(theatrical music)
(bright uplifting music)
(audience cheers and applauds)
- Good evening, theater nerds.
Welcome to "Play It by Ear," the musical improv show.
I'm your host, Mano Agapion, and I'm so glad you're here.
Let's go ahead and meet today's wonderful cast, eh?
(upbeat music begins)
We've got Zach Reino,
(upbeat music continues)
Jess McKenna,
(upbeat music continues)
Jiavani,
(upbeat music continues)
and Ross Bryant.
(upbeat music continues)
This is the cast of today's show!
How y'all doin'?
- Hey Mano.
- Remember that old Mario Party game, where all you did
was blow up a balloon? - Oh, I love that game!
- This does seem like what the avatar does
while it waits for you. - Yeah, yeah.
- Mario for life. - [Jess] Okay.
- Fuck Sonic! - [Zach] Whoa.
- Talk about something I know!
(Mano laughs) Ugh!
- Let's get into it. You ready?
(Jiavani giggles)
Around the world,
sports fans root for their heroes with passion.
But tonight's group of underdog athletes
don't always get the recognition they so deserve.
In a musical that highlights the importance of perseverance,
they'll strive to prove themselves.
Please, enjoy, "Cornhole in One."
- [Ross] (chuckling) Okay. (bright piano music begins)
- All right, everyone, listen,
we're not state champions for nothing,
- That's right. so let's represent
this state, the great state of
- Iowa. - Iowa.
- We're the home of corn.
- Even though cornhole, as I understand it,
doesn't have a ton to do with corn.
Maybe the bags were filled with corn at one point.
- Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
We could get into the history, but we all know it.
- If we get into the granular history of cornhole,
we'll be here all day.
- Yeah. - And we can't do that,
'cause we gotta stay focused on the game,
and not the tantalizing history.
(Mano chuckles)
♪ Because the game is the thing ♪
♪ We need our minds on lock ♪
♪ Instead of thinking of the fascinating history ♪
♪ Which we all know would leave the world in shock ♪
♪ All the crazy details and famous people ♪
♪ Who opened up their souls ♪
♪ In the invention of this game, cornhole ♪
♪ But don't do that ♪
♪ Focus on the win ♪
♪ Focus on the goal ♪
♪ Don't do that ♪
♪ Focus on the win ♪
♪ Cornhole ♪
♪ Get my head in the game ♪
♪ That's what I'm gonna do ♪
♪ I won't talk about how cornhole was invented in 1872 ♪
♪ Don't talk of that ♪ ♪ Don't do that ♪
♪ No, don't do that ♪
♪ Yes, we could talk about ♪
♪ How before they made the bag, it was a sack ♪
♪ But don't do that ♪
♪ Don't do that ♪ ♪ Don't do that ♪
♪ We could talk about Phineas Corn ♪
♪ The inventor of cornhole ♪
- Phineas! - Phineas!
♪ Corn ♪
♪ Start with leftover corn ♪
♪ Brought it under control ♪
♪ Had the genius idea ♪
♪ That his spirit would never lag ♪
♪ To build a game, an amazing game ♪
♪ Where corn meets bag ♪
♪ But don't do that ♪
♪ Focus on the goal ♪ ♪ Focus on the win ♪
♪ Focus on the goal ♪
♪ Don't do that ♪
♪ Focus on the win ♪
♪ Cornhole ♪
♪ Focus on the throw ♪
♪ Throwing so strong ♪
♪ Feel the roots of the corn ♪
♪ Feel the history that goes back so long ♪
♪ And we could talk about Jennifer Fleet ♪
♪ And how she pioneered ♪
♪ The twisting motion ♪
♪ But don't do that ♪
♪ Don't do that ♪
♪ Focus on the win ♪
♪ Focus on the goal ♪
♪ Don't do that ♪
♪ Focus on the win ♪
♪ Cornhole ♪
Go Iowa!
- Wow! So cornhole is a really exciting sport.
- Yes. - A storied sport.
- You could hear about Phineas Corn,
or Jennifer - Jennifer.
- Jennifer Fleet. - Fleet.
- Fleet? - But not in this musical.
- No way. - But not in this musical.
- Not in this one. - Not in this musical.
Well, we'll see. - Well.
- We'll see.
- The only thing I absolutely want in this next scene
- [Zach] Mm-hm.
- is an accent that's absolutely impossible to pinpoint.
- (chuckles) Aw, Team Iowa, you are so cute.
- Wow, nice try. - Wow, Team Iowa.
- Look at you showing up all so cute.
- Very adorable, Team Iowa.
- Oh, you know,
you might be one of those corny states,
but where we come from, we call it bags.
- Bags! Bags with a z.
- B-A-G-Z bagz!
- But that's wild.
How can you play a game called bagz
when it was invented by Phineas Corn?
- Oh my gosh, y'all, there's an international competition
here. - I thought
we were just playing some friendly regional
competition. - Oh, contraire.
You're also playing the team from the country we
come from. - Come from.
Actually, we have reserved this area to practice.
So, you better get off
like I'm sinking a bag in the hole.
The game we call
- [All] bagz.
- Phase one, mind games, great success.
- People think that the game of bagz begins
when a bag leaves the palm.
- It begins so long before,
while you research your opponent's parents' names.
So you can say, "I don't know, would Roberta be proud?"
- I like this.
In fact, whatever song comes from this,
I just wanna make sure
that there are as many fake cuss words
from your fake country as possible.
- Oh, very real country, Mano.
- Yeah, if you're watching this on international YouTubes,
and you're from this country, this is not safe for school.
(Mano laughs)
(rock music begins)
♪ Your girls'll get flonked ♪
- Oh!
♪ Flonked all day and night ♪
♪ And when we flonk you so hard ♪
♪ You'll be like, ah, gazorps ♪
♪ I've never been flonked, all right ♪
(Mano chuckles)
♪ You little trunking fluffer ♪
- Oh! - Yo!
♪ With oots for brains ♪
♪ We're 'bout to flonk you so hard ♪
♪ That all your little brains will never be the same ♪
♪ Because we're the gornk ♪
(Mano laughs)
♪ You better get out of our way ♪
♪ And you're going to slurk my jarnd today ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ That's right, we're the flonk ♪
♪ We're the flonk ♪
♪ Get out of our way ♪
♪ And you're gonna slurk my jernd ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ Not sorry ♪
♪ Oh, hey, little person walking down the street ♪
♪ Uh-huh ♪
♪ I bet you didn't expect to see a big meef ♪
♪ Unh ♪
♪ One swinging on the street right into your face ♪
♪ I'll heg you down and I'll brinkle your face ♪
♪ I'm sorry, was that too many meefs for you ♪
♪ Well, I'm so sorry ♪
♪ Here's what you should do ♪
♪ Take your glevis and your glorfs ♪
♪ And put 'em into your heart ♪
♪ And keep them quiet forever ♪
♪ Because we're the dork ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Get out of our way ♪
♪ And you're gonna slink our dirks ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ And yeah, meef, meef ♪
♪ We'll say it again ♪
♪ Meef, meef, we'll, say it again ♪
♪ We say meef, meef ♪
♪ You think that that's dumb ♪
♪ It's not dumb in where we come from ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, we're the jork ♪
♪ Get out of our way ♪
♪ And you're gonna slurk our gerfs ♪
♪ Today ♪
♪ And now only listen to him ♪
♪ Only listen to him meef ♪
♪ Oh, listen to how he meefs all his fleeks ♪
♪ And you can't even compete with these leafs ♪
♪ Meef, meef ♪
(upbeat rock music)
♪ And also, meef ♪
♪ And still meef ♪
♪ Oh, yes, because ♪
♪ We're the flonks ♪
♪ Get out of our way ♪
♪ Guess what, 'cause you're gonna slurf our gorks ♪
♪ Today ♪
- Ugh - Yeah.
- Yeah! That was filthy.
- I cannot wait to see how this gets closed captioned.
(all laughing) - Oh my.
- Whoever has to transcribe. - What a nightmare.
- I'm not confident I ever said the same thing.
- I have no idea. I know for sure I didn't.
- The only thing I wanna see in this next scene
is someone who's very suspicious of the ceiling.
- Welcome, welcome, welcome back, sports fans.
It's another gorgeous day on the field
for our first annual international cornhole competition.
- I'm seeing a lot of cornhole players
that we haven't seen before in the sport.
- I thought it was gonna be a big year for Kansas,
but, unfortunately, they all got
in a unicycle accident. - The unicycle accident.
(Zach laughing)
- So, I think the big hope for the American side
is Team Iowa.
- But there's something about their chemistry,
about their camaraderie, - Yeah, ha.
- that seems to be falling apart
- Deb, ha. - at the seams of the bag.
- Deb, I gotta stop ya.
What's it doing up there?
(Mano laughs)
And has it been here the whole time?
- What are you seeing there, Carol?
What are you seeing there, Carol?
- Normally, there's a blue sky above us,
sometimes it's cloudy, sometimes it's clear,
but now we're inside.
- The ceiling? - What's it doing?
What's it doing?
- Do we need to, can we cut?
- Can we cut, can we cut? - We're live.
Go to commercial. Are we okay right now?
- Just answer, can anyone tell me what's it doing?
- The ceiling is protecting us from the elements, Carol.
- Okay, did everyone know it could be here?
Did we invite it?
Did it have a press badge? - So sorry.
- Normally, mine go like this.
If I can, mine normally go,
everyone, I'm sorry to freak you out.
Mine normally go like this.
This one's going like this. - The cable's beneath you.
- Can we get some bounce boards above Carol
to have it go like this?
- I live in an A-frame,
and normally we broadcast from a barn.
So I've never seen one like this.
- I want this next song
to incorporate all the rules and etiquette
of what cornhole entails.
- Oh, yeah! (chuckles)
♪ When you wake up in the morning ♪
♪ You got to give a flick of the wrist, ha ♪
♪ And you got to make sure your knees are bent ♪
♪ And that you can make a list ♪
♪ Make a list of all the things you gotta do ♪
♪ How many corns are inside ♪
♪ Of a bean bag ♪
♪ And we all know the scoring ♪
♪ It's one negates one ♪
♪ Mm-hm ♪
♪ But if you're in the hole ♪
♪ That's three points, hon ♪
♪ But one point for landing on the board ♪
♪ No points if you skid off ♪
♪ And hey, start weeks early ♪
♪ Getting that mind off ♪
♪ But who invited the ceiling ♪
♪ Why is it lingering low ♪
♪ Who invited you, ceiling ♪
♪ I'll get to the bottom sole ♪
♪ Let's talk about placement ♪
Right.
♪ Put your feet behind the line ♪
♪ Make sure your hips are tight ♪
♪ And that your chest is in time ♪
♪ With the way that you throw ♪
♪ And take a deep breath and then you go ♪
♪ Release at 65 degrees ♪
♪ And your partner stands on the other side ♪
♪ You stand by your opponent ♪
♪ But if you've done your research ♪
♪ Then you've already known it ♪
♪ You should know their grandparents' name, their address ♪
♪ Their four socials if you got 'em ♪
♪ And also why is it low ♪
♪ Because I'm feeling like it's starting ♪
♪ To look at me and know my name ♪
♪ It's looking at me, and it knows my name ♪
Look down.
♪ Look down and then we'll talk about the game ♪
♪ And I won't think about how the ceiling ♪
♪ Is whispering my name ♪ ♪ Look down, look down ♪
♪ Be staring at your feet ♪
♪ Look down, look down ♪
♪ And focus on the scene ♪
♪ Oh my gosh ♪
♪ Now it all feels so clear ♪
♪ Someone's been playing mind games with me here ♪
♪ Was it you, was it you ♪
♪ 'Cause that's how you play the game ♪
♪ You let this ceiling in ♪
♪ And you taught the ceiling my name ♪
- No. ♪ And that's part of cornhole ♪
- Good job, everyone!
- So, yeah. - Yeah!
♪ Wrap it up ♪
All right, so we're excited to see what Iowa can get up to,
and hopefully the team from that country
doesn't give 'em too much of an upset.
Well, they'll all be here playing in the finals
of the International Cornhole Competition, the ICC.
- I'm excited to see what happens next.
I'm gonna keep it a little open.
I just wanna make sure this next scene has
some sort of a confession in it.
- Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
- You hanging in there?
- Yeah, it was stupid to think
we could all ride the unicycle together.
(Mano laughs)
You gotta promise me something.
You gotta get out there, and you gotta win for the USA.
Thank you for taking a break from the competition
to come visit me at the hospital.
- Just because I'm from Iowa, and you're from Kansas,
doesn't mean we gotta be arch-arch rivals.
- Right now we're on the same team.
Can you help me up?
- Are you sure your legs can manage?
- I'm not supposed to be up,
but I gotta look out the window
at this great American country.
- So just to confirm, it was many of you on one unicycle?
- That was how we all got hurt
in a unicycle accident. - Sure.
- We were doing it as a PR stunt, to get eyes on the sport,
to get more people to love it as much as we do.
- You can't force someone to love something as much as you.
You can't- - What are you saying?
- Is this a minor key or a major key?
- It's a major key currently.
- So let's go ahead
and sing this sad song in a major key?
- Not as hard as you think,
but okay. - Okay, okay.
Okay, then we'll strike that. - Yeah, yeah, let's do it.
No, too late, you said it! - Dammit!
- Okay, here we go.
- If we can.
(sentimental music begins)
Bryce, you've been playing for Kansas
as long as I've been playing for Iowa.
I've seen you grow.
- Clark, you too.
- Grow like a sturdy stalk of corn that whole time,
in skill, and as a man,
and I tried every single way to tell you this.
I thought I was so obvious,
but I guess I wasn't obvious enough.
♪ Cornhole, it means so much to me ♪
♪ But it can't be all there is to love ♪
♪ Cornhole, it's the tops for me ♪
♪ But for me, there's just one thing above ♪
♪ One thing ♪
♪ One obsession ♪
♪ I know you feel it too ♪
♪ Thinking 'bout that one thing ♪
♪ That one obsession ♪
♪ There's cornhole and there's ♪
♪ You ♪ ♪ Unicycles ♪
♪ I love to be on that big one wheel ♪
♪ When I look at unicycles ♪
♪ I feel it deep in here ♪
(chuckles) Sure.
♪ 'Cause they can take you so far ♪
♪ Much farther than they seem ♪
- Right!
♪ Just one wheel to carry you ♪
♪ As far as your dreams ♪
♪ But imagine, imagine if you will ♪
♪ What would you do ♪
♪ If instead of just one wheel ♪
♪ You maybe had two ♪
♪ Like it's a twonicycle ♪
♪ What else would you call a thing like that ♪
♪ It's gotta be a twonicycle ♪
♪ I'm glad we had a talk like that ♪
♪ But he can never know ♪
♪ That I just chickened out ♪
♪ What was really in my heart ♪
♪ I couldn't let it out ♪
♪ I'm thinking 'bout unicycles ♪
♪ Dang, it's hard to confess love ♪
♪ He's just thinking 'bout unicycles ♪
♪ Well, I can only keep trying ♪
♪ I'd only have myself to blame ♪
♪ If I didn't try to get his attention ♪
♪ By winning the big game ♪
♪ And someday I'll have ♪
♪ The faith to say it true ♪
♪ But until then, I'll just do ♪
♪ As much as I can do ♪
♪ To get to unicycles ♪
♪ We're both talking 'bout unicycles ♪
♪ And then we can finally say ♪
♪ Exactly how we feel ♪
♪ Every person's just a unicycle ♪
♪ Looking for a second wheel ♪
♪ Like a twonicycle ♪
I need to lie down. - Yeah.
I'll get you those ice chips.
- Amazing, beautiful, wow.
- Really cute.
- Oh boy, I don't know what's gonna happen next.
- Boy. - I do.
- Oh really? - Okay.
- Yeah. - Yeah?
- Let's see it. - What is it, Zach?
- Let's get to the competition!
- Oh! - Gotta see that ICC.
- Clark, you were late. Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine, guys. I'm fine.
No big deal. - Hey, it looks like
you've been crying, my guy.
- Huh? No, no, no, no.
Cram it down! - No.
- Put it in the hole!
- Clark, Clark! - Corn it in the hole!
- Clark, come on, you're sounding like a regular flurnk,
and that's not how Iowa plays.
- Yeah.
- Listen, as long as we come in here together, as a team,
win or lose, we win, or lose, but we win.
- Right. - Right.
- We can win, or we can lose,
but either way, we'll find ourselves winning,
or losing. - Or losing.
- Right. - And a lot of times,
for us, winning is just being friends.
- Right. - But sometimes
we're not friends, and we lose.
- Oh, that's pretty cute of you
to have win or lose, either way it's friends.
Why don't you get that meef away from me?
- That meef is getting in my head
and making me think that I'm some sort of flerter.
- You're about to slornk our dirfs.
(Mano chuckles)
- There's only one dirnk I'm gonna slurk,
if everything goes according to plan.
- I don't think it means what you think it means.
- What? Nothing.
- Nothing, nothing, nothing.
Gotta win this game!
(Zach chuckles)
(upbeat music begins)
(Jess chuckles)
- I would like part of this song to be sung as a round.
♪ Let it fly ♪
♪ Hit the board ♪
♪ Get it in the hole if you can ♪
♪ Let it fly ♪
♪ And if you need to cry ♪
♪ That's okay ♪
♪ Crying's a thing we all do, man ♪
♪ If you feel that this is a chore ♪
♪ And maybe it's starting to feel like a job ♪
♪ Then every time you let your bag soar ♪
♪ Let out a guttural sob ♪
♪ Maybe you're feeling like your hand is in motion ♪
♪ Maybe you feel like you need to let out emotion ♪
♪ Maybe you just need to feel your feelings more ♪
♪ Let your feelings soar ♪
♪ The bag is just a tear ♪
♪ Falling out my eye ♪
♪ The bag is just a tear ♪
♪ So I'm gonna let it fly ♪
♪ Our bags are just a tear ♪ ♪ The bags are just a tear ♪
♪ A bag is just a tear ♪ ♪ So I'm gonna let it fly ♪
♪ A bag is just a tear ♪ ♪ Falling out my eye ♪
♪ A bag is just a tear ♪ ♪ So I'm gonna let it fly ♪
♪ One on the board ♪
♪ Three in the hole for the USA ♪
- Yeah! ♪ We will be reaching our goal ♪
That's a really good score.
Three in the hole? That's a really good score.
♪ Oh, don't get so excited ♪
♪ Don't get ahead of yourself ♪
♪ I wonder, would Roberta ♪
♪ Put your trophy on a shelf ♪
♪ And what about Donna and Michael ♪
♪ Rayanne, and also Randy ♪
♪ Are those your parents' names, huh ♪
♪ So weird I had them handy ♪
♪ Yes, they would not be proud of you ♪
♪ If your grandparents were still alive ♪
♪ Just as sure as your social security number ♪
♪ Is six, oh, six, five ♪
(Mano laughs)
♪ Six, oh, six, five ♪ ♪ Six, oh, six, five ♪
♪ The first four digits of your social security number ♪
♪ Are six, oh, six, five ♪
(Mano chuckles)
♪ Hey team, my confidence is morphin' ♪
♪ How did they know that I've become an orphan ♪
♪ Saying my dead parents' names was low ♪
♪ I don't know if I can still go ♪
♪ Look, there's something you can choose ♪
♪ We're still a team with dreams ♪
♪ Whether we win or lose ♪
♪ So don't let their weird swears ♪
♪ Don't let them abuse ♪
♪ Because I've learned that sadness ♪
♪ Is something you can use ♪
(upbeat music continues)
Oh! Oh wow!
Y'all, it's the timeout and we're tied.
What are we gonna do? We need one last really good move.
No way, no way!
You guys, look! It's her.
It's Jennifer Fleet! Look at her!
- Whoa!
- Cornhole legend, Jennifer Fleet!
- [Ross] Cornhole icon.
- She's waving at us as if to say,
"Keep going"? - "Keep going"?
All we need is one more point in the second half,
and we can take it into sudden death.
♪ A toss, a toss, a toss, a toss, a toss ♪
♪ Toss, toss, toss your bag ♪ ♪ A toss, a toss, a toss ♪
♪ Chuck it through the air ♪ ♪ A toss, a toss, a toss ♪
♪ Toss, toss, toss your bag ♪ ♪ A toss, a toss, a toss ♪
♪ Toss, toss, toss your bag ♪
♪ A toss, a toss, a toss, a toss, a toss ♪
♪ Toss, toss, toss your bag ♪
♪ It went in there ♪
- Yes! - Yeah!
- Aw, but also,
so did ours.
- They sunk it. We're going to sudden death.
- Oh no, Deb, they're going to sudden death,
and you know what this means.
It's probably time to finally tell the people what happens
when you get to sudden death.
- Welcome to the international broadcast also of this game.
Yes, we are at sudden death, as we always knew it would be.
- Yes, our players have brought it
to the culmination of the game.
- So when we say sudden death,
we don't mean it in a figurative way.
When you go into sudden death, the loser will die.
- Oh my gosh!
- The rules of bagz are unchanged to this very day.
And so we can expect to see some bloodshed.
- Unlike the regular game of cornhole,
where you take turns on either side,
- Sure. - the four members
of your team will now take on four unique roles,
sort of like penalty kicks,
except for different, very different.
- In this final number, I just wanna make sure
that when you sing, you incorporate the phrase, "Holy hell."
- The first player, they're gonna throw their bag out there,
and they are going to have to do it blindfolded.
Now, the second player,
they have a slightly more different task.
They go back to the original origin of the game.
They must toss their bag
while completing an entire corn cob.
The corn cob must be completely consumed
by the time the bag hits the other side of the court.
The third person.
- As you know, has a very, very difficult task.
They must do a catwalk.
They must rock the runway, - Rock the runway.
- before they throw the cornhole,
and it must be stylish, it must be of the time,
it must be of the moment.
- And of course, the fourth and final player
must have an honest and vulnerable,
sweeping romantic gesture.
- All right guys, huddle up.
♪ We never knew it could come to this ♪
♪ But it can always take its toll ♪
♪ It's time for us to decide in this sudden death ♪
♪ Who's going to do what role ♪
♪ I know, I'll go and say it ♪
♪ I'll say what you all would think ♪
♪ Yes, I will eat the corn cob ♪
♪ Because I have really sharp teeth ♪
♪ And I will throw blindfolded ♪
♪ Just to start it off clear ♪
♪ And I think when it comes to rocking a runway ♪
♪ There's just one person here ♪
♪ I know it is my time ♪
♪ I know that there is only this moment ♪
♪ It's time for me to rock that runway ♪
♪ I've got this garment ♪
♪ So, Clark ♪
♪ Open your heart ♪
♪ Clark, open your heart ♪
♪ I pressed it down in my cornhole ♪
♪ Pressed it so deep inside ♪
♪ But now there's something that's welling up ♪
♪ That Clark just can't hide ♪
♪ So now it's time for me to say it all ♪
♪ The sum of all my dreams ♪
♪ Tear open these bean bags ♪
♪ And Clark's gonna spill his beans ♪
- Yes! - Okay, so now
we have the foreign country team.
The away team is gonna be going first.
So now we've got the blindfolded round.
Now we've got blurgen flurgen. - Oh, wow, blurgen flurgen.
♪ You're going to flirk my dirf ♪
Oh wow! - Wow!
♪ Here we go ♪
Luckily we've got a 10-second delay,
and they'll be able to edit that out.
♪ I will get you, bro ♪
- And now, from the Iowa team, Zack Snyder.
Release the Snyder cut.
(Mano laughs)
Both of them landed on the board, but did not sink the hole.
- Did not sink the hole. - We are tied,
one point, one point.
- And now we're going on to round two.
- This is a day where, of course,
they need to eat the whole corn cob.
The home team is at an advantage here.
Other countries, notably, don't eat as much corn
as the United States.
But let's see how our foreign person from our country does.
- Oh, this is going to be easy.
Oh, what, this?
Toss a bag and eat this corn?
Fine, I'll just pretend I'm slurking a flerg.
Ah!
- Oh, a complete, 100% insertion
of the entire corn cob.
No need for sharp teeth whatsoever.
- Once again, this is fine to air
because it doesn't mean what you think it means.
- That's right, get your minds outta the gutter,
rest of the world.
- Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.
- [Jiavani] And now we've got the Iowa team going next.
(Jess mimics chewing)
- Wow, some incredibly sharp teeth from the Iowa contender.
It looks like they have pulled ahead.
That is on the board. The other contenders are not.
The USA pulls ahead by one.
- By one, they're ahead by one.
This is a very close race.
We're gonna see what happens in the runway portion.
- The runway round comes next.
- [Jess] No, I love to see what Team Iowa can bring,
but I do sort of fear that the international team
might have the edge here.
Oh, wow. Ah.
Yep, very good. - Having incredible poses.
- Really good. Oh, wow.
She grabbed the bag, she pulled back, here she goes,
and she lets it fly.
Oh, really, really good.
- That's excellent looks, and into the hole.
They pull ahead by two points.
- Iowa's gonna have to do something big here.
(Mano chuckles)
- Okay.
- Oh wow! - Oh, wow!
- Wow! - Wow, incredible.
Great runway walking,
and we didn't expect, oh, oh, the windup, 65 degrees.
And she just over-shot, unfortunately.
That means coming into the last run,
we have the USA trailing by two points.
Let us see how Clark does,
and let us see first, the confession of love
from our national athlete.
- He's gonna have to come up with something
which might be a stretch for his icy disposition.
- And the line judge will know if it's inauthentic.
- My heart is the thing that beats within my breast.
- [Jess] Okay.
- And always feels as though
it is in a space too small for it,
that it's being compressed by the world.
There is only one person who sets it free.
And this is why I have rigged the ceilings
in the press booth
to simulate the feeling that I feel each day,
as the world lowers above me.
- Oh, oh my gosh. - You are not
just seeing things.
- Oh my gosh.
- It is for you, and you alone, that my heart beats.
And this is why the ceiling presses down over you.
- That is - For that is what it
- so crazy! - feels like within me.
- It was real. And I feel the pain that he feels.
- Oh, wow!
♪ What a magical thing to tell ♪
♪ Holy hell ♪
♪ What a magical thing to tell ♪
♪ Holy hell ♪
Oh, whoosh!
- That was emotionally visceral.
- I am so torn.
I root for Iowa,
but I think I just found my late chapter romance.
- That is on the board,
so the USA is now trailing by three points.
You don't wanna know what happens
if we get to sudden-sudden overtime.
- Oh, it looks like there's someone
coming onto the field right now, hobbling in.
It looks like it is the captain of Team Kansas.
- That's right. That's Bryce.
- This one isn't for the game.
This one's just for unicycle, you.
- Sh. - For you, Clark.
I love you.
- I've been trying to tell you in so many ways.
I felt I was so explicit.
I basically told you. - I know.
- But it couldn't ever reach you in just the right way.
- Don't tell me with words.
- Your love language is the bag.
So let me tell you exactly how I feel about you, Bryce.
(emotional music begins)
(Ross moans)
♪ And it sailed through the air ♪
♪ On a wing and a prayer ♪
♪ And it made an arc that no one ever seen ♪
♪ And it floated through the sky ♪
♪ Past birds and clouds and sun ♪
♪ And it landed, and it made ♪
♪ Three points in one ♪
♪ And the crowd got on their feet ♪
♪ And the cheers went so loud ♪
♪ And you never saw a better day ♪
♪ In any Iowan town ♪
♪ And they lifted the two lovers ♪
♪ And they lifted them to the sky ♪
♪ And then they put them down real slowly ♪
♪ 'Cause he was still mending inside ♪
♪ And that was the day ♪
♪ The bags went down ♪
♪ And that was the day they fell ♪
♪ That was the day ♪
♪ The bag went down ♪
♪ And that part of history ♪
♪ We can tell ♪
♪ Because on that faithful day ♪
♪ When history began ♪
♪ In double-double overtime ♪
♪ Everybody wins ♪
♪ Because it's just a game ♪
♪ That you should play with a beer ♪
♪ It shouldn't be about winning ♪
♪ Or deathly fears ♪
♪ And Jennifer Fleet came down ♪
♪ And she said ♪
♪ What did she say ♪
- Oh, me?
(sentimental music)
♪ Did you know I'm descended from Phineas Corn ♪
♪ Phineas Corn is in my family tree ♪
♪ And he wouldn't want any team to go on dying ♪
♪ On a count of bags that you can throw and fling ♪
♪ But if you aren't to learn this lesson ♪
♪ If you say, stay and slurp my flerg ♪
♪ Slurp my flerg ♪
♪ Then you are already missing ♪
♪ What this glorious game is for ♪
♪ Tell us where you're from ♪
♪ You have to say where you're from ♪
♪ You must tell us where you're from ♪
♪ Please, it's just personally really bothering me ♪
♪ We will tell you ♪
♪ But it's a curse in your language ♪
♪ So it will be bleeped if you are watching this on air ♪
♪ Sure, I will hear it ♪
♪ You will hear, but you will not hear ♪
♪ It will be bleeped ♪ ♪ No one in your country ♪
♪ Will hear it ♪
♪ When you hear, but you will hear ♪
♪ We are from (beep) ♪
Oh, good, good.
Good luck, everybody.
- Great. - Great job, Clark.
Great job, team.
♪ Every bag is a tear ♪
♪ But now I'll happily cry ♪
♪ Finally said my piece ♪
♪ And nobody had to die ♪
♪ If there's a cornhole in your heart ♪
♪ You can't fill it with a bag ♪
♪ You can only fill it with the truth ♪
- (chuckles) That's right, and you know.
♪ We can talk about winning ♪
♪ We can talk about how we won ♪
♪ But let's not talk about that ♪
♪ We're not talk about that ♪
♪ We'll not talk about that ♪
♪ Focus on the win ♪
♪ Focus on the goal ♪
♪ Focus on the win ♪
♪ Focus on ♪
♪ Cornhole ♪
- Flerg my jerg.
- (laughs) Bravo! Bravissima!
What a filthy wonderful show that was.
- Can you believe?
- Let's go ahead and give it up
for our incredible performers as they take a bow.
Jiavani,
(audience applauding) (upbeat music)
Jess McKenna,
(audience applauding) (upbeat music continues)
Ross Bryant,
(audience applauding) (upbeat music continues)
and Zach Reino.
(audience applauding) (upbeat music continues)
Let's go ahead and thank our amazing band.
(upbeat music continues)
Brett Morris, Eric Jackowitz,
and Scott Passarella!
That's curtains for us here at "Play It By Ear."
Once again, I'm Mano Agapion.
And remember, if you're ever unprepared,
just wing it, bitch!
Bye-bye!
(upbeat music)
(upbeat music continues)