1 00:00:04,043 --> 00:00:06,279 Welcome back to Greendale, 2 00:00:06,298 --> 00:00:08,682 now ranking fifth on Colorado's 3 00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:11,827 alphabetical listing of community colleges. 4 00:00:11,834 --> 00:00:15,158 Rest in peace, Bad Boy Slim's DJ School. 5 00:00:15,164 --> 00:00:19,451 This school owes its continued existence to the following heroes. 6 00:00:19,464 --> 00:00:23,295 Jeff Winger, a teacher so dedicated to clean energy, 7 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:26,480 he's already parking like his car is electric. 8 00:00:26,486 --> 00:00:30,420 Britta Perry, currently raising awareness of homelessness, 9 00:00:30,434 --> 00:00:32,245 not that she has a choice. 10 00:00:32,252 --> 00:00:35,503 Abed Nadir, who actually wrote this announcement for the sake of, 11 00:00:35,516 --> 00:00:37,764 as he put it, catching everyone up. 12 00:00:37,777 --> 00:00:44,951 And Annie Edison who led the effort to save Greendale from 534 critical emergencies. 13 00:00:46,970 --> 00:00:48,710 534? 14 00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:13,007 Frisbee! 15 00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:37,826 Hey Leonard, what, are you gonna Bogart the disc all day? 16 00:01:58,593 --> 00:02:00,673 Like 17 00:02:00,698 --> 00:02:03,569 tears in rain. 18 00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:05,981 What? 19 00:02:27,208 --> 00:02:34,508 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for FiHTV WEB-DL by Rapunzel 20 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,988 I can't believe the roof collapsed. 21 00:02:39,013 --> 00:02:41,307 - We almost killed Fat Neil. - That was Garrett. 22 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,889 See, we're monsters. 23 00:02:42,895 --> 00:02:45,155 Okay, if they blame us for this, let me take the heat. 24 00:02:45,161 --> 00:02:47,208 I'd never see the inside of a cell. 25 00:02:47,221 --> 00:02:50,786 I have been reliving this day over and over for a thousand years. 26 00:02:52,721 --> 00:02:54,041 Guys, this is not on us. 27 00:02:54,061 --> 00:02:57,816 That roof was gonna collapse, 80% of the rubble was styrofoam. 28 00:02:57,836 --> 00:03:00,007 Speaking of guilt, where's Shirley? 29 00:03:00,545 --> 00:03:01,914 You didn't tell him? 30 00:03:01,935 --> 00:03:03,729 I was waiting until we were all together. 31 00:03:03,735 --> 00:03:06,283 Abed's not comfortable with C-H-A-N-G-E. 32 00:03:06,295 --> 00:03:08,425 Hey, screw you. I can spell. 33 00:03:08,856 --> 00:03:10,629 Screw you. 34 00:03:10,642 --> 00:03:12,155 Is Shirley gone? Did she spin off? 35 00:03:12,161 --> 00:03:15,212 Nobody spins off in real life, Abed. 36 00:03:15,231 --> 00:03:17,726 Shirley went to look after her dad in Atlanta 37 00:03:17,751 --> 00:03:20,617 and ended up taking a job as a personal chef to a brilliant, 38 00:03:20,628 --> 00:03:22,422 but troubled Southern detective. 39 00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:24,799 I told her I'd manage her sandwich shop while she's gone. 40 00:03:24,811 --> 00:03:26,159 Oh, that's very generous of you. 41 00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:29,131 I have a friend in town, every time you're gonna need help with that. 42 00:03:29,145 --> 00:03:31,352 - She'll be back. - Like Troy? 43 00:03:31,358 --> 00:03:34,895 Are any of you white people noticing what's happening to this group? 44 00:03:34,907 --> 00:03:36,808 Do Abed and I need to be concerned? 45 00:03:36,821 --> 00:03:40,403 You have my word, as leader of the white people there's no cause for alarm. 46 00:03:40,416 --> 00:03:43,177 Say hello to new Shirley. 47 00:03:43,793 --> 00:03:46,559 Just kidding. This is Francesca Dart. 48 00:03:46,566 --> 00:03:49,178 I have brought her on as an administrative consultant. 49 00:03:49,193 --> 00:03:51,135 I thought it would be fun, 50 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:54,600 and mandatory for you to add her to your little committee. 51 00:03:54,619 --> 00:03:56,620 Why, because one roof collapsed? 52 00:03:56,633 --> 00:03:58,647 No, God, God no. 53 00:03:58,659 --> 00:04:01,353 I'm your friend bringing you a new friend, 54 00:04:01,365 --> 00:04:04,413 one with training in not collapsing roofs. 55 00:04:04,419 --> 00:04:10,218 Is she, excuse me, ma'am. Is she above us or below us? 56 00:04:10,673 --> 00:04:12,006 She is, woop! 57 00:04:13,358 --> 00:04:16,834 I'm getting a call, here, and I'll have to take it. 58 00:04:16,853 --> 00:04:19,413 Frankie, why don't you explain what your role will be, 59 00:04:19,419 --> 00:04:21,657 while I leave to take this call. 60 00:04:22,057 --> 00:04:24,430 My phone is vibrating, but it is... 61 00:04:24,455 --> 00:04:26,875 In your office, which you didn't realize, 62 00:04:26,881 --> 00:04:28,876 when you started the fake phone call move. 63 00:04:28,882 --> 00:04:31,656 - My phone is in my pocket, Jeffrey. - Mm. 64 00:04:31,668 --> 00:04:35,450 I'm walking away, so I can get it out and answer it. 65 00:04:35,456 --> 00:04:37,136 Let me know how it goes. 66 00:04:37,976 --> 00:04:39,824 Okay, I'll just have a seat and— 67 00:04:39,839 --> 00:04:42,312 - No! - Hey! - No! No, no, no! 68 00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:43,995 Our friend use to sit there. 69 00:04:44,008 --> 00:04:45,391 She spun off. 70 00:04:46,112 --> 00:04:48,561 I'm sorry, what about here? 71 00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:50,421 - Yeah, I guess that's okay. - That's cool. 72 00:04:51,084 --> 00:04:52,587 Okay, so, 73 00:04:52,612 --> 00:04:57,448 I took an informal survey to get a sense of how Greendale is perceived. 74 00:04:57,455 --> 00:04:59,895 And three themes emerged; 75 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,693 Weird, passionate and gross. 76 00:05:02,706 --> 00:05:04,964 Now you want to hang onto that grouping. 77 00:05:04,978 --> 00:05:08,552 In marketing, it's what we call the Good Belushi. 78 00:05:08,564 --> 00:05:09,834 If I had a magic wand, 79 00:05:09,846 --> 00:05:12,688 I would use it to make sure Greendale never had to grow up. 80 00:05:12,701 --> 00:05:15,709 I would also probably use it to cut the Magic Wand class 81 00:05:15,734 --> 00:05:18,067 that I noticed is actually offered here, 82 00:05:18,092 --> 00:05:21,819 as well as VCR Repair, a class called Ladders, 83 00:05:21,823 --> 00:05:24,224 and When is it Okay to Shake a Baby? 84 00:05:24,237 --> 00:05:27,261 In terms of hierarchy, I'm a big believer in it. 85 00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:30,934 Someone needs to say, I'm in charge, and that person is me. 86 00:05:30,947 --> 00:05:31,898 That's my decision. 87 00:05:31,904 --> 00:05:35,345 That doesn't mean that we don't work together, 88 00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:38,512 but all communication and decisions will go through me. 89 00:05:38,518 --> 00:05:41,629 I'll send out an email later to set up our next meeting. 90 00:05:41,635 --> 00:05:43,588 - Awesome. - Okay. - Great seeing you, Professor. 91 00:05:43,595 --> 00:05:45,686 Yeah. Coolios. 92 00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:48,188 - Who in the crazy bitch? - Did that just happen? 93 00:05:48,201 --> 00:05:49,622 Did you see her binder? 94 00:05:51,579 --> 00:05:53,659 - Pretty nondescript. - Seems like she may be trouble. 95 00:05:53,671 --> 00:05:56,282 To be fair, she's an additional white person, 96 00:05:56,307 --> 00:05:58,014 which has clearly become important here. 97 00:05:58,026 --> 00:05:59,940 No, thank you. 98 00:05:59,947 --> 00:06:02,394 I-I'm just glad I was able to answer. 99 00:06:02,406 --> 00:06:05,509 My-My phone got lodged in my pocket. 100 00:06:05,522 --> 00:06:06,801 I know! 101 00:06:06,808 --> 00:06:08,121 I guess that is a thing. 102 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,766 So, you were saying about the thing, 103 00:06:10,791 --> 00:06:13,712 the reason you were calling was, what were you talking to me about? 104 00:06:14,622 --> 00:06:16,371 Looks good, Tony. 105 00:06:16,377 --> 00:06:18,834 I'm sorry, I just assume your name is Tony. 106 00:06:19,402 --> 00:06:20,438 Here you go. 107 00:06:20,451 --> 00:06:23,046 I gave you some extra heat. 108 00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:29,711 Britta, what is the weekly cost of this restaurant? 109 00:06:29,718 --> 00:06:31,438 Oh, that's easy. My dignity. 110 00:06:31,444 --> 00:06:34,625 Seems like this sandwich counter is consuming your happiness 111 00:06:34,650 --> 00:06:38,053 and converting it into burnt bread and debt. 112 00:06:39,787 --> 00:06:40,894 So? 113 00:06:40,906 --> 00:06:42,033 Frankie, hi. 114 00:06:42,043 --> 00:06:43,710 Um... 115 00:06:43,724 --> 00:06:46,211 someone removed all the liquor from the faculty lounge. 116 00:06:46,230 --> 00:06:50,229 I'm sorry, I cannot legally protect or insure a campus 117 00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:51,676 with free flowing booze. 118 00:06:51,695 --> 00:06:54,709 Well, I can't teach with free flowing sobriety. 119 00:06:55,145 --> 00:06:56,806 Is that true? 120 00:06:57,621 --> 00:06:59,712 Do you really think you're an addict? 121 00:07:00,199 --> 00:07:01,566 No. 122 00:07:04,237 --> 00:07:05,634 Dean! 123 00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:09,058 Hello? Oh, oh, hey! 124 00:07:09,077 --> 00:07:10,517 - Yes, I can talk. - Damn it. 125 00:07:10,523 --> 00:07:12,806 I am available anytime for you. 126 00:07:12,819 --> 00:07:14,132 Frankie, Frankie. 127 00:07:14,139 --> 00:07:16,886 Hi. I had an idea about how to deelectrify the pool. 128 00:07:16,892 --> 00:07:18,809 Oh, that's already been dealt with. 129 00:07:18,822 --> 00:07:22,260 - Okay, well, then, there's— - Oh, let's see. 130 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:25,363 Done, done, deloused. 131 00:07:25,369 --> 00:07:27,582 Appraised, defused, rebuilt. 132 00:07:27,595 --> 00:07:30,740 De-peanut buttered, debunked, spayed, neutered. 133 00:07:30,759 --> 00:07:35,252 Underway, resanctified, plunged, deported and exhumed. 134 00:07:35,272 --> 00:07:36,464 Thank you. 135 00:07:36,887 --> 00:07:39,047 Oh, this is pretty. 136 00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:39,914 Huh. 137 00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:42,404 I'm gonna name one of my sandwiches after her. 138 00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:44,095 My sandwiches suck. 139 00:07:44,101 --> 00:07:46,605 She is improving Greendale. 140 00:07:46,618 --> 00:07:49,517 Yeah, but how much can you improve Greendale 141 00:07:49,542 --> 00:07:52,260 before it stops being Greendale? 142 00:07:52,266 --> 00:07:54,546 She didn't suffer for this place. 143 00:07:54,559 --> 00:07:56,326 She doesn't understand it. 144 00:07:56,339 --> 00:07:58,615 She's gonna end up messing with something that— 145 00:07:59,468 --> 00:08:00,748 Abed. 146 00:08:00,762 --> 00:08:05,135 Temporal mutation in English, Doc. 147 00:08:08,198 --> 00:08:10,591 Simply put Mr. President, 148 00:08:10,597 --> 00:08:14,437 in 12 hours these dinosaurs will become— 149 00:08:15,677 --> 00:08:18,270 - Mind if I sit here? - Time-asaurs. 150 00:08:18,283 --> 00:08:20,404 Go ahead, I can reshoot. 151 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:23,503 How's everything going? 152 00:08:24,190 --> 00:08:26,437 - I have concerns. - I'd like to hear them. 153 00:08:26,449 --> 00:08:28,150 I'm worried you're not distinct enough from Annie, 154 00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:30,440 both in terms of physicality and purpose. 155 00:08:30,465 --> 00:08:31,436 Okay. 156 00:08:31,775 --> 00:08:33,895 I can't determine if you have any specific flaw, 157 00:08:33,908 --> 00:08:37,235 quirk, or point of view that makes you a creative addition to the group. 158 00:08:37,242 --> 00:08:39,967 I don't know what that means, but I'm writing it down. 159 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:41,586 My umbrella concern is that you, as a character, 160 00:08:41,599 --> 00:08:43,679 represent the end of what I used to call our show, 161 00:08:43,686 --> 00:08:45,909 which was once an unlikely family of misfit students, 162 00:08:45,934 --> 00:08:48,341 and is now a pretty loose knit group of students and teachers. 163 00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:51,160 None of whom are taking a class together in a school which, as of your arrival, 164 00:08:51,167 --> 00:08:53,443 is becoming increasingly grounded, asking questions like, 165 00:08:53,454 --> 00:08:54,974 how do any of us get our money? 166 00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:57,339 When will we get our degrees, and what happened to that girl I was dating? 167 00:08:57,352 --> 00:08:59,924 As opposed to questions I consider more important like, what is real? 168 00:08:59,937 --> 00:09:02,927 What is sanity? Is there a god? Where's that Pierce hologram? 169 00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:04,529 Jeff said last year he saw a Pierce hologram. 170 00:09:04,535 --> 00:09:07,129 None of the rest of us have ever seen it. So, if there's a Pierce ghost on campus, 171 00:09:07,142 --> 00:09:08,896 I'd like to get a head start on busting it. 172 00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:11,116 All right. 173 00:09:11,141 --> 00:09:13,550 This is the first I've heard that I'm a character on a show. 174 00:09:13,556 --> 00:09:16,411 I'm excited to be one, but I agree, I'll be a boring one. 175 00:09:16,424 --> 00:09:18,753 Quirks are not my strong suit, results are. 176 00:09:18,773 --> 00:09:19,780 I love quirky people. 177 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:23,393 I come from a big family of people who are literally insane. 178 00:09:23,407 --> 00:09:25,437 I moved down here to take care of one of them. 179 00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:28,179 But I myself am exceptionally boring, 180 00:09:28,204 --> 00:09:29,852 and I am quite proud to be that way, 181 00:09:29,865 --> 00:09:34,965 because it allows me to help the less boring people turn quirks into results. 182 00:09:35,828 --> 00:09:38,348 That's the most interesting take on not being interesting that I've ever heard. 183 00:09:38,361 --> 00:09:40,148 As far as what I represent about your show, 184 00:09:40,173 --> 00:09:42,820 I wouldn't give me or anyone else that kind of power. 185 00:09:42,826 --> 00:09:45,453 Good shows change, I assume. 186 00:09:45,466 --> 00:09:47,218 Personally, I don't own a TV. 187 00:09:47,231 --> 00:09:50,771 You're the first person to say that that I didn't immediately delete from my brain. 188 00:09:50,784 --> 00:09:51,790 Thank you. 189 00:09:54,023 --> 00:09:56,630 Emergency meeting at Shirley's Sandwiches right now. 190 00:09:56,636 --> 00:09:59,150 Everyone freaking out. New lady is evil. 191 00:09:59,858 --> 00:10:00,826 Crazy frown. 192 00:10:01,994 --> 00:10:03,232 I should go. 193 00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:07,502 Abed, I could really use someone's help in learning the ropes around here. 194 00:10:08,419 --> 00:10:10,001 I'll ask around. 195 00:10:11,938 --> 00:10:13,891 Friends, dumb hats. 196 00:10:13,897 --> 00:10:16,659 - Totally talking down to you. - She hates you. 197 00:10:16,672 --> 00:10:17,832 I got it from Jared. 198 00:10:17,838 --> 00:10:20,111 - What are you guys doing back here? Are you the big chilling? - Yeah, 199 00:10:20,124 --> 00:10:23,309 only there's not a hippie that died to make us come together and complain. 200 00:10:23,329 --> 00:10:25,367 - It's our school. - Frankie's taking over the campus. 201 00:10:25,373 --> 00:10:27,802 She cancelled Ladders, she's banning substances, 202 00:10:27,815 --> 00:10:29,857 she wants to shut down Shirley's sandwiches. 203 00:10:29,871 --> 00:10:32,375 - She called Annie a bitch. - She implied I was a bitch. 204 00:10:32,388 --> 00:10:35,454 She implied Annie was a stuck up bitch who thinks she's better than everyone. 205 00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:37,594 - Okay, now you're just— - She was nice to me. 206 00:10:37,607 --> 00:10:38,667 In fact we kinda got along. 207 00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:43,167 Abed, are you sure she wasn't actually being sweetly condescending? 208 00:10:43,187 --> 00:10:44,580 Yup, I learned to pick up on that one. 209 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:48,765 I make a movement that we form a separate, secret, committee. 210 00:10:48,771 --> 00:10:51,604 I second Britta's motion, not movement. 211 00:10:51,611 --> 00:10:55,036 I third Annie's number two-ing of the movement Britta made. 212 00:10:55,048 --> 00:10:57,755 - Gross. - Our mission to preserve the real Greendale. 213 00:10:57,774 --> 00:11:00,177 Oppose Frankie or drink. 214 00:11:00,183 --> 00:11:01,613 Whatever's easiest. 215 00:11:03,612 --> 00:11:05,125 Are you guys sure she's bad? 216 00:11:05,145 --> 00:11:07,540 Are you sure you're not doing what I usually do, overreacting to change? 217 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:09,846 Nobody's ever doing what you usually do Abed. You're nuts. 218 00:11:09,859 --> 00:11:10,572 Ugh. 219 00:11:10,585 --> 00:11:12,072 In a good way. I'm just saying. 220 00:11:12,078 --> 00:11:14,813 - Leave reality to us. - We always support you. 221 00:11:14,826 --> 00:11:16,400 Don't make it more dramatic than it is. 222 00:11:16,406 --> 00:11:19,608 It's a blood oath to defy evil. You're either in or you're out. 223 00:11:20,562 --> 00:11:21,822 Can I hang around if I don't do the oath. 224 00:11:21,829 --> 00:11:24,555 Oh, gee. You mean just be friends? 225 00:11:24,566 --> 00:11:26,417 Sure. Great, Abed. 226 00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,189 Okay. 227 00:11:30,810 --> 00:11:32,411 Can I have some pretzels? 228 00:11:36,085 --> 00:11:37,378 No. 229 00:11:37,388 --> 00:11:39,546 Those are secret committee pretzels. 230 00:11:41,729 --> 00:11:43,020 Okay. 231 00:11:43,596 --> 00:11:44,985 Well. 232 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,544 Yes, that was a test. 233 00:11:52,036 --> 00:11:53,637 You guys are bad friends. 234 00:11:58,473 --> 00:12:00,002 Don't think of it as bad baking. 235 00:12:00,008 --> 00:12:02,624 Think of it as a crushing blow to a gender stereotype. 236 00:12:07,010 --> 00:12:09,328 Britta, it might help if every burnt sandwich 237 00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:11,807 didn't come with a self-aware burnt sandwich bit. 238 00:12:11,826 --> 00:12:14,967 Is that how you're gonna help increase sales, creative notes? 239 00:12:14,974 --> 00:12:17,313 I had that sign spinner idea. 240 00:12:19,154 --> 00:12:23,493 We're a restaurant inside a cafeteria Annie, our weak point wasn't traffic. 241 00:12:23,506 --> 00:12:27,106 Flo, Alice, stop fighting, can't afford to lose this place. 242 00:12:27,118 --> 00:12:28,941 If I have to start drinking in the men's room, 243 00:12:28,966 --> 00:12:31,000 the score in my head has to change from Trent Reznor 244 00:12:31,025 --> 00:12:32,672 to Johnny Cash doing Trent Reznor. 245 00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:36,773 I'm a bartender Annie, I know a little bit more about the human side of service. 246 00:12:37,205 --> 00:12:39,245 I can't eat this. Can I have my money back? 247 00:12:39,258 --> 00:12:40,942 You're human garbage. 248 00:12:41,892 --> 00:12:44,287 Hi, Mr. Winger. Nice lecture yesterday. 249 00:12:44,300 --> 00:12:45,318 Don't patronize me Dave. 250 00:12:45,325 --> 00:12:49,373 It might not seem like this, but you're killing small, black owned business. 251 00:12:50,451 --> 00:12:53,118 I'll call it even for a drink with Mr. Winger. 252 00:12:54,694 --> 00:12:56,458 - That's absurd. - You will? 253 00:12:59,407 --> 00:13:01,260 Let's see some ID. You snitch, you die. 254 00:13:03,698 --> 00:13:05,122 - Morning. - Morning. 255 00:13:05,130 --> 00:13:06,178 Morning. 256 00:13:06,830 --> 00:13:09,777 Well I guess we'll wait for the others before we start. 257 00:13:09,783 --> 00:13:10,984 I don't think they're coming. 258 00:13:10,997 --> 00:13:14,585 What? The committee had a meeting last night and decided you are evil. 259 00:13:14,598 --> 00:13:17,968 Ooh. Wait, you guys had a meeting last night? 260 00:13:17,982 --> 00:13:19,928 So, we broke up as friends. 261 00:13:19,939 --> 00:13:21,647 Because I don't think you're evil. 262 00:13:21,659 --> 00:13:24,692 I think you scare people, because you live in the real world instead of up your butt. 263 00:13:24,698 --> 00:13:26,305 I'm sorry that happened, Abed. 264 00:13:26,325 --> 00:13:28,181 It's like I said yesterday at lunch. 265 00:13:28,194 --> 00:13:31,201 Drama and conflict are exciting and easy. 266 00:13:31,213 --> 00:13:33,067 Making a difference can be pretty boring. 267 00:13:33,087 --> 00:13:34,107 You guys had lunch? 268 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,624 I'd like to try to live in that world. 269 00:13:35,630 --> 00:13:38,534 I'm a little tired from all the drama, the heroes, the villains, monsters. 270 00:13:38,553 --> 00:13:39,422 Pokemons.. 271 00:13:39,447 --> 00:13:42,674 - You're just a person that sees things the way they are. - Leprechauns. Scary. 272 00:13:42,693 --> 00:13:44,500 I don't know if I can be like that but 273 00:13:44,513 --> 00:13:46,020 I don't think it makes sense to be against it. 274 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,635 You guys ever hear of The Slender Man? 275 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,007 I'd like to try to help you. 276 00:13:49,013 --> 00:13:51,953 - And if possible, learn from you. - You guys on Reddit, 4Chan? 277 00:13:51,966 --> 00:13:53,792 - That would be great, Abed. - Cuz it's awesome. 278 00:13:53,798 --> 00:13:58,154 I think we'd all benefit if we were more like you, so 279 00:13:58,905 --> 00:14:00,184 what do you say? 280 00:14:00,197 --> 00:14:01,464 Let's order some food. 281 00:14:01,477 --> 00:14:03,893 - Let's save Greendale. - Let's save Greendale. 282 00:14:03,913 --> 00:14:05,820 Tacos! 283 00:14:06,323 --> 00:14:08,363 We are something else. 284 00:14:22,824 --> 00:14:23,881 Abed. 285 00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:25,800 - Abed. - Yeah? 286 00:14:25,825 --> 00:14:27,746 - What are you doing? - What do you mean? 287 00:14:27,758 --> 00:14:29,933 Someone told me you were sweeping, straightening clocks. 288 00:14:29,939 --> 00:14:32,315 Why are you cleaning that sign? I gave you a list. 289 00:14:32,322 --> 00:14:34,188 Yeah, the list felt pretty similar visually. 290 00:14:34,194 --> 00:14:37,041 I can't picture a montage cutting from me verifying Diane's invoice 291 00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:39,273 to me emailing confirmation to Diane. 292 00:14:39,285 --> 00:14:41,505 Right. But a montage is what, Abed? 293 00:14:41,518 --> 00:14:43,051 It's a movie apologizing for reality. 294 00:14:43,064 --> 00:14:44,464 And we are where? 295 00:14:44,477 --> 00:14:46,769 - Reality. - And what do people do here? 296 00:14:48,475 --> 00:14:49,736 They email Diane? 297 00:15:04,295 --> 00:15:07,610 Abed, if you change your clothes one more time today, you're fired. 298 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:08,987 Sorry. 299 00:15:12,968 --> 00:15:15,028 - Hey, Abed. Hey, Todd. 300 00:15:15,041 --> 00:15:18,815 - Are Annie and Britta around? - No. 301 00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:31,614 Abed, 302 00:15:32,178 --> 00:15:34,612 maybe you should order the special. 303 00:15:34,637 --> 00:15:35,964 I'll have the special. 304 00:15:35,977 --> 00:15:38,537 The specials are kept in the back. 305 00:15:42,978 --> 00:15:45,678 You should, you should go in the back. 306 00:16:15,055 --> 00:16:16,875 I'd like the special. 307 00:16:31,009 --> 00:16:33,398 Vaporizers, Skittles? 308 00:16:34,275 --> 00:16:35,749 - Abed. - Hey, Annie. 309 00:16:35,755 --> 00:16:38,564 - This place is so conceptual. - It's practical, too. 310 00:16:38,577 --> 00:16:40,265 We made enough money to save Shirley's. 311 00:16:40,272 --> 00:16:42,818 And in an ironic way, because if Shirley saw this, her soul would die. 312 00:16:42,831 --> 00:16:44,651 Hey, Abed, check this out. 313 00:16:47,523 --> 00:16:49,770 - Oh, Britta's still the worst? - Yeah. 314 00:16:49,782 --> 00:16:51,016 The bar gets dirty. 315 00:16:51,023 --> 00:16:53,794 You're gonna need someone to clean it, probably after hours, 316 00:16:53,815 --> 00:16:57,088 and those floor polishers can get pretty loud. 317 00:16:57,108 --> 00:16:59,083 I'd hate for someone to hear it. 318 00:16:59,551 --> 00:17:00,993 You blackmailing me? 319 00:17:01,540 --> 00:17:03,117 Just talking shop. 320 00:17:05,944 --> 00:17:07,604 - What's the rumpus, Abed? - Miller's Crossing. 321 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,010 Mm-hm. 322 00:17:09,023 --> 00:17:10,913 This is really great. You guys should be proud of yourselves. 323 00:17:10,926 --> 00:17:12,694 We missed you. Have a drink. 324 00:17:12,719 --> 00:17:14,030 Put on an old timey jacket. 325 00:17:14,043 --> 00:17:15,969 That's okay, I don't really do this anymore. 326 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,057 All right, come on. 327 00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:20,978 I said I don't do this, see. 328 00:17:20,993 --> 00:17:24,365 - You dirty rat. - Guys are all dirty rats. 329 00:17:24,384 --> 00:17:26,367 What's your romper room? 330 00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:28,190 All right, maybe just one drink. 331 00:17:28,197 --> 00:17:30,895 Then maybe cut to a montage of drinks. 332 00:17:33,369 --> 00:17:34,825 Drink up! 333 00:17:41,744 --> 00:17:44,250 - Let's never stop being friends again ever. - Mm-hm. 334 00:17:44,263 --> 00:17:45,460 Cheers! 335 00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:48,607 We shouldn't have made you choose between Frankie and us. 336 00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,407 Oh, she's good for business. 337 00:17:50,427 --> 00:17:52,460 We're sorry that we made you choose between— 338 00:17:52,474 --> 00:17:55,263 - You're just repeating what I said. - No, you're repeating what I said. 339 00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:56,812 Oh, I'm a time traveler? 340 00:17:56,832 --> 00:17:58,685 This is the show. 341 00:18:04,870 --> 00:18:05,890 Abed, 342 00:18:05,896 --> 00:18:10,317 I just got word from Diane that one of your emails was a little shaky. 343 00:18:10,342 --> 00:18:11,683 Are you okay? 344 00:18:11,696 --> 00:18:13,802 I'm good. Late night last night. 345 00:18:13,808 --> 00:18:14,715 Yeah? 346 00:18:14,721 --> 00:18:16,960 Yeah, I could use a little protein. 347 00:18:17,482 --> 00:18:19,279 I'm gonna go get an early lunch. 348 00:18:23,432 --> 00:18:25,128 You guys know about tardigrades? 349 00:18:25,134 --> 00:18:27,818 They're these microscopic creatures that look like robot bears. 350 00:18:27,843 --> 00:18:29,563 - They can survive in space. - Mm. - Mm-hm. 351 00:18:29,576 --> 00:18:32,891 Get into space, you dirty tardigrades, see? 352 00:18:34,496 --> 00:18:36,111 And they're everywhere. 353 00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:38,836 There's a lot of little things in real life that are just as cool as fake stuff. 354 00:18:38,843 --> 00:18:40,561 I learned that working for Frankie. 355 00:18:40,563 --> 00:18:42,414 You guys would like her, you know. 356 00:18:44,422 --> 00:18:45,857 Raid! 357 00:18:48,941 --> 00:18:51,634 Is this what you guys want? 358 00:18:52,142 --> 00:18:54,002 You wanna play cops and robbers with costumes? 359 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:55,546 Why is that guy a carrot? 360 00:18:56,061 --> 00:18:57,960 - Because they ran out. - Who tattled? 361 00:18:57,980 --> 00:19:02,983 In what world, Britta, do you see this as covert enough to require tattling? 362 00:19:02,989 --> 00:19:05,696 You built a bar in a school. 363 00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:07,841 There was lumber involved. 364 00:19:07,860 --> 00:19:10,199 I have been letting you hole up down here, 365 00:19:10,212 --> 00:19:12,858 because it kept you contained and satisfied, 366 00:19:12,870 --> 00:19:16,140 because you are all compulsively defiant, 367 00:19:16,147 --> 00:19:17,434 but it wasn't enough. 368 00:19:17,441 --> 00:19:20,614 You had to drag Abed back in, and Abed deserves better. 369 00:19:20,633 --> 00:19:24,868 - Oh. - Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, it finally comes out. 370 00:19:24,888 --> 00:19:27,635 Abed deserves better. 371 00:19:27,647 --> 00:19:29,962 - That's been out. - Shut up, Leonard. 372 00:19:29,975 --> 00:19:32,958 I once mistook six people for you at a pharmacy. 373 00:19:32,973 --> 00:19:34,746 It's not their fault, Frankie. I chose this. 374 00:19:34,753 --> 00:19:36,252 These are my friends. 375 00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,241 I hate emailing Diane. 376 00:19:38,266 --> 00:19:41,833 She can't commit to a font. It's pathological, and so am I. 377 00:19:41,852 --> 00:19:43,339 This is where I belong. 378 00:19:43,352 --> 00:19:47,271 I know you think that, Abed, but you don't know any better. 379 00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:51,105 Whoops. 380 00:19:51,118 --> 00:19:52,318 But— 381 00:19:53,450 --> 00:19:54,963 shut up, Leonard. 382 00:19:54,982 --> 00:19:56,243 You are. 383 00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:58,120 You are old. 384 00:19:58,127 --> 00:20:01,636 And you deserve less, because of your age. 385 00:20:01,643 --> 00:20:03,098 I don't, I don't actually believe that. 386 00:20:03,111 --> 00:20:06,180 I'm just trying to, I'm trying to, and 387 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:10,872 everybody here is a, is a fart a livid fart 388 00:20:10,897 --> 00:20:13,872 from the butt of a lesser god. 389 00:20:13,897 --> 00:20:15,952 I'm, I'm better than this. 390 00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:24,070 Cut to everyone on campus getting as drunk as they want montage. 391 00:20:39,990 --> 00:20:42,009 Frankie hasn't come back to work today. 392 00:20:42,024 --> 00:20:43,571 That's terrible. 393 00:20:43,577 --> 00:20:45,130 The insurance company dropped us. 394 00:20:45,136 --> 00:20:47,523 - The school has no insurance. - What was Frankie's salary? 395 00:20:47,536 --> 00:20:49,156 - A lot. - What were the insurance premiums? 396 00:20:49,168 --> 00:20:52,509 - A lot. - Add those two numbers together, that's your new school dance budget. 397 00:20:52,534 --> 00:20:54,419 Oh, nice. 398 00:20:57,017 --> 00:20:59,308 Welcome to Ladders! 399 00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,008 Yeah! 400 00:21:13,010 --> 00:21:14,803 Ladder! 401 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,860 Who wants to see the ladders professor go higher? 402 00:21:23,401 --> 00:21:25,371 Ladder! 403 00:21:25,396 --> 00:21:26,982 Aah! 404 00:21:29,060 --> 00:21:30,811 You did it, Jeff Winger! 405 00:21:30,818 --> 00:21:32,658 This is your school now. 406 00:21:37,958 --> 00:21:40,331 - Annie. - It was worth it. 407 00:21:41,850 --> 00:21:42,912 Aah! 408 00:21:50,584 --> 00:21:54,132 All right, that should be the extent of the professor's medical bills. 409 00:21:54,153 --> 00:21:56,226 What-What about that lawsuits from the students? 410 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:57,533 I think we should fight those. 411 00:21:57,546 --> 00:21:59,640 Actually, I suggest you settle out of court. 412 00:21:59,646 --> 00:22:01,234 - This is my fault. - Obviously not. 413 00:22:01,246 --> 00:22:02,519 - It's my fault. - It's my fault. 414 00:22:02,532 --> 00:22:04,679 - Guys, it's my fault. - It's my fault. 415 00:22:04,685 --> 00:22:06,032 - It's my fault. - It's my fault. 416 00:22:06,045 --> 00:22:07,625 - It's my fault. - It's my fault. 417 00:22:09,871 --> 00:22:11,131 - It's my fault. - It's my fault. 418 00:22:11,137 --> 00:22:15,267 It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. It's my fault. 419 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,923 All right, all right, all right. 420 00:22:16,930 --> 00:22:18,683 So, whose fault wasn't it? 421 00:22:18,703 --> 00:22:22,237 And who knows anything about handling anything like this? 422 00:22:23,247 --> 00:22:25,883 In terms of hierarchy, I'm a big believer in it. 423 00:22:25,897 --> 00:22:29,363 Someone needs to say, I'm in charge, and that person is me. 424 00:22:29,369 --> 00:22:31,289 That's my decision. 425 00:22:32,667 --> 00:22:34,260 Wait, what? 426 00:22:34,277 --> 00:22:35,750 - I'm sorry? - Who talks like that? 427 00:22:35,756 --> 00:22:38,261 Why would anyone hire someone so pompous? 428 00:22:38,274 --> 00:22:40,975 Miss Dart, word of advice, change your personality, 429 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,453 or start looking for companies run by insane people. 430 00:22:44,248 --> 00:22:46,361 - Don't hire this woman. - Fifth time's the charm. 431 00:22:46,374 --> 00:22:48,653 He's barged the four offices screaming, don't hire this woman. 432 00:22:48,673 --> 00:22:51,455 - What the hell is going on? - What are you doing here? 433 00:22:51,462 --> 00:22:54,178 - How did you even find me? - I emailed Diane. 434 00:22:54,198 --> 00:22:55,898 She knows way too much about your schedule, by the way. 435 00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:59,950 Whatever he's offering you, Greendale, well, we can't double it. 436 00:22:59,956 --> 00:23:01,965 We probably can't even match it. 437 00:23:01,978 --> 00:23:06,776 Whatever he's offering you, Greendale will give you less, and an apology. 438 00:23:06,782 --> 00:23:08,738 - Do you know— - Shh. 439 00:23:11,239 --> 00:23:12,978 It's not enough, 440 00:23:13,543 --> 00:23:18,151 but maybe if you added more apologies. 441 00:23:18,654 --> 00:23:20,558 Like a montage of them? 442 00:23:24,323 --> 00:23:25,271 We're sorry. 443 00:25:14,087 --> 00:25:16,147 I told you I wouldn't be needing dinner tonight. 444 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:17,820 I'm guessing you wouldn't. 445 00:25:17,826 --> 00:25:19,584 Not if you're looking for this. 446 00:25:22,184 --> 00:25:22,951 How'd you know? 447 00:25:22,971 --> 00:25:25,304 Nobody makes more crumbs than a cook. 448 00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:27,804 Well, the same goes for clues and detectives. 449 00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:30,801 You're too busy solving murders to get away with your own. 450 00:25:30,807 --> 00:25:33,821 Well, then, what about the case of my wife and my legs, Shirley? 451 00:25:33,826 --> 00:25:35,926 Can you solve that one, huh? Can you? 452 00:25:35,933 --> 00:25:38,626 Cuz if you can't, then I ain't got nothing to live for. 453 00:25:38,639 --> 00:25:40,546 Begging your pardon, Mr. Butcher. 454 00:25:40,566 --> 00:25:43,520 I think the people on this bayou would disagree. 455 00:25:43,533 --> 00:25:46,380 - You rescued a runaway girl today. - Rescued, balls. 456 00:25:46,393 --> 00:25:49,434 I couldn't even rescue a, a bulb from a socket. 457 00:25:49,442 --> 00:25:51,122 And you did all the work today, didn't you? 458 00:25:51,135 --> 00:25:55,735 I'm just a detective from the swamps of Atlanta, can't even walk. 459 00:25:55,748 --> 00:25:57,254 - Oh. - Aah! 460 00:25:57,266 --> 00:25:59,379 Then let me be your legs. 461 00:25:59,386 --> 00:26:03,049 Let me do for you what I did today every week until you find your wife. 462 00:26:03,062 --> 00:26:03,921 Or your legs. 463 00:26:03,934 --> 00:26:08,593 You are a stubborn son of a bitch, Shirley Bennett. 464 00:26:08,599 --> 00:26:10,676 Now come on. I have dinner to make. 465 00:26:10,691 --> 00:26:12,199 You got cases to solve. 466 00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:23,006 Feeling someone's gonna murder some tater tots tonight. 467 00:26:23,019 --> 00:26:24,931 That's no mystery at all. 468 00:26:37,383 --> 00:26:39,110 Next week, on The Butcher and The Baker, 469 00:26:39,135 --> 00:26:41,015 when a new detective on the Bayou disappears, 470 00:26:41,026 --> 00:26:44,614 and Butcher is the prime suspect, it's up to Shirley to cook up some answers. 471 00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:55,119 Corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com Resync for FiHTV WEB-DL by Rapunzel