1 00:00:01,301 --> 00:00:02,219 (HONKING) 2 00:00:02,427 --> 00:00:04,388 - (DIPPER AND MABEL MUNCHING) - (HONKING) 3 00:00:06,515 --> 00:00:09,351 (CHUCKLES) Nacho earrings. I'm hilarious! 4 00:00:09,726 --> 00:00:11,228 - That's debatable. - (HONKING) 5 00:00:11,436 --> 00:00:12,980 Aw, come on! What's with all this traffic? 6 00:00:13,188 --> 00:00:16,483 - And why is it all... Covered wagons? - (NEIGHS) 7 00:00:17,192 --> 00:00:18,902 Oh, no. No! No! 8 00:00:19,778 --> 00:00:20,737 - (GRUNTS) - (TIRES SCREECH) 9 00:00:21,530 --> 00:00:23,365 Not today! Not today! 10 00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:25,325 - (BRAKE SCREECHES) - Oh, heavens! 11 00:00:25,492 --> 00:00:26,618 - Goodness! - (QUACKING) 12 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:28,912 (TIRES SCREECH) 13 00:00:29,121 --> 00:00:30,330 Grunkle Stan, what's going on? 14 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,666 We got to get out of here! Before it's too late! 15 00:00:34,376 --> 00:00:36,003 They've circled the wagons! 16 00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:37,963 We're trapped! No! 17 00:00:40,090 --> 00:00:41,675 (COWBELL TINKLING) 18 00:00:42,467 --> 00:00:44,511 I got a good feeling about today. 19 00:00:44,970 --> 00:00:46,888 (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) 20 00:01:24,718 --> 00:01:26,136 (GIGGLING) 21 00:01:26,678 --> 00:01:28,221 - Man, look at the town. - Wow. 22 00:01:32,142 --> 00:01:34,603 Dirty glass! We got dirty glass! Dirty glass! 23 00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:37,022 STAN: Oh, boy. It's Pioneer Day. 24 00:01:37,439 --> 00:01:39,775 Every year these yahoos dress up like idiots 25 00:01:39,983 --> 00:01:42,069 to celebrate the day Gravity Falls was founded. 26 00:01:42,402 --> 00:01:44,988 Welcome to 1863! 27 00:01:45,322 --> 00:01:47,032 I will break you, little man! 28 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:48,950 - (SCREAMS) - (CRASHING) 29 00:01:49,701 --> 00:01:51,912 Wow, look! Candle clipping! 30 00:01:53,038 --> 00:01:55,040 McGUCKET: Gold! DIPPER: Whoa! Gold panning! 31 00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:57,084 I now pronounce you man and wife. 32 00:01:58,543 --> 00:01:59,544 I do! 33 00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:01,171 What you talking about? 34 00:02:01,546 --> 00:02:03,048 Oh, yeah, I remember this. 35 00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:08,178 In Gravity Falls, it used to be legal to marry woodpeckers. 36 00:02:08,387 --> 00:02:11,181 Oh, it's still legal. Very legal. 37 00:02:11,390 --> 00:02:12,557 ANNOUNCER: (ON SPEAKER) Come, one and all, 38 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,810 for the opening ceremonies! 39 00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:17,813 - Grunkle Stan, you coming? - No, thank you. 40 00:02:18,230 --> 00:02:20,774 Just remember, if you come back to the shack talking like these people, 41 00:02:20,982 --> 00:02:21,900 you're dead to me! 42 00:02:22,234 --> 00:02:25,112 There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar. 43 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,322 Well, hornswoggle my haversack! 44 00:02:27,489 --> 00:02:28,532 (BOTH SPITTING) 45 00:02:28,865 --> 00:02:29,825 (BOTH LAUGHING) 46 00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:31,243 Dead to me! 47 00:02:31,410 --> 00:02:33,078 Hear ye! Hear ye! 48 00:02:33,412 --> 00:02:37,165 Ye olde commencement ceremony is about to commence! 49 00:02:37,541 --> 00:02:38,500 - Whoo! - (BELL TINKLING) 50 00:02:38,917 --> 00:02:40,168 I got a bell! 51 00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:44,131 Oh, no! Police! My purse! 52 00:02:44,715 --> 00:02:46,091 Ring ring! Ring ring! Whoo! 53 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,261 (CHUCKLES) He sure loves his bell. 54 00:02:51,179 --> 00:02:52,431 (FEEDBACK) 55 00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:55,851 Howdy, everyone! You all know me, Pacifica Northwest, 56 00:02:56,059 --> 00:02:59,271 great-great-granddaughter of town founder, Nathaniel Northwest. 57 00:02:59,938 --> 00:03:01,064 I'm also very rich. 58 00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:02,274 (PEOPLE CHEERING AND CLAPPING) 59 00:03:03,692 --> 00:03:05,736 Now, if you've got the pioneer spirit, 60 00:03:05,944 --> 00:03:08,196 we ask you to come on up and introduce yourself. 61 00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:10,073 (GASPS) Audience participation! 62 00:03:10,282 --> 00:03:11,158 I don't know, Mabel. 63 00:03:11,366 --> 00:03:13,285 Isn't that girl kind of like your arch enemy? 64 00:03:13,452 --> 00:03:16,121 That's water under the bridge. (CHUCKLES) 65 00:03:16,371 --> 00:03:18,373 Our first newcomer is 66 00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:19,833 Mabel. 67 00:03:20,125 --> 00:03:24,129 Yeah! Let's get this Pioneer Day started! (BLOWS) 68 00:03:24,337 --> 00:03:27,924 Right, guys? USA! USA! 69 00:03:28,341 --> 00:03:30,427 ALL: (CHANTING) USA! USA! 70 00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:34,264 (TEARFULLY) USA! USA! 71 00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,768 I'm sorry to break it to you, but Pioneer Day is for serious people, 72 00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:39,770 and you look and act ridiculous. 73 00:03:40,061 --> 00:03:44,232 I mean, a puppy playing basketball? Are you always this silly? 74 00:03:45,192 --> 00:03:47,402 Hey. I can be serious. (GRUNTS) 75 00:03:48,236 --> 00:03:51,072 You do have nachos hanging from your ears, hon. 76 00:03:53,116 --> 00:03:55,118 (CHUCKLES) Wow. I'm embarrassed for you. 77 00:03:55,327 --> 00:03:56,328 Give her a hand, everybody! 78 00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:57,746 (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 79 00:04:00,081 --> 00:04:02,125 Now, who wants to hear more about me? 80 00:04:02,292 --> 00:04:03,168 (GRUNTS) Excuse me! 81 00:04:03,335 --> 00:04:05,045 Everyone say, "Northwest!" 82 00:04:05,420 --> 00:04:06,880 - ALL: Northwest! - (CAMERA CLICKS) 83 00:04:07,297 --> 00:04:08,173 (CHUCKLES) 84 00:04:08,381 --> 00:04:09,257 We're perfect. 85 00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,218 Hey, you okay? 86 00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:15,222 - I need some old-timey butterscotch. - Let's get out of here. 87 00:04:19,267 --> 00:04:21,436 - (TIRES SCREECH) - (BRAYING) 88 00:04:21,645 --> 00:04:24,689 Hey there, uh, donkey boy. Give me a hand with my car, huh? 89 00:04:25,023 --> 00:04:28,693 Here in 1863, I have never heard tell of a "car." 90 00:04:29,110 --> 00:04:31,738 Pray tell, what is this magic wheel box? 91 00:04:32,113 --> 00:04:34,491 Ugh! Come on, Steve, you're a mechanic for Pete's sake. 92 00:04:34,699 --> 00:04:35,659 Cut me some slack! 93 00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:40,330 "Slack"? I am unfamiliar with this bold, new expression. 94 00:04:40,539 --> 00:04:42,040 - I can't take this anymore! - (GRUNTS) 95 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:43,959 I'm getting dumber every second I'm here! 96 00:04:44,209 --> 00:04:46,086 Are we going to have to intervene here? 97 00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,672 Oh, look, the "constable." 98 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,633 What are you going to do? Throw me in ye stocks? 99 00:04:51,842 --> 00:04:52,884 (LAUGHS) 100 00:04:54,135 --> 00:04:55,303 Oh, come on! 101 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,055 (SCATTING) 102 00:04:58,181 --> 00:05:01,935 Hey, nice outfit, Gideon. You actually look less girly than usual. 103 00:05:02,143 --> 00:05:03,270 (LAUGHS) 104 00:05:03,478 --> 00:05:07,649 Why, Stanford. I'm just a humble tomato farmer selling his wares. 105 00:05:07,983 --> 00:05:09,651 Whoops! I dropped one. 106 00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:12,112 - (GRUNTS) - Whoops! 107 00:05:12,404 --> 00:05:13,738 I dropped another one. 108 00:05:14,239 --> 00:05:15,198 (GRUNTS) 109 00:05:15,407 --> 00:05:16,449 (GROWLS) 110 00:05:16,658 --> 00:05:18,994 Pioneer Day! 111 00:05:24,332 --> 00:05:26,668 Dipper, can I ask you something? 112 00:05:26,877 --> 00:05:29,087 Do you think I'm silly? 113 00:05:29,337 --> 00:05:31,172 Uh".No? 114 00:05:31,590 --> 00:05:35,260 Ugh! I knew it. The nacho earrings, the sweater. 115 00:05:35,510 --> 00:05:37,137 I thought I was being charming. 116 00:05:37,345 --> 00:05:39,264 But I guess people see me as a big joke. 117 00:05:41,349 --> 00:05:42,475 (GRUNTS) 118 00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:44,477 Come on, Mabel, you love that sweater! 119 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:48,648 I did before Pacifica ruined it for me. She ruins everything! 120 00:05:49,107 --> 00:05:50,108 Pacifica! 121 00:05:51,192 --> 00:05:53,361 Why does she think that being related to the town founder 122 00:05:53,570 --> 00:05:55,280 means she gets to treat everyone like garbage? 123 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:56,990 Someone needs to take her down a peg. 124 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:58,366 (GASPS) Wait a minute! 125 00:05:58,533 --> 00:05:59,618 I feel like I read something about 126 00:05:59,826 --> 00:06:01,661 Pacifica's great-great grandfather before. 127 00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:04,664 Of course! Oh, this is perfect! 128 00:06:04,873 --> 00:06:07,208 (IMITATING AN OLD MAN) "In my investigations..." 129 00:06:07,417 --> 00:06:09,127 - (STUTTERS) Should I do the voice? - Uh-uh. 130 00:06:09,294 --> 00:06:10,337 Nah, I'll just read normal. 131 00:06:10,545 --> 00:06:13,673 "In my investigations, I recently made a discovery. 132 00:06:13,882 --> 00:06:17,260 "Nathaniel Northwest may not be the founder of Gravity Falls! 133 00:06:17,469 --> 00:06:19,054 "I believe the proof of this secret 134 00:06:19,262 --> 00:06:21,348 "is buried somewhere on the enclosed document. 135 00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:25,060 "If only I could crack the code." 136 00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:30,774 Oh, man, if this cover-up is true, 137 00:06:30,982 --> 00:06:33,109 it means Pacifica's whole family is a fraud. 138 00:06:33,318 --> 00:06:35,487 - This could be a major conspiracy. - Really? 139 00:06:35,695 --> 00:06:37,155 I got to investigate this. 140 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:40,909 Wait! I'm coming with you. Conspiracies are serious, right? 141 00:06:41,117 --> 00:06:41,993 Oh, yeah, definitely. 142 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,370 Well, if I help you crack this code, 143 00:06:43,578 --> 00:06:45,413 then nobody could ever call me silly again! 144 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,332 Yeah! Mystery Twins? 145 00:06:47,540 --> 00:06:49,960 - I thought you hated that. - I'm starting to accept it. 146 00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,130 (BOTH LAUGHING) 147 00:06:56,341 --> 00:06:58,510 This is Sheriff Blubs. We've got a code sepia. 148 00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:01,096 (SPITS) What? And what are you doing about it? 149 00:07:01,346 --> 00:07:02,347 I'm following them right now. 150 00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:05,225 Find them and stop them. There's no room for error. 151 00:07:05,433 --> 00:07:07,102 I understand. Blubs out. 152 00:07:07,769 --> 00:07:10,105 Deputy Durland, maintaining this cover-up 153 00:07:10,313 --> 00:07:13,191 is the mission we've been training for our entire careers. 154 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,026 - Are you ready? - Whoo! 155 00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:17,404 (CHUCKLES) If being delightful was a crime, 156 00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:18,989 you'd be breaking the law. 157 00:07:19,197 --> 00:07:20,407 - Let's go get 'em! - (BELL TINKLING) 158 00:07:20,699 --> 00:07:22,409 - Whoo! - (CHUCKLES) 159 00:07:25,453 --> 00:07:26,413 McGUCKET: Back in olden days, 160 00:07:26,621 --> 00:07:29,791 pioneers drew sustenance from telling stories around the fire. 161 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,044 So let's eat some books, children. Go ahead, eat the books! 162 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:34,921 (GROWLING) 163 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:37,882 All right, Mabel. 164 00:07:38,049 --> 00:07:39,426 If we can prove that Nathaniel Northwest 165 00:07:39,634 --> 00:07:43,346 wasn't the real founder of Gravity Falls, it'll finally put Pacifica in her place. 166 00:07:43,555 --> 00:07:47,225 And solving a mystery will prove that I'm not silly! I'm serious. 167 00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,019 (MUNCHING) 168 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:51,563 Serious! 169 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:55,066 We just need to crack this code. Let me see. 170 00:07:57,152 --> 00:07:59,946 It's not Egyptian. It's not numerology. 171 00:08:00,530 --> 00:08:02,240 It's not... Wait! Of course! 172 00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,951 The triangle is the alchemist's symbol for flame. 173 00:08:05,243 --> 00:08:07,871 Lighting the parchment on fire will reveal the secret message! 174 00:08:08,121 --> 00:08:10,081 It's so obvious! 175 00:08:10,749 --> 00:08:13,835 All right, let's just light this sucker up, and... Mabel! 176 00:08:14,127 --> 00:08:15,628 Mwop! I just made a hat. 177 00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:19,716 Ugh! I just did something silly again! (BLOWS) 178 00:08:20,008 --> 00:08:22,052 Wait, Mabel. You folded it into a map! 179 00:08:24,929 --> 00:08:26,556 And I was going to burn it. 180 00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:29,476 We were on the lookout for two kids who might be reading. 181 00:08:29,684 --> 00:08:31,519 We're hunting 'em down for secret reasons! 182 00:08:31,728 --> 00:08:32,562 - Whoo! - (BELL TINKLING) 183 00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:35,982 Nerp. 184 00:08:36,566 --> 00:08:38,401 Maybe we should take this elsewhere. 185 00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:40,570 The map should lead us to 186 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:45,325 the Gravity Falls Museum of History. 187 00:08:45,784 --> 00:08:47,202 You realize what this means, Mabel. 188 00:08:47,577 --> 00:08:49,704 We're going to have to break in. 189 00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,293 And those are your free Pioneer Day passes, 190 00:08:55,502 --> 00:08:57,504 and your balloons, blue and pink. 191 00:08:59,506 --> 00:09:00,507 We're in. 192 00:09:01,633 --> 00:09:05,762 What are we going to do next? Steal Thomas Jefferson's ribcage? 193 00:09:06,262 --> 00:09:08,223 Ew. No. According to the map, 194 00:09:08,431 --> 00:09:11,601 the next clue about the real town founder should be right here! 195 00:09:13,144 --> 00:09:14,604 We have to figure this one out quick. 196 00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:18,233 I have a feeling those cops weren't at the library to check out books. 197 00:09:18,441 --> 00:09:20,568 I don't think the one with the bell can read. 198 00:09:20,735 --> 00:09:22,070 So what is it, anyway? 199 00:09:23,905 --> 00:09:25,031 BOTH: Hmm. 200 00:09:27,742 --> 00:09:28,701 Hmm... 201 00:09:28,910 --> 00:09:31,412 Hey, painting! Be less stupid! 202 00:09:31,996 --> 00:09:34,374 - (GASPS) It worked. - Huh? 203 00:09:37,502 --> 00:09:40,463 Wait. It's not abstract, it's upside down. 204 00:09:40,672 --> 00:09:42,590 I think I've seen that statue in the cemetery. 205 00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:44,175 Let's go! Quick! 206 00:09:44,509 --> 00:09:45,593 (BOTH GROAN) 207 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:46,511 Head rush. 208 00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,972 I'm sorry, but we're all out of pink balloons. 209 00:09:49,180 --> 00:09:51,015 Why did we even come? 210 00:09:51,683 --> 00:09:53,017 GOVERNMENT AGENT: (OVER RADIO) Officer Blubs. 211 00:09:54,185 --> 00:09:56,312 - Blubs here. - Have the targets been apprehended? 212 00:09:56,646 --> 00:10:00,900 Negative, but we're close. I promise. Those kids will never get past us! 213 00:10:01,192 --> 00:10:02,610 - (BOTH PANTING) - Hey! Wait! 214 00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:05,280 (BOTH YELP) 215 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,198 Dang it! 216 00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:13,830 For the last time, we are not going south for the winter! Our home is here! 217 00:10:14,998 --> 00:10:16,499 You always say that! 218 00:10:18,168 --> 00:10:19,586 Come on. (GRUNTS) 219 00:10:19,794 --> 00:10:21,462 Come on. Argh! 220 00:10:23,506 --> 00:10:27,510 Well, if it isn't Mabel's uncle, Mr. Pines. Looking for this? 221 00:10:27,719 --> 00:10:29,345 Yeah, yeah. What do you want? Money? 222 00:10:29,554 --> 00:10:33,600 I want you to say that the Northwest family is the best family in Gravity Falls. 223 00:10:33,808 --> 00:10:35,602 Oh, sure! You want that in writing? 224 00:10:35,935 --> 00:10:38,021 (GRUNTS) Mmm-hmm. 225 00:10:38,646 --> 00:10:39,647 There we go. 226 00:10:41,024 --> 00:10:43,860 - Ha! I did that with my mouth! - (WHISTLES) 227 00:10:48,656 --> 00:10:49,866 Gah! Come on! 228 00:10:50,700 --> 00:10:51,659 DIPPER: Hmm. 229 00:10:52,827 --> 00:10:56,039 The statue must be pointing to the next clue. 230 00:10:56,247 --> 00:10:59,083 Oh, gross, she's picking my nose! (CHUCKLES) 231 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:00,251 - (CRACKS) - (GRUNTS) 232 00:11:02,754 --> 00:11:03,713 Mabel, look! 233 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:06,257 Ha! Who's silly now, Pacifica? 234 00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:08,718 Bam! Ah, ow, ow! 235 00:11:08,927 --> 00:11:09,802 Okay. 236 00:11:12,555 --> 00:11:17,894 Now we're getting into real conspiracy mode! I feel so serious! 237 00:11:18,645 --> 00:11:19,604 (MUNCHING) 238 00:11:22,023 --> 00:11:24,525 Okay, look out for booby traps. 239 00:11:24,692 --> 00:11:26,527 (SNICKERS) Booby traps. 240 00:11:27,612 --> 00:11:29,364 - (THUDS) - (SWISHING) 241 00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:32,951 - Tranquilizer darts! - (SCREAMS) Whoa! 242 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:34,702 (BOTH PANTING) 243 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:36,788 (BOTH SCREAMING) 244 00:11:44,587 --> 00:11:47,799 It's a treasure trove of historic-y secret-y things! 245 00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:54,681 Oh, man! Ben Franklin secretly was a woman! 246 00:11:54,889 --> 00:11:56,015 Hey, jackpot! 247 00:11:58,142 --> 00:12:00,270 Now we'll find out who the real town founder was. 248 00:12:01,729 --> 00:12:04,565 "Let it be here recorded that Nathaniel Northwest, 249 00:12:04,732 --> 00:12:08,486 "fabled founder of Gravity Falls, was in fact, a fraud! 250 00:12:08,653 --> 00:12:11,781 "As well as a waste-shoveling village idiot?" 251 00:12:12,115 --> 00:12:13,074 (LAUGHS) 252 00:12:13,866 --> 00:12:18,329 Oh. Bad news for Pacifica. Wait till the papers hear about this! 253 00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:21,165 Once people see that I uncovered a historical conspiracy, 254 00:12:21,332 --> 00:12:22,750 they could never call me silly! 255 00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:24,919 "The true founder of Gravity Falls 256 00:12:25,128 --> 00:12:28,423 "was Sir Lord Quentin Trembley III, Esq." 257 00:12:28,673 --> 00:12:29,841 Who's Quentin Trembley? 258 00:12:30,842 --> 00:12:32,218 That's none of your business! 259 00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:33,678 (BOTH GASP) 260 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:35,346 - Whoo! We gotcha! - (BELL TINKLING) 261 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:36,848 Whoo! Whoo. 262 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,267 (GRUNTS) Whoo-hoo... 263 00:12:40,768 --> 00:12:42,812 He got hit with quite a few of those darts. 264 00:12:44,188 --> 00:12:47,567 I hate to do this, but Quentin Trembley's a matter of national security. 265 00:12:47,775 --> 00:12:49,986 Yeah! Whoo... 266 00:12:50,194 --> 00:12:51,863 I think I might be colorblind now. 267 00:12:52,071 --> 00:12:53,406 What do you mean, "national security?" 268 00:12:53,573 --> 00:12:55,700 And who is Quentin Trembley, anyway? 269 00:12:55,908 --> 00:12:57,118 See for yourself. 270 00:13:00,913 --> 00:13:02,832 MABEL: Ugh! It's black and white! 271 00:13:03,041 --> 00:13:04,250 DIPPER: Shh! Mabel! 272 00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:05,752 If you're watching this, 273 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,504 then you are one of eight people in these United States 274 00:13:08,713 --> 00:13:10,798 with clearance to view this information. 275 00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:14,844 In fact, I myself will be shot as soon as the filming is complete. 276 00:13:15,511 --> 00:13:18,056 What, no? (CHUCKLES) Oh, well, that's a relief! 277 00:13:18,890 --> 00:13:21,642 Of all of America's secrets, the most embarrassing 278 00:13:21,809 --> 00:13:22,935 was that of Quentin Trembley, 279 00:13:23,144 --> 00:13:25,938 the eighth and a half President of the United States. 280 00:13:26,147 --> 00:13:27,940 - President? - Eighth and a half? 281 00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:31,694 After winning the 1837 election in a landslide, 282 00:13:33,404 --> 00:13:35,698 Quentin Trembley quickly gained a reputation 283 00:13:35,907 --> 00:13:37,325 as America's silliest president. 284 00:13:37,492 --> 00:13:38,826 He waged war on pancakes, 285 00:13:39,035 --> 00:13:40,828 appointed six babies to the Supreme Court, 286 00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:43,373 and issued the De-pants-apation Proclamation. 287 00:13:43,915 --> 00:13:46,000 His State of the Union speech was even worse. 288 00:13:46,584 --> 00:13:48,795 QUENTIN: The only thing we have to fear 289 00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:51,422 is gigantic man-eating spiders! 290 00:13:51,714 --> 00:13:52,799 NARRATOR: He was kicked out of office 291 00:13:53,007 --> 00:13:55,551 and escaped to an uncharted valley he named Gravity Falls, 292 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,512 after plummeting into it at high speed. 293 00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,014 Trembley's shameful term was erased from history, 294 00:14:00,223 --> 00:14:03,226 and officially replaced by William Henry Harrison as President, 295 00:14:03,434 --> 00:14:06,938 and local nobody, Nathaniel Northwest, as founder of Gravity Falls. 296 00:14:07,230 --> 00:14:10,233 The whereabouts of President Trembley's body are unknown. 297 00:14:12,235 --> 00:14:13,319 Until now. 298 00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:17,865 Whoa! Is that, like, amber or something? 299 00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:19,659 The fool thought he could live forever 300 00:14:19,867 --> 00:14:22,578 by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle. 301 00:14:22,912 --> 00:14:24,831 Smooth move, Mr. President! 302 00:14:25,373 --> 00:14:27,959 Finding Trembley's body was our special mission. 303 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:30,545 And now, thanks to you, it's complete. 304 00:14:30,753 --> 00:14:35,133 Who knew all we had to do was follow a little girl's trail of candy wrappers! 305 00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:37,385 Oh, silly- 306 00:14:37,593 --> 00:14:39,095 Now that you know the truth, 307 00:14:39,303 --> 00:14:42,181 well, we can't let you go around talking about it. 308 00:14:42,390 --> 00:14:43,891 - Does that mean... - Are you going to kill us? 309 00:14:44,100 --> 00:14:45,059 Oh, no! 310 00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:47,603 Now, now, calm down now, buddy, calm down. 311 00:14:47,937 --> 00:14:50,940 We're just going to escort you and all this stuff back to Washington. 312 00:14:51,149 --> 00:14:52,567 You ain't coming back, by the way. 313 00:14:53,985 --> 00:14:55,445 (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING) 314 00:14:56,279 --> 00:14:58,114 Whoo-hoo! We got fold-out beds. 315 00:14:58,322 --> 00:15:01,117 Good thing I brought my book of spooky ghost stories. 316 00:15:01,576 --> 00:15:03,786 I brought rope for friendship bracelets. 317 00:15:03,995 --> 00:15:05,538 (BOTH GIGGLING) 318 00:15:06,038 --> 00:15:09,041 MABEL: Anyone there? Help, help, help! DIPPER: Hey! Let us out! 319 00:15:09,250 --> 00:15:13,129 (SIGHS) I can't believe I left a trail of candy wrappers. 320 00:15:13,463 --> 00:15:17,717 This is all my fault. Pacifica had me pegged all along. 321 00:15:18,009 --> 00:15:19,510 I'm just a silly failure 322 00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:22,472 like that embarrassing President Whatshisname. 323 00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:24,182 (MUNCHING) 324 00:15:24,474 --> 00:15:25,808 (CRACKING) 325 00:15:28,603 --> 00:15:29,520 (BOTH SCREAM) 326 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,898 It is I! Quentin Trembley! 327 00:15:34,358 --> 00:15:36,277 You're alive! But how? 328 00:15:36,486 --> 00:15:40,239 Peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties! 329 00:15:40,448 --> 00:15:42,825 You're not silly. You're brilliant! 330 00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:45,077 And so are you, clear girl. 331 00:15:45,286 --> 00:15:48,831 For following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb! 332 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:52,001 He's right! Making maps into hats, hanging upside down. 333 00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:53,836 Your silliness solved a code 334 00:15:54,045 --> 00:15:56,047 that serious cops couldn't crack in 100 years! 335 00:15:56,214 --> 00:15:57,882 Oh, stop it! 336 00:15:58,132 --> 00:16:03,596 By Jefferson! We seem to be trapped in some sort of crate-shaped box. 337 00:16:03,804 --> 00:16:05,640 It's a crate, Mr. President! 338 00:16:05,848 --> 00:16:09,852 Good thing I have the President's Key, which can open any lock in America! 339 00:16:15,066 --> 00:16:16,192 (GRUNTS) 340 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,610 I don't think that's going to work. 341 00:16:17,818 --> 00:16:20,196 Wood! My age-old enemy. 342 00:16:20,571 --> 00:16:21,781 In order to get out of here, 343 00:16:21,989 --> 00:16:25,201 this is going to take the silliest plan ever conceived. 344 00:16:25,409 --> 00:16:26,827 I think I know who can help you. 345 00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:28,996 Hmm. 346 00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,207 How about that hole? 347 00:16:32,625 --> 00:16:35,127 - We will leap through it! - (BOTH GRUNT) 348 00:16:35,336 --> 00:16:37,797 - QUENTIN: Almost! Almost there. - (MABEL GRUNTS) 349 00:16:38,005 --> 00:16:39,382 Good! Keep pushing! 350 00:16:40,049 --> 00:16:41,551 I'm not sure this is working. 351 00:16:41,926 --> 00:16:43,886 Trust the silliness! 352 00:16:44,262 --> 00:16:46,013 QUENTIN: Fiddlesticks! Keep going! 353 00:16:47,932 --> 00:16:49,642 Is that my third wife? Sandy? 354 00:16:54,605 --> 00:16:56,399 Well, we didn't fit through the hole. 355 00:16:56,607 --> 00:16:58,568 Let's rebuild the box and try again. 356 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:01,445 - We got to get out of here! - Also good! 357 00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:05,616 Blubs? 358 00:17:07,118 --> 00:17:08,077 (ALL PANTING) 359 00:17:08,452 --> 00:17:09,620 ALL: Huh? 360 00:17:09,954 --> 00:17:11,998 QUENTIN: Huh! (GRUNTS) 361 00:17:12,206 --> 00:17:13,124 Gimme that! 362 00:17:24,468 --> 00:17:27,054 (BREATHLESSLY) There is no escape. 363 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,182 Let me... I got to take a knee. 364 00:17:30,391 --> 00:17:32,393 Are you okay? Can I get you anything? 365 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:36,272 Edwin Durland, you are a diamond in the rough. 366 00:17:36,731 --> 00:17:39,400 Sheriff Blubs, do you really wanna lock us all up 367 00:17:39,609 --> 00:17:41,360 in a government facility somewhere? 368 00:17:41,569 --> 00:17:44,530 I've got no choice. Our orders come from the very top. 369 00:17:46,073 --> 00:17:49,410 Wait! Quentin, did you ever sign an official resignation? 370 00:17:49,660 --> 00:17:53,372 No, sir. I ate a salamander and jumped out the window. 371 00:17:53,581 --> 00:17:57,960 Then technically, you're still legally the President of the United States! Right? 372 00:17:58,169 --> 00:18:01,005 - You got to answer to this guy now! - BOTH: Huh? 373 00:18:01,172 --> 00:18:04,091 As President of these several United States, 374 00:18:04,300 --> 00:18:07,553 I hereby order you to pretend none of this ever happened. 375 00:18:07,970 --> 00:18:10,431 And go on a delightful vacation! Ow! 376 00:18:10,973 --> 00:18:11,974 Yes! 377 00:18:12,183 --> 00:18:15,645 Vacation? What place have you always wanted to visit? 378 00:18:15,811 --> 00:18:16,979 One, two... 379 00:18:17,188 --> 00:18:20,232 BOTH: Silly Water Fun Slides in Grand Lakes, Michigan! 380 00:18:20,524 --> 00:18:21,609 (BOTH GIGGLING) 381 00:18:22,693 --> 00:18:25,321 'BYE-bye, everyone! Bye! - Bye! Bye-bye! 382 00:18:26,822 --> 00:18:29,158 You've done a great service to your country, Mabel. 383 00:18:29,367 --> 00:18:32,870 As thanks, I'd like to make you an official U.S. Congressman! 384 00:18:34,372 --> 00:18:36,666 I'm legalizing everything! 385 00:18:36,874 --> 00:18:38,167 - And Roderick. - Uh, actually... 386 00:18:38,334 --> 00:18:40,586 You, clear boy, are on your way to unlocking 387 00:18:40,795 --> 00:18:42,463 the mysteries of this great land. 388 00:18:42,672 --> 00:18:45,966 So, I'd like you to have my President's Key! 389 00:18:49,345 --> 00:18:50,429 And then he chased me around 390 00:18:50,638 --> 00:18:53,015 and spanked me with a paddle for, like, three hours. 391 00:18:53,224 --> 00:18:55,184 Bottom line, George Washington was a jerk. 392 00:18:55,476 --> 00:18:56,435 Ag reed. 393 00:18:56,852 --> 00:18:58,020 (GIGGLING) 394 00:18:58,312 --> 00:18:59,271 Oh! 395 00:18:59,897 --> 00:19:01,232 Kick her off the team. 396 00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:05,945 Hey, Pacifica! I uncovered a government conspiracy 397 00:19:06,153 --> 00:19:10,116 about the eighth and a half President of the United States. Who's silly now? 398 00:19:10,324 --> 00:19:12,243 What? Who is that idiot? 399 00:19:12,702 --> 00:19:14,870 Put up your dukes, you bald fiend! 400 00:19:15,287 --> 00:19:17,373 The eighth and a half President of America! 401 00:19:17,581 --> 00:19:18,916 I know what you're thinking. 402 00:19:19,208 --> 00:19:20,543 How is he still alive? 403 00:19:20,751 --> 00:19:23,129 Well, turns out you can hibernate in peanut brittle, and... 404 00:19:23,337 --> 00:19:24,088 (LAUGHING) 405 00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:29,635 Wow! You really are a sad, dumb little girl. Nice top hat, by the way. 406 00:19:30,010 --> 00:19:31,387 - (LAUGHING) - (CHUCKLES) 407 00:19:31,595 --> 00:19:32,680 Good one, daughter! 408 00:19:33,180 --> 00:19:37,226 Oh! I see your car is stuck in the mud. Enjoy walking home! 409 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:43,357 Aren't you going to tell her about her ate-gray andpa-gray? 410 00:19:43,691 --> 00:19:46,360 You know what, Dipper? I've got nothing to prove. 411 00:19:46,569 --> 00:19:48,904 I've learned that being silly is awesome! 412 00:19:52,283 --> 00:19:55,077 Well, I haven't learned anything! (WHISTLES) Hey, Pacifica! 413 00:19:56,162 --> 00:19:57,163 (TIRES SCREECH) 414 00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:59,749 Nathaniel Northwest didn't found Gravity Falls, 415 00:19:59,957 --> 00:20:02,251 and your whole family is a sham! Deal with it! 416 00:20:05,755 --> 00:20:07,548 What? Mom! 417 00:20:08,048 --> 00:20:11,343 Man, revenge is underrated. That felt awesome! 418 00:20:11,677 --> 00:20:16,682 Children, I am needed elsewhere. Just know that I'll always be right here. 419 00:20:17,391 --> 00:20:19,268 On the negative 12 dollar bill. 420 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:20,811 Whoa! 421 00:20:21,896 --> 00:20:23,230 This is worthless. 422 00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,024 It's less than worthless, my boy. 423 00:20:25,649 --> 00:20:27,151 Trembley, away! 424 00:20:28,611 --> 00:20:29,612 (WHINNIES) 425 00:20:31,447 --> 00:20:32,698 Where do you think he's going? 426 00:20:32,907 --> 00:20:34,325 I'm going to say off a cliff. 427 00:20:35,367 --> 00:20:37,870 And then Soos came by and talked to me for, like, an hour! 428 00:20:38,162 --> 00:20:39,705 You've been through so much. 429 00:20:42,750 --> 00:20:44,794 - It works! - So what's with the top hat? 430 00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,546 - I'm a Congressman! - Pardon me? 431 00:20:48,088 --> 00:20:49,632 You are officially pardoned. 432 00:20:50,007 --> 00:20:51,717 (BOTH LAUGHING) 433 00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:55,012 Oy. You are never going to make sense, are you, kid? 434 00:20:55,221 --> 00:20:58,098 No, I'm not, Grunkle Stan. No, I'm not. 435 00:20:58,849 --> 00:21:00,184 Mabel, away! 436 00:21:00,643 --> 00:21:02,186 - (GRUNTS) - (CRASHING) 437 00:21:02,770 --> 00:21:03,687 I'm okay. 438 00:21:04,021 --> 00:21:07,191 Esteemed gentlemen of the United States Supreme Court. 439 00:21:07,399 --> 00:21:09,568 I implore you to rethink your decision. 440 00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:11,237 (ALL CODING) 441 00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,741 Very well. But who would you have replace me? 442 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,202 - Mama! - That old crone? 443 00:21:18,619 --> 00:21:20,329 (BABBLING) 444 00:21:20,871 --> 00:21:24,208 Chief Justice Num-Num, you're spitting up on yourself. Now... 445 00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:27,545 Oh... Oh, come on! This is a courtroom! 446 00:21:27,753 --> 00:21:29,755 - I... This is a... - (BABIES CRYING) 447 00:21:29,964 --> 00:21:31,423 This is a dark day for America.