1 00:00:01,373 --> 00:00:03,140 Chomsky, come here. 2 00:00:03,153 --> 00:00:04,680 Come here, Chomsky. 3 00:00:04,695 --> 00:00:07,570 - Abed, I'm really sorry. - I told you cats don't like me. 4 00:00:07,577 --> 00:00:10,084 They consider me a competitor because of my natural stealth and ambivalence. 5 00:00:10,102 --> 00:00:13,641 Oh-oh, did she get high again and forget she doesn't wear contacts? 6 00:00:13,654 --> 00:00:15,630 Before Britta moved her cats into our apartment, 7 00:00:15,636 --> 00:00:18,646 she wanted to introduce them to us on neutral ground. 8 00:00:19,594 --> 00:00:21,527 One of them scratched Abed and ran under the couch. 9 00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,667 Oh, I'll get it. Cats love me. 10 00:00:23,673 --> 00:00:25,925 - What? Are you sure? - Mm-hm. 11 00:00:27,980 --> 00:00:29,486 Hello there. 12 00:00:29,995 --> 00:00:32,593 Well, she is. Is it a he or a she? 13 00:00:32,605 --> 00:00:33,686 - He. - Well, 14 00:00:33,698 --> 00:00:36,382 he's really got his teeth in my flesh right now. 15 00:00:37,778 --> 00:00:39,283 Okay, he's touching bone. 16 00:00:40,946 --> 00:00:42,279 I'm just waiting for him to finish up. 17 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:44,004 Not a lot I can do at this point. 18 00:00:45,468 --> 00:00:47,223 This was a pretty big mistake. 19 00:00:48,188 --> 00:00:49,876 Okay. This is done. 20 00:00:52,342 --> 00:00:53,626 Oh. 21 00:00:54,256 --> 00:00:56,915 See you tomorrow. I'm pretty embarrassed about this. 22 00:00:57,718 --> 00:00:58,491 Chomsky. 23 00:00:58,504 --> 00:01:01,472 I didn't know Britta was moving in with Annie and Abed. 24 00:01:01,484 --> 00:01:02,564 - That's— - Expository? 25 00:01:02,571 --> 00:01:05,858 Yeah, Britta's fallen on hard times and our apartment is the cheapest game in town. 26 00:01:05,864 --> 00:01:09,833 Abed, it's a little embarrassing when you put it that way. 27 00:01:10,685 --> 00:01:12,378 Britta's a rich genius with super powers 28 00:01:12,403 --> 00:01:14,923 and she's gonna live on our sofa for no reason. 29 00:01:14,942 --> 00:01:15,657 Oh, no. 30 00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:18,270 Dinosaurs. My tax documents. 31 00:01:18,276 --> 00:01:19,897 Facts about Native Americans. 32 00:01:20,968 --> 00:01:21,875 Just kidding. 33 00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:25,313 Guess what I just purchased for the school from a local manufacturer, 34 00:01:25,325 --> 00:01:29,324 Greendale's first virtual reality operating system. 35 00:01:29,737 --> 00:01:32,864 Did Greendale need a virtual reality system? 36 00:01:32,883 --> 00:01:35,623 Uh, like a hole in the head. 37 00:01:36,657 --> 00:01:38,910 A hole in the head is something that you don't need. 38 00:01:38,923 --> 00:01:41,557 She said through a huge hole in her head. 39 00:01:42,005 --> 00:01:43,772 Didn't VR go out in the 90s? 40 00:01:43,777 --> 00:01:46,833 The last people I saw using it were in the Honeycomb Hideout. 41 00:01:46,839 --> 00:01:48,339 We mock what we don't understand. 42 00:01:48,346 --> 00:01:50,324 - We also mock what's silly. - Jeffrey. 43 00:01:50,331 --> 00:01:52,030 Abed, you're more machine than man. 44 00:01:52,050 --> 00:01:54,110 You wanna give me a hand setting up the equipment after lunch? 45 00:01:54,123 --> 00:01:56,489 We're all going to help Britta move into our place today. 46 00:01:57,925 --> 00:01:59,972 - Jeffrey? - Britta, something's come up. 47 00:01:59,991 --> 00:02:01,753 - I'd love to. - Oh, yeah, yeah, 48 00:02:01,778 --> 00:02:04,068 at least you don't have to bust out your usual excuse. 49 00:02:04,087 --> 00:02:05,848 You don't know for sure that I'm not a veteran, 50 00:02:05,873 --> 00:02:08,640 and nobody can say for sure that today isn't Veteran's Day. 51 00:02:08,646 --> 00:02:10,498 Hi. I got bit by a cat. 52 00:02:10,517 --> 00:02:12,223 Chang, we know. 53 00:02:13,021 --> 00:02:16,386 Why are you guys and all these books in the nurse's office? 54 00:02:39,073 --> 00:02:46,499 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for FiHTV WEB-DL by Rapunzel 55 00:02:47,524 --> 00:02:51,541 Dean, where did you get this, and for how much of the school's money? 56 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,926 Ah, relax, my little bean countess. 57 00:02:53,939 --> 00:02:57,356 - Don't worry about it. - You pay me to worry about that. 58 00:02:57,362 --> 00:02:59,309 Oh, and how much do I pay you? 59 00:02:59,326 --> 00:03:00,096 That's you. 60 00:03:00,115 --> 00:03:02,897 It was only $5000. 61 00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:03,950 What? 62 00:03:03,970 --> 00:03:06,249 Frankie, jack me up. 63 00:03:07,378 --> 00:03:10,701 I would like to see this company's website. 64 00:03:10,714 --> 00:03:13,022 - Can I use your computer? - Sure. 65 00:03:13,035 --> 00:03:19,699 Have fun in the Stone Age while I step into the third dean-mension. 66 00:03:19,705 --> 00:03:21,206 Width? 67 00:03:21,225 --> 00:03:22,848 Read the instructions, analog man. 68 00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:24,256 When entering virtual reality, 69 00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:27,957 you should calibrate the system by looking at your own hands, 70 00:03:27,964 --> 00:03:31,205 then turning them over and looking at the backs of them 71 00:03:31,230 --> 00:03:34,131 - with a sense of wonder. - Roger that. 72 00:03:36,418 --> 00:03:39,859 Welcome to the VirtuGood 6500. 73 00:03:40,745 --> 00:03:41,969 Oh. 74 00:03:43,408 --> 00:03:45,364 Initiate calibration. 75 00:03:45,807 --> 00:03:48,141 It's-It's incredible. 76 00:03:48,943 --> 00:03:51,080 I can see all around. 77 00:03:52,417 --> 00:03:55,365 I gotta take a closer look at these structures, they're... 78 00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:59,358 I'm walking! 79 00:04:00,374 --> 00:04:02,035 I am walking. 80 00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:06,451 My God. 81 00:04:14,107 --> 00:04:16,116 I know what this is. 82 00:04:22,397 --> 00:04:24,397 I set the time zone. 83 00:04:24,421 --> 00:04:27,042 I set the time zone. 84 00:04:27,051 --> 00:04:28,731 And my phone does that automatically. 85 00:04:28,749 --> 00:04:31,068 I'm gonna see if I can make the font bigger. 86 00:04:39,728 --> 00:04:42,050 The font is larger. 87 00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:44,613 And Jesus wept, 88 00:04:44,624 --> 00:04:47,567 for there were no more worlds to conquer. 89 00:04:53,387 --> 00:04:55,120 Thank you, guys, again, so much. 90 00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:56,626 I know that I already owe you you money 91 00:04:56,644 --> 00:04:59,622 but I want you to know that I got a new bartending job with better hours 92 00:04:59,647 --> 00:05:03,274 and free corn nuts which I feel like have a small but significant resale value. 93 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,706 I feel like everybody's talking about that haircut I gave Vicki, so— 94 00:05:08,257 --> 00:05:09,905 Oh, Britta. 95 00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:10,977 - Can I— - It's okay. 96 00:05:10,990 --> 00:05:12,057 Do I do this too? Okay. 97 00:05:12,082 --> 00:05:13,979 This is going to be good for all of us, right? 98 00:05:13,991 --> 00:05:15,925 It's like a fresh start. 99 00:05:16,722 --> 00:05:18,282 Oh, did you guys get a new couch? 100 00:05:18,295 --> 00:05:20,284 We got it for you. It has a pull-out. 101 00:05:20,303 --> 00:05:22,667 You guys. 102 00:05:23,274 --> 00:05:24,637 I wanted a Murphy bed for shenanigans 103 00:05:24,662 --> 00:05:26,810 but the cost to shenanigan ratio was too high. 104 00:05:26,835 --> 00:05:28,365 How did you guys afford this? 105 00:05:28,378 --> 00:05:29,911 Ah, don't worry. 106 00:05:29,917 --> 00:05:32,487 - We got a good deal. - For pick up, Perry. 107 00:05:32,493 --> 00:05:34,292 Why's my name on here? 108 00:05:35,296 --> 00:05:37,329 Because we got it for you. 109 00:05:37,343 --> 00:05:38,691 And we told the sales guy that. 110 00:05:38,697 --> 00:05:39,383 So. 111 00:05:39,408 --> 00:05:42,361 So he put your friend's name on the delivery slip? 112 00:05:42,374 --> 00:05:44,216 That seems weird, right? 113 00:05:48,703 --> 00:05:51,790 - Roommate movie night! - Roommate movie night, yay! 114 00:05:54,047 --> 00:05:56,758 - Portuguese Gremlins. - Portuguese Gremlins, ooh. 115 00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:58,732 It's Portugal's answer to Gremlins if Gremlins' question was 116 00:05:58,757 --> 00:06:00,643 how can you totally rip us off without spending any money 117 00:06:00,668 --> 00:06:01,890 and having watched us maybe twice? 118 00:06:03,528 --> 00:06:04,975 That's what the Portuguese Gremlins say, right? 119 00:06:04,988 --> 00:06:06,222 It's close enough. 120 00:06:14,401 --> 00:06:15,831 I did it. 121 00:06:15,856 --> 00:06:17,216 It's 2:39. 122 00:06:17,223 --> 00:06:19,735 That was the time when you started setting the time. 123 00:06:19,741 --> 00:06:22,748 - It's 20 minutes later now. - The power. 124 00:06:22,754 --> 00:06:24,341 The facility. 125 00:06:24,354 --> 00:06:26,546 - Jesus wept. - Stop saying Jesus wept. 126 00:06:27,125 --> 00:06:28,598 Dean, 127 00:06:28,623 --> 00:06:31,003 here's something fun you might want to try. 128 00:06:31,015 --> 00:06:35,474 Let's see if we can find the serial number to this system. 129 00:06:35,487 --> 00:06:39,573 - Oh, that could be fun. - So go to Settings. 130 00:06:39,579 --> 00:06:41,949 Is that in the volcano or the cobbler's workshop? 131 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,270 It's a monastery. 132 00:06:46,223 --> 00:06:48,596 I feel the power. 133 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:49,562 Hut. 134 00:06:50,372 --> 00:06:52,060 Hut. 135 00:06:52,085 --> 00:06:53,457 Hut. 136 00:06:54,032 --> 00:06:55,865 Welcome to Settings. 137 00:06:58,676 --> 00:06:59,789 Oh. 138 00:07:00,214 --> 00:07:03,724 Your majesty, the filing cabinets. 139 00:07:04,912 --> 00:07:08,135 You're looking for one called purchase info. 140 00:07:10,787 --> 00:07:13,668 Hit, yeah, ah-ha. 141 00:07:14,386 --> 00:07:16,645 These cabinets would never be this easy to climb in real life. 142 00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:19,903 This is the future of scrolling. My world is officially boundless. 143 00:07:19,928 --> 00:07:20,974 Ha! 144 00:07:20,999 --> 00:07:21,992 I'm here. 145 00:07:21,998 --> 00:07:25,774 Inside that drawer should be a file called serial number. 146 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,037 I've got it! 147 00:07:34,771 --> 00:07:37,371 All right. Now you just have to print that file out. 148 00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:42,257 You can do that by dragging it to the accessories and peripherals castle, 149 00:07:42,271 --> 00:07:44,628 and planting it in the printer garden. 150 00:07:46,362 --> 00:07:47,569 What's so funny? 151 00:07:47,575 --> 00:07:49,296 I mean, besides everything? 152 00:07:49,309 --> 00:07:52,652 I have no intention of returning this system. 153 00:07:52,672 --> 00:07:57,587 On the contrary, I intend to keep it. 154 00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:58,962 Dear God. 155 00:08:00,976 --> 00:08:02,063 Delete! 156 00:08:02,889 --> 00:08:05,216 One file selected. 157 00:08:05,228 --> 00:08:07,023 Oh. Hold on. 158 00:08:10,864 --> 00:08:12,251 File sorted. 159 00:08:12,263 --> 00:08:14,063 What? Oh, come on. 160 00:08:14,534 --> 00:08:16,517 Yeah. Come here you little. 161 00:08:30,408 --> 00:08:32,757 File deleted. 162 00:08:32,770 --> 00:08:34,920 Jesus wept! 163 00:08:35,255 --> 00:08:37,602 He deleted the serial number, Jeff, help me out here. 164 00:08:37,615 --> 00:08:39,215 I don't get paid enough for this. 165 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:40,664 How much do you think you're going to get paid 166 00:08:40,689 --> 00:08:42,689 if I have to find five grand in the budget? 167 00:08:44,823 --> 00:08:46,279 You're not the new Annie. 168 00:08:47,070 --> 00:08:48,290 You're the new Abed. 169 00:08:48,303 --> 00:08:49,692 I don't know what that means yet. 170 00:08:51,569 --> 00:08:55,044 So are the gremlins supposed to be the good guys in this version? 171 00:08:55,064 --> 00:08:55,864 The blue ones are. 172 00:08:55,877 --> 00:08:58,346 The green ones are bad and the red ones are kind of like isolationists. 173 00:08:58,359 --> 00:09:00,554 - It's a metaphor for World War II. - Ooh. 174 00:09:00,567 --> 00:09:03,507 Um, I will be right back, I left something in my car. 175 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,293 Oh. 176 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,959 Hi, yes, I picked up a sofa from your store, recently. 177 00:09:12,978 --> 00:09:15,156 The last name is Perry. 178 00:09:15,648 --> 00:09:17,154 Mm-hm. 179 00:09:19,472 --> 00:09:20,888 What? 180 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,875 - Are you strong or angry? - My parents? 181 00:09:26,881 --> 00:09:29,614 My parents bought that couch? 182 00:09:29,626 --> 00:09:31,214 Explain yourselves! 183 00:09:31,234 --> 00:09:32,773 Well, are we, okay. 184 00:09:33,511 --> 00:09:37,320 They kind of reached out to us on Facebook. 185 00:09:37,331 --> 00:09:39,671 What? You know I don't talk to them. 186 00:09:39,684 --> 00:09:42,491 Well, yeah. That's why they talk to us. 187 00:09:42,504 --> 00:09:45,887 They knew you wouldn't let them help you, at least not directly. 188 00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:47,880 Oh my god. Oh my god. 189 00:09:47,899 --> 00:09:50,563 You needed our help, but we needed their help to help you. 190 00:09:50,576 --> 00:09:52,316 That's why we were able to get you such a good deal on the rent. 191 00:09:52,329 --> 00:09:55,378 - They're supplementing my rent too? - Mm-hm. 192 00:09:55,384 --> 00:09:59,180 You make them sound like monsters, but they're actually really nice. 193 00:10:08,347 --> 00:10:09,467 Well, they are! 194 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,397 My parents are horrible people. 195 00:10:11,417 --> 00:10:13,218 - You're being dramatic. - Oh yeah. 196 00:10:13,243 --> 00:10:16,398 That's what people say when they take your soul, 197 00:10:16,423 --> 00:10:21,335 and they rip it out of your chest and then shove it in your mouth. 198 00:10:27,718 --> 00:10:29,219 I got bit by a cat. 199 00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:36,254 I will create more worlds. 200 00:10:36,272 --> 00:10:39,308 And those worlds will have worlds. 201 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,159 They're file folders, stop calling them worlds. 202 00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,685 I found an address. 203 00:10:43,699 --> 00:10:47,968 Elroy Patashnik, founder of Virtu Good technologies. 204 00:10:47,988 --> 00:10:50,946 All right. I'll go see if I can get the school's money back. 205 00:10:50,958 --> 00:10:53,578 You keep White Morpheus inside the Matrix. 206 00:10:56,251 --> 00:10:58,560 - Jeff. - Britta. You look distraught. 207 00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:01,305 You have ten seconds to tell me it's not about stupid politics. 208 00:11:01,311 --> 00:11:04,824 I just found out that Annie and Abed have been cheating on me with my parents. 209 00:11:04,837 --> 00:11:06,891 They've been sabotaging my life from the shadows 210 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,129 by paying off my debts and buying me things. 211 00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,742 - Thank God. - What are you? 212 00:11:10,748 --> 00:11:13,255 - Thank God? - The charade can finally end. 213 00:11:13,267 --> 00:11:15,323 Now you know everything you thought you owed us, 214 00:11:15,337 --> 00:11:17,124 you can actually just owe to Deb and George. 215 00:11:17,137 --> 00:11:18,331 Deb and George? 216 00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,624 You know my parents too? 217 00:11:20,637 --> 00:11:21,524 Since when? 218 00:11:21,537 --> 00:11:24,081 I don't know, since thousands of dollars ago? 219 00:11:24,087 --> 00:11:28,027 I'm bad with dates. I remember the New Year's glasses having zeros for eyes. 220 00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:29,487 And when did Stella get her groove back? 221 00:11:29,493 --> 00:11:31,805 You've all been lying to me for years. 222 00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:34,212 - What kind of friends are you? - Poor. 223 00:11:34,237 --> 00:11:35,591 We're poor friends. 224 00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:39,014 And you mooch off us because you're too proud to use your own support system. 225 00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:41,027 What kind of friend are you? 226 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:44,019 And having met them, what were you rebelling against? 227 00:11:44,032 --> 00:11:46,765 Was it generosity, whimsical game nights, 228 00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:49,217 or delicious lobster bacon mashed potatoes? 229 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:50,797 You ate the potatoes? 230 00:11:50,809 --> 00:11:53,710 - You-You don't even eat carbs. - I eat love, Britta. 231 00:11:53,724 --> 00:11:57,110 Hot, delicious love that you were willing to wipe your ass with. 232 00:11:57,123 --> 00:11:58,328 Oh, my God. 233 00:11:59,208 --> 00:12:01,141 I have no friends. 234 00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:02,634 Can we not be so dramatic about this? 235 00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:05,624 There are people in this world with serious problems. 236 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,997 Chang, go see the nurse! 237 00:12:11,458 --> 00:12:12,748 I'm trying. 238 00:12:25,074 --> 00:12:26,721 - Yeah? - Elroy Patashnik? 239 00:12:26,741 --> 00:12:28,854 - Who's asking? - Well, that's always a yes. 240 00:12:28,867 --> 00:12:30,663 Nobody ever says, who's asking, to the wrong name. 241 00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:32,623 They just say, that's not my name. 242 00:12:32,636 --> 00:12:35,479 When my phone rings and I say hello, and they say, is Pablo there? 243 00:12:35,491 --> 00:12:38,555 I don't say, who's asking, I say, wrong number. 244 00:12:38,561 --> 00:12:40,022 You're a clever young man. 245 00:12:40,028 --> 00:12:42,109 - I'm 40. - Come in. 246 00:12:45,128 --> 00:12:46,381 So? 247 00:12:46,394 --> 00:12:49,570 You sold a Virtu Good 6500 to Craig Pelton 248 00:12:49,595 --> 00:12:53,324 at Greendale Community College, and we need to return it. 249 00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:54,604 I'll need the serial number. 250 00:12:54,623 --> 00:12:57,511 He deleted the serial number because he loves the system. 251 00:12:57,999 --> 00:12:58,966 So what's the problem? 252 00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,854 The problem is in order to copy a file, 253 00:13:00,872 --> 00:13:02,273 you have to throw a fireball at it, 254 00:13:02,278 --> 00:13:05,913 then absorb the fire, then drop the flaming file into a crystal lake, 255 00:13:05,919 --> 00:13:08,559 then take out both copies and throw them into the side of a mountain. 256 00:13:08,572 --> 00:13:10,051 Worlds within worlds. 257 00:13:10,632 --> 00:13:11,845 That doesn't mean anything. 258 00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:14,160 I can copy a file by holding my finger down on a phone. 259 00:13:14,173 --> 00:13:15,636 Well, so can a monkey. 260 00:13:16,049 --> 00:13:18,069 Now, you're describing a system for animals. 261 00:13:18,540 --> 00:13:21,850 Terrestrial slobs bound to the earth by their meaty feet. 262 00:13:22,329 --> 00:13:24,102 I designed a system for gods. 263 00:13:24,122 --> 00:13:25,696 Oh, come on. 264 00:13:25,709 --> 00:13:27,062 You know what you've done. 265 00:13:27,079 --> 00:13:29,292 You know how lame virtual reality is. 266 00:13:29,305 --> 00:13:32,010 You know the damage it caused mid-90s cinema. 267 00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:34,330 I mean, Michael Douglas walking around like a jackass, 268 00:13:34,337 --> 00:13:36,390 moving files with a magic glove? 269 00:13:36,397 --> 00:13:38,804 Lawnmower Man? Did you see Lawnmower Man? 270 00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:41,192 You bet your sweet ass I saw Lawnmower Man. 271 00:13:41,205 --> 00:13:42,312 I consulted on it. 272 00:13:42,325 --> 00:13:43,872 Took Brigitte Nielsen to the premiere. 273 00:13:43,878 --> 00:13:45,553 We were building worlds within worlds. 274 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:48,734 And now you're living in homes within campers within parking lots, 275 00:13:48,759 --> 00:13:52,846 and using an iPad to clearly design what looks like a ripoff of Angry Birds. 276 00:13:52,859 --> 00:13:53,913 Get out. 277 00:13:54,856 --> 00:13:55,757 Get out of my Winnebago! 278 00:13:55,769 --> 00:13:58,738 You're not allowed to say that like it's a punishment. 279 00:13:58,763 --> 00:14:01,935 I know what it's like to lie for a living, Elroy! 280 00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:04,434 And you should know, it feels better to stop. 281 00:14:06,278 --> 00:14:08,137 And my feet aren't meaty! 282 00:14:21,460 --> 00:14:24,295 - Britta, honey. - An unexpected treat. 283 00:14:24,308 --> 00:14:27,562 This is a check for all the dirty money you have used to control 284 00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,442 and monitor me without my consent. 285 00:14:29,462 --> 00:14:31,395 - But we're not gonna cash this. - Well you can't. 286 00:14:31,415 --> 00:14:32,755 I postdated it a year. 287 00:14:32,774 --> 00:14:35,117 And in that year, I'm gonna get a new job, 288 00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:39,731 new friends, in a new city where you and your spies can never find me. 289 00:14:39,744 --> 00:14:42,198 Oh, please. Don't do this. 290 00:14:42,218 --> 00:14:43,945 What choice do you leave me? 291 00:14:43,958 --> 00:14:47,676 Who acts this dishonestly towards their own daughter? 292 00:14:47,695 --> 00:14:50,118 What choice do you leave us? 293 00:14:50,131 --> 00:14:52,880 I mean, every time we get too close, you run off. 294 00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,255 We sent you a birthday card to your apartment in New York, 295 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,766 and then next week you're setting fire to a Jamba Juice in San Jose. 296 00:14:58,772 --> 00:15:00,395 How long is that gonna stick with me? 297 00:15:00,408 --> 00:15:03,480 Until arson is legal, sweetie, but your father's point is, 298 00:15:03,492 --> 00:15:06,683 we've arrived at the closest relationship you can tolerate. 299 00:15:06,703 --> 00:15:09,996 - Mm-hm. - We've learned, after a decade, 300 00:15:10,021 --> 00:15:14,388 how to love and admire and finance you from afar, 301 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,766 through your friends, and the social media. 302 00:15:16,779 --> 00:15:18,586 The Tinder and the like. 303 00:15:18,599 --> 00:15:21,999 - It's called Tumblr, dad. - No, I mean Tinder. 304 00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:26,176 It's a matchmaking app, and by the way, if you were on Tinder— 305 00:15:26,189 --> 00:15:28,424 Your mom and I think you'd be the prettiest. 306 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,909 Absolutely, the boys would be swiping right. 307 00:15:31,916 --> 00:15:32,912 Or girls! 308 00:15:32,930 --> 00:15:34,364 - Yes! - Whatever makes you happy. 309 00:15:34,370 --> 00:15:35,464 Totally. 310 00:15:35,471 --> 00:15:37,880 What has happened to you two? 311 00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:41,689 Who are these doddering open-minded geezers? 312 00:15:41,695 --> 00:15:45,027 Where are the people who wouldn't let me dress up like Prince for Halloween? 313 00:15:45,034 --> 00:15:49,037 Or told me that the cat ran away because I tried alcohol? 314 00:15:49,057 --> 00:15:52,536 Or had me drug tested when I was 11 315 00:15:52,561 --> 00:15:55,588 because they said I was laughing too much? 316 00:15:55,607 --> 00:15:59,391 We are definitely sorry about all of that stuff. 317 00:15:59,404 --> 00:16:02,798 Quite frankly, we don't remember that stuff. 318 00:16:02,804 --> 00:16:03,711 Oh, it's true. 319 00:16:05,161 --> 00:16:06,542 - Woodstock, oh! - Oh, my god. 320 00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:08,540 I remember Woodstock! 321 00:16:08,546 --> 00:16:14,244 Woodstock was amazing but-but you have to realize, Britta, 322 00:16:14,269 --> 00:16:18,675 that your Woodstock, which was us being bad parents, 323 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,440 that has more to do with you. 324 00:16:20,453 --> 00:16:22,829 So that's what you remember, see? 325 00:16:22,842 --> 00:16:24,087 Mm-hm. 326 00:16:25,572 --> 00:16:26,900 Where are they? 327 00:16:27,369 --> 00:16:28,079 - Hm. - I'm sorry. 328 00:16:28,098 --> 00:16:30,411 Get out here! 329 00:16:31,479 --> 00:16:33,792 Britta, let me explain. 330 00:16:33,804 --> 00:16:36,839 We were worried about you, so 331 00:16:36,864 --> 00:16:41,448 - we just came over. - You can explain to each other in hell. 332 00:16:41,461 --> 00:16:45,116 Friends don't visit each other's parents. 333 00:16:45,122 --> 00:16:49,497 I hope you have a wonderful life. 334 00:16:57,109 --> 00:16:58,205 Oh. 335 00:16:59,753 --> 00:17:00,906 George, George, yes. 336 00:17:00,912 --> 00:17:03,449 Britta, at least take some money and fix your car! 337 00:17:03,462 --> 00:17:06,843 Or at least get a cab, or there are apps we can call where strangers pick you up. 338 00:17:06,849 --> 00:17:08,609 I don't want your help. 339 00:17:08,623 --> 00:17:10,832 Stop infantilizing me! 340 00:17:10,837 --> 00:17:12,911 Hey, stop. Stop! 341 00:17:12,922 --> 00:17:15,443 - Get out of here. - Hey! 342 00:17:19,394 --> 00:17:20,854 Green Machine, nice. 343 00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:23,197 Here, Greg, here, take some cash. 344 00:17:23,703 --> 00:17:25,116 Holy crap! 345 00:17:25,682 --> 00:17:27,395 What's her problem? 346 00:17:27,862 --> 00:17:29,747 She's growing up. 347 00:17:39,651 --> 00:17:41,359 Oh my god. 348 00:17:41,384 --> 00:17:44,161 I put a tilde on this n! 349 00:17:44,167 --> 00:17:47,532 I can do anything. 350 00:17:49,893 --> 00:17:51,113 Any luck? 351 00:17:51,984 --> 00:17:53,710 Ugh, 352 00:17:53,735 --> 00:17:55,108 I'm going home. 353 00:17:55,774 --> 00:17:59,965 Oh, and to warn you, he joked about wanting a pee jar earlier 354 00:17:59,990 --> 00:18:02,705 and it's gradually becoming less of a joke. 355 00:18:04,468 --> 00:18:05,888 Hey, Dean. 356 00:18:05,901 --> 00:18:08,075 I'm coming over and I'm pulling you out of there. 357 00:18:08,081 --> 00:18:09,374 - I'll bite you. - I'll beat you up. 358 00:18:09,393 --> 00:18:12,184 I'll like it and then I'll fire you and then I'll get right back in it. 359 00:18:12,197 --> 00:18:15,095 - I'll still get to beat you up. - Hold it. Hold it. 360 00:18:16,616 --> 00:18:17,430 Who is that? 361 00:18:17,455 --> 00:18:18,875 I recognize that baritone voice 362 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,322 and the scent of Tic Tacs with a tinge of Naugahyde. 363 00:18:21,335 --> 00:18:23,573 It's Elroy Patashnik. 364 00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:25,971 The architect. 365 00:18:25,977 --> 00:18:29,146 Listen, I've come to tell you something very important about this system. 366 00:18:31,493 --> 00:18:33,380 It's lame. 367 00:18:33,393 --> 00:18:34,502 What? 368 00:18:34,984 --> 00:18:39,211 I wasted your time with it and 10 crucial years of America's time. 369 00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:42,128 - I'm giving Mr. Winger your refund. - I don't want a refund. 370 00:18:42,141 --> 00:18:44,512 I wanna stay in here forever 371 00:18:44,537 --> 00:18:47,910 and you can't stop me. 372 00:18:47,929 --> 00:18:49,570 Die. 373 00:18:53,730 --> 00:18:55,710 How long has he been in there? 374 00:18:55,716 --> 00:18:57,023 Four hours. 375 00:18:57,035 --> 00:18:58,896 Oh, 376 00:18:58,921 --> 00:19:00,274 I was thinking weeks. 377 00:19:00,287 --> 00:19:02,176 Ha. Yep! 378 00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,165 This guy runs your school? 379 00:19:09,361 --> 00:19:12,317 To use a phrase I coined in the 90s, 380 00:19:13,410 --> 00:19:15,043 I'm going in. 381 00:19:15,050 --> 00:19:18,919 - You coined that? - Oh yeah, lock and load. 382 00:19:20,233 --> 00:19:21,675 That's mine too. 383 00:19:22,372 --> 00:19:23,712 All right. 384 00:19:28,153 --> 00:19:29,960 - I'm awake. - Aah! 385 00:19:29,973 --> 00:19:33,326 - Oh my God! - I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. 386 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,027 What are you doing in my car? 387 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:36,987 I didn't have anywhere else to go. 388 00:19:37,575 --> 00:19:39,855 No where else but my car? 389 00:19:40,660 --> 00:19:43,560 Do you know how big the planet is? 390 00:19:46,980 --> 00:19:49,726 What is going on, Britta? 391 00:19:50,408 --> 00:19:53,663 My friends, they all think my parents are adorable, 392 00:19:53,676 --> 00:19:55,518 and they think that I'm the bad guy for hating them, 393 00:19:55,543 --> 00:19:58,330 but I have a right to hate them, cuz I had to be there when they sucked. 394 00:19:58,337 --> 00:19:59,463 Yeah. 395 00:19:59,793 --> 00:20:01,769 Jimmy Fallon syndrome. I get it. 396 00:20:02,196 --> 00:20:03,843 I had that with my parents, too. 397 00:20:03,862 --> 00:20:05,576 - You did? - Yeah. 398 00:20:06,219 --> 00:20:10,978 You know, one of the most unfair lessons we're forced to learn 399 00:20:10,993 --> 00:20:13,552 is that our parents are human beings. 400 00:20:13,566 --> 00:20:16,379 We wanna think of them as gods or demons, 401 00:20:16,404 --> 00:20:17,917 because then that would make us heroes. 402 00:20:17,937 --> 00:20:20,233 But give me a break. 403 00:20:20,246 --> 00:20:21,739 We all suck. 404 00:20:23,039 --> 00:20:25,320 What can I do to help you tonight, Britta? 405 00:20:28,017 --> 00:20:30,480 How many quarters were in this cup holder? 406 00:20:31,595 --> 00:20:32,853 The same amount. 407 00:20:33,715 --> 00:20:35,635 Oh, yeah. 408 00:20:35,655 --> 00:20:37,482 Calibrated. Welcome. 409 00:20:37,502 --> 00:20:39,373 No, go away! 410 00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:41,967 Preferences grow. 411 00:20:44,281 --> 00:20:48,334 What are you doing? No, no, no. 412 00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:49,374 Let go of me. 413 00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:52,431 Do you really want the power of a god? 414 00:20:52,450 --> 00:20:54,493 Yes, more than anything. 415 00:20:54,513 --> 00:20:57,752 Should I order dinner, cuz a lot of good delivery places are closing? 416 00:20:57,758 --> 00:20:58,925 I know how you feel. 417 00:20:58,945 --> 00:21:03,023 The sadder reality, the less real we want it. 418 00:21:03,036 --> 00:21:05,092 I just wanna be a good dean. 419 00:21:05,098 --> 00:21:08,295 I can give you a device that will accomplish that. 420 00:21:08,308 --> 00:21:09,628 Oh! 421 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:13,069 You can use this to manipulate worlds. 422 00:21:13,082 --> 00:21:15,174 - Flick of a wrist. - Ha! 423 00:21:17,649 --> 00:21:21,505 My god, it's incredible! 424 00:21:21,530 --> 00:21:22,787 Now! 425 00:21:25,045 --> 00:21:28,197 What's happening. No! Ow. I wanna go back in. 426 00:21:28,217 --> 00:21:29,964 I want to be back in there. 427 00:21:29,976 --> 00:21:33,410 - I want to be— - Here. Here. Here's your power. 428 00:21:33,913 --> 00:21:34,905 Yeah. 429 00:21:34,918 --> 00:21:38,154 Now, manipulate worlds. 430 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:40,500 Yeah. 431 00:21:41,717 --> 00:21:43,997 He'll be back to his old self in an hour. 432 00:21:44,017 --> 00:21:47,018 Great, do you have a way to fix that? 433 00:21:56,259 --> 00:21:58,172 - Seriously, though, thank you. - Mm hm. 434 00:22:03,576 --> 00:22:05,443 Britta, we were so worried. 435 00:22:05,456 --> 00:22:07,350 - What happened to the kid's Green Machine? - What? 436 00:22:07,370 --> 00:22:10,162 - I, I don't know. I ditched it. - Where and how long ago? 437 00:22:10,175 --> 00:22:12,129 Okay, assume that's not what's important here. 438 00:22:12,135 --> 00:22:13,997 - Britta, we— - It's okay, Dad. 439 00:22:14,010 --> 00:22:16,006 I have something that I wanna say. 440 00:22:16,026 --> 00:22:19,732 I ran away from home at 17 to become an adult, 441 00:22:19,757 --> 00:22:23,913 but maybe all that did was leave a part of me stuck at 17, 442 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:27,690 the part that tends to run away when I am confronted with the truth. 443 00:22:27,695 --> 00:22:30,352 - The truth is good, Britta. - Mom, shut up! 444 00:22:30,358 --> 00:22:32,228 Frankie taught me something important. 445 00:22:32,241 --> 00:22:36,191 It doesn't matter how mature we are or what resentments we carry. 446 00:22:36,203 --> 00:22:39,956 All that matters is that we're all going to die. 447 00:22:42,565 --> 00:22:46,806 - You have a lovely home. - Thank you. 448 00:22:46,819 --> 00:22:49,628 So, we're really getting our daughter back? 449 00:22:49,634 --> 00:22:51,251 Yeah, but it's not gonna be that big of a deal. 450 00:22:51,256 --> 00:22:52,518 I mean, you guys missed the good years. 451 00:22:52,537 --> 00:22:54,660 Now, it's just gonna be margaritas, Pottery Barn, 452 00:22:54,673 --> 00:22:58,405 fighting our family's tendency toward obesity as we slide into oblivion. 453 00:22:58,419 --> 00:23:00,966 First you guys, and then me quickly thereafter. 454 00:23:00,978 --> 00:23:02,932 Well, I'll drink to that. 455 00:23:04,958 --> 00:23:07,670 Oh, Abed. 456 00:23:08,758 --> 00:23:10,398 Benjamin. 457 00:23:10,417 --> 00:23:12,291 I got bit by a cat, Deb. 458 00:23:12,310 --> 00:23:13,835 No! 459 00:23:14,639 --> 00:23:16,801 I'll get the antibiotics. 460 00:23:18,414 --> 00:23:20,768 Thank you for the refund, Elroy. 461 00:23:20,780 --> 00:23:22,920 No, thank you 462 00:23:23,313 --> 00:23:26,720 for one last taste of what it was like when my work was valuable. 463 00:23:26,726 --> 00:23:28,799 Oh, it's still valuable. 464 00:23:28,814 --> 00:23:34,251 Here, $500 for the taste I got of being powerful. 465 00:23:37,572 --> 00:23:41,368 - Dean, the school can't afford 500— - Wait for it. 466 00:23:43,625 --> 00:23:46,248 I have no idea what to do with the rest of my life now. 467 00:23:46,261 --> 00:23:49,117 We offer a wide variety of classes. 468 00:23:52,412 --> 00:23:55,433 And that, my friend, is the Greendale effect. 469 00:23:58,010 --> 00:24:00,277 I'll never get out of here, will I? 470 00:24:00,297 --> 00:24:02,084 I haven't met many that do. 471 00:24:04,133 --> 00:24:06,180 Let's walk arm in arm. 472 00:24:06,198 --> 00:24:10,598 There are times when change needs to be different, 473 00:24:10,604 --> 00:24:13,999 then there's changes that are more the same. 474 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,828 But the same changes don't tend to be different 475 00:24:16,853 --> 00:24:19,031 than the changes that came before. 476 00:24:19,807 --> 00:24:21,887 If you change everything that's different, 477 00:24:21,894 --> 00:24:26,038 sometimes you find out everything's still the same. 478 00:24:26,634 --> 00:24:30,682 As for me, I'm just changing 479 00:24:31,420 --> 00:24:34,032 everything that's different. 480 00:24:36,128 --> 00:24:37,639 Change. 481 00:26:13,410 --> 00:26:23,410 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for FiHTV WEB-DL by Rapunzel