1 00:00:04,094 --> 00:00:05,310 Look, 12 o'clock. 2 00:00:05,329 --> 00:00:07,215 The "History of Ice Cream" class is letting out. 3 00:00:07,227 --> 00:00:09,453 It's as informative as it is delicious! 4 00:00:09,503 --> 00:00:11,404 That class should've been ours. 5 00:00:11,443 --> 00:00:13,638 I hear the final is a sundae bar. 6 00:00:13,657 --> 00:00:15,069 - Mm. - I don't get history. 7 00:00:15,094 --> 00:00:17,265 If I wanted to know what happened in Europe a long time ago, 8 00:00:17,296 --> 00:00:18,563 i'd watch Game of Thrones. 9 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,778 Troy, that show takes place in a fantasy realm. 10 00:00:20,796 --> 00:00:22,403 This class is about the real world. 11 00:00:23,426 --> 00:00:24,651 Not the show. 12 00:00:24,928 --> 00:00:26,718 You need to think before you speak. 13 00:00:26,749 --> 00:00:28,420 I heard this teacher's a real hard-ass. 14 00:00:28,438 --> 00:00:31,472 - He's British, and he has a degree. - I can't have a hard-buns teacher. 15 00:00:31,496 --> 00:00:32,907 I'm already starting a new business. 16 00:00:32,931 --> 00:00:34,331 When am I supposed to see my family? 17 00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:36,200 And last week, Ben took his first steps without me. 18 00:00:36,226 --> 00:00:37,226 Quick impression. "Wah." 19 00:00:37,256 --> 00:00:38,645 Who am I? You guys. 20 00:00:38,676 --> 00:00:39,889 Ha! Dead on. 21 00:00:40,313 --> 00:00:41,811 I know "the History of Ice Cream" 22 00:00:41,830 --> 00:00:42,993 would have been fun, 23 00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:45,704 but not only will this class be much less likely 24 00:00:45,729 --> 00:00:47,162 to give us type 2 diabetes. 25 00:00:47,193 --> 00:00:50,212 We might actually learn so... n of a bitch! 26 00:00:51,608 --> 00:00:53,443 Those annoying Germans are back? 27 00:00:53,468 --> 00:00:55,070 I thought they transferred after they lost 28 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:56,373 their foosball scholarship. 29 00:00:56,397 --> 00:00:57,867 I heard they were juicing. 30 00:00:57,882 --> 00:01:00,867 No, them leaving would mean Greendale got slightly better, 31 00:01:00,885 --> 00:01:03,731 which, as we know, does not happen. 32 00:01:03,879 --> 00:01:06,520 Lukas, Karl, I see you've grown a new douche bag. 33 00:01:06,551 --> 00:01:08,243 My name is Reinhold. 34 00:01:08,300 --> 00:01:10,902 I believe you know my brother Juergen. 35 00:01:10,948 --> 00:01:13,812 There vas some bad blood between you two, ja? 36 00:01:14,562 --> 00:01:15,531 Don't worry. 37 00:01:15,554 --> 00:01:17,448 If there is one thing Germans don't do, 38 00:01:17,466 --> 00:01:18,604 it's hold a grudge. 39 00:01:18,630 --> 00:01:20,028 Unless we're talking about Die Hard 3. 40 00:01:20,052 --> 00:01:22,126 Or the 20th century. 41 00:01:22,831 --> 00:01:23,917 Morning, everyone. 42 00:01:23,963 --> 00:01:25,213 Morning. 43 00:01:25,826 --> 00:01:27,925 I am Professor Cornwallis. 44 00:01:27,944 --> 00:01:29,689 I know what you're all thinking, 45 00:01:29,716 --> 00:01:31,965 and the answer is... 46 00:01:32,398 --> 00:01:35,005 Yes. I am a direct descendant 47 00:01:35,029 --> 00:01:37,917 of general Sir Charles Cornwallis, 48 00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,630 who surrendered the British forces at Yorktown. 49 00:01:40,642 --> 00:01:42,093 Was anyone thinking that? 50 00:01:42,112 --> 00:01:42,943 No. 51 00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:45,316 History is written... 52 00:01:45,804 --> 00:01:46,842 By the victors. 53 00:01:46,886 --> 00:01:48,656 Well, of course, we all know the quote. 54 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:49,647 What does it mean? 55 00:01:49,694 --> 00:01:51,395 According to Oxford University, 56 00:01:51,402 --> 00:01:55,443 it means that my 20 years' loyal service there 57 00:01:55,461 --> 00:01:59,173 means nothing next to a little slipup 58 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:00,885 with a co-ed. 59 00:02:01,151 --> 00:02:03,089 Ahem. But what it really means 60 00:02:03,126 --> 00:02:05,444 is that history can be seen 61 00:02:05,474 --> 00:02:07,641 from aultitude of vantage points. 62 00:02:07,805 --> 00:02:10,040 So, for your first test on Monday... 63 00:02:11,559 --> 00:02:13,571 I'm confused. When do we get our ice cream? 64 00:02:13,596 --> 00:02:15,615 I want to challenge you to look at history 65 00:02:15,634 --> 00:02:17,409 from all perspectives. 66 00:02:17,741 --> 00:02:20,654 How would the story read if it was written 67 00:02:20,692 --> 00:02:22,440 not by the victors, 68 00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:24,361 but by the vanquished? 69 00:02:24,392 --> 00:02:25,805 Ja. 70 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:29,088 How indeed? 71 00:02:39,113 --> 00:02:40,858 I was recalling a very funny episode 72 00:02:40,901 --> 00:02:42,733 of the German version of The Nanny. 73 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:45,060 "Franlein" gets a... 74 00:02:45,860 --> 00:02:47,160 It wouldn't translate. 75 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:14,212 4x04 Alternative History of the German Invasionr 76 00:03:14,218 --> 00:03:17,054 And I still have those pants. True story. 77 00:03:17,926 --> 00:03:19,201 Oh, we have fun. 78 00:03:20,229 --> 00:03:21,158 Sorry. 79 00:03:21,190 --> 00:03:23,077 I should've realized that might be startling. 80 00:03:23,147 --> 00:03:26,165 Dr. Ken Kedan, greater Greendale mental health services. 81 00:03:26,313 --> 00:03:29,736 Kevin, does this gentleman look familiar to you? 82 00:03:30,274 --> 00:03:32,233 I'm sorry. He doesn't. 83 00:03:32,270 --> 00:03:35,369 Kevin? Uh-uh. His name is Chang. 84 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:36,982 Oh, of course. 85 00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,249 That explains the note. 86 00:03:40,277 --> 00:03:42,508 "Hello, my name is Kevin. I have Changnesia"? 87 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:43,947 - What is that? - It's not uncommon 88 00:03:43,965 --> 00:03:45,792 for victims of memory loss to experience 89 00:03:45,823 --> 00:03:47,536 some syntactical confusion. 90 00:03:47,722 --> 00:03:49,479 Thus the inappropriate insertion of his name 91 00:03:49,484 --> 00:03:50,692 into an unrelated phrase. 92 00:03:50,708 --> 00:03:52,861 No, he's always Dean that. 93 00:03:52,873 --> 00:03:54,574 Once we learned of the connection to Greendale, 94 00:03:54,599 --> 00:03:56,657 we realized it would be the perfect environment 95 00:03:56,681 --> 00:03:58,198 for some immersive therapy. 96 00:03:58,237 --> 00:04:00,899 What? No, absolutely not. 97 00:04:01,076 --> 00:04:03,602 I can't have an unbalanced nut job 98 00:04:03,627 --> 00:04:05,761 traipsing around on my campus! 99 00:04:05,887 --> 00:04:07,407 Put that on the rack. Put that in the fridge. 100 00:04:07,431 --> 00:04:09,193 Get him out of here! 101 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:12,041 Sorry. Your school board already signed off on it. 102 00:04:12,110 --> 00:04:14,673 Kevin is now your responsibility. 103 00:04:18,647 --> 00:04:20,021 I just felt a strange disturbance. 104 00:04:20,039 --> 00:04:22,264 - Did you have dairy this morning? - Could be that. 105 00:04:22,327 --> 00:04:24,028 Or it could be that great evil is nearby. 106 00:04:24,172 --> 00:04:25,740 I'll take a provisional lactaid. 107 00:04:26,728 --> 00:04:28,398 Won't be needing the lactaid. 108 00:04:28,432 --> 00:04:31,383 Uh, guys? This is our study room. 109 00:04:31,408 --> 00:04:34,039 Please leave, and take that mushroom cloud of drakkar with you. 110 00:04:34,068 --> 00:04:35,986 Why must he hurt so with his vords? 111 00:04:36,018 --> 00:04:38,104 He's like a less funny Hans Rickles. 112 00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:40,354 I'm not here to argue, Angela Jerk-els. 113 00:04:40,378 --> 00:04:41,941 - Beat it! - Ohhh! 114 00:04:41,959 --> 00:04:44,110 Someone must have changed the channel to USA, 115 00:04:44,150 --> 00:04:45,961 'cause I just watched a burn notice. 116 00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:46,985 Oh. 117 00:04:47,382 --> 00:04:48,849 Who's Angela Jerk-els? 118 00:04:48,869 --> 00:04:50,941 I can assure you, ve are here for no reason 119 00:04:50,954 --> 00:04:52,229 other than to study. 120 00:04:52,253 --> 00:04:53,727 Our usual off-campus haunt, 121 00:04:53,745 --> 00:04:55,761 der kaffee hausen, is closed for the shooting 122 00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:57,661 of an esoteric art film. 123 00:04:57,705 --> 00:04:59,526 Tomorrow it shall re-open, unt we shall be 124 00:04:59,551 --> 00:05:01,965 out of your heavily product-laden hair. 125 00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:07,450 Jeff, it's just a little table in the corner of the room. 126 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:08,760 Why don't we just let them have it? 127 00:05:08,778 --> 00:05:10,582 Because that's called appeasement. 128 00:05:10,691 --> 00:05:13,653 And everyone knows if you give the Germans something small, 129 00:05:13,671 --> 00:05:15,694 like the study room or Austria, 130 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,133 they end up wanting something big, 131 00:05:17,154 --> 00:05:18,154 like Earth. 132 00:05:18,334 --> 00:05:19,880 - Oh. - Jeff's right. 133 00:05:19,905 --> 00:05:21,524 If there were more people in the world like Annie, 134 00:05:21,550 --> 00:05:23,586 we'd all be speaking vietnamese right now. 135 00:05:24,332 --> 00:05:25,634 That was my war. 136 00:05:25,689 --> 00:05:27,759 I had flashbacks for years. 137 00:05:27,796 --> 00:05:29,180 Pierce, you moved to Canada. 138 00:05:29,268 --> 00:05:31,198 And it was hell. 139 00:05:31,868 --> 00:05:33,759 Those people call ham "bacon". 140 00:05:33,802 --> 00:05:36,219 This is silly. I'm just gonna walk over there 141 00:05:36,245 --> 00:05:39,268 and tell them they are welcome to share our room. 142 00:05:39,554 --> 00:05:40,855 Delightful. 143 00:05:40,878 --> 00:05:43,129 So today, ve study in here. 144 00:05:43,223 --> 00:05:44,957 Unt tonight, we dine in hell. 145 00:05:50,494 --> 00:05:52,392 Doktor Blitz, knight of the Atlantis Guild, 146 00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:56,036 wielder of the four-pronged trident on SpawnCraft? 147 00:05:56,286 --> 00:05:57,330 How did you know? 148 00:05:57,392 --> 00:05:59,502 I recognized your catchphrase, "Tonight we dine in hell!" 149 00:05:59,514 --> 00:06:01,096 I'm SpaceTimer8032. 150 00:06:01,114 --> 00:06:03,779 You are SpaceTimer8032? 151 00:06:03,819 --> 00:06:06,222 - The one and only. - It's wonderful to meet you... 152 00:06:06,273 --> 00:06:08,173 Brother. 153 00:06:12,337 --> 00:06:13,920 What was that all about? 154 00:06:13,995 --> 00:06:15,782 You two seemed pretty chummy. 155 00:06:15,860 --> 00:06:17,533 That man saved my life. 156 00:06:17,617 --> 00:06:19,117 In a video game. 157 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:21,882 Let me get this as straight as I can get things. 158 00:06:21,902 --> 00:06:23,422 You authorized this? 159 00:06:23,573 --> 00:06:25,714 After everything that happened last year? 160 00:06:25,768 --> 00:06:27,014 Hear us out. 161 00:06:27,092 --> 00:06:28,719 They offered money. 162 00:06:28,744 --> 00:06:31,183 Did it ever occur to you that this man is a psychopath 163 00:06:31,201 --> 00:06:32,767 who may be faking his own Changnesia? 164 00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:34,514 Oh, now he has me saying it. 165 00:06:34,777 --> 00:06:35,839 Amdeansia. 166 00:06:35,845 --> 00:06:37,464 Amdeansia... I'm all turned around. 167 00:06:37,505 --> 00:06:39,782 If he is faking, you're welcome to prove it. 168 00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:41,463 We get the money either way. 169 00:06:41,831 --> 00:06:42,563 Mm! 170 00:06:42,617 --> 00:06:44,477 Oh, I will prove it. 171 00:06:44,727 --> 00:06:47,518 And I'll have fun doing it. 172 00:06:48,173 --> 00:06:49,607 Now, what to wear? 173 00:06:52,748 --> 00:06:53,610 See? 174 00:06:53,629 --> 00:06:55,198 I know those guys were annoying yesterday, 175 00:06:55,211 --> 00:06:56,850 but aren't you glad we didn't turn it 176 00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:59,135 into a whole big macho war thing? 177 00:06:59,147 --> 00:07:01,466 Gosh, Annie, you're right. I can't believe I doubted you. 178 00:07:01,497 --> 00:07:02,841 Hey, apropos of nothing, 179 00:07:02,863 --> 00:07:04,687 what's that sound you make when you see something shocking? 180 00:07:04,693 --> 00:07:06,230 Oh, yeah, that's it. 181 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:07,778 What are you guys doing at our table? 182 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,121 What happened to der kaffee hausen? 183 00:07:10,148 --> 00:07:11,603 Our time in this room yesterday 184 00:07:11,615 --> 00:07:13,408 proved more pleasant than expected. 185 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,122 It's got a good energy. 186 00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:16,776 That table is ours. 187 00:07:16,788 --> 00:07:18,122 This room is ours! 188 00:07:18,151 --> 00:07:19,367 You guys need to leave. 189 00:07:19,393 --> 00:07:21,669 - Hey, Karl. - Hi, Abed. 190 00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:24,510 I am afraid it is you who must do 191 00:07:24,526 --> 00:07:27,132 the making like a tree, which is to say, leaving. 192 00:07:27,267 --> 00:07:28,330 Uh, security! 193 00:07:28,357 --> 00:07:29,963 You want us to leave? 194 00:07:30,144 --> 00:07:31,144 There a problem here? 195 00:07:31,145 --> 00:07:32,579 Yeah, there's a problem. 196 00:07:32,580 --> 00:07:34,397 These dussle-dorks won't leave our study room. 197 00:07:34,444 --> 00:07:35,475 Nice! 198 00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:37,156 I don't understand any of these puns. 199 00:07:37,184 --> 00:07:38,680 I think I need to learn history. 200 00:07:38,736 --> 00:07:40,087 Do you have a sign-in sheet? 201 00:07:40,113 --> 00:07:41,894 You're asking for our papers? 202 00:07:41,997 --> 00:07:44,111 I thought this was America, not Arizona. 203 00:07:44,133 --> 00:07:47,251 We have a sign-in sheet. Lukas. 204 00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:49,236 Perhaps we should all just go home 205 00:07:49,254 --> 00:07:51,968 and see our families and think things through, huh? 206 00:07:52,016 --> 00:07:54,205 Looks like the room is theirs. 207 00:07:54,244 --> 00:07:56,941 Shirley, call your babysitter, 208 00:07:56,966 --> 00:07:59,299 because this... means... 209 00:07:59,321 --> 00:08:00,822 Let me guess. 210 00:08:01,017 --> 00:08:01,849 War? 211 00:08:01,855 --> 00:08:03,055 Let the lady finish her sentence. 212 00:08:03,076 --> 00:08:05,042 Thank you, Jeff! 213 00:08:06,015 --> 00:08:07,318 War. Yeah. 214 00:08:20,324 --> 00:08:22,050 We'd like to sign out study room "F". 215 00:08:22,068 --> 00:08:25,368 It would appear that in this battle, our bulge was a little bit bigger. 216 00:08:25,393 --> 00:08:26,949 Guten bye-bye. 217 00:08:26,997 --> 00:08:28,331 Excuse me. Don't touch. 218 00:08:28,362 --> 00:08:31,216 Damn them and their perfectly crafted timepieces. 219 00:08:31,539 --> 00:08:32,855 What else do you have available? 220 00:08:39,163 --> 00:08:41,264 It's like a Darren Aronofsky film. 221 00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:42,403 I'll get this. 222 00:08:42,415 --> 00:08:44,625 My fifth father-in-law was an electrician. 223 00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:46,537 You pick up a thing or two. 224 00:08:48,779 --> 00:08:51,124 Agh! Everybody grab me, please! Ugh! 225 00:08:51,152 --> 00:08:52,903 Nobody grab him. 226 00:08:53,223 --> 00:08:54,976 Pierce, just let go. 227 00:08:55,008 --> 00:08:57,658 - You'd like that, wouldn't you? - Of the thing, Pierce. 228 00:08:57,699 --> 00:08:59,644 Oh, it smells like barbecue. 229 00:08:59,662 --> 00:09:01,280 We're getting up earlier tomorrow. 230 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:18,920 Oh, no. 231 00:09:18,952 --> 00:09:20,740 - Oh! - Ugh! 232 00:09:33,064 --> 00:09:34,807 Oh, look at them! 233 00:09:58,606 --> 00:10:00,118 Hi. 234 00:10:00,276 --> 00:10:02,298 Thanks again for taking me in. 235 00:10:02,318 --> 00:10:05,257 We must have been great pals before my Changnesia, huh? 236 00:10:05,296 --> 00:10:07,070 Oh, my... That's it. 237 00:10:07,154 --> 00:10:09,076 You may have fooled that handsome doctor, 238 00:10:09,094 --> 00:10:10,457 but you can't fool me. 239 00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:11,841 Oh, how convenient. 240 00:10:11,854 --> 00:10:13,763 Showing up here with Changnesia 241 00:10:13,794 --> 00:10:16,846 after you staged a coup, almost blew up the school, 242 00:10:16,864 --> 00:10:19,849 and locked me in a basement for months! 243 00:10:20,010 --> 00:10:22,437 Without so much as a drop of moisturizer! 244 00:10:22,482 --> 00:10:23,638 I did all that? 245 00:10:23,650 --> 00:10:25,406 I mean, Chang did all that? 246 00:10:25,693 --> 00:10:26,875 If that's true, 247 00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:29,900 then Chang, who is me, 248 00:10:30,141 --> 00:10:31,207 deserves to go to jail. 249 00:10:31,236 --> 00:10:32,202 Well, he did. 250 00:10:32,253 --> 00:10:33,704 And you do. 251 00:10:34,036 --> 00:10:35,626 This is the worst thing that's happened to me 252 00:10:35,645 --> 00:10:37,964 in my 96 hours of memory. 253 00:10:39,313 --> 00:10:42,965 And that failed ventriloquist's name was... 254 00:10:43,261 --> 00:10:44,596 Slobodan Milosevic. 255 00:10:44,627 --> 00:10:45,929 Ohh. 256 00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,740 For the essay portion of your test on Monday, 257 00:10:48,771 --> 00:10:51,933 you will be asked to describe a historical battle 258 00:10:51,975 --> 00:10:55,170 from the perspectives of both the winners and the losers. 259 00:10:55,439 --> 00:10:56,670 No dioramas. 260 00:10:59,420 --> 00:11:01,249 Guten luck on the examination. 261 00:11:01,326 --> 00:11:03,868 Ve vill be preparing for it in study room "F", 262 00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:05,377 as in "Fictory". 263 00:11:05,507 --> 00:11:08,439 I like the way your old chair cradles mein knaidels. 264 00:11:09,656 --> 00:11:10,990 I just made that up. 265 00:11:11,005 --> 00:11:12,753 You know, English is my second language. 266 00:11:12,779 --> 00:11:14,810 Jeff, stop. 267 00:11:14,928 --> 00:11:16,589 - It's over. - No. 268 00:11:16,613 --> 00:11:18,700 These guys are horrible. 269 00:11:18,748 --> 00:11:20,149 Totally. Except Karl. 270 00:11:20,162 --> 00:11:21,378 - Really, Abed? - Mm-hmm. 271 00:11:21,392 --> 00:11:22,314 Karl's not horrible? 272 00:11:22,326 --> 00:11:23,761 Even though he took your home? 273 00:11:23,786 --> 00:11:24,555 All right. 274 00:11:24,575 --> 00:11:26,297 When I was growing up, it was just me and my mom. 275 00:11:26,303 --> 00:11:27,553 I didn't have much of a family. 276 00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:30,052 That is, until I met you guys. 277 00:11:30,092 --> 00:11:32,651 So excuse me if I'm not willing to give up 278 00:11:32,676 --> 00:11:36,112 the place where we became a family. 279 00:11:36,132 --> 00:11:37,693 So what are we gonna do? 280 00:11:37,717 --> 00:11:40,002 We literally can't get up any earlier. 281 00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,557 Many years ago, 282 00:11:41,581 --> 00:11:44,700 before the concept of "too soon" existed, 283 00:11:44,724 --> 00:11:47,098 there was a show about a bunch of goofy Nazis 284 00:11:47,116 --> 00:11:48,511 running a prison camp, 285 00:11:48,601 --> 00:11:51,153 - and that show was called... - Hogan's Heroes? 286 00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:53,622 - Hogan's Heroes. - Yes. 287 00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:56,881 And while, for a latchkey kid with no jewish friends, 288 00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:59,112 it was a bit desensitizing, 289 00:11:59,218 --> 00:12:00,682 it still taught me 290 00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:04,020 that the lovable misfits always win. 291 00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:06,987 And the bumbling Germans always lose. 292 00:12:07,379 --> 00:12:08,947 All we need is a clever ruse. 293 00:12:08,972 --> 00:12:11,156 Strike that. All we need is a ruse. 294 00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:12,671 You had me at "ruse." 295 00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,241 - That was the last thing I said. - Good thing you said it. 296 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,861 Ah! 297 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:29,616 Welcome to Oktoberfest. 298 00:12:29,779 --> 00:12:32,114 - Vat is this? - Call it a peace offering. 299 00:12:32,134 --> 00:12:33,751 You won. We lost. 300 00:12:33,752 --> 00:12:35,667 Let's end this dumb war and move on. 301 00:12:35,685 --> 00:12:37,342 Care for some authentic blutwurst? 302 00:12:37,354 --> 00:12:39,036 This stuff's the real deal. 303 00:12:39,055 --> 00:12:40,586 We got it down in little Munich. 304 00:12:40,604 --> 00:12:42,722 It's been banned by the FDA. 305 00:12:42,742 --> 00:12:43,901 - Ooh! - No, Karl! 306 00:12:43,951 --> 00:12:45,859 That blutwurst was probably injected 307 00:12:45,871 --> 00:12:49,057 with a laxative to make us pull a grete waitz in our trousers. 308 00:12:49,094 --> 00:12:50,113 I promise you, 309 00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,279 there's nothing gross in this sausage. 310 00:12:52,343 --> 00:12:54,965 It's just pig's blood stuffed into a cow's intestine. 311 00:12:54,977 --> 00:12:58,052 Gott, that must be nearly 100 luftballons! 312 00:12:59,162 --> 00:13:01,196 Idiot! Do not accept their gifts. 313 00:13:01,229 --> 00:13:02,990 Something is clearly up. 314 00:13:03,008 --> 00:13:05,538 Please, these are just small tokens of our friendship. 315 00:13:05,641 --> 00:13:06,553 Oh, come on. 316 00:13:06,597 --> 00:13:08,912 Dirndls, blutwurst, luftballons. 317 00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:11,273 A cartoonishly large cake. 318 00:13:11,418 --> 00:13:12,930 This is a ruse. 319 00:13:12,942 --> 00:13:15,544 It is exactly like an episode of Hogan's Villains. 320 00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:17,936 Ruse? This is no ruse. 321 00:13:17,975 --> 00:13:20,426 Just take that large cake back to the study room 322 00:13:20,464 --> 00:13:21,815 and enjoy it there. 323 00:13:21,894 --> 00:13:22,948 So there's nothing hiding 324 00:13:22,967 --> 00:13:25,495 inside this giant German chocolate cake? 325 00:13:25,523 --> 00:13:26,773 Ask Abed. 326 00:13:26,804 --> 00:13:30,059 You can trust him. He's a friend. 327 00:13:30,978 --> 00:13:32,812 Nope. Just solid cake. 328 00:13:32,838 --> 00:13:34,328 Hmm. 329 00:13:35,420 --> 00:13:37,478 Then you wouldn't mind if I... 330 00:13:37,504 --> 00:13:38,534 Cut the cake? 331 00:13:38,577 --> 00:13:40,137 Or you could save it for later. 332 00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:41,455 You don't have to share it. 333 00:13:41,490 --> 00:13:43,501 Shirley stayed up all night baking that for you. 334 00:13:43,569 --> 00:13:46,986 No problem. I just used the eggs I would've used for my son's breakfast. 335 00:13:47,014 --> 00:13:48,946 But it would be so easy for me 336 00:13:48,971 --> 00:13:51,119 to carve into this cake... 337 00:13:51,157 --> 00:13:52,272 And serve us all! 338 00:13:52,294 --> 00:13:53,428 Wait! 339 00:13:53,492 --> 00:13:55,103 Damn it. Sorry. 340 00:13:55,156 --> 00:13:57,184 We thought you were stupider than this. 341 00:13:57,268 --> 00:13:58,756 Troy. 342 00:14:02,251 --> 00:14:04,302 Should I release the tear gas, or has that ship sank? 343 00:14:07,038 --> 00:14:08,519 An excellent attempt, Vinger, 344 00:14:08,537 --> 00:14:10,933 but we are smarter than you, and once again, 345 00:14:10,956 --> 00:14:12,890 it shall be us who are savoring 346 00:14:12,911 --> 00:14:16,311 the smooth and somewhat ha-ha-hoppy taste of victory. 347 00:14:16,335 --> 00:14:18,204 Beer me, bitte. 348 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,569 Here you go. 349 00:14:19,586 --> 00:14:21,681 As they say in Ferris Bueller, 350 00:14:21,956 --> 00:14:22,994 danke schoen. 351 00:14:23,004 --> 00:14:24,948 And as they say in the movie, gotcha! 352 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,044 Gotcha. 353 00:14:28,605 --> 00:14:30,616 - Busted. - Busted? 354 00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:31,492 For what? 355 00:14:31,529 --> 00:14:34,732 But there were dozens of students at that Oktoberfest. 356 00:14:34,883 --> 00:14:36,840 But you were the only German students 357 00:14:36,865 --> 00:14:38,365 celebrating German culture, 358 00:14:38,379 --> 00:14:40,964 and here at Greendale, that is a big, fat no-no. 359 00:14:41,028 --> 00:14:44,503 We frown on anyone celebrating their own cultural heritage. 360 00:14:44,534 --> 00:14:47,186 I mean, if the hasidic student union wants 361 00:14:47,199 --> 00:14:50,124 to host a Kwanzaa celebration, you go, Jews! 362 00:14:50,149 --> 00:14:51,883 Hanukkah? No, sir. 363 00:14:51,920 --> 00:14:53,524 It's why I keep a detailed list 364 00:14:53,555 --> 00:14:55,462 of every student's race and nationality... 365 00:14:55,490 --> 00:14:57,991 to prevent racism and nationalism. 366 00:14:58,016 --> 00:15:00,354 - This is an outrage! - Relax. 367 00:15:00,385 --> 00:15:01,560 It's not like you're expelled. 368 00:15:01,572 --> 00:15:03,962 You're just banned from certain campus amenities, 369 00:15:03,980 --> 00:15:06,102 uh, water fountains, swimming pools... huh. 370 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,520 Most of these are water-based. 371 00:15:07,636 --> 00:15:09,340 Oh, and the study rooms. 372 00:15:09,371 --> 00:15:10,609 - Oh! - Uh! 373 00:15:11,340 --> 00:15:13,510 Oh, I gotta take this. Bye-bye. 374 00:15:15,125 --> 00:15:16,996 Dean Pelton... if I don't offer you a receipt, 375 00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:18,988 your education is free. 376 00:15:19,773 --> 00:15:21,073 Chang did what? 377 00:15:32,527 --> 00:15:33,731 Oh, cool. 378 00:15:33,768 --> 00:15:35,667 - What are we protesting? - You guys. 379 00:15:35,954 --> 00:15:38,270 You've been hogging that study room for three years. 380 00:15:38,303 --> 00:15:39,710 Somebody finally stood up to you, 381 00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:41,016 and you had them banned. 382 00:15:41,086 --> 00:15:43,813 Why must our people always be the victims? 383 00:15:44,035 --> 00:15:45,886 - What do we want? - Justice! 384 00:15:45,898 --> 00:15:47,747 - When do we want it? - Now! 385 00:15:47,771 --> 00:15:49,425 - What do we want? - Justice! 386 00:15:49,437 --> 00:15:50,638 - Oh, my God. - When do we want it? 387 00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:51,660 - Now! - This whole time, 388 00:15:51,678 --> 00:15:53,841 we thought the Germans were the Germans. 389 00:15:53,866 --> 00:15:57,219 But it turns out, we're the Germans. 390 00:16:01,238 --> 00:16:04,364 Hang on. You guys are all siding with the Germans? 391 00:16:04,384 --> 00:16:05,564 You realize these guys are, like, 392 00:16:05,582 --> 00:16:07,170 contractor-grade tools. 393 00:16:07,349 --> 00:16:09,829 They signed out that room fair and square, 394 00:16:09,847 --> 00:16:11,620 and then you had to take it too far, 395 00:16:11,639 --> 00:16:14,074 like you always do with that room. 396 00:16:14,089 --> 00:16:15,295 Yeah! 397 00:16:19,466 --> 00:16:20,672 Damn it! 398 00:16:20,759 --> 00:16:22,699 I signed this room out! 399 00:16:22,917 --> 00:16:24,501 And I have a final tomorrow! 400 00:16:24,554 --> 00:16:26,759 They lost a pen. 401 00:16:27,854 --> 00:16:29,123 Can you come back in a few hours? 402 00:16:29,145 --> 00:16:30,833 We're playing Dungeons & Dragons. 403 00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:33,055 - Yes? - I left my notebook in there. 404 00:16:33,073 --> 00:16:34,206 Well, you're going to have to come back later. 405 00:16:34,229 --> 00:16:36,197 I'm trying to prove a point. 406 00:16:36,483 --> 00:16:38,652 You're like those guys on Hogan's Heroes. 407 00:16:38,709 --> 00:16:39,620 The Nazis. 408 00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,192 You take that back! 409 00:16:42,526 --> 00:16:43,618 I'm jewish. 410 00:16:43,648 --> 00:16:45,798 Yeah, Leonard. Don't call me a Nazi. 411 00:16:45,823 --> 00:16:48,114 You are wearing an S.S. t-shirt. 412 00:16:48,204 --> 00:16:49,812 - Oh. - Oh! 413 00:16:49,830 --> 00:16:52,365 - Oh! - Oh. 414 00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:55,023 Open two. 415 00:17:00,378 --> 00:17:01,537 What are you doing here? 416 00:17:01,617 --> 00:17:03,745 You, sir, have been bailed out. 417 00:17:03,782 --> 00:17:06,951 We are going to nurse you back to health. 418 00:17:07,309 --> 00:17:08,875 But why? 419 00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:11,108 Why take me back in after everything I did to you? 420 00:17:11,127 --> 00:17:12,765 When I heard that you had checked yourself into jail, 421 00:17:12,771 --> 00:17:14,742 I realized you couldn't be faking. 422 00:17:14,791 --> 00:17:17,220 The real Chang would never have remorse 423 00:17:17,239 --> 00:17:18,377 for what he did. 424 00:17:18,419 --> 00:17:19,948 I believe you... 425 00:17:20,359 --> 00:17:22,136 Kevin. 426 00:17:22,662 --> 00:17:24,979 Plus, curing Changnesia, that's a human interest story. 427 00:17:24,997 --> 00:17:26,088 That puts Greendale on the map. 428 00:17:26,107 --> 00:17:29,351 But your health comes second, whoop, first, to the school. 429 00:17:29,457 --> 00:17:31,995 Oh, let's not hug. Do you mind getting my... 430 00:17:32,031 --> 00:17:32,973 Okay. 431 00:17:33,054 --> 00:17:35,372 Probably shouldn't step on it. 432 00:17:35,525 --> 00:17:37,817 I feel guilty eating this cake. 433 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,719 And not for the usual reasons. 434 00:17:39,915 --> 00:17:41,609 Hate to say it, but this is what happens 435 00:17:41,627 --> 00:17:43,262 when a group of people blindly follows 436 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,241 a charismatic, golden-throated leader. 437 00:17:45,266 --> 00:17:47,276 Are you actually comparing me to Hitler? 438 00:17:47,308 --> 00:17:48,719 There are similarities. 439 00:17:48,743 --> 00:17:50,769 Hang on. Nobody's even willing 440 00:17:50,788 --> 00:17:53,495 to consider that I might be the Hitler of this group? 441 00:17:53,718 --> 00:17:55,196 We were the good guys. 442 00:17:55,215 --> 00:17:57,300 How could everybody think we're the bad guys? 443 00:17:57,325 --> 00:17:58,225 We are. 444 00:17:58,271 --> 00:17:59,972 When Karl and I were raiding the Diamond North Caves, 445 00:17:59,998 --> 00:18:01,150 I was facing 50 Death Beatles. 446 00:18:01,169 --> 00:18:02,750 I would've perished for sure, but he saved me. 447 00:18:02,774 --> 00:18:04,159 Then when I had a chance to return the favor, 448 00:18:04,178 --> 00:18:05,907 I looked him in the eye, and I told him it was solid cake. 449 00:18:05,972 --> 00:18:07,445 You were just following orders. 450 00:18:07,519 --> 00:18:09,414 There's probably a way I can make it up to him. 451 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:10,655 Oh. 452 00:18:10,765 --> 00:18:12,619 Maybe I'll give him my four-pronged trident. 453 00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:14,220 Why don't you call it a "quadrident"? 454 00:18:14,245 --> 00:18:15,697 - Shh. - Ah! 455 00:18:15,709 --> 00:18:17,343 There you people are. 456 00:18:17,534 --> 00:18:21,108 I believe we have something to discuss. 457 00:18:21,513 --> 00:18:23,029 Oh, my God. 458 00:18:23,138 --> 00:18:25,406 You clever British bastard. 459 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,752 You set this whole thing up to teach us a lesson. 460 00:18:27,770 --> 00:18:29,535 - What? - Making the school pretend 461 00:18:29,553 --> 00:18:32,162 to hate us, to show us that one man's hero 462 00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:33,546 is another man's villain. 463 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:36,159 Of course! We aren't Nazis. 464 00:18:36,890 --> 00:18:38,574 I tip my cap to you, sir. 465 00:18:38,598 --> 00:18:39,492 Lesson learned. 466 00:18:39,504 --> 00:18:42,727 Are you actually suggesting that a Professor at Greendale 467 00:18:42,745 --> 00:18:44,880 would set up an elaborate ruse 468 00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:47,168 just to teach seven students a lesson? 469 00:18:47,182 --> 00:18:48,270 - Uh, yes. - Yeah. 470 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:49,595 - Yes. - That's a Wednesday. 471 00:18:49,632 --> 00:18:51,049 Oh, my God. 472 00:18:51,132 --> 00:18:54,246 I've made a terrible mistake coming here. 473 00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:57,281 So this wasn't part of the class? 474 00:18:57,397 --> 00:18:58,795 Then why are you here? 475 00:18:58,843 --> 00:19:01,124 Because you had a test today, and you all missed it! 476 00:19:01,185 --> 00:19:02,399 "F" s for everyone. 477 00:19:02,411 --> 00:19:03,661 Oh. 478 00:19:03,834 --> 00:19:07,181 Maybe it's not too late to get out of my contract. 479 00:19:10,038 --> 00:19:11,939 - I really am Hitler. - Yeah. 480 00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,508 So it's just decided. 481 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:16,534 No vote or anything. 482 00:19:16,713 --> 00:19:17,791 I hate this. 483 00:19:17,803 --> 00:19:19,203 I wish there was a way that we could 484 00:19:19,457 --> 00:19:20,608 make it up to people. 485 00:19:21,028 --> 00:19:22,141 That's it. 486 00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,639 We need to make reparations. 487 00:19:25,034 --> 00:19:26,985 We have to start giving back 488 00:19:27,061 --> 00:19:30,495 because Greendale has given us so much. 489 00:19:30,589 --> 00:19:32,423 It gave us the study room. 490 00:19:32,836 --> 00:19:35,977 And that study room is our home. 491 00:19:36,678 --> 00:19:40,984 But our home is more than those four walls. 492 00:19:42,134 --> 00:19:46,092 And our family is more than the seven of us. 493 00:19:46,890 --> 00:19:50,319 It's all of Greendale. 494 00:19:50,730 --> 00:19:53,982 And everyone deserves to have what we have. 495 00:19:56,931 --> 00:19:57,901 What do you know? 496 00:19:57,938 --> 00:20:00,151 Greendale just got slightly better. 497 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:04,771 It's good to be back. 498 00:20:04,905 --> 00:20:06,638 Should we go celebrate at Skeeper's? 499 00:20:06,656 --> 00:20:08,655 Oh, come on, Shirley. We all have lives. 500 00:20:08,677 --> 00:20:09,968 There you are! 501 00:20:09,993 --> 00:20:12,679 I am so proud how you stepped up and made amends. 502 00:20:12,703 --> 00:20:15,107 And everyone forgave you. 503 00:20:15,158 --> 00:20:17,193 Because when it comes right down to it, 504 00:20:17,224 --> 00:20:18,924 Greendale's a forgiving place. 505 00:20:18,970 --> 00:20:20,168 It really is. 506 00:20:20,188 --> 00:20:21,918 Please keep that in mind the next 20 seconds. 507 00:20:21,948 --> 00:20:23,432 Remember that people can "Chang". 508 00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:24,398 People can what? 509 00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,047 Hmm? 510 00:20:26,563 --> 00:20:27,543 Hi, I'm Kevin. 511 00:20:30,638 --> 00:20:32,639 He has Changnesia. 512 00:20:35,469 --> 00:20:36,804 And you know what that sound is. 513 00:20:36,832 --> 00:20:38,643 It's the Troy and Abed Podcast. 514 00:20:38,661 --> 00:20:40,607 Sponsored by Shirley's Sandwiches, home of the fried chicken skin wrap. 515 00:20:40,631 --> 00:20:42,377 Is it inside? Is it outside? You find out. 516 00:20:42,392 --> 00:20:44,110 Okay, our guest today is from Germany, Europe. 517 00:20:44,135 --> 00:20:46,001 Karl, guten tag. How are you doing? 518 00:20:46,028 --> 00:20:47,202 - Sehr gut. - Great. 519 00:20:47,220 --> 00:20:48,721 Now's the part of the show where we get real. 520 00:20:48,756 --> 00:20:50,940 Friendship, loyalty, betrayal, redemption. 521 00:20:50,952 --> 00:20:52,848 - Is this an apology? - Yes. 522 00:20:52,873 --> 00:20:55,271 And for being a guest on the show today, we want you to have this. 523 00:20:55,324 --> 00:20:57,176 It's a gift certificate to Shirley's Sandwiches, 524 00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:59,690 home of the triple-fried monte cristo. 525 00:20:59,735 --> 00:21:01,504 We challenge you to taste the bread. 526 00:21:01,538 --> 00:21:03,455 This coupon is a $5 bill. 527 00:21:03,542 --> 00:21:05,059 Well, that's all the time we have today. 528 00:21:05,065 --> 00:21:06,334 For Troy Barnes, I'm Abed Nadir. 529 00:21:06,359 --> 00:21:07,882 And for Abed Nadir, I'm Troy Barnes. 530 00:21:07,894 --> 00:21:10,062 And we're out. 531 00:21:10,663 --> 00:21:11,757 Thanks so much for doing this. 532 00:21:11,776 --> 00:21:13,660 So will you be on my podcast tomorrow? 533 00:21:13,691 --> 00:21:15,678 We've got a thing. 534 00:21:15,932 --> 00:21:19,185 Beep, boop, bow!