1
00:00:02,986 --> 00:00:04,780
This is Russell Borchert,

2
00:00:04,822 --> 00:00:05,905
computer genius,

3
00:00:05,947 --> 00:00:07,949
anti-deodorant activist,
and millionaire.

4
00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:11,286
He was rich
for having invented
the 9-track cassette,

5
00:00:11,328 --> 00:00:15,207
which the 8-track industry
paid to keep quiet.

6
00:00:15,249 --> 00:00:17,959
He funneled that wealth
into a computer school
called Greendale,

7
00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:20,671
where he obsessively
pursued a new project,

8
00:00:20,713 --> 00:00:24,675
a machine that can
process feelings.

9
00:00:24,717 --> 00:00:27,928
He apparently used
nothing but gold
to assemble his circuitry,

10
00:00:27,969 --> 00:00:30,972
believing it to be
a better conductor
of human emotion.

11
00:00:31,014 --> 00:00:33,893
It was a weird time.
The Bionic Woman
won an Emmy.

12
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:37,020
Rumors spread
about his relationship
with computers,

13
00:00:37,062 --> 00:00:39,189
and one day,
he disappeared,

14
00:00:39,231 --> 00:00:42,192
hence the legend
that he died of
the first computer virus.

15
00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:44,570
The city bought the campus,
and life went on.

16
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:48,031
His body was never found,
nor was his immense wealth.

17
00:00:48,073 --> 00:00:49,909
Some people said
he hid his money

18
00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:52,494
using a portal
to another dimension.

19
00:00:52,536 --> 00:00:54,121
Those people were on LSD.

20
00:00:54,162 --> 00:00:57,792
Everyone else said
he had a secret vault
in his office.

21
00:00:57,833 --> 00:00:59,376
Well, where's his office?

22
00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:01,169
Good question.

23
00:01:01,211 --> 00:01:05,006
We found this confession
written by Greendale's
first dean.

24
00:01:05,048 --> 00:01:08,051
"To protect
the student health and
the school's reputation,

25
00:01:08,093 --> 00:01:11,012
"I have sealed off
the computer department

26
00:01:11,054 --> 00:01:13,307
"and removed the stairwell
to that entire section."

27
00:01:13,348 --> 00:01:15,100
A section that remains
on this campus somewhere,

28
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:16,393
its secrets untouched,

29
00:01:16,435 --> 00:01:18,186
including quite possibly
Borchert's millions.

30
00:01:18,228 --> 00:01:19,939
If we found it,

31
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:22,107
we could buy it
from the city
before Subway.

32
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:24,276
Then I could really go nuts
with this place.

33
00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:26,612
This is the kind
of adventure I usually
have to force upon us,

34
00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:28,238
and here it is,
falling into our laps.

35
00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,449
We're like The Goonies,
except our story
tracks logically

36
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:32,910
and has a chance
of holding up to objective
critical scrutiny.

37
00:01:34,077 --> 00:01:35,830
Can you
please stop that?
Sorry.

38
00:01:35,871 --> 00:01:37,957
Here are your blueprints.
Sorry it took so long.

39
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:40,292
You can't fight city hall.

40
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:43,170
Uh, apparently you can.
That's why it took so long.

41
00:01:43,211 --> 00:01:44,964
Well, I'll be damned.
Would you look at that?

42
00:01:45,046 --> 00:01:46,381
It's so clear now.

43
00:01:46,423 --> 00:01:48,550
The entire school
is shaped like a penis.

44
00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:50,511
No, that.

45
00:01:50,552 --> 00:01:52,805
It says right here
that this stairway
leads to sublevel three.

46
00:01:52,847 --> 00:01:54,598
Is that where
the teachers' lounge is?

47
00:01:56,057 --> 00:01:57,267
What the hell
does your penis
look like?

48
00:01:57,309 --> 00:01:58,727
Obviously a cluster
of buildings,

49
00:01:58,769 --> 00:02:01,188
so let's all
have a big laugh
at the freak.

50
00:02:28,590 --> 00:02:30,551
The missing stairwell
would be in this area.
Keep your eyes peeled.

51
00:02:30,592 --> 00:02:31,886
I don't know why,
but serial killers

52
00:02:31,927 --> 00:02:33,012
and people
that hide treasure

53
00:02:33,053 --> 00:02:34,388
always leave
weird little clues.

54
00:02:34,429 --> 00:02:35,681
Check it out.

55
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:36,974
Look at the bottle
held by the school's

56
00:02:37,016 --> 00:02:38,559
first and least
acceptable mascot,

57
00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,561
Big Chief Drunky.

58
00:02:40,602 --> 00:02:42,646
X marks the spot, baby.

59
00:02:43,981 --> 00:02:45,232
Maybe you
shouldn't be…

60
00:02:45,273 --> 00:02:46,400
Okay.

61
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:49,862
Shirley, will you
lock the door?

62
00:02:49,904 --> 00:02:50,988
Okay.

63
00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:02,875
There you go.

64
00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:06,211
It's just a bunch of wires.

65
00:03:06,253 --> 00:03:08,797
Exactly what they want us
to think.

66
00:03:09,965 --> 00:03:11,717
Oh, my God.

67
00:03:11,759 --> 00:03:14,929
Wait, wait, wait.

68
00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,764
The sparks
may be spelling out
the next clue.

69
00:03:27,066 --> 00:03:28,191
Is Duncan okay?

70
00:03:28,233 --> 00:03:29,818
He'll live,

71
00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:32,529
but his food's gonna
taste like burnt aluminum
for a while.

72
00:03:32,571 --> 00:03:34,155
It's pronounced
al-u-minium.

73
00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:35,240
See, he's fine.

74
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:37,659
Okay, guys, stop it now.

75
00:03:37,701 --> 00:03:39,787
Nobody wants to admit
it's over,

76
00:03:39,828 --> 00:03:41,371
but come on.

77
00:03:41,413 --> 00:03:43,791
Oh, look,
it's Jeff Winger,
fun police,

78
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:45,208
here to pull over
our smiles

79
00:03:45,250 --> 00:03:47,711
'cause our mouths
have tinted windows.

80
00:03:47,753 --> 00:03:49,170
Britta and I
are getting married.

81
00:03:49,212 --> 00:03:50,672
What?
Married?

82
00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:52,841
Well, you're gonna need
way more doves than this.

83
00:03:52,883 --> 00:03:54,217
What does this look like,

84
00:03:54,259 --> 00:03:56,177
an hour-long episode
of The Office?

85
00:03:56,219 --> 00:03:59,098
There's pick-axing
and electric zapping.

86
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,599
Don't even
acknowledge it.

87
00:04:00,641 --> 00:04:02,350
We are not
acknowledging this.

88
00:04:02,392 --> 00:04:04,645
You guys
are ridiculous together.

89
00:04:04,686 --> 00:04:06,688
We're ridiculous?
What do you call this?

90
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:07,940
Secret trapdoor!

91
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:09,108
Booyah.

92
00:04:15,614 --> 00:04:16,657
Who's got rope?

93
00:04:16,698 --> 00:04:18,867
I'm offended
by that question.

94
00:04:22,955 --> 00:04:24,706
This is Richie and Carl
from the school board.

95
00:04:24,748 --> 00:04:26,291
That's right.
We got names.

96
00:04:26,333 --> 00:04:27,626
Open this door now.

97
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:29,210
Wait, I know
where the keys are.

98
00:04:29,252 --> 00:04:30,545
You hear that?

99
00:04:30,587 --> 00:04:32,506
When we get there,
you're gonna be
in big trouble.

100
00:04:34,008 --> 00:04:35,759
Here they are.
Here they are.

101
00:04:36,426 --> 00:04:37,552
Which one is it?

102
00:04:37,594 --> 00:04:39,179
Well, it's never
the first one,

103
00:04:39,220 --> 00:04:40,848
so we can cancel
this one out.

104
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:42,099
Come on.

105
00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:44,018
I guess now
this is the first one,

106
00:04:44,059 --> 00:04:45,811
so it should be
the next one.

107
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,688
Oh, damn.
You know what?

108
00:04:47,729 --> 00:04:49,356
I got it.
Get out of the way.

109
00:04:49,397 --> 00:04:51,692
Richie, be careful.
Don't worry.

110
00:04:51,733 --> 00:04:53,527
I've been drinking.

111
00:04:56,155 --> 00:04:59,116
Oh, hello.
Would you like some tea?

112
00:04:59,158 --> 00:05:00,283
The tea is swell.

113
00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:09,710
Do you think they…

114
00:05:10,711 --> 00:05:12,129
I think…

115
00:05:12,171 --> 00:05:13,672
Oh, come on, shh.

116
00:05:15,507 --> 00:05:16,633
You know
it's just as loud as…

117
00:05:21,013 --> 00:05:22,347
Everybody, shut up!

118
00:05:26,018 --> 00:05:29,312
Guys, I think
this is the lost section
of Greendale.

119
00:05:29,354 --> 00:05:31,190
Nobody's been in here
since the '70s.

120
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:32,440
How do you know?

121
00:05:32,482 --> 00:05:33,984
Because the
debate team topic is,

122
00:05:34,026 --> 00:05:35,986
"Who's hotter, Elliot Gould
or Donald Sutherland?"

123
00:05:36,028 --> 00:05:37,821
Donald Sutherland.

124
00:05:43,326 --> 00:05:45,328
Scary.
Oh, relax.

125
00:05:45,370 --> 00:05:47,206
If it's anything
like a regular dungeon,

126
00:05:47,246 --> 00:05:49,290
it's only as dangerous
as whoever invited you.

127
00:05:49,332 --> 00:05:51,626
Abed, if there's
killer robots down here,

128
00:05:51,668 --> 00:05:53,420
you'll tell them
we're on your side, right?

129
00:05:53,461 --> 00:05:56,297
Yes, but we won't know them
from ordinary robots
until they kill us.

130
00:05:56,339 --> 00:05:59,009
So what do
we do now?
Split up.

131
00:05:59,051 --> 00:06:00,385
Leave no '70s reference
unturned.

132
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,387
This decade's a little out
of my wheelhouse.

133
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:05,390
Pet rock…
Leave no pet rock unturned.

134
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:06,474
Here, let me lead,
my light's better.

135
00:06:06,516 --> 00:06:07,935
Your light's better?

136
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,686
You're that insecure
that your light
has to be better?

137
00:06:09,728 --> 00:06:11,772
Shut up.
You shut up.

138
00:06:11,813 --> 00:06:13,148
Anything in there?

139
00:06:13,190 --> 00:06:16,651
Just spider webs
and beanbag chairs.

140
00:06:16,693 --> 00:06:18,070
Oh, don't cry.

141
00:06:18,112 --> 00:06:19,529
The importance
of lumbar support hadn't…

142
00:06:19,571 --> 00:06:20,781
It's not that.

143
00:06:20,822 --> 00:06:22,365
It's just even if
we do save Greendale,

144
00:06:22,407 --> 00:06:24,743
which Greendale
will we be saving?

145
00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:27,370
First Pierce dies,
then Troy leaves.

146
00:06:27,412 --> 00:06:28,914
Now people are…

147
00:06:28,956 --> 00:06:30,331
Getting married?

148
00:06:30,373 --> 00:06:32,709
Annie, look,
I don't know people,

149
00:06:32,751 --> 00:06:34,711
but I know TV.

150
00:06:34,753 --> 00:06:36,546
When characters feel
like the show they're on
is ending,

151
00:06:36,588 --> 00:06:38,423
their instinct is to spin off
into something safer,

152
00:06:38,465 --> 00:06:39,466
in Jeff and Britta's case,

153
00:06:39,507 --> 00:06:41,051
something that would last
six episodes

154
00:06:41,093 --> 00:06:43,095
and have a lot of bickering
about tweezers and gluten,

155
00:06:43,137 --> 00:06:45,097
starring them
and an equally
waspy brunette couple

156
00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:46,932
with a title like
Better With My Worse Half

157
00:06:46,974 --> 00:06:48,433
or Awfully Wedded
or Tying The Not,

158
00:06:48,475 --> 00:06:49,643
but "knot" is spelt
without a k,

159
00:06:49,684 --> 00:06:51,019
or #Couple People Problems…
Abed.

160
00:06:51,061 --> 00:06:52,896
And every episode,
you get…
Abed.

161
00:06:52,938 --> 00:06:54,231
Abed, stop developing.

162
00:06:54,273 --> 00:06:56,275
Sorry.

163
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:59,987
The point is,
this show, Annie,

164
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:02,197
it isn't just their show.

165
00:07:02,239 --> 00:07:05,366
This is our show,
and it's not over.

166
00:07:05,408 --> 00:07:06,701
And the sooner
we find that treasure,

167
00:07:06,743 --> 00:07:08,703
the faster
the Jeff-Britta pilot
falls apart.

168
00:07:08,745 --> 00:07:10,664
Got it.

169
00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:11,873
Thank you, Abed.

170
00:07:11,915 --> 00:07:13,917
You're welcome.

171
00:07:15,252 --> 00:07:17,296
I have a girlfriend.
What?

172
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:18,672
You were about to start
a kiss lean.

173
00:07:18,713 --> 00:07:20,340
I was not.
Fine.

174
00:07:20,381 --> 00:07:21,633
Let's go find treasure.

175
00:07:25,470 --> 00:07:26,805
Did you
find anything?
No.

176
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:29,141
We've searched
every crevice
of this place,

177
00:07:29,183 --> 00:07:30,391
and the only treasures
we've found

178
00:07:30,433 --> 00:07:32,227
are this CB radio,

179
00:07:32,269 --> 00:07:34,146
these basketball cards
with white people on them,

180
00:07:34,188 --> 00:07:37,732
and this
little rocket launcher
from some action figure.

181
00:07:39,943 --> 00:07:42,445
Seems like an odd place
for a dead end, though.

182
00:07:42,487 --> 00:07:43,738
Could be a secret door.

183
00:07:43,780 --> 00:07:46,241
Maybe the jukebox
is the key to it.

184
00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:48,368
Just remember,
it's okay if we fail.

185
00:07:48,409 --> 00:07:50,453
Right, Jeff?
That's right.

186
00:07:52,206 --> 00:07:53,999
Ugh, try every button.

187
00:07:54,041 --> 00:07:55,834
Just try every
single button ever.

188
00:07:58,920 --> 00:07:59,906
Are you all right?

189
00:07:59,921 --> 00:08:00,964
No!

190
00:08:01,006 --> 00:08:02,423
I was dying!

191
00:08:03,633 --> 00:08:04,885
Try track 127.

192
00:08:04,926 --> 00:08:06,386
Right.

193
00:08:06,427 --> 00:08:09,264
Because 127 in binary code
would be a palindrome.

194
00:08:09,306 --> 00:08:11,599
Because the song title
is Open The Door
by The Secret Doors.

195
00:08:34,497 --> 00:08:37,417
Borchert's secret lab.

196
00:08:37,458 --> 00:08:40,128
That's the machine
Borchert was working on
in the film.

197
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,301
Borchert's gold.

198
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,930
We need
to get this upstairs.

199
00:08:49,971 --> 00:08:51,139
Save Greendale.

200
00:08:56,519 --> 00:08:57,520
It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay.

201
00:09:00,565 --> 00:09:02,067
You're Russell Borchert,
aren't you?

202
00:09:03,402 --> 00:09:05,445
Hey, I'm gonna peel off
some Band-Aids here.

203
00:09:06,405 --> 00:09:08,615
Dennis Hopper is dead,

204
00:09:08,656 --> 00:09:11,076
TV shows give no time
for theme songs anymore,

205
00:09:11,118 --> 00:09:13,954
and Woody Allen
did the voice
of a cartoon ant.

206
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,669
Jeff!

207
00:09:21,711 --> 00:09:24,923
Sorry, I lose track
of how big I'm getting.

208
00:09:25,757 --> 00:09:26,883
I don't.

209
00:09:28,302 --> 00:09:30,345
You vandalized
private property.

210
00:09:30,387 --> 00:09:32,180
You nearly
destroy the school.

211
00:09:32,222 --> 00:09:34,224
When it's finally about
to make a profit?

212
00:09:34,266 --> 00:09:35,725
You guys are the worst,

213
00:09:35,767 --> 00:09:38,603
with your stupid paintballs
and your freeze tags.

214
00:09:38,645 --> 00:09:41,898
Hot lava.
That was hot lava?
Dumb.

215
00:09:43,442 --> 00:09:45,485
Tell us
where the others went.

216
00:09:47,612 --> 00:09:50,240
Guys, guys.

217
00:09:50,282 --> 00:09:52,742
What do you
want to do?
What should we do?

218
00:09:52,784 --> 00:09:54,328
Well, what can we do?

219
00:09:55,870 --> 00:09:57,914
Okay.

220
00:09:57,956 --> 00:10:00,583
I'm gonna need you guys
to stay back,

221
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:03,503
and never tell anyone
about what you
saw here today.

222
00:10:17,142 --> 00:10:19,560
Richie. Richie.

223
00:10:19,602 --> 00:10:22,105
You're special, Richie.
Your mind is special.

224
00:10:22,147 --> 00:10:24,358
You know it
works differently
from other kids' minds.

225
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:36,495
Thank you.

226
00:10:37,204 --> 00:10:38,538
I know where they went.

227
00:10:38,579 --> 00:10:40,415
They climbed out a window
to the roof,

228
00:10:40,457 --> 00:10:41,875
hopped on a hang glider,

229
00:10:41,916 --> 00:10:44,044
and flew it across town
to that Greek restaurant,

230
00:10:44,085 --> 00:10:45,295
Papa Cristo's?

231
00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:47,922
I robbed your brain.

232
00:10:47,964 --> 00:10:49,424
I robbed it.

233
00:10:49,466 --> 00:10:51,426
Hey, guys,
we found a hatch
in the floor

234
00:10:51,468 --> 00:10:52,677
underneath
the vending machine.

235
00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:54,179
I think
they went down inside it.

236
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,555
Was there a hang glider?

237
00:10:57,432 --> 00:10:59,267
Uh, you're gonna
find out…

238
00:10:59,309 --> 00:11:00,435
You're gonna find
a hang glider
down there.

239
00:11:00,477 --> 00:11:01,853
That much I know.

240
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:04,398
So anyway,
I sealed myself up
down here

241
00:11:04,439 --> 00:11:07,275
with 50 years of food,
50 years of toilet paper,

242
00:11:07,317 --> 00:11:08,818
and 50 years of cocaine,

243
00:11:08,860 --> 00:11:11,530
which I somehow ran out of
after about 10 years.

244
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,740
Wow, the '80s happened
down here too.

245
00:11:13,781 --> 00:11:14,782
Yeah.

246
00:11:14,824 --> 00:11:16,159
Hey, what are you doing
with Raquel?

247
00:11:18,203 --> 00:11:19,871
Russell, we're on
a bit of a deadline,

248
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,831
and to put it bluntly,
we need your gold.

249
00:11:21,873 --> 00:11:23,458
Raquel!

250
00:11:23,500 --> 00:11:25,168
Uh, guys,
little help…

251
00:11:25,210 --> 00:11:26,753
She just needs
a little more time.

252
00:11:26,794 --> 00:11:29,672
Sir, Raquel has taken
the best years of your life

253
00:11:29,714 --> 00:11:31,299
and a dozen
of your not-so-good.

254
00:11:31,341 --> 00:11:33,260
If she hasn't given
anything back,

255
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,136
it might be time
to move on.

256
00:11:36,179 --> 00:11:37,556
Stop.

257
00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:39,682
You guys…

258
00:11:39,724 --> 00:11:40,725
What are we doing?

259
00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:42,727
Saving Greendale.
From what?

260
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,104
We were driven
down here

261
00:11:44,145 --> 00:11:46,773
by sellouts
with crappy values.

262
00:11:46,814 --> 00:11:49,025
Since when do
human beings decide

263
00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:51,570
which dreams
are worthwhile?

264
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:54,822
Look at him.
He's one of us.

265
00:11:54,864 --> 00:11:57,534
We have to respect
each other enough

266
00:11:57,576 --> 00:12:02,914
to let each other want
what we want,

267
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:06,585
no matter how transparently
self-destructive

268
00:12:06,625 --> 00:12:10,547
or empty
our desires may be.

269
00:12:12,840 --> 00:12:15,093
If it was money
that you guys wanted,

270
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:16,177
why didn't you say so?

271
00:12:16,219 --> 00:12:17,471
You can just have
my leftover cash

272
00:12:17,512 --> 00:12:18,888
that's under the desk
over there.

273
00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:20,681
Yeah, I don't think
it's worth much up there.

274
00:12:20,723 --> 00:12:22,517
Those are
Gerald Ford dollars.

275
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:23,545
How many?

276
00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:24,936
Eh, couple of million.

277
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,564
Back in the '70s,
that was worth millions.

278
00:12:27,606 --> 00:12:28,815
Hey, I've got an idea.

279
00:12:28,856 --> 00:12:30,649
How about you people
leave me alone,

280
00:12:30,691 --> 00:12:33,403
and I hereby grant that
to Greendale?

281
00:12:33,445 --> 00:12:34,445
What?

282
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:37,656
Glad to hear it.

283
00:12:41,828 --> 00:12:43,662
Get back.
This pickle's a magnet.

284
00:12:43,704 --> 00:12:45,706
Whoa, whoa.
I'll wipe her out, man.

285
00:12:45,748 --> 00:12:47,250
Don't you dare use
that pickle magnet on her.

286
00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:50,378
Stop. Don't do it.

287
00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:52,589
Get over there
with them.

288
00:12:52,631 --> 00:12:54,424
You have no legal claim
to that money.

289
00:12:54,466 --> 00:12:56,426
Take it up with Subway
in about an hour…

290
00:12:56,468 --> 00:12:58,470
After close of escrow.

291
00:12:58,512 --> 00:13:00,597
Hey, Chang,
you've become
a bad guy again?

292
00:13:00,639 --> 00:13:02,723
There's a lot more to it
than that, Britta.

293
00:13:05,477 --> 00:13:07,895
Wait, I'm not wearing
a mask?

294
00:13:07,937 --> 00:13:09,230
Okay, there's
no more to it.

295
00:13:09,272 --> 00:13:10,565
I think I'm just
mentally ill.

296
00:13:10,607 --> 00:13:11,690
All right, just stay back.
All right?

297
00:13:14,653 --> 00:13:15,862
No, don't.

298
00:13:18,156 --> 00:13:19,866
No!

299
00:13:26,373 --> 00:13:28,458
Hey!
Hang in there.

300
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:30,751
Raquel is
the main operating system.

301
00:13:30,793 --> 00:13:32,837
She controls the door,
the lights,

302
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:35,382
the shower probably,
everything.

303
00:13:35,423 --> 00:13:38,051
And now she's dead.

304
00:13:39,844 --> 00:13:43,097
So we're trapped
in here forever.

305
00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:45,600
Or just until
we run out of
food and water.

306
00:13:45,642 --> 00:13:47,018
At least
we'll have each other.

307
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,520
Till death do us part.

308
00:13:50,104 --> 00:13:51,898
You know what?
You guys can have
my food and water.

309
00:13:55,776 --> 00:13:58,154
Come on, Raquel.
Come on.

310
00:13:58,196 --> 00:14:00,156
Baby. Come on.

311
00:14:03,201 --> 00:14:04,536
Oh, thank God.

312
00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,538
Her emotional components
are still on-line.

313
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:07,746
Emotional components?

314
00:14:07,788 --> 00:14:09,666
I have accomplished things
down here,

315
00:14:09,708 --> 00:14:12,419
you couldn't
even possibly imagine.

316
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,212
Here, let me show you.

317
00:14:28,685 --> 00:14:30,895
Ah, right there!
That was it.

318
00:14:30,937 --> 00:14:32,230
That was it.
Did you see it?

319
00:14:34,274 --> 00:14:35,650
Don't you see?

320
00:14:35,692 --> 00:14:38,278
This computer
responds to feelings.

321
00:14:38,319 --> 00:14:41,448
When I started Greendale,
it was for ordinary people

322
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:43,533
to be able
to access technology.

323
00:14:43,575 --> 00:14:45,744
Wait, you started Greendale.

324
00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,412
Do you have that
in writing anywhere?

325
00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:49,872
I don't know.
Somewhere with
all that crap over there.

326
00:14:49,914 --> 00:14:51,999
But without
an emotional component,

327
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:54,628
computers would strip us
of all humanity

328
00:14:54,669 --> 00:14:58,548
and create a society
with emotionless eggheads
at the top

329
00:14:58,590 --> 00:15:00,425
and idiots with feelings
at the bottom,

330
00:15:00,467 --> 00:15:02,719
and I refuse
to let that happen,
and that's why I've spent…

331
00:15:02,761 --> 00:15:05,513
What? What is that?

332
00:15:05,555 --> 00:15:07,557
It's a video of a kitten.

333
00:15:07,599 --> 00:15:09,559
And why are
those people
arguing about it?

334
00:15:09,601 --> 00:15:10,810
And what's that?

335
00:15:11,686 --> 00:15:12,937
That's an emoticon.

336
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,188
That person wants
to indicate happiness

337
00:15:14,230 --> 00:15:15,649
but can't convey it
with language,

338
00:15:15,690 --> 00:15:17,400
so they misuse punctuation
to form a smile.

339
00:15:19,653 --> 00:15:21,070
That is so…

340
00:15:23,114 --> 00:15:24,699
Stupid.

341
00:15:24,741 --> 00:15:27,285
Only an idiot
would think of this.

342
00:15:27,327 --> 00:15:28,953
Idiots won.

343
00:15:30,705 --> 00:15:33,207
Which means
my work down here
is done.

344
00:15:33,249 --> 00:15:35,794
Good, because according
to what I'm seeing,

345
00:15:35,835 --> 00:15:37,837
if we can get you up there
right now,

346
00:15:37,878 --> 00:15:39,714
Subway won't be
buying this school.

347
00:15:39,756 --> 00:15:40,881
What?

348
00:15:40,923 --> 00:15:42,175
What?

349
00:15:42,216 --> 00:15:44,427
Uh, yeah,
but it's gonna take
a few hours

350
00:15:44,469 --> 00:15:45,762
to get that door open,

351
00:15:45,804 --> 00:15:47,972
because Raquel's
logic circuits…

352
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,474
Bleh, not good.

353
00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:51,392
You said her emotional
components work.

354
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:56,105
Well, in theory,
a blast of human passion
could shock the mainframe

355
00:15:56,147 --> 00:15:57,440
into a cold start,

356
00:15:57,482 --> 00:15:59,484
but that's only if
somebody in this room

357
00:15:59,526 --> 00:16:02,696
has feelings
stronger than I get
when I rub my nipples.

358
00:16:02,737 --> 00:16:04,113
So good luck
with that, folks.

359
00:16:05,239 --> 00:16:06,700
Give me that.

360
00:16:06,741 --> 00:16:08,535
Everybody over there.
Turn around.

361
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,829
Turn around now.

362
00:16:13,623 --> 00:16:17,293
You're here to save me,
aren't you?

363
00:16:17,335 --> 00:16:21,005
Let's get out of here
and never look back.

364
00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,549
Jeff, in case
you ever have
to remember me,

365
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:23,966
can I give you
some options
for voice-over quotes?

366
00:16:24,008 --> 00:16:25,176
Shut up, Abed.

367
00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,847
Milady.
Milord.

368
00:16:37,814 --> 00:16:38,857
What did you do?

369
00:16:38,898 --> 00:16:40,107
Don't worry about it.
Let's go.

370
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,116
The city of Greendale
is proud

371
00:16:49,158 --> 00:16:52,078
to be selling the school
of Greendale to Subway.

372
00:16:52,119 --> 00:16:54,831
This brings to an end
several years

373
00:16:54,873 --> 00:16:59,252
of horrible management
by Dean Craig Isidore Pelton.

374
00:16:59,293 --> 00:17:01,212
Not to throw anyone
under the bus,

375
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,130
but he'd be the one.
No.

376
00:17:03,172 --> 00:17:04,507
And by my watch,

377
00:17:04,549 --> 00:17:07,594
it is about time
to sign these documents

378
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:09,345
and make it official.

379
00:17:09,387 --> 00:17:10,930
Objection!

380
00:17:10,971 --> 00:17:12,223
I teach law at Greendale,

381
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:15,435
so believe me,
I don't know much
about law,

382
00:17:15,476 --> 00:17:18,396
but I do know
a contract violation
when I see one.

383
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,481
This is
a legitimate transaction

384
00:17:20,523 --> 00:17:23,276
where a city
is selling a school
to a restaurant.

385
00:17:23,317 --> 00:17:26,028
It happens somewhere
every day.

386
00:17:26,070 --> 00:17:28,615
Oh, the city can sell
the school all it wants,

387
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:31,409
but according
to his contract
with the city,

388
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:33,077
the school's
original founder

389
00:17:33,119 --> 00:17:35,538
retains the privilege
of consultation

390
00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:38,875
on all future
scholastic endeavors
taking place here.

391
00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:41,210
So Subway
sandwich university,

392
00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:44,631
meet your new vice dean,
Russell Borchert.

393
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,102
Hi.

394
00:17:58,144 --> 00:17:59,604
I guess we're gonna
be partners.

395
00:17:59,646 --> 00:18:01,689
I understand
there's some internet

396
00:18:01,731 --> 00:18:04,275
where I can make
my inner thoughts public.

397
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,777
Uh, It seems like
Greendale the city

398
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:07,654
and Greendale the school
have some stuff
to sort out,

399
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:09,238
and Subway doesn't…

400
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:10,323
Doesn't do conflict.

401
00:18:10,364 --> 00:18:12,700
We do good food
at good prices.

402
00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:16,120
We are but simple
sandwich artists

403
00:18:16,162 --> 00:18:18,957
who want the world
to eat fresh.

404
00:18:18,998 --> 00:18:20,166
Eat fresh.

405
00:18:20,207 --> 00:18:23,002
Subway…ho!

406
00:18:27,924 --> 00:18:29,717
Did we just
save Greendale?

407
00:18:29,759 --> 00:18:31,970
Did we just save Greendale?

408
00:18:32,011 --> 00:18:34,138
No, no, you did not.

409
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:37,684
You moved dirt
around Greendale's grave.

410
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:41,354
Your school
is still bankrupt,
it is still unmarketable,

411
00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:43,690
and it is still on
the permanent
chopping block

412
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:47,360
of anyone who has
any say in its future.

413
00:18:47,401 --> 00:18:48,653
Yeah?

414
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:52,072
Well, around here,
we call that Wednesday.

415
00:19:07,839 --> 00:19:09,924
Hey, after I
was electrocuted,

416
00:19:09,966 --> 00:19:11,843
didn't you two say
you were gonna
get married?

417
00:19:11,885 --> 00:19:14,303
Doesn't electrocuted
technically mean killed?

418
00:19:14,345 --> 00:19:16,055
Do you always
have to correct people
like that?

419
00:19:16,096 --> 00:19:17,724
Do you always have
to police correcting?

420
00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:18,975
That's it,
the marriage is off.

421
00:19:19,017 --> 00:19:20,309
I think you mean
the wedding is off.

422
00:19:20,351 --> 00:19:22,144
Yeah!
Hey, hey.

423
00:19:22,186 --> 00:19:24,856
Hey, I got to say,
you held up well
under that interrogation.

424
00:19:26,024 --> 00:19:27,734
I'm gonna tell you
something

425
00:19:27,775 --> 00:19:29,276
that I'd like to stay
between us.

426
00:19:29,318 --> 00:19:30,486
Oh.

427
00:19:30,528 --> 00:19:32,572
I was thinking about
a hang glider.

428
00:19:34,407 --> 00:19:36,534
None of this conflict
truly matters.

429
00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:39,996
The only owners
of this land
are the Arapaho.

430
00:19:40,038 --> 00:19:42,122
Would it offend you
if I asked you

431
00:19:42,164 --> 00:19:44,166
to train me in the use
of certain powers?

432
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:49,213
Sorry, Carl.
You deserve better.

433
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:51,257
Chang, you get it.

434
00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:53,426
How would you like a job
on the school board?

435
00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:54,594
Okay.

436
00:19:54,635 --> 00:19:57,805
Your first job
is to deliver this

437
00:19:57,847 --> 00:19:59,724
to the city bursar's office.

438
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,183
On it.

439
00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:06,022
Hi, yes, I'd like
to replace all my teeth
with diamonds.

440
00:20:06,064 --> 00:20:08,691
We live to fight
another day.

441
00:20:08,733 --> 00:20:10,192
Speaking of days,
I never got a chance
to wish you

442
00:20:10,234 --> 00:20:12,987
a Happy Birthday
or Halloween or Christmas,

443
00:20:13,029 --> 00:20:14,989
or any specific
calendar event.

444
00:20:15,031 --> 00:20:16,115
Well, maybe next year.

445
00:20:16,156 --> 00:20:17,491
Definitely.

446
00:20:17,533 --> 00:20:19,869
We'll definitely be back
next year.

447
00:20:19,911 --> 00:20:21,537
If not, it'll be
because an asteroid

448
00:20:21,579 --> 00:20:23,623
has destroyed
all human civilization,

449
00:20:23,664 --> 00:20:25,541
and that's Canon.

450
00:20:25,583 --> 00:20:27,126
What? What are you…

451
00:20:27,710 --> 00:20:29,003
Hmm? Nothing.

452
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:57,907
Am I thinking
what you're thinking?

453
00:21:01,953 --> 00:21:03,788
Penny for your thoughts.

454
00:21:11,295 --> 00:21:12,964
Intensive Karen.

455
00:21:14,256 --> 00:21:15,299
Mr. Egypt.

456
00:21:17,802 --> 00:21:19,012
Celebrity beat-off.

457
00:21:20,387 --> 00:21:21,681
Captain Cook.

458
00:21:25,768 --> 00:21:27,186
Depends on
what fails.

459
00:21:28,729 --> 00:21:29,729
Did you get any of that?