1 00:00:01,993 --> 00:00:03,726 Hmm. 2 00:00:04,134 --> 00:00:05,658 Shirley, did you ever date Roger Ebert? 3 00:00:05,677 --> 00:00:07,339 - Excuse me? - Nothing. 4 00:00:08,145 --> 00:00:09,602 Britta, did you ever take pictures of your feet 5 00:00:09,621 --> 00:00:12,937 and post them on the Internet for money? - Sha-ha! No. 6 00:00:13,099 --> 00:00:15,130 Guys, this history final is going to be killer. 7 00:00:15,143 --> 00:00:16,721 We have to study. 8 00:00:16,738 --> 00:00:19,746 It's no fair Professor Cornwallis turned all hard-assed again. 9 00:00:19,790 --> 00:00:20,880 Lucky Pierce. 10 00:00:20,909 --> 00:00:23,194 Donating his kidney to Gilbert to get out of it. 11 00:00:23,242 --> 00:00:25,010 I never thought he'd be that generous. 12 00:00:25,098 --> 00:00:27,436 Although, he did seem disappointed that the operation didn't involve 13 00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:29,912 sleeping with a Russian woman, then waking up in a bathtub full of ice. 14 00:00:29,937 --> 00:00:30,956 - Hmm. - Guys! - Hmm? 15 00:00:30,974 --> 00:00:32,897 - History! - I am studying history. 16 00:00:33,024 --> 00:00:34,905 - I'm studying our history. - Abed! 17 00:00:34,924 --> 00:00:36,381 Nobody bite. 18 00:00:36,481 --> 00:00:37,903 We agreed no biting. 19 00:00:37,941 --> 00:00:39,223 But, Jeff, it's a graduation gift. 20 00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:40,977 You see, on the surface we seem like just a group of people 21 00:00:40,994 --> 00:00:42,974 from diverse backgrounds who have become unlikely friends. 22 00:00:42,998 --> 00:00:44,805 But according to my research, 23 00:00:44,830 --> 00:00:46,396 our paths have crossed many times. 24 00:00:46,448 --> 00:00:49,074 We were destined to meet. Like a team of superheroes. 25 00:00:49,123 --> 00:00:50,568 This 26 00:00:50,593 --> 00:00:53,813 - is our origin story. - And here... we... go. 27 00:00:53,831 --> 00:00:55,763 Abed, we don't have origin stories. 28 00:00:55,788 --> 00:00:56,984 We have lives. 29 00:00:57,021 --> 00:00:58,989 Well, at least— 30 00:01:00,858 --> 00:01:02,409 yep, just me. 31 00:01:02,437 --> 00:01:05,821 So you're saying we're all connected like the classic French film trilogy 32 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,659 Bleu, Blanc, Rouge? 33 00:01:07,698 --> 00:01:09,030 No, like something more accessible. 34 00:01:09,055 --> 00:01:10,319 - Like Unbreakable. - Wow. 35 00:01:10,346 --> 00:01:12,261 Abed, I know it's disappointing to you, 36 00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:13,336 but we're not superheroes. 37 00:01:13,361 --> 00:01:16,142 This is the real world, not some comic book adventure. 38 00:01:16,220 --> 00:01:19,464 I've done it. I've infiltrated the school. 39 00:01:19,483 --> 00:01:21,083 I've learned its secrets. 40 00:01:21,112 --> 00:01:23,164 I've gained everyone's trust. 41 00:01:23,220 --> 00:01:26,590 And now, on the anniversary of my empire's destruction, 42 00:01:26,615 --> 00:01:28,107 vengeance will be mine. 43 00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:31,594 No, vengeance will be ours. 44 00:01:31,739 --> 00:01:34,567 Okay, can you stop that? It really creeps me out. 45 00:01:35,331 --> 00:01:37,841 I'm sorry. Just really love this thing. 46 00:01:37,900 --> 00:01:39,567 Skymall. 47 00:02:03,959 --> 00:02:07,459 4x12 Heroic Origins 48 00:02:07,657 --> 00:02:09,480 I've been doing exhaustive research into our lives. 49 00:02:09,509 --> 00:02:11,020 Once I find the last one or two missing pieces, 50 00:02:11,044 --> 00:02:13,761 I'll have conclusive proof that we were all destined to meet. 51 00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:15,511 This is how we're all connected. 52 00:02:15,536 --> 00:02:17,136 I call it the crazy quilt of destiny 53 00:02:17,164 --> 00:02:18,983 mainly because the loom of fate was already taken. 54 00:02:19,001 --> 00:02:20,033 - Really? - Look. 55 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,622 I don't care what tricks or nonsense you have 56 00:02:21,628 --> 00:02:23,291 in your scrapbook, Martha Stewart, 57 00:02:23,325 --> 00:02:24,851 but there's no way you're gonna get me to believe 58 00:02:24,869 --> 00:02:27,219 there's some outside force controlling my destiny. 59 00:02:27,231 --> 00:02:29,185 And I think you used that particular phrasing 60 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,815 because I know you've seen Star Wars. 61 00:02:31,871 --> 00:02:33,102 Everybody's seen Star Wars. 62 00:02:33,127 --> 00:02:35,433 Yes, but you first saw it when it was re-released in 1982 63 00:02:35,451 --> 00:02:37,533 at the Greendale Palladium at 4:15 in the afternoon. 64 00:02:37,564 --> 00:02:39,302 And it was the best time you ever had with your father. 65 00:02:39,330 --> 00:02:41,051 How did you know that? 66 00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:42,762 You keep this ticket stub in your wallet. 67 00:02:42,780 --> 00:02:44,564 Abed, you can't— 68 00:02:44,744 --> 00:02:46,914 - Give it back! - Whoa! 69 00:02:46,948 --> 00:02:49,786 Our story begins in the distant mists of a lost era: 70 00:02:49,867 --> 00:02:52,485 2008. 71 00:02:54,178 --> 00:02:56,368 I know you're all wondering how I do it. 72 00:02:56,407 --> 00:03:00,182 How do I balance straight As, extracurriculars, 73 00:03:00,208 --> 00:03:03,115 and Israeli folk dancing every Friday night? 74 00:03:03,194 --> 00:03:05,867 It's a simple matter of 75 00:03:06,135 --> 00:03:08,135 organization, 76 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:12,293 dedication, and... 77 00:03:19,414 --> 00:03:20,683 And we're back! 78 00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:22,927 Then I drink your milkshake. 79 00:03:24,295 --> 00:03:26,828 Ah, that will never get old. 80 00:03:26,870 --> 00:03:28,537 You guys gotta see my Juno. 81 00:03:28,566 --> 00:03:29,835 Hey, Troy. 82 00:03:29,866 --> 00:03:32,082 So I heard you weren't doing that great in algebra, 83 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:35,051 and you know, if you need a tutor for math, 84 00:03:35,069 --> 00:03:36,368 I'd be happy to help. 85 00:03:36,390 --> 00:03:38,313 I'm being recruited by colleges to play football. 86 00:03:38,337 --> 00:03:40,119 - Oh. - I don't have time for math. 87 00:03:40,147 --> 00:03:42,499 The only thing that matters to me are statistics. 88 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:43,262 Ooh! 89 00:03:43,287 --> 00:03:45,804 Uh, that's also a type of math. 90 00:03:47,041 --> 00:03:49,273 But we already knew I went to high school with Troy, 91 00:03:49,285 --> 00:03:51,532 and it's not like he even remembered I existed. 92 00:03:51,558 --> 00:03:53,140 Yeah, I don't remember her at all. 93 00:03:53,152 --> 00:03:54,422 We should probably drop this. 94 00:03:54,469 --> 00:03:56,090 Wait, where's Pierce on this chart? 95 00:03:56,116 --> 00:03:57,866 His contribution to the group has already been noted. 96 00:03:57,878 --> 00:03:59,658 Pierce Hawthorne. Fixture at Greendale. 97 00:03:59,682 --> 00:04:00,689 Unavoidable. 98 00:04:00,719 --> 00:04:02,507 - Hey, is that a sad face? - I wouldn't know. 99 00:04:02,532 --> 00:04:04,531 You have to look deeper. Here. Take this, for example. 100 00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:06,887 It's a receipt I found in the back of Shirley's sock drawer on Thanksgiving. 101 00:04:06,897 --> 00:04:08,935 You went in my bedroom for some comic book thing? 102 00:04:08,964 --> 00:04:11,208 Oh, no, my feet were cold. Ah, here. 103 00:04:11,296 --> 00:04:12,608 - You should probably wash those. - Oh. 104 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:13,923 Discovering the receipt was dumb luck, 105 00:04:13,928 --> 00:04:17,056 but it proves that we were at the mall on the exact same day. 106 00:04:17,328 --> 00:04:19,728 Shirley, do remember what you bought for $54 at the Love Hut? 107 00:04:19,746 --> 00:04:21,358 What? Hmm? No. 108 00:04:22,107 --> 00:04:25,091 So excited about tonight, honey. 109 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,448 Uh-huh. It's been too long 110 00:04:26,472 --> 00:04:29,898 since we had adult time without the kids. 111 00:04:30,436 --> 00:04:31,329 Oh! 112 00:04:31,353 --> 00:04:35,181 Well, I may have an anniversary surprise for you too. 113 00:04:35,269 --> 00:04:37,020 Well, I'm in public, but, uh... 114 00:04:37,041 --> 00:04:38,179 you know you gonna get it, right? 115 00:04:38,208 --> 00:04:40,963 You gonna get it! 116 00:04:43,531 --> 00:04:46,158 So we were at the mall on the same day. 117 00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:48,202 Unbreakable. 118 00:04:49,041 --> 00:04:50,698 Mail call. 119 00:04:50,940 --> 00:04:53,141 That's all right. Won't be needing it today. 120 00:04:53,165 --> 00:04:55,103 But Kevin always takes the mail. 121 00:04:55,121 --> 00:04:56,956 Well, today's mail's kind of important. 122 00:04:56,985 --> 00:04:59,453 It's the day that I send in Greendale's lease renewal. 123 00:04:59,475 --> 00:05:02,306 - Lease re-new-al? - It's a critical document. 124 00:05:02,319 --> 00:05:05,128 See, Greendale sublets our land from the Arapaho nation. 125 00:05:05,152 --> 00:05:05,859 Ah. 126 00:05:05,884 --> 00:05:08,586 Miss a renewal and faster than you can say "wounded knee," 127 00:05:08,613 --> 00:05:12,321 we turn into a casino and midsize concert venue. 128 00:05:12,473 --> 00:05:14,975 So you only trust me with busywork? 129 00:05:15,239 --> 00:05:17,721 Oh, no, that's not— 130 00:05:18,748 --> 00:05:20,329 Kevin, ah— 131 00:05:21,135 --> 00:05:23,345 I cannot resist those puppy dog eyes. 132 00:05:23,392 --> 00:05:24,668 Here. 133 00:05:24,952 --> 00:05:27,020 Ah! Now, I have time to hit the seamstress. 134 00:05:31,882 --> 00:05:34,761 Guess all I have to say is "Ladies and gentlemen, 135 00:05:34,780 --> 00:05:38,697 Greendale Resort and Casino presents Steve Winwood." 136 00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:40,655 Okay, I just need to find the one last smoking gun, 137 00:05:40,674 --> 00:05:41,943 and I think this might be it. 138 00:05:41,986 --> 00:05:44,301 I found it in a copy of the Greendale communist worker. 139 00:05:44,352 --> 00:05:45,683 Look familiar? 140 00:05:45,730 --> 00:05:47,154 Oh, my God. 141 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:50,723 This is me and my anarchist collective at the courthouse. 142 00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:52,657 We called ourselves the An-her-chists. 143 00:05:53,991 --> 00:05:55,403 Did you guys know that Jeff's in that photo? 144 00:05:55,416 --> 00:05:56,841 What! 145 00:05:57,746 --> 00:05:59,209 Jeff. My man. 146 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,659 Congrats on getting your case thrown out. 147 00:06:00,671 --> 00:06:02,421 Your argument was a masterpiece. 148 00:06:02,457 --> 00:06:04,358 I mean, it was definitely creative. 149 00:06:04,386 --> 00:06:05,331 Creative? 150 00:06:05,354 --> 00:06:09,211 He convinced a judge to forgive five years back taxes by getting him to agree 151 00:06:09,228 --> 00:06:11,820 that you humping an American flag to Back In Black 152 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:15,901 was not stripping but actually not-for-profit performance art. 153 00:06:15,918 --> 00:06:17,405 Ch-chk... Boom! 154 00:06:17,436 --> 00:06:18,261 Blew me away. 155 00:06:18,286 --> 00:06:19,399 Come on, let's go! 156 00:06:19,424 --> 00:06:20,355 Thank you. 157 00:06:20,367 --> 00:06:22,241 Thank you for defending a woman's right 158 00:06:22,266 --> 00:06:24,534 to use her body however she chooses. 159 00:06:24,562 --> 00:06:28,065 I can honestly say that right is very important to me. 160 00:06:28,099 --> 00:06:29,308 Aw! 161 00:06:29,333 --> 00:06:30,869 Excuse me, Mr. Winger, can we get a— 162 00:06:30,893 --> 00:06:32,151 - You're a hero. - Hi. 163 00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:33,293 Hi. 164 00:06:33,430 --> 00:06:34,249 Guys! 165 00:06:34,277 --> 00:06:36,652 We have got to capitalize on this momentum. 166 00:06:36,674 --> 00:06:40,602 It is time An-her-chists finally takes a stand on animals rights. 167 00:06:40,632 --> 00:06:43,424 There is a medical lab in an office building nearby. 168 00:06:43,442 --> 00:06:44,749 Next week, I say we break in there— 169 00:06:44,766 --> 00:06:47,097 Actually, we were thinking this is our last hurrah. 170 00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:48,827 But this was our first hurrah. 171 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:50,969 - We're just getting going. - Britta, we're done. 172 00:06:50,998 --> 00:06:53,689 I had a hamburger the other day, and suddenly I'm not cold all the time. 173 00:06:53,707 --> 00:06:57,300 Fine. Go. I don't need you. 174 00:06:58,354 --> 00:07:01,965 What's an anarchist to do without her organization? 175 00:07:03,362 --> 00:07:05,873 Jeffrey, how could you? 176 00:07:05,941 --> 00:07:07,565 Well, I was a really good lawyer. 177 00:07:07,589 --> 00:07:10,037 Mysti is the stripper that Andre cheated on me with, 178 00:07:10,050 --> 00:07:11,746 and you defended her. 179 00:07:12,259 --> 00:07:13,484 Shirley, I— 180 00:07:13,510 --> 00:07:15,551 If you hadn't gotten that homewrecker off, 181 00:07:15,582 --> 00:07:17,539 Andre never would've met her. 182 00:07:18,276 --> 00:07:20,295 Jeff ends Shirley's marriage. 183 00:07:20,308 --> 00:07:22,593 See? I told you we were always destined to meet. 184 00:07:22,635 --> 00:07:23,551 Hmm. 185 00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:27,054 I knew Jeff went to the same rec center, 186 00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:28,719 but I had no idea their paths crossed again. 187 00:07:28,737 --> 00:07:30,180 This is good. This is really great. 188 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,566 We're really filling in some plot holes here. 189 00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,382 This is good stuff. It's really good. 190 00:07:33,599 --> 00:07:35,871 - Have I missed something? - These aren't plot holes, Abed. 191 00:07:35,901 --> 00:07:36,877 This is my life. 192 00:07:36,909 --> 00:07:39,412 But this kinda connection only makes our origin story more compelling. 193 00:07:39,429 --> 00:07:41,592 Like how awesome it is when Uncle Ben is murdered in Spider-Man. 194 00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:43,617 - Hmm. - My marriage almost ended. 195 00:07:43,669 --> 00:07:46,027 If it weren't for Jeff, that Jezebel would've been in jail 196 00:07:46,046 --> 00:07:47,874 instead of between my Laura Ashley sheets. 197 00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:50,186 Hey, this is not my fault. 198 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:52,921 And by the way, the case didn't work out too great for me either. 199 00:07:52,953 --> 00:07:54,771 It was supposed to make my career, 200 00:07:54,811 --> 00:07:56,680 but it put a target on my back. 201 00:08:00,659 --> 00:08:02,515 Michael Phelps, really? 202 00:08:02,548 --> 00:08:03,836 And it doesn't affect his breathing? 203 00:08:03,865 --> 00:08:04,818 Nope. 204 00:08:04,861 --> 00:08:07,702 Mysti, can I talk to Jeff for a moment? 205 00:08:07,767 --> 00:08:11,056 I will go, uh, powder my nose. 206 00:08:11,789 --> 00:08:13,648 For real. 207 00:08:14,486 --> 00:08:15,381 Listen. 208 00:08:15,399 --> 00:08:17,203 There's this rumor going around the firm 209 00:08:17,216 --> 00:08:19,548 that you never received an undergraduate degree. 210 00:08:19,579 --> 00:08:21,986 - That's ridiculous. - I know. 211 00:08:22,004 --> 00:08:25,231 I mean, some jag is obviously jealous of your rising star. 212 00:08:25,344 --> 00:08:27,119 But the fact is, until this is settled, 213 00:08:27,135 --> 00:08:29,570 the bar isn't gonna let you practice. 214 00:08:32,371 --> 00:08:34,248 So you got caught in your own lie? 215 00:08:34,266 --> 00:08:35,675 I almost lost my family. 216 00:08:35,694 --> 00:08:37,280 How does your little tragedy even compare? 217 00:08:37,292 --> 00:08:39,507 Because I had to go to school here. 218 00:08:39,525 --> 00:08:41,094 Abed, do not write that down. 219 00:08:41,110 --> 00:08:43,171 It's not like I made Andre cheat. 220 00:08:43,220 --> 00:08:45,907 Well, I happen to think it's cool that we're all connected, 221 00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:47,662 even if some of it's in bad ways. 222 00:08:47,697 --> 00:08:50,685 I mean, I'm finally willing to forgive Annie for ruining high school. 223 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:53,248 Wait, I ruined your time in high school? 224 00:08:53,288 --> 00:08:55,623 Yeah, you did. 225 00:08:57,486 --> 00:08:59,420 - You guys doing keg stands? - Yeah! 226 00:08:59,579 --> 00:09:01,586 Anyone can do a keg stand. 227 00:09:01,635 --> 00:09:02,902 I'm gonna do a keg flip. 228 00:09:02,929 --> 00:09:04,797 Hey, everybody, look at this. 229 00:09:04,822 --> 00:09:09,442 Troy! Troy! Troy! 230 00:09:09,907 --> 00:09:11,095 Ah! 231 00:09:11,132 --> 00:09:12,186 Oh! 232 00:09:12,233 --> 00:09:15,133 Oh, my football knee! Why! 233 00:09:15,158 --> 00:09:16,125 Can I have some corn nuts? 234 00:09:16,149 --> 00:09:20,449 Wah! No! Nooooo! 235 00:09:21,881 --> 00:09:23,606 That had nothing to do with me. 236 00:09:23,624 --> 00:09:25,735 And you already admitted that you faked that injury 237 00:09:25,753 --> 00:09:28,403 because you couldn't take the pressure of those football recruiters. 238 00:09:28,446 --> 00:09:30,764 I faked my injury because of what you said to me. 239 00:09:30,786 --> 00:09:32,330 Because of what I said? 240 00:09:32,373 --> 00:09:34,574 You didn't even remember that I went to school with you. 241 00:09:34,594 --> 00:09:36,901 I may have lied about that too. 242 00:09:40,304 --> 00:09:42,804 Hey, guys, it's time to do senior class superlatives! 243 00:09:45,432 --> 00:09:48,873 Okay, the first award is "Most Handsome." 244 00:09:48,916 --> 00:09:50,584 And the winner is... 245 00:09:50,841 --> 00:09:53,777 - Troy Barnes. - Of course it is. 246 00:09:53,789 --> 00:09:55,412 "Most Popular." 247 00:09:55,443 --> 00:09:56,740 Troy Barnes. 248 00:09:56,765 --> 00:09:59,543 No! You guys are awesome. 249 00:09:59,601 --> 00:10:00,868 "Best Smile." 250 00:10:01,855 --> 00:10:03,440 Ha ha, gotta keep 'em white. 251 00:10:03,549 --> 00:10:07,281 "Best Moves." "Best Practical Joker." 252 00:10:07,339 --> 00:10:08,871 "Coolest Locker." 253 00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,203 And now, the last award of the night. 254 00:10:11,234 --> 00:10:13,586 "Most Likely to Succeed." 255 00:10:13,604 --> 00:10:15,264 Okay, this has to go to me, 256 00:10:15,283 --> 00:10:17,017 because I am most likely to succeed. 257 00:10:17,036 --> 00:10:18,569 It's just a fact. You guys know. 258 00:10:18,590 --> 00:10:20,390 And the winner is... 259 00:10:21,133 --> 00:10:22,317 Troy Barnes. 260 00:10:27,583 --> 00:10:29,497 You have got to be kidding me! 261 00:10:29,522 --> 00:10:32,753 Troy Barnes, most likely to succeed? 262 00:10:32,785 --> 00:10:36,351 I'm the damn Valedictorian and head of student council 263 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:38,846 and president of campus crusade for Christ. 264 00:10:38,858 --> 00:10:40,563 And I'm Jewish! 265 00:10:40,585 --> 00:10:43,668 And you are just some mindless robot. 266 00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:46,554 You just go wherever they tell you to run. 267 00:10:46,895 --> 00:10:48,768 I'm sorry. 268 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:50,948 Do you go to my school? 269 00:10:51,996 --> 00:10:53,996 Oh! 270 00:11:02,166 --> 00:11:03,997 Pop! Pop! 271 00:11:05,095 --> 00:11:08,980 Your words cut me more than hundreds of non-tempered glass shards could. 272 00:11:09,055 --> 00:11:12,424 I had six different reconstructive surgeries. 273 00:11:12,514 --> 00:11:14,064 I went through withdrawal. 274 00:11:14,104 --> 00:11:17,213 I had to smile when I didn't feel like smiling. 275 00:11:17,272 --> 00:11:18,407 That hurts my face. 276 00:11:18,438 --> 00:11:20,601 Can we all just stop dredging up the past? 277 00:11:20,619 --> 00:11:22,577 The only thing your fate web thing does 278 00:11:22,602 --> 00:11:25,249 is point out how fragile our happiness is. 279 00:11:25,300 --> 00:11:27,338 If only Jeff hadn't defended that woman, 280 00:11:27,350 --> 00:11:29,583 if only Andre hadn't met her after I left the restaurant, 281 00:11:29,596 --> 00:11:31,580 if only I didn't have to pick up my kids at the mall, I— 282 00:11:31,597 --> 00:11:32,830 Wait. 283 00:11:32,921 --> 00:11:35,672 When? Which mall? 284 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,176 Oh, my God. 285 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,092 Oh, my God. 286 00:11:44,657 --> 00:11:46,416 Hey, what movie you guys gonna see? 287 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,466 The Phantom Menace. It's kind of old. 288 00:11:49,232 --> 00:11:51,589 - And why do you wanna see it? - Because we like Star Wars. 289 00:11:51,615 --> 00:11:54,807 Okay, if you like Star Wars, why do you wanna murder it and urinate on its grave? 290 00:11:54,852 --> 00:11:55,901 The prequels are terrible. 291 00:11:55,918 --> 00:11:57,763 I mean, seriously, wouldn't Chewbacca, at some point, go, 292 00:11:57,801 --> 00:11:59,576 "Hey, Yoda, I know that guy"? 293 00:11:59,647 --> 00:12:01,022 He has double light sabers. 294 00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:02,777 That's stupid. You're both stupid. 295 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:04,891 Well, why are you here to see the movie? 296 00:12:04,919 --> 00:12:05,894 I'm not. 297 00:12:05,906 --> 00:12:08,417 I go wherever it plays to warn people. 298 00:12:08,449 --> 00:12:09,766 You've been warned. 299 00:12:12,917 --> 00:12:15,316 Stranger said what to him? 300 00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:18,137 Okay, fine. I'll come get you. 301 00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:20,667 I'm sorry, baby, I'll be back as soon as I can. 302 00:12:20,750 --> 00:12:23,502 Okay, just stand there, okay? 303 00:12:23,948 --> 00:12:25,635 This can't be. 304 00:12:26,295 --> 00:12:27,995 I don't see why I have to go to a therapist. 305 00:12:28,013 --> 00:12:30,203 Because after that woman chewed them out for three hours, 306 00:12:30,222 --> 00:12:33,292 the theater got a restraining order against you. 307 00:12:33,402 --> 00:12:34,970 Yalla. 308 00:12:36,539 --> 00:12:37,820 Hey, doc. By the way, 309 00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:40,104 someone just stole your prescription pad. 310 00:12:42,444 --> 00:12:44,657 I'm trying to liberate you! 311 00:12:44,704 --> 00:12:46,404 Ow! 312 00:12:47,445 --> 00:12:49,467 You're the crazy man at the mall! 313 00:12:49,508 --> 00:12:51,827 You're the one who got me busted for drugs! 314 00:12:51,878 --> 00:12:54,947 You were out there somewhere and you weren't looking for me? 315 00:12:54,997 --> 00:12:56,235 In fairness, Annie, 316 00:12:56,260 --> 00:12:58,879 running through a glass door might've been the drug tip-off. 317 00:12:59,015 --> 00:13:02,421 All this time, I wondered what it was that brought our group together. 318 00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:04,631 But I forgot one thing all heroes need. 319 00:13:04,674 --> 00:13:05,791 They need an enemy. 320 00:13:05,822 --> 00:13:08,622 Batman has the Joker, the Justice League has the Legion of Doom, 321 00:13:08,654 --> 00:13:10,492 and this study group... 322 00:13:10,554 --> 00:13:12,060 has me. 323 00:13:12,086 --> 00:13:14,161 I'm the supervillain. Why didn't I see it before? 324 00:13:14,179 --> 00:13:16,210 I'm emotionless, logical, smarter than everybody else. 325 00:13:16,241 --> 00:13:18,454 - Hey! - I tried sawing off Jeff's arm. 326 00:13:18,473 --> 00:13:19,860 Why do you keep saying that? 327 00:13:19,885 --> 00:13:21,388 I should go. It's not safe to be around me. 328 00:13:21,406 --> 00:13:22,700 I'm just as bad. 329 00:13:22,731 --> 00:13:23,962 I couldn't handle the monkey, 330 00:13:23,979 --> 00:13:26,621 so I traded it in for a glaucoma brownie, 331 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,467 even though I knew if it bit someone, 332 00:13:28,492 --> 00:13:30,967 it would make them a teensy bit psychotic. 333 00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:32,450 Britta's right. 334 00:13:32,863 --> 00:13:34,676 We've all made some bad decisions. 335 00:13:34,684 --> 00:13:37,481 And if you really wanna know who the villain is here, 336 00:13:37,622 --> 00:13:39,689 it's me. 337 00:13:41,734 --> 00:13:43,652 - Ah. - Weee! 338 00:13:43,678 --> 00:13:46,839 Yeesh, I didn't think it was possible to put more glitter on. 339 00:13:46,873 --> 00:13:48,422 It's coming off of you like Pig-Pen. 340 00:13:48,463 --> 00:13:50,542 Well, some people seem to like it. 341 00:13:50,565 --> 00:13:52,990 This married guy just gave me his phone number. 342 00:13:53,035 --> 00:13:55,934 Can you believe his wife left him on their anniversary? 343 00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:56,813 You gonna call him? 344 00:13:56,819 --> 00:13:58,441 I mean, he did just win a bunch of money. 345 00:13:58,466 --> 00:13:59,322 I don't know though. 346 00:13:59,340 --> 00:14:01,191 You don't know what? You're not married. 347 00:14:01,218 --> 00:14:03,146 You gotta grab what you want in this life. 348 00:14:03,165 --> 00:14:04,962 That's the way it works. 349 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,288 Someone just took something important from me. 350 00:14:07,512 --> 00:14:08,947 And you know what? 351 00:14:08,965 --> 00:14:10,797 I admire him for it. 352 00:14:11,202 --> 00:14:13,371 All right, I mean, I guess I'll go talk to him. 353 00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:14,271 You do that. 354 00:14:14,302 --> 00:14:17,434 And I'm gonna go get "crap on other people's lawns" drunk. 355 00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:20,619 To a memorable evening for both of us. 356 00:14:23,582 --> 00:14:25,966 Maybe you coincidentally affected some of us. 357 00:14:25,991 --> 00:14:28,593 But I actively endorsed pain. 358 00:14:28,626 --> 00:14:31,385 I was the bad guy, and... 359 00:14:32,059 --> 00:14:34,579 I'd like to think I'm not that guy anymore. 360 00:14:34,606 --> 00:14:36,972 Also, and I hate to bring this up, 361 00:14:37,348 --> 00:14:39,593 you did once make me pee myself. 362 00:14:39,691 --> 00:14:42,739 Well, I guess we're even then. 363 00:14:42,991 --> 00:14:45,479 I might finish studying at home. 364 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:57,440 Just ten minutes ago, I would've been so excited about that peeing thing. 365 00:15:11,412 --> 00:15:14,189 I wanted to make a prequel and I ruined everything. 366 00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:16,312 I guess it could happen to anyone. 367 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:18,502 I should probably write George Lucas a note of apology. 368 00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:20,677 Okay, let's not get crazy. 369 00:15:20,947 --> 00:15:23,548 And you didn't ruin anything. 370 00:15:23,796 --> 00:15:25,690 May I sit here? 371 00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:27,554 Shirley, what are you doing here? 372 00:15:27,581 --> 00:15:30,733 Oh, just wanted some yogurt. 373 00:15:30,991 --> 00:15:33,522 And I do know you're not that person anymore. 374 00:15:33,555 --> 00:15:36,163 Are you sure? 'Cause I was awfully good at it. 375 00:15:36,194 --> 00:15:38,129 Well, we all do bad things every now and again. 376 00:15:38,151 --> 00:15:40,432 I mean, I put a stripper's head through a jukebox. 377 00:15:40,485 --> 00:15:41,464 Hmm. 378 00:15:41,488 --> 00:15:43,845 What are you guys doing here? 379 00:15:46,214 --> 00:15:48,794 I guess we all really wanted yogurt. 380 00:15:48,867 --> 00:15:50,574 You know what's weird? 381 00:15:50,637 --> 00:15:52,991 This is where I first decided to go to Greendale. 382 00:15:53,138 --> 00:15:54,784 Wait, really? 383 00:15:54,809 --> 00:15:57,817 This is where I was when I first decided to go to Greendale. 384 00:15:57,850 --> 00:15:59,929 You're kidding me. 385 00:16:01,344 --> 00:16:03,761 Senor Chang, I know you're as disappointed as I am 386 00:16:03,780 --> 00:16:05,566 in the caliber of students we have at Greendale. 387 00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:09,431 But the mall offers a whole new valuable demographic 388 00:16:09,449 --> 00:16:11,439 of people awake during the daytime. 389 00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:13,518 All right, I'll pass flyers at Yogurtsburgh. 390 00:16:13,666 --> 00:16:14,769 Self-serve yogurt. 391 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,013 Those douses already know one marketable skill. 392 00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,138 Okay, Ben— 393 00:16:18,156 --> 00:16:20,205 But it still has the tags on! 394 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,979 So I lost the receipt. 395 00:16:22,009 --> 00:16:23,284 It's not like I even got to wear it, 396 00:16:23,313 --> 00:16:26,181 because my husband's a tasteless man slut. 397 00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:29,797 What hey, littering! 398 00:16:34,088 --> 00:16:36,831 This better not awaken anything in me. 399 00:16:44,428 --> 00:16:46,029 God, this day... 400 00:16:46,062 --> 00:16:47,885 I thought pushing that woman's head through a jukebox 401 00:16:47,909 --> 00:16:49,604 would make me feel better, but I'm just... 402 00:16:49,654 --> 00:16:51,671 out of $54... 403 00:16:51,703 --> 00:16:52,937 and a marriage. 404 00:16:53,439 --> 00:16:54,839 Crystal Skull was aliens, 405 00:16:54,863 --> 00:16:57,313 so it's a pretty great film. 406 00:17:03,344 --> 00:17:04,845 You guys seen this? 407 00:17:04,898 --> 00:17:08,750 Guys, working the program with you has been so great. 408 00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:12,645 I feel like I'm finally ready to get my life back on track. 409 00:17:13,451 --> 00:17:14,345 Last chance. 410 00:17:14,372 --> 00:17:18,472 Just walk over there right now and apologize to the theater manager. 411 00:17:18,887 --> 00:17:20,381 Midichlorians. 412 00:17:20,753 --> 00:17:22,037 Midichlorians! 413 00:17:22,652 --> 00:17:23,459 Fine. 414 00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:25,854 Then you're not going to film school! 415 00:17:27,373 --> 00:17:29,675 Hi! Do you have any vegan froyo? 416 00:17:29,725 --> 00:17:31,856 Do you even know what froyo is? 417 00:17:31,889 --> 00:17:34,089 Fine. Do you have a job application? 418 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:35,102 Hey. 419 00:17:35,148 --> 00:17:37,766 That weird guy hasn't blinked once. 420 00:17:38,265 --> 00:17:40,711 Oh, yeah. 421 00:17:41,662 --> 00:17:43,082 What a dweeb. 422 00:17:43,117 --> 00:17:46,552 - Yeah, what a dweeb. - Oh, nice shot, man! 423 00:17:49,639 --> 00:17:51,006 Hey, do you work at Greendale? 424 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:52,531 Work? That's putting it charitably. 425 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,954 Greendale community college is a total joke. 426 00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:57,185 They'd give a degree to a monkey. 427 00:17:57,767 --> 00:18:01,680 Hey, does Ian Duncan still teach psychology at Greendale? 428 00:18:01,719 --> 00:18:03,560 - That drunken limey? - That's the one. 429 00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:04,791 He's got tenure. 430 00:18:04,822 --> 00:18:06,825 Maybe getting my degree won't be as hard as I thought. 431 00:18:09,186 --> 00:18:11,075 Sir, what are you doing? 432 00:18:12,025 --> 00:18:13,463 Can we get some help out here? 433 00:18:13,488 --> 00:18:16,573 Some old guy broke the machine and is faking a heart attack. 434 00:18:19,786 --> 00:18:21,053 Oh, wait. 435 00:18:21,656 --> 00:18:23,268 Ah, stupid. 436 00:18:33,288 --> 00:18:34,599 Cool, cool, cool. 437 00:18:34,651 --> 00:18:37,399 Wait, so was that old guy really Pierce? 438 00:18:37,415 --> 00:18:40,668 We'll never know, because he'll never ever remember. 439 00:18:41,234 --> 00:18:42,515 What are the chances of all of us 440 00:18:42,540 --> 00:18:45,046 ending up at the same place at the same time twice? 441 00:18:45,057 --> 00:18:46,890 Abed, it's amazing. 442 00:18:46,924 --> 00:18:48,287 I mean, yes, 2008 was the height 443 00:18:48,311 --> 00:18:50,913 of the slightly sour frozen yogurt craze, but... 444 00:18:51,053 --> 00:18:52,920 that still doesn't explain it. 445 00:18:53,169 --> 00:18:55,657 Maybe we really were all meant to be together. 446 00:18:55,682 --> 00:18:58,437 I'm not sure I understand it, but 447 00:18:58,499 --> 00:19:00,351 maybe we don't have to. 448 00:19:00,502 --> 00:19:03,706 What I do know is that the ways our paths crossed, 449 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,743 even when they were bad, 450 00:19:05,768 --> 00:19:08,000 all led us to this point. 451 00:19:08,312 --> 00:19:10,600 And I wouldn't have it any other way. 452 00:19:10,776 --> 00:19:13,895 So what you're saying is that we're all each other's Uncle Ben's murder. 453 00:19:14,114 --> 00:19:15,577 And we're all Spider-Men. 454 00:19:16,527 --> 00:19:17,969 Yeah. 455 00:19:18,131 --> 00:19:19,488 Let's say I'm saying that. 456 00:19:19,566 --> 00:19:22,718 Mm, I think we know whose will this really is. 457 00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,738 Yeah, I think I do. 458 00:19:25,918 --> 00:19:27,642 I'll be right back. 459 00:19:32,351 --> 00:19:34,111 Hello? 460 00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:38,666 Hey, Abed. 461 00:19:40,683 --> 00:19:42,146 Just doing some Pilates. 462 00:19:42,184 --> 00:19:43,965 - I was looking for you. - Wha—I— 463 00:19:44,002 --> 00:19:46,967 We discovered you're the reason we all went to Greendale. 464 00:19:47,051 --> 00:19:48,489 You linked all of our stories. 465 00:19:48,517 --> 00:19:50,507 Like how the Cosmic Cube assembled the Avengers. 466 00:19:50,540 --> 00:19:52,898 That, and the 4-billion-dollar deal with Disney. 467 00:19:52,988 --> 00:19:55,593 Turns out you were always one of us. 468 00:19:55,667 --> 00:19:58,869 So I came to see if you wanted to get some frozen yogurt. 469 00:19:58,917 --> 00:20:00,528 Really? 470 00:20:00,611 --> 00:20:02,361 That's— 471 00:20:03,446 --> 00:20:06,059 that's all I ever wanted. 472 00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:09,097 But it's too late. 473 00:20:09,305 --> 00:20:10,860 Here's another thing I realized. 474 00:20:11,142 --> 00:20:14,066 Because of you we got to reinvent ourselves at Greendale. 475 00:20:14,167 --> 00:20:16,618 Everyone should have the same chance, don't you think... 476 00:20:16,695 --> 00:20:18,696 - Chang? - It's not Chang. 477 00:20:18,778 --> 00:20:20,790 It's Kevin. 478 00:20:22,865 --> 00:20:24,721 How long have you known? 479 00:20:24,829 --> 00:20:26,238 Known what? 480 00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:29,153 Only you know who you really are. 481 00:20:29,670 --> 00:20:32,377 Also, you may have experimental monkey fever. 482 00:20:32,427 --> 00:20:34,011 You coming? 483 00:20:38,355 --> 00:20:40,068 Yeah. 484 00:20:43,902 --> 00:20:45,666 Actually, can we stop at the post office first? 485 00:20:45,684 --> 00:20:47,041 I have something to mail for the Dean. 486 00:20:47,053 --> 00:20:48,946 It's confidential and I don't wanna talk about it, 487 00:20:48,967 --> 00:20:50,664 so stop interrogating me. 488 00:20:55,372 --> 00:20:57,322 I'm out. I Changed my mind. 489 00:20:57,348 --> 00:21:00,603 You're too in to be out. 490 00:21:03,127 --> 00:21:04,992 - Hey! - Hi! 491 00:21:05,017 --> 00:21:06,814 You want some refills? On me, huh? 492 00:21:06,834 --> 00:21:08,037 Refills? You want some? 493 00:21:11,682 --> 00:21:13,755 Time for plan "B". 494 00:21:24,794 --> 00:21:31,631 Resync for WEB-DL by Norther