1 00:00:32,985 --> 00:00:34,237 Principal Vagina here — 2 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:36,364 Don't let me name fool you. I'm very much in charge — 3 00:00:36,447 --> 00:00:39,283 reminding you that tonight is our annual Flu Season Dance. 4 00:00:39,367 --> 00:00:41,327 I don't know how many times I have to say this, 5 00:00:41,411 --> 00:00:43,287 but if you have the flu, stay home. 6 00:00:43,371 --> 00:00:44,288 Hey. 7 00:00:44,372 --> 00:00:46,207 The Flu Season Dance is about awareness, not celebration. 8 00:00:47,709 --> 00:00:49,544 You don't bring dead babies to Passover. 9 00:00:49,627 --> 00:00:53,631 Okay. Here we go. H-Hey, Jessica. Uh... 10 00:00:53,715 --> 00:00:55,675 What's up, Morty? 11 00:00:55,758 --> 00:00:56,968 What are you doing? 12 00:00:57,051 --> 00:00:58,678 - Um... - Wait, wait. 13 00:00:58,761 --> 00:01:00,888 Were you about to talk... to her? 14 00:01:00,972 --> 00:01:03,391 Well... I mean, I was thinking about it. 15 00:01:03,474 --> 00:01:05,435 Dude, stay in your league. 16 00:01:05,518 --> 00:01:07,770 Look at how hot she is. You don't see me going... 17 00:01:07,854 --> 00:01:09,605 to a bigger school in a wealthier district 18 00:01:09,689 --> 00:01:11,274 and hitting on their prettiest girl. 19 00:01:11,357 --> 00:01:12,692 Gee, thanks, Brad. 20 00:01:12,775 --> 00:01:14,402 I throw balls far. 21 00:01:14,485 --> 00:01:15,987 You want good words? 22 00:01:16,070 --> 00:01:17,697 Date a Languager. 23 00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:19,532 Try not to worry about it, Morty. 24 00:01:19,615 --> 00:01:21,367 You're a good kid, and there's not a premium 25 00:01:21,451 --> 00:01:23,202 on that right now, but you'll be getting girls 26 00:01:23,286 --> 00:01:24,912 sometime after Brad's out of shape. 27 00:01:24,996 --> 00:01:26,581 You're missing the point, Dad. 28 00:01:26,664 --> 00:01:29,208 I don't want girls. I want Jessica. 29 00:01:29,292 --> 00:01:32,086 Ah, well, I remember feeling that way 30 00:01:32,170 --> 00:01:34,255 about a young lady named "your mom," 31 00:01:34,338 --> 00:01:35,715 and that's not an urban diss. 32 00:01:35,798 --> 00:01:37,300 Your mom was my Jessica. 33 00:01:37,383 --> 00:01:38,801 I remember the first time I saw her. 34 00:01:38,885 --> 00:01:40,344 I thought — - "I should get her pregnant, 35 00:01:40,428 --> 00:01:41,846 and then she'll have to marry me." 36 00:01:41,929 --> 00:01:44,056 I beg your pardon, Rick — inappropriate. 37 00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:45,725 Sorry, please proceed with your story 38 00:01:45,808 --> 00:01:47,435 about banging my daughter in high school. 39 00:01:47,518 --> 00:01:49,854 I'm not sure you wanna take romantic advice from this guy, Morty. 40 00:01:49,937 --> 00:01:51,856 His marriage is hanging from a thread. 41 00:01:51,939 --> 00:01:54,233 My marriage is fine, thank you. 42 00:01:54,317 --> 00:01:55,860 Jerry, it's your house — whatever you say it is 43 00:01:55,943 --> 00:01:57,737 is how it is — but I think a blind man could see 44 00:01:57,820 --> 00:01:59,447 that Beth is looking for the door. 45 00:01:59,530 --> 00:02:01,741 I barely have a reason to care, and even I noticed. 46 00:02:01,824 --> 00:02:04,035 Come on, Rick! Don't talk about my parents like that. 47 00:02:04,118 --> 00:02:05,870 Listen, Morty, I hate to break it to you, 48 00:02:05,953 --> 00:02:07,538 but what people call "love" 49 00:02:07,622 --> 00:02:09,874 is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. 50 00:02:09,957 --> 00:02:12,543 It hits hard, Morty, then it slowly fades, 51 00:02:12,627 --> 00:02:14,545 leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. 52 00:02:14,629 --> 00:02:16,547 I did it. Your parents are gonna do it. 53 00:02:16,631 --> 00:02:17,924 Break the cycle, Morty. 54 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:19,801 Rise above. Focus on science. 55 00:02:21,886 --> 00:02:24,764 All right, well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance. 56 00:02:24,847 --> 00:02:28,643 Yeah, I'm just going to... check on your mom. 57 00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:33,105 Morty, hand me that screwdriver, huh? 58 00:02:33,189 --> 00:02:35,942 I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Morty. 59 00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:37,902 It's gonna be great. - Hey, listen, Rick. 60 00:02:37,985 --> 00:02:39,779 Y-Y-You know how you said that, you know, 61 00:02:39,862 --> 00:02:41,823 love is a chemical and all that stuff from earlier? 62 00:02:41,906 --> 00:02:43,115 Well, I was thinking, you know, 63 00:02:43,199 --> 00:02:45,827 w-w— could you make some sort of chemical thing happen 64 00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:47,370 inside of Jessica's mind, you know, 65 00:02:47,453 --> 00:02:49,038 so where she falls in love with me 66 00:02:49,121 --> 00:02:50,540 and all that sort of thing? 67 00:02:50,623 --> 00:02:52,625 You know, like, some sort of love potion or something? 68 00:02:52,708 --> 00:02:54,293 Morty, that's such a poor use of my time. 69 00:02:54,377 --> 00:02:56,629 It's beneath me. Hand me the screwdriver. 70 00:02:56,712 --> 00:02:58,297 You know what? No, Rick! 71 00:02:58,381 --> 00:02:59,924 I'm not gonna hand you the screwdriver. 72 00:03:00,007 --> 00:03:01,926 I-I'm not gonna hand you anything ever again, Rick! 73 00:03:02,009 --> 00:03:04,345 I'm always helping you with this and that and the other thing. 74 00:03:04,428 --> 00:03:06,514 W-W-W-W-W-What about me, Rick? 75 00:03:06,597 --> 00:03:08,516 W-W-W-W-Why can't you just help me out once — 76 00:03:08,599 --> 00:03:09,934 once — for once? 77 00:03:10,017 --> 00:03:12,103 You're growing up fast, Morty. 78 00:03:12,186 --> 00:03:15,189 You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass. 79 00:03:15,273 --> 00:03:17,191 Listen, this is called oxytocin. 80 00:03:17,275 --> 00:03:18,651 I extracted it from a vole. 81 00:03:18,734 --> 00:03:20,361 Do you know what a vole is, Morty? 82 00:03:20,444 --> 00:03:22,113 You know what a vole is? It's a — it's a rodent 83 00:03:22,196 --> 00:03:23,823 that mates for life, Morty. 84 00:03:23,906 --> 00:03:26,200 This is the chemical released in a mammal's brain, you know, 85 00:03:26,284 --> 00:03:27,618 that makes it fall in love. 86 00:03:27,702 --> 00:03:29,954 I just gotta — combine it with your DNA. 87 00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:31,789 Oh, well, okay. 88 00:03:31,873 --> 00:03:33,791 A hair, Morty. I need one of your hairs. 89 00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:35,543 This isn't "Game of Thrones." 90 00:03:35,626 --> 00:03:37,086 Ow! 91 00:03:37,169 --> 00:03:39,088 All right, Morty, whoever you smear this stuff on 92 00:03:39,171 --> 00:03:41,132 will fail in love with you, and only you, forever. 93 00:03:41,215 --> 00:03:43,134 Are you happy now, Morty? - Heck, yeah! 94 00:03:43,217 --> 00:03:45,219 Thank you, Grandpa Rick. 95 00:03:45,303 --> 00:03:47,096 Hey, there's no... dangers or anything, 96 00:03:47,179 --> 00:03:48,639 or side effects, right? 97 00:03:48,723 --> 00:03:50,308 W-W-W-What am I, a hack? 98 00:03:50,391 --> 00:03:52,560 Go nuts, Morty. It's foolproof. 99 00:03:54,437 --> 00:03:57,148 Eh, unless she has the flu. 100 00:03:57,231 --> 00:04:00,026 Beth, do y-you still love me? 101 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:02,445 Ugh, what kind of question is that? 102 00:04:02,528 --> 00:04:04,363 The "yes or no" kind? 103 00:04:04,447 --> 00:04:06,866 Jerry, do you want homeless people to have homes? 104 00:04:06,949 --> 00:04:08,117 Yes. 105 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,201 Are you gonna build them? 106 00:04:09,285 --> 00:04:10,328 No. 107 00:04:10,411 --> 00:04:11,996 Then what good was the "yes"? 108 00:04:12,079 --> 00:04:14,999 Wait, I-is loving me the house or the homeless people? 109 00:04:15,082 --> 00:04:17,877 Loving you is work, Jerry — hard work, 110 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,879 like building a homeless shelter — 111 00:04:19,962 --> 00:04:21,797 nobody wants to say no to doing it, 112 00:04:21,881 --> 00:04:23,507 but some people put the work in. 113 00:04:23,591 --> 00:04:25,676 So, what do you say? Do you see me working here? 114 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,054 Does this conversation seem tedious to me? 115 00:04:28,137 --> 00:04:29,388 Sort of. 116 00:04:29,472 --> 00:04:31,098 Then I obviously sort of love you, don't I? 117 00:04:32,516 --> 00:04:34,185 So stop asking, and maybe I'll love you more. 118 00:04:34,268 --> 00:04:36,187 Crap, they need me at the horse hospital. 119 00:04:36,270 --> 00:04:37,438 Puh! This late? 120 00:04:37,521 --> 00:04:39,732 The racetrack had a starlight derby. 121 00:04:39,815 --> 00:04:41,275 There was a seven-horse collision, 122 00:04:41,359 --> 00:04:43,235 and Davin's there alone. 123 00:04:43,319 --> 00:04:46,155 Davin. Davin. 124 00:04:46,238 --> 00:04:48,366 Davin! Davin. 125 00:04:48,449 --> 00:04:50,701 Davin! Davin! 126 00:04:50,785 --> 00:04:53,079 Davin! Davin! 127 00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:55,081 ? Flu, yo. You gotta be aware? 128 00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:57,083 ? Aware of all the flu up in the air? 129 00:04:57,166 --> 00:04:59,752 ? I'm-a get me a shot, make the flu go away? 130 00:04:59,835 --> 00:05:02,046 ? Flu-hating rapper, just rapping away? 131 00:05:02,129 --> 00:05:04,423 ? Yo, yo, flu-hating rapper? 132 00:05:04,507 --> 00:05:05,758 ? It's a flu-hating rap? 133 00:05:05,841 --> 00:05:10,137 Hey, there, Jessica. Whoa! Oh, whoopsie! 134 00:05:10,221 --> 00:05:12,682 Oh, my god. Morty. 135 00:05:12,765 --> 00:05:14,934 You look reality nice tonight. 136 00:05:15,017 --> 00:05:17,937 - Wow, thanks. - I love you, Morty! 137 00:05:18,020 --> 00:05:19,939 I love you so much it burns! 138 00:05:20,022 --> 00:05:22,942 Oh, man! I-l love you too, Jessica! 139 00:05:24,235 --> 00:05:26,153 Is this punk bothering you, Jessica? 140 00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:28,572 Leave him alone, jerk! I'm in love with him! 141 00:05:28,656 --> 00:05:30,574 He is more man than you will ever be! 142 00:05:31,867 --> 00:05:33,744 ? This is about flu awareness? 143 00:05:33,828 --> 00:05:36,372 ? Gotta be aware of the flu in the air-ness? 144 00:05:36,455 --> 00:05:38,708 ? Yo, I'm a flu-hating rapper? 145 00:05:38,791 --> 00:05:40,710 Oh, man, Morty. 146 00:05:40,793 --> 00:05:42,378 I'm reality sorry. 147 00:05:42,461 --> 00:05:44,797 Oh, well, n-no problem, Brad. 148 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,049 There's something special about you, Morty — 149 00:05:47,133 --> 00:05:48,467 so special. 150 00:05:48,551 --> 00:05:50,469 Whoa, take it easy! Get your hands off of him! 151 00:05:50,553 --> 00:05:52,471 Back off! I'm trying to be with my man! 152 00:05:52,555 --> 00:05:54,056 That's enough, Bradley! 153 00:05:54,140 --> 00:05:55,808 We don't want you injuring your ball-throwing arm. 154 00:05:55,891 --> 00:05:57,309 Oh, come on, Principal Vagina. I just... 155 00:05:57,393 --> 00:05:59,562 Never leave me, Morty. Never! 156 00:05:59,645 --> 00:06:02,606 Uh, sure. I mean, o-of course not. 157 00:06:02,690 --> 00:06:05,109 W-What do you think that was all about? 158 00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:06,861 Who cares? Just hold me. 159 00:06:06,944 --> 00:06:09,280 Let me go! I love you, Morty! 160 00:06:10,573 --> 00:06:12,116 Let go of me! 161 00:06:12,199 --> 00:06:14,869 Morty! 162 00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:21,584 She's gonna be alone with that guy all night. 163 00:06:21,667 --> 00:06:23,586 Yeah, Dad, digging around the insides of horses. 164 00:06:23,669 --> 00:06:25,379 It's not a very romantic setting. 165 00:06:25,463 --> 00:06:27,131 Well, Summer, there's always the possibility 166 00:06:27,214 --> 00:06:28,841 that she made the whole work thing up. 167 00:06:28,924 --> 00:06:30,843 Maybe Davin's digging around in her insides. 168 00:06:30,926 --> 00:06:33,804 Grandpa, so gross! You're talking about my mom. 169 00:06:33,888 --> 00:06:35,473 Well, she's my daughter, Summer. 170 00:06:35,556 --> 00:06:36,974 I outrank you. 171 00:06:37,058 --> 00:06:39,727 Or family means nothing, in which case don't play that card. 172 00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:41,520 She's not responding to my texts! 173 00:06:41,604 --> 00:06:43,981 Careful, Dad. Jealousy turns women off. 174 00:06:44,065 --> 00:06:45,733 Well, isn't that convenient? 175 00:06:45,816 --> 00:06:47,526 Not for the men they cheat on, no. 176 00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:49,945 Okay, I'm... going to go out... 177 00:06:50,029 --> 00:06:51,280 for some ice cream. 178 00:06:51,363 --> 00:06:52,865 And maybe stop by the hospital... 179 00:06:52,948 --> 00:06:54,825 to support my wife... 180 00:06:54,909 --> 00:06:57,119 with my confidence. 181 00:06:57,203 --> 00:06:59,330 God, Grandpa, you're such a dick. 182 00:06:59,413 --> 00:07:02,124 I'm sorry, Summer. Your opinion means very little to me. 183 00:07:02,208 --> 00:07:04,293 How come you're not at this stupid dance everyone loves? 184 00:07:04,376 --> 00:07:06,295 Screw that. I don't wanna get sick. 185 00:07:06,378 --> 00:07:08,047 It's flu season. - It is? 186 00:07:08,130 --> 00:07:09,757 - Yeah. - Uh-oh. 187 00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,223 Please just let this work out. 188 00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:20,184 Do it, Morty. Do it. 189 00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:23,229 Rip my clothes off and mate with me for life! 190 00:07:24,355 --> 00:07:27,108 Um... can we maybe go somewhere more private? 191 00:07:27,191 --> 00:07:29,276 Jessica, get a hold of yourself! 192 00:07:30,945 --> 00:07:33,614 You don't deserve to carry Morty's genes. 193 00:07:33,697 --> 00:07:35,825 ? I love Morty? 194 00:07:35,908 --> 00:07:38,327 ? And I hope Morty loves me? 195 00:07:38,410 --> 00:07:41,038 ? I'd like to wrap my arms around him? 196 00:07:41,122 --> 00:07:43,332 ? And feel him inside me? 197 00:07:43,415 --> 00:07:44,917 Oh, crap. 198 00:07:47,503 --> 00:07:49,421 Morty! 199 00:07:49,505 --> 00:07:51,924 Morty, come on! We gotta get you out of here. 200 00:07:52,007 --> 00:07:53,926 You won't believe this 'cause it usually never happens, 201 00:07:54,009 --> 00:07:55,386 but I made a mistake. 202 00:07:56,887 --> 00:07:58,597 Come on, Morty. We got to get out of here. 203 00:07:58,681 --> 00:07:59,515 Come on. - Morty! 204 00:07:59,598 --> 00:08:00,724 Are you okay? 205 00:08:00,808 --> 00:08:02,601 - I'm fine! - Oh, good. 206 00:08:02,685 --> 00:08:05,271 If anything ever happened to you, I would kill myself. 207 00:08:05,354 --> 00:08:07,439 I love you bad, Mo-Mo! 208 00:08:11,527 --> 00:08:13,362 Morty, the principal and I have discussed it, 209 00:08:13,445 --> 00:08:16,949 a-a-and we're both insecure enough to agree to a three-way! 210 00:08:20,828 --> 00:08:22,371 I didn't realize when I gave you that serum 211 00:08:22,454 --> 00:08:24,248 that Jessica had the flu — you know, 212 00:08:24,331 --> 00:08:27,084 t-t-t-t-t-that might have been valuable information for me! 213 00:08:27,168 --> 00:08:28,419 What the hell is going on, Rick? 214 00:08:28,502 --> 00:08:29,962 What does it look like? 215 00:08:30,045 --> 00:08:31,630 T-T-T-The serum is piggybacking on the virus. 216 00:08:31,714 --> 00:08:33,132 It's gone airborne, Morty. 217 00:08:33,215 --> 00:08:35,676 Oh, crap. What are we gonna do, Rick? 218 00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:37,261 It's gonna be fine, Morty, relax. 219 00:08:37,344 --> 00:08:38,387 I whipped up an antidote. 220 00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:40,639 It's based on praying-mantis DNA. 221 00:08:40,723 --> 00:08:42,641 You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles. 222 00:08:42,725 --> 00:08:43,976 I mean, they — they mate once, 223 00:08:44,059 --> 00:08:45,895 and then they, you know, decapitate the partner. 224 00:08:45,978 --> 00:08:47,396 I mean, it's a whole ritual. 225 00:08:47,479 --> 00:08:49,523 It's really gruesome and totally opposite. 226 00:08:49,607 --> 00:08:50,941 There's no love at all. 227 00:08:51,025 --> 00:08:53,402 I-I-l basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus. 228 00:08:53,485 --> 00:08:55,946 It should neutralize the whole thing, Morty. 229 00:08:56,030 --> 00:08:57,656 It'll all be over very shortly. 230 00:09:02,286 --> 00:09:04,205 Uh, by the way, Morty, I know you didn't ask or anything, 231 00:09:04,288 --> 00:09:06,207 but I'm not interested in having sex with you. 232 00:09:06,290 --> 00:09:07,917 These serums, they don't work on anybody 233 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,335 related to you genetically. 234 00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:12,296 Morty! 235 00:09:23,265 --> 00:09:24,767 Okay, well, sometimes, 236 00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:26,769 science is more art than science, Morty. 237 00:09:26,852 --> 00:09:28,729 A lot of people don't get that. 238 00:09:36,111 --> 00:09:37,863 Come on. Are you kidding me? 239 00:09:37,947 --> 00:09:40,824 Hello! - Morty! 240 00:09:40,908 --> 00:09:43,911 You're not Morty! Bring us Morty! 241 00:09:52,002 --> 00:09:53,921 Nobody's killing me... 242 00:09:54,004 --> 00:09:57,174 until after I catch my wife with another man. 243 00:09:57,258 --> 00:09:59,510 I had sex with Billy 244 00:09:59,593 --> 00:10:01,345 But you were already pregnant! 245 00:10:01,428 --> 00:10:02,930 Yeah, so what's the worst that could happen? 246 00:10:03,013 --> 00:10:05,808 We interrupt"Pregnant Baby" with breaking news. 247 00:10:05,891 --> 00:10:07,434 Come on. 248 00:10:07,518 --> 00:10:09,895 This justin — Morty Smith's whereabouts are still unknown. 249 00:10:09,979 --> 00:10:11,939 What the hell? 250 00:10:12,022 --> 00:10:14,775 The only thing that is known is... how cute he is. 251 00:10:14,858 --> 00:10:17,361 I love him so much, I want to make love to him 252 00:10:17,444 --> 00:10:19,029 and then eat his head 253 00:10:19,113 --> 00:10:21,031 I love him more than you do, Harold-ol-d! 254 00:10:21,115 --> 00:10:22,783 You wish, you stupid bitch! 255 00:10:22,866 --> 00:10:24,410 - Morty's mine! - Morty's mine! 256 00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:25,869 Meant to be together! 257 00:10:25,953 --> 00:10:29,039 Morty! 258 00:10:35,462 --> 00:10:36,922 Where is Morty? 259 00:10:50,352 --> 00:10:53,689 Oh, my god, Rick. The whole word is infected! 260 00:10:53,772 --> 00:10:55,899 Yeah, it's pretty wild how fast that spread. 261 00:10:55,983 --> 00:10:58,152 I've reality outdone myself. - Outdone yourself? 262 00:10:58,235 --> 00:11:00,070 W-W— a-are — are you kidding me, Rick? 263 00:11:00,154 --> 00:11:01,697 This is not okay! 264 00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:03,490 Not only do they all want to have sex with me, 265 00:11:03,574 --> 00:11:05,492 but, you know, now they want to eat me afterwards! 266 00:11:05,576 --> 00:11:06,952 Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. 267 00:11:07,036 --> 00:11:08,704 Mantises are the opposite of voles? 268 00:11:08,787 --> 00:11:11,415 I mean, obviously, DNA's more complicated than that. 269 00:11:11,498 --> 00:11:12,791 You know what, though, Morty? 270 00:11:12,875 --> 00:11:14,626 This right here's gonna do the trick, baby. 271 00:11:14,710 --> 00:11:17,129 It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, 272 00:11:17,212 --> 00:11:19,465 cactus, shark, golden retriever, 273 00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,342 and just a smidge of dinosaur. 274 00:11:21,425 --> 00:11:23,093 Should add up to normal humanity. 275 00:11:23,177 --> 00:11:24,928 I don't — that doesn't make any sense, Rick. 276 00:11:25,012 --> 00:11:26,972 How does that add up to normal humanity? 277 00:11:27,056 --> 00:11:28,724 What, Morty, you want me to show you my math? 278 00:11:28,807 --> 00:11:30,392 I'm sorry — a-are you the scientist 279 00:11:30,476 --> 00:11:32,269 or are you the kid that wanted to get laid? 280 00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:37,316 Well, I'm glad we saved all those horses, 281 00:11:37,399 --> 00:11:39,318 but I'm almost sorry we're finished. 282 00:11:39,401 --> 00:11:40,903 Yes, it's satisfying work. 283 00:11:40,986 --> 00:11:43,072 Unh-unh-unh, it's, uh — it's more than the work. 284 00:11:43,155 --> 00:11:45,574 I love being in that sterilized room, 285 00:11:45,657 --> 00:11:47,826 sealed off from the world. 286 00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:50,162 It's the only time I can reality think... and feel. 287 00:11:51,455 --> 00:11:53,749 Hmm, uh, what are you doing? 288 00:11:53,832 --> 00:11:55,918 I'm playing African dream pop. 289 00:11:56,001 --> 00:11:58,128 What do you do after a long night? 290 00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:02,174 Oh, ha, um, hey, I b— I'd better get going. 291 00:12:02,257 --> 00:12:04,927 Um, Jerry's been texting some pretty high-maintenance stuff. 292 00:12:05,010 --> 00:12:06,887 - Beth... - What is it, Davin? 293 00:12:06,970 --> 00:12:09,807 Just once, I'd like to know — 294 00:12:11,892 --> 00:12:14,395 w-w-what it was like to give your son a bath. 295 00:12:14,478 --> 00:12:15,562 What? 296 00:12:15,646 --> 00:12:18,982 What does Morty's skin smell like? 297 00:12:19,066 --> 00:12:21,610 How soft... 298 00:12:21,693 --> 00:12:24,029 How soft are his privates? 299 00:12:24,113 --> 00:12:25,948 Let go of me, Davin! 300 00:12:31,829 --> 00:12:33,956 Take me to Morty. 301 00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:37,084 You're not Morty. 302 00:12:37,167 --> 00:12:39,628 No, I'm Mr. Crowbar, 303 00:12:39,711 --> 00:12:41,964 and this is my friend, 304 00:12:42,047 --> 00:12:44,258 who is also a crowbar. 305 00:12:44,341 --> 00:12:46,135 That's... stupid. 306 00:12:49,054 --> 00:12:50,180 Yeah? 307 00:12:50,264 --> 00:12:52,015 Well, look where being smart got you. 308 00:12:52,099 --> 00:12:54,017 Jerry! Thank God! 309 00:12:54,101 --> 00:12:55,185 God? 310 00:12:55,269 --> 00:12:58,272 God's turning people into insect monsters, Beth. 311 00:12:58,355 --> 00:13:00,441 I'm the one beating them to death. 312 00:13:00,524 --> 00:13:02,776 Thank me. - Thank you, Jerry. 313 00:13:02,860 --> 00:13:04,194 Thank you. 314 00:13:08,824 --> 00:13:10,909 Take a good look down there, Morty, and soak it in, 315 00:13:10,993 --> 00:13:12,453 because, you know, once I pull this lever, 316 00:13:12,536 --> 00:13:13,829 it's all back to normal. 317 00:13:13,912 --> 00:13:15,372 Just do it already. 318 00:13:15,456 --> 00:13:17,207 Well, technically, Morty, there's no rush. 319 00:13:17,291 --> 00:13:19,126 I mean, you know, o-once it's fixed, it's done. 320 00:13:19,209 --> 00:13:20,961 It's fixed. You know, we could — 321 00:13:21,044 --> 00:13:22,963 we could just enjoy it for a tittle bit. 322 00:13:23,046 --> 00:13:24,423 I mean, I-I-I-look at how crazy it is. 323 00:13:24,506 --> 00:13:26,091 I mean, Morty, w-w-when's the next time 324 00:13:26,175 --> 00:13:27,593 you're gonna see something like this? 325 00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,136 I mean, soak it in, you know? 326 00:13:29,219 --> 00:13:30,804 It's — it's pretty neat. It's pretty interesting. 327 00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:32,389 That's it, Rick! I'm pulling the lever. 328 00:13:39,813 --> 00:13:41,190 W-What do we have here, Morty? 329 00:13:41,273 --> 00:13:43,108 Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh? 330 00:13:43,192 --> 00:13:46,153 I-l-l-I-I bet you feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? 331 00:13:46,236 --> 00:13:48,030 I-I-l bet you feel like the world's smallest man 332 00:13:48,113 --> 00:13:50,324 that you were doubting me about this whole thing, Morty. 333 00:13:50,407 --> 00:13:52,284 Oh, Rick, something's not right. 334 00:13:52,367 --> 00:13:53,952 Yeah, you. 335 00:13:54,036 --> 00:13:55,287 You're not right — ever. 336 00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:57,164 No, no! Look, you idiot! 337 00:14:21,438 --> 00:14:23,232 Bet you're loving this, Morty. 338 00:14:23,315 --> 00:14:25,317 This must be the best day of your life. 339 00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:28,237 You get to be the mayor of I-Told-You Town. 340 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,322 You're welcome. 341 00:14:40,165 --> 00:14:42,125 Hold on. 342 00:15:00,644 --> 00:15:02,938 I wish that shotgun was my penis. 343 00:15:03,021 --> 00:15:05,899 If it were, you could call me Ernest Hemingway. 344 00:15:05,983 --> 00:15:08,527 I don't get it, and I don't need to. 345 00:15:09,611 --> 00:15:11,530 Mom! Dad! 346 00:15:11,613 --> 00:15:13,323 Summer! 347 00:15:15,325 --> 00:15:16,451 Where's Morty? 348 00:15:16,535 --> 00:15:17,828 I don't know. 349 00:15:17,911 --> 00:15:19,997 Do you think Grandpa Rick had something to do with this? 350 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:21,832 It's not fair to assume that, Summer. 351 00:15:21,915 --> 00:15:23,875 Oh, not fair? Give me a break. 352 00:15:23,959 --> 00:15:25,961 He is a selfish, irresponsible ass, 353 00:15:26,044 --> 00:15:27,421 and he left my mother. 354 00:15:27,504 --> 00:15:30,299 A real man stands by his woman. 355 00:15:35,262 --> 00:15:38,015 ? Tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo-tchoo. Tchoo-tchoo? 356 00:15:38,098 --> 00:15:40,684 Boy, I reality Cronenberged the world up, didn't I? 357 00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,519 We got a whole planet of Cronenbergs 358 00:15:42,603 --> 00:15:44,187 walking around down there, Morty. 359 00:15:44,271 --> 00:15:46,273 A-At least they're not in love with you anymore, though. 360 00:15:46,356 --> 00:15:48,108 That's a huge step in the right direction. 361 00:15:48,191 --> 00:15:50,402 Oh, my God! It's a living nightmare! 362 00:15:50,485 --> 00:15:52,946 How could you be so irresponsible, Rick? 363 00:15:53,030 --> 00:15:55,449 Me irresponsible? You — all I wanted you to do 364 00:15:55,532 --> 00:15:57,200 was hand me a screwdriver, Morty! 365 00:15:57,284 --> 00:15:59,953 You're the one who wanted to be — wanted me to buckle down 366 00:16:00,037 --> 00:16:02,289 and make you up a... roofie-juice serum 367 00:16:02,372 --> 00:16:05,500 so you could roofie that poor girl at your school. 368 00:16:05,584 --> 00:16:08,545 I mean, g— w-w-w-w-w— w— are you kidding me, Morty? 369 00:16:08,629 --> 00:16:10,547 You're gonna try to take the high road on this one? 370 00:16:10,631 --> 00:16:12,090 Y-Y-Y-Y-You're a Little creep, Morty. 371 00:16:12,174 --> 00:16:13,467 Y-You're a — you're — you're — 372 00:16:13,550 --> 00:16:15,469 you're just a little creepy... creep person. 373 00:16:15,552 --> 00:16:17,179 All right, fine. I should have just listened to you 374 00:16:17,262 --> 00:16:18,805 when you refused to make the serum. 375 00:16:18,889 --> 00:16:20,724 I'm willing to accept my part of the blame for this, Rick. 376 00:16:20,807 --> 00:16:22,434 But I'll tell you something — you know what? 377 00:16:22,517 --> 00:16:24,102 You gotta accept your part of the blame! 378 00:16:24,186 --> 00:16:25,896 I'm not the one who fouled up the serum! 379 00:16:25,979 --> 00:16:27,731 I'm not the one who — who — who — 380 00:16:27,814 --> 00:16:29,191 who haphazardly, you know, 381 00:16:29,274 --> 00:16:30,859 mixed a bunch of nonsense together 382 00:16:30,942 --> 00:16:32,653 and created a bunch of Cronenbergs! 383 00:16:32,736 --> 00:16:35,030 You gotta fix this, Rick! - All right, all right, Morty. 384 00:16:35,113 --> 00:16:36,740 You know, w-w-w-we are in a pretty deep hole, here, 385 00:16:36,823 --> 00:16:39,534 but I do have one emergency solution that I can use 386 00:16:39,618 --> 00:16:41,453 that'll kind of put everything back to normal, 387 00:16:41,536 --> 00:16:42,913 relatively speaking. 388 00:16:42,996 --> 00:16:44,414 Here, Morty, put this on while I do 389 00:16:44,498 --> 00:16:46,416 a little bit of scouting. 390 00:16:58,845 --> 00:17:00,764 Wow, Rick, I gotta say — 391 00:17:00,847 --> 00:17:02,891 you really pulled a rabbit out of your hat this time. 392 00:17:02,974 --> 00:17:04,893 I mean, I-I really thought that the whole place 393 00:17:04,976 --> 00:17:06,770 was gonna be messed up for good, 394 00:17:06,853 --> 00:17:08,730 but here, you did it — y-y-you — you — 395 00:17:08,814 --> 00:17:10,482 you figured out that crazy solution, 396 00:17:10,565 --> 00:17:11,650 like you always do. 397 00:17:11,733 --> 00:17:13,485 Whoo! That's some great luck. 398 00:17:13,568 --> 00:17:15,487 Come on, Morty. Luck had nothing to do with it. 399 00:17:15,570 --> 00:17:18,532 I'm great. That's the real reason. 400 00:17:18,615 --> 00:17:20,659 Now, Morty, what do you say, buddy? 401 00:17:20,742 --> 00:17:22,494 Will you hand me a screwdriver 402 00:17:22,577 --> 00:17:24,329 so I can finish my ionic dis— defibulizer? 403 00:17:24,413 --> 00:17:26,665 Sure thing, Rick. Here's a screwdriver. 404 00:17:26,748 --> 00:17:28,959 All right, Morty. Thank you very much. 405 00:17:29,042 --> 00:17:31,962 We got one screw turn... and two screw turns... 406 00:17:32,045 --> 00:17:33,755 and... 407 00:17:38,885 --> 00:17:40,303 All right, Morty, here we are. 408 00:17:40,387 --> 00:17:42,305 Oh, my god, Rick! Is that us? 409 00:17:42,389 --> 00:17:44,266 W-W-W-We're dead! What is going on, Rick? 410 00:17:44,349 --> 00:17:45,851 I'm freaking out! 411 00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,519 Calm down, Morty! Look at me! Calm down, Morty! 412 00:17:47,602 --> 00:17:49,229 No, I can't deal with this! 413 00:17:49,312 --> 00:17:50,856 Calm yourself, Morty. 414 00:17:50,939 --> 00:17:52,441 I can't deal with this, Rick! 415 00:17:52,524 --> 00:17:53,942 - Calm down, Morty. - This can't be real! 416 00:17:54,025 --> 00:17:56,153 - You gotta calm down, Morty. - W-W-W-W-We're ripped apart! 417 00:17:56,236 --> 00:17:58,113 Shut up and listen to me! 418 00:17:58,196 --> 00:17:59,448 It's fine. Everything is fine. 419 00:17:59,531 --> 00:18:00,949 There's an infinite number of realities, Morty, 420 00:18:01,032 --> 00:18:02,701 and in a few dozen of those, 421 00:18:02,784 --> 00:18:04,745 I got lucky and turned everything back to normal. 422 00:18:04,828 --> 00:18:06,496 I just had to find one of those realities 423 00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:09,207 in which we also happen to both die around this time. 424 00:18:09,291 --> 00:18:10,751 Now we can just slip into the place 425 00:18:10,834 --> 00:18:12,335 of our dead selves in this reality 426 00:18:12,419 --> 00:18:14,004 and everything will be fine. 427 00:18:14,087 --> 00:18:15,505 We're not skipping a beat, Morty. 428 00:18:15,589 --> 00:18:16,590 Now, help me with these bodies. 429 00:18:16,673 --> 00:18:17,758 This is insane. 430 00:18:17,841 --> 00:18:19,968 Look, Morty, I'll grab myself, you grab yourself, okay? 431 00:18:20,051 --> 00:18:21,428 I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to me — 432 00:18:21,511 --> 00:18:23,430 I mean, that seems like a fair way to divvy it up. 433 00:18:23,513 --> 00:18:25,515 Rick, what about the reality we left behind? 434 00:18:25,599 --> 00:18:28,268 What about the reality where Hitter cured cancer, Morty? 435 00:18:28,351 --> 00:18:29,770 The answer is don't think about it. 436 00:18:29,853 --> 00:18:31,980 It's not like we can do this every week, anyways. 437 00:18:32,063 --> 00:18:33,607 We get three or four more of these, tops. 438 00:18:33,690 --> 00:18:35,442 Now, pick up your dead self and come on. 439 00:18:35,525 --> 00:18:36,777 Haste makes waste. 440 00:18:36,860 --> 00:18:38,987 I-I-l don't suppose you've considered this detail, 441 00:18:39,070 --> 00:18:41,573 but obviously, if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did, 442 00:18:41,656 --> 00:18:45,494 we'd be these guys right now, so, again, you're welcome. 443 00:18:48,622 --> 00:18:55,420 ? Look on down from the bridge? 444 00:18:55,504 --> 00:19:02,594 ? There's still fountains down there? 445 00:19:05,555 --> 00:19:11,353 ? Look on down from the bridge? 446 00:19:11,436 --> 00:19:18,693 ? It's still raining up here? 447 00:19:21,446 --> 00:19:29,204 ? Everybody seems so far away from me? 448 00:19:29,287 --> 00:19:36,878 ? Everybody just wants to be free? 449 00:19:36,962 --> 00:19:43,051 ? Look away from the sky? 450 00:19:43,134 --> 00:19:49,850 ? It's no different when you're leaving home? 451 00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:58,733 ? I can't be the same thing to you now? 452 00:19:58,817 --> 00:20:02,737 ? I'm just gone? 453 00:20:02,821 --> 00:20:08,451 ? Just gone? 454 00:20:08,535 --> 00:20:15,542 ? How could I say goodbye? 455 00:20:16,543 --> 00:20:20,672 ? How could I say goodbye? 456 00:20:20,755 --> 00:20:24,426 You know, the thing about a shark... 457 00:20:24,509 --> 00:20:26,887 he's got Lifeless eyes... 458 00:20:26,970 --> 00:20:28,889 black eyes, like a doll's eyes. 459 00:20:28,972 --> 00:20:30,473 When he comes at ya, 460 00:20:30,557 --> 00:20:32,475 he doesn't seem to be living until he bites ya, 461 00:20:32,559 --> 00:20:35,437 and then the — the blood, and the red, and the water... 462 00:20:36,605 --> 00:20:38,732 You ever wonder what happened to Rick and Morty? 463 00:20:38,815 --> 00:20:41,568 Sometimes. But, I'm ashamed to admit, 464 00:20:41,651 --> 00:20:47,198 now that they're gone, I'm finally happy. 465 00:20:47,282 --> 00:20:49,409 Here we are, Cronenberg Morty — 466 00:20:49,492 --> 00:20:51,036 a reality where everyone in the word 467 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:52,495 got genetically Cronenberged. 468 00:20:52,579 --> 00:20:54,664 We'll fit right in, Cronenberg Morty. 469 00:20:54,748 --> 00:20:57,125 It'll be like we never even left Cronenberg world. 470 00:20:57,208 --> 00:20:58,585 Yeah, Cronenberg Rick, 471 00:20:58,668 --> 00:21:00,462 but, you know, I'm gonna miss Cronenberg word, 472 00:21:00,545 --> 00:21:02,130 because everyone was Cronenberged all along 473 00:21:02,213 --> 00:21:03,882 like us from the beginning, you know? 474 00:21:03,965 --> 00:21:05,508 I mean, I-I wish we hadn't genetically ruined 475 00:21:05,592 --> 00:21:07,510 Cronenberg World beyond repair like we did, 476 00:21:07,594 --> 00:21:10,138 you know, and turned everyone into regular, normal people 477 00:21:10,221 --> 00:21:11,681 just walking around. 478 00:21:11,765 --> 00:21:13,350 Don't you worry about that sort of thing, 479 00:21:13,433 --> 00:21:14,517 Cronenberg Morty. 480 00:21:14,601 --> 00:21:17,896 Let's go make ourselves at home, huh? 481 00:21:21,608 --> 00:21:23,026 Did you get any of that? 482 00:21:23,109 --> 00:21:25,070 It's a good-a show!