- Tonight, Jack Nicholson
busting down the door in "The Shining," it's Josh Ruben.
- And I'll blow the door down
to play "Make Some Noise," Johnny.
- Their child having left
a bunch of LEGOs on the floor, it's Zac Oyama.
- Terry - agh!
Ugh.
Okay.
- I should have said something.
- And a sitcom actor
looking around the bar for the last time
in the series finale, it's Brennan Lee Mulligan.
- I guess it really was Cheers after all.
- They're all here to-
- "Make Some Noise!"
- Welcome to "Make Some Noise."
The game so good, we spun it off, unchanged.
I am your host, Sam Reich, and here's how the show works.
I have a series of improvisational prompts
our players have never seen before.
Isn't that right, players?
- I certainly haven't as well.
- Be news to me if I saw it. - Uh-huh.
- Our players will fulfill those prompts to the best
of their ability and I will award them corresponding points.
The winner will go home with the coveted Golden Ear.
Which I bought on the black market
along with the Golden Spleen. - Ooh.
- Ah. - Where is it?
- Players, are you ready to rumble?
- Yeah. - Woo.
- Josh. - Yeah, dude.
Let's do this.
- I bet this will be no problem.
- A mini-van to Long Island-mom transformer.
- No problem.
As I like to say, that'd be my t-shirt if we had merch.
"Here we go, kids.
Okay, kids.
Here we are.
No, you're not going to Montauk.
No one's going to Montauk, okay?
We've got some dark, dark bots to fight ahead, kids.
Thank you."
- Bravo, Josh.
Exceptionally done.
Montauk, the kids can't go to Montauk, is that?
- "Not until I say so."
- 15 points for Josh.
Zac Oyama. - Hmm?
- Someone who keeps trying and failing
to start chants in the middle of a speech.
- "Hell no, that ain't right.
Hell yes, that is right.
Hell yes.
Well?"
- Cut you off there, Zac.
A lot of- - Well done.
- Disagreement, a lot of agreement
and then some right down the middle,
- We didn't get it going.
- I will also give 15 points.
- Incredible. - To you.
Brennan.
A grizzled war vet recounts a Black Friday sales event.
- "What am I thankful for?
I guess I'm thankful
that all of you look so fat and happy,
your faces stained with cranberry sauce
like a bunch of fuckin' animals!
You know what's coming tomorrow?
It was '96.
I was posted up in the parking lot of a Sam's Club.
A bunch of these tent lickers out here
in their sleeping bags waiting for opening.
They mistook the noise of the electricity
getting turned on in the automatic doors-"
- Oh no. - "For the sounding flare.
Well goddamn, they crashed through the gate
faster than the running of the goddamn bulls.
I saw a grown man with a baby in a bjorn
punch his fist through the back of a clerk's throat,
grab the spine and make through
a plate glass window with a Tickle Me Elmo.
You better believe one thing.
When tomorrow comes,
the only thing blacker than the Friday
will be the souls of those sorry sinners
looking to get their ill-gotten goods."
- Incredible, Brennan.
I never know when to cut you off because there's a big
imaginary spotlight shining on you in my mind.
50 points for Brennan.
- Ah, man,
- Joshua. - Ah.
- A voice-disguised witness in a true crime
documentary accidentally reveals exactly who they are.
- "I watched him chop off everyone's heads.
I was really afraid to go back to work.
Being team captain, everyone looks up
to me because they call me Happy Happy
because you know, that's my name.
But yeah, I was really worried to go back to Best Buy,
especially being in the middle of Chelsea
on 23rd Street and 6th Avenue working all of the shifts.
I mean pretty much from 9:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m.,
you can find me every day of the week.
There's only so many people named Happy who work
at Best Buy in Chelsea in New York City on 23rd Street
and 6th Avenue who have beared witness to a serial killer
who's chopped off the heads of multiple people.
Did I make a big mistake and can I get eyes on this edit?"
- 100 Points for Josh, a clean 100.
Zac. - Yes?
- A scientist describing how the world
is going to end using only the contents of a bark box.
- "You're not listening to me, general.
This is a ball with a tail on it.
This is the comet heading straight for earth
and this doggy treat is the population of Washington D.C.
As the comet caresses by,
the tail sort of representing the ice freezing our planet,
this big plastic fire extinguisher
represents our missile defense system.
We can only take out so many ice trails
at a time before pew,
we're all doomed." - And cut.
Brilliant.
I will say 101 points for you. - Thank God.
- A Dalmatians ref. - Brennan.
Last prompt of round one.
- Holy shit.
- The moment in the show where
the lore goes so deep, they lose you.
- "My God.
We were wrong.
When the Nephilim were first born,
children of the eldest Seraphs and mortal beings, humans,
they broke the Divine Seal that St. Thomas Aquinas had
referred to in the initial tracts post-Nicene Council.
What we find at this point is the Seraphs
never had to venture to the earthly realm.
Those mortals had already ascended.
So in that moment, the Seventh Seal was already broken.
Lucifer's rebellion was ex post facto invalidated.
The Devil was never banished to Perdition
because Perdition never existed in the first place.
Essentially we are left with two factions,
the neutral angels that we mistook for the spirits of nature
that were warned about by the scripts and texts we found
on the clay tablets on the Isle of Mona.
Tracing those back, we can now see,
God and the Serpent were in fact one and the same,
which is why you, Ashley and Max
as two teenagers from Palo Alto, California
were selected above all others to be
the Truth Slayer and the Keeper of Lies."
- Is this when we learn
that the movie is targeted at 14 year olds?
Does this make sense to you?
- I think it's still in one piece.
- Wow. - We'll say a legendary
amount of points for Brennan.
That brings us to the minigame.
This will be a toss-up.
The players all have their buzzers.
You will now buzz in
and create bullshit in the given category.
The category is
the Vocal Warm-Up Research and Development Committee.
I want to hear the newest additions in the repertoire.
Brennan.
- The minimum amount of cinnamon
that we can be swimming in is less than 17.
- Zac.
- Cat scratch fever is made out of a deer.
Cat scratch. - Yeah, say it again.
- Cat scratch fever is made out of a deer.
- Josh.
- The ghost with the most is Beetle-Joste.
The ghost with the most is Beetle-Joste.
- Brennan.
- I horked down shark pork on my park of larb.
- Hmm.
- Zac.
- The weevil on the steeple is found among the people.
- The weevil on the steeple.
- Steeple is found among the people.
- Josh.
- Ruh-roh, rih don't know.
- Ruh-roh, rih don't know?
- Ruh-roh, rih don't know.
- Brennan.
- Nice.
- Effective as a vocal warm-up,
arguably more effective than anything we've heard so far.
Josh.
- I lost every-thring I have in Robin Hood.
- That brings us to round two where our players
will now test their talents in teams of two.
Josh. - Huh?
- And Zac. - Yes?
- Owen Wilson and his magic mirror.
- "Whoa, I've got a question."
- "I guess I got an answer."
- "Whoa."
- "Wow."
- "Wow, this is so wild."
- "That's wild, you're right in front of me."
- "I know, it's kinda like who's Owen and who's the mirror?"
- "Which one is which, you know?"
- "I guess it doesn't matter
'cause I'm a tall piece of glass
and you're my reflection in that piece of glass."
- "Exactly."
- "Or is it the other way around?"
- "Which way is it, I'm like whoa, you know?"
- "Can you tell me
if I'm gonna get another 'Zoolander' check?"
- I'll cut you off there.
We'll do 14 points for the two of you.
- Fair. - Okay.
- Zac. - Yes?
- And Brennan.
The long awaited meeting
between Times New Roman and Comic Sans.
- "I see you haven't brought any serifs.
Perhaps that's where the 'Sans' in your name comes from.
Sans from the French, 'without.'"
- "I see you have brought
your entire centurion forces behind you."
- "New centurions for a new century, my friend.
I'm gonna straight up kill you."
- "I understand that your forces are to be taken seriously
but I am a man of the people
and I wish that you would see that in your heart."
- "What mercy do you think you will find in my heart?
The fields behind me are littered with the bodies
of fonts braver and more cunning than you.
Baskerville lies dead in the dust.
Apple Chancery is nothing but a distant memory.
I struck down Helvetica.
Do you think your posted,
handwritten invitation on an old school blog,
'Come to my birthday party this weekend,
I want to insinuate that it's going to be fun?'
By the time I'm done with you,
you're gonna look like Webdings, my friend."
- "Don't you mean Wingdings?" - "What?"
- Yes - Is it Wingdings
or is it Webdings? - God, I hope it's Wingdings.
- I think it's Wingdings. - I think it's both.
- I'm not sure if they're the same thing.
- I consider part of my job here to just supply
Brennan with ideas for future seasons of "Dimension 20."
A peace sign, an email sign
and @ symbols amount of points for you.
Brennan and Josh.
- Okay. - Okay.
- A child brings a magical snowman to life
who is very concerned about dying again.
- "Okay, and now the final touch,
this carrot that I took from the kitchen.
Here we go."
- "Listen, listen, I don't have much time.
I don't have much time.
Point my head at you.
I can't look at you, I don't have muscles."
- "Okay."
- "Listen." - "Oh, oh."
- "I see you." - "Okay."
- "I see you, okay?
What day is it today, do you know the date?"
- "It's Christmas Day, December 25th, 1996."
- "Great, that's great, we have time, okay?
It's not gonna get warm until probably March, okay?
So you have time.
I need you to go to the big old house up on the hill.
You're a brave little boy, right?
Aren't you a brave little boy?
You will find a scroll in the basement of that house, okay?
That scroll has a list of 17 names.
You are going to look for the 17th name,
which should say Alistair Smythe, listen to me!
Don't fucking yawn!
I was a man, not a snowman.
I know it's too much to ask of a child
but you need to fix this, okay?"
- And I'll cut you off there.
Excellent button, Josh, excellent lore, Brennan.
I expected nothing less.
Simply hundreds if not thousands
of points for the both of you.
- I love a magical carrot.
- Yes, the carrot. - From the kitchen.
- That's all it was.
"I was a man."
Harrison Ford is.
- Josh and Zac. - Okay.
- Two astronauts compete for the quote
that will go down in history.
- "Well, that's one flag that I just put on the moon."
- "We put this flag on the moon together
because together, we can do anything."
- "But-" - "No."
- "Is there a better way to put a flag on the moon
than to do it in a big blue spoon?"
- "As astronauts, we have a duty to our people
to make them dream big and no one
dreams bigger than us here today
and I'm gonna put it right back here."
- "Yeah, but also
sometimes, um, when you take a spaceship,
you see all kinds of things
that are really, really important."
- "Despite my partner's space madness,
I'm doing this for everyone, including Jerry."
- And I'll cut you off with the homicide.
Very good players, 45 points for you.
Zac and Brennan.
A time traveler trying to figure out what year it is
without drawing too much attention to themselves.
- "How's it going there, stranger?"
- "Good."
- "Funny get-up you got there."
- "Oh.
I'm doing a vaudeville
show?" - "Doing a vaudeville show?
Jeepers creepers, buster.
You're more old-timey than my Pop-Pop."
- "Oh yeah, I'm-"
- "What, are you gonna head to the Nickelodeon afterwards?"
- "The Nickelodeon?" - "Give me a break."
- "Yes, I don't have my,
not phone because that wouldn't be here."
- "Rip it out of the wall, did you?"
- "Right, right." - "Say mister, you're dressed
in tinfoil like a baked potato."
- "Yeah."
- "Tinfoil's only three years old at this point."
- "What are you up to today?"
- "Well, I'm gonna head on down
to City Hall and report my fair share of Communists."
- "Oh.
Interesting, awesome.
Well, I want you to know first off
before I walk out of here, I'm not a Communist."
- "Say, saying you're not a Communist
is one of the first things those Reds do."
- I will cut you off there.
1950 amount of points for you, is that about right?
That was the Red Scare. - I was thinking, yeah,
like 40s into 50s.
- We can look up three years.
Tinfoil has been out for three years.
- Someone could say 1973 and another person
could say 1875 and I would be like-
- Totally, absolutely. - Great, sure.
- Last one of this round, Brennan and Josh.
- Okay. - Okay.
- Thomas Jefferson getting notes from
his Hollywood agent on the Declaration of Independence.
- "Greetings, you have reached Thomas Jefferson.
I'm answering the phone in real life right now
and if you speak, I will hear you."
- "Hey Tommy J, we have Ari on the line.
We have your agent, Ari."
"You got him? Okay, great.
Hey Tommy J, what's up?"
- "Ari, my agent, hello."
- "Listen, did a quick skim of that scroll thing.
I have a few notes, first of all, I can't really read it.
I don't know if, I know you wrote it with long hand, is it?"
- "I wrote it with quill and ink as is the custom."
- "Hey, Meredith.
Can you go ahead and get Tommy J final draft 12?
Because if we don't, here's the thing Tommy J,
places like Stage 6, Sony, Warner Bros.,
Tubi, Arrow, they're not gonna be able
to sort of find it clean and digestible, okay?
You picking up what I'm putting down, bud?"
- "The only person I need to digest my proclamation
is King George III, tyrant that he is."
- "Right on, right on and by the way just real quick,
we want to make sure you got an invite
to the Indie Film Spirit Awards tonight at seven o'clock."
- "Am I not already on the list?"
- "Well, I got Ray Romano on the other line and-"
- "Yeah, patch Ray through."
- "Okay." - "Patch Ray through."
- "Yeah, sorry, can we patch Ray through?"
"Hey."
- "Ray, I've been waiting for punch up
on this Declaration for weeks now, what's going on?"
- "Oh, Tommy."
- Yeah, I'll definitely cut you off there.
I don't know how we ended up with an entirely different prompt.
- Let us do Ray Romano helps Thomas Jefferson.
- That brings us to the minigame.
The minigame is translator and for this,
I'm gonna ask Josh to take center stage.
Josh will be playing our politician and a combination
of Zac and Brennan will be playing his translator.
They will each be translating
every other line of Josh's spiel.
Josh, I will kick you off with a topic.
Your topic is a new scientific discovery.
- "Hello."
- "People of Staten Island."
- "You've been very bad and the robots are coming."
- "So,
so,
Uh-oh."
- "If you get killed by a robot, friends, that's on you."
- "Koo-koo."
- "If you get shot at by a robot, that's on you."
- "Now, everybody.
What?
Wow,"
- "If you pour milk in your eyes,
you will be able to see the invisible robots."
- "I gotta go."
- "Me and some guys are headed to Fuddruckers after this.
I'm not sure if you're all busy but feel free to swing by."
- Fantastic.
All three of you, wow.
- I wonder how many points we got?
- Great point. - One great point.
- That brings us to round three where our players
will now hold hands and jump into the abyss together.
Josh. - Huh?
- Zac. - Hmm?
- Brennan. - Mm hmm.
- Braggadocious cavemen tool-dropping.
- "Incredible hunt. Y'know.
Everyone gave 100%.
Very grateful, very humbled
and grateful for flint spearhead."
- "Flint spearhead."
- "Oh wow, flint spearhead.
Mister Spearhead over here."
- "You know, just saying, its good development
will eventually lead to eradication
of giant ground sloths in North America, so."
- "Yeah, but will it be as cool as a piece of wood
I found that's good to move a big rock?"
- "Wow.
Oh wait, you were saying giant sloth?"
- "Giant sloth."
- "I think they know my friend, saber-toothed tiger.
I actually made saddle for saber-toothed tiger."
- "Whoa." - "Yeah."
- "Okay, name-dropper." - "So I don't know."
- "It kinda feels like you're going
out of your way to try and make-"
- "It was definitely off of something said
and it was organic part of conversation."
- "How about this?
Seem like we tense.
- Seem like -
Seem like we at each other throat."
- "Okay." - "Okay."
- "Maybe we go home,
I write in my clay tablets about how I feeling."
- "Where the clay tablet come from?"
- I'll cut you off there. - "Well, it's fair."
- Some cavemen really do have it all.
When were the cavemen approximately?
- So caveman is like a broad term but I think
it's like past 25.000 or something like that years old.
- Yes, so we'll say negative 25.000 points.
- Oh.
- Taking this one at a time please.
No need to talk over each other.
Messages on Sam's answering machine.
- Hey, what's up Sam?
It's me,
Mamazune.
Just kidding, it's Josh.
Listen, I need grocery money
and I was just kinda hoping maybe
I could "Make Some Noise" or do pretty much anything.
Look, I don't even know what "D20" is, never heard of it.
I'm seeing a lot of clips of Brennan working.
But for real, yeah, one second!
One second!
Look,
I have, uh,
I just got done, you're my last quarter.
All right?"
- Hey Sam, it's Zac.
I was just calling, I don't know how this works.
For some reason when you Google my name,
one of the first things that comes up is
"Zac Oyama fired" from a YouTube Live video
where you fire me as a joke and I'm just wondering,
I wonder if there's a way to like,
I don't know how priorities work on that.
It's just confusing.
Some people think I'm actually fired.
- That's too true.
- Hey Sam, it's Brennan calling.
So there's a TikTok of me pretending
to be a dragon slipping on a banana peel
and a group of teens have mobilized to burn my home down.
So if we could put a disclaimer on the TikTok that says
yes, I was saying I wanted to conquer the world
but I was doing it as a fictional dragon and not a guy
who lives in the world and is a real person with feelings.
So hit me up as soon as you can
and please help me, help me, help me.
- Disclaimer appears before all of these jokes,
"Loosely based on a true story."
It is at this point that I would like
to remind everyone that I wrote 270 of these.
Two sides of a pistachio shell fighting
being pulled apart to protect the pistachio.
- "What's happening?"
- "You're gonna be all right."
- "Is this real, is this really happening?"
- "All right, listen.
Our seam is almost all the way closed.
There are so many pistachios in this bag
that have a wider seam than we have."
- "So we're fine." - "They're gonna
put us back in the bag." - "We're fine, right?"
- "That's exactly right."
- "You gotta stay positive, okay?
Oh god, I feel a fucking shadow.
Okay, the bag's moving, the bag's moving."
- "Oh my god."
- "This is normal, you're gonna be okay, all right?
Look, we're gonna feel a finger.
It's gonna be rooting around for a pistachio, okay?
Just 'cause you feel a finger
doesn't mean that it's us, okay?"
- "Okay." - "Stay calm."
- "Hang tight.
Okay, oh god, oh god, oh god.
Okay, calm down."
- "No, no." - "Stay calm.
Hold onto me."
- "I can't feel my freaking shell."
- "Oh no, I can't see." - "Okay, listen.
You're gonna lose us, okay?
What I need you to do is this.
When it opens all the way, drop into the bag."
- "I can't." - "Drop to the floor
and go under the table, yes you can!
Drop under the table." - "He's pulling me."
- What an incredible closer.
- Eat your heart out, "Band of Brothers."
- That brings us to the end of our show.
Our winner tonight is
Josh Ruben.
- Oh!
- Josh.
- Wow.
- You are the recipient of the Golden Ear.
- And just to confirm, I can't take this?
- You cannot bring that home.
That does it for us here at "Make Some Noise."
Tune in next time for more of the game samer.
I'm Sam Reich and that sounds pretty good to me, goodnight.