1
00:00:01,241 --> 00:00:03,160
So according
to the demonologist,

2
00:00:03,201 --> 00:00:05,036
the gymnasium is clean.

3
00:00:05,078 --> 00:00:07,289
Jeez, we're running out
of to-do stars.

4
00:00:07,331 --> 00:00:08,457
Already dealt with.

5
00:00:08,499 --> 00:00:10,292
It's hard to believe.

6
00:00:10,334 --> 00:00:12,252
Somewhere along the way,
we started turning
this school around.

7
00:00:12,294 --> 00:00:13,545
Huh.

8
00:00:13,587 --> 00:00:15,005
Hmm.
Huh.

9
00:00:17,048 --> 00:00:18,509
What the hell was that?
What was what?

10
00:00:18,550 --> 00:00:20,260
That long, quiet lull.
I don't like it.

11
00:00:20,302 --> 00:00:22,304
It's called contentment,
dude.

12
00:00:22,346 --> 00:00:23,639
Exactly. We're never content.
Someone's always got to
have a problem.

13
00:00:23,681 --> 00:00:25,056
I've got a problem.

14
00:00:25,098 --> 00:00:26,642
I don't like Abed's problem
with our lack of problems.

15
00:00:26,684 --> 00:00:28,393
Ooh.
Oh. Ah, okay.

16
00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:31,188
I commented on his commentary.

17
00:00:31,229 --> 00:00:33,398
I just drew a circle
around Abed, baby.

18
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:34,900
I don't think it's nice

19
00:00:34,942 --> 00:00:37,319
to pigeonhole
people's gimmicks.

20
00:00:37,361 --> 00:00:39,279
You hear me, two voice?

21
00:00:39,321 --> 00:00:42,282
Abed, let us have a moment
of peace and stillness.

22
00:00:42,324 --> 00:00:44,075
They're kind of rare
around here.

23
00:00:44,117 --> 00:00:45,661
All I'm saying is,
calm before the storm.

24
00:00:45,703 --> 00:00:47,162
Says the storm generator.

25
00:00:47,204 --> 00:00:49,373
All right, fine.
Let's be content.

26
00:00:49,414 --> 00:00:51,583
Hmm. Hmm.

27
00:00:51,625 --> 00:00:54,712
Attention, students
and faculty of Greendale.

28
00:00:54,753 --> 00:00:58,507
I pressed this button
on accident
but might as well check in.

29
00:00:58,549 --> 00:01:00,009
How are you?

30
00:01:00,050 --> 00:01:01,259
Fine.

31
00:01:01,301 --> 00:01:04,095
Aw, that's nice.
I'm good too.

32
00:01:04,137 --> 00:01:05,556
I love you guys.

33
00:01:05,597 --> 00:01:08,767
We love you too.

34
00:01:36,003 --> 00:01:37,838
The information
you have requested…

35
00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:38,964
Is on the internet.

36
00:01:39,006 --> 00:01:40,591
Oh.

37
00:01:40,632 --> 00:01:42,885
School board, baby.

38
00:01:42,927 --> 00:01:44,970
School board guys coming in.

39
00:01:45,012 --> 00:01:46,471
I would appreciate
some knocking.

40
00:01:46,513 --> 00:01:47,765
Do you know what goes on
in here?

41
00:01:47,806 --> 00:01:49,266
Just a heads-up.

42
00:01:49,307 --> 00:01:50,893
There's an insurance
appraiser coming tomorrow.

43
00:01:50,935 --> 00:01:52,603
Your ass
is getting appraised

44
00:01:52,644 --> 00:01:53,729
insurance-style.

45
00:01:54,855 --> 00:01:56,565
What does that mean?

46
00:01:56,607 --> 00:01:59,026
We hope it means
we find out that
your school

47
00:01:59,068 --> 00:02:01,152
is very, very valuable
to the city.

48
00:02:01,194 --> 00:02:03,113
Hey,
how hilarious would that be?

49
00:02:04,406 --> 00:02:05,741
Are you guys drunk?

50
00:02:05,783 --> 00:02:07,451
Good luck proving it
before we're not.

51
00:02:07,492 --> 00:02:08,869
Yeah.

52
00:02:11,455 --> 00:02:13,791
Papapapaya. Whoa!

53
00:02:13,832 --> 00:02:15,375
Heh.

54
00:02:15,417 --> 00:02:18,545
Strawberry.

55
00:02:18,587 --> 00:02:20,047
Too ripe.

56
00:02:20,089 --> 00:02:21,381
You guys have been doing this
for 30 minutes.

57
00:02:21,423 --> 00:02:22,591
So what?

58
00:02:22,633 --> 00:02:24,635
I made all the vegetables
disappear.

59
00:02:24,676 --> 00:02:26,971
Usually, a lot more than this
happens in 30 minutes
is all I'm saying.

60
00:02:27,012 --> 00:02:28,639
We're just relaxed and happy.

61
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,808
I care more about this
than anything I've ever
cared about.

62
00:02:30,849 --> 00:02:32,977
Best $199 I've ever spent.

63
00:02:33,018 --> 00:02:34,728
It's three dollars.

64
00:02:34,770 --> 00:02:36,647
What are you playing?

65
00:02:36,688 --> 00:02:40,317
That's control software
for some kind of
irrigation equipment.

66
00:02:41,819 --> 00:02:43,112
It's fun.

67
00:02:43,153 --> 00:02:45,363
Save Greendale committee,
unite.

68
00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:47,741
Boom.
An insurance appraiser
is coming tomorrow

69
00:02:47,783 --> 00:02:50,243
to inspect the school,
and if he doesn't
appraise us good,

70
00:02:50,285 --> 00:02:52,121
the school is doomed,
doomed.

71
00:02:52,161 --> 00:02:53,914
Call to adventure.
Call to adventure.

72
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,624
What's an insurance appraiser?

73
00:02:55,666 --> 00:02:57,375
Something that sounds
normal and boring

74
00:02:57,417 --> 00:03:00,671
but is actually scary,
like a raised mole
or a turkey deep fryer.

75
00:03:00,712 --> 00:03:03,132
There's only one man
qualified to appraise
insurance,

76
00:03:03,172 --> 00:03:05,174
and he died 2,000 years ago
on a cross.

77
00:03:05,216 --> 00:03:08,219
I've seen
insurance appraisers bleed.

78
00:03:08,261 --> 00:03:11,264
Their blood's different,
darker.

79
00:03:11,306 --> 00:03:13,350
Everyone, take a breath.

80
00:03:13,391 --> 00:03:16,520
You're overreacting
because this school
is addicted to crisis.

81
00:03:16,561 --> 00:03:18,396
They're like one
of those hurricane
Katrina dogs

82
00:03:18,438 --> 00:03:20,440
that won't let anyone
pet them anymore.

83
00:03:20,482 --> 00:03:23,986
But the weird thing
we need to get used to
is this:

84
00:03:24,028 --> 00:03:25,403
The school's in decent shape.

85
00:03:25,445 --> 00:03:27,447
This doesn't have to be
a big deal.

86
00:03:27,489 --> 00:03:29,700
I wrote a paper
on those dogs.

87
00:03:32,661 --> 00:03:36,414
We've worked hard all semester
to save this school.

88
00:03:36,456 --> 00:03:39,001
Truth is, we did.

89
00:03:39,043 --> 00:03:40,794
So relax.

90
00:03:40,836 --> 00:03:42,880
Are you sure, Jeffrey?
I promise.

91
00:03:42,921 --> 00:03:44,631
Jeff's heart is in
the right place,
but he's wrong.

92
00:03:44,673 --> 00:03:47,843
Greendale is a crazy place
where crazy things happen.
I have a plan.

93
00:03:47,885 --> 00:03:49,970
We'll pretend our school
has a world renowned
physics department.

94
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:50,998
Dean,
start learning Swedish.

95
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:53,015
I'll do my best!

96
00:03:53,057 --> 00:03:54,683
Hickey, do you keep in touch
with any unstable criminals
that you busted?

97
00:03:54,725 --> 00:03:56,185
Mmm, five.

98
00:03:56,226 --> 00:03:57,895
Get them down here
for costume measurements.

99
00:03:57,936 --> 00:04:00,064
Annie, we need to make
a particle accelerator
out of Kleenex boxes.

100
00:04:00,105 --> 00:04:01,732
Nope.
Nobody do any of that.

101
00:04:01,773 --> 00:04:03,942
Abed, outside.

102
00:04:06,778 --> 00:04:08,238
There is no story.

103
00:04:08,279 --> 00:04:09,907
Everything's a story, Jeff.
Getting out of bed is a story.

104
00:04:09,948 --> 00:04:11,324
Certainly this is a story.

105
00:04:11,366 --> 00:04:12,701
I mean, start with
the study room.
We're content.

106
00:04:12,743 --> 00:04:14,536
I'm concerned.
Skip the fruit-matching stuff.

107
00:04:14,578 --> 00:04:16,663
Dean enters with
the insurance appraiser story,

108
00:04:16,705 --> 00:04:18,123
call, refusal.

109
00:04:18,165 --> 00:04:19,875
You're literally dragging me
across a threshold

110
00:04:19,917 --> 00:04:21,585
demanding there be no story,
which puts me

111
00:04:21,626 --> 00:04:23,087
into a whole new world
that I'm gonna have to
adapt to.

112
00:04:23,128 --> 00:04:25,296
Well, you have to do it
by yourself, please.

113
00:04:25,338 --> 00:04:27,591
Okay?
Because if this appraisal
is a story,

114
00:04:27,632 --> 00:04:30,594
that means we're in trouble,
and we are not in trouble,

115
00:04:30,635 --> 00:04:33,013
because if we are…

116
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,305
No more stories.

117
00:04:34,347 --> 00:04:35,891
Tada.

118
00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:38,769
So we'll see you later.

119
00:04:38,810 --> 00:04:40,229
After no story.

120
00:04:40,270 --> 00:04:41,813
No story.

121
00:04:43,607 --> 00:04:45,358
So be it.

122
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:47,277
Let the lack of story…

123
00:05:06,588 --> 00:05:08,298
Hey.

124
00:05:08,339 --> 00:05:10,300
Oh, put one trap
behind each cabinet.

125
00:05:10,341 --> 00:05:12,510
Although
I think we're good.

126
00:05:12,552 --> 00:05:14,429
The cafeteria food killed
most of the roaches anyway.

127
00:05:14,471 --> 00:05:16,807
Hey, check it out.

128
00:05:16,848 --> 00:05:18,016
Is this a wedding ring?

129
00:05:18,058 --> 00:05:19,044
Are you kidding?

130
00:05:19,059 --> 00:05:20,477
What…

131
00:05:20,518 --> 00:05:22,104
Aw…

132
00:05:22,146 --> 00:05:23,981
I lost this
my first week here.

133
00:05:24,022 --> 00:05:26,233
Oh,
who's the lucky…

134
00:05:27,358 --> 00:05:28,693
It's my mom's.

135
00:05:28,735 --> 00:05:30,528
I started wearing it
because… I don't know.

136
00:05:30,570 --> 00:05:32,322
Everybody dreams
of settling down, right?

137
00:05:34,783 --> 00:05:36,034
And because it fits.

138
00:05:36,076 --> 00:05:37,995
She had huge fingers
for a woman,

139
00:05:38,036 --> 00:05:39,204
part of what killed her,
really.

140
00:05:40,413 --> 00:05:42,540
I'm not dreaming
about settling down.

141
00:05:42,582 --> 00:05:44,042
Well,
maybe you already have.

142
00:05:44,084 --> 00:05:46,711
You're teaching,
and you like it.
You love Greendale.

143
00:05:46,753 --> 00:05:49,464
No,
I love scotch and myself.

144
00:05:49,506 --> 00:05:51,633
I tolerate Greendale.

145
00:05:51,675 --> 00:05:54,052
It's a good school.
That's why there's no need
for this to get sentimental.

146
00:05:54,094 --> 00:05:56,345
This inspection is going to be
the most boring thing

147
00:05:56,387 --> 00:05:58,015
to happen here
since Britta dated Troy.

148
00:05:59,266 --> 00:06:01,350
All right, no story.

149
00:06:01,810 --> 00:06:03,352
Wait.

150
00:06:03,394 --> 00:06:05,772
If there's no story,
what am I explaining?

151
00:06:05,814 --> 00:06:08,275
I'm in a story.

152
00:06:08,317 --> 00:06:10,152
Okay, think, Abed, think.

153
00:06:10,194 --> 00:06:12,361
How do you shake a story?

154
00:06:13,822 --> 00:06:16,033
The answer

155
00:06:16,074 --> 00:06:17,909
is in the teacher's lounge.

156
00:06:30,130 --> 00:06:32,132
Here he comes,
here he comes.
Okay.

157
00:06:33,508 --> 00:06:35,635
Hi, there.
My name is Ronald Mohammed.

158
00:06:35,677 --> 00:06:37,095
Go ahead.
I've heard them all.

159
00:06:37,137 --> 00:06:38,889
The city of Greendale
has sent me here

160
00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:42,184
to assess this campus' level
of liability.

161
00:06:42,226 --> 00:06:44,186
Now,
what do I mean by liability?

162
00:06:44,228 --> 00:06:45,979
Well, the city
defines liability

163
00:06:46,021 --> 00:06:48,690
as any asserted
or non-asserted perturbation

164
00:06:48,732 --> 00:06:51,151
by any qualifying party.

165
00:06:51,193 --> 00:06:52,485
What's a party?

166
00:06:52,527 --> 00:06:54,738
A party is a person
or a group of persons

167
00:06:54,779 --> 00:06:56,573
or an event
celebrating a person

168
00:06:56,614 --> 00:06:58,909
or a party of persons' birth,
marriage…

169
00:06:58,950 --> 00:07:01,452
Don't panic, Jeffrey.
Hmm?

170
00:07:01,494 --> 00:07:02,704
I'm fine.

171
00:07:02,746 --> 00:07:04,539
I'm the only one
who's not panicking.

172
00:07:04,581 --> 00:07:06,750
Oh, please.
You can lie to yourself,
but don't lie to me.

173
00:07:06,791 --> 00:07:11,796
But the city defines a dog
as any living entity
with four legs and a tail,

174
00:07:11,838 --> 00:07:15,550
so raccoons, bears,
mountain lions, mice

175
00:07:15,592 --> 00:07:18,095
these are all just
different sizes of dog.

176
00:07:18,136 --> 00:07:20,597
What do I mean by "size"?
I'll tell you a story.

177
00:07:20,638 --> 00:07:22,057
What's that
supposed to mean?

178
00:07:22,099 --> 00:07:24,017
I know how much you feel
for the campus, Jeff.

179
00:07:24,059 --> 00:07:25,560
I know how much you feel
in general.

180
00:07:25,602 --> 00:07:27,437
And I know you think
it's a weakness,

181
00:07:27,478 --> 00:07:29,564
but believe me,
it's your strength.

182
00:07:29,606 --> 00:07:30,774
You got something
in your teeth.

183
00:07:30,815 --> 00:07:32,483
Mmm-hmm, you got something
in your chest.

184
00:07:32,525 --> 00:07:36,487
400,000 gallons
of liquefied horse meat.

185
00:07:38,782 --> 00:07:40,284
Here I come.

186
00:07:50,752 --> 00:07:53,630
Just…

187
00:07:53,671 --> 00:07:57,301
"And you shall find
that salt is the taste
"of another man's bread,

188
00:07:57,342 --> 00:08:00,804
"and hard is the way
up and down
another man's stairs."

189
00:08:00,845 --> 00:08:02,847
Dante. Let's proceed.

190
00:08:15,610 --> 00:08:18,238
No!
It's always a story.

191
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,572
Everything is a story.

192
00:08:20,949 --> 00:08:22,533
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Story feeds on conflict.

193
00:08:22,575 --> 00:08:24,744
If I stop resisting,
it'll stop being a story.

194
00:08:26,788 --> 00:08:28,039
No, Abed.

195
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:30,875
Me with a beard?

196
00:08:30,917 --> 00:08:32,169
Keep fighting the story.

197
00:08:32,210 --> 00:08:34,421
Keep fighting it
until it falls apart.

198
00:08:34,463 --> 00:08:36,214
I'm right.

199
00:08:37,382 --> 00:08:39,050
I mean I'm wrong.

200
00:08:39,092 --> 00:08:40,551
I mean I'm right.
I mean I'm wrong.

201
00:08:40,593 --> 00:08:43,096
I mean I'm right.
I mean I'm wrong.

202
00:08:43,138 --> 00:08:44,931
I mean I'm right.
I mean I'm wrong.

203
00:08:44,973 --> 00:08:47,558
Unsubscribe.

204
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:49,727
For the final stage
of my appraisal,

205
00:08:49,769 --> 00:08:52,689
I am going to randomly select
one of your vending machines

206
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:55,275
to see if it can be rocked
using human strength

207
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,194
enough to tip and crush me.

208
00:08:57,235 --> 00:09:00,530
Now, in the U.S., each year,
six people die this way,

209
00:09:00,571 --> 00:09:02,615
and five of them
are insurance appraisers,

210
00:09:02,657 --> 00:09:04,701
so I take this very seriously.
Here we go.

211
00:09:20,008 --> 00:09:21,343
Okay.

212
00:09:21,385 --> 00:09:22,511
Whoo!
Sorry we're late.

213
00:09:22,552 --> 00:09:25,096
Hey, look.
It's Ronald Mohammed.

214
00:09:25,138 --> 00:09:27,265
How about that name?

215
00:09:27,307 --> 00:09:29,351
All right, Ronald,
what's the damage?

216
00:09:29,393 --> 00:09:32,645
How much is this scampy,
little hole in the earth
gonna cost us this year?

217
00:09:32,687 --> 00:09:35,065
Well,
your gas leak is repaired,

218
00:09:35,106 --> 00:09:37,817
all your fire exits
actually lead outside,

219
00:09:37,859 --> 00:09:40,237
and I am told
that no new species

220
00:09:40,278 --> 00:09:42,197
have been discovered here
in a week.

221
00:09:42,239 --> 00:09:44,741
I have to say, I was
brought in here to estimate
Greendale's liability,

222
00:09:44,782 --> 00:09:49,371
but at this point in time,
I'd describe this campus
as an actual property asset.

223
00:09:52,332 --> 00:09:54,042
This property has value.

224
00:09:55,793 --> 00:09:58,213
Yeah!
Best news ever!

225
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:07,931
This property has value.
It has value.

226
00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:10,308
That means we can sell it!
We can finally sell it!

227
00:10:10,350 --> 00:10:11,935
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait.

228
00:10:11,976 --> 00:10:13,603
Press "stop" on Dave Matthews.

229
00:10:14,563 --> 00:10:15,646
What did you just say?

230
00:10:15,688 --> 00:10:17,274
We can start
courting businesses

231
00:10:17,315 --> 00:10:19,401
to unload this school
on the private sector.

232
00:10:19,443 --> 00:10:20,610
What do you mean "unload it"?

233
00:10:20,651 --> 00:10:22,112
This is a huge chunk
of real estate,

234
00:10:22,153 --> 00:10:24,781
which generates
no tax revenue
and takes money

235
00:10:24,822 --> 00:10:26,491
from the education budget.

236
00:10:26,533 --> 00:10:28,535
That's because it's
a community college.

237
00:10:28,577 --> 00:10:30,661
Well, excuse us
for taking longer

238
00:10:30,703 --> 00:10:32,747
to see that was the problem.

239
00:10:32,789 --> 00:10:34,707
Maybe we're not
as smart as you.

240
00:10:34,749 --> 00:10:36,793
I mean,
we only went to Yale.

241
00:10:36,834 --> 00:10:38,378
Oh, no, you didn't.

242
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:39,963
Yes, I did.
Oh!

243
00:10:40,004 --> 00:10:41,714
Oh, hey, we should call
T.J. Maxx right away.

244
00:10:41,756 --> 00:10:43,883
Dude, I told you.
This jacket looks fine.

245
00:10:43,925 --> 00:10:46,470
No, to talk about
selling this place.

246
00:10:46,511 --> 00:10:48,597
Oh, right.
Yeah, T.J. Maxx, Marshalls.

247
00:10:48,638 --> 00:10:49,764
What about Ben & Jerry's?

248
00:10:49,806 --> 00:10:51,433
Oh, Richie,
you're my friend,

249
00:10:51,475 --> 00:10:53,602
but that is the last thing
you need.

250
00:10:53,643 --> 00:10:55,520
Tough love received, bro.

251
00:10:58,648 --> 00:11:00,525
I did it.
This school is story-free.

252
00:11:00,567 --> 00:11:02,360
We can be content now forever.

253
00:11:05,029 --> 00:11:06,531
Ahhh!

254
00:11:09,326 --> 00:11:12,245
Let me be one of the six
this year.

255
00:11:12,287 --> 00:11:15,332
Craig, Craig, this vending
machine is not gonna
tip over and crush you.

256
00:11:15,373 --> 00:11:17,208
Why not?
Why?

257
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:21,254
Because we fixed it
when we saved Greendale.

258
00:11:26,217 --> 00:11:28,470
We saved Greendale.

259
00:11:30,472 --> 00:11:32,641
And now they're gonna sell it.

260
00:11:43,985 --> 00:11:47,197
If I come over there,
there are gonna be
two sounds…

261
00:11:47,238 --> 00:11:49,533
Me hitting you twice.

262
00:11:54,454 --> 00:11:56,498
Hello, Greendale,
as you know,

263
00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:59,708
our school will soon
be replaced by
a sandwich university.

264
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:03,463
However, every ending
is also a beginning.

265
00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:05,590
Sure,
things may look bad now.

266
00:12:05,632 --> 00:12:07,716
Some of us may have
no idea where we're going
or what to do.

267
00:12:09,010 --> 00:12:10,970
But…

268
00:12:11,012 --> 00:12:12,889
Okay, okay,
I should have
written this out.

269
00:12:12,930 --> 00:12:15,433
I thought I'd be able
to come up with something
on the fly.

270
00:12:16,142 --> 00:12:19,229
Moving on to phase two:

271
00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:22,106
The actual saving
of Greendale.

272
00:12:22,148 --> 00:12:23,608
Annie…

273
00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:26,611
I've generated a few ideas
involving social media

274
00:12:26,653 --> 00:12:29,030
that I think
might do the trick.

275
00:12:29,072 --> 00:12:32,116
Annie…
You want us to tweet
"save Greendale"?

276
00:12:32,158 --> 00:12:36,621
I'm sorry, Annie.
The reason I have 48 followers
is that I don't exploit them.

277
00:12:36,663 --> 00:12:38,998
They come to me
for atheistic rants and photos

278
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,334
of my meals,
not this obnoxiousness.

279
00:12:41,376 --> 00:12:45,171
We need to make people aware
that Greendale exists
and needs help.

280
00:12:45,213 --> 00:12:48,508
Why?
Because once the internet
knows about something,

281
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:49,926
it changes.

282
00:12:49,967 --> 00:12:51,928
Right.
Just ask Chris Brown or China.

283
00:12:54,472 --> 00:12:55,932
Jeff,
you made Annie cry.

284
00:12:55,973 --> 00:12:57,726
Well, if it's any consolation,

285
00:12:57,766 --> 00:12:59,561
this is the last time
that will ever happen.

286
00:13:01,688 --> 00:13:03,356
I know
how to save Greendale.

287
00:13:04,524 --> 00:13:06,401
Treasure.
Buried treasure.

288
00:13:08,319 --> 00:13:10,614
Okay, I'm tapped.

289
00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:12,323
We all wish we could
do something, Annie,

290
00:13:12,365 --> 00:13:16,827
but I think that concludes
the last meeting

291
00:13:16,869 --> 00:13:19,163
of the save Greendale
committee,

292
00:13:19,205 --> 00:13:21,082
the committee that did
its darnedest.

293
00:13:21,124 --> 00:13:23,209
Wait.

294
00:13:23,251 --> 00:13:24,835
Are we sure
we can't stop the school
from being sold to subway?

295
00:13:24,877 --> 00:13:26,504
I'm afraid so, Chang.

296
00:13:26,546 --> 00:13:29,549
Okay,
I just wanted to make sure.

297
00:13:29,591 --> 00:13:32,176
Haha,
screw you guys.

298
00:13:32,218 --> 00:13:34,971
It's time to get paid.

299
00:13:45,898 --> 00:13:50,069
Chang just unexpectedly
betrayed the group
for the last time.

300
00:13:54,532 --> 00:13:57,494
Greendale is going to make
a great Subway
sandwich university.

301
00:13:57,535 --> 00:13:59,203
You know, research
shows most of
your graduates

302
00:13:59,245 --> 00:14:01,122
end up working for
our restaurants anyway.

303
00:14:01,164 --> 00:14:03,750
That's by design.
We're very proud
of our school.

304
00:14:03,792 --> 00:14:05,293
Proud of Subway's school.

305
00:14:05,335 --> 00:14:07,337
This campus is yours now.

306
00:14:07,378 --> 00:14:10,839
If you want to dynamite it,
all we ask is that you let us
light the fuse.

307
00:14:10,881 --> 00:14:12,676
Yeah, we hate this place.

308
00:14:12,717 --> 00:14:14,093
You just said
you were proud of it.

309
00:14:14,135 --> 00:14:17,138
Oh, proud of its potential.
Love its potential.

310
00:14:17,180 --> 00:14:18,640
This will be your office.

311
00:14:20,433 --> 00:14:22,477
Why?

312
00:14:23,978 --> 00:14:26,648
Okay,
we'll check in on that later.

313
00:14:26,690 --> 00:14:29,734
What's the matter, guys?
Can't wait until
Greendale's corpse is cold

314
00:14:29,776 --> 00:14:31,820
before you put it
on a six inch white bun?

315
00:14:31,861 --> 00:14:33,488
Young lady,
that's not fair.

316
00:14:33,530 --> 00:14:36,282
Subway doesn't call
its bread "buns,"
and we don't serve white.

317
00:14:36,324 --> 00:14:39,369
We serve Italian, honey oat,
nine-grain wheat.

318
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:41,954
Great, thanks for making
my joke accurate.
Now it's hilarious.

319
00:14:41,996 --> 00:14:43,581
Classes are over, kids.

320
00:14:43,623 --> 00:14:45,082
We're helping the Dean pack.

321
00:14:45,124 --> 00:14:46,917
This is still Greendale
for two hours.

322
00:14:46,959 --> 00:14:48,211
Enjoy it.

323
00:14:51,715 --> 00:14:53,299
Wait.

324
00:14:53,341 --> 00:14:54,967
You don't call
your bread "buns."
What do you call them?

325
00:14:55,635 --> 00:14:58,012
Bread.

326
00:14:58,054 --> 00:15:01,182
Well, bread is a substance.
What do you call the units
of bread you use, "breads"?

327
00:15:07,772 --> 00:15:10,692
You okay?
I just wish we had more time.

328
00:15:10,734 --> 00:15:12,652
I could turn things around.
I swear.

329
00:15:12,694 --> 00:15:15,488
Look, I got
one of these label things.

330
00:15:15,530 --> 00:15:18,949
It makes custom labels.

331
00:15:18,991 --> 00:15:21,911
This was gonna help me
get organized.

332
00:15:23,246 --> 00:15:26,290
Aw.

333
00:15:26,332 --> 00:15:28,543
Where should we start?
Should we pack up
these pictures?

334
00:15:28,585 --> 00:15:30,670
They're not really mine.

335
00:15:30,712 --> 00:15:32,630
They're Greendale history.

336
00:15:32,672 --> 00:15:36,092
Here's our 1987
civil rights march.

337
00:15:36,133 --> 00:15:39,721
This was when we started
offering Photoshop classes.

338
00:15:39,763 --> 00:15:42,098
And that's Russell Borchert.

339
00:15:42,139 --> 00:15:43,641
Oh.

340
00:15:43,683 --> 00:15:45,184
"Borchert, Borchert,
loved computers"

341
00:15:45,226 --> 00:15:47,103
Yes, yes,
"More than women's butts
or hooters."

342
00:15:47,144 --> 00:15:48,479
Very mature,
you two.

343
00:15:50,147 --> 00:15:52,066
Was there any truth
to that legend?

344
00:15:52,108 --> 00:15:54,444
The legend that
a Greendale computer professor

345
00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:56,195
made love to a computer

346
00:15:56,237 --> 00:15:59,156
and died of the first
computer virus? Sure.

347
00:15:59,198 --> 00:16:02,285
The truth is, Greendale
had a computer professor.

348
00:16:02,326 --> 00:16:05,079
By the way,
he was a millionaire
and a genius.

349
00:16:05,121 --> 00:16:08,541
He has sex with one computer,
and that's his legacy?

350
00:16:08,583 --> 00:16:11,210
So after all my work,
how will I be remembered?

351
00:16:11,252 --> 00:16:13,588
The bald dean with glasses,
I guess.

352
00:16:13,630 --> 00:16:15,632
Are you aware
there's an engraved plate
on this frame

353
00:16:15,673 --> 00:16:17,007
that says "the truth is
behind this picture"?

354
00:16:17,049 --> 00:16:19,761
Of course I'm aware, Abed.
I'm not an idiot.

355
00:16:19,803 --> 00:16:22,012
Whoa, wait.
It meant literally?

356
00:16:22,054 --> 00:16:23,973
What is it?

357
00:16:36,986 --> 00:16:40,072
I understand you were teaching
fundamentals of law here.
Yeah.

358
00:16:40,114 --> 00:16:43,576
Think you could
make the transition
to teaching sandwich law?

359
00:16:43,618 --> 00:16:46,078
It's essentially the same,
I'm sure,

360
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:47,914
just a bit more focused.

361
00:16:48,331 --> 00:16:49,666
Here.

362
00:16:49,707 --> 00:16:51,709
That's a Subway black card.

363
00:16:51,751 --> 00:16:54,796
It entitles you
to five dollar foot-longs
for life.

364
00:16:56,005 --> 00:16:58,925
For life, Mr. Winger,
for life.

365
00:17:14,482 --> 00:17:16,066
Hey.
Hey.

366
00:17:18,402 --> 00:17:20,237
So…

367
00:17:20,279 --> 00:17:21,531
What are you going to do?

368
00:17:21,572 --> 00:17:23,533
I'm thinking I'm gonna
transfer to city college,

369
00:17:23,574 --> 00:17:25,535
but I'm knowing
I'm gonna be a bartender.

370
00:17:25,576 --> 00:17:27,871
You?

371
00:17:27,912 --> 00:17:29,330
Subway offered me a job.

372
00:17:29,372 --> 00:17:30,414
Nice.

373
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,668
I'm worried about
Abed and Annie.

374
00:17:33,710 --> 00:17:35,545
They're not ready
for this to end.

375
00:17:35,586 --> 00:17:38,047
Yeah, they're part
of the adulthood
begins at 30 generation.

376
00:17:38,088 --> 00:17:41,843
I'm… I'm actually
looking forward
to a little bit of…

377
00:17:41,885 --> 00:17:44,387
Sanity?
Yes, sanity.

378
00:17:44,428 --> 00:17:46,723
Yeah, I mean, it's over,
but on the other hand,

379
00:17:46,764 --> 00:17:47,974
it's over.

380
00:17:48,016 --> 00:17:49,392
Amen.

381
00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:52,144
And to think this all started
because you wanted to…

382
00:17:52,186 --> 00:17:53,270
Nail you.

383
00:17:53,312 --> 00:17:55,272
Yeah,
I regret nothing.

384
00:17:55,314 --> 00:17:56,691
Don't.

385
00:17:56,733 --> 00:17:59,193
I mean, after everything
that has happened here,

386
00:17:59,235 --> 00:18:02,697
what did either of us
really get done
aside from each other?

387
00:18:02,739 --> 00:18:07,201
Exactly, and what are either
of us gonna be leaving with?

388
00:18:15,043 --> 00:18:17,921
Um, I should go clean out
my locker,

389
00:18:17,962 --> 00:18:20,089
she said at the age of 33.

390
00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,720
Let's get married.

391
00:18:25,762 --> 00:18:27,722
What?
Yeah, right?

392
00:18:27,764 --> 00:18:30,850
I mean,
this is what matters,
isn't it?

393
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:33,061
This is what keeps this all
from being pointless.

394
00:18:33,102 --> 00:18:34,228
Let's do what people do.

395
00:18:34,270 --> 00:18:35,813
Let's get a house
we can't afford

396
00:18:35,855 --> 00:18:37,023
and a dog that makes us angry.

397
00:18:37,065 --> 00:18:39,358
And dedicate an entire cabinet
to grocery bags

398
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,527
and realize we have
a favorite brand of olive oil?

399
00:18:41,569 --> 00:18:42,946
Yes, marry me.

400
00:18:42,987 --> 00:18:45,322
Okay, yeah.

401
00:18:48,785 --> 00:18:51,829
Yeah, uh, yeah,
this feels right.

402
00:18:51,871 --> 00:18:54,290
Let's get out of here
and never look back.

403
00:18:54,331 --> 00:18:56,042
Yeah, but first,
let's lock these doors

404
00:18:56,084 --> 00:18:57,376
and pull these shades.

405
00:18:57,418 --> 00:18:58,920
We've never had sex
on the new table.

406
00:18:58,962 --> 00:19:01,047
Yes,
two for two.

407
00:19:01,089 --> 00:19:03,257
Medium roughness,
high tempo?

408
00:19:03,299 --> 00:19:05,175
Let's make it
a number eight.

409
00:19:09,097 --> 00:19:11,808
Buried treasure!
Whoo!

410
00:19:11,849 --> 00:19:13,350
Buried treasure!

411
00:19:13,392 --> 00:19:15,103
Lock the doors.
Close the blinds.

412
00:19:15,144 --> 00:19:17,855
We could save Greendale, Jeff.

413
00:19:17,897 --> 00:19:22,110
There may be treasure
on campus.

414
00:19:22,151 --> 00:19:23,987
Hidden, buried treasure.

415
00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:25,488
Treasure!

416
00:19:25,529 --> 00:19:26,781
We need to call
an emergency meeting

417
00:19:26,823 --> 00:19:29,199
somewhere safe where no one
can hear or see,

418
00:19:29,241 --> 00:19:31,452
because we have to
keep this a secret,

419
00:19:31,494 --> 00:19:34,580
because it's a buried…

420
00:19:34,622 --> 00:19:36,457
Treasure!

421
00:19:36,499 --> 00:19:38,208
Buried treasure!

422
00:19:48,803 --> 00:19:50,680
Interesting.

423
00:19:50,721 --> 00:19:52,515
Emergency meeting.

424
00:19:58,312 --> 00:20:00,564
And that's how I ended up
at Greendale.

425
00:20:00,606 --> 00:20:03,567
Isn't it strange how it took
this school shutting down

426
00:20:03,609 --> 00:20:05,444
for you and I to finally
get to know each other?

427
00:20:05,486 --> 00:20:06,988
So what's up next for you?

428
00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:09,824
Don't know, maybe go stay
with family in Lincolnshire.

429
00:20:09,866 --> 00:20:11,784
Lincolnshire?
Yeah.

430
00:20:11,826 --> 00:20:12,994
Where in Lincolnshire?

431
00:20:13,036 --> 00:20:14,745
Just a little town
called Scunthorpe.

432
00:20:14,787 --> 00:20:17,790
Scunthorpe?
I was stationed
around Scunthorpe.

433
00:20:17,832 --> 00:20:19,792
No.
Oh, wait, wait.

434
00:20:33,597 --> 00:20:35,058
I love that.

435
00:20:35,099 --> 00:20:37,560
Oh, where in god's name
did you learn that song?

436
00:20:37,601 --> 00:20:38,769
Stainsbury pub.

437
00:20:38,811 --> 00:20:40,604
My family practically
lived in Stainsbury's.

438
00:20:40,646 --> 00:20:43,066
I lost my virginity
at Stainsbury's.

439
00:20:43,107 --> 00:20:45,484
My mother was
a Stainsbury whore.

440
00:20:52,867 --> 00:20:54,451
Mine was missing a thumb.

441
00:20:54,493 --> 00:20:55,953
Oh, my God.

442
00:20:58,622 --> 00:21:00,958
Two thumbs, yeah,
she got both.
Two thumbs.

443
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:05,421
I mean, you may have
slept with my aunt,

444
00:21:05,462 --> 00:21:08,007
but given the circumstances,
cheers.

445
00:21:08,049 --> 00:21:10,051
Cheers, yeah.
Yeah.

446
00:21:10,093 --> 00:21:12,469
Mmm, so you're gonna

447
00:21:12,511 --> 00:21:14,972
stay with your family
till you get your bearings?

448
00:21:15,014 --> 00:21:18,267
I've got a cousin, Clive,
who's got a spare room.

449
00:21:18,308 --> 00:21:19,936
You and he would really
get along, actually.

450
00:21:19,977 --> 00:21:21,562
Really?
Yeah.

451
00:21:28,069 --> 00:21:29,278
Did you get any of that?