- Get ready for a "Game Changer!"
Tonight's guests, the fifth Broadway revival of "Brigadoon,"
it's Zeke Nicholson.
A high school production of "Company"
where they just can't nail the harmonies,
it's Zach Reino.
A filmed production of "Fiddler"
that fails to capture the magic of either medium,
it's Jess McKenna.
On piano, Scott Passarella.
And your host, me.
I've been here the whole time.
This is "Game Changer."
The only game show where the game changes every show.
I am your host, Sam Reich.
I'm joined today by these three lovely contestants.
Now, you all understand how the game works?
- No. - We do not.
- No.
- Right, our contestants have no idea
what game it is they're about to play.
The only way to learn is by playing,
the only way to win is by learning,
and the only way to begin is by beginning.
So without further ado, let's begin.
Players, have you ever had that dream
where you've been on stage and you haven't known your lines?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Scott.
Lights up on a small New England town.
It's spring, but winter has left a hint of dew upon the air.
The local newsie shouts today's headline.
- Extra, extra, read all about it!
The fish are gone.
Where'd they go?
I don't know, but it's not my job,
because I don't write the paper, I just distribute it.
- That is so funny given what I have next.
A fisherman hawks their catch of the day.
- Ugh, I got a whole batch of nothin'!
Fish are all gone!
It's just water out there!
- Two old women gossip on a nearby porch.
- Did you hear about the fish?
- Did you hear about Gladys?
Sorry, your things sounds bigger.
- No, I heard that Gladys stole the fish.
- Oh, right, okay,
so it was the same thing.
- Welcome to the mountain slash seaside town of Mountport.
- Ooh.
- How is that geologically possible, you ask?
Theater, I suppose.
And like so many musicals,
ours begins with a group number
to introduce you, the audience, to town.
In a scene that will eventually turn into a song
from the official cast recording,
I give you "Welcome to Mountport"
- Good morning!
- Hello, hello.
Hello there!
- Hello! - Oh hey you, down there!
- Hey, Timothy!
- Yeah?
- You're not allowed on the street anymore and you know why.
- Why?
- On account of the crimes.
- Okay, I guess I'll go back indoors.
- Oh, it's another foggy day
where the ocean marine layer
gets stuck in our mountain range.
- That's right.
- I wouldn't have it any other way.
- Don't ask me.
- You can ask me!
- Get back inside! - Okay!
- Holy shit!
- We get a lot of points, then?
- Yeah, put the points in there.
- Holy shit! - Put them up!
- Give me those points.
- What you do is a magic trick.
I'm gonna cut this part
because it doesn't make me look cool.
Very good, players.
- Thanks.
- Let's give you each a point for good measure.
- Great. - We got one point for that.
- Each of you.
Each of you a point.
Rushing in from off stage...
God, Scott, you're so good, too.
With ball cap on head.
With bindle swung over shoulder is our hero.
Allow them to introduce themselves.
- You can't pitch that ball fast enough.
- Get out of the field!
- It's Mountport!
- It's called Mountport, you loser!
- Sorry!
- Where are you goin'?
- Our hero, running straight into the center of town,
is about to meet the newsie.
And in a scene that will eventually turn into a song,
some advice from that newsie
just might set our hero in the right direction.
- Extra, extra, midday news!
Fish still gone.
Old woman main suspect.
Oh, haven't seen you around here.
- Hi, yeah, my name's Alexa, I'm new to town.
I'm trying to join the Mountport baseball team.
- Yeah, it's called Mountport.
- I'll get it one of these days.
- You gotta be careful.
If you call it something else,
everyone in the town's gonna rag on you immediately.
- Yeah, yeah, I picked that up.
I picked that up.
- You here to play baseball?
- Yeah, I'm here for the big tryout.
- Oh, well we got a big problem.
We lost both our best pitcher and our best hitter.
- Well, that's not a problem once he see what I can do.
- You're a pitcher?
Pitchers are classically not usually great batters.
- Well, there's nothing classic about me
except for my spunk.
But listen, do you have any advice
about how to succeed in Mountport?
- Oh sure, I got lots of advice
on how to succeed in Mountport.
Just a couple of things you gotta know.
If you wanna be a sort of a big deal around here.
- Sure.
- Oh.
- Got it.
- Maybe evil?
- Good advice for me.
- Alit with optimism,
our hero does one of those three quarter-turn exits
that only happens in musical theater.
And you can come right back.
With that, the late comers to the theater are ushered in.
They get a bunch of mean looks,
like what, you couldn't be on time for $80 theater tickets?
What is going on in your life
that you didn't set aside a full hour to get here?
You know what, you don't deserve a program.
The scenery splits.
The music becomes staccato.
- Nice adjustment, Scott.
- As we reveal the other side of town, downtown Mountport.
It's not nearly as wholesome, center of industry.
A businessperson talks loudly on a cell phone.
- If the stocks are breaking the roof by midday,
I don't want to hear about it.
- Two drivers yell at each other from their automobiles.
- Get outta here! - Hey, you get outta here!
- A busker sings and plays beat up guitar for spare change.
- Hey man, this is my corner!
- Oh.
- Two buskers go head to head.
- And on the top of Mountport's only skyscraper,
we meet our villain.
Allow them to introduce themselves.
- It's me, Tina Johnson,
the nastiest woman in all of Mountport.
I used to be in a big ol' tree,
and I said to myself, that's not high enough!
I can't be as mean as I want to be in a tree.
I must move to a skyscraper.
- Just then, our villain's assistant
strolls through the door.
- Uh, hi boss.
So I got the sort of new, uh,
the new readouts on the skyscraper.
We can't build it any higher than it is now.
- What do you mean, Pinocchio?
- Well, I- - I want to scrape the sky!
- Yeah, I know, boss, but if we build it any higher,
it's gonna put a big shadow on the baseball field below.
- That's my ultimate plan!
I want them playing in total darkness!
- Now in a scene that will eventually turn into a song,
we hear about how the villain could foil our heroes' plans.
If our players want, for an extra point,
they are welcome to incorporate the phrase,
"I am a professional."
- I'm going to tell you something.
You know the legend of the baseball playing,
traveling, baseball-playing kid who can change the world?
- The one who is foretold
to come to this town and change everything?
- That's right, that's right.
- And your reign will be toppled should they arrive?
- That's right.
- Yeah, I've heard of it.
- Well, I'm gonna tell you more about it.
- Okay.
- That's true.
- Right.
- That's true, yeah.
- Right, a baseball field, traditionally.
- Right.
- I'm a professional
- That's right.
- Is the plan clear? - No, I understand.
- Makes perfect sense to me. - Yeah, I wrote it all down.
- Good.
- Legitimately better than anything I've seen
on Broadway in the last 10 years.
Oh my God, I am so disoriented,
like I'm so caught up in your guys' performances
that I've forgotten to give out any points
except for one at the very beginning.
A point for each of the two of you,
bringing you each to two for your initial duet.
Certainly a point to each of you,
bringing you respectively to two and three for that duet.
And certainly, an additional point to Zach,
bringing him to four for incorporating "I'm a professional."
I do musical theater for the points.
- The points headed into next round,
Zeke with two, Zach with four, Jess with two.
With an orchestral flourish, flying in from off screen
is the minimalist impression of a train car.
Did you like this?
- Yeah, it's really nice. - Thank you very much.
Fancy lighting gives us a sense of movement.
Somewhere, a producer is proud of themselves,
but a lighting designer wishes they had more budget.
Over the loudspeaker of the train car,
a conductor calls out what stop is next.
- Uh, next up, Palm Springs.
- This should be interesting.
An attendant takes tickets from passengers.
- This is a ticket to Seattle.
I don't get paid enough to care.
- Two gossiping old ladies are en route.
- I'm so glad we're finally getting out.
- I had to get away, and honestly,
Palm Springs is 110 this time of year
and I could not be more thrilled.
- You know what I needed?
I needed to dry out my bones.
- I need a swim-up bar.
I need cards that could catch fire
from the sun at any moment. - Uh-huh.
- But in one train car, our hero and our villain...
Are about to meet.
And in a scene that will at some point graduate to song,
a confrontation takes place.
If our players are so inclined,
they may incorporate the phrase for a bonus point,
"Ticket to nowhere."
- Oh, I'm sorry.
They said this car still had an opening,
but your luggage appears to be in every seat.
- Yes.
- Well, I can just-
- Wait. - Yes?
- You, girl. - Yes?
- Quick, what's your favorite sport?
- Oh, baseball, of course.
- Sit down.
- Okay, can I move this one duffel?
- No.
- Sit on it. - Yes.
Where are you going?
- Well, I'm going to Palm Springs for spring training.
- That makes sense.
- I made the baseball team at Mountport, which is huge.
It's the first step for me.
- Could she be?
Could she'd be the one that was foretold?
I have a second question for you, pop quiz.
A, light.
B, dark.
C, none of the above.
- Well, hm, I think C, none of the above,
because I don't have enough context,
but if you're talking about baseball, of course, A, light.
I can't play in the dark.
That's my one weakness.
- I think she's the one!
- If that were to happen to me, whoa.
Everything would go off the rails.
- It's dark!
- Oh!
- What?
- Ticket to nowhere for you!
- No, ticket to nowhere for you!
- No, it's gonna be for you!
- No, I came up with the idea!
- Lights fade on the argument.
As the actors are still heard, ushered off stage.
- Ticket to nowhere for you!
- That'll be a point for Zeke, Point for Jess,
and an additional point
for giving us our first us our first "ticket to nowhere."
Flash forward, a week has passed.
That's about as much time as-
- Yeah, that sounds great.
- Oh, a good week of Palm Springs training.
It's done now and we're back home.
- The intersection of uptown and downtown Mountport.
The conductor calls out the stop.
- Mountport Station.
The same place that we left from a week ago,
and then waited for Palm Springs in a week and came back.
Yes, it's the same train.
Yes, we haven't been anywhere in the meantime.
- Hi ho to you!
- Hi ho to you.
Oh, got a local over here.
- The newsie sells newspapers to passersby.
- Extra, extra, fish still gone!
Tina in her big, tall building, number one suspect,
pinning it on Ethel, a old lady from way before
whose name you may or may not remember, wrongfully accused.
Now Tina expected to be behind all wrongdoing in Mountport.
- Our busker plays guitar, hoping for a coin or two.
- Hey. - Hey.
- I've been on this corner for a long time.
- Yeah.
- Take my guitar.
- Take your guitar?
- Play it well, I quit.
Thanks.
- This is really compelling.
- Thank you.
Wait, give me that back.
- That's right, I allow room for impromptu songs.
It is improv, after all.
I just don't award points when they occur.
- Those were two important characters.
We had to follow up.
- Absolutely, and as such,
here are our two old ladies again.
- Here was the thing I didn't like about Palm Springs.
- Yeah, please.
- It got too hot.
- I was ready for 110.
117, excuse me, it's-
- And it says you'll acclimate.
I never acclimate to anything in my life.
- I'm not gonna start now.
- Okay, but also can we talk about
how it's actually been Tina the whole time
and I feel really bad?
- We got to send a card to Ethel,
or a fruit basket or something.
- Would you go half and half on a fruit basket with me?
- I mean, the prices- - Are too high!
- On a fruit basket, are you kidding me?
It's mostly melon.
- Too high, mostly melon.
- And now, in a scene that will turn into a song,
and featuring any number of characters we've seen already,
our hero devises a plan
for how they're going to take our villain down.
And if our players are so inclined,
they can incorporate the phrase, "What money can't buy."
- Hey, newsie, uh, hi ho.
- Extra, hi ho, read all about it.
You see that skyscraper?
It's even taller now,
and there's a shadow all over in the baseball field.
- Yeah, listen, I was thinking,
it's really hard to build a structure that fast.
- Sure is.
- And I mean, in a week it's gotten a few stories taller.
It got me thinking.
It must not be, like, made of official materials in any way.
- Absolutely not.
She doesn't like building regulations,
so she actively builds it in a way
that is not earthquake-safe.
- Okay, I think I have a plan to take it down.
- Oh, that's great,
because we're all way too scared to stand up to Tina.
- Pinocchio, build it higher!
- Yes, ma'am, I'll build it higher!
- Because you know why? - Why?
- Money can buy anything I want.
- Oh okay, well,
you sure you didn't want to spring for more?
'Cause these are all like Home Depot two-by-fours,
and I'm pretty sure they're not wood
that's graded for construction.
- I don't care, build it higher!
- Okay.
- You're really good at getting the word out.
- Yeah, it's kinda what I-
- Yeah, we just need everyone in town to pitch in.
I think we could just take this thing apart
in like an assembly line.
- You want me to write the headline?
- Well, I guess I'm thinking more
like can you spread the word quickly?
- Okay, can you say what the words are?
- Yeah, sure. - Yeah, okay.
- It might be something like this.
- I'm writing this down, good, yeah.
- Did you hear they want us all
to gather around here and take beams down?
- Whoa! - What are we supposed to do?
Climb up there and take down, it's probably too heavy.
Oh, actually, it's much lighter-
- Actually it's very light.
This is nice, it's the most activity I've had in a while.
It feels good. - Me, too.
- Oh, sorry.
- Oh, yeah, I'm the little kid who was inside from before,
and I'm excited just to be outdoors.
- Get back in the street!
- I don't wanna!
- I was just busking for a while,
but this beams are about the same height as my thing.
I might be taking this tower down, piece by piece.
- Whoa, well if you're doing something,
I'm gonna try and do it better,
because that is our relationship.
- You keep me sharp, bud.
- That's right.
- Hey, let's do this.
- Uh, Tina, people are taking our tower down piece by piece.
- What do you mean they're taking it down piece by piece?
- I mean, I'm putting it up piece by piece,
but they're taking it down piece by piece.
- You just need to build higher and faster!
- Tina, listen.
It's not too late.
Mountport's a great town.
It'll take you in if let it.
- It sucks, it doesn't even scientifically make sense!
- But isn't that what's so great about it?
- It's a place where you can follow your dreams.
And then think, well maybe I should go to business school,
and then realize I could go to business school
and be a busker.
- Right, I can be a mountain and a sea.
- You can buy a melon basket
but split the cost with a close friend, hi ho.
- Hi ho.
- Well, if I'm being honest, I never wanted to be mean.
I just got caught up in the legend and the prophecy.
- Sort of like a self-fulfilling thing.
- That's right, I moved to Mountport initially
because I always wanted to be a train conductor.
And I wanted to manage a train
that went from a mountain sea town
to the middle of the desert.
- Very specific. - Yes, that was my dream.
I don't know, I was a little girl.
- Extra, extra, terrible news!
Mountport's famous train conductor
dropped dead from eating too much tuna fish.
Just a little bit will do ya.
- Tina.
- Wow, so I could be Nice Tina.
- Sure.
- Or, Cool Tina. - Yeah, sure.
- Sexy Tina? - Okay. Sexy Tina!
- The train conductress.
- Well, I like the sound of that.
I guess money can buy a giant tower,
but it can't buy a vocation and a passion
for overland travel. - Sure!
- Hey, it's noon.
That's the time for the big baseball game to start.
- Oh wow, this is your real moment, Alexa.
What can you do on the baseball field?
- And the first pitch goes out from Alexa.
Alexa now run back to the diamond, at home plate,
and the first swing, it's Alexa!
It's going, it's going...
- The ball is going straight into the remnants
of Tina's tower, and boom!
It's demolished it.
- Mountport, one and all,
thank you so much for welcoming in
a scrappy kid from not here.
Hi ho to you all!
- Hi ho to you! - Hi ho.
- Here's what I know for sure.
- That's true. - Say that one again.
- Next stop, Palm Springs.
- Wow!
That is points across the board,
and one additional point point for Jess McKenna
for incorporating "what money can't buy."
- Can I get a point for doing the reverse of it?
- Yes, actually, Zeke, I think that's super fair.
The curtain drops.
- Oh my god, good job. - You did so good.
- A standing ovation! - Oh my god.
Some people rush to their cars
in order to beat the traffic, but that's bad behavior.
The curtain opens, take a bow, players.
And a solo bow for our winner, Jess McKenna.
- Oh, oh my god!
Oh my god, no, please.
- That does it for us here at "Game Changer."
I am Sam Reich,
reminding you that the world is your musical.
It's just that your cast is bad at taking direction.
Goodnight.