1 00:00:01,590 --> 00:00:04,525 ( lightning crashing ) 2 00:00:07,863 --> 00:00:11,799 ( footsteps approaching ) 3 00:00:11,801 --> 00:00:13,835 Well, hello there, traveler. 4 00:00:13,837 --> 00:00:17,171 I see your car broke down on this lonesome country road, 5 00:00:17,173 --> 00:00:19,907 a place so remote that no one can hear your screams! 6 00:00:19,909 --> 00:00:21,242 ( footsteps retreating ) 7 00:00:21,244 --> 00:00:22,710 Pretend I didn't say that. 8 00:00:22,712 --> 00:00:24,712 Come in, come in, but be warned, 9 00:00:24,714 --> 00:00:28,716 if you enter you may be subjected to my tales. 10 00:00:28,718 --> 00:00:32,320 Tales designed to sell my merchandise! 11 00:00:32,322 --> 00:00:35,390 ( evil laughter ) 12 00:00:37,459 --> 00:00:38,726 Sorry, I was thinking 13 00:00:38,728 --> 00:00:40,395 of something funny I heard earlier. 14 00:01:21,904 --> 00:01:24,672 You've come to the Mystery Shack after-hours, 15 00:01:24,674 --> 00:01:26,674 a time when only our creepiest 16 00:01:26,676 --> 00:01:28,910 and most cursed objects are for sale, 17 00:01:28,912 --> 00:01:30,812 like that thing there! 18 00:01:30,814 --> 00:01:32,246 ( thunder cracking ) 19 00:01:32,248 --> 00:01:33,347 No, not a fan? 20 00:01:33,349 --> 00:01:34,982 Too many orifices? 21 00:01:34,984 --> 00:01:37,385 All right, I can tell what you're looking for 22 00:01:37,387 --> 00:01:39,554 is this disembodied hand. 23 00:01:39,556 --> 00:01:41,255 Why is it so expensive? 24 00:01:41,257 --> 00:01:43,558 Well, that's quite a tale 25 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:46,928 and it's called Hands Off! 26 00:01:46,930 --> 00:01:49,230 No, seriously, hands off, that's not for sale. 27 00:01:49,232 --> 00:01:50,298 All right. 28 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:51,966 Hands Off! 29 00:01:56,672 --> 00:01:59,307 Swap meet! Swap meet! Swap meet! 30 00:01:59,309 --> 00:02:01,309 Look at all these priceless treasures. 31 00:02:01,311 --> 00:02:03,978 Bobbly-heads! 32 00:02:03,980 --> 00:02:05,947 They agree with everything I say. 33 00:02:05,949 --> 00:02:07,615 Professor glasses! 34 00:02:07,617 --> 00:02:09,317 They make me look like a genius. 35 00:02:09,319 --> 00:02:11,319 ( groans ) 36 00:02:11,321 --> 00:02:13,454 Look at these faux-gold beauties. 37 00:02:13,456 --> 00:02:15,523 They're mob-boss quality. 38 00:02:17,926 --> 00:02:19,594 All right, kids, 39 00:02:19,596 --> 00:02:22,897 prepare to watch the delicate art of the deal. 40 00:02:22,899 --> 00:02:24,265 Hey, hag-face! 41 00:02:24,267 --> 00:02:26,367 How much for the junk watches? 42 00:02:26,369 --> 00:02:28,369 They are not for sale. 43 00:02:28,371 --> 00:02:31,372 Not for you, Stan Pines! 44 00:02:31,374 --> 00:02:32,974 The wind whispers your name! 45 00:02:32,976 --> 00:02:33,875 ( wind blowing ) 46 00:02:33,877 --> 00:02:35,610 ( chimes tinkling ) 47 00:02:35,612 --> 00:02:37,779 Shh... Shush, you guys. 48 00:02:37,781 --> 00:02:39,480 All right, I get it, you're creepy. 49 00:02:39,482 --> 00:02:41,883 Anyway, less talky, more watchy! 50 00:02:41,885 --> 00:02:45,586 Get your hands off my watch! 51 00:02:45,588 --> 00:02:46,888 Ugh! 52 00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:48,723 Yeesh! Freak show. 53 00:02:48,725 --> 00:02:51,759 Wow, someone needs to work on their social skills. 54 00:02:51,761 --> 00:02:52,960 And their observation skills. 55 00:02:52,962 --> 00:02:54,562 Boom! 56 00:02:54,564 --> 00:02:57,064 Good job, heisting hands. Mwah, mwah. 57 00:02:57,066 --> 00:03:00,468 Grunkle Stan, are you seriously shoplifting from a witch? 58 00:03:00,470 --> 00:03:01,903 That sounded like a curse. 59 00:03:01,905 --> 00:03:03,738 "That sounded like a curse!" 60 00:03:03,740 --> 00:03:05,706 Hey, anyone want to buy a wet blanket? 61 00:03:05,708 --> 00:03:07,408 We got a wet blanket for sale! 62 00:03:07,410 --> 00:03:09,010 ( laughter ) 63 00:03:09,012 --> 00:03:13,080 I can't survive in this market. 64 00:03:13,082 --> 00:03:15,783 ( alarm beeping ) 65 00:03:15,785 --> 00:03:17,018 Ha, curse. 66 00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:18,052 Yeah, right. 67 00:03:18,054 --> 00:03:19,821 Ah! 68 00:03:19,823 --> 00:03:22,723 Wait, is this curse ugly or normal ugly? 69 00:03:22,725 --> 00:03:25,393 Looks like I got off scot-free. 70 00:03:27,462 --> 00:03:29,864 ( screaming ) 71 00:03:29,866 --> 00:03:31,465 All right, kiddos, breakfast time. 72 00:03:31,467 --> 00:03:32,700 Prepare your mouths for— 73 00:03:32,702 --> 00:03:34,001 ( Waddles oinking ) 74 00:03:34,003 --> 00:03:36,470 Whoa! Whoa-ah! No hands! 75 00:03:36,472 --> 00:03:39,040 Grunkle Stan, what happened to your hands? 76 00:03:39,042 --> 00:03:41,108 So I might have got cursed a little, 77 00:03:41,110 --> 00:03:42,877 but the watch looks nice, right? 78 00:03:42,879 --> 00:03:47,982 Foolish man, thieving hands find wicked face! 79 00:03:47,984 --> 00:03:50,952 You must return what isn't yours... 80 00:03:50,954 --> 00:03:51,986 That's better. 81 00:03:51,988 --> 00:03:53,955 I told you, Grunkle Stan, 82 00:03:53,957 --> 00:03:55,957 you got to give that watch back and apologize. 83 00:03:55,959 --> 00:03:57,091 What? 84 00:03:57,093 --> 00:03:59,193 That old crone should apologize to me 85 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,729 for denying my right to buy cheap junk. 86 00:04:01,731 --> 00:04:04,098 I don't need hands, I've got self respect. 87 00:04:08,470 --> 00:04:11,706 Mabel, sweetie, will you make your uncle some hands? 88 00:04:11,708 --> 00:04:13,474 La-la-la. 89 00:04:13,476 --> 00:04:15,743 Hands makeover! 90 00:04:15,745 --> 00:04:17,912 Say hello to your "new hands"! 91 00:04:17,914 --> 00:04:18,913 In quotes. 92 00:04:18,915 --> 00:04:20,047 Nice work, kid. 93 00:04:20,049 --> 00:04:22,049 See, hands are overrated. 94 00:04:22,051 --> 00:04:24,085 I'm ready to take on the day! 95 00:04:24,087 --> 00:04:26,621 Ma'am. 96 00:04:26,623 --> 00:04:28,022 ( screams ) 97 00:04:31,627 --> 00:04:34,128 ( groans ) 98 00:04:36,164 --> 00:04:38,032 Hey, Mr. Pines. 99 00:04:38,034 --> 00:04:41,469 Should we play toss me a dozen eggs like we always do? 100 00:04:41,471 --> 00:04:43,771 No, Jimmy, wait! Not today! 101 00:04:43,773 --> 00:04:45,840 Not today! 102 00:04:48,410 --> 00:04:49,844 Let's find that witch. 103 00:04:51,947 --> 00:04:53,915 MABEL: According to the swap meet pamphlet, 104 00:04:53,917 --> 00:04:55,783 the hand witch lives in a horrible hand witch lair 105 00:04:55,785 --> 00:04:56,884 on Hand Witch Mountain. 106 00:04:56,886 --> 00:04:58,886 STAN: Stop saying hand witch! 107 00:05:02,124 --> 00:05:04,725 Grunkle Stan, did you just tap my shoulder? 108 00:05:04,727 --> 00:05:05,993 Kid, I can't tap anything. 109 00:05:08,063 --> 00:05:10,731 Guys, can you stop tapping both my shoulders? 110 00:05:10,733 --> 00:05:13,100 ( hands tapping ) 111 00:05:15,604 --> 00:05:17,738 ( screaming ) 112 00:05:19,908 --> 00:05:22,043 Hands! Lots of hands! 113 00:05:24,046 --> 00:05:24,979 Ah! 114 00:05:30,619 --> 00:05:32,620 Ah! 115 00:05:32,622 --> 00:05:34,021 ( screaming ) 116 00:05:34,023 --> 00:05:37,058 ( evil laughter ) 117 00:05:37,060 --> 00:05:39,727 Look at this touching scene. 118 00:05:39,729 --> 00:05:41,162 Up top! 119 00:05:41,164 --> 00:05:43,064 You guys, you guys get me. 120 00:05:43,066 --> 00:05:45,032 All right, you horrible wench, you got me. 121 00:05:45,034 --> 00:05:46,934 Stealing is wrong, etcetera, take it. 122 00:05:46,936 --> 00:05:48,970 Now can I have my hands back? 123 00:05:48,972 --> 00:05:51,639 I have a certain gesture I'd like to share with you. 124 00:05:51,641 --> 00:05:55,843 Alas, your hands cannot be gotten so easily. 125 00:05:55,845 --> 00:05:59,046 The spirits say, um... 126 00:05:59,048 --> 00:06:03,684 that the curse can only be broken by a kiss! 127 00:06:03,686 --> 00:06:05,052 ALL: What? 128 00:06:05,054 --> 00:06:06,988 It's all right, kids. 129 00:06:06,990 --> 00:06:08,622 Just look away. 130 00:06:12,060 --> 00:06:14,061 A kiss on the lips! 131 00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:17,064 What? Forget it! I'm not kissing any of that mess. 132 00:06:17,066 --> 00:06:18,699 I don't need my hands that bad. 133 00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:20,568 Yeah, you're just making stuff up now. 134 00:06:20,570 --> 00:06:21,802 Let's go, kids. 135 00:06:21,804 --> 00:06:23,771 No, wait! Don't go! 136 00:06:23,773 --> 00:06:25,239 You're right, you're right. 137 00:06:25,241 --> 00:06:27,942 I was just making all that stuff up. 138 00:06:27,944 --> 00:06:30,578 Just trying to get something going, you know. 139 00:06:30,580 --> 00:06:32,580 So hard to meet people these days. 140 00:06:32,582 --> 00:06:34,048 ( snaps fingers ) 141 00:06:34,050 --> 00:06:36,584 So this was all just a ploy to get a date? 142 00:06:36,586 --> 00:06:37,985 I'm desperate, okay? 143 00:06:37,987 --> 00:06:39,987 But every time I bring someone back here 144 00:06:39,989 --> 00:06:43,691 without keeping their hands hostage, they just run away! 145 00:06:43,693 --> 00:06:45,559 Well, yeah, look at this horror show. 146 00:06:45,561 --> 00:06:47,228 It's creepy even for a cave! 147 00:06:47,230 --> 00:06:49,063 You just need to redecorate. 148 00:06:49,065 --> 00:06:50,998 For example... 149 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,167 A handelabra! 150 00:06:54,536 --> 00:06:56,937 Ooh, the hand witch likes. 151 00:06:56,939 --> 00:06:58,272 Then watch me work. 152 00:06:58,274 --> 00:07:01,542 Home makeover! 153 00:07:04,646 --> 00:07:05,713 Redecorate. 154 00:07:07,716 --> 00:07:09,016 Redo you. 155 00:07:11,086 --> 00:07:12,953 Change it around. 156 00:07:12,955 --> 00:07:15,890 You got to do it to make it work. 157 00:07:17,292 --> 00:07:21,128 Okay. Time to take a look at your fantastic new cave. 158 00:07:21,130 --> 00:07:23,130 ( gasps ) 159 00:07:23,132 --> 00:07:25,766 MABEL: Men will definitely tolerate you now. 160 00:07:25,768 --> 00:07:28,636 And I left a book of pickup lines on the end table. 161 00:07:28,638 --> 00:07:30,838 Blah! Oh, my goodness! 162 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,706 I can't believe this is the same cave! 163 00:07:32,708 --> 00:07:33,974 Oh, my goodness! 164 00:07:33,976 --> 00:07:36,010 I just can't find the words. 165 00:07:36,012 --> 00:07:38,012 How about "Here's your hands back"? 166 00:07:38,014 --> 00:07:39,180 Oh, right. 167 00:07:39,182 --> 00:07:40,948 ( snaps fingers ) 168 00:07:40,950 --> 00:07:43,717 ( tapping ) 169 00:07:45,020 --> 00:07:46,787 Shaky, Scratchy. 170 00:07:46,789 --> 00:07:48,656 I've missed you old rascals. 171 00:07:48,658 --> 00:07:50,157 You're all right, sister. 172 00:07:52,127 --> 00:07:53,661 Will you be my boyfriend now? 173 00:07:53,663 --> 00:07:54,962 No, never. 174 00:07:54,964 --> 00:07:56,931 Well, I learned nothing. 175 00:07:56,933 --> 00:08:00,334 Back to my crippling loneliness. 176 00:08:00,336 --> 00:08:03,003 Hey, I'm lost in these mountains. 177 00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:05,072 Could I crash here for the night? 178 00:08:05,074 --> 00:08:07,908 Please, come in. Uh... 179 00:08:08,844 --> 00:08:09,910 ( clears throat ) 180 00:08:09,912 --> 00:08:12,079 "Girl, are those space pants? 181 00:08:12,081 --> 00:08:15,182 Because your butt looks out of this world." 182 00:08:15,184 --> 00:08:17,051 Wow. Thanks for noticing. 183 00:08:17,053 --> 00:08:18,152 Yes! 184 00:08:18,154 --> 00:08:21,355 All right, I get it. 185 00:08:21,357 --> 00:08:24,024 You don't want the hand, you're a savvy customer. 186 00:08:24,026 --> 00:08:27,128 But perhaps you'd be interested in buying, um... 187 00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,865 this magic pig. 188 00:08:30,867 --> 00:08:32,399 Sure he doesn't look magic, 189 00:08:32,401 --> 00:08:34,869 but there is a very interesting story 190 00:08:34,871 --> 00:08:36,103 I'm about to make up about him, 191 00:08:36,105 --> 00:08:38,939 and it's called Abaconings! 192 00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,712 "The What-The-Heck-A-Hedron! 193 00:08:44,714 --> 00:08:46,380 Solve this test of intelligence 194 00:08:46,382 --> 00:08:49,383 and your photo could be on this box." 195 00:08:49,385 --> 00:08:52,286 Whoa. That's false advertising I can get behind. 196 00:08:54,256 --> 00:08:55,856 ( buzzing ) 197 00:08:55,858 --> 00:08:56,991 Come on. 198 00:08:56,993 --> 00:08:57,992 ( buzzing ) 199 00:08:57,994 --> 00:08:59,093 Ugh! 200 00:08:59,095 --> 00:09:00,861 MABEL: Ooh, that's a bummer. 201 00:09:00,863 --> 00:09:04,098 This is May May and The Hogg coming at you on the AM. 202 00:09:04,100 --> 00:09:05,099 ( oinks ) 203 00:09:05,101 --> 00:09:06,233 Whoa! 204 00:09:06,235 --> 00:09:08,235 Not sure we can say that on the air. 205 00:09:08,237 --> 00:09:10,004 Don't touch that dial, truckers, 206 00:09:10,006 --> 00:09:11,672 'cause The Hogg just ate it. 207 00:09:11,674 --> 00:09:13,007 ( honking, farts ) 208 00:09:13,009 --> 00:09:14,842 Mabel, could you knock it off? 209 00:09:14,844 --> 00:09:16,844 I'm trying to solve this intelligence puzzle, 210 00:09:16,846 --> 00:09:18,078 but it seems impossible. 211 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:19,280 ( buzzing ) 212 00:09:19,282 --> 00:09:21,682 Maybe you're just not smart enough. 213 00:09:23,118 --> 00:09:25,052 We'll see about that. 214 00:09:28,790 --> 00:09:32,026 Buried near the falls is the legendary percepshroom. 215 00:09:32,028 --> 00:09:33,794 To increase brain power, grind it up 216 00:09:33,796 --> 00:09:35,296 and apply to the forehead overnight. 217 00:09:36,932 --> 00:09:39,300 Tomorrow, I own you! 218 00:09:42,971 --> 00:09:44,872 ( snoring ) 219 00:09:45,974 --> 00:09:47,408 ( sniffs ) 220 00:10:01,156 --> 00:10:04,858 ( oinking ) 221 00:10:06,928 --> 00:10:08,128 Ha-ha! 222 00:10:08,130 --> 00:10:09,797 I feel smarter already. 223 00:10:09,799 --> 00:10:12,299 The digits of pi are 3.1... 224 00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:13,467 Um... 225 00:10:13,469 --> 00:10:16,170 415926 etcetera. 226 00:10:16,172 --> 00:10:17,838 What? Who said that? 227 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:18,939 Mabel? 228 00:10:18,941 --> 00:10:20,741 Whoa! Dipper, look. 229 00:10:23,478 --> 00:10:27,514 Greetings, friends. It is I, Waddles the pig. 230 00:10:27,516 --> 00:10:29,250 What? Waddles, what happened to you? 231 00:10:29,252 --> 00:10:31,986 Have you been possessed by the spirit of a nerd? 232 00:10:31,988 --> 00:10:34,121 I understand my transformation may be vexing, 233 00:10:34,123 --> 00:10:36,991 but I have prepared a presentation. 234 00:10:36,993 --> 00:10:41,128 Forgive me. My pig arms are cute and useless. 235 00:10:41,130 --> 00:10:44,131 The brain goop! You ate it and built all this, didn't you? 236 00:10:44,133 --> 00:10:45,266 This isn't right! 237 00:10:45,268 --> 00:10:48,035 The pig goes oink. The pig goes oink! 238 00:10:48,037 --> 00:10:49,970 Now the pig goes wherever he can shine 239 00:10:49,972 --> 00:10:53,007 the light of knowledge into the darkness of ignorance. 240 00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:54,508 Whoa! What the heck-a-hedron! 241 00:10:54,510 --> 00:10:56,343 How did you do that? 242 00:10:56,345 --> 00:10:59,046 I can teach you, Dipper. I can teach you many things. 243 00:10:59,048 --> 00:11:01,482 From the secrets of astrophysics to the— 244 00:11:01,484 --> 00:11:02,416 Hey, hey! 245 00:11:02,418 --> 00:11:05,419 ( oinking ) 246 00:11:05,421 --> 00:11:08,022 Man, I am loving this new Waddles. 247 00:11:08,024 --> 00:11:11,558 Yeah, he's, uh, he's definitely... 248 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:12,960 different. 249 00:11:15,263 --> 00:11:17,097 ( bleats ) 250 00:11:17,099 --> 00:11:19,266 Dude, that rocket cart is amazing! 251 00:11:19,268 --> 00:11:21,135 You and me should go invent stuff. 252 00:11:21,137 --> 00:11:23,937 Uh, Waddles, don't you want to stay up here 253 00:11:23,939 --> 00:11:26,106 and record some morning pranks with me? 254 00:11:26,108 --> 00:11:28,075 Mabel, this pig's got a gift. 255 00:11:28,077 --> 00:11:29,209 He needs to share it with the world. 256 00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:31,078 I'm sorry, Mabel. 257 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,113 There is more to life than making fart noises 258 00:11:33,115 --> 00:11:35,249 and laughing at those fart noises. 259 00:11:35,251 --> 00:11:36,517 I see that now. 260 00:11:36,519 --> 00:11:38,519 ( chuckling ) 261 00:11:38,521 --> 00:11:42,489 Yeah, you guys just go on without me. 262 00:11:42,491 --> 00:11:44,325 ( sighs ) 263 00:11:44,327 --> 00:11:45,392 ( farts ) 264 00:11:47,395 --> 00:11:49,430 Oh, my kite got stuck in a tree. 265 00:11:49,432 --> 00:11:51,332 I hate everything! 266 00:11:51,334 --> 00:11:53,267 I bet we could be of service. 267 00:11:53,269 --> 00:11:55,869 Ah! An affront against nature! 268 00:11:55,871 --> 00:11:57,204 Ha! Forget kites. 269 00:11:57,206 --> 00:11:59,640 Here, take this rocket pack I invented 270 00:11:59,642 --> 00:12:01,842 and explore the heavens yourself. 271 00:12:01,844 --> 00:12:04,378 Forget that, Grenda is gonna look at cute boys 272 00:12:04,380 --> 00:12:06,046 through skylights. 273 00:12:10,618 --> 00:12:13,020 I rule the sky! 274 00:12:13,022 --> 00:12:15,255 Dude, that rocket pack we made was amazing. 275 00:12:15,257 --> 00:12:17,591 Don't forget the laser gun we made for Candy. 276 00:12:17,593 --> 00:12:19,026 ( lasers firing ) 277 00:12:19,028 --> 00:12:20,461 CANDY: That's to my enemies! 278 00:12:20,463 --> 00:12:22,930 ( laughter ) 279 00:12:22,932 --> 00:12:25,099 Welcome to May May and The Hogg AM. 280 00:12:25,101 --> 00:12:26,867 Top story today, 281 00:12:26,869 --> 00:12:31,105 coping with crippling loneliness after losing my co-host. 282 00:12:31,107 --> 00:12:32,573 ♪ Loneliness! 283 00:12:34,409 --> 00:12:36,643 What did that nasty goop do to you? 284 00:12:36,645 --> 00:12:40,147 You're not happier like this, are you? 285 00:12:40,149 --> 00:12:43,117 ( crash ) 286 00:12:43,119 --> 00:12:45,953 Ha-ha. This is your greatest invention yet. 287 00:12:45,955 --> 00:12:48,122 It could solve every problem of mankind. 288 00:12:48,124 --> 00:12:50,090 And bring me many potatoes, 289 00:12:50,092 --> 00:12:52,493 delicious potatoes. 290 00:12:52,495 --> 00:12:55,596 Yummy yummy for my fat little pig tummy. 291 00:12:55,598 --> 00:12:57,398 What the heck is going on here? 292 00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,333 Mabel, you are just in time 293 00:12:59,335 --> 00:13:01,602 to behold our greatest achievement. 294 00:13:01,604 --> 00:13:04,071 The smarticle accelerator! 295 00:13:04,073 --> 00:13:07,074 Solving that brain puzzle was just the tip of the iceberg. 296 00:13:07,076 --> 00:13:09,176 With this, Waddles will be able to solve 297 00:13:09,178 --> 00:13:11,211 all the greatest puzzles of the universe. 298 00:13:11,213 --> 00:13:14,415 The origin of life. The meaning of existence. 299 00:13:14,417 --> 00:13:16,116 Why dudes have nipples. 300 00:13:18,219 --> 00:13:21,054 Soon your pig is gonna be world famous, 301 00:13:21,056 --> 00:13:23,490 meeting with scientists, presidents. 302 00:13:23,492 --> 00:13:26,026 I wonder if I can teach him to wear pants. 303 00:13:26,028 --> 00:13:27,327 The whole world? 304 00:13:27,329 --> 00:13:29,163 But when will you have time for us? 305 00:13:29,165 --> 00:13:30,697 I'm your best friend. 306 00:13:30,699 --> 00:13:32,332 I'm still your friend, Mabel. 307 00:13:32,334 --> 00:13:34,501 But I'm helping people now. 308 00:13:34,503 --> 00:13:36,336 But what about helping me? 309 00:13:36,338 --> 00:13:39,072 Do you really want to spend your whole life in meetings 310 00:13:39,074 --> 00:13:40,707 with dumb smart guys? 311 00:13:40,709 --> 00:13:43,477 This brain junk has made you forget who you are. 312 00:13:43,479 --> 00:13:45,646 Don't you remember us? 313 00:13:48,016 --> 00:13:51,218 ♪ Remember those times 314 00:13:51,220 --> 00:13:54,421 ♪ Don't forget to remember those times ♪ 315 00:13:54,423 --> 00:14:01,094 ♪ Just remember to remember those times ♪ 316 00:14:01,096 --> 00:14:02,262 It all makes sense now. 317 00:14:02,264 --> 00:14:04,164 What good is helping the world 318 00:14:04,166 --> 00:14:07,100 if I can't help my favorite person in the world? 319 00:14:07,102 --> 00:14:09,203 It's a good thing I built in a dum-dum switch. 320 00:14:13,708 --> 00:14:16,009 Waddles! Waddles, don't! Wait! 321 00:14:17,712 --> 00:14:19,313 I'm sorry, Dipper. 322 00:14:19,315 --> 00:14:20,547 In my last eight seconds of consciousness, 323 00:14:20,549 --> 00:14:22,049 I want you to know 324 00:14:22,051 --> 00:14:24,051 that science is a horizon to search for, 325 00:14:24,053 --> 00:14:26,153 not a prize to hold in your hand. 326 00:14:26,155 --> 00:14:28,755 Also I miss getting my tummy tickled. 327 00:14:28,757 --> 00:14:31,158 ( oinking ) 328 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,260 Oh, Waddles. 329 00:14:33,262 --> 00:14:35,329 ( electrical crackling ) 330 00:14:38,066 --> 00:14:40,267 No! Our invention! 331 00:14:40,269 --> 00:14:43,103 I know what will make you feel better. 332 00:14:43,105 --> 00:14:45,572 A simple hug from a simple pig. 333 00:14:45,574 --> 00:14:48,075 Yeah, guess so. 334 00:14:49,043 --> 00:14:51,111 ( laughs ) 335 00:14:53,381 --> 00:14:55,048 Good pig. Ugh. 336 00:14:56,551 --> 00:14:58,619 You know what? You're right. Don't buy the pig. 337 00:14:58,621 --> 00:15:00,454 In fact I'm better off leaving it with my niece. 338 00:15:00,456 --> 00:15:01,722 ( arrow twanging ) 339 00:15:01,724 --> 00:15:03,624 No shooting in the house, sweetie. 340 00:15:03,626 --> 00:15:07,194 But perhaps I could interest you in something else. 341 00:15:07,196 --> 00:15:10,197 Like these spooky movies! 342 00:15:10,199 --> 00:15:11,498 Movies are great. 343 00:15:11,500 --> 00:15:13,634 You watch the movie, you scare the girl, 344 00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:15,135 the girl snuggles up next to you. 345 00:15:15,137 --> 00:15:16,737 Next thing you know, you got to raise a kid, 346 00:15:16,739 --> 00:15:18,205 your life falls apart. 347 00:15:18,207 --> 00:15:19,373 Forget that last part. 348 00:15:19,375 --> 00:15:22,309 This next tale is called Clay Day! 349 00:15:26,214 --> 00:15:28,615 GIRL: ( on TV ) You did it, Shimmery Twinkleheart! 350 00:15:28,617 --> 00:15:30,350 No, you did it, Cinnamon. 351 00:15:30,352 --> 00:15:33,453 Because you believed in yourself. 352 00:15:33,455 --> 00:15:35,355 Everything about this is bad. 353 00:15:35,357 --> 00:15:36,790 Well, that just put me 90 minutes 354 00:15:36,792 --> 00:15:38,158 closer to death. 355 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,359 It's time you kids learn to watch 356 00:15:39,361 --> 00:15:40,494 the classics from my day. 357 00:15:40,496 --> 00:15:42,629 Ooh, old people movies. 358 00:15:42,631 --> 00:15:45,065 Get ready for references we don't understand 359 00:15:45,067 --> 00:15:46,199 and words we can't repeat. 360 00:15:50,171 --> 00:15:52,706 You're no match for Loinclothiclese. 361 00:15:52,708 --> 00:15:54,741 I've come for the golden pants. 362 00:15:54,743 --> 00:15:56,710 ( roars ) 363 00:15:56,712 --> 00:15:57,811 ( screaming ) 364 00:15:59,147 --> 00:16:00,647 Oh, no! Mabel! 365 00:16:00,649 --> 00:16:02,215 Well, your sister is broken. 366 00:16:02,217 --> 00:16:04,718 Oh, Grunkle Stan, I should have told you before 367 00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,653 that Mabel has a childhood terror 368 00:16:06,655 --> 00:16:08,822 of old-timey stop-motion animation. 369 00:16:08,824 --> 00:16:11,458 It's like her number one fear since we were kids. 370 00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:14,127 ( chuckles ) Come on, those hokey old things, 371 00:16:14,129 --> 00:16:15,629 how scared could she be? 372 00:16:16,864 --> 00:16:20,701 The Cyclops! His face is made of nightmares! 373 00:16:20,703 --> 00:16:22,803 Kid, it's just a movie. It can't hurt you. 374 00:16:22,805 --> 00:16:23,804 No talking. 375 00:16:23,806 --> 00:16:24,838 They wait for you to talk 376 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,207 and then crawl inside your mouth! 377 00:16:27,209 --> 00:16:29,209 Why did you have to show her that tape? 378 00:16:29,211 --> 00:16:31,111 There's got to be a way to get her over this! 379 00:16:34,549 --> 00:16:35,616 Huh... 380 00:16:39,220 --> 00:16:41,421 All right, if we can just get the director to show her 381 00:16:41,423 --> 00:16:43,724 the models are fake, maybe she'll finally calm down. 382 00:16:43,726 --> 00:16:44,725 I don't know, dude. 383 00:16:44,727 --> 00:16:45,892 According to the internet, 384 00:16:45,894 --> 00:16:47,227 special effects genius Harry Claymore 385 00:16:47,229 --> 00:16:48,662 is some kind of recluse. 386 00:16:48,664 --> 00:16:51,531 Man wants his privacy. I can respect that. 387 00:16:54,202 --> 00:16:56,136 Well, everyone over the fence. 388 00:16:56,138 --> 00:16:58,872 You see, Mabel, those monsters are just tiny clay figures 389 00:16:58,874 --> 00:17:02,209 moved around one frame at a time by an antisocial shut-in. 390 00:17:02,211 --> 00:17:04,444 Those people are called animators. 391 00:17:05,847 --> 00:17:07,314 Hello? ( echoes ) 392 00:17:07,316 --> 00:17:09,650 Mr. Claymore? 393 00:17:09,652 --> 00:17:11,518 We want to get a look at your figurines. 394 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,353 We're not paparazzi. 395 00:17:14,355 --> 00:17:15,822 Aha! 396 00:17:15,824 --> 00:17:18,525 See, Mabel, it's all just special effects. 397 00:17:18,527 --> 00:17:19,726 You can come out. 398 00:17:19,728 --> 00:17:20,794 MABEL: No! 399 00:17:20,796 --> 00:17:21,795 Kid, listen to me. 400 00:17:21,797 --> 00:17:23,196 For the last time, 401 00:17:23,198 --> 00:17:25,866 there is nothing here to be afraid of— 402 00:17:26,934 --> 00:17:29,536 ( roars ) 403 00:17:29,538 --> 00:17:31,204 ( screaming ) 404 00:17:31,206 --> 00:17:32,272 ( groans ) 405 00:17:33,374 --> 00:17:35,275 It's slowly... 406 00:17:36,277 --> 00:17:37,844 swiping at us! 407 00:17:37,846 --> 00:17:40,480 Let's escape by standing still! 408 00:17:40,482 --> 00:17:42,783 Oh, it didn't work! 409 00:17:42,785 --> 00:17:45,452 ( screaming ) 410 00:17:47,655 --> 00:17:49,222 Whoa! 411 00:17:49,224 --> 00:17:50,657 ( screams ) 412 00:17:50,659 --> 00:17:51,658 ( roars ) 413 00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:53,660 ( screaming ) 414 00:17:53,662 --> 00:17:55,262 ( groans ) 415 00:17:57,799 --> 00:18:00,867 How is this happening? What do they want? 416 00:18:00,869 --> 00:18:03,236 HARRY: I'm afraid they want you. 417 00:18:04,972 --> 00:18:07,808 Harry Claymore, master of special effects, 418 00:18:07,810 --> 00:18:09,810 circa 1970 something. 419 00:18:09,812 --> 00:18:13,580 Alas, my effects are more special than you know. 420 00:18:13,582 --> 00:18:15,348 What? But how are these things real? 421 00:18:15,350 --> 00:18:16,349 What about stop motion? 422 00:18:16,351 --> 00:18:17,551 What? 423 00:18:17,553 --> 00:18:18,785 Do you really believe someone 424 00:18:18,787 --> 00:18:20,754 moves these figures one frame at a time? 425 00:18:20,756 --> 00:18:22,422 I'm not a masochist. 426 00:18:22,424 --> 00:18:25,225 I used black magic to make them animate themselves. 427 00:18:25,227 --> 00:18:27,494 It was great at first, but one day... 428 00:18:32,233 --> 00:18:33,800 No! 429 00:18:33,802 --> 00:18:35,902 Where's the heart? 430 00:18:35,904 --> 00:18:37,871 HARRY: Now that they were out of work, 431 00:18:37,873 --> 00:18:41,241 they went mad and enslaved me! 432 00:18:41,243 --> 00:18:44,578 And now they will turn you into unholy beasts of clay 433 00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:46,313 to join in their mischief! 434 00:18:46,315 --> 00:18:47,748 Well, Mr. Pines, at least you'll finally 435 00:18:47,750 --> 00:18:49,583 get to work with your favorite director. 436 00:18:49,585 --> 00:18:52,552 And by work, I mean, suffocate inside a big wad of clay. 437 00:18:53,721 --> 00:18:54,855 DIPPER: Help! 438 00:18:54,857 --> 00:18:55,956 Somebody help us! 439 00:18:55,958 --> 00:18:56,890 Help! 440 00:18:56,892 --> 00:18:58,458 Oh, what do I do? 441 00:18:58,460 --> 00:19:01,394 How can I defeat those monstrosities? 442 00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:07,801 Hey, I changed it into something I like. 443 00:19:07,803 --> 00:19:10,871 Whoa. I think I have an idea! 444 00:19:12,039 --> 00:19:13,974 Hey, one-eyed-clops! 445 00:19:13,976 --> 00:19:15,942 Yeah, I'm talking to you, dum-dum! 446 00:19:15,944 --> 00:19:17,310 Come at me! 447 00:19:17,312 --> 00:19:18,512 ( yells ) 448 00:19:25,553 --> 00:19:27,053 Ah! 449 00:19:27,055 --> 00:19:29,456 Wipe that face off your face. 450 00:19:30,992 --> 00:19:33,827 Oh, I've got big plans for you! 451 00:19:33,829 --> 00:19:35,629 Hey, skeleton dorks! 452 00:19:35,631 --> 00:19:38,298 It's "clayback" time! 453 00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:40,066 Whoo-hoo-hoo. 454 00:19:41,769 --> 00:19:43,670 Dude, you conquered your fear. 455 00:19:43,672 --> 00:19:46,973 That's right. Because she believed in herself. 456 00:19:46,975 --> 00:19:48,542 Can it, Twinkleheart! 457 00:19:48,544 --> 00:19:50,877 Just start pounding those skeletons! 458 00:19:53,614 --> 00:19:55,015 Mabel, you did it. 459 00:19:55,017 --> 00:19:56,516 So you're not scared anymore? 460 00:19:56,518 --> 00:19:58,552 Oh, I'm scared twice as much now, 461 00:19:58,554 --> 00:20:00,954 but now I know it's rational. 462 00:20:00,956 --> 00:20:03,690 Kid, I'm sorry I doubted you. You were right. 463 00:20:03,692 --> 00:20:05,826 Stop motion is pure evil. 464 00:20:05,828 --> 00:20:07,894 And probably really expensive. 465 00:20:07,896 --> 00:20:09,763 Incredibly expensive. 466 00:20:11,332 --> 00:20:12,966 This is an impressive fight though. 467 00:20:12,968 --> 00:20:14,901 I'm glad I'm facing towards it. 468 00:20:16,437 --> 00:20:17,804 ALL: Yay! 469 00:20:17,806 --> 00:20:19,005 That was the best part. 470 00:20:25,947 --> 00:20:29,649 Well, I think today we learned that you can remold your fears. 471 00:20:29,651 --> 00:20:32,085 I'm just glad none of us got turned into clay. 472 00:20:34,989 --> 00:20:37,457 Who wants to see me change into most anything? 473 00:20:37,459 --> 00:20:40,026 ( humming ) 474 00:20:40,028 --> 00:20:42,028 I can walk through walls. 475 00:20:42,030 --> 00:20:43,630 Whoa! 476 00:20:44,565 --> 00:20:46,466 We're safe now, kids. 477 00:20:46,468 --> 00:20:48,068 We're safe. 478 00:20:48,070 --> 00:20:49,669 I don't get it. 479 00:20:49,671 --> 00:20:51,571 You don't want the pig, you don't want my tapes, 480 00:20:51,573 --> 00:20:53,473 what are you gonna buy? 481 00:20:53,475 --> 00:20:55,976 How about this delicious potion? 482 00:20:55,978 --> 00:20:57,944 Here, have a free sample. 483 00:20:57,946 --> 00:20:59,512 ( glugging ) 484 00:21:03,851 --> 00:21:04,985 ( thud ) 485 00:21:04,987 --> 00:21:06,453 STAN: You should have bought my merch 486 00:21:06,455 --> 00:21:08,622 when you had the chance, buddy. 487 00:21:08,624 --> 00:21:10,390 But that's okay. 488 00:21:10,392 --> 00:21:12,926 I'll have something new for sale very soon. 489 00:21:12,928 --> 00:21:14,794 ( chuckling ) 490 00:21:16,898 --> 00:21:18,899 And here we have our latest attraction. 491 00:21:18,901 --> 00:21:21,067 The legendary Cheapskate! 492 00:21:21,069 --> 00:21:23,036 I saw it blinking. 493 00:21:23,038 --> 00:21:24,938 Just an optical illusion. 494 00:21:24,940 --> 00:21:26,640 Come along, everyone. 495 00:21:26,642 --> 00:21:28,708 Step right up! ( laughs ) 496 00:21:32,046 --> 00:21:33,914 That's right, I'm a jerk. 497 00:21:33,916 --> 00:21:35,982 Hey, want to play tic-tac-toe? 498 00:21:39,587 --> 00:21:41,888 Hey, I wanted to be Xs, let me be Xs. 499 00:21:41,890 --> 00:21:43,757 Trust me, just let her be Xs. 500 00:21:43,759 --> 00:21:45,058 ( sighs ) 501 00:21:45,060 --> 00:21:47,193 Yay! 502 00:21:47,195 --> 00:21:50,030 Actually I'm sorry. I changed my mind, I'll be Os. 503 00:21:51,198 --> 00:21:53,066 Okay, you're gonna hate me right now, 504 00:21:53,068 --> 00:21:55,468 but is Xs still a possibility? 505 00:21:58,906 --> 00:22:00,941 I don't think you're playing this right.