Hey, look at us, man.
We got it pretty good, huh?
Mm, living in Santa Barbara, beautiful night,
two perfect women on our arms... How'd we do it?
Hey, hey, is this... is this pocket square okay?
- Yeah. Yeah. Looks great. - Yeah?
Wait, wait, wait, are those the right glasses
for these drinks?
Hey, hey, hey. Be cool. We got this.
Hello, hello. We're back.
Well, what does a lady have to do around here
to get a dry Martini?
Patience is a virtue.
So are broad shoulders,
but it doesn't mean I like to wait for them.
Cheers, ladies.
- Cheers. - Cheers.
Are you all right?
- Oh! - Oh!
Would someone please tell me why you would drag Gus and I
out of bed in the middle of the night
to come down here and tend to an elderly woman
who is simply resting her eyes?
This is not a crime scene.
She's not dead.
You're not dead, are you?
- Shawn. - What?
- Ah. - Will you focus, Shawn?
We need this case. Do something.
Yes. I can clearly see a victim.
In the prime of his life.
Spencer, we don't need your particular brand
of theatrics here this evening.
Go home. Go back to bed.
Lassie, are you kidding me?
The death of this man is like staring my own mortality
in the face.
If someone is out there
killing handsome and youthful bachelors
in Santa Barbara, then all of us are in danger.
Maybe not all of us. Certainly Gus and myself.
Spencer, we've been here all of eight minutes.
For all we know, he just slipped off the balcony and fell.
Well, in that case, we should all be looking
for a banana peel or a roller skate.
Perhaps a wet bar of soap,
though that seems the unlikeliest of the three.
McNab, please escort these gentlemen out of here.
Okay, Lassie. Okay, you win.
No reason to get excited.
Buzz, I think we can see ourselves out.
No sign of wrist fractures or ankle fractures.
Tell me this guy didn't try to brace his fall from 20 feet.
All right, let's start getting witness statements.
Who do you want, the creepy old ladies
or the Ken dolls?
The Ken dolls.
We're still waiting for toxicology
to confirm, but it does look like he was dead
before he hit the ground.
Appears to be poisoning.
So kudos, Mr. Spencer. Sorry, Carlton.
In Lassie's defense,
toxicology is not a science.
Actually, it's a science of studying toxins.
- Get out of here. - No, it is.
Well, I guess that does
make you look a little foolish.
You know what, I've got the home run suspect
on this one.
Once I was given five minutes to collect my thoughts,
I recognized the victim's date as one Gillian Tucker.
Formerly Mrs. Gillian Vanderholt.
I thought I recognized her.
She used to be married to Walter Vanderholt.
Closed the case on his suicide five months ago,
but something never sat right with me.
What are you getting at?
I think she murdered her husband
and got away with it.
Now she's dating our victim
and suddenly he's dead too?
Come on, chief. Let me run with this one.
What if we let them work together?
Separately, but together?
That lonely bald guy in the corner makes no sense.
Am I the only person that's freaked out
he's been sitting there the whole time?
Henry, this is your call.
You're the one in charge of consultants.
You're not afraid of the competition,
are you, Shawn?
Of course not, as long as it doesn't involve
people trying to best each other.
Well, I'm up for it.
Matter of fact, I've already won.
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com
All right, let's bag and tag everything
in the victim's medicine cabinet
and move on over to Gillian the cradle robber's.
I just... Why is it that a wealthy older man
can date a younger woman and he's a hero,
yet an older woman chooses to empower herself
and date a younger man,
she's considered some sort of social pariah?
- 'Cause it's gross. - Ugh.
Holy... ! Spencer, what the hell are you doing?
Sorry, Lassie, it was not my intent
to cause you to make that noise in front of the group.
But in order to get into the mindset of the victim,
I rented American Gigolo last night.
You think this is prostitution?
Lance Tolkin didn't have a job, Jules.
He's dating a woman twice his age
and has a super troopers pinball machine in his bedroom.
It didn't pay for itself.
Gus, I'm gonna need some help here.
Just stay out of our way, Spencer.
Killing with class:
The art of seduction through charm and sophistication.
Question is "who exactly is he killing?"
Hmm. Mm. "To Lance, one of my most artful
"and gentlemanly students.
Happy hunting. Cordially, Clive Prescott."
Clive... Prescott.
Gus, I do believe we found a lead of our own.
- How's your feet? - I can't feel them.
- Sweet. - Wait, Gus!
I need you to be my legs!
Gentlemen, if you want to continue to spend your nights
with diner waitresses and tollbooth attendants,
then by all means carry on your miserable way.
But if you want to surround yourself
with sophistication, with elegant women
who can give you anything your heart desires,
then ask yourself the question
what is the picture
that you are painting of yourself?
What is this? Like, Fight Club for butlers?
For instance, what did these two, uh, boys do wrong?
Ah, there must be some sort of mistake.
We're not students.
I'm psychic detective Shawn Spencer.
This is my partner, Chaz Bono.
"Psychic Detective."
Gentlemen, this is just what I am talking about.
If you're going to create a fake occupation,
at least make it sound real.
I'm also a pharmaceutical salesman.
Well, that sounds pathetic.
And it's certainly not sexy.
Whoa, seriously, dude,
this whole gentleman thing's not for me.
I mean, it's a little bit dated, don't you think?
What I think is that with my method,
there is no eligible woman I couldn't seduce.
How about you?
Let's just say I do fine on my own, okay?
I'm good. Really?
- Really? - What do you mean really?
What do you mean really?
When was your last successful relationship?
Define relationship.
"The way in which
"two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected
or the state of being connected."
Webster.
I hardly think Emmanuel Lewis is an authority
on relationships.
May I ask you a personal question?
Sure.
Have you ever been tested for idiocy?
We're here to conduct official police business
and we've got some pretty serious questions for you
about the death of one of your students.
Lance Tolkin.
Gentlemen, I think we can call it a day.
I'm telling you, she's not gonna show.
By now, she's probably halfway to Acapulco.
Carlton, let's not jump to conclusions.
Gillian Tucker is still a very prominent woman
in this town.
Look, O'Hara, in my book,
it's pretty cut and dry.
This sick twist
sees an opportunity to off her rich, older husband
and then she gets herself a little boy toy.
But who knows? Maybe he figures out her secret.
So she decides to off him too
and then it's on to the next set of pecs.
Maybe the killing feels good.
Like the soft, supple flesh of a man-buck.
You disturb me.
And your theory on this murder disturbs me.
And you disturb me.
- You said that twice. - Yes.
I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, officers.
This whole ordeal... since it happened,
I'm just beside myself.
I find it difficult just getting out of bed.
Miss Tucker, thank you very much
for coming down here.
We just have a couple of questions.
Please have a seat.
Thank you.
Do you recognize me, miss Tucker?
I was the Detective
looking into your late husband's suicide.
No, I believe that was a much younger man.
Less salt and pepper.
We are very, very sorry
for your loss, miss Tucker.
And, seriously... I'm sorry... you just got out of bed?
You know, you have a funny way of mourning.
You sure didn't waste any time getting back up on that horse
after your husband's death.
I'm late for a business meeting.
And I don't ride horses, Detective.
Miss Tucker, are you trying to seduce me?
Not even a little.
I'm not gonna lie, I was not in a happy marriage.
But I have my own way of mourning
and I assume you have yours as well.
What is a woman my age supposed to do, Detective, knit?
Carlton, can I talk to you for a second?
Now? Hmm?
Carlton, she is not going to a business meeting.
I think she's going on a date.
What makes you say that?
Well, who's she doing her hair and makeup for, you?
Maybe.
Carlton, it's called being a detective
and a woman.
She's being interviewed by two homicide cops
and she's primping like that?
Not for a meeting.
And if she's lying about where she's going,
she's lying about other things too.
Maybe you're right.
We should tail her.
That's not what I said.
O'Hara, would you stop disagreeing with me
when I'm agreeing with you?
Mm.
Can you tell us about Lance Tolkin?
"Can I"?
Meaning do I have the neurological
and verbal ability to do so?
Sorry. Will you?
I've heard it both ways.
Maybe on a farm you have.
Lance Tolkin had not yet mastered the art
of, um... manners.
I'll leave it at that.
I'm sensing the exact opposite.
Didn't you refer to him
as one of your most "artful" students?
One point for you, psychic.
Did something happen between you two?
Look, was he a good student? Yes.
Did he show potential?
Perhaps more than the others.
He was good. But maybe not as good as he thought.
You sound a little angry.
Anger is easy.
A gentlemen takes his ire and turns it into insight.
That's in chapter three of my book.
Good day.
What is that?
"Dear gentlemen, thank you for your inquiries
"about the death of my former student
"Lance Tolkin.
"Good luck with the investigation.
Cordially, Clive Prescott."
- What the...? - It's a thank you note.
This is what I'm talking about.
This guy's playing with us, Gus.
This whole gentleman thing is a sham.
I'm gonna prove it too.
Eyes peeled, O'Hara.
This is where we let her hang herself.
What... Guster, what the he...?
That's a good way to get yourself shot.
What the hell are you wearing, Spencer?
I ain't Spencer. I'm soup can Sam.
And unlike some detectives,
when Gus and I show up for a stakeout,
we try to blend in with the regular people.
Who's Gus supposed to be?
I'm a regular guy in a car.
I'll blend in fine.
Well, at least someone finally realized
who the right suspect is.
I guess someone did.
Wait, he thinks we're tailing her?
Shh.
She's obviously meeting a new boy toy.
Maybe one even younger than the last.
Younger?
Who do you think she's meeting with, Justin Bieber?
Lassie, have you considered the possibility
that she's the victim here?
Oh, shh, here we go.
Who the hell is that? That's our guy.
Clive Prescott.
Shawn, what are you getting at?
We know who the murderer is.
And we have the home run suspect.
And he is Santa Barbara's biggest dirty rotten scoundrel.
The cops already got my statement
the night of the crime.
I know. We read your statement,
but we have questions of our own.
We now believe someone may have poisoned Mr. Tolkin's drink.
Do you remember what his drink orders were that night?
Normally I wouldn't, but his caught my attention.
It was different. Classy. Cool.
- Yes. Sea breeze. - No. Uh, gabardine hightail.
Two parts brora scotch. One part Drambuie.
A teaspoon of honey. It was Mr. Tolkin's favorite.
In fact, miss Tucker brought her private bottle
of brora scotch for me to keep behind the bar that night
just for Mr. Tolkin.
Did she now?
We're gonna need that bottle.
Yes, dad. We're following him now.
I'm surprised you didn't ask to sit in the back seat.
Your hunch was more than good, Shawn.
Prescott's last known liaison
was Lorraine Belle,
one of the wealthiest widows in Santa Barbara.
Maybe we should check her out when we're finished here.
Yeah, it's gonna be kind of hard.
She's dead.
She went on vacation with Prescott to South America.
Never came back. Died in a drowning accident.
That's interesting, pop, but he's slowing down.
We got to go. Wait, wait, Shawn.
I think this guy's dangerous.
I want you to be careful. I promise.
I think my dad's starting to like me.
Look at that, Gus, he's literally taking her
to the bank.
What's the next stop, the cleaners?
Dude, I thought you said we were just gonna follow him.
That wouldn't be very much fun now would it, Gus?
What are you gentlemen doing here?
I'm here to see my money.
They keep it in a special room in the back
with a trampoline.
I'm gonna roll around in it for a while.
Maybe make it rain.
Sort of like that movie indecent proposal
except no sex... Maybe sex.
Miss Tucker, I'm Shawn Spencer.
Psychic Detective for the SBPD.
I'm sensing that you enjoy the company
of younger men.
And for obvious reasons,
I can't take my eyes off of you.
If you're done sniffing us, we have an appointment.
Excuse us.
- What the hell was that? - The manager's hair?
- No. - You heard what my dad said.
This guy fleeces women and they end up dead.
We got to keep him away from her,
slow down this train
until we have the proof that we need.
Shawn, is this about your ego
and trying to prove you have more game than this guy?
Gus, I've never been more offended.
That would be a nice bonus.
You're on your own.
Miss Tucker, I apologize for being so abrupt,
but as a psychic, my gift is connection.
Knowing without saying. Learning without asking.
Eating without chewing.
It would be my pleasure to accompany you
on the town this evening.
Perhaps we could paint it purple
since we were both born in February.
That's amazing. How did you do that?
Little bit of this, whole lot of that,
and just a tinge of...
Um, would you mind if I had a word
with Mr. Spencer?
What do you think you're doing?
Obviously, I'm flirting with a newly available widow
that happens to be your dear, dear friend.
Yeah, well, you're way out of your league.
So why don't you back out?
Oh, you think I can't handle your game?
It's not a game. That's your first mistake.
You just pushed my competitive button
and now it's on.
I'd be frightened if you were wearing any buttons.
Miss Tucker, I am so sorry to have exposed you
to these juvenile antics.
Clive, I think he's rather adorable.
So is a gibbon, but have you ever tried to eat with one?
Now, this man-boy here lacks all culture, elegance,
and he smells of buffalo wings.
Ha! That is where you are wrong, sir.
What you're smelling are buffalo wing flavored
Snyder's pretzels of Hanover.
- It's America's pretzel. - And Hanover's, obviously.
Do you see now why this would be such a bad mistake?
- Gillian, have you ever dated a man who was triple-jointed?
- Wow. - No, I can't say that I have.
That's a shame.
I was hoping to discuss it with you tonight
on our date.
Well, I must say you are an original,
Shawn Spencer.
And I think it would be a breath of fresh air
to dine with you,
and precisely what I need right now.
You've got to be kidding me.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to leave right now
or I'm not gonna be ready for tonight. I'm sorry, Clive.
Guess you'll have to open this safety deposit box
some other time.
One stipulation.
My friend Eugenia was recently disappointed
by a gentleman friend
and she could use some company.
Do you have someone for her?
As a matter of fact,
I have the perfect gentleman.
Shawn, this isn't happening.
Gus, don't be George Hamilton's reaction
when Ashley came to him
and said "dad, I think I'll become an actor too."
Keep an open mind. This is about solving a murder.
Hello, ladies. Your tramps have arrived.
Hello.
Well, first things first.
I always like to give a little get-to-know-you something.
Oh, my goodness. I don't know what to say.
This is... Wow.
This is a little bit awkward,
only because I don't wear earrings.
I mean, I used to back in the day.
Three of them. But that was just because of tears for fears.
- Shawn, those are cufflinks. - Course they are, Gus.
Don't be ridiculous. Oh. Um, Gus.
Yes.
Uh, would you care for some gum?
Oh, I only have, uh, one piece left.
We could split it.
Eugenia's been staying with me since Walter died.
She doesn't like to go out much.
It hasn't worked out with any of the men
I've set her up with.
Maybe Gus will be the one.
Genie, isn't Gus handsome?
Ooh.
Eugenia, don't look. Don't look. Don't look.
Gabe McKinley's over there with that tramp, Olivia Ainsley.
Oh.
Gabe was Eugenia's date at the benefit.
It didn't work out.
- Ah. - I can't imagine why.
We both are so sorry to hear that.
You're not pulling your weight.
I'm trying.
Every time I smile at her, she puckers at me.
I'm not used to the pucker, Shawn.
Gillian said she's into gardening.
Ask her about flowers.
I don't know anything about flowers.
Just ask her something!
Ah, sorry. So, Eugenia...
- Yes. - Exactly how old are you?
This is the Limoux Viventi Cabernet Dumont.
- Oh. - May I?
"May you" or "can you"?
I think he got it right the first time.
All right.
Actually, we haven't ordered wine.
This wine is compliments of the gentleman
sitting right there.
Oh.
He's getting up. Take him out.
What? "Take him out"?
- Sweep the leg. - I'm not sweeping his leg.
Why won't you ever sweep the leg?
Good evening, everyone.
Well, this is unfortunate, isn't it?
To walk all the way over here
only to discover that there is not room
at this table for you.
Ouch. Shawn, don't be silly.
There's an empty seat right here.
Thank you for that gracious invitation.
I don't know how much of a wine connoisseur you are,
Mr. Spencer, but I think you will find the Dumont
both nutty and shy.
Very familiar.
That was Gus on the first day of kindergarten.
- Shawn. - It's true.
You didn't talk to anyone
and you peed in your cubbyhole.
I'd say that's pretty nutty, wouldn't you?
- Okay, excuse me. - I'm going to join her.
- What's up? What's up? - You boys play nice.
Not together.
Look at you.
You're like a scared chicken at a slaughterhouse,
and I've just rattled your cage.
You're right about the cage.
But I'm a rabid hamster
and I'm just getting started, Jack.
- Hello, Professor. - Mr. McKinley.
I see you're with miss Ainsley tonight.
Why, yes, I am, sir. First date.
Seems to be going well. Good for you.
Think you've dated everyone in this restaurant.
Well, sir, I learned from the very best.
But perhaps I'm not as good as Mr. Spencer.
You're here with miss Tucker?
Hmm. I was under the impression she was off limits.
- Off limits? - Well, yes.
Uh, everyone was fair game except for her.
Isn't that right, Professor?
I guess that makes you a very brave man, Mr. Spencer.
Doesn't anyone use first names anymore?
- Hey, good luck. - Yeah.
Yeah, won't be needing any of that.
What's the deal with... I don't... it goes...
We must remember this wine when we go to Peru.
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
Clive is taking me on a business trip to South America.
I've decided to invest in art.
And he's found a wonderful painter in Lima
that he thinks I might be interested in.
She went on vacation with Prescott to South America.
Never came back. Died in a drowning accident.
Gillian, it's a little stuffy in here, don't you think?
Little bit?
Why don't you say the four of us roll on out,
hit some place a little less prescotty.
Well, where did you have in mind?
Creates the perfect crisscross.
That's it. Symmetry. Symmetry.
Allowing all the toppings to snuggle up
and get warm under a blanket of cheese.
And bite.
- Mm-mm. - Mm.
- Mm's right.
- Mm. - Mm-hmm.
Okay, this makes no sense. How could she not be into me?
- Why do you care? - I didn't, but now I do.
No one over the age of 32 shuts this down.
Would you stop thinking about your ego
and start thinking about this case?
My ego?
Gillian, I for one am having a marvelous time.
Mm. Me too.
But I need to ask you a teensy-weensy little favor.
Actually, it's more like this.
For the next couple of days,
do you think that you could not speak to
or hang out with Prescott?
And also maybe not go to Peru with him either?
Shawn. Are you already jealous?
Not sure how I feel about that.
Clive is just a friend.
You want to touch my head?
Women of all ages and races say it has magical powers.
I'm good.
Lassie and Jules. Well, what a surprise.
One... Gus, I thought you put a sock on the door.
One second.
I know your type.
You don't like "The Telegraph."
You like your man to surprise you.
I hear that.
What are you guys doing in our personal space?
We don't want to rain on your early bird special,
but we thought you should know you're dating our prime suspect.
This is not a date. Come on.
We're working. This is an investigation.
We get it. You know, it's hard out there.
Not everybody has as many choices.
Don't be ashamed.
You don't seriously think that Gus and I
are interested in these women?
Look, I don't know about you guys,
we're trying to solve a murder here.
Oh.
- Excuse me. - Mm-hmm.
- What's going on? - You tell me.
Oh. Oh, that? It's not what it looks like.
No. We get it.
Apparently while you and Spencer
are exploring your disturbing new fetish for older women,
O'Hara and I were discovering we were right about Tucker.
Gillian had access to the bottle of scotch
Lance was going to be drinking that night
and she may have poisoned it.
Was he drinking a gabardine hightail?
Prescott created that drink. It's in his book.
Prescott taught Lance everything.
He knew what he would order.
And Prescott could've easily spiked that punch.
Now, if you don't mind,
Gus is a little busy
trying to get some sweet nookie off his old auntie.
- For the case. - For the case.
- Good luck. - Go get 'em, tiger.
You know, Gus, I can imagine a world
where I get a little frisky with Gillian Tucker.
I don't think I need to round the bases.
But, you know, slide into second safely
feels sufficient.
I got the double pullback, Shawn.
She rejected me. I mean, what is that?
She smelled like mothballs.
Sometimes you smell like styrofoam. I dig it.
What are you talking about, Shawn?
I never told you that before?
Bottom line is we kept Prescott away from Gillian.
He backed off. Means we win, right?
Ah. I don't feel right.
I hate to say this, but I think we may have gotten
some bad pineapple on that pizza.
How's your stomac? I'm fine.
Really? Ah. Maybe it wasn't pineapple.
Maybe somebody got to my wine at the restaurant.
Oh! Gus, I see a bright light.
I think I should go towards it.
- Okay, stop playing, Shawn. - I'm going.
Take care of my great Dane Lothar.
You don't have a great Dane, Shawn.
Get a great Dane! Name him Lothar!
Okay, what are you talking about?
I was poisoned, buddy. I'm sure of it.
But I know who killed me.
Remember, it was Prescott who killed me.
Shawn, the doctor's here to talk to you.
Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Spencer, but there's no question.
You were poisoned. Oh, God, Gus, I knew it.
I told you. I told you I was poisoned.
Shawn, I slept with Stacey Whitaker
when we were at the cabin summer of junior year.
I know you had a crush on her and I'm really sorry.
There's also no question you're going to be fine.
When I say sleep, I mean literally sleep.
I was so tired that night. I mean pooped.
Sawing logs. Zzzzzzz.
You were barely poisoned.
There were just traces in your system.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You mean I'm not gonna die?
Well, maybe from all the tapioca pudding
and raisins in your stomach,
but not from the poison.
That was my tapioca, Shawn. You son of a...
- Shawn, how are you? - Papa.
Daddy, come. Come closer. Come and hug me.
Shawn. Shawn. Lassiter is interviewing Gillian
and Prescott at the station.
You should be there.
I vouched for you. Do not make me look like a fool.
- Dad, I was poisoned. - I heard "barely."
Come on. Get your pants on. Let's go.
What are you do...? Aah!
Where were you after you left the restaurant last night?
Detective, have you ever read Lady Chatterley's Lover?
Let's stay on point, Mr. Prescott.
- So you haven't read it? - In college, yeah.
It was a long time ago.
It's just that with your corn silk hair,
you might've stepped right out of its pages.
Wow.
Do you, like Lady Chatterley, feel trapped emotionally?
Longing? The need... the desire to be held?
Oh, my... This flowery crap actually works on you?
If you had read the book, you would understand, Shawn.
This man has actual insight to the psyche of a woman.
I saw all the Emmanuelle movies
including the one where she changed races.
I think I have plenty of insight into the female psyche.
Thank you. Now will you admit that your book is dated
and that I have more game than you?
- I will not. - All right.
Will you admit that you tried to murder me last night
by poisoning my person?
I certainly will not.
And my understanding is that you were barely poisoned.
Okay, why do people keep qualifying that?
Mr. Prescott, you have my sincerest apologies.
You're free to go.
Pick up your id with the officer at the front desk.
What? Are you kidding me? Did you come in here to kid me?
I had to let Gillian go as well.
We don't have enough to hold either one of them.
Hey, dad, get in here. No, my other father.
Would you please come in here?
Look, you have been on my side from the beginning.
You cannot allow them to release this guy.
I know you from somewhere, don't I?
Yes. Yes, I remember you now.
A gentlemen never forgets a name.
Let's see. Henry. Henry William Spencer.
He's the only student I ever had to kick out.
You got kicked out of his seminar?
You didn't kick me out. You invited me to leave.
Read between the lines, sir.
Oh... Oh, dad, this is good... This is too good.
This is too rich.
Not only did you take the seminar,
you were invited to leave? Oh, my God, dad.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Focus, Shawn.
One more. Chandler Bing style.
Oh, my God!
Look, we can still nail this guy.
Prescott was dating another woman.
A Harriett, uh, Finestatt.
He was seeing her at the time of her death.
A month later, the company goes kaput.
Great. Dad, that's exactly what we need.
Shawn, I want you to give me some time
to substantiate all this.
You are so close. It's all starting to take shape.
I want you to start to think like a detective.
We sit on it. Got it? Got it.
The idea is to attack and conquer.
Love doesn't come to you. You go find it.
Slay it if necessary, but get it and bring it back.
Any questions? I've got one.
Oh, brother. Yes?
Why is that you will stop at nothing
to steal women's money and ultimately murder them?
- That's ridiculous and untrue. - Really?
Well, then perhaps you wouldn't mind talking to the class
about the death of Harriett Finestatt.
What do you want me to say?
You want me to talk about her cancer?
How I was at her bedside for months and months?
Or should I tell you about how her ungrateful sons
took all of her money and drove her business
into the ground?
Neither of those things.
Obviously we're very sorry for your loss.
But... - Uh-oh.
What about the woman in South America, hmm?
The one who supposedly drowned.
Come on.
Lorraine? She was killed by a stingray.
Now unless you're accusing me of hiring a sea creature
as a hit man...
Okay, well, tell me this:
What do you do when a woman who's much older than you
spurns your advances?
Gus, come on. A little decorum.
What? You just accused him of death by stingray.
Well, why was Gillian off limits then, huh?
Why don't you paint us that picture?
You want a real picture, Mr. Spencer?
I do want the real picture.
So drop the gentleman act and say something real.
Why Gillian? Because...
- Because what? - Because I...
- Because what? - Because I love her!
Because I love her, all right?
I am a cad and a deceiver.
And I am hopelessly, ridiculously in love.
"Dear Prescott, I am deeply sorry
"that I accused you of trying to kill me.
"Good day. I said good day, sir.
Signed, Shown Spencer."
You misspelled your name.
- I did that on purpose. - No, you didn't.
You're right.
I was in a hurry and I didn't have spell check.
You need spell check for your own name?
- Gus. - So what are you gonna do now?
Well, to tell you the truth, Mr. Guster,
my advice is just words on a page.
"Attack and conquer." It's nonsense.
It doesn't work with a person of actual substance
like Gillian.
I've got to do something. Gentlemen, I'm going to propose.
Ooh.
Exciting for you. No, it's exciting for you.
It's terrifying for me. I have no idea what I'm doing.
That's why I'm asking Eugenia for tea.
I'm hoping her friend can give me advice
on how to approach her.
Well, hopefully she's not as stingy with her advice
as she is with her gum.
Oh, well, you have to take into account her circumstances.
- What circumstances? - You don't know?
Eugenia's practically penniless.
Gillian takes care of her.
My friend Eugenia was recently disappointed
by a gentleman friend
and she could use some company.
Dude, Gabe McKinley was dating Eugenia.
He broke up with her.
He realized Eugenia had no money.
He chose the wrong woman.
His buddy scored the big fish, Gillian.
Gabe was jealous.
Jealous enough to poison him to get him out of the way.
Jealous enough to poison me.
- Slightly. Yes. - Sli...?
We better call Jules and Lassie.
Where's Gabe McKinley? Where is he?
On three.
- Yes, I'll hold. - Stop.
This is what Gabe was drinking in the sauna.
Looks like we may have another poisoning on our hands.
Cufflinks.
Wait a minute.
Gabe was having an affair with Gillian
and that is the reason that he is dead.
Lance was dating Gillian and that is the reason
that he was poisoned.
And because I went on one date with Jillian,
someone tried to barely poison me.
Now I'm saying it. Thank you. That was the lab.
The toxicology reports are conclusive.
The principal toxin found in the poison
that Lance ingested is called naphthalene.
- Naphthalene? - Naphthalene.
- What-phthalene? - Naphthalene.
Naphthalene?
Does this mean anything to you?
In more ways than one. Mothballs, Shawn.
Eugenia smelled like mothballs.
But it wasn't her. It was the garden.
The main ingredient in mothballs is naphthalene.
- Naphthalene? - That's enough.
She used them as a pesticide,
but they become highly lethal if they're ingested.
It's the perfect old person's murder weapon.
The mothball. Of course it was her.
That's what she used to poison Gabe's energy drink
and Lance's scotch.
Lassie, you can send me
a thank you note later.
Well, technically, you have seven days.
Yeah or you should really try to do it sooner.
- You really should. - We need to find Eugenia.
Where is she? With Prescott.
Oh, no.
He's about to drop the bomb
that he's gonna propose to Gillian.
If we don't get there in time,
he's victim number three.
Cripe's sake. Come on!
Move those vehicles!
Let's go!
We have to get up there before it's too late.
I'm aware of that, O'Hara.
What am I supposed to do, shoot my way
up the hill? I will.
- Or... - Shawn, what are you doing?
Shawn, get back in the car!
We're gonna take a shortcut!
We'll meet you up there!
Meet them up there? Have you lost your damn mind?
Oh, screw this.
What are you doing?
Carlton! Come on.
There we go, you...
- Great. - Son of a...
Shouldn't a case
with an older woman killing people
be less athletic?
Hang in there, buddy.
Think about the cucumber finger sandwiches
waiting for us up top.
- Oh, may I help you? - We need to get in.
Of course you do. Do you have a reservation?
I'm afraid I cannot seat you without a reservation.
However, I'd be more than happy to recommend another tea service
where perhaps pinecone chips are an accepted part
of the dress code.
Lassie, you don't have a reservation.
Prescott! Don't drink that tea!
Good lord. Please control yourself.
There is a lady present. She is not a lady.
She is a murderess. And a lesbian.
We'll get to that in a minute. Isn't that right, Eugenia?
Think about it.
No one stood to lose more than Eugenia
if Gillian got serious with somebody.
You're in love with her.
It was always just the two of you.
And in your mind, it always would be.
Lassiter was right.
Gillian's late husband Walter
did die under mysterious circumstances.
But not at Gillian's hands.
At yours.
Isn't that right, Eugenia?
Eugenia's been staying with me since Walter died.
She doesn't like to go out much.
And it hasn't worked out with any of the men
I've set her up with.
Poor Gus here never stood a chance, did he?
You only had eyes for Gillian. Of course.
Now it makes sense.
That's why she gave me the pullback.
She gave you the pullback?
No one appreciated her like I do.
She always chose the wrong man.
I wanted what was best for her,
and to make sure she didn't get hurt.
- I was protecting her. - Boo-hoo. Stand up.
You better cuff her before she kills everyone
in this restaurant.
I always thought Gillian and I
would spend our final days together.
Come on, lady. Let's go.
As you know, gentlemen,
I shall not be teaching the class
for the next two weeks,
as I shall be on my honeymoon.
Yes. But I have arranged during that time
to present you with the wisdom of several guest speakers,
the first of which is a man I've come to know quite well
over the last week.
So without further ado,
I present to you psychic detective
and true gentleman, Shawn Spencer.
You know, my best friend Burton Guster
said that we could all afford
to be a little more gentlemanly in life.
And you know what? He was dead wrong about that.
Wow.
But I'll tell you what I can see.
The way I think is the right way to do things
is not the only way.
- It's barely a way at all. - Well, it's my way.
It's not a real way.
If it's the way I approach something,
it qualifies as a way.
But it's not a very good way.
Clive, I think you should settle down.
All right.
We can all afford to grow up a bit.
Even me. Especially you.
Truth is, I want to change. I need to change.
You got that right.
I want my father on his deathbed...
four or five years from now...
to look at me and say "that... that is the man
that I raised."
And I want him to be pointing at some other guy.
Because that means that maybe...
just maybe... I am not his biological son.
Oh.
Hello. Thanks for taking the time to see me.
- What do you want? - Okay. Okay.
It's not a huge deal. I just need to hear it from you.
You not being interested in me,
that's solely because, you know,
that you are, you know.
- In love with a woman? - Yes. That.
You do realize I'm in here
because I'm being charged with a triple homicide, right?
Yes. I get it. You're busy.
I'm busy too.
It's just that it's been bothering me
because you dated that other guy in the beginning
at the benefit.
Yes. But I killed him.
Right. I hear that.
Would you have felt better if I had tried to kill you too?
Well...
You know, you should meet a nice girl
and... and focus on her.
And never ever come back here.
Okay.
Sync & corrected by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com