1
00:00:04,793 --> 00:00:06,389
[blows]
2
00:00:06,390 --> 00:00:09,775
I just ate a bag of cheese boodles
without using my hands.
3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:13,696
Lazy Tuesday, you are
delivering in a big way.
4
00:00:13,730 --> 00:00:16,065
[chuckles] Yeah, it's
nice to finally have a day
5
00:00:16,116 --> 00:00:20,069
where nothing interesting
happens whatsoever.
6
00:00:21,523 --> 00:00:23,048
[muffled roar]
7
00:00:23,707 --> 00:00:24,740
[screaming]
8
00:00:24,791 --> 00:00:27,960
Everyone get down!
Don't let it taste human flesh.
9
00:00:30,047 --> 00:00:31,881
- What is it?
- Can we keep it?
10
00:00:31,915 --> 00:00:33,883
Kill it, kill it!
11
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:40,923
Patience.
12
00:00:40,925 --> 00:00:44,727
[growling, screeching]
And... gotcha!
13
00:00:49,066 --> 00:00:51,144
Great. Now get it outta here.
14
00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:53,243
Smells like if death could barf.
15
00:00:53,278 --> 00:00:54,904
Grunkle Ford, do you
need any help with that?
16
00:00:54,938 --> 00:00:57,189
I've read all about these
creatures in your journal,
17
00:00:57,240 --> 00:01:01,110
- and I think I know...
- No! I'm sorry, Dipper.
18
00:01:01,112 --> 00:01:05,031
On the dark, weird road I travel,
I'm afraid you cannot follow.
19
00:01:06,116 --> 00:01:09,826
Well, call me for dinner.
[beeps]
20
00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:14,707
Maybe next time then?
Or not.
21
00:01:14,758 --> 00:01:19,429
- Or never.
- Oh, Dipper, don't take it so hard.
22
00:01:19,475 --> 00:01:22,682
No, do take it hard.
Take it hard and serious.
23
00:01:22,716 --> 00:01:24,884
My brother is a
dangerous know-it-all
24
00:01:24,935 --> 00:01:26,802
and the stuff he's
messing with is even worse.
25
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:29,138
Do yourself a favor and stay
away from him, you hear me?
26
00:01:29,140 --> 00:01:31,140
But Grunkle Stan, all summer long,
27
00:01:31,142 --> 00:01:33,109
I've wanted to know who the
author of the journal was.
28
00:01:33,143 --> 00:01:36,812
Now the guy lives in our basement,
and I can't even talk to him.
29
00:01:36,863 --> 00:01:38,864
Don't worry about
what's on the basement.
30
00:01:38,899 --> 00:01:41,650
- You belong up here with me and Mabel.
- Yeah!
31
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:45,705
Besides, the season finale
of Duck-tective is airing this Friday.
32
00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,907
That's all the mystery
you need this week.
33
00:01:47,958 --> 00:01:51,660
Come on, quack with us, Dipper.
Quack, quack, quack.
34
00:01:51,712 --> 00:01:53,079
[chuckles] Yeah.
Quack, quack, quack.
35
00:01:53,130 --> 00:01:55,131
[both quacking]
36
00:01:58,802 --> 00:02:00,836
[quacking continues]
37
00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:04,974
Quack, quack, quack!
Why isn't he quacking?
38
00:02:04,975 --> 00:02:08,289
[title music]
39
00:02:09,690 --> 00:02:15,764
OpenSubtitles recommends using Nord VPN
from 3.49 USD/month —-> osdb.link/vpn
40
00:02:38,472 --> 00:02:41,578
sync & correction by f1nc0
- Addic7ed.com ~
41
00:02:42,151 --> 00:02:44,783
2x13 - Dungeons, Dungeons,
and More Dungeons
42
00:02:44,994 --> 00:02:46,461
Dear Mom and Dad,
43
00:02:46,565 --> 00:02:48,678
we've been in Gravity
Falls for a few months,
44
00:02:48,712 --> 00:02:49,796
and so much has happened.
45
00:02:49,847 --> 00:02:53,283
Just yesterday, gravity
reversed itself, almost destroyed
46
00:02:53,284 --> 00:02:56,719
the universe, and totally
wrecking the whole town.
47
00:02:56,721 --> 00:03:00,440
Well, they say it was an earthquake,
but you know what I think?
48
00:03:00,474 --> 00:03:03,559
I think I'm gonna have to start serving
pineapple right-side up cake.
49
00:03:03,561 --> 00:03:07,788
[laughs] Am I right?
Am I right?
50
00:03:08,365 --> 00:03:10,733
Let the rebuilding of the town begin.
51
00:03:10,735 --> 00:03:13,286
Wrecking ball, start wrecking things.
52
00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:15,404
[laughs]
53
00:03:15,456 --> 00:03:18,099
But the coolest part of
the summer was
54
00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:20,743
Grunkle Stan's twin brother
came out of this portal thingy.
55
00:03:20,794 --> 00:03:23,412
Now we have two grunkles
for the price of one.
56
00:03:23,414 --> 00:03:26,669
And they are adorable together.
57
00:03:26,704 --> 00:03:29,502
"We love each other so much!"
[kissing sounds]
58
00:03:29,553 --> 00:03:32,505
Mabel, you'll never guess what
I found at the store today.
59
00:03:32,556 --> 00:03:34,423
Dogs. Dogs with hats!
60
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:37,727
No. It's my favorite
fantasy-talking, level-counting,
61
00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:40,680
statistics and graph-paper
involving game of all time:
62
00:03:40,731 --> 00:03:43,566
Dungeons, Dungeons,
and More Dungeons!
63
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,603
- You wanna play it with me?
- Well, I do like unicorns,
64
00:03:47,605 --> 00:03:49,522
and that hot elf looks promising.
65
00:03:49,573 --> 00:03:51,607
- How do you play?
- The rules are simple.
66
00:03:51,658 --> 00:03:54,552
First, you roll a 38-sided
die to determine the level
67
00:03:54,553 --> 00:03:57,446
of each player's statistical
analysis power orb.
68
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:59,499
These orbs relate
directly to the amount of
69
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,501
power quadrants that your
tem has dominion over,
70
00:04:01,535 --> 00:04:04,504
which is inverse to the anti-quadrants
in your quadrant satchel.
71
00:04:04,538 --> 00:04:07,707
- And then we ride unicorns?
- Yes! [gasps]
72
00:04:07,758 --> 00:04:10,146
And no.
73
00:04:10,460 --> 00:04:13,429
First, we make a graph.
74
00:04:13,463 --> 00:04:16,465
[groans]
This is like Homework the Game.
75
00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:18,768
Come on, Mabel. I need at
least two people to play.
76
00:04:18,802 --> 00:04:24,200
Oh, wow, would you look at that?
Two people!
77
00:04:24,278 --> 00:04:27,643
Hey, Soos, up for a little
game of D & D & More D?
78
00:04:27,645 --> 00:04:31,480
Sorry, Dipper, I don't go in for
that pen-and-paper kinda stuff.
79
00:04:31,482 --> 00:04:32,782
- I'm more of an FCLORP-er.
- A what?
80
00:04:32,816 --> 00:04:34,650
FCLORP:
81
00:04:34,652 --> 00:04:37,320
Foam & Cardboard Legitimate
Outdoor Role Playing.
82
00:04:37,322 --> 00:04:39,405
It is where a passionate
brethren of craftsmen
83
00:04:39,456 --> 00:04:41,541
bring their dreams to magical reality.
84
00:04:41,575 --> 00:04:46,329
- Let yon priestess go, Elf Mage.
- Never, Paladin Radmaster.
85
00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:48,664
Fireball, fireball, fireball.
86
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,467
I'm a fortress.
87
00:04:51,501 --> 00:04:53,586
Well, thanks anyways, Soos.
88
00:04:53,637 --> 00:04:56,589
Say, is this that game
that's mostly math and writing
89
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,674
and isn't anything like
the picture on the box?
90
00:04:58,676 --> 00:05:01,510
Yes, it is! You wanna
play with me, Grunkle Stan?
91
00:05:01,562 --> 00:05:05,565
Ha! Look, kid, I prefer to
do my dice rolling in Vegas.
92
00:05:05,599 --> 00:05:07,567
Besides, only a game designed by nerds
93
00:05:07,601 --> 00:05:10,436
would have "Charisma"
as a fantasy power.
94
00:05:10,487 --> 00:05:13,656
Check this out:
"When facing yon adversaries,
95
00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:18,694
- shield thyself under an elfan buttress."
- Ha ha, say it again.
96
00:05:18,745 --> 00:05:20,696
Buttress.
[both laughing]
97
00:05:20,747 --> 00:05:23,282
Hey, laugh all you want.
98
00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:25,368
You guys just aren't smart
enough to understand it.
99
00:05:25,419 --> 00:05:28,504
[chuckles]
Sorry, dude, but it is kinda nerdy.
100
00:05:28,538 --> 00:05:30,706
Well, I'm off to lay
siege to a goblin fortress.
101
00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:32,541
To my grandma's backyard!
102
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,377
[sighs]
103
00:05:35,596 --> 00:05:38,732
Oh, nice, you rolled a 17.
[bleats]
104
00:05:38,733 --> 00:05:40,766
And this is sad.
105
00:05:40,801 --> 00:05:43,469
Maybe I should start
obsessing over Wendy again.
106
00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:44,242
[crunching]
107
00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:48,608
Hey, give it back.
Come on, Gompers. Let go.
108
00:05:48,642 --> 00:05:51,392
Oh, man, my 38-sided die!
109
00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,731
[screams]
110
00:06:09,413 --> 00:06:12,465
- Dipper, stop!
- Great-uncle Ford.
111
00:06:12,499 --> 00:06:15,251
What did I say about coming down here?
112
00:06:15,302 --> 00:06:18,421
My work is far too dangerous
for a single living soul
113
00:06:18,423 --> 00:06:22,642
to spend even one second...
Wait. Is that a 38-sided die
114
00:06:22,676 --> 00:06:25,428
from Dungeons, Dungeons,
And More Dungeons?
115
00:06:25,479 --> 00:06:27,680
Yeah.
You know that game?
116
00:06:27,731 --> 00:06:31,350
With pen and paper, shield and sword...
117
00:06:31,401 --> 00:06:34,487
[both] ... our quest
shall be our sweet reward!
118
00:06:34,521 --> 00:06:36,322
[laughing]
119
00:06:36,356 --> 00:06:39,692
This is my favorite game
in the whole multi-verse.
120
00:06:39,743 --> 00:06:41,494
I can't believe they still make it.
121
00:06:41,528 --> 00:06:44,697
They do, and I've been looking all day
for someone to play with me.
122
00:06:44,748 --> 00:06:48,451
My boy, do you know what this means?
123
00:06:48,502 --> 00:06:52,288
We must stop everything
I've been working on at once,
124
00:06:52,339 --> 00:06:54,206
and play!
125
00:06:58,595 --> 00:07:01,054
That's going to leave a mark.
126
00:07:01,167 --> 00:07:04,079
Okay, I think we've got
everything we need to watch
127
00:07:04,161 --> 00:07:06,195
the season finale of
Duck-tective tomorrow.
128
00:07:06,246 --> 00:07:08,890
I even made mouth ramps
so we can pour food
129
00:07:08,891 --> 00:07:11,534
into our mouths without taking
our eyes off the screen.
130
00:07:11,585 --> 00:07:14,203
[chewing loudly]
131
00:07:14,254 --> 00:07:18,124
And I recreated the main character
out of spare taxidermy parts.
132
00:07:18,126 --> 00:07:21,427
Quack, quack, I'm the Duck Detective.
Who stole my bread loaf?
133
00:07:21,461 --> 00:07:24,430
[both laughing]
That is so messed up.
134
00:07:24,464 --> 00:07:28,373
- Dipper would love that.
- Yeah, where is the little squirt anyway?
135
00:07:28,408 --> 00:07:30,374
I haven't seen him all afternoon.
136
00:07:32,222 --> 00:07:33,556
Alright, you enter the chamber.
137
00:07:33,607 --> 00:07:36,359
Princess Unattainabelle beckons you.
138
00:07:36,393 --> 00:07:38,444
But wait, it's a trap!
[gasps]
139
00:07:38,478 --> 00:07:42,532
An illusion cast by
Probabilitor the Annoying.
140
00:07:42,566 --> 00:07:44,233
You know his weakness, right?
141
00:07:44,284 --> 00:07:46,235
[both] Prime statistical
anomalies over 37
142
00:07:46,286 --> 00:07:49,155
but not exceeding 51.
143
00:07:49,206 --> 00:07:54,126
Yes! In your face,
you cardboard wizard.
144
00:07:54,161 --> 00:07:57,330
Hmm, the old boy looks a bit
different the did back in my day.
145
00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:59,382
Yeah, they change the
art every few years.
146
00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:01,250
Thankfully, you missed the period
147
00:08:01,301 --> 00:08:04,136
when the creators of the game
tried to make it "cooler."
148
00:08:04,171 --> 00:08:06,722
Man, this game is boring.
149
00:08:08,342 --> 00:08:11,143
You dare challenge Probabilitizzle?
150
00:08:11,178 --> 00:08:13,262
♪ Put the cat back
and roll the dice ♪
151
00:08:13,313 --> 00:08:15,286
♪ Don't step to the wizard
'cause the wizard... ♪
152
00:08:16,836 --> 00:08:18,351
updated for the nine double-deuce!
153
00:08:18,402 --> 00:08:21,187
- Available wherever dope games are sold.
- Peace!
154
00:08:21,238 --> 00:08:24,273
[shudders] Must've been
dark times, those '90s.
155
00:08:24,324 --> 00:08:28,194
Yeesh. Sounds like a good time to
be stuck between dimensions.
156
00:08:28,196 --> 00:08:31,330
Great-uncle Ford, I've
been meaning to ask you.
157
00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:33,449
Where were you before you
came out of that machine,
158
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,251
and what have you been doing down here?
159
00:08:35,335 --> 00:08:37,203
Are you working on something
behind that curtain?
160
00:08:37,205 --> 00:08:41,540
Dipper, it's best if you and the family
stay away from that subject.
161
00:08:41,542 --> 00:08:44,377
Honestly, I'm not sure any of
you could handle the real answer.
162
00:08:44,428 --> 00:08:46,379
- But I could handle it.
- Ah-ah!
163
00:08:46,381 --> 00:08:49,465
But I can show you a little something
I brought back with me.
164
00:08:52,519 --> 00:08:57,273
- An infinity-sided die.
- Whoa!
165
00:08:57,307 --> 00:09:00,359
That's so cool... and impossible.
166
00:09:00,394 --> 00:09:03,195
These things are outlawed
in 9,000 dimensions.
167
00:09:03,230 --> 00:09:06,232
You wanna know why?
Look at those symbols.
168
00:09:06,283 --> 00:09:09,285
Infinite sides means infinite outcomes.
169
00:09:09,319 --> 00:09:13,489
If I rolled it, anything could happen.
Our faces could melt into jelly.
170
00:09:13,540 --> 00:09:15,324
The world could turn into an egg.
171
00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:18,077
Or you could just roll an eight.
Who knows?
172
00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:21,414
That's why I have to keep it in
this protective cheap plastic case.
173
00:09:21,416 --> 00:09:25,301
Now, back to the game.
You've got Probabilitor on the ropes.
174
00:09:29,506 --> 00:09:31,340
[Dipper] Oh, man.
175
00:09:31,391 --> 00:09:34,477
Then if I have a Dragon here,
and then a plus-three fire...
176
00:09:34,511 --> 00:09:39,098
Dipper, are you gonna go to sleep?
You've been saying dork words for hours.
177
00:09:39,149 --> 00:09:41,517
Sorry, Mabel.
I gotta finish this dungeon.
178
00:09:41,568 --> 00:09:43,486
It's gonna totally stump
Great-uncle Ford tomorrow.
179
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:45,521
I can't wait to see
the look on his face!
180
00:09:45,572 --> 00:09:49,575
You're, uh, spending a lot of
time with old Fordsie lately, huh?
181
00:09:49,609 --> 00:09:53,279
You have no idea.
I knew the author must be cool,
182
00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:55,114
but he's better than I imagined!
183
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:57,116
And he doesn't make
fun of me all the time,
184
00:09:57,118 --> 00:10:00,503
- the way you and Grunkle Stan do.
- Give him time.
185
00:10:00,537 --> 00:10:03,205
Hi-oh!
[chuckles]
186
00:10:03,256 --> 00:10:04,890
Nah, you got me.
187
00:10:06,259 --> 00:10:09,128
You got me.
188
00:10:11,348 --> 00:10:13,132
Thanks for coming
over to watch tonight's
189
00:10:13,134 --> 00:10:15,134
Duck-tective finale, Grenda.
190
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:18,437
Of course. I'm so invested in
the life of these characters.
191
00:10:18,472 --> 00:10:22,358
Hey, hey, look at you.
Someone's all dressed up.
192
00:10:22,392 --> 00:10:24,977
It's a big night. I think
we all remember where
193
00:10:24,978 --> 00:10:27,563
we were when we learned
Duck-tective was shot.
194
00:10:27,614 --> 00:10:32,151
[clock strikes]
[gasps] Viewing positions, everyone!
195
00:10:32,592 --> 00:10:33,920
[all gasp]
196
00:10:34,321 --> 00:10:37,456
Ahh! Graph paper.
Kill it, kill it!
197
00:10:37,491 --> 00:10:40,409
Dipper, could you maybe
move this to another room?
198
00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:43,379
No dice.
We ran out of room in the basement
199
00:10:43,413 --> 00:10:46,465
and we're going for a world record.
Now dice!
200
00:10:46,500 --> 00:10:48,250
Thirty-two!
201
00:10:48,301 --> 00:10:51,470
- Yes! 7,000 points damage.
- You got me.
202
00:10:51,505 --> 00:10:53,472
Ohh! Why with this?
203
00:10:53,507 --> 00:10:55,391
Wanna break a record, Ford?
204
00:10:55,425 --> 00:10:57,560
You already got it for
world's nerdiest old man.
205
00:10:57,594 --> 00:11:00,479
Hey, at least I'm not all
keyed up to watch a kids' show.
206
00:11:00,514 --> 00:11:03,516
I'll have you know that
Duck-tective has a big mystery
207
00:11:03,517 --> 00:11:06,519
element, and a lot of humor
that goes over kids' heads.
208
00:11:06,570 --> 00:11:10,356
I don't get a lot of it, but I
like animals in human situation.
209
00:11:10,407 --> 00:11:12,358
Grunkle Stan, it
starts in a few minutes.
210
00:11:14,327 --> 00:11:17,279
Move that and pay the price.
211
00:11:17,330 --> 00:11:19,532
Oh, what, 50 magical dwarf dollars?
212
00:11:19,583 --> 00:11:22,334
Don't mock our fantastical
monetary system!
213
00:11:22,369 --> 00:11:24,336
I'll mock all I want.
It's my TV room.
214
00:11:24,371 --> 00:11:26,122
It's my house! You...
215
00:11:26,173 --> 00:11:29,175
[sighs] Listen, Stanley,
did it ever occur to you
216
00:11:29,209 --> 00:11:31,544
that if you joined us, you
might actually have fun?
217
00:11:31,595 --> 00:11:33,379
What? Now you listen to me.
218
00:11:33,381 --> 00:11:35,514
As long as I live, I will never...
219
00:11:35,549 --> 00:11:37,266
- Grunkle Stan, wait!
- ever...
220
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:39,952
- Stanley!
- play your smarty-pants nerd game.
221
00:11:39,987 --> 00:11:41,769
No!
222
00:11:48,311 --> 00:11:52,314
Mortals of Dimension
46 Apostrophe Backflash.
223
00:11:52,365 --> 00:11:54,255
Kneel before me and...
224
00:11:56,236 --> 00:11:58,487
Snivel.
225
00:11:58,538 --> 00:12:03,409
I am Probabilitor,
the greatest wizard in all mathology,
226
00:12:03,460 --> 00:12:07,413
- give or take an error of 0.4.
- Uh. Is this normal?
227
00:12:07,415 --> 00:12:10,249
Have you come to send us
on the quest of a lifetime,
228
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,084
because we're the smartest
players you've ever met?
229
00:12:12,135 --> 00:12:15,221
You are the smartest
players I've ever met.
230
00:12:15,255 --> 00:12:18,390
That's why I'm going to eat your
brains, to gain your intelligence.
231
00:12:18,392 --> 00:12:19,475
It's what I do.
232
00:12:19,509 --> 00:12:22,261
- It's his thing.
- What?
233
00:12:22,312 --> 00:12:24,430
Seize them!
234
00:12:24,432 --> 00:12:27,316
Your math is no match
for my gun, you idiot.
235
00:12:27,350 --> 00:12:30,208
Math ray!
236
00:12:31,004 --> 00:12:34,351
I'm not here to play games.
237
00:12:35,007 --> 00:12:38,502
Now to the forest for the ultimate game.
238
00:12:42,781 --> 00:12:45,939
So the room's free now.
239
00:12:46,049 --> 00:12:48,918
Who wants to watch Duck-tective?
[squeaks]
240
00:12:49,017 --> 00:12:52,403
Nobody?
More couch for Grenda.
241
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,124
Oh, no.
That crazy wizard is gonna eat
242
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:58,811
our brother's brain.
We have to stop him!
243
00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:01,614
Maybe let him get a couple of
bites in Ford's brain first.
244
00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:03,649
Even things out, smartness-wise.
245
00:13:03,651 --> 00:13:05,985
- Grunkle Stan!
- All right, all right.
246
00:13:05,987 --> 00:13:09,788
I guess if we have no other choice,
we'll go on a... [sighs]
247
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,657
epic wizard quest.
248
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,167
[cheering]
249
00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:15,433
Everyone grab a weapon.
250
00:13:18,448 --> 00:13:19,715
Nice.
251
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,638
We're coming for you, Dipper.
And Great-uncle Ford.
252
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:29,350
And possibly that hot elf,
if he's got anything to do with this.
253
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:34,680
[laughing]
254
00:13:35,765 --> 00:13:40,019
With each brain I eat,
I shall increase my enchant-elligence.
255
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:43,906
If my hands were free,
I'd break every part of your face.
256
00:13:43,940 --> 00:13:48,661
The time has come.
Hot elf, ready the brain-cooking pot.
257
00:13:48,695 --> 00:13:51,726
Uh, yes, Probabilitor.
258
00:14:02,212 --> 00:14:04,163
[slap]
We must be getting close.
259
00:14:04,165 --> 00:14:06,081
These fairy bites are
getting more frequent.
260
00:14:06,132 --> 00:14:08,750
Hey, look, listen.
261
00:14:10,003 --> 00:14:12,971
Halt!
You interlopers are trespassing
262
00:14:13,006 --> 00:14:15,757
on the ancient forest
of Probabilitor the Wizard.
263
00:14:15,809 --> 00:14:17,009
If ye wish to pass,
264
00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:20,813
first ye must complete
seven unworldly quests,
265
00:14:20,847 --> 00:14:24,206
- each more difficult than the last...
- No!
266
00:14:25,068 --> 00:14:27,186
Is he... dead?
267
00:14:27,188 --> 00:14:30,022
He's magic, sweetie.
I'm sure he's fine.
268
00:14:30,024 --> 00:14:34,567
There's no cops in the forest.
We take this to our graves.
269
00:14:34,828 --> 00:14:36,195
[laughing]
270
00:14:36,197 --> 00:14:38,747
- What do we do, what do we do?
- Stop thinking, Dipper.
271
00:14:38,781 --> 00:14:42,000
The more wrinkled your brain gets,
the more he'll wanna eat it.
272
00:14:42,035 --> 00:14:44,203
And now, a little math problem.
273
00:14:44,254 --> 00:14:47,206
When I subtract your
brain from your skull,
274
00:14:47,257 --> 00:14:51,210
add salt and divide your family,
what's the remainder?
275
00:14:51,212 --> 00:14:53,178
[Mabel] Your butt!
276
00:14:53,213 --> 00:14:56,849
What? My butt isn't part
of this particular equation.
277
00:14:56,883 --> 00:14:58,133
[all roaring]
278
00:14:58,184 --> 00:15:01,559
Drat! How did you make
it past my one guard?
279
00:15:01,594 --> 00:15:06,108
Very well. There's only one
way your family can save you.
280
00:15:06,142 --> 00:15:08,977
You must defeat me
281
00:15:09,028 --> 00:15:11,897
in Dungeons, Dungeons,
And More Dungeons,
282
00:15:11,899 --> 00:15:14,032
[echoing] real life edition!
283
00:15:15,068 --> 00:15:17,736
[maniacal laughter]
284
00:15:17,738 --> 00:15:22,741
- What? Oh, come on.
- I choose my characters versus...
285
00:15:22,743 --> 00:15:26,044
[gasping]
yours.
286
00:15:26,079 --> 00:15:29,915
Oh, my ears.
They're so pointy.
287
00:15:29,966 --> 00:15:32,943
There better be something
protective under this tunic.
288
00:15:32,944 --> 00:15:36,054
- Oh, no, there isn't.
- Seriously?
289
00:15:36,089 --> 00:15:38,056
Can't we just, like,
arm wrestle or something?
290
00:15:38,091 --> 00:15:40,092
Come on, this game is a lot of fun.
291
00:15:40,143 --> 00:15:42,761
I had my mom pack me a lunch.
292
00:15:42,763 --> 00:15:45,063
Ew, apple slices?
I'll eat you last.
293
00:15:45,098 --> 00:15:48,426
Just make with the rules, ugly.
294
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:50,936
The game is a battle royale.
295
00:15:50,987 --> 00:15:54,156
We help our characters by casting spells
determined by rolls of the dice.
296
00:15:54,190 --> 00:15:57,242
If you win, I go back
to my own dimension.
297
00:15:57,277 --> 00:16:01,029
But if I win, I eat their brains.
298
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,748
Hey, I'm not sure this is such a good...
299
00:16:02,782 --> 00:16:04,116
- Deal!
- Oh, boy.
300
00:16:04,167 --> 00:16:07,119
Let the game begin!
301
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,382
Attack!
[war cry]
302
00:16:16,763 --> 00:16:18,096
What do we do?
What are our moves?
303
00:16:18,131 --> 00:16:20,560
There are no moves.
You make them up.
304
00:16:20,595 --> 00:16:23,885
- What? Really?
- Yes. I tried to tell you.
305
00:16:23,937 --> 00:16:27,723
This game involves math, but
also risk and imagination.
306
00:16:27,774 --> 00:16:29,858
- Risk!
- Imagination?
307
00:16:29,892 --> 00:16:33,470
Grunkle Stan, make something up.
It's just like lying.
308
00:16:34,030 --> 00:16:35,814
I cast... uh...
309
00:16:35,865 --> 00:16:36,815
[groans]
310
00:16:36,866 --> 00:16:39,665
shield of shielding.
311
00:16:42,121 --> 00:16:46,792
- Ha! We're doin' it.
- Shield of shielding reversal spell.
312
00:16:49,796 --> 00:16:51,880
I cast giggle time bouncy boots.
313
00:16:53,348 --> 00:16:55,336
[laughing]
314
00:16:55,802 --> 00:16:57,753
Fat flame-y sword.
315
00:16:57,804 --> 00:16:59,921
Super-hot flame-y sword!
316
00:17:04,177 --> 00:17:05,894
[gasps]
No!
317
00:17:05,928 --> 00:17:08,146
Drat you. You'll never outrun my...
318
00:17:08,181 --> 00:17:13,959
Ogre-nado.
It is what it sounds like!
319
00:17:16,856 --> 00:17:21,315
I cast Centaur-taur!
Yah!
320
00:17:23,801 --> 00:17:25,831
[neighs]
321
00:17:25,832 --> 00:17:28,917
Mabel, I am so confused
and so proud right now.
322
00:17:33,206 --> 00:17:35,090
[cheering]
323
00:17:42,335 --> 00:17:45,399
- Yes!
- Ha ha! Yes!
324
00:17:51,409 --> 00:17:55,445
Ha ha ha, yes!
I was saving the worst for last.
325
00:17:55,447 --> 00:17:58,999
- Oh, no.
- The Impossi-beast.
326
00:17:59,033 --> 00:18:00,450
Hey, I thought they
banned this character.
327
00:18:00,452 --> 00:18:03,086
Think again.
I'm playing the controversial
328
00:18:03,121 --> 00:18:06,114
1991-1992 edition.
329
00:18:07,125 --> 00:18:10,210
- I'll think of some weapons.
- You don't understand.
330
00:18:10,261 --> 00:18:11,962
This is the most powerful
monster in the game.
331
00:18:12,013 --> 00:18:14,381
He can only be defeated
by rolling a perfect 38.
332
00:18:14,432 --> 00:18:16,016
But the odds of that are...
333
00:18:16,050 --> 00:18:18,385
Hey, long odds are what you want
334
00:18:18,436 --> 00:18:20,303
when you're a world-class gambler.
335
00:18:20,305 --> 00:18:23,023
All right, Stan, you can do this.
336
00:18:23,057 --> 00:18:26,309
Papa needs a new pair of...
twins!
337
00:18:34,318 --> 00:18:38,038
- No!
- Sorry, nerd wizard.
338
00:18:38,122 --> 00:18:41,324
All of your smarts are
no match for dumb luck.
339
00:18:41,376 --> 00:18:43,845
I cast Death Muffins!
340
00:18:50,385 --> 00:18:52,169
[both] Yes!
341
00:18:53,835 --> 00:18:55,002
[laughs]
342
00:18:55,004 --> 00:18:58,889
The game is, like, over.
Excelsi-whatever.
343
00:18:58,923 --> 00:19:01,842
No!
I'm returning to my own realm.
344
00:19:01,844 --> 00:19:07,649
I'm turning into pure math.
What are the odds?
345
00:19:10,184 --> 00:19:12,019
Grunkle Stan, that was amazing.
346
00:19:12,070 --> 00:19:13,854
How did you know that you would win?
347
00:19:13,905 --> 00:19:16,023
Hey, a gambler never
reveals his secrets.
348
00:19:18,076 --> 00:19:21,778
Man, that was fun for ages eight to 80.
349
00:19:21,829 --> 00:19:24,164
Or a million or however
old you guys are.
350
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:27,951
You know, I'm sorry for
making fun of your game, kiddo.
351
00:19:28,002 --> 00:19:30,604
Sure, it might be too
nerdy for me, but it's just
352
00:19:30,605 --> 00:19:33,206
the right amount of nerdy
for you and my brother.
353
00:19:33,208 --> 00:19:36,793
And if you two wanna hang out
sometimes, I won't get in your way.
354
00:19:36,844 --> 00:19:40,047
Actually, after all that,
I could use a little mindless fun.
355
00:19:40,049 --> 00:19:43,800
Guys, we can watch the second
showing of Duck-tective!
356
00:19:43,851 --> 00:19:45,452
It's not too late.
[squeaks]
357
00:19:52,303 --> 00:19:54,895
I just don't understand who shot you.
358
00:19:54,946 --> 00:19:57,147
The only person clever
enough to defeat Duck-tective
359
00:19:57,198 --> 00:20:00,285
is... [gasps]
Duck-tective. Ugh.
360
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,658
He had a twin brother all along?
361
00:20:11,709 --> 00:20:13,827
That's the big twist
we were waiting for?
362
00:20:13,878 --> 00:20:17,504
- What a rip-off!
- I predicted that, like, a year ago.
363
00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:24,921
- This will be here if you ever need it.
- Really?
364
00:20:24,956 --> 00:20:27,674
Even though I got us into
the whole game-playing mess?
365
00:20:27,725 --> 00:20:29,726
Ah, we both got carried away.
366
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:33,063
I guess we'd both gone for
a while without a friend.
367
00:20:33,297 --> 00:20:35,766
Dipper, can I tell you something?
368
00:20:36,935 --> 00:20:39,903
You asked me earlier
what I was working on.
369
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:41,688
Well...
370
00:20:41,739 --> 00:20:43,857
I dismantled the portal.
371
00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:45,993
An inter-dimensional
gateway is too dangerous
372
00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:47,778
for the world it feeds into.
373
00:20:47,829 --> 00:20:50,747
That's why I was mad
at Stan for using it.
374
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:52,666
He saved me, but as I feared,
375
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:55,786
the instability of the
machine created this.
376
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:58,186
An inter-dimensional rift.
377
00:20:58,330 --> 00:21:01,251
I've contained it for now,
but it's incredibly dangerous.
378
00:21:01,286 --> 00:21:03,217
Dipper, I don't want you
to tell anyone about this.
379
00:21:03,219 --> 00:21:05,186
Not Stan, not even your sister.
380
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:08,272
- Do you understand?
- Oh, of course.
381
00:21:08,307 --> 00:21:11,359
In my time, I've made
many powerful enemies.
382
00:21:11,393 --> 00:21:14,228
But I trust you with this secret.
383
00:21:14,230 --> 00:21:19,033
Now get yourself to bed.
I have much research to do.
384
00:21:19,068 --> 00:21:22,153
- Good night, Great-uncle Ford.
- Good night, Dipper.
385
00:21:35,130 --> 00:21:37,882
Guys, do you ever think
maybe we're doin' this
386
00:21:37,917 --> 00:21:39,918
'cause our lives aren't special enough?
387
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,053
That we use fantasy
as an escape to avoid
388
00:21:42,087 --> 00:21:43,755
the self-improvement we all need?
389
00:21:43,806 --> 00:21:46,999
That maybe we should just go out
and grow with people?
390
00:21:47,652 --> 00:21:53,338
- Fortresses can't speak, darling.
- I'm a fortress. [screams]
391
00:21:54,016 --> 00:21:55,984
Does anyone wanna rescue him?
392
00:21:56,018 --> 00:21:57,763
- Ah, I'm tired.
- I'm fine. I'm good.
393
00:21:57,810 --> 00:22:00,554
- Well, too bad for him.
- Long day...
394
00:22:00,755 --> 00:22:04,055
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395
00:22:04,995 --> 00:22:14,995
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