♪ TA DUM, LOCKING UP ♪
( chittering )
SHOO, POSSUM, SHOO:
GIT, McGUCKET: GIT!
♪ TA DUM, TA DUM GOOD NIGHT, DINER:
GOOD NIGHT, TREES:
GOOD NIGHT: TINY MEN STEALING MY PIE:
WAIT: WHAT?
LIFT WITH YOUR KNEES: NO, YOUR KNEES:
IF I GO ONE MORE HOUR WITHOUT EATING:
I'M GONNA RESORT TO CANNIBALISM:
MA'AM.
( shrieks ) LITTLE MAGIC MEN:
WHAT DOES IT MEAN? WHAT DO I DO?
YES, HI. I'D LIKE TO REPORT SOMETHING.
I'M AT GREASEY'S DINER.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I'VE WITNESSED.
IT'S UNBELIEVABLE. IT'S INDESCRIBABLE.
IT'S... ( screaming )
IT IS UNSEEN:
WELL, BACK TO PIE:
I WAS THIS CLOSE TO EATING YOU, STEVE:
♪
ALL RIGHT, AUTHOR: WHO ARE YOU?
WHO ARE:
BLECCCH! ( coughs )
NOT AGAIN:
HEY, BRO-BRO: LOOK WHAT I GOT:
YAY, A FILTHY GREEN BOTTLE:
IT'S A BOTTLE MESSAGE FROM MERMANDO: REMEMBER?
HE WAS PART FISH: PART SHIRTLESS GUY:
( gasps ) WHAT IF HE WANTS TO GET BACK TOGETHER?
I WOULDN'T GET YOUR HOPES UP, MABEL:
TOO LATE: HOPES ARE WAY: WAY UP!
( squeals excitedly )
"DEAR MABEL..." SO FAR SO GOOD:
"IT IS WITH A HEAVY HEART:."
SO FAR, SO GOOD:
"THAT I MUST INFORM YOU, I'M GETTING MARRIED"?
AND THERE IT IS:
"IN ORDER TO PREVENT AN UNDERSEA CIVIL WAR:
ARRANGED WEDDING: QUEEN OF THE MANATEES:."
AND SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL.
THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.
OH, MABEL: YOU'LL GET OVER HIM EVENTUALLY:
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, DIPPER:
ON MY FIRST DAY HERE: I MADE THIS PAGE FOR SUMMER ROMANCES:
LOOK AT MY LUCK:
TURNED OUT TO BE GNOMES: CHILD PSYCHO:
MADE OUT WITH HIS OWN HANDS:
AND NOW:
I WISH I COULD JUST FORGET ABOUT THEM FOREVER:
HEY, IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION:
MY SUMMER MISSION ISN'T A HUGE SUCCESS EITHER:
I'M STILL TRYING TO FIND THE AUTHOR OF THIS JOURNAL:
WITH HIS LAPTOP SMASHED:
I'VE LOST ANY LEAD IN FINDING HIM:
WAIT A MINUTE: DIPPER: LOOK!
- THROUGH YOUR BOTTLE? - JUST DO IT:
"McGUCKET LABS."
WAIT: OLD MAN McGUCKET?
DIPPER: YOU DON'T THINK...
COULDN'T BE.
DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE, UNLESS:
THIS MATCHES WITH THIS:
THIS GOES OVER HERE:
AND THEN THE NAME: SO THAT WOULD MEAN
OLD MAN McGUCKET WROTE THE JOURNAL?
♪ AM I BLANCHIN: GIRL, WE BLANCHIN' ♪
♪ A MANSION ♪
♪ AM I BLANCHIN: GIRL, WE BLANCHIN' ♪
♪ I LIVE UP IN A MANSION ♪
UGH! I CAN'T GET THAT TERRIBLE SONG OUT OF MY HEAD:
YOU MEAN "STRAIGHT BLANCHIN'" BY LI'L BIG DAWG?
IT'S THE CATCHIEST SONG OF THE SUMMER:
WHAT IS BLANCHIN'?
RAPPERS CAN'T JUST MAKE UP WORDS:
RAPPERS ARE VISIONARIES: WENDY:
IF THEY TOLD ME TO EAT MY OWN PANTS:
I WOULD DO IT:
♪ EAT YOUR OWN PANTS: EAT YOUR OWN PANTS ♪
I GUESS I HAVE NO CHOICE:
WENDY, SOOS: WE NEED TO GO SEE OLD MAN McGUCKET:
- WE'LL EXPLAIN ON THE WAY: - GAH!
HEY, WHAT ABOUT WORK?
KIDS!
WHY IS SOOS EATING HIS OWN PANTS?
OLD MAN McGUCKET: ARE YOU HERE?
HERE, HILLBILLY: BILLY, BILLY, BILLY:
( laughing )
TOOK AN HOUR TO THINK OF THIS: BUT IT WAS WORTH IT:
Both: HA!
GET OUTTA HERE: YOU SALT LICKIN:
HORNSWAGGLIN:
McSUCKIT: THEY GOT ME GOOD:
VISITORS!
COME, COME: PULL UP SOME RUSTY METAL:
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR MY HOURLY TURF WAR WITH THE HILLBILLY
WHAT LIVES IN MY MIRROR:
QUIT STARIN' AT ME WHEN I BATHE!
YOU CAN DROP THE ACT, McGUCKET:
I KNOW YOU'RE THE AUTHOR:
YOU STUDIED THE MYSTERIES OF THIS TOWN AND WROTE THIS BOOK:
DUDE: YOU'RE THE GENIUS DIPPER'S BEEN SEARCHING FOR ALL SUMMER:
UH, GENIUS?
I'M NO GENIUS.
I NEVER DONE NOTHIN' WORTHWHILE IN MY LIFE:
EVERYONE KNOWS I'M NO GOOD TO NOBODY.
I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT I USED TO BE:
BUT I MUST'VE BEEN A BIG FAILURE TO END UP LIKE THIS:
BUT THE LAPTOP HAS YOUR NAME ON IT:
WHAT ABOUT THIS BOOK? ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T WRITE IT?
HERE, LOOK CLOSELY:
I TOLD YOU: I DON'T RECALL.
EVERYTHING BEFORE 1982 IS JUST A BLUR:
JUST A HAZY:
( shrieks ) THE BLIND EYE!
ROBES. THE MEN: MY MIND:
- THEY DID SOMETHING: - WHO DID?
I... OH, I DON'T RECALL.
OH, YOU POOR OLD MAN:
NO WONDER YOUR MIND'S ALL ( blows raspberry).
YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING INTENSE:
WHAT IF McGUCKET LEARNED SOMETHING
HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW:
AND SOMEONE, OR SOMETHING: MESSED WITH HIS MIND?
WE'VE GOT TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS:
THINK, DUDE: WHAT IS THE EARLIEST THING YOU CAN REMEMBER?
UH, THIS IS: I THINK:
Wendy: THE HISTORY MUSEUM:
THAT'S WHERE WE'RE GOING.
♪ AM I BLANCHIN: GIRL, WE BLANCHIN' ♪
UGH, SOOS!
UGH!
I'LL BUY YOU A NEW ONE:
HELLO? ANYONE HERE?
ALL RIGHT: KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED
FOR ANYTHING SUSPICIOUS:
( sighs )
MABEL: ARE YOU OKAY?
YOU JUST WALKED BY A CAT WITHOUT PETTING IT:
OH, WENDY: EVERYTHING I LOOK AT
REMINDS ME OF MY FAILED ROMANCES:
THAT FORMALDEHYDE HEART:
THAT ROMANTIC DIORAMA:
EVEN THIS POSTER OF MY MOST RECENT EX-CRUSH:
AW, COME ON!
SO YOUR LAST MEMORY WAS HERE:
- ANYTHING COMING BACK? - GUYS: LOOK!
Dipper: HEY, WHO'S THERE?
WELL, KETTLE MY CORN: HE VANISH-IFIED:
IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.
WHERE DID HE GO?
I FEEL LIKE ALL THESE EYEBALLS
ARE A-WATCHIN' ME.
WAIT:
THEY ARE:
MOVE ASIDE:
JACKPOT!
A SECRET PASSAGEWAY:
WE'LL HAVE TO BE STEALTHY:
I'LL HAMBONE A MESSAGE IF THERE'S TROUBLE.
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT MEANS:
( voices chanting )
( chanting continues )
WHO IS THE SUBJECT OF OUR MEETING?
( gasping )
THIS WOMAN:
LAZY SUSAN?
WHAT IS IT THAT YOU HAVE SEEN?
All: SPEAK!
UH, WELL: UH, I WAS LEAVING THE DINER:
AND I SAW THESE LITTLE BEARDED DOODADS:
AND I WAS, LIKE: "WHAAAA?"
THERE, THERE:
YOU WON'T BE "LIKE WHAAAA"
FOR MUCH LONGER:
WHAT IS THAT GIZMO?
IT LOOKS LIKE A HAIR DRYER:
ARE YOU GUYS BARBERS?
( screaming )
LAZY SUSAN: WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF LITTLE BEARDED MEN?
MY MIND IS CLEAR:
THANKS TO THE SOCIETY OF THE BLIND EYE:
All: IT IS UNSEEN:
OH, MY GOSH:
THEY ERASED LAZY SUSAN'S MEMORY.
GUYS: ARE YOU SEEING THIS?
THEY JUST WIPED LAZY SUSAN'S MEMORY.
THEY SHOULD'VE WIPED OFF THAT AWFUL MASCARA:
I THINK SHE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL:
SHE'S DOING THE BEST SHE CAN, SOOS:
WHOA: TOUCHED A NERVE THERE:
LAZY SUSAN: HOW DO YOU FEEL?
I FEEL GREAT!
I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT WAS WRONG:
OR WHAT I'M DOING HERE,
OR IF I'M A MAN OR A WOMAN:
YOUR MEMORIES WILL BE SAFE WITH US:
BURIED IN THE HALL OF THE FORGOTTEN:
Robed Men: INTO THE HALL OF THE FORGOTTEN:
INTO THE HALL OF THE FORGOTTEN:
GOOD CHANTING, BOYS: HAVE YOU BEEN PRACTICING?
( all gasping )
MEETING ADJOURNED:
- UNSEE YOU LATER: - UNSEE YOU LATER:
UNSEE YOU LATER:
AMAZING:
A SECRET SOCIETY OF EVIL MIND ERASERS:
I'LL BET THEY ERASED YOUR MEMORY A LONG TIME AGO:
IF WE COULD FIND WHERE YOUR MEMORIES HAVE BEEN HIDDEN:
IT COULD BE THE KEY TO UNLOCKING
ALL THE MYSTERIES OF GRAVITY FALLS:
ALL RIGHT: MABEL, WENDY: YOU TWO STAY HERE
AND MAKE SURE THOSE ROBE GUYS DON'T COME BACK.
WHOOO! GIRLS CLUB:
SOOS: YOU, ME, AND McGUCKET
ARE GONNA GO FIND THE HALL OF THE FORGOTTEN:
- ( sucking sound ) - WHOA!
FOLLOW THAT HAT!
Robed Man: HALT! IS SOMEONE THERE?
AAH! WHAT DO WE DO? WHERE DO WE GO?
MAN, THESE ARE REALLY POORLY MADE:
I COULD'VE SWORN I HEARD SOMEONE:
PROBABLY JUST THE JANITOR
KISSING THAT WAX SETTLER WOMAN AGAIN:
WOOF! REMIND ME TO ERASE THAT FROM MY MEMORY:
WHEW! THERE IT IS:
HURRY!
HONEY FOGELIN: SALT LICKIN' SKULLDUGGERY.
MAN, YOU HAVE GOT TO TEACH ME SOME OF THOSE OLD-MAN SWEAR WORDS:
( sighs )
I JUST DON'T GET IT, WENDY:
I HUG A LOT: I CAN BURP THE ALPHABET:
I HAVE SCRATCH AND SNIFF CLOTHING:
WHY DOES EVERY BOY LEAVE ME?
PFFT: WHO CARES? BOYS ARE THE WORST:
YOU SHOULDN'T GET HUNG UP: MAN.
MAYBE I COME ON TOO STRONG: YOU KNOW?
WELL: WHAT'S YOUR OPENER?
PRETEND I'M A BOY.
MMM, TESTOSTERONE: ( spits )
( loudly ) HI. I'M MABEL! I'M 12 AND OWN A PIG!
WANNA GET MARRIED?
( laughs ) HONESTLY? THAT WAS PERFECT:
YOU SHOULD JUST FORGET ABOUT GUYS: MAN.
WENDY: THAT'S IT. FORGET ABOUT GUYS:
I JUST NEED TO TYPE "SUMMER ROMANCES" INTO THIS THING:
AND I WON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT THEM ANYMORE:
WHOA, HOLD UP, MABEL: WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT THING DOES:
YOU COULD ACCIDENTALLY ERASE, LIKE:
LEARNING TO READ OR BREATHE OR:
OR ONE OF THOSE TERRIBLE SUMMER SONGS
YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD?
LOOK AT ALL THESE TUBES:
PEOPLE MUST'VE BEEN GETTING THEIR MEMORIES ERASED ALL OVER TOWN:
WHOA, LOOK AT THIS:
YES, ROBBIE: WHAT IS IT THAT YOU HAVE SEEN?
ROBBIE: SPEAK HONESTLY:
WHY ARE THEY ERASING PEOPLE'S MEMORIES?
I STILL DON'T GET IT.
LOOKY, FELLERS:
IT'S THOSE WORDS WHAT PEOPLE CALL ME:
OH, DUDE, YOUR MEMORIES: WE DID IT:
GRABBY GRABBY:
( beeping )
I GOT IT!
I DON'T KNOW, MABEL. ARE YOU REALLY SURE THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?
ALL IDEAS ARE GOOD IDEAS:
- ( loud beeping ) - DO YOU HEAR THAT?
THE ALARM IN MY BRAIN IS A-RINGIN' AGAIN. AH!
HALT! WHO'S THERE?
- OH, NO! - RUN.
GET BACK HERE!
OH, YOU'VE REALLY TARRED IT UP NOW, FIDDLEFORD:
THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT:
WHY DOES MY BEARD HAVE A BANDAGE?
DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE?
WHY HAS NO ONE POINTED THAT OUT?
OKAY: I THINK WE'RE SAFE.
WE PLAYING "GUESS WHO"?
DUDE: I KNOW IT'S YOU, DIPPER.
SUCH BIG, STRONG HANDS:
( chanting )
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE COME HERE:
WE DO NOT GIVE UP OUR SECRETS LIGHTLY:
WHO ARE YOU BATHROBE-WEARING FREAKS?
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
WHAT'S WITH YOUR CREEPY BRITISH ACCENT?
WELL: I SUPPOSE WE ARE GOING TO ERASE YOUR MINDS ANYWAY:
Mabel: TOBY DETERMINED?
Dipper: BUD GLEEFUL?
Wendy: THAT FARMER GUY?
CREEPY DUDE WHO MARRIED A WOODPECKER?
YOU, TOO? HOW'S THAT MARRIAGE GOIN: BY THE WAY?
OH, GREAT, GREAT:
( whispering ) NOT GREAT:
AND YOU'VE NEVER MET ME BEFORE:
AND IF YOU HAD: YOU WOULDN'T REMEMBER.
I AM BLIND IVAN:
AND WE ARE THE SOCIETY OF THE BLIND EYE:
FORMED MANY YEARS AGO BY OUR FOUNDER:
OUR FOUNDER: DOES ANYONE REMEMBER WHO HE WAS?
WE'VE BEEN USIN' THAT RAY ON OUR OWN BRAINS AN AWFUL LOT:
WHY WOULD YOU DO ALL THIS? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO GAIN?
AS YOU HAVE NO DOUBT DISCOVERED:
SO OUR FOUNDER INVENTED THE NEXT BEST THING—
BY ERASING THE MEMORIES OF THE STRANGE THINGS THEY'VE SEEN.
AND AS A PERK: WE HELP OURSELVES
FORGET THINGS THAT TROUBLE US:
EVERYONE HAS SOMETHING THEY'D RATHER FORGET.
IN FACT: YOUR OWN SISTER
WAS ABOUT TO USE THAT RAY ON HERSELF:
ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
MABEL? SERIOUSLY?
HA-HA. MAYBE:
DON'T YOU SEE? THIS IS RUINING LIVES:
WHAT ABOUT OLD MAN McGUCKET?
HE LIVES IN A HUT AND TALKS TO ANIMALS:
THANKS TO YOU:
DON'T YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT THAT?
MMM, MAYBE A LITTLE:
BUT NOT ANYMORE:
YOU WON'T BE TELLING ANYONE ELSE WHAT YOU'VE LEARNED HERE.
SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOUR SUMMER:
GUYS: IF WE'RE GONNA FORGET EVERYTHING:
I GOT SOME STUFF I WANNA GET OFF MY CHEST:
MABEL, FOR HALF THE SUMMER: I THOUGHT YOUR NAME WAS MAPLE:
LIKE THE SYRUP: NO ONE CORRECTED ME:
I ONLY LOVE SOME OF MY STUFFED ANIMALS:
AND THE GUILT IS KILLING ME!
SOMETIMES I USE BIG WORDS AND I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN:
I MEAN: I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE SMART GUY:
IF I'M NOT THE SMART GUY, WHO AM I?
OKAY: I'M NOT ACTUALLY LAID BACK:
I'M STRESSED, LIKE: 24/7.
HAVE YOU MET MY FAMILY?
( all talking at once )
OH, STOP BEING A BUNCH OF BABIES:
- OWIE! - ( all gasping )
All: McGUCKET?
I RAIDED THE MINING DISPLAY FOR WEAPONS:
NOW FIGHT LIKE A HILLBILLY, FELLERS:
NOBODY BETTER MESS:
THEY KNOW TOO MUCH: DON'T LET THEM ESCAPE!
GET THIS SONG OUTTA YOUR HEAD:
DYSENTERY'S GONNA GET YOU, DAWG:
I GOTTA GET THE MEMORY TUBE:
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
( shrieks )
MABEL, CATCH:
I'LL TAKE THAT, THANK YOU:
GIVE IT UP: BOY.
YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR THE UNSTOPPABLE POWER OF:
THAT'S RIGHT, I DON'T WEAR NOTHIN' UNDER MY ROBE.
NOT GONNA APOLOGIZE FOR THAT:
MAYBE Y'ALL SHOULD APOLOGIZE FOR BEIN' A BUNCH OF PRUDES.
All: EWW!
TIME TO ERASE THAT FOREVER:
- GIVE ME THAT TUBE: - NEVER!
THAT MEMORY BELONGS TO McGUCKET:
THE SOCIETY'S SECRETS BELONG TO US:
END OF THE LINE:
BY TOMORROW: THIS WILL ALL SEEM LIKE A BAD DREAM:
SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOUR PRECIOUS MEMORIES:
NO!
McGUCKET: YOU TOOK A BULLET FOR ME:
OH, MY GOSH! ARE YOU OKAY?
OKAY AS I'LL EVER BE. ( laughs )
WHAT?
WHY... ISN'T... THIS: WORKING?
HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT, BALDY:
MY MIND'S BEEN GONE FOR 30-ODD YEARS:
YOU CAN'T BREAK WHAT'S ALREADY BROKEN.
SAY GOOD NIGHT: SALLY:
UNHAND US!
IT ISN'T SO FUN BEING TIED UP: IS IT?
- HEY, WANNA DRAW ON THEIR FACES? - WHAT?
- TRA-LA-LA: - HEY, STOP THAT!
THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
IT'S PRETTY FUNNY.
IT'S, LIKE, OBJECTIVELY FUNNY:
WE'LL HAVE OUR REVENGE.
WE'LL NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU'VE DONE.
OH, I THINK YOU JUST MIGHT:
SAY CHEESE:
( all protesting )
THANKS FOR VISITING THE MUSEUM FOR GOLD MINER APPRECIATION NIGHT:
BE SURE TO TIP THE GOLD MINER ON YOUR WAY OUT:
I'M SORRY, BUT WHAT'S MY NAME?
WHERE AM I?
OH, MIGHT HAVE OVERDONE THAT ONE:
YOUR NAME IS TOOT-TOOT McBUMBERSNAZZLE:
YOU'RE A TRAVELING BANJO MINSTREL:
WITH A SONG IN YOUR HEART
AND FUNNY TATTOOS ON YOUR HEAD:
YES, I AM TOOT-TOOT McBUMBERSNAZZLE: CHEERS!
♪ TOOT-TOOT IS MY NAME ♪
ALL RIGHT: McGUCKET:
ARE YOU READY TO SEE YOUR MEMORIES?
FIND OUT WHO YOU REALLY ARE?
I'M NOT SO SURE.
WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE WHAT I SEE?
WE'VE COME ALL THIS WAY: GO ON.
FIDDLEFORD HADRON McGUCKET:
( all gasping )
SWEET SARSAPARILLA:
OF WHAT I'VE DONE.
I CAN'T RECALL A THING.
I'VE BEEN FORGETTING
MY HAIR'S BEEN A-FALLIN' OUT,
( maniacal giggling and speaking gibberish )
OH, McGUCKET: I'M SO SORRY.
AW, HUSH:
YOU KIDS HELPED ME GET MY MEMORIES BACK: JUST LIKE YOU SAID:
BUT DID YOU WANT THOSE MEMORIES BACK?
AFTER ALL THESE YEARS: I FINALLY KNOW WHO I AM:
MAYBE I MESSED UP IN THE PAST:
BUT NOW THAT I SEEN WHAT HAPPENED:
I CAN BEGIN TO PUT MYSELF TOGETHER AGAIN:
STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS:
SO, WAIT: YOU WEREN'T THE AUTHOR: BUT YOU WORKED WITH HIM:
DO YOU REMEMBER WHO HE WAS?
IT'S BEGINNING TO COME BACK:
BUT I NEED MORE TIME:
AND READING GLASSES: HECK!
( spits ) I GOT SOME REMEMBERIN' TO DO.
SO, MABEL: YOU STILL WANNA ERASE
THOSE FAILED SUMMER ROMANCES?
YOU KNOW: NO ONE LIKES HAVING BAD MEMORIES:
BUT MAYBE IT'S BETTER TO REMEMBER THE BAD THINGS
AND LEARN FROM THEM
THAN TO GO ALL DENIAL CRAZY TRYING TO FORGET:
THAT'S SOME MATURE JUNK RIGHT THERE, MABEL:
YEP. MISS MATURE: THAT'S ME.
HEY, YOU WANNA HELP ME VANDALIZE THIS PICTURE
OF MY JERKY EX-CRUSH?
OOH, YEAH!
WAIT: LET'S GIVE HIM BUCK TEETH:
GOING ON THIS BIG ADVENTURE ACTUALLY MADE ME GET
- THAT STUPID SONG OUT OF MY HEAD: - Soos: NICE:
♪ AM I BLANCHIN: GIRL, WE BLANCHIN' ♪
OH, COME ON!
IT'S ALL SO FAMILIAR.
IT'S ALMOST LIKE I CAN REMEMBER:
ALL RIGHT: YOU'RE GETTING CLOSER.
EVERY DAY: IT'S GETTING STRONGER.
HA! YES! AH!
I DON'T CARE IF IT'S DANGEROUS.
I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES:
I'M GONNA PULL THIS OFF,
AND NO ONE'S GONNA GET IN MY WAY: