1 00:00:01,582 --> 00:00:05,416 Next item is Friday's alumni dance. How's that progressing? 2 00:00:05,586 --> 00:00:09,352 I've e-mailed every former student who's not in prison or jail. 3 00:00:09,523 --> 00:00:13,357 Remember there's a difference. Our alumni are touchy about that. 4 00:00:13,527 --> 00:00:16,690 - What's the difference? - You go to jail if a cop doesn't like you. 5 00:00:16,864 --> 00:00:19,355 They can't send you to prison without knowing you're poor. 6 00:00:19,533 --> 00:00:23,435 - Do you believe half your own politics? - Yeah. 7 00:00:23,737 --> 00:00:25,796 - Yeah. - I'm still trying to find a good DJ. 8 00:00:25,973 --> 00:00:28,669 By which I mean figure out what makes a DJ good. Or bad. 9 00:00:28,843 --> 00:00:30,606 Or different from a phone or laptop. 10 00:00:30,778 --> 00:00:33,212 How's the PowerPoint for the city council meeting? 11 00:00:33,380 --> 00:00:35,109 Good question. 12 00:00:44,091 --> 00:00:48,152 When you asked if I knew PowerPoint, I said: 13 00:00:50,064 --> 00:00:52,362 "Yes." But what did I really mean? 14 00:00:53,134 --> 00:00:55,898 These are yeses and nos in a chart. 15 00:00:56,070 --> 00:00:59,267 They appear to be the same, however... 16 00:01:03,477 --> 00:01:05,069 I think you'll find... 17 00:01:13,821 --> 00:01:16,949 that within some eggs... 18 00:01:17,491 --> 00:01:19,482 is the truth. 19 00:01:22,830 --> 00:01:26,322 That should've been a dollar bill. But I'm no magician. 20 00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:29,258 I'm just a guy that knows PowerPoint. 21 00:01:30,905 --> 00:01:32,702 Okay, pushing that meeting. 22 00:01:32,873 --> 00:01:36,809 In other news, campuses across the country, including this area... 23 00:01:36,977 --> 00:01:40,344 have been seeing a dramatic rise in guerilla marketing. 24 00:01:40,514 --> 00:01:41,503 Why? They're amazing. 25 00:01:41,682 --> 00:01:43,547 - It's "guerilla" with a U. - Got it. 26 00:01:43,717 --> 00:01:46,311 Undercover advertisers that blend in with the public... 27 00:01:46,487 --> 00:01:48,717 while covertly marketing certain products. 28 00:01:48,889 --> 00:01:51,016 They can advertise things without you knowing? 29 00:01:51,192 --> 00:01:53,922 Is that legal? It sounds like brain-Windexing. 30 00:01:54,094 --> 00:01:55,789 It is legal and mostly harmless. 31 00:01:55,963 --> 00:01:59,160 But I'd like to protect some of our more impressionable students... 32 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:00,857 from being unduly influenced. 33 00:02:01,035 --> 00:02:03,526 So if you see anything, let the dean know. 34 00:02:03,704 --> 00:02:07,037 Okay, don't freak out. Someone just told me that Honda has released... 35 00:02:07,208 --> 00:02:09,802 some kind of super vehicle called the Honda Fit. 36 00:02:09,977 --> 00:02:12,878 It's a small car with a big personality that can handle... 37 00:02:13,047 --> 00:02:16,505 anything life throws at you. Why am I standing here talking about it? 38 00:02:16,684 --> 00:02:19,118 I have to find a Honda dealer. School is canceled. 39 00:02:19,286 --> 00:02:22,119 The Honda Fit, it's happening. It's finally happening. 40 00:02:22,289 --> 00:02:25,156 I'm gonna give the school's assets a quick freezie-weezie. 41 00:02:25,326 --> 00:02:27,260 - Is this meeting over? - I think so. 42 00:02:27,428 --> 00:02:30,829 But sometimes we just hang out and say funny stuff. 43 00:02:30,998 --> 00:02:33,091 - Have fun with that. - Oh... 44 00:02:36,437 --> 00:02:37,563 Guys... 45 00:02:37,738 --> 00:02:40,366 do you feel like Elroy doesn't like us 46 00:02:40,541 --> 00:02:42,668 as much as we like him and each other? 47 00:02:42,843 --> 00:02:44,640 He probably doesn't know his role yet. 48 00:02:44,812 --> 00:02:47,838 Is he Black Pierce? Old Troy? Or Shirley Without a Giant Purse? 49 00:02:48,015 --> 00:02:50,483 I haven't been entertaining since Troy left. 50 00:02:50,651 --> 00:02:52,016 - Not true. - You're amazing. 51 00:02:52,186 --> 00:02:54,347 It's not just me. You've been boring too. 52 00:02:54,521 --> 00:02:56,614 What was so special about this Troy person? 53 00:02:56,790 --> 00:02:58,485 Did he own a rainbow? 54 00:02:58,659 --> 00:03:00,490 Was he the group's pharmacist? 55 00:03:00,661 --> 00:03:03,858 - We don't like to talk about it. - But you often do. 56 00:03:04,031 --> 00:03:06,761 I'm a problem solver. Give me information. 57 00:03:06,934 --> 00:03:08,492 I'll handle this. 58 00:03:08,669 --> 00:03:11,263 Troy was very gifted at steel drums. 59 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,733 Steel drums. 60 00:03:14,908 --> 00:03:16,136 Interesting. 61 00:03:16,310 --> 00:03:19,871 Well, this has been a great meeting. I'm off. 62 00:03:20,047 --> 00:03:23,107 That won't pay off immediately, but it's gonna pay off. 63 00:03:23,284 --> 00:03:26,811 And that, Jeff, is the truth. 64 00:03:29,857 --> 00:03:32,724 Did you lose the egg you put the dollar bill in? 65 00:03:32,893 --> 00:03:34,520 That's how it works? 66 00:04:04,291 --> 00:04:06,657 Britta, remember that guy you were in love with... 67 00:04:06,827 --> 00:04:08,920 but your love was torn asunder because... 68 00:04:09,096 --> 00:04:12,156 he was the human incarnation of a certain sandwich franchise? 69 00:04:12,333 --> 00:04:14,699 - Sub...? - Don't say it. Don't ever say that name... 70 00:04:14,868 --> 00:04:16,233 without compensation. 71 00:04:16,403 --> 00:04:18,371 I know how much that experience hurt you. 72 00:04:18,539 --> 00:04:21,337 Which is why I'm warning you, I just saw him in the parking lot. 73 00:04:22,710 --> 00:04:25,645 Breathe. The self-destructive part of you wants to run straight to him. 74 00:04:25,813 --> 00:04:29,374 - We need to be smarter than that, right? - Right. Thank you, Annie. 75 00:04:29,550 --> 00:04:31,950 Now, I have one more class, but if you can wait... 76 00:04:32,119 --> 00:04:33,746 40 minutes, I will meet you... 77 00:04:35,756 --> 00:04:37,121 No. 78 00:04:37,291 --> 00:04:39,384 I don't just fling myself into the wild. 79 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,551 The hub of a quality camping experience... 80 00:04:41,729 --> 00:04:43,754 is a safe and reliable generator. 81 00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:48,461 Uh... You know what? Um, I'll talk to you girls later, all right? 82 00:04:48,635 --> 00:04:50,626 Stay inventive and enthusiastic. 83 00:04:50,804 --> 00:04:52,203 Thank you. 84 00:04:52,373 --> 00:04:53,397 - Britta. - Sub... 85 00:04:53,574 --> 00:04:56,975 No, no, no. That's my sandwich name. I'm my own man, now. 86 00:04:57,144 --> 00:05:00,113 I'm a free, reliable, quality man... 87 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:01,645 named Rick. - Hi, Rick. 88 00:05:02,449 --> 00:05:04,076 - Unh! - That's for half of my heart. 89 00:05:04,251 --> 00:05:05,912 - Ah! - And that's for the other half. 90 00:05:06,086 --> 00:05:09,385 And this is for being the reason there's two halves of my heart. 91 00:05:09,556 --> 00:05:12,116 Can you crouch down? You're taller than my instructor. 92 00:05:12,292 --> 00:05:14,920 - I'm only a yellow belt. - No. It took me this long... 93 00:05:15,095 --> 00:05:17,893 to gain my freedom. I never stopped thinking about you. 94 00:05:18,065 --> 00:05:21,557 - You touched me in ways no one has. - Nice. 95 00:05:22,102 --> 00:05:24,570 - I came back for you. - You did? 96 00:05:25,939 --> 00:05:28,237 Hey, Rick. Look what I got. Ha! 97 00:05:28,409 --> 00:05:30,775 - Ho, ho! Great, dean. - Yeah. He, he. 98 00:05:30,944 --> 00:05:33,139 But, uh, where's your Honda Fit? 99 00:05:33,313 --> 00:05:36,441 Oh, I drive a CR-V. The Fit combines the efficiency of a subcompact... 100 00:05:36,617 --> 00:05:39,245 with the versatility to take what life throws at it. 101 00:05:39,420 --> 00:05:41,251 Yeah, that's what you said. That's me. 102 00:05:41,422 --> 00:05:43,515 Can the CR-V not take what life throws at it? 103 00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:45,954 Yeah, but the CR-V adds durability and storage. 104 00:05:46,293 --> 00:05:48,557 Okay. That makes sense. 105 00:05:49,763 --> 00:05:51,560 I bet my bank has a grace period. 106 00:05:51,732 --> 00:05:53,927 I'm going to get a CR-V. 107 00:05:54,401 --> 00:05:55,425 Dean, Dean. 108 00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:58,601 - Are you guerilla marketing for Honda? - Shh! 109 00:05:59,139 --> 00:06:02,666 You're not allowed to know that. I'm useless to Honda if anyone knows. 110 00:06:02,843 --> 00:06:05,277 Unbelievable. It's the same story all over again. 111 00:06:05,446 --> 00:06:07,539 I disagree. I think it's a whole new story. 112 00:06:07,714 --> 00:06:10,342 I have a beard now and an identity. 113 00:06:10,517 --> 00:06:13,543 Selling Hondas is just my job. And they make great products... 114 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:16,814 that I'd wanna sell anyway. - So can you have a girlfriend? 115 00:06:17,391 --> 00:06:18,483 That's what I thought. 116 00:06:18,659 --> 00:06:20,957 Then see you around. As a friend. 117 00:06:21,528 --> 00:06:23,496 As a friend, Britta... 118 00:06:23,664 --> 00:06:27,896 can I at least show you the CR-V's easy fold-down 60/40 split-rear seat? 119 00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:29,899 For 15 minutes. 120 00:06:30,070 --> 00:06:31,435 Then friends for real. 121 00:06:36,376 --> 00:06:39,243 - Great news. - The steel-drum thing paid off? 122 00:06:39,413 --> 00:06:42,007 We invited Elroy to meet us in the study room for a game night. 123 00:06:42,182 --> 00:06:43,342 - He said yes. - Yah! 124 00:06:43,517 --> 00:06:46,816 Gonna play Pretty Please Will You Like Us More? That'll warm him up. 125 00:06:46,987 --> 00:06:51,083 In celebration of Elroy's life peaking The Ears Have it. 126 00:06:51,258 --> 00:06:53,226 The classic game of whose ears you have... 127 00:06:53,393 --> 00:06:54,951 which ears have it and whether you have those ears. 128 00:06:59,399 --> 00:07:01,867 We're work-shopping new handshakes. 129 00:07:02,035 --> 00:07:04,503 You realize you're just reinforcing his aloofness? 130 00:07:04,671 --> 00:07:07,162 You want someone to like you, don't get to know them. 131 00:07:07,341 --> 00:07:09,605 Sit back, wait for them to notice you're cool. 132 00:07:09,776 --> 00:07:12,108 - Are you 13? - What's the age on The Ears Have It? 133 00:07:12,279 --> 00:07:13,439 - Seven and up. - Then I'm 6. 134 00:07:13,614 --> 00:07:14,774 Ugh. 135 00:07:18,986 --> 00:07:22,149 I will say you've become more reliable and durable. 136 00:07:22,890 --> 00:07:24,721 I hope we can do this again. 137 00:07:24,892 --> 00:07:27,656 No, Rick. I want a normal relationship. 138 00:07:27,828 --> 00:07:30,126 I want to experience brunch in public. 139 00:07:30,297 --> 00:07:33,494 I want a non-financial reason to text my parents. 140 00:07:33,667 --> 00:07:35,794 I wanna tell another person how to dress. 141 00:07:35,969 --> 00:07:38,369 We can have a relationship. We just have to follow a few rules. 142 00:07:39,706 --> 00:07:42,470 - Rick? Are you in there? - You have to hide. 143 00:07:42,643 --> 00:07:45,203 The windows are fogged over. Are you napping heavily? 144 00:07:45,379 --> 00:07:48,075 - I can't hide forever. - No, but you can hide in comfort. 145 00:07:48,248 --> 00:07:50,614 There's 35.2 cubic feet of cargo space back here. 146 00:07:50,784 --> 00:07:52,012 Please, Britta? 147 00:07:52,185 --> 00:07:54,312 Damn it. Ugh. 148 00:07:55,088 --> 00:07:56,248 Ah! Ha-ha-ha. 149 00:07:56,823 --> 00:07:58,848 Come on, come on, come on. 150 00:07:59,326 --> 00:08:00,588 Ta-da! 151 00:08:00,761 --> 00:08:02,922 Why choose when you can Hond-oose? 152 00:08:03,096 --> 00:08:05,462 Oh, and that blower, that was just an impulse buy. 153 00:08:05,632 --> 00:08:08,396 Wow, dean, you know, one vehicle's enough for one person. 154 00:08:08,569 --> 00:08:11,561 I guess I know that in my head, but I can't shake this fear... 155 00:08:11,738 --> 00:08:15,333 of losing even one small part of what Honda has to offer. 156 00:08:15,642 --> 00:08:18,110 My God. You're a Level 7 Susceptible. 157 00:08:18,278 --> 00:08:20,178 - A what? - Uh, nothing. Nothing, I... 158 00:08:20,347 --> 00:08:22,747 Look, Rick, whatever that is, you can tell me. 159 00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:24,110 I'm on board. 160 00:08:25,786 --> 00:08:26,844 Yes. 161 00:08:28,121 --> 00:08:30,214 - Yes, you are. Heh. - Heh, oh... 162 00:08:38,398 --> 00:08:39,763 - Am I found in Africa? - Yes. 163 00:08:39,933 --> 00:08:42,367 And San Diego and the Bronx. 164 00:08:42,536 --> 00:08:44,163 - A woman? - Am I large? 165 00:08:44,638 --> 00:08:46,606 - Am I an elephant? - Yaaahh! 166 00:08:47,741 --> 00:08:50,471 I was thinking dolphin, but I knew they didn't have ears. 167 00:08:50,644 --> 00:08:53,306 Because my dentist has a poster of one on the ceiling... 168 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,415 - ... and I recently had a root canal. Ha-ha-ha! 169 00:08:56,950 --> 00:08:59,748 - I could hear you down the hall. - We're playing The Ears Have It! 170 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,512 - Chang's ahead. - With an asterisk. 171 00:09:01,688 --> 00:09:04,316 - I'm cheating. - You can have my spot. I should leave. 172 00:09:04,491 --> 00:09:07,756 Whoa, no. Well, fun hanging out with you, Elroy. 173 00:09:07,928 --> 00:09:09,919 We know you have your choice of friends... 174 00:09:10,097 --> 00:09:13,464 and we thank you for choosing us. - Easy choice to make. 175 00:09:15,168 --> 00:09:17,227 See? Told you. 176 00:09:17,404 --> 00:09:19,929 "Elroy doesn't like us. What are we gonna do?" 177 00:09:20,107 --> 00:09:21,131 You guys are goofs. 178 00:09:21,308 --> 00:09:24,300 - Yeah, we were silly. - I got up to make nachos and Elroy said: 179 00:09:24,478 --> 00:09:26,469 "That was 'not your' job," and we laughed. Eh-he. 180 00:09:26,647 --> 00:09:27,773 Then he made them for me. 181 00:09:27,948 --> 00:09:31,008 It was more than wordplay. It really wasn't my job in his eyes. 182 00:09:31,184 --> 00:09:35,018 I hadn't seen that side of him until now. He had a great time. 183 00:09:35,188 --> 00:09:38,282 - Till Jeff showed up. Ha-ha-ha! - Maybe he just doesn't like Jeff. 184 00:09:38,458 --> 00:09:40,619 Okay, my deal. Boston rules. Two up, one down. 185 00:09:40,794 --> 00:09:44,321 Elf ears are wild, joker ears are regular. Ears go cold once off the head. 186 00:09:44,498 --> 00:09:47,490 Rat ears, an automatic loss. No peeking, sniffing or grunting. 187 00:09:47,668 --> 00:09:49,761 No asking, "Do I have lobes?" Chang's ahead. 188 00:09:49,936 --> 00:09:51,563 - With an asterisk. - It's not true. 189 00:09:51,738 --> 00:09:55,299 It is. I cheat at everything. I'm cheating at hide-and-seek right now. 190 00:09:55,475 --> 00:09:58,774 We weren't supposed to leave the rec center. Okay, let's do this. 191 00:09:58,945 --> 00:10:00,537 Extra cards. 192 00:10:01,948 --> 00:10:03,540 Stupid sink! 193 00:10:03,717 --> 00:10:05,582 Every time! 194 00:10:05,752 --> 00:10:07,014 Mother... 195 00:10:07,187 --> 00:10:08,711 I hate... Ugh! 196 00:10:09,222 --> 00:10:11,019 - Oh. - No rush. 197 00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:12,488 Hi. 198 00:10:12,659 --> 00:10:13,717 What do you need? 199 00:10:13,894 --> 00:10:14,952 A club soda, please. 200 00:10:15,128 --> 00:10:17,221 How about something to keep it company? 201 00:10:17,397 --> 00:10:20,628 - What do you recommend? - Well, Scotch and soda is a classic. 202 00:10:20,801 --> 00:10:21,859 This one's okay. 203 00:10:22,035 --> 00:10:24,731 We just got this one in. It's got a pig on the bottle. 204 00:10:24,905 --> 00:10:27,499 But this one, this one's really good. 205 00:10:27,674 --> 00:10:31,110 It's aged eight years, smoky, from Scotland. 206 00:10:31,278 --> 00:10:33,246 A little pricier, but worth it. 207 00:10:33,413 --> 00:10:35,904 I drink this one when I've got a reason to celebrate. 208 00:10:36,083 --> 00:10:38,210 Well, then I will take that one. 209 00:10:38,385 --> 00:10:40,945 - I've got something to celebrate. - Yeah? What's that? 210 00:10:41,121 --> 00:10:42,850 She's good. 211 00:10:44,758 --> 00:10:46,089 What are you doing here? 212 00:10:46,259 --> 00:10:48,750 Britta, this is my boss. 213 00:10:49,496 --> 00:10:50,656 From Honda? 214 00:10:50,831 --> 00:10:53,994 In public, you'll refer to us as "Hilary" from now on. Continue. 215 00:10:54,167 --> 00:10:57,466 There's a program we can be in where we covertly market as a team. 216 00:10:57,637 --> 00:11:00,435 We can be a couple, in a relationship, in public. 217 00:11:00,607 --> 00:11:02,598 We can walk down the street holding hands. 218 00:11:02,776 --> 00:11:06,337 If I take a job tricking people into buying things they don't want. 219 00:11:06,513 --> 00:11:09,073 Do you enjoy billboards and commercials, Miss Perry? 220 00:11:09,249 --> 00:11:13,049 You mean shill-boards and con-mercials? 221 00:11:13,220 --> 00:11:14,517 No, I don't. 222 00:11:14,688 --> 00:11:15,916 I detest them. 223 00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:19,252 They are unmanned bulldozers, rolling over anything in their path. 224 00:11:19,426 --> 00:11:21,394 What Rick does is surgical. 225 00:11:21,561 --> 00:11:25,053 He finds that part of each life that Honda can improve... 226 00:11:25,232 --> 00:11:29,362 and gently bathes it in the most helpful information possible. 227 00:11:29,536 --> 00:11:31,970 I don't think you understand how surgery works. 228 00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:33,800 I came in here to get a club soda. 229 00:11:33,974 --> 00:11:37,205 Right now I am drinking probably the best Scotch I've had in years. 230 00:11:37,377 --> 00:11:38,810 Did you trick me? 231 00:11:38,979 --> 00:11:41,072 Am I suffering? 232 00:11:42,616 --> 00:11:43,981 Do you love this man? 233 00:11:45,318 --> 00:11:46,910 - I do. - Then I pronounce you... 234 00:11:47,087 --> 00:11:48,782 a highly influential couple. 235 00:11:48,955 --> 00:11:51,253 You may kiss your boyfriend. 236 00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:58,497 - Where'd he go? - That's not for us to understand. 237 00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:03,295 Well, okay, but he's right there. 238 00:12:12,078 --> 00:12:14,069 - Hi, Todd. - Hey, guys. 239 00:12:14,247 --> 00:12:16,374 - Mind if we sit with you? - That'd be great. 240 00:12:17,984 --> 00:12:20,885 I have to say, you guys seem very happy together. 241 00:12:21,054 --> 00:12:22,316 Well, we have our moments. 242 00:12:22,489 --> 00:12:25,117 I'm excited because we're going antiquing this weekend. 243 00:12:25,292 --> 00:12:28,022 I love antiquing. Everything is so old. 244 00:12:28,195 --> 00:12:30,026 - I like it too. - You said you hated it. 245 00:12:30,197 --> 00:12:33,758 I hated finding these treasures and not being able to fit them in the car. 246 00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:35,424 - Now I got CR-V. - CR-V? 247 00:12:35,602 --> 00:12:38,366 Yeah, Rick's new Honda. He won't shut up about it. 248 00:12:38,538 --> 00:12:41,598 - It's kind of a game changer. - It's certainly a sex-life changer. 249 00:12:43,109 --> 00:12:46,135 Sorry. We're being obnoxious. 250 00:12:46,313 --> 00:12:49,578 - So, what have you been up to? - I don't remember. 251 00:12:49,749 --> 00:12:51,774 - CR-V, you say? - CR-V. 252 00:12:51,952 --> 00:12:54,250 CR-V. 253 00:12:56,389 --> 00:12:57,947 - You're amazing. - You're amazing. 254 00:12:58,124 --> 00:12:59,113 Honda's amazing. 255 00:12:59,292 --> 00:13:02,728 - I want you to meet my parents. - Yes. 256 00:13:03,029 --> 00:13:04,724 Honda. 257 00:13:04,898 --> 00:13:06,593 - Look, Britta's in love. - Yep. 258 00:13:06,766 --> 00:13:08,290 He must be a very special young man. 259 00:13:08,468 --> 00:13:12,336 I bet they'll be together for a very long time. 260 00:13:16,276 --> 00:13:19,074 - Yeah, you got her pegged, man. Pegged. - Oh, ha-ha-ha! 261 00:13:19,246 --> 00:13:20,713 - Oh, hey, Jeff. - Hey. 262 00:13:20,881 --> 00:13:22,473 Hey. Here, you can have my seat. 263 00:13:22,649 --> 00:13:24,708 - I was just going to class. - Before you go. 264 00:13:24,885 --> 00:13:27,683 I know you have every one of Natalie is Freezing's CDs... 265 00:13:27,854 --> 00:13:30,015 but Abed found some songs by them online... 266 00:13:30,190 --> 00:13:33,751 that they did for a charity album for homeless skateboarders. 267 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,560 "Plastic Doll Parts," "Wallpaper Chrysalis." 268 00:13:36,730 --> 00:13:38,698 "Weird Blanket." Ha, ha. 269 00:13:38,865 --> 00:13:41,561 I never heard these. This is great. Thanks. 270 00:13:42,102 --> 00:13:44,593 Hey, stay away from that mechanic. 271 00:13:44,771 --> 00:13:46,068 Unless I need a wrench made of licorice. 272 00:13:52,245 --> 00:13:54,543 Oh, man. I'm sorry. Inside joke. 273 00:13:54,714 --> 00:13:57,615 I'm like a fart to that guy. He can't get away fast enough. 274 00:13:57,784 --> 00:13:58,978 What? No. 275 00:13:59,152 --> 00:14:00,380 I mean, maybe. 276 00:14:01,254 --> 00:14:04,246 What happened at that Ears game that made him like you so much? 277 00:14:04,424 --> 00:14:07,416 Brief moments of human vulnerability. Not your wheelhouse. 278 00:14:07,594 --> 00:14:11,030 Oh, I'm sure you have detailed files on human vulnerability, Abed. 279 00:14:11,197 --> 00:14:12,755 - Wha...? - Whoa, take a knee, man. 280 00:14:12,933 --> 00:14:13,957 He's right, Jeff. 281 00:14:14,134 --> 00:14:16,659 If you want Elroy to like you, maybe you need to put yourself out there. 282 00:14:18,071 --> 00:14:19,698 You mean bribe him with gifts? 283 00:14:19,873 --> 00:14:22,774 - Like your Natasha Freezes CD? - Mmmmm... 284 00:14:22,943 --> 00:14:24,069 - Natalie is Freezing. - Ugh. 285 00:14:24,611 --> 00:14:27,136 Natalie is Freezing. Ha! 286 00:14:27,647 --> 00:14:28,978 Natalie is Freezing. 287 00:14:29,149 --> 00:14:32,482 Natalie is Freezing. Natalie is Freezing. Natalie is Freezing. 288 00:14:35,855 --> 00:14:36,981 What is this? 289 00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:41,252 I don't know. I... 290 00:14:43,997 --> 00:14:45,123 I don't know. 291 00:14:45,832 --> 00:14:47,857 - Honda. - The power of dreams. 292 00:14:48,034 --> 00:14:51,401 Dean Pelton, I know how susceptible you are to advertising. 293 00:14:51,571 --> 00:14:53,801 Would you say I'm a Level 7 Susceptible? 294 00:14:53,974 --> 00:14:57,000 No. Because why would I? Because that's moon-man talk. 295 00:14:57,177 --> 00:15:01,773 You mentioned a new kid earlier who told you about the new Honda Fit. 296 00:15:01,948 --> 00:15:03,176 - Rick. - Britta's boyfriend? 297 00:15:03,350 --> 00:15:05,375 Yeah. But he's not... No. 298 00:15:05,552 --> 00:15:06,814 He's a good man. 299 00:15:06,987 --> 00:15:10,787 And he wouldn't secretly be working for Honda because when we first met... 300 00:15:10,957 --> 00:15:14,393 he was secretly working for a completely different company. 301 00:15:15,128 --> 00:15:19,121 Are you...? I don't know how to... 302 00:15:19,299 --> 00:15:23,360 I have a rule about being constructive, so I can't ask any questions right now. 303 00:15:23,536 --> 00:15:27,529 All the questions I have right now are rhetorical and end with the word "idiot." 304 00:15:27,707 --> 00:15:31,404 Do you know what a rhetorical...? No, of course you don't, you're an idiot. 305 00:15:31,578 --> 00:15:33,102 I'm sorry. 306 00:15:33,279 --> 00:15:36,407 I am so sorry, but you're so stupid. 307 00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:40,576 You have no idea. You're the only one who has no idea because guess why. 308 00:15:41,054 --> 00:15:43,022 Don't answer that. You'll get it wrong. 309 00:15:43,189 --> 00:15:45,180 Aw, so dumb. You're just a dumb little man... 310 00:15:45,358 --> 00:15:47,883 who tries to destroy this school every minute... 311 00:15:48,061 --> 00:15:49,926 I am sorry. 312 00:15:50,096 --> 00:15:52,257 I'm so sorry. 313 00:15:56,269 --> 00:15:58,464 Oh! Oh, it's okay. 314 00:15:58,638 --> 00:15:59,935 I mean, it's not okay, but... 315 00:16:01,341 --> 00:16:02,603 Shh. Shh. 316 00:16:02,776 --> 00:16:04,573 Oh, so stupid. 317 00:16:04,744 --> 00:16:06,507 - Ah! - Oh, shh, shh. 318 00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:09,075 Such a dummy. 319 00:16:09,249 --> 00:16:12,047 We are just so thrilled that you brought a friend. 320 00:16:12,218 --> 00:16:15,915 Thrilled. And it is "friend," then. I mean, is that the correct moniker? 321 00:16:16,723 --> 00:16:17,985 - Boyfriend. - Hello. 322 00:16:18,158 --> 00:16:19,216 - Oh! - Oh, ha, ha! 323 00:16:19,392 --> 00:16:20,791 This is... Well, that's... 324 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:22,291 - Yes - This is very exciting. 325 00:16:22,462 --> 00:16:24,828 You could just bowl me over with one of those... 326 00:16:24,998 --> 00:16:28,456 Sweetheart, what are the, uh...? You remember at the Johnson's cabin? 327 00:16:28,635 --> 00:16:31,229 - Feathers? - You could bowl me over with a feather. 328 00:16:31,404 --> 00:16:33,736 Well, you have a lovely home. I love this carpet. 329 00:16:33,907 --> 00:16:36,603 It reminds me of the quality floor mats in my Honda CR-V. 330 00:16:36,776 --> 00:16:38,676 Oh, come on, sweetie. That's not necessary. 331 00:16:38,845 --> 00:16:41,040 You refer to your floor mats as quality. 332 00:16:41,381 --> 00:16:44,873 I've never heard that level of floor-mat enthusiasm. 333 00:16:45,051 --> 00:16:47,212 Should we be caring more about our floor mats? 334 00:16:47,387 --> 00:16:49,548 I don't think we need to jump to conclusions. 335 00:16:49,722 --> 00:16:53,055 - Let the man finish his story. - They're floor mats, that's the story. 336 00:16:53,226 --> 00:16:55,922 What's this? What's that? There's things all around us. 337 00:16:56,096 --> 00:16:58,121 Would you like to see a movie? We have one. 338 00:16:58,298 --> 00:17:00,698 What is it, George? It's... It's the... The Aviator. 339 00:17:00,867 --> 00:17:02,357 No, no... The Avatar. 340 00:17:02,535 --> 00:17:05,129 Uh, no, thank you. That movie is three hours of puke. 341 00:17:11,978 --> 00:17:14,708 Of course Britta's joking. 342 00:17:14,881 --> 00:17:17,475 We enjoy Avatar very much. 343 00:17:17,650 --> 00:17:19,413 - We do? - Ha, ha... Yes. 344 00:17:19,586 --> 00:17:23,818 It's an immensely popular movie. Of course, we love it. 345 00:17:26,626 --> 00:17:28,787 - How many alumni have responded? - Not many. 346 00:17:28,962 --> 00:17:31,624 But current students will show up for the degree raffle. 347 00:17:31,798 --> 00:17:34,289 - How about we put the DJ there? - You don't need a DJ. 348 00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:36,958 I've been saying that since the invention of shuffle. 349 00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:39,628 I have booked a surprise musical guest this evening. 350 00:17:39,806 --> 00:17:44,800 A little piece of '90s nostalgia you might call Natalie is Freezing. 351 00:17:48,882 --> 00:17:51,476 - Are you out of your damn mind? - You know this band? 352 00:17:51,651 --> 00:17:53,016 You know damn well I do. 353 00:17:53,186 --> 00:17:55,984 Why do you always...? Are you trying to get me to like you? 354 00:17:57,023 --> 00:17:58,047 - Pfft. No. - Good. 355 00:17:58,224 --> 00:17:59,555 Because it ain't working. 356 00:17:59,726 --> 00:18:03,025 You weird, hair-gelled CPR dummy. 357 00:18:03,730 --> 00:18:05,561 - It's pomade. - Aaaahhh. 358 00:18:05,732 --> 00:18:08,963 As long as I'm up here, does anyone want anything reached? 359 00:18:10,203 --> 00:18:13,695 - Hey. We're Natalie is Freezing. - Oh, are you Natalie? 360 00:18:13,873 --> 00:18:16,501 I'm Julie. The name of the band is Natalie is Freezing. 361 00:18:16,676 --> 00:18:19,440 Why would anyone in the band be Natalie? We're artists. 362 00:18:19,612 --> 00:18:22,308 Cool. So our DJ was gonna man the frozen-yogurt machine. 363 00:18:22,482 --> 00:18:25,883 - Is that something you can handle? - If you do need anything reached... 364 00:18:26,052 --> 00:18:27,883 I've been practicing. 365 00:18:29,522 --> 00:18:31,285 We like Avatar? 366 00:18:31,457 --> 00:18:35,086 In public, yes. We like things most people like. 367 00:18:35,261 --> 00:18:38,628 - Our job isn't to alienate people. - We're on the job with my parents? 368 00:18:38,798 --> 00:18:42,097 With everyone, everywhere, all the time. 369 00:18:42,268 --> 00:18:44,429 - You wanted a relationship. - A real one. 370 00:18:44,604 --> 00:18:47,437 It's real. Do you not think Honda makes good products? 371 00:18:47,607 --> 00:18:50,542 Of course I do. That's never been remotely in question. 372 00:18:50,710 --> 00:18:54,077 - But why does that mean I like Avatar? - Because you're not a monster. 373 00:18:54,247 --> 00:18:57,182 Because people don't wanna drive what a monster drives. 374 00:18:57,350 --> 00:19:01,343 Stop the Honda, Rick. Do you hear me? Use a light press of your foot... 375 00:19:01,521 --> 00:19:04,081 to engage the highly responsive anti-lock brakes... 376 00:19:04,257 --> 00:19:06,122 of this incredible vehicle. Now! 377 00:19:09,729 --> 00:19:12,095 I wanna be with you, the real you. 378 00:19:12,265 --> 00:19:15,723 This is me. This is what I do. 379 00:19:15,902 --> 00:19:19,030 When I influence people to buy Honda products... 380 00:19:20,073 --> 00:19:21,700 I feel God's pleasure. 381 00:19:22,008 --> 00:19:23,407 That's from Chariots of Fire. 382 00:19:23,576 --> 00:19:26,044 - I love Chariots of Fire. - So do I. 383 00:19:28,014 --> 00:19:29,038 Also, we have to. 384 00:19:30,650 --> 00:19:32,550 Damn it, Britta. 385 00:19:33,886 --> 00:19:34,910 Oops. 386 00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,559 Oh, man. You people are everywhere. 387 00:19:43,730 --> 00:19:47,632 - I was looking for a place to hide. - Don't worry. I'm not gonna bother you. 388 00:19:48,468 --> 00:19:49,526 Okay then. 389 00:19:50,303 --> 00:19:52,464 Give me a gin and tonic. 390 00:19:56,776 --> 00:19:59,643 Your friend, Jeff, booked Natalie is Freezing for the dance. 391 00:19:59,812 --> 00:20:03,407 What? Tonight? We gotta go. Why aren't you excited? 392 00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:05,274 I used to date her. 393 00:20:06,653 --> 00:20:08,211 - Natalie? - Julie. 394 00:20:08,388 --> 00:20:10,652 Why would the band's name be her name? She's an artist. 395 00:20:10,823 --> 00:20:13,951 We listened to them together. You never said anything about this. 396 00:20:14,127 --> 00:20:16,027 She messed me up. 397 00:20:16,195 --> 00:20:18,561 She messed me up pretty good. 398 00:20:20,066 --> 00:20:22,057 - To forgetting. - Not gonna toast to that. 399 00:20:22,235 --> 00:20:24,032 - Then forget you too. - Aw, give me a break. 400 00:20:24,203 --> 00:20:25,295 That's the problem. 401 00:20:25,471 --> 00:20:28,338 Everybody's in a rush to protect themselves from each other. 402 00:20:28,508 --> 00:20:32,604 Sure, yes, you gotta defend your castle, but you also gotta... 403 00:20:33,379 --> 00:20:35,244 What's that thing that castles have? 404 00:20:35,415 --> 00:20:36,882 - Walls? - Come on. 405 00:20:37,050 --> 00:20:39,109 - A moat? - It goes over the moat. Goes over. 406 00:20:39,285 --> 00:20:41,753 Enemy knights? Cavalry? Uh, arrows? 407 00:20:41,921 --> 00:20:45,322 - No, come on, stop it. Goes like this: - Alligators? 408 00:20:45,491 --> 00:20:48,358 - It's one thing. It's mechanical. - One mechanical alligator. 409 00:20:48,528 --> 00:20:49,859 Are you screwing with me? 410 00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:52,793 - I don't know you're talking about! - One mechanical thing! 411 00:20:52,965 --> 00:20:55,195 - It goes over the moat! It goes like this: - A catapult! 412 00:20:55,368 --> 00:20:57,199 - Aah! - Oh, Jesus! What are you doing? 413 00:20:57,370 --> 00:20:59,998 - Britta. I love you. - Huh? 414 00:21:00,173 --> 00:21:02,664 I'm gonna quit Honda. I'll get a job, uh... 415 00:21:03,910 --> 00:21:06,037 I... I don't know. What do regular people do? 416 00:21:06,212 --> 00:21:07,975 Well, they buy things. I'll do that. 417 00:21:08,514 --> 00:21:11,483 - For me? - No, for Honda. Yes, for you. 418 00:21:12,251 --> 00:21:16,119 Normally I would give you a hard time, but I don't wanna be like this guy. 419 00:21:17,557 --> 00:21:20,458 - You're...? You're coming over? Okay. - I'm coming to you. 420 00:21:20,626 --> 00:21:23,754 - That seems like a really hard way... - Watch out for this foot. 421 00:21:23,930 --> 00:21:24,988 - Okay. - Okay. 422 00:21:25,164 --> 00:21:27,291 - Hold on to me. Hold on to me. - Aah. 423 00:21:27,467 --> 00:21:29,196 - Oh, my God. - Ha! Oh... 424 00:21:31,070 --> 00:21:32,162 Oh, wow. 425 00:21:32,338 --> 00:21:34,602 - Uh, what do we do now? - Uh, my school's having a dance. 426 00:21:34,774 --> 00:21:36,969 - My favorite band is playing. - Let's go. 427 00:21:37,143 --> 00:21:38,872 Okay. 428 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,748 A drawbridge. A drawbridge! 429 00:21:53,793 --> 00:21:56,193 You need a drawbridge. 430 00:22:04,937 --> 00:22:06,734 It's Elroy's favorite band too. 431 00:22:06,906 --> 00:22:09,704 I once hallucinated one of their music videos in his RV. 432 00:22:09,876 --> 00:22:12,709 - That's weird. - No, the dean can't introduce the band. 433 00:22:12,879 --> 00:22:16,076 He's deciding what vehicles to buy for the Athletic Department. 434 00:22:16,249 --> 00:22:18,149 Yeah, he needs a whole fleet. 435 00:22:18,317 --> 00:22:19,978 That's right, a fleet of vehicles. 436 00:22:20,153 --> 00:22:22,883 He just needs to pick a model of car. He's in his office. 437 00:22:23,055 --> 00:22:25,922 - Did you hear that? - I heard it, but we're out of the game. 438 00:22:26,092 --> 00:22:27,992 Not yet. We can leave on a high. 439 00:22:28,161 --> 00:22:31,892 The dean is a Level 7 Susceptible, Britta. It's a once-in-a-lifetime feeling. 440 00:22:32,064 --> 00:22:35,966 - You won't believe it. - I believe it, but I don't need it. Do you? 441 00:22:36,502 --> 00:22:39,130 I'll just do this one last job, then we'll be free. 442 00:22:43,109 --> 00:22:44,940 Be right back. 443 00:22:46,946 --> 00:22:49,471 Guess I'm a Level 7 Susceptible too. 444 00:23:07,834 --> 00:23:10,428 Why do they assume somebody is named Natalie? 445 00:23:10,603 --> 00:23:13,504 It happens all the time. Remember when we were in Syracuse...? 446 00:23:13,673 --> 00:23:14,833 Ahem. 447 00:23:15,508 --> 00:23:16,975 - Elroy? - Julie. 448 00:23:17,643 --> 00:23:21,636 You messed me up. You came after me because I wasn't interested. 449 00:23:21,814 --> 00:23:23,907 You got me interested and I fell hard. 450 00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:26,483 Then you got bored and destroyed me. 451 00:23:27,019 --> 00:23:30,682 And I've been afraid to love anybody for 20 years since. But not anymore. 452 00:23:30,857 --> 00:23:32,518 - Okay. - I still love you. 453 00:23:32,692 --> 00:23:35,684 But I'm not gonna keep hurting others just because you hurt me. 454 00:23:35,862 --> 00:23:37,659 - Fine. - Fine. 455 00:23:37,830 --> 00:23:40,094 That's you. That's my impression of you. 456 00:23:40,266 --> 00:23:41,858 You jaded hipster a-hole. 457 00:23:42,034 --> 00:23:43,763 I still love your music. 458 00:23:45,004 --> 00:23:46,369 Have a great gig. 459 00:23:46,539 --> 00:23:48,734 Elroy, I'm tired of playing this game. 460 00:23:48,908 --> 00:23:52,036 I like you and I want you to like me. 461 00:23:53,379 --> 00:23:54,846 Huh... Okay. 462 00:23:55,381 --> 00:23:58,373 You're a good guy, Jeff Winger. You and I are gonna be friends. 463 00:23:58,818 --> 00:24:01,013 - Okay, great. Whatever. - I love you. 464 00:24:01,721 --> 00:24:02,847 I love you. 465 00:24:03,022 --> 00:24:05,013 I love you. 466 00:24:05,358 --> 00:24:07,918 I love you, I love you, I love you... 467 00:24:08,294 --> 00:24:09,886 - Pfft. - Pfft. 468 00:24:16,035 --> 00:24:17,059 Sorry, Britta. 469 00:24:21,274 --> 00:24:22,298 Britta... 470 00:24:22,475 --> 00:24:25,603 did you know your boyfriend was guerilla marketing for Honda? 471 00:24:26,612 --> 00:24:29,911 I knew he represented something I wanted to buy. 472 00:24:30,082 --> 00:24:31,242 I did good, Frankie. 473 00:24:31,417 --> 00:24:33,476 - Didn't I do good? - Yes. 474 00:24:33,653 --> 00:24:35,120 Good dean. 475 00:24:35,288 --> 00:24:36,880 Smart dean. 476 00:24:37,823 --> 00:24:39,757 He'll be fine. 477 00:24:40,092 --> 00:24:43,892 - But he can never come back here. - I understand. 478 00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:51,597 Of course, if you want to come with us... 479 00:24:51,771 --> 00:24:53,830 Because you are good. 480 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:56,403 I had nothing to do with it. 481 00:24:56,576 --> 00:25:00,376 The 2015 Honda CR-V sells itself. 482 00:25:00,546 --> 00:25:05,347 That's why it's this year's Motor Trend Sport/Utility of the Year. 483 00:25:18,264 --> 00:25:21,165 Oh, my. Where did he go? 484 00:25:22,969 --> 00:25:23,993 Thank you. 485 00:25:25,104 --> 00:25:26,128 Thank you. 486 00:25:26,973 --> 00:25:30,409 I know all of you know this next one. 487 00:25:31,444 --> 00:25:33,503 "Pillar of Garbage!" Whoo! 488 00:25:42,855 --> 00:25:44,379 I think this song is about me. 489 00:25:46,025 --> 00:25:47,287 Or heroin. Oh, who cares? 490 00:26:34,173 --> 00:26:35,538 So now I ask a question? 491 00:26:35,708 --> 00:26:37,539 - Mom does. We answer it. - What am I? 492 00:26:37,710 --> 00:26:39,575 - A rabbit. - Obviously you can't do that. 493 00:26:39,745 --> 00:26:42,111 You can't ask what you are. Mom, change your ears. 494 00:26:42,281 --> 00:26:44,681 Okay, sweetie. You didn't say that before. 495 00:26:45,451 --> 00:26:48,511 - Ask Mom a question about your ears. - I can't see my ears. 496 00:26:48,688 --> 00:26:51,020 - That's why you're asking. - What are my ears? 497 00:26:51,190 --> 00:26:53,021 No. Like, "Am I an animal?" 498 00:26:53,192 --> 00:26:55,683 Well, yes. You are. And so are you. 499 00:26:55,861 --> 00:26:58,386 Britta, whatever happened to Rick? 500 00:26:58,564 --> 00:27:00,657 - Oh, my God. - Okay, okay. 501 00:27:00,833 --> 00:27:02,198 Ships in the night, I guess. 502 00:27:02,368 --> 00:27:05,565 Why would you ask that? I came here because Rick and I broke up. 503 00:27:05,738 --> 00:27:08,298 I know. I just thought maybe something had changed. 504 00:27:08,474 --> 00:27:11,910 - While I was sitting here? - Well, these days, with all the apps... 505 00:27:12,078 --> 00:27:13,443 Play the game. 506 00:27:13,612 --> 00:27:16,410 All right, which friend of ours collects me? 507 00:27:16,582 --> 00:27:19,244 - Joanne Shoenbuchner. - I'm elephants. 508 00:27:19,418 --> 00:27:20,510 - Yes. - How did...? 509 00:27:20,686 --> 00:27:22,415 - Am I an animal? - Oh, not by a long shot. 510 00:27:22,588 --> 00:27:23,816 Oh, ho... 511 00:27:23,989 --> 00:27:27,254 - Do I work in your office? - Mom. 512 00:27:27,426 --> 00:27:28,552 Nathan in Accounts Receivable. 513 00:27:28,728 --> 00:27:31,720 Not his first wife, his second, who made cake for Memorial Day. 514 00:27:31,897 --> 00:27:34,764 - Am I Mr. Spock? Ah! Ha-ha-ha! - Yes, you are. That's it. 515 00:27:34,934 --> 00:27:38,426 - I love this game. This is fun. - I know. Where's...? What...? Ugh! 516 00:27:41,874 --> 00:27:44,399 I think we did something wrong. 517 00:27:45,778 --> 00:27:47,747 I know we did, Deb. 518 00:27:51,580 --> 00:27:59,580 Ripped By mstoll