Hey, have a good festival,
old timer.

55
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,438
I intend to.

56
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:29,657
Rick, unlock it!

57
00:02:29,733 --> 00:02:30,825
Just a second, Morty.

58
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,615
Oh, look at that sunset.

59
00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,241
Stop screwing around.

60
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:38,659
There we go. Much better.
Now we can see.

61
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:39,709
Great.

62
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,503
Hey, you know what, Morty?

63
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:43,706
Why don't we christen our
squeaky-clean windshield here

64
00:02:43,789 --> 00:02:45,462
by watching a little
of this purge through it?

65
00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,383
What? No!
What is your problem?

66
00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,211
Morty, grow up.
If you don't want to watch,

67
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:50,796
don't watch,
but, you know, it's my car.

68
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,802
Also, if you
tell your mom about this,

69
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,554
- I'll purge you.
- You're the worst.

70
00:02:54,633 --> 00:02:56,681
This planet is the worst.
How can you be into this?

71
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,512
You know, people are gonna
kill each other.

72
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,518
So, what, y-y-you trying
to sit here and tell me that

73
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,645
I-if — if there's
a video online

74
00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:03,816
with someone getting
decapitated,

75
00:03:03,892 --> 00:03:05,439
- You don't click on it?
- No!

76
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,613
Why — Why would I do that?
You do that?

77
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,235
I don't,
because it would bore me.

78
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,782
I see shit like that
for breakfast, Morty.

79
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,530
But if you don't do it,
I say it's because

80
00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:14,282
you're afraid of your own
primal instincts.

81
00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,954
So you stuff them down and —

82
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,497
Oh, oh!
Shh. Shh. It's starting.

83
00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,949
- Oh-Ho-Ho! Here we go.
- I'm not watching.

84
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,705
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
your medal's in the mail.

85
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:22,536
- I'm gonna get a closer look.
- Oh, okay, sure.

86
00:03:22,619 --> 00:03:23,962
And then someone's
gonna throw a rock

87
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,710
and hit the car
and then we're gonna crash

88
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,291
and we're gonna
be stuck down there

89
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,626
and it's gonna be
what we deserve.

90
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,586
Yawn.

91
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,342
Whoa!

92
00:03:32,421 --> 00:03:34,844
Whoa, they are purging
the fuck out of each other.

93
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,517
Oh, my god!

94
00:03:37,592 --> 00:03:39,640
Oh shit!

95
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:42,724
That was —
Okay, yeah. T-That was gross.

96
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:44,979
Wow. Man, I think my eyes
were bigger than my stomach

97
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,856
on this one, Morty.
Ugh.

98
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:49,571
My appetite for purge-spectating
got f-illed pretty quick.

99
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,364
Oh, god.

100
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,657
Get away from me!

101
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:58,239
No! No! Help!

102
00:03:58,321 --> 00:03:59,447
Somebody help me! Aah!

103
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,283
All right, Morty.
L-Let's get out of here.

104
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,460
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on.
W-We have to go down there.

105
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:04,832
What? Why?

106
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:07,005
That poor girl.
W-We have to save her.

107
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,003
Uh, Morty, in space,
we have something we call

108
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,460
the non-interference policy.
We got the wiper fluid.

109
00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:13,545
We watched them kill each other.
We're leaving.

110
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:16,381
Help me save that girl, or I'm
telling mom you brought me here.

111
00:04:16,465 --> 00:04:18,763
You little turd.

112
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:20,640
Please! Leave me alone!

113
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,687
Leave you alone?
During a purge?

114
00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,356
I don't think so, baby.

115
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:29,277
It's okay.
We're not gonna hurt you.

116
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,571
My name is Morty.
This is my grandpa.

117
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:34,024
- We're tourists.
- Not anymore.

118
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,484
- Aah!
- Aah!

119
00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,035
Oh, my god.
This is fucking awesome!

120
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,862
Morty, this is really cool.

121
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,698
Hey, y-you want to help me out
here and kill some people?

122
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,409
It's fun.
We're totally justified...

123
00:04:43,492 --> 00:04:45,335
because we're saving
a little girl.

124
00:04:45,410 --> 00:04:47,833
I mean, w-w-we're both free and
clear to murder these people.

125
00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,631
- Are you okay?
- Yes.

126
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:51,174
I have to find
somewhere to hide.

127
00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,717
Well, you can hide with us.
Rick?

128
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:54,545
- Yeah?
- Do you think we could take —

129
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,925
- W-What's your name?
- Arthrisha.

130
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,802
Could we take Arthrisha
up in the ship

131
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,633
and, you know,
just wait out the purge?

132
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:00,888
Oh, Morty, how can I refuse

133
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,265
after all you've done
to blackmail me?

134
00:05:07,599 --> 00:05:09,977
Your vehicle —
Is it from the gods?

135
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,604
- No.
- Yes.

136
00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:15,862
So, uh, you know,
when the purge started,

137
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,739
did people get into it
right away,

138
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,946
or were they like, "Wait, what?

139
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,406
This is gonna stop crime
how, exactly?"

140
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,413
Yeah, it took some time
for people to accept it.

141
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,914
Yeah, I bet.
I bet.

142
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:28,791
Yeah, it's kind of like
cellphones, you know?

143
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,213
At first, everyone was like,

144
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:31,540
"look at those
douchebags purging."

145
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:32,875
And then
the next thing you know,

146
00:05:32,958 --> 00:05:34,631
they're like,
"it's just so convenient."

147
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:36,211
Geez, you working on
your tight five

148
00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:37,796
for the comedy store, Morty?

149
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:42,930
Whatcha doing?

150
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:45,432
Watching some TV,
playing on your phone?

151
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:48,391
- Is that a real question?
- Just making conversation.

152
00:05:48,473 --> 00:05:50,976
Are you? What part of that
gives me anything to work with?

153
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:53,858
My choice is to say nothing,
be sarcastic,

154
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,905
or bark "yes"
like a trained animal.

155
00:05:55,981 --> 00:05:57,483
It's not a conversation.

156
00:05:57,566 --> 00:05:59,034
You're holding me
verbally hostage.

157
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,404
Okay, ass-face.
I'll go in the kitchen.

158
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,703
- Hey, Dad.
- Yeah?

159
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,406
Whatcha doing?
Going into the kitchen?

160
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,661
Okay.

161
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:07,367
- Yeah, you like that?
- Screw you.

162
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:11,580
So, uh, do most people
wear masks when they purge?

163
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:13,836
I-I don't want to answer
any more purge questions.

164
00:06:13,915 --> 00:06:15,713
All right,
hey, hey, that's cool.

165
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,510
I can roll with that.

166
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,559
- My nana!
- Huh?

167
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,683
My nana!
We have to save her!

168
00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,854
You just now remembered
your nana exists.

169
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,856
I-I was traumatized.

170
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:35,937
Haven't you been through
like 15 purges?

171
00:06:36,021 --> 00:06:37,147
I mean, some as a child?

172
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,982
Will somebody
just help me get her?

173
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,942
Fine, whatever.
Morty, stay.

174
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:53,042
Oh, god. Oh, crap. Oh, crap!

175
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:54,919
- Get out! Get out!
- Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!

176
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,171
Get the fuck out
of the flying machine!

177
00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:58,877
Oh. my god!
O-Okay! Okay!

178
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,462
Back up, asshole.

179
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:01,967
- Back up.
- Ohh.

180
00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,470
- Back the fuck up!
- Aah!

181
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:07,473
For what it's worth, I'm sorry,

182
00:07:07,552 --> 00:07:09,520
but that's not really
worth anything tonight, is it?

183
00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:12,475
Y-You can't leave us here.
You're killing us!

184
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,935
You hear me? Come back.

185
00:07:15,018 --> 00:07:18,568
Y-You got to come back.
Change your mind.

186
00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:20,069
Oh, geez.

187
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:23,027
Morty! Aah!
Fucking Amish bitch shot me!

188
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,827
She tried to purge me, Morty.

189
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,997
You let your wiener do
the walking, and now I'm dead.

190
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:29,495
- Rick, she took the car!
- You fucking kidding me, Morty?

191
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,871
She took my car and the gun.

192
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:32,669
We're like the rest
of these assholes now.

193
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:34,087
W-W-We're gonna
get purged, Morty.

194
00:07:34,329 --> 00:07:35,546
Help me up.

195
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,965
Oh, geez, geez!
Wait a minute, Rick.

196
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,667
Why don't we just use
your portal gun?

197
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:39,922
It's in the car, dip-ass.

198
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,503
Oh, god, it hurts.

199
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,088
She got me right in
the goddamn liver, Morty.

200
00:07:43,338 --> 00:07:45,090
It's the hardest-working liver
in the galaxy, Morty,

201
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,092
and now it has a hole in it.
I hope it was worth it.

202
00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:48,810
I was just trying to do right.

203
00:07:48,885 --> 00:07:51,104
Yeah, well, that's not really
the theme of tonight's party.

204
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,768
Heads up. Rapists.

205
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,099
Well, don't just stand there,
Morty.

206
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,316
- Purge 'em.
- Me?

207
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:57,235
No, me. Should I rub
my liver hole on them?

208
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,153
Pick up a stick or something
and kill them.

209
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:00,943
Urn, w-we come in peace.

210
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:03,400
Oh, my god.

211
00:08:05,527 --> 00:08:06,949
There's more
where that came from!

212
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,325
You want to get purged,
you bring it!

213
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,284
Drop drop your shit!
Drop it all.

214
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:13,039
Morty, go get their shit.
Hurry up.

215
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:14,711
I only had one
of those things I threw.

216
00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,459
I'm holding a box of Tic Tacs
right now.

217
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:20,880
- Want some crackers?
- No, thank you.

218
00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,552
Are you ready to be nice to me?

219
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,425
In exchange for crackers?

220
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,178
- What happened to you?
- Dad, get a job.

221
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,847
You're trying to create drama
because you're bored.

222
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,974
Oh.

223
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,476
It's the space phone
Grandpa gave us.

224
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,399
- Hello?
- Hey, Summer, it's Grandpa.

225
00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:38,272
I need you to do me a favor.

226
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,773
- I can barely hear you.
- Who is it?

227
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:41,480
Morty and I are on a planet
that's purging.

228
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,861
- I need you to take down —
- A plan that's what?

229
00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:45,908
We're on a planet
that's purging, Summer. Purging.

230
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,533
We lost our car and my gun,
and we're in a purge.

231
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,158
- Ooh, is it Taddi Mason?
- Like the movie "The Purge"?

232
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:51,990
Yes, I-I need you
to take —

233
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:54,371
- That movie sucked.
- Oh, my god. Hold on.

234
00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,124
It's not Taddi Mason?

235
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,875
Dad, who the fuck
is Taddi Mason?

236
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,046
- My friend.
- Aah!

237
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,590
Are you okay?
I'm putting you on speaker.

238
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:02,292
- Taddi?
- Yes, Jerry, it's Taddi,

239
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,093
a person no one's ever heard of
until now,

240
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,762
calling you on a space phone.

241
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,430
I can't tell
if you're being sarcastic.

242
00:09:09,466 --> 00:09:10,968
Aah!

243
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,562
Reload, fast.

244
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,480
Summer, w-we need you
to take down this number.

245
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,900
- Quit screwing around.
- Morty? Are you all right?

246
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:21,069
- No!
- Why are you with Taddi Mason?

247
00:09:21,144 --> 00:09:23,442
Holy shit Dad!
Shut the fuck up!

248
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,991
Okay. I guess I'm just this
entire family's toilet paper.

249
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,069
Are you writing this down?
Will you please write this down?

250
00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:32,247
- Yes, yes.
- 7-7-1-9-8...

251
00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:36,244
3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5.

252
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:38,120
Aah!

253
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,796
You son of a bitch!

254
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,468
Morty, I don't want to be
the "a little help" guy,

255
00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:48,171
but a little help?

256
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:50,097
- Aah!
- Okay, I have a pen. Go.

257
00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,848
7-7-1-9-8-3-
6-4-2-1-1-2-5.

258
00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:55,144
A spoon, Morty?

259
00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,346
- A Spoon?
- I'm sorry.

260
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,102
There's a pile of silverware
next to you,

261
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:00,354
and you throw me the one thing
that can never kill anything?

262
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,026
All right, okay!

263
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,104
Summer, on the shelf above
my workbench in the garage,

264
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,905
there's a red box
with a keypad on it.

265
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,732
You're gonna
take that box outside,

266
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:10,114
and you're gonna type the number
I just gave you into the keypad.

267
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,661
- Got it?
- Got it.

268
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:13,488
Is it just part of growing up
to hate your dad?

269
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,495
I'm ignoring you.

270
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,417
Morty, if I can get to the top
of that lighthouse,

271
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:20,541
I can send the beacon, and your
sister can launch our package.

272
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,293
Just remember,
if there's people in there

273
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:24,132
and they try to purge us,
we got to purge them first.

274
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:26,175
We're not purging anyone, Rick,
all right? W-Will you stop it?

275
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:27,969
Morty, if we're gonna
survive tonight,

276
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:30,513
you're gonna need to harness
your repressed rage.

277
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,555
I don't have any!

278
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,475
Spoken like a person
with repressed rage.

279
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,097
I take no part in the festival.

280
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:41,603
If you desire to kill me,
I only ask you do it quickly.

281
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:43,060
No such agenda, chief.

282
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,736
We're not too keen on the purge,
either, sir.

283
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,939
We were just hoping to get
on the roof of your lighthouse

284
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,864
so we can send a beacon
to my sister on Earth.

285
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:50,658
- It's a different planet.
- By the way,

286
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,486
life on other planets exists.
Don't let it distract you.

287
00:10:53,570 --> 00:10:55,914
I'll let you use my lighthouse
for shelter and beacon-sending

288
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:57,582
on the condition that you listen
to my tale.

289
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,534
- Okay.
- Deal.

290
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,415
All right, I'm gonna go
to the roof and set things up.

291
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,496
- Morty, you listen to his tale.
- Okay.

292
00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,635
"Fade in. Exterior.
Unnamed city. Day.

293
00:11:13,715 --> 00:11:15,717
The hustle and bustle
is a symphony of progress.

294
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:18,428
We pan past windows, each of
which contain a different story,

295
00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:21,560
to find Jacey Lakims, 28 —
Hot, but doesn't know it.

296
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,016
Jacey stops
when her high heel gets caught

297
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,726
in the grating of a sewer.

298
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:27,312
Suddenly, a man steps into frame
and points a gun at her.

299
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,485
This is not her day.

300
00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,986
Fade to black.

301
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:33,989
Title — 'three weeks earlier."'

302
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:39,115
You really don't want
to talk to me about this.

303
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,577
Dad, Grandpa and Morty
are in danger.

304
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,206
You're unemployed,
and you're bored.

305
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:46,005
- They're a higher priority.
- Stop saying I'm unemployed!

306
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,334
Okay, 7-7-19-.8—.364—2-1-1

307
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:52,258
— Aah!
- Good lord! Now what?

308
00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:57,468
Look, I'm your father, and
I love you is all I'm saying.

309
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,769
- I'll leave it at that.
- Fine, dad!

310
00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,099
Oh, he might have said
to take it outside.

311
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,479
Come on, Summer.

312
00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:07,777
How hard is it
to type some numbers into a box?

313
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:09,229
Target locked.

314
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:10,780
Oh, thank god.

315
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,324
Well, I did my job.
Summer did her job.

316
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:16,903
Now all Morty has to do is
finish listening to that tale.

317
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,364
Maybe I don't need
a new friend.

318
00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,912
Maybe you're
the only friend I need.

319
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,085
Need, or want?

320
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,162
I've never been much
for wanting.

321
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,795
Spoken like someone
with needs.

322
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,045
- Oh, geez.
- Hmm?

323
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,047
Uh, sorry.
K-Keep going.

324
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:33,969
"Jacey reaches out
and touches his face.

325
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,388
It's clear he needs
what she wants.

326
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,177
She's a woman.
He's a man.

327
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,851
The city burns in the background
as he takes her in his arms.

328
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,098
Fade out.

329
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:43,020
Title — 'The End'...

330
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,063
question mark."

331
00:12:44,138 --> 00:12:45,435
- Wow.
- Yeah?

332
00:12:45,682 --> 00:12:48,276
It's...
G-Good job. Good job.

333
00:12:48,351 --> 00:12:49,853
- You liked it?
- Of course I did.

334
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:51,734
You didn't laugh
at the scene in the bar.

335
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:54,783
I... thought it was funny,
but I wanted to hear the rest.

336
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,609
Do you have any thoughts?
Notes?

337
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,741
No. I-I just enjoyed it.

338
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,993
That's my note, you know?
Please write more.

339
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,200
- Seems a little insincere.
- What? No.

340
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,876
You don't have
to mollycoddle me.

341
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,953
I want to improve my writing.
Tell me your real thoughts.

342
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,960
All right. Well, um,
I'm not a huge fan, personally,

343
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,916
of the whole "three weeks
earlier" teaser thing.

344
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,468
I feel like, you know,

345
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:14,882
we should start our stories
where they begin

346
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,429
not start them
where they get interest—

347
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:18,093
- Get out.
- Um, what?

348
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,890
No, I'm sick of this.
You bang on my door,

349
00:13:19,966 --> 00:13:21,889
you beg me to help you, I share
something personal with you,

350
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:23,311
and you take a giant shit on it.

351
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,059
Hey, man, we asked
if we could put up a beacon —

352
00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,560
Well, you can't.
I want you out of here.

353
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,061
You're a petty person,
and you're insecure,

354
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,984
and you're taking it out on me.
That's a good script.

355
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,231
What the hell?

356
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:32,437
I don't care.
I want you out.

357
00:13:32,687 --> 00:13:34,030
- What?
- Take that thing down.

358
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,982
Your grandson
is a shitty person. Leave now.

359
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:37,487
- Morty!
- Rick, I didn't do anything.

360
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,236
I sat through
his entire screenplay —

361
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,491
You "sat through it"?

362
00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,455
Yes! Did you want me
to weep with joy?

363
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:45,246
- It's terrible!
- Whoa Morty! We're guests here.

364
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:48,044
I tried to be a good guest!
He dragged it out of me!

365
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:50,338
- I'm taking down this beacon.
- No, stop! That's not fair!

366
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,131
Just because
you hate your own writing

367
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,708
doesn't make me a bad person!

368
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:54,792
Aah!

369
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,180
You like that? You want me
to cut to three weeks earlier

370
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,302
when you were alive?

371
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:03,180
Whoa, Morty.
You just purged.

372
00:14:03,259 --> 00:14:05,057
Beacon arriving.

373
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,888
Okay, time to go.

374
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,973
Well, terrific.

375
00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:11,936
Dad, what's going on?
What's the deal here?

376
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,191
I just wanted to spend some time
with my daughter.

377
00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:15,943
You're growing up so fast.

378
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,945
- You used to be my little girl.
- Yeah.

379
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,446
Remember when we used to
go to the playground,

380
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,072
and I'd push you on the swings?

381
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:23,496
Oh, you could push me higher
than all the other kids.

382
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:25,365
You were so small and cute.

383
00:14:25,448 --> 00:14:27,450
I thought you were gonna fly
right off into the street.

384
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:29,456
I used to pee my pants.

385
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:31,754
I know, and now look at you!

386
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,923
You have a job.
You're making really good money.

387
00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:35,215
You're not paying any rent,

388
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,214
so you have plenty
of disposable income.

389
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:38,636
Oh, god, Dad.
Please, don't.

390
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,384
I just need
a few hundred dollars

391
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,386
to get through the month. I have
some interviews coming up.

392
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:44,138
Something's gonna come through.
I can feel it.

393
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,389
I'm going inside.

394
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,647
I guess this is what
rock bottom feels like, Jerry.

395
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,224
Ow!

396
00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:53,230
It's okay, Morty.
It's the purge, you know?

397
00:14:53,309 --> 00:14:55,903
Pushing old lighthouse keepers
down the stairs is totally cool.

398
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,401
It's not cool, Rick.
I-I'm not like these people.

399
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:00,358
I can't run around chopping
people's heads off

400
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,785
one day a year and then
sleep well the rest of the time.

401
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:05,033
Well, you better start getting
used to it, little bitch,

402
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:07,411
because we got
some fucking company.

403
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,117
Hey, there he is.

404
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,577
Here I am.

405
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:21,379
Morty.

406
00:15:21,462 --> 00:15:23,305
Time to purge.

407
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,696
Geez. Wow, Morty.
Now you're getting into it.

408
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:44,573
Never expected that out of you.

409
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,871
All right, uh,
let's go find my ship.

410
00:15:51,784 --> 00:15:54,583
Hey, hey, Morty, Morty. There
it is down there — My ship.

411
00:15:54,829 --> 00:15:55,876
It looks to me like the...

412
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,081
Morty?

413
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,088
Eat this!

414
00:16:00,168 --> 00:16:01,294
Ooh, boy, you're really, uh...

415
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,593
You're really going for it
over there, huh?

416
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:06,432
- I, uh...
- I think, uh...

417
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:08,100
I think those people
were just hiding.

418
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,723
I don't give a shit!

419
00:16:09,802 --> 00:16:11,520
Okay, Morty, now you're just
shooting corpses.

420
00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,314
- How do you like this?
- Okay, buddy.

421
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,016
All right. That's good.
Good job.

422
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,898
Time to go home.

423
00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,237
Wait, stop!
Please, don't kill me!

424
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,490
I-I never intended to harm you,
I swear.

425
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,742
I am trying to end the festival.

426
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,324
- W-W-What do you mean?
- I was going to use your ship

427
00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:34,377
to destroy the rich assholes
that run our society

428
00:16:34,452 --> 00:16:37,501
and save my people from the
horrors of this yearly festival.

429
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,208
Fuck that, Rick! We gotta
kill her! Kill her! Kill her!

430
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:42,464
Whoa! Geez, Morty,
purge it down a little.

431
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:44,090
"Purge! Don't purge!"

432
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,672
You're sending me
mixed messages, Rick.

433
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,219
Morty...
you're acting like

434
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:48,515
a...
freaking lunatic.

435
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,218
- Calm down.
- Screw you, Rick!

436
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,599
I'll purge you, too,
you old, rickety piece of crap!

437
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,521
This has been
a long time coming!

438
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,190
I'm gonna rip
your fucking guts out

439
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,562
and smear them
all over your face!

440
00:16:57,642 --> 00:16:58,768
I ain't taking no sh—

441
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,694
- Aah!
- Okay, s-sorry about that.

442
00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,689
Now, where are
these rich people?

443
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:11,281
To another successful year
of the festival,

444
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:15,085
pitting poor people against each
other for thousands of years.

445
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:19,084
Wait, w-where is that music
coming from?

446
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,214
Here's the deal.
I'm not here to judge.

447
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:24,635
I'm just a guy
from another planet.

448
00:17:24,710 --> 00:17:26,257
But this girl
is one of your poor people,

449
00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,805
and I guess you guys
felt like it was okay

450
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,553
to subject her
to inhuman conditions

451
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:31,805
because there was no chance
of it ever hurting you.

452
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,682
It's sort of
the socio-political equivalent

453
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:36,101
of, say, a suit of power armor
around you.

454
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:39,150
But now things are evened out,
so, Arthrisha?

455
00:17:41,352 --> 00:17:43,571
Happy Festival cock suckers!

456
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,115
Suck my cock!
Chew my balls!

457
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,407
Suck my huge dick!

458
00:17:48,609 --> 00:17:50,156
You want to get in on this,
Rick?

459
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,534
No, I really — Honestly,
I-I've had my fill.

460
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:53,990
It's gratuitous at this point.

461
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,370
You sure you don't want
to join in?

462
00:17:57,201 --> 00:17:59,704
Yeah, but —
Ah, all right. Fuck it.

463
00:18:02,623 --> 00:18:04,250
Yeah, bitch, what's up?

464
00:18:13,384 --> 00:18:15,182
Whoa!

465
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,189
Okay, now it's time
we do a little dancing

466
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,569
Look at my fucking feet,
motherfucker!

467
00:18:25,813 --> 00:18:27,440
Arthrisha, what do you got?

468
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,615
Oh, ho!

469
00:18:31,694 --> 00:18:34,447
I don't know what song that is,
but I fucking love it!

470
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,873
"Feels Good."

471
00:18:37,783 --> 00:18:39,706
Topped the charts, I think.
Ho, ho!

472
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:45,170
Hey, thanks
for helping me, Rick.

473
00:18:45,249 --> 00:18:46,717
You're a pretty great guy.

474
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:48,760
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you
for shooting my liver.

475
00:18:48,836 --> 00:18:50,338
I'll see you around.

476
00:18:50,421 --> 00:18:52,640
Oh, man.
What — What happened?

477
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,183
Don't worry about it, Morty.

478
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,601
Listen, if you wanted to try
to get a piece,

479
00:18:55,676 --> 00:18:58,304
you better hurry up.
Now's your last chance.

480
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:00,310
Hey, hey, Arthrisha,
urn, maybe I could —

481
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,312
Uh, I have a boyfriend.

482
00:19:02,391 --> 00:19:03,734
- Okay.
- I'm not trying to be rude.

483
00:19:03,809 --> 00:19:05,231
I just —
I don't want to lead you on.

484
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,154
I-I-I understand.

485
00:19:07,229 --> 00:19:09,698
I mean, thank you so much
for helping end the festival,

486
00:19:09,774 --> 00:19:12,573
but I have a boyfriend,
and, uh, he's just —

487
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,279
Okay, okay,
you can stop saying it.

488
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:15,534
I took it okay the first time,

489
00:19:15,613 --> 00:19:17,206
and now you're just
repeating stuff.

490
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:19,033
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- It's okay.

491
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:22,370
Oh, you're so sweet, I just —
Oh, but I can't.

492
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:23,921
Yeah, you're still doing it.

493
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,626
It won't be easy creating a new
society from the ground up.

494
00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:31,053
Well, a helpful rule might be if
you need something, you get it.

495
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,801
- Pretty simple, right?
- I need food.

496
00:19:33,047 --> 00:19:35,641
- Who's got food for that guy?
- I do, but this is for me.

497
00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:36,968
Can't you make some more?

498
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:39,520
Oh, sure. And while
I'm making food for everyone,

499
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:41,518
who takes care of my kids?

500
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:45,522
I'll take care of your kids,
if I get some extra food for it.

501
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,023
Extra food?

502
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,856
Well, I'm not gonna do extra
work if we all get the same.

503
00:19:50,106 --> 00:19:51,528
All right, okay, fair is fair.

504
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:53,405
If you do extra work,
you get extra food.

505
00:19:53,484 --> 00:19:55,282
Oh.

506
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,613
Who's gonna keep track

507
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,040
of who gets how much food
for how much work?

508
00:19:59,115 --> 00:20:00,662
Hello. I can do that.

509
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:02,493
I'll keep track
of everyone's food,

510
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,249
you know, in exchange for food.

511
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:05,750
That's not a real job!

512
00:20:05,830 --> 00:20:07,832
Oh, and making food is?

513
00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:10,259
You son of a bitch!

514
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,551
Eat this!

515
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,841
Guys, guys, guys, guys,
whoa, whoa.

516
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:18,426
Cool it, now.
Take it easy.

517
00:20:18,509 --> 00:20:20,728
There's too much
aggression here.

518
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:22,851
What if we designate
a period of time

519
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:26,104
during which we can all
get this hate, murder,

520
00:20:26,183 --> 00:20:29,027
and rage out of our system —

521
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,571
I can't help but feel ashamed

522
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:32,239
about what I did
back there, Rick.

523
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,487
I guess you were right. I've got
a lot of repressed stuff

524
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,569
I need to deal with.
- Don't worry about it, Morty.

525
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:38,370
Remember
those candy bars earlier...

526
00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:40,574
that we got in the first act?
- Yeah, what about them?

527
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,829
Turns out they have a chemical
in them called purgenol

528
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,751
that amplifies
all your violent tendencies.

529
00:20:44,827 --> 00:20:47,000
Oh, boy. Whew!
Thank goodness for that, huh?

530
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,251
That's a relief.

531
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,456
Yep. Don't even sweat.

532
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:50,757
You're still the same old Morty.

533
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,757
Your character's
totally protected.

534
00:21:28,788 --> 00:21:30,631
And there's the approach.

535
00:21:30,706 --> 00:21:32,879
Jerry, what is
"Taddi Mason LLC,"

536
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,052
and why is our phone bill $700?

537
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:36,720
- Uh...
- Hey, are you bored...

538
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:38,218
- Uh...
- ... lonely,

539
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,719
just looking for a friend?

540
00:21:39,799 --> 00:21:41,301
Call me, Taddi Mason.

541
00:21:41,383 --> 00:21:42,885
It's only $1.99 a minute
to talk.

542
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,641
- Uh...
- Sign up today,

543
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,597
and I'll even call you
on a regular basis...

544
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,057
- Uh...
- ... for just $1.99 a minute.

545
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,393
That's a steal
because I'm a great pal.

546
00:21:50,476 --> 00:21:52,899
We could talk
about sports or barbecue.

547
00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,903
Jerry, get a job.

548
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,404
Oh, my god!

549
00:21:58,484 --> 00:21:59,906
Did you get any of that?

550
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,953
It's-a good-a show!

551
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:12,000
Ripped By mstoll