1
00:00:06,904 --> 00:00:08,622
Yeah, Morty.

2
00:00:14,161 --> 00:00:16,334
- It's my favorite song.
- Oh, yeah.

3
00:00:16,413 --> 00:00:19,633
Oh, yeah, distress beacon!

4
00:00:19,708 --> 00:00:20,880
Yeah, baby!

5
00:00:20,959 --> 00:00:22,336
You're excited about that?

6
00:00:22,419 --> 00:00:23,841
The first rule
of space travel, kids,

7
00:00:23,921 --> 00:00:25,673
is always check out
distress beacons.

8
00:00:25,756 --> 00:00:27,758
9 out of 10 times,
it's a ship full of dead aliens

9
00:00:27,841 --> 00:00:29,593
and a bunch of free shit!

10
00:00:29,676 --> 00:00:31,770
- Whoa!
- 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap,

11
00:00:31,845 --> 00:00:33,939
but I'm ready
to roll those dice.

12
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:43,691
Seems like something
terrible happened here.

13
00:00:43,774 --> 00:00:45,026
Yep. Cha-ching.

14
00:00:45,108 --> 00:00:47,361
Oh, yeah, if you find
a room full of eggs,

15
00:00:47,444 --> 00:00:48,661
don't shy away from it.

16
00:00:48,737 --> 00:00:50,114
Give one of them a shake.

17
00:00:50,197 --> 00:00:51,915
Those facehuggers
are worth more than this ship.

18
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:53,082
- Uh, what's that?

19
00:00:53,158 --> 00:00:54,125
This'll make the cops
write it up

20
00:00:54,201 --> 00:00:55,498
as a looting by the Korblocks.

21
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:56,544
That's horrible.

22
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:58,793
I hear you, man.
Cops are racist.

23
00:00:58,872 --> 00:01:01,751
Oh, hey. You're alive.
Thank god.

24
00:01:01,833 --> 00:01:03,380
Can you help us?

25
00:01:03,460 --> 00:01:06,088
Our planet was taken over
by some kind of... entity.

26
00:01:06,171 --> 00:01:07,923
It absorbed
the minds of our people.

27
00:01:08,006 --> 00:01:09,758
We didn't notice
until it was too late.

28
00:01:09,841 --> 00:01:10,967
The people it takes over,

29
00:01:11,051 --> 00:01:12,473
they — they look
like your friends,

30
00:01:12,553 --> 00:01:13,725
your family, your leaders,

31
00:01:13,804 --> 00:01:16,683
but they're not
themselves anymore.

32
00:01:16,765 --> 00:01:19,063
They're part of... it.

33
00:01:19,142 --> 00:01:21,395
Then how do you know it didn't
get on the ship with you?

34
00:01:21,478 --> 00:01:23,697
Those two dingdongs seem pretty
calm about the whole thing.

35
00:01:25,482 --> 00:01:27,029
Hey, no!
No, wait! Stop!

36
00:01:28,860 --> 00:01:29,827
Called it.

37
00:01:32,155 --> 00:01:33,577
Hello, Rick.

38
00:01:33,657 --> 00:01:34,874
Long time no see.

39
00:01:34,950 --> 00:01:35,826
Unity?

40
00:01:35,909 --> 00:01:36,910
- Rick?
- Grandpa?

41
00:01:36,994 --> 00:01:38,416
Oh, boy. Uh...

42
00:01:38,495 --> 00:01:39,838
these are my grandkids,
Summer and Morty.

43
00:01:39,913 --> 00:01:42,132
Summer, Morty,
this is, uh, Unity.

44
00:01:42,207 --> 00:01:45,256
We sort of used to,
uh... date.

45
00:01:46,980 --> 00:01:52,980
Ripped By mstoll

46
00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,073
Quite an operation
you got going here, Une.

47
00:02:10,152 --> 00:02:11,620
You're a whole planet now, huh?

48
00:02:11,695 --> 00:02:12,912
After we broke up,

49
00:02:12,988 --> 00:02:14,831
I spent some time
wandering through space.

50
00:02:14,906 --> 00:02:17,204
- Then I found this world...
- ... where I was better able

51
00:02:17,284 --> 00:02:19,878
to focus on my passion
for unification.

52
00:02:19,953 --> 00:02:21,455
You mean
stealing people's bodies?

53
00:02:21,538 --> 00:02:22,881
Summer, rude.

54
00:02:22,956 --> 00:02:24,958
Why don't you two kids
go run off and play with Unity

55
00:02:25,042 --> 00:02:26,794
while Unity and I
do some catching up.

56
00:02:26,877 --> 00:02:28,379
Ugh.
No, wait, Rick,

57
00:02:28,462 --> 00:02:30,715
aren't these people gonna barf
into our mouths and absorb us?

58
00:02:30,797 --> 00:02:32,140
You're guests here on my planet.

59
00:02:32,215 --> 00:02:33,637
You're free to be yourselves.

60
00:02:33,717 --> 00:02:35,845
I've never been any good
at disappointing Rick.

61
00:02:35,927 --> 00:02:37,144
Well, now I'm going to barf.

62
00:02:37,220 --> 00:02:38,893
Come on, Morty.

63
00:02:43,268 --> 00:02:44,861
Jerry, what are you —
What are you doing in here?

64
00:02:44,936 --> 00:02:47,735
I'm trying to find
our weed whacker,

65
00:02:47,814 --> 00:02:50,363
'cause our weeds are wack, yo.

66
00:02:50,442 --> 00:02:52,240
But you can't go in the garage
when Rick's not here.

67
00:02:52,319 --> 00:02:53,662
I "can't"?

68
00:02:53,737 --> 00:02:55,330
- Well, he doesn't like it.
- What's he gonna do?

69
00:02:55,405 --> 00:02:57,954
Crash rent-free
at his other family's house?

70
00:02:58,033 --> 00:02:59,034
What is that
supposed to mean?

71
00:02:59,117 --> 00:03:00,869
Your dad gets to walk
all over us

72
00:03:00,952 --> 00:03:03,080
because of
your abandonment issues.

73
00:03:03,163 --> 00:03:04,836
He's playing you, shorty.

74
00:03:04,915 --> 00:03:06,792
Oh, stop affecting
that stupid hip-hop dialect.

75
00:03:06,875 --> 00:03:09,845
Stop shifting the cross hairs
to my ironic urban patois

76
00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,797
just because your relationship
with your father

77
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:13,678
is to' up from the flo' up.

78
00:03:15,592 --> 00:03:17,139
What the hell was that?

79
00:03:17,219 --> 00:03:18,220
I don't know.
Let's just leave.

80
00:03:21,181 --> 00:03:22,353
That is a hatch.

81
00:03:22,432 --> 00:03:24,685
Your father put a hatch
in my garage.

82
00:03:24,768 --> 00:03:26,111
You don't know it was him.

83
00:03:26,186 --> 00:03:27,938
Anyway, we're not
supposed to be in here.

84
00:03:28,021 --> 00:03:31,195
Obviously, neither is whatever's
gurgling down there.

85
00:03:35,070 --> 00:03:37,368
"World peace achieved."
Nice.

86
00:03:37,447 --> 00:03:39,120
Little weird to publish
a paper about it

87
00:03:39,199 --> 00:03:40,075
for yourself, but hey.

88
00:03:40,158 --> 00:03:41,330
So, what's next?

89
00:03:41,410 --> 00:03:43,333
After I become
a type-one civilization,

90
00:03:43,412 --> 00:03:47,042
this world will be invited
into the Galactic Federation.

91
00:03:47,124 --> 00:03:48,125
Oh, goody.

92
00:03:48,208 --> 00:03:49,175
From there, I'll have access to

93
00:03:49,251 --> 00:03:51,049
countless planets and species.

94
00:03:51,128 --> 00:03:52,971
One by one, I will unify them,

95
00:03:53,046 --> 00:03:54,263
I will become the universe,

96
00:03:54,339 --> 00:03:56,262
and I will be what
the single-minded

97
00:03:56,341 --> 00:03:57,308
once called a god.

98
00:03:57,384 --> 00:03:58,806
I like that.

99
00:03:58,885 --> 00:04:00,387
Oh, that's pretty sexy.

100
00:04:00,470 --> 00:04:02,347
Hey, listen, where can we get
a drink around here?

101
00:04:02,431 --> 00:04:04,729
Recreational substances
were phased out here.

102
00:04:04,808 --> 00:04:06,902
There's no need
for escape from the self

103
00:04:06,977 --> 00:04:08,149
when your world is one.

104
00:04:08,228 --> 00:04:09,775
Unity, Unity,
who am I talking to?

105
00:04:09,855 --> 00:04:11,949
I watched you assimilate
a whole police station

106
00:04:12,023 --> 00:04:14,117
just to get your hands on
the evidence locker.

107
00:04:14,192 --> 00:04:16,695
Rick, when we met,
I was a young hive mind

108
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:19,577
with the population
of a small town.

109
00:04:19,656 --> 00:04:20,748
People change...

110
00:04:20,824 --> 00:04:21,996
Especially when I change them.

111
00:04:22,075 --> 00:04:23,327
I'm sorry to disappoint you,

112
00:04:23,410 --> 00:04:25,003
but I've grown.

113
00:04:25,078 --> 00:04:27,001
Hey, listen, I've grown, too.

114
00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:28,753
I have!

115
00:04:28,832 --> 00:04:30,459
See, I've — I've reconnected
with my family, right?

116
00:04:30,542 --> 00:04:32,044
Hm.
Why's that, I wonder?

117
00:04:32,127 --> 00:04:33,845
Maybe it's part of getting old.

118
00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:37,641
Maybe I just missed
being with a collective.

119
00:04:39,134 --> 00:04:40,727
Yes, Rick. Yes.

120
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,270
- Oh, yeah.
- Yes. Yes.

121
00:04:42,345 --> 00:04:44,313
Wait, wait. Stop.
Hold it.

122
00:04:44,389 --> 00:04:46,016
Not like this.

123
00:04:46,099 --> 00:04:47,021
We need a hang glider

124
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,352
and a crotchless
Uncle Sam costume,

125
00:04:48,435 --> 00:04:50,688
and I want the entire field
of your largest stadium

126
00:04:50,771 --> 00:04:52,398
covered end to end
with naked redheads,

127
00:04:52,481 --> 00:04:53,949
and I want the stands packed

128
00:04:54,024 --> 00:04:56,402
with every man that remotely
resembles my father.

129
00:05:02,532 --> 00:05:04,330
Man, look at them go.
So coordinated.

130
00:05:04,409 --> 00:05:06,832
What's your problem?

131
00:05:06,912 --> 00:05:08,505
They're making you into
a Mount Rushmore.

132
00:05:08,580 --> 00:05:09,797
They made burgers!

133
00:05:09,873 --> 00:05:11,045
Morty, open your eyes.

134
00:05:11,124 --> 00:05:12,467
There is no "They."

135
00:05:12,542 --> 00:05:14,920
These poor people's bodies
are being used.

136
00:05:15,003 --> 00:05:16,095
They're a planet of puppets.

137
00:05:16,171 --> 00:05:17,798
- I can hear you.
- Ugh.

138
00:05:17,881 --> 00:05:20,350
Well, it seems like
everybody here's cool with it.

139
00:05:20,425 --> 00:05:21,802
Except for all those redheads.

140
00:05:21,885 --> 00:05:23,182
They seem like
they're in a hurry

141
00:05:23,261 --> 00:05:24,353
to be somewhere else.

142
00:05:24,429 --> 00:05:26,523
Balloon, Summer?
Balloon, Morty?

143
00:05:26,598 --> 00:05:28,521
No, we don't want
your dumb balloons, okay?

144
00:05:28,600 --> 00:05:30,227
We're bored.
Take us back to Rick.

145
00:05:30,310 --> 00:05:32,062
Now's not a good time.

146
00:05:33,021 --> 00:05:34,944
Oh, yeah!

147
00:05:35,023 --> 00:05:37,867
I want yooooooou!

148
00:05:37,943 --> 00:05:39,115
Go, son, go!

149
00:05:39,194 --> 00:05:42,368
Go, son, go!
Go, son, go!

150
00:05:42,447 --> 00:05:45,997
Oh, real nice.
Real nice.

151
00:05:46,076 --> 00:05:47,953
How does a man do this
without me noticing?

152
00:05:48,036 --> 00:05:49,083
Oh, you know my dad

153
00:05:49,162 --> 00:05:50,334
once he puts his mind
to something.

154
00:05:50,413 --> 00:05:52,006
You're spinning this
to his credit?

155
00:05:54,626 --> 00:05:55,468
I'm going down there.

156
00:05:55,544 --> 00:05:57,171
- Jerry —
- Beth, this is my house,

157
00:05:57,254 --> 00:05:59,382
which makes this my garage,
my secret hatch,

158
00:05:59,464 --> 00:06:02,968
my hidden subterranean lair,
and my faceless gargler.

159
00:06:03,051 --> 00:06:04,724
Now, are you gonna keep
hating this playa

160
00:06:04,803 --> 00:06:06,476
or are you gonna jack my steez?

161
00:06:06,555 --> 00:06:08,478
Okay, you're just
making stuff up now.

162
00:06:08,557 --> 00:06:10,434
Ugh. Oh, my god.

163
00:06:10,517 --> 00:06:11,814
Oh, my god.

164
00:06:11,893 --> 00:06:13,520
Ugh!

165
00:06:13,603 --> 00:06:16,197
Oh, Rick.
That was so bad.

166
00:06:16,273 --> 00:06:17,320
What's this "was" stuff?

167
00:06:17,399 --> 00:06:18,696
I just need to hydrate,

168
00:06:18,775 --> 00:06:21,073
Then we're doing that again.

169
00:06:21,152 --> 00:06:22,870
- Oh, damn.
- Listen, if this is an invasion,

170
00:06:22,946 --> 00:06:24,198
I got to sit this one out,

171
00:06:24,281 --> 00:06:26,158
but I'll be back to have sex
with the survivors.

172
00:06:26,241 --> 00:06:27,959
It's a neighboring
hive-mind species,

173
00:06:28,034 --> 00:06:29,081
Beta Seven.

174
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,958
Our planets maintain
a practical alliance

175
00:06:31,037 --> 00:06:32,664
for exchange of vital resources,

176
00:06:32,747 --> 00:06:34,420
so be nice.

177
00:06:34,499 --> 00:06:35,500
Unity,

178
00:06:37,043 --> 00:06:38,670
is it a bad time?

179
00:06:38,753 --> 00:06:42,724
Are all present life forms
assimilated?

180
00:06:42,799 --> 00:06:45,552
Beta Seven,
this is my single-minded friend

181
00:06:45,635 --> 00:06:46,727
from Earth, Rick.

182
00:06:46,803 --> 00:06:48,805
Rick Sanchez.

183
00:06:49,431 --> 00:06:50,557
Unity has spoken of you.

184
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,358
All bad, I hope.
Ha ha!

185
00:06:52,434 --> 00:06:53,651
Bleeeeeeeeeh!

186
00:06:53,727 --> 00:06:55,024
Oh, Jesus Christ.

187
00:06:55,103 --> 00:06:57,697
Beta Seven, if my allies
are a problem for you,

188
00:06:57,772 --> 00:06:59,649
perhaps our alliance is,
as well.

189
00:06:59,733 --> 00:07:01,360
Our alliance is beneficial.

190
00:07:01,443 --> 00:07:03,411
When Beta Seven
expresses concern,

191
00:07:03,486 --> 00:07:05,033
it — it's only
be-because —

192
00:07:05,113 --> 00:07:07,662
Oh, snap!
Powdered neutronium?

193
00:07:07,741 --> 00:07:08,742
Amphetetron?

194
00:07:09,117 --> 00:07:10,585
You know I can make
with this stuff?

195
00:07:10,660 --> 00:07:12,833
Oh, Rick,
I — I shouldn't.

196
00:07:12,913 --> 00:07:14,915
Come on. It's not every day
that I'm town.

197
00:07:14,998 --> 00:07:16,671
It's —
It's for old time's sake.

198
00:07:16,750 --> 00:07:19,048
Uh... Okay, what the hell.

199
00:07:19,127 --> 00:07:21,926
We can purify the resin
and make fractal dust.

200
00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:24,508
Oh, I was thinking
velocitinis, but —

201
00:07:24,591 --> 00:07:27,515
Aw, old man Rick can't party
with a whole planet?

202
00:07:29,429 --> 00:07:32,649
I can do whatever
you do and more, baby.

203
00:07:34,559 --> 00:07:36,687
You know, I think
Beta Seven over there

204
00:07:36,770 --> 00:07:38,989
is hoping your alliance
can be more than practical.

205
00:07:39,064 --> 00:07:40,611
Stop.

206
00:07:44,653 --> 00:07:48,578
Well, this explains
the $6,000 electric bill.

207
00:07:50,075 --> 00:07:51,076
Whoa!

208
00:07:53,662 --> 00:07:56,791
Well, nice. Real nice.

209
00:07:56,873 --> 00:07:58,591
Alien prisoners under the house.

210
00:07:58,667 --> 00:08:00,044
Real nice.

211
00:08:00,126 --> 00:08:02,128
Nice.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeal —

212
00:08:02,921 --> 00:08:04,389
God damn it, stop.

213
00:08:04,464 --> 00:08:07,434
Wake up, people!
You have to fight it!

214
00:08:07,509 --> 00:08:09,932
You're under the spell
of an evil monster!

215
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:12,764
- I can hear you.
- Yeah, so you keep saying.

216
00:08:14,182 --> 00:08:15,900
- Summer!
- Wake up!

217
00:08:15,976 --> 00:08:18,104
You have to have some
individuality left in there!

218
00:08:18,186 --> 00:08:19,483
Why do you hate me, Summer?

219
00:08:19,562 --> 00:08:21,064
I'm not talking to you.

220
00:08:21,147 --> 00:08:23,570
I'm talking to...
Steven Phillips.

221
00:08:23,650 --> 00:08:26,153
Steven, set yourself free.

222
00:08:26,236 --> 00:08:28,534
Summer, before I took
over this planet,

223
00:08:28,613 --> 00:08:31,116
this man was
a registered sex offender.

224
00:08:31,199 --> 00:08:33,873
Yeah? Well, so what?
At least he was himself.

225
00:08:33,952 --> 00:08:36,922
This woman was a drug addict
on the verge of suicide.

226
00:08:36,997 --> 00:08:38,840
Now she's a marine biologist.

227
00:08:38,915 --> 00:08:40,838
Listen, Unity, I don't think
my sister's trying to say

228
00:08:40,917 --> 00:08:42,214
that life would be perfect
without you.

229
00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:43,920
I think she's just saying
that life would be,

230
00:08:44,004 --> 00:08:45,256
you know, life.

231
00:08:45,338 --> 00:08:48,091
I have transformed life
here into a paradise.

232
00:08:48,174 --> 00:08:50,142
Prostitutes are now scientists.

233
00:08:50,218 --> 00:08:52,391
The homeless
are now "Phisosophers."

234
00:08:52,470 --> 00:08:54,143
Oh. Oh.
"Ph-phisosophers"? Nice.

235
00:08:54,222 --> 00:08:56,316
- Philopol... Phiphophopher...
- Oh, my god.

236
00:08:56,391 --> 00:08:58,268
Where did you learn to talk,
you grandpa-stealing slut?

237
00:08:58,351 --> 00:09:00,353
I'm feeling...

238
00:09:02,355 --> 00:09:03,356
Ugh.

239
00:09:04,065 --> 00:09:05,658
Oh, man, let me help
all of you guys up.

240
00:09:05,734 --> 00:09:07,702
I'm fine.

241
00:09:11,614 --> 00:09:13,992
Do you know
what I love about you, Rick?

242
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:15,952
You're the only single mind
I've met

243
00:09:16,036 --> 00:09:17,583
that really sees
the big picture.

244
00:09:17,662 --> 00:09:19,005
You got that right.

245
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,582
But, baby, listen —

246
00:09:20,665 --> 00:09:23,088
Y-you're talking about taking
over planets and galaxies.

247
00:09:23,168 --> 00:09:24,545
You got to —
Got to just remember

248
00:09:24,627 --> 00:09:26,049
to let go sometimes, you know?

249
00:09:26,129 --> 00:09:27,176
I can let go.
Hey, look.

250
00:09:27,255 --> 00:09:28,598
You see that town
across the river?

251
00:09:28,673 --> 00:09:30,141
Watch this.

252
00:09:30,550 --> 00:09:32,473
- Whoa!
- Ha ha! Whoo!

253
00:09:32,552 --> 00:09:34,054
Whoa!
That's not what I meant!

254
00:09:34,137 --> 00:09:36,515
It's okay. It's okay.

255
00:09:36,598 --> 00:09:39,477
I evacuated.
I evacuated the town. Look.

256
00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,312
Hey! We're right here. We're fine.

257
00:09:46,483 --> 00:09:50,033
Oh, that was awesome.

258
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:52,239
My — my grandkids
weren't in that town, right?

259
00:09:52,322 --> 00:09:54,199
A-are my grandkids alive?

260
00:09:54,282 --> 00:09:56,330
M-my drink is empty.

261
00:10:12,842 --> 00:10:16,096
- Unity, what's happening?
- Who's Unity?

262
00:10:16,179 --> 00:10:18,728
You kids have nice feet.
Mind if I take a picture?

263
00:10:18,807 --> 00:10:21,356
- Gross. No.

264
00:10:21,434 --> 00:10:23,653
I think you're getting
what you wanted, Summer.

265
00:10:23,728 --> 00:10:25,696
Something's happening to Unity.

266
00:10:25,772 --> 00:10:28,491
Do all of you remember
who you are?

267
00:10:28,566 --> 00:10:31,035
Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson.

268
00:10:31,111 --> 00:10:33,990
I'm an electrical engineer,
father of two,

269
00:10:34,072 --> 00:10:37,667
and, as you can see from my
flat, concentric nipple rings,

270
00:10:37,742 --> 00:10:40,211
I'm a member of
this planet's top race!

271
00:10:40,286 --> 00:10:41,959
Okay, that's good.

272
00:10:42,038 --> 00:10:44,416
Uh, don't focus too much
on the last part, but —

273
00:10:44,499 --> 00:10:47,378
I'm Daryl Jefferson.
I'm a landscaper.

274
00:10:47,460 --> 00:10:49,007
And I'll be damned if

275
00:10:49,087 --> 00:10:51,385
that ripple-nipple bitch's
race is superior!

276
00:10:51,464 --> 00:10:53,387
The cone-nipple people
will rule this world!

277
00:10:53,466 --> 00:10:55,844
You shut your mouth,
you dirty knife-nipple bastards.

278
00:10:55,927 --> 00:10:56,974
What'd you say to me,

279
00:10:57,053 --> 00:10:59,181
you target-chest
piece of shit.

280
00:10:59,264 --> 00:11:01,016
Race war!

281
00:11:07,939 --> 00:11:08,940
Ugh!

282
00:11:11,484 --> 00:11:12,701
Why are you fighting?

283
00:11:12,777 --> 00:11:14,996
Can't you see
you're all the same?

284
00:11:15,071 --> 00:11:16,493
Oh, Summer.

285
00:11:16,573 --> 00:11:17,995
First race war, huh?

286
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,207
Way to go, Summer.
You started a race war.

287
00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:28,885
I didn't start it!
They're the racists.

288
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,212
I — I merely
empowered them

289
00:11:30,295 --> 00:11:32,172
to follow their apparently
misguided dreams.

290
00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:33,757
Okay, thanks for clarifying.

291
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:35,717
I'll have a super-accurate
headstone now.

292
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:37,017
Hey, wait —
What race are you guys?

293
00:11:37,093 --> 00:11:38,185
We're neither. S-see?

294
00:11:38,261 --> 00:11:39,888
Yeah, take my word for it.

295
00:11:39,971 --> 00:11:41,689
We just have regular nipples.

296
00:11:41,764 --> 00:11:44,108
Hey, these two freaks
have no race!

297
00:11:50,273 --> 00:11:51,820
Oh, there's no place like home.

298
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:53,447
There's no place like home.
Remember, Summer?

299
00:11:53,526 --> 00:11:55,028
From Dorothy
and the tiny people movie?

300
00:11:55,111 --> 00:11:56,237
Yes, yes.

301
00:11:56,321 --> 00:11:58,198
- All the tiny people.
- Dorothy, take us away.

302
00:12:05,580 --> 00:12:07,582
Hello, Summer.
Hello, Morty.

303
00:12:07,665 --> 00:12:10,168
- It's okay. You're safe now.
- Unity?

304
00:12:10,251 --> 00:12:13,380
- Yes.
- Oh, Unity, I am so sorry.

305
00:12:13,463 --> 00:12:16,182
I didn't know freedom meant
people doing stuff that sucks.

306
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:17,679
I was thinking more Of

307
00:12:17,759 --> 00:12:19,602
a choose your own
cellphone-carrier thing.

308
00:12:19,677 --> 00:12:21,054
Oh, Summer,
you did nothing wrong.

309
00:12:21,137 --> 00:12:22,764
I'm having fun
with your grandpa.

310
00:12:22,847 --> 00:12:24,064
Lost a little control.

311
00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:26,313
Probably shouldn't be
piloting a hovercopter,

312
00:12:26,392 --> 00:12:29,145
nor should I be running
200,000 pediatric hospitals

313
00:12:29,229 --> 00:12:30,651
and 12 million deep fryers,

314
00:12:30,730 --> 00:12:32,027
but hey,
it's not like this planet

315
00:12:32,106 --> 00:12:33,528
can take its business elsewhere.

316
00:12:33,608 --> 00:12:35,485
Um, should we maybe
stop somewhere

317
00:12:35,568 --> 00:12:36,945
and get you a coffee?

318
00:12:37,028 --> 00:12:38,996
Maybe splash a little water
on your face, or...

319
00:12:39,072 --> 00:12:40,915
No, no, if I wanted to be sober,

320
00:12:40,990 --> 00:12:42,708
I wouldn't have gotten drunk.

321
00:12:42,784 --> 00:12:43,785
Whoo-hoo-hoo!

322
00:12:47,872 --> 00:12:49,499
Oh, man.
I cannot wait —

323
00:12:49,582 --> 00:12:52,631
I cannot wait to hear Rick
explain his way around this.

324
00:12:52,710 --> 00:12:53,962
He is gone.

325
00:12:54,045 --> 00:12:55,262
Jerry.
Stop, please, okay?

326
00:12:55,338 --> 00:12:56,840
We weren't even
supposed to be down here.

327
00:12:56,923 --> 00:12:58,140
If we confront him
about this —

328
00:12:58,216 --> 00:12:59,763
Oh, my god!
I love this.

329
00:12:59,842 --> 00:13:02,265
I love that this is
how far you will go for him.

330
00:13:02,345 --> 00:13:04,643
You want to go upstairs
and cut carrots

331
00:13:04,722 --> 00:13:06,269
and watch a Lifetime original

332
00:13:06,349 --> 00:13:08,852
above a fucking alien dungeon!

333
00:13:08,935 --> 00:13:11,779
Your relationship with
your father is psychotic.

334
00:13:11,854 --> 00:13:13,276
Oh, listen to you
relish the idea

335
00:13:13,356 --> 00:13:15,154
that my genius father
is a bad person.

336
00:13:15,233 --> 00:13:16,860
Step out of your ego
for a second

337
00:13:16,943 --> 00:13:18,820
and look at this thing —
It's a monster.

338
00:13:18,903 --> 00:13:20,155
He might have it chained up

339
00:13:20,238 --> 00:13:21,740
so that it doesn't
eat the planet!

340
00:13:21,823 --> 00:13:23,996
Right, because your father's
such an altruist?

341
00:13:24,075 --> 00:13:27,670
I once saw him briefly
forget the word for "Humans."

342
00:13:27,745 --> 00:13:29,873
He's probably harvesting
this creature's organs.

343
00:13:29,956 --> 00:13:31,879
He's probably racing
to cure its space AIDS.

344
00:13:31,958 --> 00:13:33,175
- He's going to eat it!
- He's protecting it!

345
00:13:34,168 --> 00:13:35,636
Shut up!

346
00:13:37,046 --> 00:13:39,048
Whoa!

347
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,967
Unity, this place is a mess.

348
00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:42,176
Oh, it's cool.

349
00:13:42,260 --> 00:13:43,227
The part of me
that's the cleaning lady

350
00:13:43,303 --> 00:13:44,646
is coming on Friday.

351
00:13:44,721 --> 00:13:46,314
Oh, my god. I have a meeting

352
00:13:46,389 --> 00:13:48,232
at the Galactic Federation
in an hour.

353
00:13:48,308 --> 00:13:49,309
Oh, I'll never make it.

354
00:13:49,392 --> 00:13:50,939
Ah, I'll push it to next week.

355
00:13:51,019 --> 00:13:52,987
Unity, could you get Rick
out here, please?

356
00:13:53,062 --> 00:13:54,609
He's unavailable.
He's...

357
00:13:54,689 --> 00:13:56,316
having sex with you.
We get it. Gross.

358
00:13:56,399 --> 00:13:57,651
Get him out here now.

359
00:13:57,734 --> 00:13:58,781
I don't think
he wants to be —

360
00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:01,033
- Grandpa Rick!
- Rick! Rick!

361
00:14:01,112 --> 00:14:02,830
I'm gonna tell mom and dad
about the gagoo

362
00:14:02,905 --> 00:14:04,248
you have locked up
under the garage!

363
00:14:04,324 --> 00:14:06,873
What the hell is your problem?

364
00:14:06,951 --> 00:14:08,919
Grandpa,
we need to go home, now.

365
00:14:08,995 --> 00:14:10,793
Fine. Sheesh.

366
00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:14,884
See you.

367
00:14:14,959 --> 00:14:16,677
Uh, Rick,
I think we should all go.

368
00:14:16,753 --> 00:14:18,972
Tend to your garden, kids.
I'm kind of doing a thing here.

369
00:14:19,047 --> 00:14:21,141
Whoo!

370
00:14:21,215 --> 00:14:23,058
Grandpa Rick,
we're not leaving without you.

371
00:14:23,134 --> 00:14:25,057
Oh, my god, you guys.
I get it.

372
00:14:25,136 --> 00:14:27,230
You're afraid
the big, bad hive mind

373
00:14:27,305 --> 00:14:29,353
is gonna steal
your grandpa away.

374
00:14:29,432 --> 00:14:30,934
Actually, no.
I think Unity's great

375
00:14:31,017 --> 00:14:32,690
and you're
a horrible influence on it.

376
00:14:32,769 --> 00:14:34,362
- What?
- This isn't healthy, Rick.

377
00:14:34,437 --> 00:14:36,986
You know, you're —
You're really up to no good

378
00:14:37,065 --> 00:14:39,067
around here a-at
this place, you know?

379
00:14:39,150 --> 00:14:40,322
You and Unity are like —

380
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:42,074
Like leggings
and mid-calf boots.

381
00:14:42,153 --> 00:14:43,746
You think you're great together,

382
00:14:43,821 --> 00:14:46,119
but you're just bringing out
the worst in each other.

383
00:14:46,199 --> 00:14:48,748
Oh, gee.
Boy, Summer. Well put.

384
00:14:48,826 --> 00:14:50,624
Uh, why don't we see
what Unity thinks?

385
00:14:50,703 --> 00:14:51,704
Unity?

386
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,753
I'm just taking
a little break from stuff.

387
00:14:53,831 --> 00:14:55,799
You know?
I need to relax.

388
00:14:55,875 --> 00:14:57,923
Oh, hey, w-what's this
on the news, guys?

389
00:14:58,002 --> 00:14:59,128
I-I-let me turn it up.

390
00:14:59,212 --> 00:15:00,634
In the news today,

391
00:15:00,713 --> 00:15:02,306
this looks
a lot worse than it is.

392
00:15:02,382 --> 00:15:04,009
We're really just
having a good time.

393
00:15:04,092 --> 00:15:05,435
Karen?
Thanks, Todd.

394
00:15:05,510 --> 00:15:07,353
Up next, are you
a concerned grandchild

395
00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:09,021
or just a buzzkill?

396
00:15:09,097 --> 00:15:10,940
We'll tell you
how you can know for sure.

397
00:15:11,015 --> 00:15:12,938
I think you two
are a little outnumbered.

398
00:15:13,017 --> 00:15:15,111
Okay, well, what if
you did it for me?

399
00:15:15,186 --> 00:15:17,359
What if you came with us
as a favor to us

400
00:15:17,438 --> 00:15:19,065
because you love us?

401
00:15:19,148 --> 00:15:20,821
What? Dumb. Bye.

402
00:15:20,900 --> 00:15:22,243
But Rick,
Summer's just —

403
00:15:22,318 --> 00:15:24,070
Summer's just a hyper-emotional,
needy little —

404
00:15:24,153 --> 00:15:25,405
What's the word
I'm looking for here?

405
00:15:25,488 --> 00:15:26,489
Uh... human.

406
00:15:27,073 --> 00:15:28,074
It runs in the family.

407
00:15:28,157 --> 00:15:29,249
I can tolerate it,

408
00:15:29,325 --> 00:15:30,497
but I can't
give a crap about it.

409
00:15:30,576 --> 00:15:32,078
Take a hike.

410
00:15:32,161 --> 00:15:35,085
Take care of yourself, Unity.

411
00:15:38,209 --> 00:15:40,428
I'm not looking for judgment,
just a yes or no —

412
00:15:40,503 --> 00:15:42,380
Can you assimilate a giraffe?

413
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:43,259
You're the worst!

414
00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:46,092
No, you're the worst!
You don't support this family!

415
00:15:46,175 --> 00:15:47,552
All you care about is yourself!

416
00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:48,852
You think supporting the family
is about supporting you emotionally...

417
00:15:48,928 --> 00:15:50,475
you've got two children
being dragged across the cosmos

418
00:15:50,555 --> 00:15:51,898
because it's never
enough, Jerry!

419
00:15:51,973 --> 00:15:53,099
by your dangerously
ill father!

420
00:15:53,182 --> 00:15:54,399
And you force me to
watch it happen...

421
00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:56,978
because you'd rather
lose them and lose me...

422
00:15:57,061 --> 00:15:58,438
it's like to be afraid
of losing anything

423
00:15:58,521 --> 00:15:59,522
- than lose him!
- Because you cling...

424
00:15:59,605 --> 00:16:00,572
And why? Because
you're the child, Beth!

425
00:16:00,648 --> 00:16:03,527
You, not me! You!

426
00:16:03,609 --> 00:16:05,156
- Aah!
- Aah!

427
00:16:05,236 --> 00:16:06,738
- Oh my god.
- Aah!

428
00:16:12,201 --> 00:16:14,329
Um, first of all, hello.

429
00:16:14,412 --> 00:16:16,506
Uh, my name is
Blim Blam the Korblok.

430
00:16:16,581 --> 00:16:18,379
Second of all,
cards on the table,

431
00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:20,176
I'm a murderer that eats babies,

432
00:16:20,251 --> 00:16:22,754
and I came to this planet
to eat babies.

433
00:16:22,837 --> 00:16:27,593
However, I am also carrying
a highly infectious disease

434
00:16:27,675 --> 00:16:30,975
that I suppose you could call
"Space AIDS" as you put it.

435
00:16:31,053 --> 00:16:32,179
And Rick did chain me up

436
00:16:32,263 --> 00:16:34,186
so that he could
attempt to cure it.

437
00:16:34,265 --> 00:16:36,313
At the same time,

438
00:16:36,392 --> 00:16:38,315
Rick's motivation
to cure my disease

439
00:16:38,394 --> 00:16:40,488
was not to save my life
or anyone else's,

440
00:16:40,563 --> 00:16:43,737
but to patent and sell the cure
for billions of blemflarcks.

441
00:16:43,816 --> 00:16:45,284
But you know the reason why

442
00:16:45,359 --> 00:16:47,327
I ripped my chains
out of the wall?

443
00:16:47,403 --> 00:16:50,202
And do you know why I'm never
coming back to this planet?

444
00:16:50,281 --> 00:16:54,161
Because the two of you
are the fucking worst!

445
00:16:54,243 --> 00:16:56,837
You both hate yourselves
and each other.

446
00:16:56,913 --> 00:16:59,166
And the idea that it has
anything to do with Rick

447
00:16:59,248 --> 00:17:00,795
is laughable.

448
00:17:00,875 --> 00:17:03,048
I'd laugh,
but I'm biologically incapable.

449
00:17:03,127 --> 00:17:04,845
That's how alien I am.

450
00:17:04,921 --> 00:17:07,299
And even I'm sitting here
listening to the two of you

451
00:17:07,381 --> 00:17:10,225
and being like, "What the fuck"!

452
00:17:10,301 --> 00:17:12,429
So good luck
with your shitty marriage,

453
00:17:12,512 --> 00:17:15,561
and tell Rick I'm sorry he has
to deal with either of you.

454
00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:18,018
Blim Blam out.

455
00:17:22,939 --> 00:17:25,362
You know what?
I'm taking this.

456
00:17:28,736 --> 00:17:31,535
How do you —
What is this?

457
00:17:34,158 --> 00:17:37,002
Uh, is there a slow setting?

458
00:17:37,078 --> 00:17:40,002
Best door ever.

459
00:17:47,421 --> 00:17:50,516
Okay, okay. Now make them cry,
but happy crying.

460
00:17:50,591 --> 00:17:52,810
Now make them all
make fun of the blonde one.

461
00:17:52,885 --> 00:17:54,262
Now make them all
do it on the table.

462
00:17:54,345 --> 00:17:56,518
I can't believe you created
a whole show for me.

463
00:17:56,597 --> 00:17:58,144
Now cancel it.

464
00:17:58,224 --> 00:17:59,271
Okay, now put it back on.

465
00:18:00,476 --> 00:18:01,944
All right, I'm bored.

466
00:18:02,019 --> 00:18:03,441
Rick, is there a way for you

467
00:18:03,521 --> 00:18:05,068
to call Summer and Morty?

468
00:18:05,147 --> 00:18:07,491
- I feel bad that they —
- Pbht. Screw those guys.

469
00:18:07,567 --> 00:18:09,990
Ugh.
I'll be right back.

470
00:18:10,069 --> 00:18:12,117
Don't waste your brain
on those weirdos, Unity.

471
00:18:12,196 --> 00:18:13,163
They're no different
from any of the aimless

472
00:18:13,239 --> 00:18:14,536
chumps that you occupy.

473
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,037
They just put you at
the center of their lives

474
00:18:16,117 --> 00:18:17,289
because you're powerful.

475
00:18:17,368 --> 00:18:18,870
And then because
they put you there,

476
00:18:18,953 --> 00:18:20,250
they want you
to be less powerful.

477
00:18:20,329 --> 00:18:21,330
Never gonna happen
though, right?

478
00:18:21,414 --> 00:18:22,506
Never.

479
00:18:22,582 --> 00:18:24,584
Never.
Back in a flash.

480
00:18:29,672 --> 00:18:31,595
Best weekend ever, Rick.

481
00:18:31,674 --> 00:18:35,019
I agree, Rick.
Let's see how long we can go.

482
00:18:35,094 --> 00:18:37,938
Hey, Une.
You got any more —

483
00:18:40,516 --> 00:18:42,939
Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes.

484
00:18:43,019 --> 00:18:46,523
I'm not strong enough
to do it in persons.

485
00:18:46,606 --> 00:18:48,233
I realize now that I'm attracted to you

486
00:18:48,316 --> 00:18:50,569
for the same reason
I can't be with you.

487
00:18:50,651 --> 00:18:52,244
You can't change.

488
00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,539
And I have
no problem with that,

489
00:18:54,614 --> 00:18:57,458
but it clearly means
I have a problem with myself.

490
00:18:57,533 --> 00:18:59,877
I'm sure there's no
perfect version of me.

491
00:18:59,952 --> 00:19:02,705
I'm sure I'll just unify
species after species

492
00:19:02,788 --> 00:19:04,540
and never really be complete.

493
00:19:04,624 --> 00:19:06,547
But I know how it goes with us.

494
00:19:06,626 --> 00:19:09,505
I lose who I am
and become pan' of you.

495
00:19:09,587 --> 00:19:10,930
Because in a strange way,

496
00:19:11,005 --> 00:19:13,599
you're better at what I do
without even trying.

497
00:19:13,674 --> 00:19:18,646
Yours, and nobody else's, Unity.

498
00:19:19,972 --> 00:19:22,316
P.S., I don't know where
those coal miners were

499
00:19:22,391 --> 00:19:23,517
before they were assimilated.

500
00:19:23,601 --> 00:19:25,148
You might want to get checked.

501
00:19:28,356 --> 00:19:29,357
Hey.

502
00:19:30,483 --> 00:19:31,655
Dad.

503
00:19:33,152 --> 00:19:36,497
I, urn — Jerry and I

504
00:19:36,572 --> 00:19:39,166
were looking for
our weed whacker

505
00:19:39,241 --> 00:19:41,710
and found your subterranean lair

506
00:19:41,786 --> 00:19:44,289
and your alien prisoner,

507
00:19:44,372 --> 00:19:46,249
and he got away.

508
00:19:46,332 --> 00:19:47,709
And I know I sound like mom,

509
00:19:47,792 --> 00:19:49,544
but I can't sacrifice
this whole family's safety

510
00:19:49,627 --> 00:19:51,470
just because I'm afraid
you'll leave again,

511
00:19:51,545 --> 00:19:53,388
so no more alien prisoners

512
00:19:53,464 --> 00:19:56,183
and no more
subterranean excavation

513
00:19:56,258 --> 00:19:57,680
without consulting us.

514
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,762
- Okay.
- Okay?

515
00:20:00,096 --> 00:20:03,020
"Okay" — like you're gonna
quietly teleport somewhere

516
00:20:03,099 --> 00:20:05,397
and never come back?
- No. It's your house.

517
00:20:05,476 --> 00:20:08,605
Grandpa Rick,
what happened with Unity?

518
00:20:08,688 --> 00:20:11,316
Who? Oh, Unity.
Yeah, well...

519
00:20:11,399 --> 00:20:13,151
I mean, honestly,
we're talking about an entity

520
00:20:13,234 --> 00:20:14,531
that thrives on
enslavement, you know?

521
00:20:14,610 --> 00:20:16,704
It's not cool. Fun's fun,
but who needs it?

522
00:20:16,779 --> 00:20:18,201
I'll be in the garage.

523
00:22:04,428 --> 00:22:06,806
Unity! Unity!

524
00:22:06,889 --> 00:22:08,266
Unity!

525
00:22:09,016 --> 00:22:10,142
How can I assist you?

526
00:22:10,226 --> 00:22:12,445
I want to talk to
Unity, Beta Seven.

527
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:13,612
I know it's in there.

528
00:22:13,687 --> 00:22:15,234
You're classified
as a hostile entity,

529
00:22:15,314 --> 00:22:16,941
and Unity
doesn't want to talk to you.

530
00:22:17,024 --> 00:22:17,946
I know your game, Beta Seven.

531
00:22:18,025 --> 00:22:19,197
I've met a billion of you,

532
00:22:19,276 --> 00:22:21,495
you little on-deck,
in-the-wings shoulder to cry on!

533
00:22:21,570 --> 00:22:24,665
You are classified
as a hostile entity.

534
00:22:24,740 --> 00:22:26,162
Oh, you're just loving this, mother—

535
00:22:26,242 --> 00:22:28,244
This isn't gonna
shake out like you think, pal.

536
00:22:28,327 --> 00:22:29,579
Unity's not into other
hive minds.

537
00:22:29,662 --> 00:22:31,164
It's gonna suck you in
and use you up,

538
00:22:31,247 --> 00:22:32,464
and a month from now,

539
00:22:32,540 --> 00:22:33,541
I'm gonna be making out
with all of you

540
00:22:33,624 --> 00:22:34,500
in a bunch of red wigs!

541
00:22:34,583 --> 00:22:36,585
Unity! Unity!

542
00:22:37,169 --> 00:22:39,297
Unity, I know you can hear me.
Get out here.

543
00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:40,597
Weapons systems engaged.

544
00:22:40,673 --> 00:22:42,391
Oh, in your dreams
you have weapon systems.

545
00:22:42,466 --> 00:22:44,810
Ugh, Rick, you said
we were going to a movie.

546
00:22:44,885 --> 00:22:45,807
We are, Morty.

547
00:22:45,886 --> 00:22:47,559
All right, Beta shit Seven,

548
00:22:47,638 --> 00:22:49,606
you just got
saved by the bell, bitch!

549
00:22:51,267 --> 00:22:52,610
Did you get any of that?

550
00:22:52,685 --> 00:22:54,062
It's-a good show-a.

551
00:22:56,980 --> 00:23:02,980
Ripped By mstoll