1 00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,571 Three weeks earlier. 2 00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:16,841 Huh? 3 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:20,915 Sometimes a movie or show begins on a random scene with no context... 4 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:24,022 encouraging you to wonder, "Whoa. How'd this scenario come to be?" 5 00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:27,126 Then it cuts to black and a title comes up saying "three weeks earlier"? 6 00:00:27,328 --> 00:00:28,352 Uh-huh. 7 00:00:28,529 --> 00:00:30,759 Here we are, sitting in silence, crammed into an RV... 8 00:00:30,965 --> 00:00:32,933 winding through the roads of Colorado... 9 00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:35,601 with a 19-foot fiberglass hand tied to the roof. 10 00:00:37,838 --> 00:00:41,103 If there was a time to cut to "three weeks earlier," it would be now. 11 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,374 You know what I mean? 12 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,278 Elroy, you got any booze? 13 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:57,557 Don't go through my stuff. 14 00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,591 This isn't a bus. You're standing in my living room, kitchen and bedroom. 15 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:06,255 Ooh. I never thought about that. And your backyard is 24,900 miles long. 16 00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:09,493 Because it's the circumference of the Earth. 17 00:01:09,737 --> 00:01:12,433 Because you have no home. 18 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,665 Anyone need water? What should we talk about? 19 00:01:14,908 --> 00:01:17,240 To make it intriguing, someone should be injured... 20 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:20,880 in a way that makes you wonder. Like if Britta had a black eye. 21 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,448 Dean, can I speak to you privately? 22 00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:26,677 I'm pretty sure the answer is no. 23 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,444 I'm coming up. 24 00:01:33,694 --> 00:01:37,152 You know, when I agreed to haul this thing for you and the school... 25 00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:39,889 you didn't say anything about six people back there. 26 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,125 Man, I wonder what they're talking about? 27 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:46,932 God, who knows. They're sealed off behind this sound-proof vinyl. 28 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,972 I will drive my house off a cliff! 29 00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:51,644 Elroy, we're not here to snoop or judge you. 30 00:01:51,845 --> 00:01:55,804 You're not the first person to have dirty dishes, CD-ROM porn... 31 00:01:56,016 --> 00:02:00,214 and framed photos of yourself with two biracial teenagers in a park. 32 00:02:00,454 --> 00:02:02,046 It's not that. 33 00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,916 All this weight. 34 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:05,853 I may have... 35 00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:08,620 miscalculated the mileage. 36 00:02:11,231 --> 00:02:13,529 Darn it. I want to hijack this RV... 37 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:17,067 but I'm foiled by its impenetrable post-2001 security measures. 38 00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:20,933 You keep driving and nobody else needs to know about this. Understand? 39 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:23,302 The last thing we need is a panic. 40 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,205 What's going on? Are we out of gas? 41 00:02:26,447 --> 00:02:29,314 Yes! It's on empty! It's on empty! 42 00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:32,076 Never seen anything like it. The needle is invisible. 43 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,810 - Oh, my God - There's no needle! It's gone! 44 00:02:35,022 --> 00:02:38,355 It's underneath the plastic or maybe the engine tried to use it as fuel. 45 00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,584 - Stop yelling! - Well, stop being out of gas. 46 00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:42,989 - You're freaking me out. - You should freak out. 47 00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:48,396 I have been driving for 25 years and I have never seen so little gas in my life. 48 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:49,997 - Ah! - Stop, stop! 49 00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:53,332 I'm yelling even louder so you have to stop! 50 00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:56,509 We're not in control of the gas, okay? 51 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,270 We have to focus on what we can control. 52 00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:01,276 Is everyone's phone charged? 53 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,348 - Yes. Charge your phones. - Good idea. Smart thinking. 54 00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:06,348 - Okay. - Okay. 55 00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:09,420 See? We turned panic into preparedness. 56 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:14,385 Now, if we do run out of gas, guess who's got fully charged phones? 57 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:17,063 Well-charged. - Full battery. 58 00:03:17,264 --> 00:03:19,425 For the love of God, stop charging your phones! 59 00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,037 Excuse me a moment. 60 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,610 - What happened? - I'm not telling you! 61 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:40,378 - Fair enough. We're all gonna die. - Ah! 62 00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:11,200 Ripped By mstoll 63 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,182 All in favor? 64 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,685 And that solves the matter of the giant hand. 65 00:04:16,924 --> 00:04:18,323 - If there's no other business... - Yes. 66 00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:21,187 I'd like to establish this as the opening for a flashback. 67 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:22,656 No. Meeting adjourned. 68 00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,969 Oh. We're not doing "three weeks earlier" thing. 69 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:37,337 Abed, insert dialogue here about you dropping the fourth-wall shtick. 70 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,569 - Nice. - Careful you don't flood it. 71 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:41,873 That's the fifth time you've reminded me. 72 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,015 Sorry, it doesn't apply to our situation. 73 00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:45,947 I'm going to check the battery. 74 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,519 Can you send someone or not? 75 00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,691 - Can you please hold? - No, I can't hold. 76 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:52,984 Darn it. 77 00:04:53,193 --> 00:04:57,220 When they put you on hold, you hang up and you call right back. 78 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,989 - Frankie taught me that. - Hi, it's me. 79 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,896 Yeah, the one you put on hold. See where that got you? 80 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,797 - Can you send someone? - Please hold. 81 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,336 Don't you dare. 82 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,407 When they put you on hold, hang up and call right back. 83 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:13,374 I can play this game all day. I told you we need roadside service... 84 00:05:13,614 --> 00:05:16,378 - Can you please hold? - Oh, you can't be serious. 85 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:18,551 Well, hello. Guess who? 86 00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:24,315 I got nothing but fingers and time, pal. Roadside service, Moffit Pass. 87 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,159 Well, you could have told me that an hour ago. 88 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:31,259 Your RV is full of crazy ladies. Goodbye. 89 00:05:32,566 --> 00:05:35,000 Have any of you heard of Armed Forces Day? 90 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,500 Apparently it's today and it's really boning us. 91 00:05:37,704 --> 00:05:38,830 Yeah, here it is. 92 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,836 Armed Forces Day, huh. 93 00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:42,736 Why would they put it in May? 94 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:46,572 It's just sitting there in Memorial Day's shadow like a military Hanukkah. 95 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:50,375 Fitting that both war holidays have to fight each other over the same month. 96 00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:53,144 Notable that the one we remember is the one with the theme of memory. 97 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,753 Way to make this about justifying your sensibility. 98 00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,516 Well, apparently, Armed Forces Day is... 99 00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:00,852 the big one for tow truck drivers. 100 00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:05,521 There are three within 200 miles of this spot and they're all in the same parade. 101 00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,791 Maybe it'll come by this way... 102 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:10,970 if we offer them instruments? 103 00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:14,105 - Nobody reroutes parades. - They rerouted Kennedy's parade. 104 00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:17,436 So call the CIA, tell them we want to assassinate the president. 105 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,270 We'll be home for Wheel of Fortune. 106 00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:21,538 Who are we kidding? That'll never work. 107 00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:24,615 We got Britta'd. Yes, I use it too. 108 00:06:24,818 --> 00:06:27,810 I don't want anybody here blaming themselves for this. 109 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,613 I want everyone blaming Frankie. 110 00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:32,553 - What? Me? That's stupid. - She's the reason we are here. 111 00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:36,490 This is what happens when you make decisions outside the moment. 112 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:40,564 Whatever moment you were in the day you bought a gigantic hand... 113 00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:43,895 I am proud to remain outside until I die. 114 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:47,972 You will, baby. And this is where logic gets you. 115 00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:52,702 Stuck in a rocky mountain pass at sundown, gradually freezing to death. 116 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,507 And forced to decide, in the backs of our heads... 117 00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,081 just in case, who we'd eat first. Annie, right? 118 00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,219 - What? - Not a judgment. It's biology. 119 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,149 - What? - Craig. 120 00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:05,917 The hand currently crushing our lives is not about being in the moment. 121 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:08,993 You bought something we can't return with money we don't have. 122 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:12,027 No one knows why. Your latest idea is to put it on the quad... 123 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,859 with a plaque that says, "Give a hand to your brain." 124 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,629 "Give your brain a hand." You're making it sound stupid on purpose. 125 00:07:18,839 --> 00:07:21,103 It's over, Craig. You are lucky to have Frankie. 126 00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:23,970 You're lucky she was able to find some weirdo... Excuse me. 127 00:07:24,177 --> 00:07:27,613 Bigger weirdo on eBay willing to pay cash for it. 128 00:07:27,814 --> 00:07:31,045 This is a lot of narrative pipe. Maybe we didn't need a flashback. 129 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:34,947 Abed, is this a show? I thought you said you knew it wasn't a TV show. 130 00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,779 Season two, you mean? Don't know. I can change my mind. 131 00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:41,518 Can I ask that it not be a show about you saying it's a show? Because dumb. 132 00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,258 - You're dumb. - Go in the back. 133 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:46,830 Go. Sit by yourself. 134 00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,662 - What are you doing? - Jeff, what is wrong with you? 135 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:51,531 I'm sick of it. It's a show. 136 00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:55,902 It's not a show. It's your show. My show. A good show. A bad show. I am sick of it. 137 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,202 I don't want to hear the word "show" again. 138 00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:01,006 Show, show, show. Is it a show? Show, show, show. 139 00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,375 So now it's a show about this? 140 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,808 You're right. That's worse. Abed, come back. 141 00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:08,078 - Abed, come back. - I'm not sorry. 142 00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,484 - It's not good to be back. - What the hell was that? 143 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,484 The battery is dead. 144 00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:16,424 - Flooded? - Winger, so help me God... 145 00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,097 The RV has two batteries, a primary and a... 146 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:20,731 Secondary. 147 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,831 We overloaded the electrical system and killed the engine battery. 148 00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,803 Now the secondary the battery has three or four hours of... 149 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,204 Charge. Juice charge. 150 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:35,814 And we have a choice to make. And Jeff can explain that choice. 151 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,040 Oh, it's your RV. 152 00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,842 This was my show. You didn't care. 153 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,542 Abed, we're all on your side. 154 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:43,882 So if you're also on your side, it's petty. 155 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:48,259 We could wait for a couple hours and hope the engine battery resets itself. 156 00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:50,521 If it doesn't, we're spending the night here. 157 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,222 At least we have the secondary battery to keep us warm. 158 00:08:53,433 --> 00:08:56,596 No. We're not spending the night here. What's the second option? 159 00:08:56,837 --> 00:08:59,635 Which I am nicknaming, "lil course of action." 160 00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:03,604 I rewire the secondary battery to the engine and hope it can start it. 161 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:07,245 If it doesn't, we're spending a very cold night with two dead batteries. 162 00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,779 Okay, let's switch the batteries. Good democracy. 163 00:09:09,950 --> 00:09:12,350 Are we sure the secondary battery won't die too? 164 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:13,543 Ha. 165 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,244 - It's a possibility. - It exists. 166 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:19,222 But I'm pretty confident because the secondary battery only powers the cabin. 167 00:09:19,426 --> 00:09:20,791 And we've kept the lights off. 168 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:25,055 And it goes without saying that we've all learned to stop charging our phones. 169 00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,861 Why are you looking at each other like that? 170 00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:34,666 And where are each of your phones now? 171 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,806 You know, I'm starting to suspect the unthinkable. 172 00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:44,609 Namely that in spite of all we've experienced... 173 00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:48,914 there's a cartoonish, vampiric orgy of personal devices somewhere in the RV... 174 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:51,317 sucking away our remaining battery. 175 00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:56,121 I draw limited comfort from the fact that nobody's running to unplug anything. 176 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,487 But you know what... 177 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,690 say nothing. 178 00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,898 I'll just... 179 00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:06,503 turn the light switch to the "on" position. 180 00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:22,645 There is a bright side to this. 181 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:26,952 Most conventional weapons don't require electricity. 182 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:30,659 Are you going to eat me first? 183 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,163 Hear those crickets? 184 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:44,165 This would be a challenging place to practice your stand-up act. 185 00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:49,212 So I rented Hotel Rwanda the other night. Let me just say: 186 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,576 Not a date movie. 187 00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:59,392 What would Arnold Schwarzenegger sound like if he was bit by Dracula? 188 00:11:01,228 --> 00:11:02,752 All in favor? 189 00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,329 That solves the matter of the giant hand. If there's no other business... 190 00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:09,400 I'd like to re-state the importance of telling this story with flashbacks. 191 00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:10,968 What do you mean by re-state? 192 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:13,469 Oh, my God. I fell for it. Meeting adjourned. 193 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:21,207 Why do we call them "elbows"? Why not "arm knees"? 194 00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,748 Man, I am dying up here. Heh, heh, heh. 195 00:11:25,085 --> 00:11:29,579 I'm scaling the blanket rations inversely to the wattage of each person's phone. 196 00:11:29,756 --> 00:11:32,054 That way, the person who killed us the most... 197 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,750 will die the soonest, which feels fair. 198 00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,757 Right, Britta? 199 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,734 I can't go all night being this angry. 200 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,297 Heart attacks run in my family... 201 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,530 and you people aren't worth it! 202 00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:50,706 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 203 00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:54,210 I caused the situation by not topping off the tank. 204 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:58,441 And that vinyl accordion partition is a totem of distrust. 205 00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:00,017 I'm sorry for that too. 206 00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:02,381 Elroy, that's big of you. 207 00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:06,047 For our part, we're sorry that charging our perfectly-normal cell phones... 208 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:08,090 destroyed your weirdly-fragile RV. 209 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,063 Okay, I'm sorry about that apology. 210 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:13,391 I'll try to be a better house guest. 211 00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:20,398 Sorry I was unavailable. I was trying to cut to three weeks earlier. 212 00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:24,270 - It really feels like we needed that. - I have to apologize as well. 213 00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:28,538 Perhaps you recall when it seemed as though we drove through a skunk patch. 214 00:12:28,748 --> 00:12:30,648 - You were getting high. - Smoking pot. 215 00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,750 - Getting stoned. - Oh, okay. 216 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,751 I remember thinking, "I really pulled that one off." 217 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,184 Because you were high. 218 00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,449 You also thought that we were speeding... 219 00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,753 because you "kept seeing the same bird." 220 00:12:42,562 --> 00:12:43,995 Unh! 221 00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:46,690 Unh! 222 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,333 All in favor? 223 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:52,697 That solves the matter of the giant hand. If there's no other business... 224 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:55,669 Let me explain the need for flashback here. Don't interrupt. 225 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:58,275 One quick thing, then you can talk about flashbacks. 226 00:12:58,478 --> 00:12:59,775 Meeting adjourned. 227 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:02,574 Abed, when they cut to three weeks earlier on TV... 228 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,080 they're not traveling in time, dip-ass. - Jeff. 229 00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,343 Okay, my apology now. 230 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,282 I've had some time to think about it. 231 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:14,222 I'm sorry for not asking people what they wanted before buying snacks for the trip. 232 00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:16,019 - Wow, really? - That's great. 233 00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:19,392 What? Think about it. It's the worst thing I've done on this trip. 234 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,362 - I've been nailing it. - She has. 235 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,001 You have. 236 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,899 I haven't been. 237 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:29,973 I shouldn't be yelling at the dean in front of any of you. It's unprofessional. 238 00:13:30,176 --> 00:13:33,407 Oh, you're all right, Frankie. We got no complaints. 239 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:45,917 I forgive all of you. Heh, heh, heh. 240 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:52,892 What? 241 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,735 That solves the giant hand. If there's no other business... 242 00:13:56,936 --> 00:13:59,530 In a normal road-trip story, the first act would end with us deciding to go. 243 00:13:59,739 --> 00:14:01,206 Second act would be the trip ending with disaster. 244 00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:02,500 The third act would be us returning. 245 00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,734 Problem is, we decided to take this trip weeks from now. 246 00:14:04,944 --> 00:14:07,003 The story starts with us already on the road. 247 00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:09,545 So the end of act one will have to be the disaster. 248 00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,740 So something worse has to happen in act two. 249 00:14:11,951 --> 00:14:14,351 Unless we decide now that act one is a flashback... 250 00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,216 so the beginning of the story is now instead of then. 251 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,925 You forgive us? 252 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:27,460 Absolutely. 253 00:14:27,700 --> 00:14:29,793 You turd. 254 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,799 - I beg your pardon? - Guys. 255 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:34,563 You have no sense of accountability. You're a child. 256 00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,733 If I'm a child, you're a child abuser. No. Not cool, Annie. 257 00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:43,177 You never said, "Leave my hand where it is. I like it there. I demand it stay." 258 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,248 Because everyone complained about it. 259 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:48,615 Where's that commitment when we're admitting we did stuff wrong? 260 00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:51,382 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a bad dean. Okay? 261 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,821 That's what you always do. Not a real apology. 262 00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,824 - Jeff? - Shut up. Go flashback and cut to stuff. 263 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:59,122 Say you're sorry for buying a giant hand... 264 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:02,790 and letting it sit around until we dealt with it. Say it without crying. 265 00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:06,438 No. I'm an adult. And you can't make me not cry. 266 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,938 You're all a bunch of bullies, and I will say I'm sorry however I want. 267 00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,441 And by the way, I'm not sorry! 268 00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,773 It's my giant hand and I love it! 269 00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,950 We're not selling it! 270 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,345 This is like crate-training a puppy. 271 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,454 Suppress every instinct to let him sleep in bed with us. 272 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,752 Cold. 273 00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,092 I mean in the RV. I don't care how we treat the dean tonight. 274 00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,858 Abed, don't go after... 275 00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:44,810 Did they send you out here to be mean to me too? 276 00:15:46,746 --> 00:15:47,804 - No. - Good. 277 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:51,541 Because I can't cry anymore unless someone brings me a Pedialyte. 278 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,784 Here. 279 00:16:04,063 --> 00:16:05,530 Here. 280 00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:14,900 Pretty comforting, huh? 281 00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:17,405 We could have put it outside the art department. 282 00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:21,011 Or biology. Or woodworking if we removed one of the fingers. 283 00:16:21,214 --> 00:16:23,580 You don't belong up here. It's not right. 284 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:28,310 You get it, don't you, Abed? You know what's important about the hand. 285 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:31,718 No. I know what's important about story. We're overdue for a disaster. 286 00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,085 Great. 287 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,727 Figures. The one person on my side is the one playing people chess. 288 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,698 - Don't move. Don't move. - What the hell are we supposed to do? 289 00:16:41,901 --> 00:16:43,061 - Flashback with me. - What? 290 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:46,500 Trust me. I set a flashback three weeks earlier. It's how this begins. 291 00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:48,537 Close your eyes and concentrate. 292 00:16:53,079 --> 00:16:56,207 That solves the matter of the giant hand. If there's no other business... 293 00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,883 - There's business. - There's business. 294 00:16:58,051 --> 00:17:01,953 When we tie the hand to the roof, we'd like you to use extra thick straps. 295 00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,089 - Extra thick. - Extra thick straps. 296 00:17:04,324 --> 00:17:07,521 - Reinforced. - All right. Meeting adjourned. Ah! 297 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,729 - There, that should do it. - What should do it? 298 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:22,203 - We ensured the straps were extra thick. - No, it didn't happen! 299 00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:23,568 It didn't? 300 00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,070 What? 301 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:30,277 Did something just fall off the roof? 302 00:17:30,483 --> 00:17:32,474 That's a really stupid question, Annie. 303 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,586 Obviously something fell off the roof. The question is what? 304 00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:45,558 Abed, where's the dean? 305 00:17:46,633 --> 00:17:47,861 Oh, damn. Come on. 306 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,428 Okay, one, two, three. 307 00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:54,402 Carefully. Carefully. 308 00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:57,098 How do you lift a giant hand off a person haphazardly? 309 00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:58,777 - You know what, Annie... - No! 310 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:02,175 - Dean, hang on. - Dean, we're so sorry. We love you. 311 00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,109 - Screw you! - What? 312 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:11,188 - Hey, that's my house. - We are not sorry. We hate you! 313 00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:14,120 - Are we gonna freeze to death? - I call the hand. 314 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:18,428 The fiberglass will preserve body heat. 315 00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:23,935 What's wrong with me that that's hot? 316 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,470 Dean, these temperatures are lowering our immune systems... 317 00:18:30,677 --> 00:18:34,272 in a world that's swarming with weird people's unvaccinated toddlers. 318 00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,538 Deal with it. 319 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,842 I'll go to the other side to see if he's locked that door too. 320 00:18:39,052 --> 00:18:41,680 It probably undercuts my goals to announce them out loud. 321 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:46,221 But I'm a verbal thinker. I'm not even sure I have an idea until I say it. 322 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,523 They should make hiking boots with a compass in the toe. 323 00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,129 Go. 324 00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:56,826 Dean? We're sorry and we love you? 325 00:18:57,036 --> 00:18:59,561 Nice uncontrollable question mark, Britta. 326 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,068 You can't even fake it? 327 00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:04,037 Dean, we're sorry and we love you. 328 00:19:04,243 --> 00:19:05,710 Super realistic, Annie. 329 00:19:05,945 --> 00:19:08,038 You're a real sociopath. 330 00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,841 I saw all your true colors when the chips were down. 331 00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:14,680 Abed's the only human among you, and I think we all know how ironic that is. 332 00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,582 - No offense, Abed. - None possible. 333 00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:17,949 Abed. 334 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,318 You bonded with him. Talk to him. 335 00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:23,495 You're alone in the end zone. This ball is yours or nobody's. 336 00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,857 I appreciate your appeal to my well-known passion... 337 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,465 for athletics and sarcasm. 338 00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,396 We didn't bond, I almost killed him. 339 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,968 My obsession with contrived flashback technique... 340 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,537 kept me from being invested in any of this story. 341 00:19:34,707 --> 00:19:35,731 What was it even? 342 00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:38,535 Bunch of people in an RV? I had to Christopher Nolan it? 343 00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:39,769 Well, there you go. 344 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,479 Now you can forget all about... 345 00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:44,548 stupid "three weeks earlier" flashbacks and be a hero. 346 00:19:44,751 --> 00:19:46,981 By joining us here, in the moment. 347 00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:49,086 And talking to the Dean like a human. 348 00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,180 - That's my arc. - That's your arc. 349 00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:54,857 Okay. Here we go. 350 00:19:57,897 --> 00:20:01,298 - If there's no other business... - I'd like to propose a use of flashback. 351 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,729 - No, Abed. Don't do it. - Thanks, Abed. 352 00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,030 Stop! Get your head out of your ass. 353 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:09,538 I can't. I'm over-saturated with the gimmick. Don't know what's real. 354 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:13,406 - You have to be lying. You enjoy this. - Stop it. What has gotten into you? 355 00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,638 Why are you shocked that he's alienated? 356 00:20:15,882 --> 00:20:18,214 You get him to do something normal without abuse. 357 00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:19,945 Abed, listen. 358 00:20:20,153 --> 00:20:22,087 This is a flashback, remember? 359 00:20:22,288 --> 00:20:24,620 The real story is happening in the future. 360 00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,918 You actually flashed back to now to help us. 361 00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:30,957 Okay, that was pretty good. 362 00:20:35,635 --> 00:20:39,435 So sad what happened here, all those centons ago. 363 00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,766 So sad. So preventable. 364 00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,066 Space Elder Abed... 365 00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:45,836 can you reach back with your mind and save our species? 366 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,806 I can. 367 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:50,345 I'm Space Elder Britta. 368 00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,445 What are you guys talking about? 369 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,260 I'm here now, child. All will be made right. 370 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,631 - Dean. - Abed. 371 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,069 I have discovered the meaning of the giant hand. 372 00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:19,611 A hand has two functions, to grip and to release. 373 00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:23,111 But without both of these powers, it is useless. 374 00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:26,080 Like newborn infants, we grab what comes near us... 375 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,310 hoping to control it, taste it... 376 00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:31,081 jam it into another child's eye. 377 00:21:31,390 --> 00:21:34,951 But the time we spend in control of our world... 378 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:37,789 is the time we spend letting go of others. 379 00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:39,828 Ideas, stories, pride... 380 00:21:40,032 --> 00:21:43,092 girls in soft sweaters, video games, buttered noodles... 381 00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:47,602 Grip one for too long and you lose so much that you've never held. 382 00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:54,540 This giant hand was sent to all of us as an invitation... 383 00:21:54,747 --> 00:21:58,046 to increase our mastery over the power to hold on. 384 00:21:59,185 --> 00:22:00,880 And let go. 385 00:22:08,928 --> 00:22:10,520 Sorry. 386 00:22:11,063 --> 00:22:13,258 - Dean. - Heh, heh, heh. 387 00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:15,263 - Dummy. - I kind of hate you. 388 00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,844 The doors were locked on that side too. 389 00:22:29,382 --> 00:22:30,644 Took you long enough. 390 00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,451 I'd be lying if I said I didn't poop. 391 00:22:34,554 --> 00:22:35,953 Could you lie, then? 392 00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:37,553 Sure I can. 393 00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:40,954 Sure I can. Heh, heh, heh. 394 00:22:41,561 --> 00:22:42,960 I slapped you, man. 395 00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:57,672 Where were you? 396 00:22:57,877 --> 00:23:01,210 The reason why I'm covered in feathers is because... 397 00:23:12,959 --> 00:23:17,089 Hi, this is Blake, the gentlemen to whom you are selling the giant hand. 398 00:23:17,296 --> 00:23:21,824 I am calling to confirm that you have the correct address. 399 00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:24,298 We live at the end of a long driveway... 400 00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:28,269 which often gets confused with a road. 401 00:23:28,474 --> 00:23:32,934 Anyway, it's been many hours since our scheduled appointment time. 402 00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:36,342 Again, it's Blake with a "B." 403 00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:39,574 The purchaser of the giant hand. 404 00:23:39,785 --> 00:23:41,309 Bye. 405 00:23:57,937 --> 00:24:00,929 - They're not coming? - I don't know, Karen. I left a message. 406 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:05,042 - What are you gonna do with...? - With the giant watch? 407 00:24:05,277 --> 00:24:08,110 I don't know. I don't plan for failure. 408 00:24:08,314 --> 00:24:10,009 Have you tried planning for success? 409 00:24:10,249 --> 00:24:13,446 Does everything you do to this family have...? 410 00:24:13,853 --> 00:24:16,287 No, finish your thought. 411 00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:17,649 Finish your thought. 412 00:24:17,857 --> 00:24:21,520 Does everything have to do with me purchasing... 413 00:24:21,761 --> 00:24:24,127 over-sized items on the Internet? 414 00:24:24,330 --> 00:24:29,063 But that's not what this is about, is it? It's not about a giant hand or watch... 415 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:32,668 - Please don't. - It's about a normal-sized son... 416 00:24:32,872 --> 00:24:34,567 who disappeared. 417 00:24:34,807 --> 00:24:36,832 And it's all my fault... 418 00:24:37,043 --> 00:24:41,173 because I gave him a giant kite! Argh! 419 00:24:41,347 --> 00:24:44,407 Yes! How could you not make that connection? 420 00:24:44,650 --> 00:24:48,814 Why do you continue to buy giant-sized versions of everyday objects... 421 00:24:49,021 --> 00:24:51,148 when they are the reason our son is dead? 422 00:24:51,357 --> 00:24:53,484 Disappeared! Disappeared! 423 00:24:53,693 --> 00:24:57,652 They never found his body on the ground which proves he's still up there waiting. 424 00:24:57,863 --> 00:25:00,388 He's waiting for a better daddy... 425 00:25:00,599 --> 00:25:03,227 with a bigger hand. 426 00:25:05,438 --> 00:25:06,530 Oh. 427 00:25:08,874 --> 00:25:10,603 Really? 428 00:25:11,310 --> 00:25:13,608 So then why the watch? 429 00:25:13,846 --> 00:25:15,541 I thought it would look really cool. 430 00:25:16,048 --> 00:25:18,073 I'm gonna walk the dog... 431 00:25:18,317 --> 00:25:20,945 and eventually leave you. 432 00:25:21,187 --> 00:25:24,452 I'll put the watch in the garage. 433 00:25:25,725 --> 00:25:27,927 And probably stop showering. 434 00:25:32,700 --> 00:25:40,700 Ripped By mstoll