1 00:00:01,102 --> 00:00:03,771 So, Dad, guess what tomorrow is. 2 00:00:03,855 --> 00:00:05,815 Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday. 3 00:00:05,898 --> 00:00:08,359 No. Well, it... might be. 4 00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:09,527 - It is. - Fine. 5 00:00:09,611 --> 00:00:12,280 But also, tomorrow is your one-year anniversary 6 00:00:12,363 --> 00:00:13,656 back in our lives. 7 00:00:13,740 --> 00:00:15,950 I'm gonna make you flying-saucer-shaped pancakes. 8 00:00:16,034 --> 00:00:17,702 Oh, t-t-there's no need to do that, Beth. 9 00:00:17,785 --> 00:00:19,162 Regular pancakes are fine. 10 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:27,962 Oh, my god! Oh, what is happening? 11 00:01:00,536 --> 00:01:02,288 Happy anniversary, Dad. 12 00:01:02,372 --> 00:01:03,665 Oh, I get it. 13 00:01:03,748 --> 00:01:06,501 Regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers. 14 00:01:06,584 --> 00:01:08,336 Mmm. I-l should be making you breakfast 15 00:01:08,419 --> 00:01:10,213 for putting up with me. 16 00:01:10,296 --> 00:01:12,340 You should be making us a whole restaurant. 17 00:01:12,423 --> 00:01:14,467 Nonsense. We couldn't be happier to have you around. 18 00:01:14,550 --> 00:01:16,552 I just wish I got to see more of you. 19 00:01:18,346 --> 00:01:21,182 Rick Sanchez of Earth dimension C-137, 20 00:01:21,265 --> 00:01:23,768 you are under arrest for crimes against alternate Ricks 21 00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:26,896 by the authority of the Trans-Dimensional Council of Ricks. 22 00:01:26,979 --> 00:01:28,815 - Hey! What the heck? - Neutralize the Jerry. 23 00:01:28,898 --> 00:01:31,150 - Wait! No! I'll — - Dad! 24 00:01:31,234 --> 00:01:32,527 - Dad! - Rick! 25 00:01:32,610 --> 00:01:34,112 Everybody, relax. 26 00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:36,072 If I know these a-holes, and I am these a-holes, 27 00:01:36,155 --> 00:01:37,782 they just want to haul me to their stupid clubhouse 28 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,492 and waste my time with a bunch of questions. 29 00:01:39,575 --> 00:01:42,120 - Let's get it over with. - Bring his Morty. 30 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,330 - Oh, man. - Leave my Morty out of this. 31 00:01:44,414 --> 00:01:45,873 You lost the right to have a say in these things 32 00:01:45,957 --> 00:01:47,917 when you refused to j— join the council. 33 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,836 W-W-W-What about Jerry? 34 00:01:49,919 --> 00:01:53,256 Will you at least unfreeze my daughter's idiot? 35 00:01:53,339 --> 00:01:54,674 give you anything! 36 00:01:54,757 --> 00:01:56,467 I have a rare antique- coin collection! 37 00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:58,344 Just don't hurt me! 38 00:02:00,054 --> 00:02:02,598 Okay, maybe not antique, but it was a limited minting. 39 00:02:02,682 --> 00:02:04,684 They have Little R2-D2s instead of George Washington. 40 00:02:04,767 --> 00:02:06,018 Our son's been abducted! 41 00:02:06,102 --> 00:02:08,604 You hate me for buying those coins! 42 00:02:11,691 --> 00:02:13,651 Geez, Rick, w-what is this place? 43 00:02:13,735 --> 00:02:14,944 The citadel of Ricks. 44 00:02:15,027 --> 00:02:17,530 It's the secret headquarters for the Council of Ricks. 45 00:02:17,613 --> 00:02:19,741 - Council of Ricks? - As you know, Morty... 46 00:02:19,824 --> 00:02:21,492 I've got a lot of enemies in the universe 47 00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,244 that consider my genius a threat — 48 00:02:23,327 --> 00:02:25,371 galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, 49 00:02:25,455 --> 00:02:27,749 most of the entire intergalactic government. 50 00:02:27,832 --> 00:02:29,834 W-W-Wherever you find people with heads up their asses, 51 00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,711 someone wants a piece of your grandpa, 52 00:02:31,794 --> 00:02:34,714 and a lot of versions of me had the same problem, 53 00:02:34,797 --> 00:02:37,133 so a few thousand versions of me had the ingenious idea 54 00:02:37,216 --> 00:02:39,761 of banding together like a herd of cattle 55 00:02:39,844 --> 00:02:41,554 or a school of fish 56 00:02:41,637 --> 00:02:43,681 or those people who answer questions on Yahoo! Answers. 57 00:02:43,765 --> 00:02:46,434 Hey! What do you know? It's a cowboy version of me. 58 00:02:46,517 --> 00:02:47,894 Geez, you're easy to impress. 59 00:02:47,977 --> 00:02:49,228 Yeah, most time lines have a Rick, 60 00:02:49,312 --> 00:02:50,813 and most Ricks have a Morty. 61 00:02:50,897 --> 00:02:52,857 This place is a real who's who of who's you and me. 62 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:56,944 Turn your boring, old Morty into a f— hot fashion statement 63 00:02:57,028 --> 00:02:58,696 with some Morty dazzlers. 64 00:02:58,780 --> 00:03:00,656 Hey, check this out. 65 00:03:00,740 --> 00:03:02,784 - Show me the Morty. - Dumb. 66 00:03:02,867 --> 00:03:04,410 Excuse me, sir, is your Morty insured? 67 00:03:04,494 --> 00:03:06,454 You know, every year, hundreds of Mortys are injured — 68 00:03:06,537 --> 00:03:07,705 Back off! 69 00:03:07,789 --> 00:03:09,040 Not my cup of tea, this place. 70 00:03:09,123 --> 00:03:11,584 I say the point of being a Rick is being a Rick. 71 00:03:11,667 --> 00:03:13,252 Save your anti-Rick speech 72 00:03:13,336 --> 00:03:14,962 for the Council of Ricks, terror-Rick. 73 00:03:15,046 --> 00:03:16,672 Hey, save your Rick rules 74 00:03:16,756 --> 00:03:18,758 for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig. 75 00:03:18,841 --> 00:03:20,718 - Fuck me, pal. - Fuck you? 76 00:03:20,802 --> 00:03:23,638 No, no, no, no, no. Fuck me. 77 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:37,735 Bring up the holograms. 78 00:03:37,819 --> 00:03:41,781 27 Ricks brutally murdered in their own time lines — 79 00:03:41,864 --> 00:03:45,159 an unprecedented Rick-icidai epidemic. 80 00:03:45,243 --> 00:03:47,912 What say you, Earth Rick C-137? 81 00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:49,622 You think I did this? 82 00:03:49,705 --> 00:03:52,625 Why am I the first Rick you pupil in every time a Rick stubs his toe? 83 00:03:52,708 --> 00:03:54,544 You have a history of non-cooperation 84 00:03:54,627 --> 00:03:56,462 with the council. 85 00:03:56,546 --> 00:03:58,673 Yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as Rick. 86 00:03:58,756 --> 00:04:00,800 W-W-W-W-W-Why isn't he here in handcuffs? 87 00:04:00,883 --> 00:04:02,844 Because he's dead, too! 88 00:04:04,595 --> 00:04:07,139 Who else would we question? You fit the profile. 89 00:04:07,223 --> 00:04:09,433 Of all the Ricks in the central finite curve, 90 00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:11,936 you're the malcontent, the rogue. 91 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:14,355 I'm the Rick, and so were the rest of you 92 00:04:14,438 --> 00:04:16,357 before you formed this stupid alliance. 93 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,067 You wanted to be safe from the government, 94 00:04:18,150 --> 00:04:19,819 so you became a stupid government. 95 00:04:19,902 --> 00:04:21,529 That makes every Rick here less Rick than me. 96 00:04:23,406 --> 00:04:25,074 Yeah, murmur it up, d-bags. 97 00:04:25,157 --> 00:04:27,243 Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got pancakes back home 98 00:04:27,326 --> 00:04:28,369 with syrup on top of them. 99 00:04:28,452 --> 00:04:30,580 They're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption 100 00:04:30,663 --> 00:04:32,248 that turns the cakes into a gross paste, 101 00:04:32,331 --> 00:04:34,208 and I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, 102 00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:37,211 but I think we all like fluffy discs of cake with syrup on top, 103 00:04:37,295 --> 00:04:39,964 and I think we also like to be accused of crimes 104 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,549 when there's evidence! 105 00:04:41,632 --> 00:04:44,051 So, as they say in Canada, peace oot! 106 00:04:44,135 --> 00:04:47,722 Evidence! Good idea. Scan his portal gun! 107 00:04:47,805 --> 00:04:49,015 Oh, come on. 108 00:04:49,098 --> 00:04:51,851 Don't look at another man's portal-gun history. 109 00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:53,895 We — we all go to weird places. 110 00:04:53,978 --> 00:04:55,980 Yes, but it appears you alone 111 00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,691 have been going to the exact time lines and locations 112 00:04:58,774 --> 00:05:00,776 in which the murders occurred. 113 00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:02,862 What? That's Rick-diculous! 114 00:05:02,945 --> 00:05:04,530 I'm obviously being set up. 115 00:05:04,614 --> 00:05:08,200 Earth Rick C-137, the council of Ricks sentences you 116 00:05:08,284 --> 00:05:10,995 to the machine of unspeakable doom, 117 00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,706 which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, 118 00:05:13,789 --> 00:05:15,583 rendering your fantasies pointless 119 00:05:15,666 --> 00:05:18,753 while everything you've known becomes impossible to grasp. 120 00:05:18,836 --> 00:05:21,380 Also, every 10 seconds, it stabs your balls. 121 00:05:21,464 --> 00:05:23,758 I've heard enough. 122 00:05:25,635 --> 00:05:27,428 Run, Morty! 123 00:05:27,511 --> 00:05:28,721 Unh-unh. Not you. 124 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:32,600 Aaaah! 125 00:05:54,038 --> 00:05:55,957 Oh! Oh! 126 00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:00,544 Yeah, I'd like to order one large person 127 00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,797 with extra people, please. - White people. 128 00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:04,340 No, no, no, no. Black people. 129 00:06:04,423 --> 00:06:06,050 And hispanic on half. 130 00:06:17,853 --> 00:06:19,730 Yes, I'd like to order one large sofa chair 131 00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,732 with extra chair, please. - High chair. 132 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,025 No, no, no, no. Recliner. 133 00:06:23,109 --> 00:06:25,069 And wheelchair on half. 134 00:06:37,039 --> 00:06:38,791 They could have gone into any one of these. 135 00:06:38,874 --> 00:06:40,876 Son of a... 136 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:42,962 - Oh, geez. - We lost 'em. 137 00:06:43,045 --> 00:06:44,463 Yeah, I'd like to order one large phone 138 00:06:44,547 --> 00:06:46,132 with extra phones, please. - Cellphone. 139 00:06:46,215 --> 00:06:47,591 No, no, no, no. Rotary. 140 00:06:47,675 --> 00:06:49,802 And pay phone on half. 141 00:06:49,885 --> 00:06:52,805 That'll keep 'em busy for a while. 142 00:06:54,765 --> 00:06:56,726 Those guys were wrong, right? 143 00:06:56,809 --> 00:06:59,353 Y-Y-Y-You d— you wouldn't kill yourself — y-y-yourselves. 144 00:06:59,437 --> 00:07:01,856 Of course not, Morty. How could that profit me? 145 00:07:01,939 --> 00:07:03,524 But someone out there is killing Ricks, 146 00:07:03,607 --> 00:07:05,234 and the council ain't gonna stop thinking it's me 147 00:07:05,317 --> 00:07:07,737 until we clear our names — by finding the real Rick-killer. 148 00:07:07,820 --> 00:07:09,488 I'm scared, Rick. 149 00:07:09,572 --> 00:07:11,198 Maybe we should go home and stockpile weapons, 150 00:07:11,282 --> 00:07:12,950 like that show "Doomsday Preppers." 151 00:07:13,034 --> 00:07:14,577 Not really my style, Morty. 152 00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:15,828 Besides, your home is most likely 153 00:07:15,911 --> 00:07:17,830 swarming with Ricks by now. 154 00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:21,250 All right, listen, Jerry. 155 00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:24,003 If Rick calls, this device is gonna trace his location. 156 00:07:24,086 --> 00:07:26,964 You just gotta keep him on the phone for 30 seconds or longer. 157 00:07:27,048 --> 00:07:29,300 - Who wants lemonade? - Oh, yeah. 158 00:07:29,383 --> 00:07:32,053 Mmm! Oh! Delicious! 159 00:07:32,136 --> 00:07:34,138 Beth you're a treasure. 160 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,265 I have a Beth just like you in my reality, 161 00:07:36,348 --> 00:07:38,059 except you know what? 162 00:07:38,142 --> 00:07:40,853 She's not as brilliant or attractive. 163 00:07:40,936 --> 00:07:43,272 - Aw. - Thank you. 164 00:07:43,355 --> 00:07:45,191 Oh! She did! She did it! 165 00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:51,739 - H-hello? - Hey, Jerry, it's Rick. 166 00:07:51,822 --> 00:07:53,824 Rick! Hey. 167 00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:55,284 What's — what's up? 168 00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:58,370 So, listen, the heat's on, and there's nowhere left to turn, 169 00:07:58,454 --> 00:08:00,456 so Morty and I are just gonna fly my spaceship into a black hole. 170 00:08:00,539 --> 00:08:02,500 - What? - Is that cool with you, dawg? 171 00:08:02,583 --> 00:08:04,543 Rick, no! Morty! - We got it. 172 00:08:04,627 --> 00:08:06,337 The call's coming from... 173 00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:08,255 ? Inside the house? 174 00:08:08,339 --> 00:08:10,299 - Look at his face! - You dummy! 175 00:08:10,382 --> 00:08:12,343 Can't believe our daughter married you. 176 00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:14,220 Too easy! 177 00:08:14,303 --> 00:08:15,763 The Ricks are probably gonna waste some time 178 00:08:15,846 --> 00:08:16,931 messing with Jerry. 179 00:08:17,014 --> 00:08:18,516 They won't be able to help themselves. 180 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,643 But as soon as they get bored, they'll be onto us. 181 00:08:20,726 --> 00:08:22,686 Phones á ia ciams and phonesghetti with phone balls. 182 00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:23,771 Anything else? 183 00:08:23,854 --> 00:08:25,231 Yeah, more phone sticks, please. 184 00:08:25,314 --> 00:08:26,148 Right away, sir. 185 00:08:26,232 --> 00:08:27,775 You know, Rick, when I first saw 186 00:08:27,858 --> 00:08:29,068 all those Ricks and Mortys, 187 00:08:29,151 --> 00:08:31,195 I thought, "gee, that kind of devalues our bond." 188 00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:32,571 but then I realized it just means 189 00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:34,532 that our relationship must be pretty special 190 00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,700 to span over all those different time lines. 191 00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:39,078 Yeah, it's got to be that way. You're a camouflage. 192 00:08:39,161 --> 00:08:42,289 Camouflage? W-W-W-What are you talking about, Rick? 193 00:08:42,373 --> 00:08:44,041 Ricks have a very distinctive and traceable brain wave 194 00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:45,835 due to our genius. 195 00:08:45,918 --> 00:08:47,503 The best way to hide from an enemy's radar 196 00:08:47,586 --> 00:08:49,380 is to stand near someone with complementary brain waves 197 00:08:49,463 --> 00:08:51,215 that make ours invisible. 198 00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,134 See, w-w-w-when a Rick I-is with a Morty, 199 00:08:53,217 --> 00:08:56,345 the genius waves get canceled out by the, uh... 200 00:08:56,428 --> 00:08:58,597 Morty waves. 201 00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:02,268 Um... because o-our personalities are so different? 202 00:09:02,351 --> 00:09:04,228 Oh, shit, dawg. 203 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,230 My portal gun was hacked remotely, Morty — 204 00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,232 obviously by the real killer, to frame me. 205 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:10,276 But I was able to trace the signal. Come on. Let's go. 206 00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:12,027 Uh-oh. 207 00:09:12,111 --> 00:09:14,113 Excuse me. We've tracked a pair of dangerous criminals 208 00:09:14,196 --> 00:09:15,823 to this exact location. 209 00:09:15,906 --> 00:09:17,908 They look exactly like us, so in order to avoid confusion, 210 00:09:17,992 --> 00:09:19,952 I'm gonna mark us each with a red "X" right now. 211 00:09:20,035 --> 00:09:21,829 That way, if someone has a gun 212 00:09:21,912 --> 00:09:23,747 and we both tell you to shoot the other one 213 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:26,292 because they're the evil one, you'll know who's lying. 214 00:09:26,375 --> 00:09:28,210 Hey, check it out. 215 00:09:28,294 --> 00:09:30,796 Damn it! 216 00:09:31,922 --> 00:09:33,632 Hey, you didn't pay your bill! 217 00:09:33,716 --> 00:09:36,093 T-The red "X"! Red "X"! 218 00:09:36,177 --> 00:09:38,095 Hey, it's a good thing that space outlet had lab coats 219 00:09:38,179 --> 00:09:40,014 and your favorite kind of shirt in stock, huh, Morty? 220 00:09:40,097 --> 00:09:41,891 Yeah, Rick, I-I heard you the first time. 221 00:09:41,974 --> 00:09:43,726 You don't have to keep saying it over and over. 222 00:09:43,809 --> 00:09:45,394 Man, this place is way off the grid. 223 00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:47,188 This guy does not want to be found. 224 00:09:47,271 --> 00:09:50,316 Well, if he's a Rick, doesn't he just have to stand by a Morty to hide? 225 00:09:50,399 --> 00:09:53,152 I mean, isn't that what Mortys are — human cloaking devices? 226 00:09:53,235 --> 00:09:56,071 Morty, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is. 227 00:09:57,239 --> 00:09:58,949 Oh, my god, Rick, look! 228 00:09:59,033 --> 00:10:01,785 There's a bunch of people strapped all over that building! 229 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,830 Not people, Morty — Mortys. 230 00:10:10,211 --> 00:10:12,296 Oh, god! 231 00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:14,173 W-Why would somebody do this? It's horrible! 232 00:10:14,256 --> 00:10:16,425 Well, one Morty's enough to hide from the bureaucrats, 233 00:10:16,508 --> 00:10:18,427 but you get — you get a whole matrix of Mortys 234 00:10:18,510 --> 00:10:20,179 and put them in agonizing pain, 235 00:10:20,262 --> 00:10:23,349 that creates a pattern that can hide even from other Ricks, motherfucker. 236 00:10:23,432 --> 00:10:26,435 I fiddled with a concept like this once. 237 00:10:26,518 --> 00:10:29,063 On paper, Morty. On paper. 238 00:10:29,146 --> 00:10:30,898 I wouldn't do this. It's barbaric overkill. 239 00:10:30,981 --> 00:10:32,942 I mean, you could accomplish the same result with, like, 240 00:10:33,025 --> 00:10:35,444 five Mortys and a jumper cable. 241 00:10:36,820 --> 00:10:38,197 Which I also wouldn't do! 242 00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:41,033 I'm just saying, it's bad craftsmanship. 243 00:10:41,116 --> 00:10:43,452 - Coffee time! - Yo, yo, yo, yo! 244 00:10:43,535 --> 00:10:46,330 That's what I like to hear! 245 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:48,123 Hi, Jerry. 246 00:10:48,207 --> 00:10:50,042 Leave me alone. I'm working. 247 00:10:50,125 --> 00:10:52,002 Oh, you are? W-W-W-What do you do? 248 00:10:52,086 --> 00:10:55,130 I-I'm — I'm in between advertising jobs. 249 00:10:55,214 --> 00:10:57,091 Advertising? Wow! 250 00:10:57,174 --> 00:10:59,301 So, people need help figuring out what to buy, 251 00:10:59,385 --> 00:11:00,761 and then y-y-you help 'em? 252 00:11:00,844 --> 00:11:03,347 Well, it's a Little more complicated than that. 253 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,641 Well, I mean, you do it, and you seem like a guy 254 00:11:05,724 --> 00:11:07,434 who really has it all together. 255 00:11:10,145 --> 00:11:12,606 Dude, are you — w— you're being a dick, right? 256 00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:14,066 Oh, gosh, I-l hope not. 257 00:11:14,149 --> 00:11:16,610 I-l-l-I-I-I wouldn't want to offend you in any way. 258 00:11:16,694 --> 00:11:18,570 You're reality a Rick? 259 00:11:18,654 --> 00:11:20,656 Y— of course I am — 260 00:11:20,739 --> 00:11:22,616 just as much as my Morty's a Morty. 261 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,493 Hey, he looks a lot like Eric Stoltz 262 00:11:24,576 --> 00:11:26,495 from the movie "Mask." 263 00:11:26,578 --> 00:11:28,289 You know, the one with Cher in it? 264 00:11:28,372 --> 00:11:29,373 That's right, Jerry! 265 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,375 He — he's from a reality where everyone is 266 00:11:31,458 --> 00:11:33,085 Eric Stoltz "Mask" people. 267 00:11:33,168 --> 00:11:34,461 He's Eric Stoltz Mask Morty. 268 00:11:34,545 --> 00:11:35,921 They assigned him to me 269 00:11:36,005 --> 00:11:37,840 because I never had any kids of my own. 270 00:11:37,923 --> 00:11:39,300 But if I did, boy, I'd love them 271 00:11:39,383 --> 00:11:41,093 if they were as smart and as successful 272 00:11:41,176 --> 00:11:42,261 as you are, Jerry. 273 00:11:42,344 --> 00:11:43,846 Hey, get a load of this. 274 00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:45,848 Jerry's hanging out with doofus Rick. 275 00:11:45,931 --> 00:11:47,266 This is perfect. 276 00:11:47,349 --> 00:11:48,851 I'm not doofus Rick! 277 00:11:48,934 --> 00:11:50,144 I'm Rick J19-Zeta-7! 278 00:11:50,227 --> 00:11:52,563 Oh, is that the time line where everybody eats poop? 279 00:11:52,646 --> 00:11:54,606 Jerry, you know this guy eats poop, right? 280 00:11:54,690 --> 00:11:56,317 Hey, I don't eat poop! 281 00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,402 Y-You guys are always so mean to me. 282 00:12:01,071 --> 00:12:03,324 I guess it's only fair to tell you now, Jerry. 283 00:12:03,407 --> 00:12:05,242 I'm the worst Rick of them all. 284 00:12:05,326 --> 00:12:07,286 According to who — other versions of you? 285 00:12:07,369 --> 00:12:08,662 If I've learned one thing, 286 00:12:08,746 --> 00:12:10,456 it's that before you get anywhere in life, 287 00:12:10,539 --> 00:12:12,499 you got to stop listening to yourself. 288 00:12:12,583 --> 00:12:14,335 Wow. You really are wise, Jerry. 289 00:12:14,418 --> 00:12:17,296 I-I-l guess that's why you work in advertising. 290 00:12:17,379 --> 00:12:19,298 The fact that you feel that way 291 00:12:19,381 --> 00:12:21,300 makes you the best Rick of them all. 292 00:12:21,383 --> 00:12:23,302 You don't care about me at all! 293 00:12:23,385 --> 00:12:25,262 I'm no different than that jacket you've got on! 294 00:12:25,346 --> 00:12:27,306 Y-Y-Y— o-or your stupid portal gun! 295 00:12:27,389 --> 00:12:29,767 I'm just a tool! I-l-I'm just an object! 296 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,643 Hey, it's your choice to take it personally, Morty. 297 00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:33,395 Now, for the love of god, be quiet. 298 00:12:33,479 --> 00:12:35,314 The point of this is to get the drop on the guy. 299 00:12:35,397 --> 00:12:37,024 You know what, Rick? I'll tell you something! 300 00:12:37,107 --> 00:12:39,693 I'm more than a human shield! - Yeah, that's right. You are 301 00:12:39,777 --> 00:12:42,446 You're a perfect, impenetrable suit of human armor, Morty, 302 00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:44,406 because you're as dumb as I am smart, 303 00:12:44,490 --> 00:12:46,158 which is why when I say "shut up," 304 00:12:46,241 --> 00:12:48,202 it's really good advice. 305 00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:51,872 Great. Nice work, Morty. 306 00:13:04,426 --> 00:13:06,762 Ooh. Look at you, C-137. 307 00:13:06,845 --> 00:13:08,806 You — aren't you a tough customer? 308 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:11,642 The slow clap? Really? Kind of played out, dude. 309 00:13:11,725 --> 00:13:13,477 Not in this dimension, it isn't. 310 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:15,187 In fact I invented it. 311 00:13:15,270 --> 00:13:17,356 Nobody else has ever even done it here before. 312 00:13:17,439 --> 00:13:18,440 Well, ia-di-da. 313 00:13:18,524 --> 00:13:19,817 Hey, that's mine! 314 00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:25,364 I don't like the look of that Rick, Morty. 315 00:13:25,447 --> 00:13:27,699 - We gotta escape. - I'm not gonna help you, Rick. 316 00:13:27,783 --> 00:13:29,326 Y-You're a monster. 317 00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:31,203 Don't be rick-diculous, Morty. 318 00:13:31,286 --> 00:13:32,996 Will you stop saying that? It's stupid. 319 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,498 Take his Morty away. 320 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:36,708 - Come with me. - Yeah, gladly. 321 00:13:36,792 --> 00:13:39,086 Geez, man. Ricks, huh? 322 00:13:39,169 --> 00:13:41,088 Hey, man, you seem to know how this place works. 323 00:13:41,171 --> 00:13:43,298 Is there any way we could shut down that grid 324 00:13:43,382 --> 00:13:44,967 and rescue all those Mortys outside? 325 00:13:45,050 --> 00:13:46,176 It would be pointless. 326 00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:49,346 Mortys have no chance of defeating a Rick. 327 00:13:49,430 --> 00:13:50,431 In here. 328 00:13:59,148 --> 00:14:01,733 - Ah. Isn't it beautiful? - Yeah, yeah. 329 00:14:01,817 --> 00:14:04,194 Looks like payday at Neverland Ranch in here. 330 00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:05,696 Zing! 331 00:14:05,779 --> 00:14:07,030 That guy got it. 332 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,490 Unh-unh-unh, Rick. Quiet. 333 00:14:08,574 --> 00:14:10,409 You're missing my symphony. 334 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,373 Hey, I'll take it over Mumford & Sons. Zip! 335 00:14:16,457 --> 00:14:18,250 This guy is on it! 336 00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:20,335 He's not laughing at your dumb jokes, Rick. 337 00:14:20,419 --> 00:14:22,838 That's just a random noise it makes every 10 seconds. 338 00:14:25,757 --> 00:14:27,759 You see, Rick, you're not as clever as you think you are. 339 00:14:27,843 --> 00:14:29,845 I wanted you to find me. 340 00:14:29,928 --> 00:14:31,722 We're not so different, you and I. 341 00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:34,266 - Yeah, duh! - See this right here, Rick? 342 00:14:34,349 --> 00:14:36,310 I crunched the numbers. 343 00:14:36,393 --> 00:14:38,479 I created a spectrum of all the Ricks. 344 00:14:38,562 --> 00:14:41,315 I listed them out from most evil to least evil. 345 00:14:41,398 --> 00:14:43,066 Here's where I am. 346 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,152 And look it — right here's where you are, Rick. 347 00:14:45,235 --> 00:14:47,654 This guy right here — super-weird. 348 00:14:47,738 --> 00:14:49,406 I get it. So you want me to team up with you to take down 349 00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:51,575 The Council of Ricks? Is that where you're going with this? 350 00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:53,118 'Cause that's where I'd be going. 351 00:14:53,202 --> 00:14:55,412 Please. I think I'm doing pretty good on my own. 352 00:14:55,496 --> 00:14:58,415 I'm simply gonna download the contents of your brain 353 00:14:58,499 --> 00:15:01,668 and then kill you. 354 00:15:01,752 --> 00:15:03,921 Okay, if we add a little more titanium nitrate 355 00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:07,174 and just a tad of chlorified tart rate... 356 00:15:08,509 --> 00:15:10,594 ovenless brownies! 357 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:12,387 Mmm. Mmm! 358 00:15:12,471 --> 00:15:14,515 It's incredible what a gifted mind can accomplish 359 00:15:14,598 --> 00:15:16,183 when priorities are in order. 360 00:15:16,266 --> 00:15:18,227 Well, come on. I can't take all the credit, Jerry. 361 00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:21,313 It was your idea. Come here, Jerry! 362 00:15:25,567 --> 00:15:27,319 Hey, uh, come here. 363 00:15:27,402 --> 00:15:29,780 I-I want to show you something. 364 00:15:29,863 --> 00:15:31,865 Okay, look, everybody makes fun of me for getting these, 365 00:15:31,949 --> 00:15:35,077 but you're a genius scientist. What do you think? 366 00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,789 See? There's little R2-D2s where the George Washingtons should be. 367 00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:40,666 You know, Jerry, I'm not gonna tell you 368 00:15:40,749 --> 00:15:42,543 that these will increase in value 369 00:15:42,626 --> 00:15:44,378 or even hold their current value. 370 00:15:44,461 --> 00:15:46,880 The truth is, you bought them because you like them. 371 00:15:46,964 --> 00:15:50,175 They have value to you. That's what matters. 372 00:15:51,635 --> 00:15:53,720 How long are you staying? 373 00:15:53,804 --> 00:15:55,847 Until we find your Rick. 374 00:15:55,931 --> 00:15:57,891 I found mine. 375 00:15:57,975 --> 00:15:59,893 I found mine. 376 00:16:00,978 --> 00:16:04,064 - Help! - There is no escape, my son. 377 00:16:04,147 --> 00:16:06,608 We will find our peace in the next world. 378 00:16:06,692 --> 00:16:09,361 So, what — y-y-y-y-you're just gonna give up? 379 00:16:09,444 --> 00:16:12,781 We're giving in — to the power of the one true Morty. 380 00:16:12,864 --> 00:16:14,491 One day, he will return. 381 00:16:14,575 --> 00:16:18,370 Praise the one true Morty. 382 00:16:18,453 --> 00:16:21,623 Ugh. All right, Mortys, listen up. 383 00:16:21,707 --> 00:16:25,877 My name is Morty Smith, from Earth dimension C-137. 384 00:16:25,961 --> 00:16:28,463 I know you're scared, because I'm scared. 385 00:16:28,547 --> 00:16:30,716 But that's no reason to accept our fate! 386 00:16:30,799 --> 00:16:31,633 We're Mortys! 387 00:16:31,717 --> 00:16:34,386 We're not defined by our relationships to Rick! 388 00:16:34,469 --> 00:16:36,680 Our destiny is our own! 389 00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,849 This sounds like something the one true Morty might say. 390 00:16:38,932 --> 00:16:40,851 I'm sick of being a human shield. 391 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:42,936 I-I-l w— I want to be a gardener! 392 00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:46,440 I want to write really crazy, intense action novels! 393 00:16:46,523 --> 00:16:48,567 I'm more than just a hammer! 394 00:16:48,650 --> 00:16:50,527 He is the one true Morty! 395 00:16:50,611 --> 00:16:52,863 Hooray! The one true Morty! 396 00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:54,781 Hey, keep it down! 397 00:17:04,291 --> 00:17:05,834 You've lived quite a life, Rick. 398 00:17:05,917 --> 00:17:09,338 It's a real shame you won't be around to see it through. 399 00:17:17,846 --> 00:17:19,931 You're crying? Over a Morty? 400 00:17:20,015 --> 00:17:22,100 No, I'm just allergic to dips hits. 401 00:17:22,184 --> 00:17:23,435 Ugh. Pathetic. 402 00:17:23,518 --> 00:17:26,271 We both know that if there's any truth in the universe, 403 00:17:26,355 --> 00:17:28,899 it's that Ricks don't care about Mortys. 404 00:17:32,027 --> 00:17:34,571 Do your worst, you Little bastards! 405 00:17:34,655 --> 00:17:37,282 Kill me! Do it! Do I-I-I-I-it! 406 00:17:37,366 --> 00:17:40,452 Morty! Thank god! Get me out of this. 407 00:17:40,535 --> 00:17:43,288 - Come on! - You're lucky I'm not a Rick. 408 00:17:43,372 --> 00:17:46,166 Point taken, but this is no time for arcs. 409 00:17:48,043 --> 00:17:49,795 Oh! 410 00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:55,467 Yeah, hello. 411 00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:57,844 Hey, what do me and O.J. not have in common? 412 00:17:57,928 --> 00:17:59,596 Huh? W-Who is this? 413 00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:03,183 I found the real killer, bitch! Get over here! 414 00:18:05,435 --> 00:18:08,271 Yo, ding-dong, we're done here. Time to go. 415 00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,273 Well, Jerry 416 00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:12,442 I guess this means goodbye. 417 00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:14,277 W-W-Well, does it have to? 418 00:18:14,361 --> 00:18:16,238 I mean, you — you look just like Rick. 419 00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:18,824 We could maybe, you know, get rid of him. 420 00:18:18,907 --> 00:18:20,659 I'm not saying kill him, necessarily. 421 00:18:20,742 --> 00:18:23,495 I — I'm also not saying necessarily not kill him, but — 422 00:18:23,578 --> 00:18:26,248 Jerry, w-we both know it wouldn't work. 423 00:18:26,331 --> 00:18:29,334 It's time to go back to our lives. 424 00:18:29,418 --> 00:18:31,420 I love you, Jerry. I love you. 425 00:18:47,602 --> 00:18:49,187 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 426 00:18:49,271 --> 00:18:51,064 Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! Hut! 427 00:18:53,984 --> 00:18:56,445 W-What — w-what's gonna happen to all these Mortys? 428 00:18:56,528 --> 00:18:58,530 They'll go back to their families, 429 00:18:58,613 --> 00:19:02,701 attend school regularly, play video games, date girls. 430 00:19:02,784 --> 00:19:06,037 Poor Little Rick less bastards. 431 00:19:06,121 --> 00:19:08,165 Earth Rick C-137, 432 00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:11,334 the council apologizes for its false accusation, 433 00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:13,920 and in the way of reparations for our terrible mistake, 434 00:19:14,004 --> 00:19:17,299 we would like to compensate you with this voucher 435 00:19:17,382 --> 00:19:19,843 for a free replacement Morty in the event 436 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:21,970 that your current Morty should — 437 00:19:22,053 --> 00:19:24,347 Uh, guys, not a good time. 438 00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,308 Come on, Morty. Let's hit it. 439 00:19:28,435 --> 00:19:30,395 Is it time for arcs yet, Rick? 440 00:19:30,479 --> 00:19:31,855 I did a pretty good job back there 441 00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:34,024 for a human cloaking device. 442 00:19:34,107 --> 00:19:35,442 Saved your ass. - All right, Morty. 443 00:19:35,525 --> 00:19:37,235 Don't break an arm jerking yourself off. 444 00:19:37,319 --> 00:19:38,987 Man, I can't believe you, Rick. 445 00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:40,989 That right there, that w— that was a great opportunity 446 00:19:41,072 --> 00:19:42,991 to show a little humanity, you know? 447 00:19:43,074 --> 00:19:44,576 To connect with me a Little. 448 00:19:44,659 --> 00:19:46,036 Hey, Morty, you want connection, 449 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,580 go be part of some stupid club, like all those dumb Ricks. 450 00:19:48,663 --> 00:19:51,082 You know, maybe I don't connect because I'm the Rickest Rick. 451 00:19:51,166 --> 00:19:53,460 And, you know, it would g— 452 00:19:53,543 --> 00:19:55,712 Go without saying that the Rickest Rick 453 00:19:55,796 --> 00:19:57,172 would have the Mortyest Morty. 454 00:19:57,255 --> 00:19:59,466 - It would go without saying, huh? - Yeah, it would. 455 00:19:59,549 --> 00:20:02,302 Did you hear me say it? - Nah. 456 00:20:02,385 --> 00:20:04,304 The Mortyest Morty. 457 00:20:04,387 --> 00:20:06,598 Just don't get too big for your loafers, Buster Brown. 458 00:20:06,681 --> 00:20:08,850 A cocky Morty can lead to some big problems. 459 00:20:08,934 --> 00:20:10,811 It can be a real bad thing for everybody. 460 00:20:10,894 --> 00:20:12,479 Oh, yeah? How's that? 461 00:20:12,562 --> 00:20:15,482 U-Uh, I'll explain when you're older. 462 00:20:16,858 --> 00:20:18,026 What a mess. 463 00:20:18,109 --> 00:20:19,986 Pride cometh before the fail. 464 00:20:20,070 --> 00:20:21,905 I guess he got what he deserved. 465 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:22,781 What is that? 466 00:20:24,032 --> 00:20:25,617 Hand me the laser difibulator. 467 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:27,327 Hey, guys, uh, c-can I help? 468 00:20:27,410 --> 00:20:28,703 No! Go clean the toilets. 469 00:20:28,787 --> 00:20:30,622 Maybe you'll make friends with some turds. 470 00:20:30,705 --> 00:20:33,124 You make us ashamed to be ourselves! 471 00:20:34,584 --> 00:20:37,254 My god. I've seen this technology before. 472 00:20:38,713 --> 00:20:40,632 This Rick was being controlled remotely — 473 00:20:40,715 --> 00:20:42,217 puppeteer ed by somebody else. 474 00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:46,012 This is the receiver. - Yeah, but where's the transmitter? 475 00:21:34,978 --> 00:21:37,355 Wubba dubba dub dub! Oh. Hey, Jerry. 476 00:21:37,439 --> 00:21:39,691 W-W-W-What are you doing in my room, buddy? 477 00:21:39,774 --> 00:21:41,860 Nothing. I was just, um... 478 00:21:41,943 --> 00:21:43,862 checking the smoke detectors. 479 00:21:43,945 --> 00:21:46,865 All right. Okay, get out. 480 00:22:08,345 --> 00:22:10,138 What's that dip shit doing out there? 481 00:22:10,221 --> 00:22:11,348 Are you friends with him? 482 00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,224 You know he eats his own shit, right? 483 00:22:13,308 --> 00:22:15,143 Oh, my god, this is rich! 484 00:22:15,226 --> 00:22:18,146 I've got like 10 Ricks to call right now. 485 00:22:19,689 --> 00:22:21,107 Did you get any of that? 486 00:22:21,191 --> 00:22:23,151 It's a good-a show!