1 00:00:01,737 --> 00:00:03,864 This is from all of us, Troy. 2 00:00:03,905 --> 00:00:05,324 When you're sailing around the world, 3 00:00:05,366 --> 00:00:07,868 you'll be going through a lot of countries, 4 00:00:07,909 --> 00:00:10,538 so we got you a universal translator. 5 00:00:11,955 --> 00:00:13,415 Cool. Bueno. 6 00:00:13,457 --> 00:00:15,543 Bueno? Cool. 7 00:00:15,584 --> 00:00:17,336 Thanks, guys. 8 00:00:17,378 --> 00:00:19,380 I didn't know going-away parties could be so much fun. 9 00:00:19,421 --> 00:00:20,715 I should leave all the time. 10 00:00:20,756 --> 00:00:23,217 Let's not forget it's okay to be sad too. 11 00:00:23,258 --> 00:00:25,469 Britta, do you get kickbacks from big buzzkill? 12 00:00:25,511 --> 00:00:27,179 I'm serious. We know. 13 00:00:27,221 --> 00:00:30,474 The truth is, a member of our family is leaving. 14 00:00:30,516 --> 00:00:31,892 For a year, maybe more. 15 00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:34,061 Psychology has taught me the human mind has 16 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:36,814 a tendency to rechannel separation anxiety 17 00:00:36,856 --> 00:00:40,776 in the form of frivolity and giddiness, and… 18 00:00:40,818 --> 00:00:42,902 I don't want us to waste our chance 19 00:00:42,944 --> 00:00:45,823 to acknowledge how much we're gonna miss you. 20 00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:49,577 Attention, Greendale. Oh, announcements! 21 00:00:49,618 --> 00:00:51,036 Announcements! 22 00:00:51,078 --> 00:00:52,287 Oh, I love these. Whoo! Announcements! 23 00:00:52,329 --> 00:00:54,956 I'm standing here with Abed Nadir, 24 00:00:54,998 --> 00:00:58,460 who has chosen to give his best friend, Troy, 25 00:00:58,502 --> 00:01:02,130 the very special going-away present of declaring 26 00:01:02,172 --> 00:01:05,926 a school-wide game of Hot Lava! 27 00:01:05,967 --> 00:01:07,595 Cool! Ooh, that sounds like fun! 28 00:01:07,636 --> 00:01:09,513 What? No! Process your feelings. 29 00:01:09,555 --> 00:01:11,306 Hot lava is the sweet, classic 30 00:01:11,348 --> 00:01:14,059 children's game in which you are not allowed 31 00:01:14,101 --> 00:01:17,145 to touch the floor, or you're dead. 32 00:01:17,187 --> 00:01:18,355 I think it's cute, 33 00:01:18,397 --> 00:01:20,775 and while I normally don't condone 34 00:01:20,816 --> 00:01:22,276 climbing on furniture, 35 00:01:22,317 --> 00:01:24,779 Troy and Abed's friendship has been such 36 00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:26,946 a special and magical part of Greendale, 37 00:01:26,988 --> 00:01:30,492 we owe it to ourselves to honor it. 38 00:01:30,534 --> 00:01:32,119 Abed, anything to add? 39 00:01:32,160 --> 00:01:34,455 Yes, take this seriously. Stay on furniture. 40 00:01:34,496 --> 00:01:35,955 No books, no bags. The dead can't talk. 41 00:01:35,997 --> 00:01:37,416 No coming back as a lava monster. 42 00:01:37,458 --> 00:01:38,834 Ooh! Yes! 43 00:01:38,876 --> 00:01:40,168 Hot lava! 44 00:01:40,210 --> 00:01:42,630 Come on, guys, this is classic avoidance. 45 00:01:42,671 --> 00:01:43,963 I have to go talk to him. 46 00:01:44,005 --> 00:01:45,215 Oh, and because the non-awesome 47 00:01:45,257 --> 00:01:46,926 often need incentive to do awesome stuff, 48 00:01:46,966 --> 00:01:49,052 the final survivor will win my near-mint condition 49 00:01:49,094 --> 00:01:50,429 number one issue of Space Clone, 50 00:01:50,471 --> 00:01:54,141 valued by the Comics Authority at $50,000. 51 00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:55,183 I'm sorry? 52 00:01:55,225 --> 00:01:57,311 The floor turns to lava in 10… 53 00:01:57,352 --> 00:02:00,648 Nine, eight, seven… 54 00:02:00,689 --> 00:02:02,107 Did you say 15 or 50,000? 55 00:02:02,149 --> 00:02:03,567 Six… Oh, who am I kidding? 56 00:02:03,609 --> 00:02:05,360 Help, lava! 57 00:02:05,402 --> 00:02:09,406 Five, four, three, two… 58 00:02:24,505 --> 00:02:26,173 Professor Duncan? 59 00:02:26,214 --> 00:02:28,091 You stay back, Britta! I'm not afraid 60 00:02:28,133 --> 00:02:30,636 to push a girl into make-believe lava. 61 00:02:30,678 --> 00:02:32,554 In fact, it's been my primary strategy. 62 00:02:32,596 --> 00:02:34,348 I'm staying in the game, so I can talk to Abed. 63 00:02:34,389 --> 00:02:35,390 I'm worried about him. 64 00:02:35,432 --> 00:02:37,058 What I'm worried about is money. 65 00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:39,979 My self-published novels aren't going to publish themselves. 66 00:02:40,020 --> 00:02:42,815 Don't regress to primal behavior just because it's allowed. 67 00:02:42,857 --> 00:02:46,318 We're human beings, not the editors of Teen Vogue. 68 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:48,445 They're setting a terrible example for today's young women. 69 00:02:48,487 --> 00:02:49,571 Well, I'm sorry, Britta, 70 00:02:49,613 --> 00:02:51,573 but it's either you or me… 71 00:02:51,615 --> 00:02:53,534 And I'm me. 72 00:02:53,575 --> 00:02:55,034 No! Yes, yes, yes! 73 00:03:01,208 --> 00:03:02,459 Real nice, Winger. 74 00:03:02,501 --> 00:03:04,837 This is why the English never win any sports. 75 00:03:04,879 --> 00:03:08,590 'Cause everyone else cheats! 76 00:03:08,632 --> 00:03:10,718 Britta, there you are. 77 00:03:10,759 --> 00:03:13,387 Sweet, sweet, portable chairs. 78 00:03:13,428 --> 00:03:16,515 Plastic gold. Four-legged diamonds. 79 00:03:16,557 --> 00:03:17,543 You claiming this? 80 00:03:17,558 --> 00:03:19,643 Lava joust? 81 00:03:19,685 --> 00:03:21,729 Did you all hit your heads on each other's heads? 82 00:03:21,770 --> 00:03:22,980 Let's get real, Britta. 83 00:03:23,022 --> 00:03:24,231 Once the last of the chairs are gone, 84 00:03:24,272 --> 00:03:26,400 a sofa hopper like you won't last 20 minutes. 85 00:03:26,441 --> 00:03:27,860 You want to join this alliance, 86 00:03:27,902 --> 00:03:29,904 or you want to join the lava? Fine. 87 00:03:29,945 --> 00:03:32,239 But I'm not learning the new names for anything. 88 00:03:33,448 --> 00:03:35,743 Centipeding isn't the fastest form of travel, 89 00:03:35,784 --> 00:03:37,160 but if we find more chairs, 90 00:03:37,202 --> 00:03:39,914 we can do the inchworm, scootenanny, 91 00:03:39,955 --> 00:03:41,665 the reverse Danny Thomas. 92 00:03:41,707 --> 00:03:43,542 Do you think this game's gotten a little out of hand? 93 00:03:43,584 --> 00:03:45,126 Eh, feels normal enough for a school 94 00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:47,004 that's on 911's blocked caller list. 95 00:03:47,046 --> 00:03:49,130 And I like that Abed wanted to send Troy off in a cool way. 96 00:03:49,172 --> 00:03:51,341 Send him off or put off sending him? 97 00:03:51,383 --> 00:03:52,676 I think this imaginary lava 98 00:03:52,718 --> 00:03:54,970 might symbolize Abed's fear of change. 99 00:03:55,012 --> 00:03:56,388 I think that diagnosis symbolizes 100 00:03:56,430 --> 00:03:57,765 your lack of a psych degree. 101 00:03:57,806 --> 00:03:59,767 Mama mahogany, feast your feet 102 00:03:59,808 --> 00:04:01,936 on that stack of sticks. 103 00:04:01,977 --> 00:04:03,604 Eh, too easy. Could be a trap. 104 00:04:03,645 --> 00:04:06,440 As if someone else is taking this game as seriously as you. 105 00:04:06,481 --> 00:04:08,609 Let's keep this centipede rolling. Give me a chair. 106 00:04:08,650 --> 00:04:10,485 Ugh, so stupid. 107 00:04:10,527 --> 00:04:12,613 Come on. 108 00:04:12,654 --> 00:04:14,364 Shh, shh! Locker, locker, locker. 109 00:04:14,406 --> 00:04:16,033 Locker, locker. Locker boys! 110 00:04:17,117 --> 00:04:20,495 Locker! 111 00:04:20,537 --> 00:04:23,415 Winger, Edison, and Perry. 112 00:04:23,457 --> 00:04:25,751 What a delicious combination. 113 00:04:25,793 --> 00:04:28,420 Lock, lock! 114 00:04:28,462 --> 00:04:30,589 What are we getting from this extra level of commitment? 115 00:04:30,631 --> 00:04:32,633 We're getting your chairs, your food, 116 00:04:32,674 --> 00:04:34,927 and the names of your same-sex celebrity crushes. 117 00:04:34,969 --> 00:04:36,595 Everyone has one, don't lie. 118 00:04:36,637 --> 00:04:39,139 Then you're free to go… Into lava! 119 00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:40,348 Lock, lock. 120 00:04:40,390 --> 00:04:42,059 Ooh-whoo-ooh! 121 00:04:48,941 --> 00:04:50,776 Stand down or meet your doom, Chang. 122 00:04:50,818 --> 00:04:53,570 You're in no position to make threats, floor strider. 123 00:04:53,612 --> 00:04:56,364 Our truce ended when you banished us from the pay phone bench. 124 00:04:56,406 --> 00:04:58,283 You used that bench to upset the balance. 125 00:04:58,325 --> 00:05:01,202 By the vapors of Magmarath, we will restore it. 126 00:05:01,244 --> 00:05:04,331 You have gods? Locker boys! 127 00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:05,707 Earn your M&M'S! 128 00:05:05,749 --> 00:05:07,042 Locker! 129 00:05:07,084 --> 00:05:09,962 Troy and Abed intimidation stance. 130 00:05:14,466 --> 00:05:16,343 I guess that actually looked the way it did in my head. 131 00:05:26,812 --> 00:05:28,396 Hiya, kids. 132 00:05:28,438 --> 00:05:31,483 I'm criminology professor Buzz Hickey, 133 00:05:31,525 --> 00:05:33,068 and this… 134 00:05:33,110 --> 00:05:35,236 This is just a little something I threw together. 135 00:05:42,995 --> 00:05:44,412 Aah! 136 00:05:44,454 --> 00:05:45,539 Jump! 137 00:05:46,999 --> 00:05:49,250 Aah! 138 00:05:49,292 --> 00:05:50,794 Centipede, centipede! Okay! 139 00:05:54,255 --> 00:05:57,551 Pull harder! Pull harder! Pull harder! 140 00:05:58,927 --> 00:06:01,180 My same-sex celebrity crush is Nathan Fillion! 141 00:06:02,472 --> 00:06:04,599 Nathan Fillion! 142 00:06:04,641 --> 00:06:07,102 Jeff, Annie! Get to Shirley Island. We'll meet you there. 143 00:06:07,144 --> 00:06:08,854 Abed, save yourself! 144 00:06:08,896 --> 00:06:12,273 Abed, before Troy "dies in lava," 145 00:06:12,315 --> 00:06:14,735 you can save yourself emotionally 146 00:06:14,776 --> 00:06:19,280 by honestly experiencing the pain of him leaving Greendale! 147 00:06:19,322 --> 00:06:20,657 We can do this in three steps. 148 00:06:20,699 --> 00:06:21,867 Britta, jump to that trash can. 149 00:06:22,617 --> 00:06:23,702 Troy, start inchworming. 150 00:06:23,744 --> 00:06:24,953 What's the third step? 151 00:06:24,995 --> 00:06:26,413 The third step's survival. Good luck, Britta. 152 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,707 Seriously? Troy! 153 00:06:28,749 --> 00:06:30,959 Sorry, Britta, Abed knows best. 154 00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:33,503 But I'll always remember you as kind of slowing us down and complaining a lot. 155 00:06:33,545 --> 00:06:37,216 Oh, my… No! 156 00:06:42,721 --> 00:06:44,014 They abandoned you? 157 00:06:44,056 --> 00:06:46,183 This game's doing bad things to people. 158 00:06:46,225 --> 00:06:47,559 Now me, I'm just in it for the money. 159 00:06:47,601 --> 00:06:49,228 My son's getting gay married. 160 00:06:49,268 --> 00:06:51,772 The flowers alone, you have no idea. 161 00:06:52,814 --> 00:06:54,482 I get it. 162 00:06:54,524 --> 00:06:56,068 I lived in New York. 163 00:06:59,071 --> 00:07:00,864 All right, Miss Perry, climb aboard. 164 00:07:00,906 --> 00:07:02,616 It's fake killing time. 165 00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:18,840 Welcome to Shirley Island. 166 00:07:20,968 --> 00:07:22,136 No furniture beyond this point. 167 00:07:22,177 --> 00:07:23,386 Leave your weapons at the door 168 00:07:23,428 --> 00:07:25,305 and any spare doors at the entrance. 169 00:07:28,433 --> 00:07:31,270 Then came the now-now times… 170 00:07:31,311 --> 00:07:32,980 When the floors were covered… Ah. 171 00:07:33,021 --> 00:07:34,731 …with the burny touch. 172 00:07:34,773 --> 00:07:36,691 Ooh. 173 00:07:39,402 --> 00:07:40,445 You made it. 174 00:07:40,487 --> 00:07:42,489 Friends! Welcome to Shirley Island, 175 00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:44,741 where all your dreams come true, 176 00:07:44,783 --> 00:07:46,910 if you dream of standing on a table and pissing in a jar. 177 00:07:46,952 --> 00:07:48,578 Where's Britta? 178 00:07:48,620 --> 00:07:50,831 She didn't make it. Oh, that's too bad. 179 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,584 Poor Britta. It's okay. 180 00:07:54,626 --> 00:07:56,795 Her sacrifice got us this far, and now we can't lose. 181 00:07:56,837 --> 00:07:58,172 Why not? 182 00:07:58,213 --> 00:07:59,464 Because now we're on Shirley Island, 183 00:07:59,506 --> 00:08:03,260 and according to legend, so is the orb. 184 00:08:03,302 --> 00:08:05,470 I'm sure I have no idea what you're speaking of. 185 00:08:05,512 --> 00:08:07,597 This is a place of peace. 186 00:08:07,639 --> 00:08:08,723 And profit. Come again? 187 00:08:08,765 --> 00:08:10,642 You're not really playing, Shirley. 188 00:08:10,684 --> 00:08:13,061 You're a merchant, and more power to you. 189 00:08:13,103 --> 00:08:16,148 But don't withhold power from others just to make money. 190 00:08:16,190 --> 00:08:17,357 We want the orb. 191 00:08:17,398 --> 00:08:18,398 Abed. 192 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:23,613 Listen, I'm still a little raw from what happened with Britta back there. 193 00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:25,532 I mean, fun is fun, but I don't want my last day here 194 00:08:25,573 --> 00:08:27,659 to be a day where everyone hates me. 195 00:08:29,161 --> 00:08:31,038 Last day? 196 00:08:31,079 --> 00:08:34,208 Citizens of Shirley Island! 197 00:08:34,249 --> 00:08:36,126 What have you brought to my door? 198 00:08:36,168 --> 00:08:39,087 Stay back! 199 00:08:39,129 --> 00:08:41,131 My God, it's Hickey. Aah! 200 00:08:41,173 --> 00:08:42,799 And he's got chair walkers! 201 00:08:47,428 --> 00:08:49,764 Come out with your feet on the floor, 202 00:08:49,806 --> 00:08:53,894 and there will be no need for nudging or jostling. 203 00:08:53,935 --> 00:08:56,230 I did not skip my son's birthday for second place! 204 00:09:04,321 --> 00:09:06,823 I want to say something to you guys about mental health. 205 00:09:06,865 --> 00:09:08,283 Is that Britta? Is she alive? 206 00:09:08,325 --> 00:09:09,368 Why did you think she was dead? 207 00:09:09,409 --> 00:09:11,870 We, kind of, left her. 208 00:09:11,912 --> 00:09:13,454 Left her for dead? 209 00:09:13,496 --> 00:09:14,706 Sounds bad when you put it that way. 210 00:09:14,748 --> 00:09:16,291 Can you put it a way that sounds good? 211 00:09:16,333 --> 00:09:19,669 You do realize this isn't just a pile of chairs, right? 212 00:09:19,711 --> 00:09:21,255 This is a crib, 213 00:09:21,296 --> 00:09:24,091 and you're curled up inside there, sucking your thumb, 214 00:09:24,132 --> 00:09:26,260 because you're too scared to say good-bye. 215 00:09:26,301 --> 00:09:28,428 Well, it's time to grow up. 216 00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:31,765 The adults are here, and we're gonna tear down your fort. 217 00:09:31,806 --> 00:09:34,351 Chair walkers, attack! 218 00:09:48,198 --> 00:09:50,867 My name was Vicki! Tell my story! 219 00:09:50,909 --> 00:09:52,702 These are my only pants! I can't get them dirty! 220 00:09:52,744 --> 00:09:54,204 I'm actually British! 221 00:09:54,246 --> 00:09:55,663 Leonard! Butter 'em up! 222 00:09:55,705 --> 00:09:56,705 You got it! 223 00:10:08,843 --> 00:10:12,264 Cirque du so long, you high-stepping acro-bastards! 224 00:10:12,306 --> 00:10:13,681 Do you have any rolling chairs? 225 00:10:13,723 --> 00:10:14,933 Behind the curtain. 226 00:10:14,975 --> 00:10:18,437 Abandon fort! Women and man-children first! 227 00:10:18,478 --> 00:10:22,232 Hey, seat feet! Chair to dance? 228 00:10:27,154 --> 00:10:28,488 Aah! 229 00:10:31,074 --> 00:10:32,909 Yes! 230 00:10:33,410 --> 00:10:34,577 Aah! 231 00:10:35,954 --> 00:10:37,247 Britta, I'm your friend. 232 00:10:37,289 --> 00:10:39,166 I can't hear dead people, Annie. 233 00:10:39,207 --> 00:10:41,084 I'm in a world of imagination. 234 00:10:41,126 --> 00:10:43,920 Ha! Then imagine what the floor looks like. 235 00:10:43,962 --> 00:10:46,798 I don't have to. I'll just imagine where you're about to be! 236 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,758 That's the same as imagining the floor. 237 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,677 Then you just admitted that's where you'll be. 238 00:10:50,718 --> 00:10:52,679 Knock, knock, Britta. I'm not gonna say "Who's there?" 239 00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,597 Because someone on the floor is knocking. 240 00:10:54,639 --> 00:10:56,099 Well, that's lame. You have to say, "Who's there?" 241 00:10:56,141 --> 00:10:57,684 Floor! What? 242 00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,936 That's who's there! Yeah! But it's for you! 243 00:11:03,064 --> 00:11:04,399 Aah! 244 00:11:06,485 --> 00:11:08,403 Shirley, give us the orb, and we can save Shirley Island. 245 00:11:08,445 --> 00:11:10,155 The orb can't save Shirley Island 246 00:11:10,197 --> 00:11:12,615 because Shirley Island is the orb. 247 00:11:12,657 --> 00:11:13,825 In a cool way like Keyser Soze 248 00:11:13,867 --> 00:11:15,243 or a lame way like Jewel of the Nile? 249 00:11:18,497 --> 00:11:20,539 You tell Buzz Hickey that Shirley Bennett said… 250 00:11:21,749 --> 00:11:23,293 Well, I don't want to waste your time. 251 00:11:23,335 --> 00:11:25,128 Just think of something cool and give me credit. 252 00:11:25,170 --> 00:11:26,963 But the door I'm knocking on is your home, 253 00:11:27,005 --> 00:11:29,090 so if I'm the floor, it means you're dead. 254 00:11:29,132 --> 00:11:30,925 If you're the floor, you're already dead. 255 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:32,386 Just do it right! 256 00:11:32,427 --> 00:11:34,637 Knock, knock! Knock, knock! 257 00:11:41,353 --> 00:11:44,147 Who's there, bitch? Floor! 258 00:11:44,189 --> 00:11:46,565 Floor! 259 00:11:47,859 --> 00:11:49,444 Aah! 260 00:12:21,435 --> 00:12:23,602 Ha! Hickey, you chicken. 261 00:12:29,568 --> 00:12:31,152 He gutted us. Retreat! 262 00:12:33,988 --> 00:12:35,614 Hello? 263 00:12:36,908 --> 00:12:38,243 Hello? 264 00:12:39,244 --> 00:12:40,787 I'm the only one left. 265 00:12:40,828 --> 00:12:44,458 I won 50,000 bucks. 266 00:12:44,499 --> 00:12:47,710 That's 50,000 lottery tickets! 267 00:12:54,050 --> 00:12:56,719 You can't outrun your emotions! 268 00:13:03,393 --> 00:13:06,521 Aah! I had a dream like this, but it was sexual. 269 00:13:06,563 --> 00:13:10,733 I will force you two to grieve properly even if it kills us all! 270 00:13:10,775 --> 00:13:11,775 Go away, Britta! 271 00:13:12,444 --> 00:13:13,987 Oh! Aah! 272 00:13:21,202 --> 00:13:22,245 Yay! Ow! 273 00:13:22,287 --> 00:13:23,662 Yay! Ow! Ow! 274 00:13:25,582 --> 00:13:27,000 Sorry about our butts touching. 275 00:13:35,467 --> 00:13:37,344 Okay, we'll go into the vents. They'll never find us there. 276 00:13:37,385 --> 00:13:38,761 I say we take a stand here. 277 00:13:38,803 --> 00:13:40,847 I mean, someone's got to win sometime. 278 00:13:40,888 --> 00:13:41,973 Not if we never kill each other. 279 00:13:42,015 --> 00:13:43,057 Then we can play forever. 280 00:13:43,099 --> 00:13:44,767 Right. Wait. 281 00:13:44,809 --> 00:13:47,437 Abed, the floor can't be lava forever. The game's got to end. 282 00:13:51,690 --> 00:13:53,193 It's not a game for me, Troy. 283 00:13:53,234 --> 00:13:54,986 I'm seeing real lava because you're leaving. 284 00:13:55,028 --> 00:13:58,865 It's embarrassing, and I don't want to be crazy, but I am crazy, so… 285 00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:01,409 I made a game that made you and everyone else see what I see. 286 00:14:06,873 --> 00:14:08,333 I don't want it to be there either, I swear. 287 00:14:08,375 --> 00:14:09,959 I want you to be able to leave, 288 00:14:10,001 --> 00:14:11,878 but I don't think the lava goes away until you stop leaving. 289 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:17,925 So the only way I can help you is by giving up my chance to be one person? 290 00:14:22,263 --> 00:14:25,266 You guys ready for closure? Of your caskets? 291 00:14:25,308 --> 00:14:26,518 Guys, stop, okay? 292 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:27,852 The lava's real to Abed. 293 00:14:27,894 --> 00:14:29,646 It's not a game to him. Oh, no. 294 00:14:29,688 --> 00:14:32,982 You know what I think? I think he's used to getting his own way. 295 00:14:33,024 --> 00:14:34,942 I think he's never met me. 296 00:14:34,984 --> 00:14:36,777 Aah! No! 297 00:14:41,575 --> 00:14:42,742 Abed! Abed. 298 00:14:48,373 --> 00:14:52,752 Unbelievable. When this game is over, I'm gonna shove you back. 299 00:14:54,045 --> 00:14:55,755 Abed, give me your other hand! 300 00:14:58,341 --> 00:15:00,843 It's down to us. You or Britta will be the winner. 301 00:15:00,885 --> 00:15:03,471 I'm not leaving, okay? Just… I promise. 302 00:15:03,513 --> 00:15:05,515 The floor's not lava now. Just give me your hand. 303 00:15:05,557 --> 00:15:08,560 I don't think the lava's here because you're leaving. 304 00:15:08,602 --> 00:15:10,019 I think it's here because I won't let go. 305 00:15:10,061 --> 00:15:11,229 Sorry. 306 00:15:12,105 --> 00:15:13,690 Bye. Abed. 307 00:15:13,732 --> 00:15:15,066 Abed. Abed! 308 00:15:15,609 --> 00:15:16,817 Abed! 309 00:15:18,319 --> 00:15:20,238 Abed! Abed! 310 00:15:25,868 --> 00:15:26,953 Abed. 311 00:15:27,912 --> 00:15:29,080 He's fake dead. 312 00:15:30,081 --> 00:15:31,249 Forever. 313 00:15:33,668 --> 00:15:35,587 Shut up. 314 00:15:35,629 --> 00:15:36,615 What? 315 00:15:36,630 --> 00:15:37,797 Stop! 316 00:15:42,469 --> 00:15:44,387 He's not really dead. 317 00:15:44,429 --> 00:15:45,972 No, but he's really playing dead, and he's not gonna stop. 318 00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:47,432 Here. 319 00:15:47,474 --> 00:15:48,891 Congratulations, you win. 320 00:15:50,226 --> 00:15:51,519 You don't get it. 321 00:15:51,561 --> 00:15:53,396 No one gets Abed. 322 00:15:53,438 --> 00:15:55,982 I got him a little. This is my fault. 323 00:16:00,445 --> 00:16:02,196 I don't deserve to fake live. 324 00:16:02,238 --> 00:16:03,281 Wait! No. 325 00:16:03,323 --> 00:16:04,532 I can fix him. 326 00:16:04,574 --> 00:16:06,117 How? I don't know. 327 00:16:06,159 --> 00:16:08,995 In real life, I don't know, but I can fake fix him. 328 00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,665 Uh, I can clone him. I'll clone him. 329 00:16:11,706 --> 00:16:15,376 Go on. I just need his DNA. 330 00:16:15,418 --> 00:16:16,586 Let's get his DNA. 331 00:16:16,628 --> 00:16:17,796 Don't touch the lava. 332 00:16:17,837 --> 00:16:19,589 You might be onto something. 333 00:16:19,631 --> 00:16:21,508 I'm gonna find discarded technology 334 00:16:21,549 --> 00:16:24,469 from this once great civilization and start a cloning machine. 335 00:16:24,511 --> 00:16:28,515 Mm! Okay, I'm placing this cellular regeneration sequencer 336 00:16:28,556 --> 00:16:30,224 on the spot where he died. 337 00:16:30,266 --> 00:16:32,018 Here, don't forget this. 338 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:35,730 This is a laser guidance system that keeps the regeneration sequence from 339 00:16:35,772 --> 00:16:39,066 um, jib-jabbing. Jib-jabbing? 340 00:16:39,108 --> 00:16:42,278 Initiate regeneration sequence. 341 00:16:57,585 --> 00:16:59,504 It worked. We made a perfect clone of Abed. 342 00:17:06,302 --> 00:17:07,721 Actually, Britta's work was sloppy. 343 00:17:07,762 --> 00:17:09,180 I'm not an exact replication. 344 00:17:09,222 --> 00:17:10,807 I have all of Abed's abilities and memories, 345 00:17:10,849 --> 00:17:12,684 but I'm missing his wild emotionality. 346 00:17:16,688 --> 00:17:18,898 Although I think I may be able to let Troy go now. 347 00:17:21,317 --> 00:17:23,152 I don't know. 348 00:17:23,194 --> 00:17:25,739 I haven't been completely honest. 349 00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:28,199 I'm really scared to go on my trip. 350 00:17:28,241 --> 00:17:30,910 Well, you don't have to go. Your clone can. 351 00:17:32,537 --> 00:17:33,747 Right. 352 00:18:02,316 --> 00:18:04,068 So you guys are all cloned up too, huh? 353 00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:06,153 Yeah, believe in cloning. Yeah. 354 00:18:07,488 --> 00:18:11,325 Well, guess that's my ride. 355 00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:13,202 I'm so excited for you. 356 00:18:13,244 --> 00:18:16,581 You're gonna see the world and experience new cultures. 357 00:18:16,623 --> 00:18:18,917 I mean, technically all culture has been homogenized 358 00:18:18,958 --> 00:18:20,668 by 50 years of American imperialism, 359 00:18:20,710 --> 00:18:23,296 but at least the candy bar wrappers will… 360 00:18:23,337 --> 00:18:25,882 God, there I go. 361 00:18:25,924 --> 00:18:28,384 Almost Britta'd our good-bye, huh? I'm the worst. 362 00:18:28,426 --> 00:18:30,720 You're the best, and I love you. 363 00:18:33,306 --> 00:18:34,724 I'm better at sex than Jeff, right? 364 00:18:34,766 --> 00:18:36,726 I've yet to have anyone worse. 365 00:18:40,271 --> 00:18:45,902 All I ever wanted in high school was for Troy Barnes to notice me, 366 00:18:45,944 --> 00:18:47,946 and then I ended up living with you. 367 00:18:47,987 --> 00:18:49,489 I'm pretty lucky. 368 00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:52,617 I'm not. I had a chance to be your friend in high school, 369 00:18:52,659 --> 00:18:54,828 but I was too busy trying to be cool. 370 00:18:54,869 --> 00:18:56,496 I missed out on four more years of Annie. 371 00:18:56,537 --> 00:18:57,664 Aw! 372 00:19:03,294 --> 00:19:05,004 You are the coolest guy I know. 373 00:19:06,088 --> 00:19:07,214 I hope I make you proud. 374 00:19:10,301 --> 00:19:13,095 I've never stepped foot outside of Colorado. 375 00:19:13,137 --> 00:19:16,098 You're becoming much cooler than me by doing this. 376 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,855 Thanks for looking out for me. 377 00:19:21,896 --> 00:19:24,774 Thank you for putting up with the boring, old mom in your college study group. 378 00:19:24,816 --> 00:19:26,526 You made a furniture fortress. 379 00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:28,027 You're the badass from our study group. 380 00:19:35,451 --> 00:19:36,536 Clone Troy. 381 00:19:37,286 --> 00:19:39,914 Clone Abed. 382 00:19:39,956 --> 00:19:42,709 By the way, when I cloned you, I had to patch some missing parts of your DNA 383 00:19:42,750 --> 00:19:44,836 with genes from a homing pigeon. 384 00:19:44,878 --> 00:19:48,047 You may notice side effects, like a compulsion to come back. 385 00:19:49,507 --> 00:19:51,634 Cool. Clone hug? 386 00:19:59,726 --> 00:20:02,311 So, you're really just gonna pilot this thing all on your own? 387 00:20:02,353 --> 00:20:04,856 Well, Pierce's will stated that someone would be assigned to travel with me 388 00:20:04,898 --> 00:20:06,607 to verify that I don't cheat. 389 00:20:06,649 --> 00:20:08,735 Captain Barnes. 390 00:20:08,776 --> 00:20:11,445 We should probably set sail while the wind is still in our favor, don't you think? 391 00:20:12,655 --> 00:20:14,323 Engage. 392 00:20:26,836 --> 00:20:29,547 Now, Troy, I know it's gonna be difficult for you to interact with me… 393 00:20:29,589 --> 00:20:31,507 No, no. That was the original Troy. 394 00:20:31,549 --> 00:20:33,009 I'm his clone. 395 00:20:33,051 --> 00:20:34,510 Let's get the lead out, Burton. 396 00:20:34,552 --> 00:20:35,803 Aye, aye, sir. 397 00:20:56,449 --> 00:20:57,951 You know, starting a sea voyage 398 00:20:57,992 --> 00:21:00,369 from landlocked Colorado may not have been the best idea. 399 00:21:00,411 --> 00:21:03,330 We'll drive to the river and then take the river to the ocean. 400 00:21:03,372 --> 00:21:05,124 Actually, I never thought I'd see you again. 401 00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:07,543 I have a couple Star Trek questions, if you don't mind. 402 00:21:07,585 --> 00:21:08,586 No, go ahead. 403 00:21:12,548 --> 00:21:14,425 What time did you guys have to get up in the morning? 404 00:21:14,467 --> 00:21:16,427 Does every writer write for one character? 405 00:21:16,469 --> 00:21:18,096 What's a best boy? I saw it in the credits once. 406 00:21:18,137 --> 00:21:19,764 Why don't they call it Planet Trek? 407 00:21:22,058 --> 00:21:24,518 You never go to a star. 408 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:26,228 Not one episode.