We are not alone!
Forget what you think you know.
Forget what your mother told you when she tucked you in at night.
Forget the lies of our oppressive...
allied governments.
Behind this curtain is the very secret they do not want you to see.
The most astounding scientific find in the history of humanity...
proof of alien life!
That's right. Go ahead and laugh, sir.
But what you'll see inside this room will change your life forever.
It will haunt your dreams and harrow, yes, your very soul.
Yep. It's a cow fetus.
Guess so.
Does seem to have an awful lot of limbs.
It's mutated.
But a cow? How do you figure?
It's upside down.
Oh, yeah.
Cow.
Yep.
And I'm out 12 bits.
I really know how to show a girl...
a disgusting time.
No, it's...
sweet.
Poor thing never saw the light of day. Now it's in show business.
You manage to find the bright side of every single thing.
Also, we've...
got this booth to ourselves for five whole minutes.
- We're not alone, remember? - He's not gonna squawk.
Tell me more good stuff about me.
Uh...
Well, you're kind of a genius, when it comes to machines.
You always say what you mean.
And your eyes...
Yeah? Eyes, yeah?
And, um...
I don't know how to...
Well, plus...
every other girl I know is either married, professional...
or closely related to me...
so you're more or less, literally, the only girl in the world.
- Hm, that's a hell of a thing to say. - I was joking.
Oh, no, no, I get it. I do.
Back on Osiris, you probably had nurses and debutantes crawling all over you...
but down here, at the bottom of the barrel, it's just me.
No. That's not even...
I'm glad I rated higher than dead Bessie, here.
Oh, my God, it's grotesque!
Oh, and there's something in a jar.
Scare her away again, did you?
This may come as a shock, but I'm actually...
not very good at talking to girls.
Why, is there someone you are good at talking to?
Do not fear me. Ours is a peaceful race...
and we must live in harmony.
- Struck out again? - It's like something out of a fable.
This priceless artifact, the biggest score of my career and no one will touch it.
The Lassiter's universally known.
Fencing it is like fencing the Mona Lisa.
Well, but...
Mona who?
You're out of your league.
You should consider my offer.
I'm done thinking about that, and you are to stay clear.
- I know people in highest ranks... - Jabber, jabber, I ain't listening.
Just because you helped out on the job don't make you a crook.
I will not have you jeopardizing your career over this.
The career you abhor and look down on?
I just don't want you in the way of trouble. Take it as you like.
Amnon!
- How you been? - Malcolm!
An old friend's face is a balm in this age.
- You holding some post for me? - Yeah.
Got quite a haul.
- You can sign for everyone? - Sure.
- Any packages for me? - Don't know yet.
My food is problematic.
Girl's a mind-reading genius. Can't figure out how to eat an ice-planet.
- Did you get everything? - Yeah.
They didn't have rounds for the bunder, but we're ammo'd up pretty good.
I got a discount on account of my intimidating manner.
Oh.
This one's addressed to you and Zoe, Mal.
I don't remember ordering parts.
- The little one's for Cobb. - I got post?
Might we all want to step a few paces back before he opens that.
Ha, ha! It's from my mother.
- So do aliens live among us? - Yeah. One of them's a doctor.
"My dear boy, I hope you are well...
and that you get this soon in your travels".
- Did you order any equipment? - No, sir.
"Thank you for the credits you forwarded.
They have helped, as Mattie is still sick with the Damplung.
I made you the enclosed...
Enclosed, to keep you warm in your travels.
Hope to hear from you soon. Love...
your mother".
How's it sit? Pretty cunning, don't you think?
I think it's the sweetest hat ever.
A man walks down the street in that, people know he's not afraid of anything.
Damn straight.
Let's hope we get some funny hats too.
What did you all order a dead guy for?
Thanks.
I didn't know you were out there.
Sort of the point. Stealth.
You may have heard of it.
I don't think they covered that in basic.
Well, at least they covered dropping your weapon...
so you can eat beans and get yourself shot.
Yeah, I got a badge in that.
- Won't happen again. - If it does, I'm just gonna watch.
Anything interesting out there? If you don't mind my asking.
About 30 troops behind those buildings.
Mortars. No rollers yet.
I expect they plan to peck at us for a spell before they charge.
They had two scouts sniffing.
I took them down.
Wow, I didn't hear a single thing.
First rule of battle, little one...
don't ever let them know where you are.
Whee-hee! I'm right here! I'm right here!
You want some of me? Yeah, you do! Come on!
Come on!
Whoo-hoo!
There are other schools of thought.
Whew! Ha! That was bracing.
Don't like it when you shoot at them. I worked that out myself.
- Did you find Vitelli? - Vitelli is out of it.
The bumble bee laid down arms at the first sign of inevitable defeat.
Can you imagine such a cowardly creature?
Southwest corridor's open, huh?
- Tracey, ain't you dead yet? - Through no fault of my own.
I really wanted your beans.
They're gonna come right through here. They got rollers?
They got every damn thing.
How's the lieutenant?
Started screaming, all of a sudden, about his arms, where is his arms?
- We had to go find them. - What happened?
He ain't even hurt. He got 10 fingers on his hands...
but he's screaming like they're gone, crying.
And he ain't said a word in two hours.
Sir? Do we hold?
I don't wanna die here. Forgive me.
This rock ain't worth it. Not our lives.
Everybody dies.
Someone's carrying a bullet for you right now who doesn't know it.
The trick is, die of old age before it finds you.
We could still cut through the 22nd at school system.
Make a decent stand there.
Well, we can't do any good here.
I sure as hell ain't gonna lay down arms.
Zoe...
you heard the lieutenant give the order to join the 22nd?
- I did. - Round them up, then.
- You heard him too. - I ain't gonna rat you out.
Ain't me I'm worried on. If lieutenant gets his mind back...
this shouldn't go on his record. Ain't his fault.
More than he'd probably...
Seeker!
- Is it bad? Is it bad? - It's glorious!
- We gotta move! - I can't!
We gotta run! Zoe, get the lieutenant.
You know the old saying.
Well, it don't make any kind of sense. Zoe?
I got nothing. But it's definitely Tracey.
You know this guy?
Is this a warning of some kind?
Mal, you gotta get this thing out of my station.
No, no, no. Human transport on a postal route...
is very illegal.
If anyone knows I took a corpse, I'll lose my franchise.
- Who sent it? - I don't know. There was no return.
- How long has it been here? - A week.
- This can't stay here. He don't smell.
I know. Been decently preserved.
Give me a hand.
- We're taking him on board? - We are.
- I don't see the percentage in that. - Don't strain your brain trying.
It might break something.
We got it.
What's going on?
Did we get something fun?
You are such a boob.
How do we know he ain't plague-ridden, or something?
- We know. - We don't, actually.
I mean, I respect that you guys have a history, but what are you doing?
If you want me to do a proper autopsy...
- Cut him up? - Not just yet, thank you, doctor.
Robot.
What do you got?
Um, okay, uh...
Recording. Hi, I guess.
This is a message for Zoe and for Malcolm Reynolds...
and I really hope you all are the ones listening to it.
I'll spare you the boring details...
falling in with untrustworthy folk...
making a bunch of bad calls.
All that matters is I expect to be shuffled off...
and you two are the only people I trust to get me where I'm going...
which is home.
I'd like my body to be with my folks on St. Albans.
We got the family plot there, and my mom and dad, well...
they deserve to know I died.
You know, it's funny, we went to the war never looking to come back...
but it's the real world I couldn't survive.
You two carried me through that war...
and now I need you to carry me just a little bit further, if you can.
Tell my folks I wanted to do right by them and that I'm at peace and all.
When you can't run anymore, you crawl, and when you can't do that, well...
Yeah, you know the rest. Thanks, both of you.
Oh, yeah, and make sure my eyes is closed, will you?
Wash?
St. Albans is a two-day ride if we burn hard enough.
- That might make your schedule... - It's all right.
That's right, gentlemen, you have been told tales all your life...
but alien races exist among us. The proof is right inside.
You'll be amazed and astounded.
Can I help you?
You are an ugly-looking little quim, you know that?
- If there's a problem, I can... - You must be asking yourself...
how repulsive-looking the guy that's gonna make you his woman gonna be?
I mean, prison is a lonely place.
You sure as a hundred moons ain't gonna be pitching.
So, what kind of sorry-ass troll is gonna get blue enough to grapple with you?
Shudder to think.
I've broken no law.
Transportation of human cargo, especially dead cargo...
through the allied postal system is punishable by five to 10 years.
Plus, you don't know this yet, but you resisted arrest.
- Where's my body? - I don't know.
The dead guy. He got shipped here.
- He shipped back out, I guess. Where? - I never saw a body.
But wait. There was a crate big enough for one.
I mean, I did hand that over, just a little while ago.
Lovely. Who got it?
Um...
Here.
Malcolm Reynolds. Where do you suppose he's off to?
He captains a Firefly. You should be able to capture him if you leave now.
- Are you telling me to leave? - No, I didn't mean that.
Relax. You've been great.
I was just bluffing about arresting you. Who needs that kind of paperwork?
Skunk, light him on fire.
No, wait! I told you everything...
Come on, come on! I told you what I knew!
What...? What do you...? I... I just...
Tell anyone we were here...
warn Capt. Reynolds that we're coming...
and you'll wish that we burned you.
Good.
Boys, let's go find us a corpse.
I really hope you all are the ones listening to it.
I'll spare you the boring details...
falling in with untrustworthy folk, making a bunch of bad calls.
All that matters is I expect to be shuffled off...
and you two are the only people I trust to get me where I'm going...
which is home.
I'd like my body to be with my folks on St. Albans.
We got the family plot there, and my mom and dad, well...
they deserve to know I died.
You know, it's funny, we went to the war never looking to come back...
but it's the real world I couldn't survive.
Sorry, preacher. Am I making too much noise?
No, no. I was just...
saying a few words.
Don't know the boy's denomination, but...
Oh, no, it's good. The Lord should ought to look after the dead.
You wanna do a set? I'll spot you.
I'm not so terribly in the mood.
Most people is pretty quiet about now.
Me? I see a stiff, one I didn't have to kill myself, I just get the urge to...
you know, do stuff, like work out or run around...
maybe get some trim, if there's a willing woman about.
Not that I get flush with corpses or anything. I ain't crazy.
It makes sense. Looking to feel alive out of adventure.
Now, for psychology, that don't sound half-dumb.
My kind of life don't last long, preacher.
So I expect I'm invested in making good sport of it whilst I can.
You gonna read over me when I get taken down?
Oh, I suspect you'll be around long after we're all gone.
What the hell are you doing?
- River, that might not be the best place... - I'm very comfortable.
I guess we do all have different reactions to death.
I thought I was gonna die.
- How could he possibly even...? - The colonel was dead drunk.
Three hours pissing on about the enlisted men.
"They're scum. They're not fighters". And then he passed right out. Boom.
We couldn't even move him, so Tracey snipped it right off his face.
And you never seen a man more proud of his mustache than him.
I mean, I will never love a woman the way this officer loved that lip ferret.
Big walrussy thing, all waxed up.
Did he find out?
Oh, the next morning, he wakes up, it's gone and he is furious!
But he can't just say, you know, "Someone stole my mustache!"
So he calls together all the platoons.
- We thought he was gonna shoot us. - He's eyeballing us something fierce.
Not a word. He comes up to Tracey, and Tracey's wearing the thing on his face!
He glued it on!
He's staring the old man down wearing his own damn mustache.
Oh, God.
Well, the colonel must have said...
- Are we hit? - That was too damn close.
They're behind us. Fire over the port bow.
- Warning shot? - They could've hit us.
Feds.
This is Lt. Womack of Allied Enforcement.
You're in possession of stolen goods...
and are ordered to cut thrust and prepare for docking.
- The Lassiter. - That was quick.
Do you think Saffron tipped them off?
This is Capt. Reynolds. I think there's been a mistake.
There's been a lot of mistakes.
The latest of which is you taking that crate.
Um, we took in a lot of inventory today.
If something got mixed in, we'll hand it back, but I don't think we're your men.
Let me check through the cargo. Is it marked?
I'd think twice about playing games with me there, mister.
I will blow you to pieces.
You do that, your precious crate's gonna be in shards.
I got deliveries to make, so you just lock on to my trajectory...
and I'll take a look here, see if anything matches your description.
- Police procedure has changed. - He calls back, you keep him occupied.
- What do I do? Shadow puppets? - We'll take care of it.
- I don't get this. They're after Tracey? - Or there's something else in that box.
Anything?
Not unless this crate's made of magical wish-granting planks.
Check his pockets.
- That ain't right. - Well, neither is being blowed up.
- Nothing about this sits right with me. - Empty.
Well, they want this body for something, and I'm guessing it ain't a proper burial.
Well, doctor, I guess you are doing an autopsy.
You really think there's something in there?
Using corpses for smuggling is a time-honored, repulsive custom.
Maybe it's gold.
And maybe he was a friend of ours, and you need to show a little respect.
I got respect. I'm just saying...
gold.
He's been open before.
How's that?
It's... It's good work. Scar's nearly invisible, but...
Well, let's see what's in there.
- Get ahold of him! - Spry, for a dead fella.
Settle down! Settle! That's enough.
- He was cutting on me, sarge. - I know. I told him to.
- You told him to? What for? - Because you were dead!
Huh? Oh.
Right. I suppose I was.
- Hey, there, Zoe. - Private.
- You feeling a mite calmer now? - Yes, sarge.
- Um, sarge? - Yeah?
I think I'm naked.
Sorry for jumping on you the way I did.
I was a little confounded.
Rising from that state can be disorienting. Was it byphodine?
Can you bring that pan, please?
The drug you took to make it appear you were dead.
Remember what it was called?
Never did ask. The guy who sold it to me said I'd be under a week or so.
He told me I wouldn't dream, but I did. I dreamt of my family.
You can take that.
All right.
Wanna explain exactly why you got yourself all corpsified and mailed to me?
What are you running from?
Running to, not from.
I just wanted to get home, that's all. That's all I ever wanted.
Except there's them that take exception to that...
to me leaving while I was in possession of their property.
What'd you boost, Tracey?
- Was it gold? - More importantly...
who'd you boost it from?
- Well... - Captain, I don't mean to...
We may have a medical emergency here.
This man appears to be in cardiac arrest.
What? Tracey, are you having a heart attack?
It don't look like he is.
Don't pay any attention to your machines, doc. They'll fib to you.
Heart's just fine. Better than fine.
Just runs a little hotter than the usual, that's all.
My God! It's not just the heart muscle, it's everything.
All the moving parts.
That's what I took, Mal. That's what they want back.
Tracey, are you gonna tell me what in the chin-cha-doh you're talking about?
Sure, sarge.
Sure.
- Thank you. - So your innards ain't your innards?
They got scooped out.
Replaced every bit.
What'd you wanna go and do that for?
For the money.
They're paying me to transport what they stuck in.
You're smuggling human organs?
They're grown in a lab. Only way to move them is in a person.
- Not sure why. - The technology's not ready.
Blastomeres are unapproved.
Likely unstable. You're not just a carrier, you're an incubator.
I was supposed to be at the drop two weeks ago. Clinic in Ariel.
They were to open me up, take out the goods and put my own organs back.
- So, what happened? - Better offer.
Another buyer was willing to go three times the going rate.
Enough so I could get my folks off that rock they live on...
set them up someplace better. Someplace warm.
That's real nice.
But your better offer went south.
Yeah, I got myself in a little bit of a pickle, sarge.
The folks I was working for got wind of what I had planned.
I showed up, my new buyer was dead...
and some men were waiting for me.
But you got away.
Only just.
I knew they'd never stop looking for me so long as I was alive.
Thought my chances would be better if I weren't.
So you died and figured they'd stop looking for you?
Yep.
I think maybe you figured wrong.
I think they're about done being stalled to...
Mal!
- Your dead army buddy's on the bridge! - He ain't dead.
- Oh. - How far are we to St. Albans?
Five minutes from atmo.
Bring up the terrain specs. Kaylee, get him out of here!
Strap in!
This is Capt. Reynolds.
Reynolds, I'm a dangerous-minded man on a ship loaded with hurt.
Now, why you got me chatting with your peons?
Tracey, you go on down below. We'll handle this.
Uh, uh... Just seeing to some technical difficulties.
I'm not interested, captain.
I stepped over a lot of bodies to get to that one you got in your hold.
You play this right and yours won't have to be among them.
- Sarge... - The captain ordered you off the bridge!
Come on.
We'd love to let you dock...
but that buck knocked out our fore-couple.
So we have to park it if you want the tour.
All right, captain. We can do this on the ground just as easy.
Yeah, easy. There.
- Think you can do it? - Watch me.
Attention, crew, this is the captain. Sit down and hang on to something.
Uh, you okay?
- So I can let go of you now? - Oh, you can.
Yeah.
All this hard banking...
when the gravity drive and actual gravity...
start working against each other...
it tosses the lunch about. - Your pilot's pretty wild.
He can thread a needle with this bird. He's the best.
That's good to know.
- So are you and he...? - Sweeties? Oh, hell, no!
He's married to Zoe.
- Zoe got married? - Yeah.
Yeah, next, you'll be telling me she smiles, has emotions.
She must have been stone-cold during the war.
I think the sarge was even a little bit afraid of her. Now she's married.
Well, that's good. People making a life for each other.
Had enough of this goose-run.
Don't need no ante-tour of this ice cube.
- Now, let's park it! - Just looking for a good spot.
What is it?
It's a little strange. There's a Fed station right here...
but our friends haven't made a transmission since they broke atmo.
So, what about you?
Oh, you know, mostly just...
Ow.
stuff like this. Just finding myself in one scrape or another.
Sorry to drag you all into this.
Oh, danger's pretty much our business.
Still, if you got put in a bad spot at all, Kaylee...
I'd be real unhappy.
Get ready for a hard burn.
They'd be crazy to follow us in here.
They're not behind us anymore.
I didn't think of that.
Oh! Whoa, okay! Ah!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
- This kind of flying wakes up a guy! - Awake helps.
There. Now...
if we shut down the main power...
They might not read our auxiliary under all this.
What if they come down to get a visual?
She's not a small ship.
We're not moving.
Why aren't we moving?
Probably part of some genius plan to give the Feds the slip.
Yeah, probably.
What was that?
Sounds like full-yield mag drops.
I think they picked up a little triangulation in cop school.
1001.
- 1002. - River?
I'm counting between lightning and thunder...
to see if the storm's coming or going.
1005.
Options?
Well, we're only as good as long as the roof holds out. Direct hit above us...
ship's electrics will be fried.
- We'll have to climb out. - Yeah, or get dug out.
Getting closer.
Captain, there is another way.
Uh, captain said to stay put.
I just wanna see what's happening.
We're cornered, and it's only a matter of time before they find us...
what's left of us. Let's not wait for that to happen.
What are you saying?
I'm saying we make good on what we said we were gonna do.
Let's call them.
Fly out of this canyon, let them board.
Give ourselves up?
It's our only choice.
We let them board, we're taking an awful chance.
- These boys ain't playing, preacher. - I'm aware of that.
That one was really close.
That tears it. I'm with the preacher.
I ain't getting snowed in permanent on account of some jackass kid!
It's the only option, captain.
Wash, call the cops. Tell them we give up.
No, thank you!
- Tracey, what are you doing? - I said, no!
Those bastards want to yank out this million-credit meat...
and leave me bleeding.
Now turn off that radio!
Twerp's gonna get us killed!
Don't you move! Don't anybody move!
All right, we need to power up. We need to run. Now!
Put that thing down. You have no idea...
Oh, shut it, Shepherd!
Or I swear to your god, I will shoot you dead if you do not!
Sarge! Zoe! What are you doing with this Bible thumper?
- Wash, call the cops. - But...
I'll kill him! I'll put a hole right through him!
You mailed your ugly business to Zoe and me, Tracey.
Cash on delivery.
I'll go to hell before I watch you turn and bite us for the favor.
Wash, call them up, tell them we'll meet them topside.
- No, thank you! - Do it.
No!
You shot me.
Damn right.
- That's enough shooting. - Wash!
- Ow? - Everybody calm down.
- Kaylee, get out of there! - You're a rabbit, Mal!
Hurry! Hurry!
I probably scared you back there, didn't I?
Did you see his face? It was great.
- You're really bleeding. - Yep. They shot me.
- Why? - Because they wanna sell me off.
You won't let them do that, will you, Kaylee? Because, you know, I think...
you and I really had a moment back there.
- Tracey? - You know, Kaylee...
I need to fly out of here. Can we take the shuttle and go?
- I ain't going anywhere with you. - Nobody's going anywhere, private.
Captain, what is going on?
Don't make me.
Far as I can see, no one's made you do anything.
You brought this on yourself.
Got in over your head with those stone-cold gut-runners.
Then you panicked, brought the whole mess down on all of us.
- That ain't what happened. - Oh, yes, that's what happened.
I'm thinking some of that trail of bodies Womack talked about was left by you.
And you ain't left a trail of bodies, work you do?
- Because your rep speaks elsewise. - Weren't bodies of people helping me.
And you're helping out lots. Because I needed a chest wound.
That can be seen to.
- Do you think I'm stupid? - In every way possible.
Do you know why I picked you and Zoe? Because you're saps!
You repping out as stone killers...
but I still remember the old sarge with his stories and his homilies...
of glory and honor. - Maybe you should've listened.
Yeah, well, what are you now?
What are we now, Mal?
See there?
You hear that quiet?
Means the call's already been made.
Well, that call...
That call means you just murdered me.
No, son...
you murdered yourself.
I just carried the bullet a while.
Well, now, somebody left the dog off the leash.
I've been shot too many times to be scared by a gun.
Womack, I think I broke your junk.
A little problem during shipping.
Don't think I have to tell you folk the kind of trouble you're in!
Wetware smuggling, resisting and fleeing an officer of the law.
I'm sure the search of the ship will come up with another few felonies.
You won't be searching the ship, Womack.
- That so? - It is.
You won't be taking us in. Nor the boy who's dying up there.
Now, I'm authorized to kill as I like.
Shepherds notwithstanding.
Why is it you didn't call in for backup?
There's a Fed station 80 miles from where you're standing.
You got your command stripes at the Silver Hold colonies.
Puts you about eight sectors away from your jurisdiction.
Since you're running this job on the side...
you took pains to keep your presence here secret.
I doubt it would bother anyone...
if we laid your bodies to rest at the bottom of one of these canyons.
It's damaged goods anyhow.
That hat makes you look like an idiot.
So...
that was the plan?
That was a good plan.
I think so.
Um, you...
You weren't that far off about me being stupid.
I never could get my life working right.
Not once after the war.
Kaylee, I'm so sorry. I didn't...
- Sarge? - Right here.
You... That stupid message of mine...
and I was trying to play you guys.
And now...
you'll do it.
- You'll get me home. - Yeah.
- Well, you know the old saying:
When you can't run, you crawl...
and when you can't crawl, when you can't do that...
You find someone to carry you.
You know, it's funny...
we went to the war never looking to come back...
but it's the real world I couldn't survive.
You two carried me through that war...
and now I need you to carry me just a little bit further...
if you can.
Tell my folks I wanted to do right by them and that I'm at peace and all.
When you can't run anymore, you crawl, and when you can't do that, well...
yeah, you know the rest.