1 00:00:01,893 --> 00:00:04,271 Look at us, still together as a group, 2 00:00:04,313 --> 00:00:09,568 even, what, two months after being kicked out of you know where. 3 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:12,237 Yeah, good thing I came up with this idea for potluck dinners. 4 00:00:12,279 --> 00:00:13,947 Pierce, all you said was, "I'm hungry." 5 00:00:13,989 --> 00:00:15,533 All Henry Ford said was, "I need a ride." 6 00:00:16,534 --> 00:00:18,285 Troy, is that a casserole? 7 00:00:18,327 --> 00:00:20,663 It's Bagel Bites in a deconstructed hot pocket reduction 8 00:00:20,705 --> 00:00:22,373 with a Doritos glaze. 9 00:00:22,414 --> 00:00:24,166 I just really want to make my food, you know. 10 00:00:24,208 --> 00:00:27,252 Did anybody bring anything that isn't poison? 11 00:00:27,294 --> 00:00:30,506 I need to eat natural, organic foods, 12 00:00:30,548 --> 00:00:32,383 or I'm never gonna get rid of this hangover. 13 00:00:32,424 --> 00:00:34,635 Jeff, what'd you bring? 14 00:00:34,677 --> 00:00:35,761 Pack of Life Savers. 15 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,639 Sorry. Dead battery. 16 00:00:38,681 --> 00:00:40,391 Where's Abed? Have you seen Abed? 17 00:00:42,434 --> 00:00:44,061 He's probably out getting something really cool for the dinner. 18 00:00:46,938 --> 00:00:50,067 See? Cool. Abed brought delicious police. 19 00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:53,111 Abed, what happened? 20 00:00:53,153 --> 00:00:54,572 Found your friend going through the dumpster 21 00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:57,115 outside the administration building in Greendale again. 22 00:00:57,157 --> 00:01:00,452 This cadet could use a lesson in intergalactic protocol. 23 00:01:01,453 --> 00:01:02,830 It's okay, Officer. 24 00:01:02,872 --> 00:01:04,373 He's just playing a character from TV. 25 00:01:04,415 --> 00:01:07,752 Oh, yes, I'm very familiar with Inspector Spacetime. 26 00:01:07,793 --> 00:01:08,836 You think a guy becomes a cop 27 00:01:08,878 --> 00:01:10,546 because his prom night was a dream? 28 00:01:10,588 --> 00:01:13,382 If this were Comic-Con, I'd take a bullet for that kid. 29 00:01:13,424 --> 00:01:15,551 But, here in the real world, trespassing is a crime. 30 00:01:15,593 --> 00:01:16,844 We're sorry, Officer. 31 00:01:16,886 --> 00:01:18,970 Our friend has been having a hard time 32 00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:22,600 adjusting to being expelled from Greendale. 33 00:01:22,641 --> 00:01:24,560 It won't happen again. That's for sure. 34 00:01:24,602 --> 00:01:26,019 I talked to your former dean. 35 00:01:26,061 --> 00:01:27,479 I recommended he press charges. 36 00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,064 He said he'd hold off on the condition 37 00:01:29,106 --> 00:01:31,275 that you set an appointment with this guy. 38 00:01:31,316 --> 00:01:33,611 He's offering to foot the bill for the consultation himself. 39 00:01:33,652 --> 00:01:35,070 It's the number for a psychiatrist. 40 00:01:35,112 --> 00:01:37,322 What? No. Abed's not crazy. 41 00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,575 Where does the dean get off? He's not the real dean. 42 00:01:39,617 --> 00:01:43,621 He's been replaced by an identical life-form for some nefarious purpose. 43 00:01:43,662 --> 00:01:45,997 Reggie, to the Time Booth. We haven't much… 44 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:48,041 Space. 45 00:01:48,083 --> 00:01:49,794 I'll be right there, Inspector. 46 00:01:49,835 --> 00:01:52,463 Hey, before I go, you really shouldn't be using this 47 00:01:52,504 --> 00:01:54,298 to prop open your building's door. 48 00:01:54,339 --> 00:01:55,883 This is an antique fire brick. 49 00:01:55,925 --> 00:01:57,885 I'd say pre-civil war. 50 00:01:57,927 --> 00:02:01,680 Note the uneven orange hue and the embossment on the back. 51 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,557 What a nifty little piece of Americana. 52 00:02:03,599 --> 00:02:05,559 You could get 50, 60 bucks for it from the right collector. 53 00:02:07,102 --> 00:02:09,020 I watch a lot of Antiques Roadshow. 54 00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:11,148 Oh. 55 00:02:11,189 --> 00:02:14,192 Anyway, walk to your cars in pairs tonight. 56 00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,611 Rape's up 8%. 57 00:02:19,281 --> 00:02:22,033 $60? 58 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:24,536 Hello? Rich people, Troy's joining you. 59 00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,497 Yes, I'll hold. 60 00:02:59,154 --> 00:03:00,197 Abed. 61 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,658 I'm Dr. Heidi. 62 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,326 We're going to have a little chat tonight, you and I. 63 00:03:04,368 --> 00:03:06,035 How does that sound? I don't need therapy. 64 00:03:06,077 --> 00:03:07,997 Well, that's a perfectly normal response. 65 00:03:08,079 --> 00:03:10,582 I concur with Dr. Heidi's diagnosis. 66 00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:12,209 I haven't diagnosed anything yet. 67 00:03:12,250 --> 00:03:14,211 Psych major. Got your back, brah. 68 00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,799 I have to say, I didn't expect to see so many of you. 69 00:03:20,509 --> 00:03:23,261 Abed won't go to any kind of doctor on his own. 70 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,389 We caught him last year trying to remove his own tonsils. 71 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:27,641 Well, why don't you let me take it from here? 72 00:03:27,683 --> 00:03:28,893 You have to understand about Abed. 73 00:03:28,934 --> 00:03:30,644 He's usually, you know, adorable weird, 74 00:03:30,686 --> 00:03:33,397 like Mork from Ork, but, since we got expelled, 75 00:03:33,438 --> 00:03:36,066 he's been creepy weird, like present-day Robin Williams. 76 00:03:36,107 --> 00:03:37,275 I'm not crazy. 77 00:03:37,317 --> 00:03:40,237 Well, Abed, I don't deal in crazy. 78 00:03:40,278 --> 00:03:42,364 I deal in health. Hmm. 79 00:03:42,406 --> 00:03:45,617 So how long has Abed needed a crazy amount of help? 80 00:03:49,079 --> 00:03:52,624 All of this behavior started after you were expelled? 81 00:03:54,418 --> 00:03:56,962 There may have been a ramp-up. 82 00:03:59,715 --> 00:04:01,550 It's okay, buddy. 83 00:04:01,592 --> 00:04:03,052 Just a few more minutes, and we're good until spring, okay? 84 00:04:03,093 --> 00:04:04,595 But it doesn't make any sense. 85 00:04:04,636 --> 00:04:05,971 Think of it this way. 86 00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:08,390 We get the hour back later in the year. 87 00:04:08,432 --> 00:04:09,975 Yeah. 88 00:04:11,309 --> 00:04:13,062 I rented Tower Heist last night, 89 00:04:13,103 --> 00:04:14,855 and I won't spoil the ending, but let me tell you, 90 00:04:14,897 --> 00:04:16,774 it was quite the hilarious thrill ride. 91 00:04:16,815 --> 00:04:20,485 That Brett Ratner, he's a master at comedic action-adventure. 92 00:04:20,527 --> 00:04:23,072 Mmm. A master at storytelling. 93 00:04:23,113 --> 00:04:25,407 He's just a master at making movies in general. 94 00:04:25,449 --> 00:04:27,534 I'm gonna say it. He's the new Spielberg. 95 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,081 I have to go. Excuse me. 96 00:04:32,163 --> 00:04:34,249 Okay. 97 00:04:34,291 --> 00:04:37,127 You're a bad person. You're a bad person. 98 00:04:41,465 --> 00:04:43,634 Time enough at last to eat a sandwich. 99 00:04:43,675 --> 00:04:45,302 Though even he knew that this sandwich 100 00:04:45,343 --> 00:04:46,762 was nearer his last sandwich than his first. 101 00:04:46,804 --> 00:04:48,263 Abed, I'm trying to eat. 102 00:04:48,305 --> 00:04:49,890 He said, oldly, 103 00:04:49,932 --> 00:04:53,769 his brittle bones straining to support the weight of his wrinkly skin. 104 00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,313 Stop narrating me. 105 00:04:56,354 --> 00:04:58,899 He shouted to no one, just a man alone in time with nothing 106 00:04:58,941 --> 00:05:01,151 but the cold squishiness of tuna salad to comfort him. 107 00:05:01,986 --> 00:05:03,153 I take it back. 108 00:05:03,194 --> 00:05:04,905 I don't want to be in your novel. 109 00:05:04,947 --> 00:05:07,240 Pierce Hawthorne had nearly lost his grip on reality. 110 00:05:07,282 --> 00:05:08,826 Lately, he'd begun to think he was in a novel. 111 00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:10,410 And action. 112 00:05:12,454 --> 00:05:14,247 Abed, what the hell are you doing? 113 00:05:14,289 --> 00:05:15,749 Cut. We got it. One more for safety. 114 00:05:15,791 --> 00:05:18,585 Abed, it's 4:30 in the morning, and you're in my bedroom. 115 00:05:18,627 --> 00:05:19,753 Use that. Okay. 116 00:05:19,795 --> 00:05:22,213 And action. 117 00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,424 But that's almost completely nearly all of it. 118 00:05:24,466 --> 00:05:26,760 If Abed is as sick as you all say, then I have no… 119 00:05:26,802 --> 00:05:30,722 Wait a minute. Nobody in this room gets to define sick. 120 00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,391 I do. I'm a psychiatrist. 121 00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:34,685 Any kind of doctor can really. 122 00:05:34,726 --> 00:05:35,978 Really? Yes. 123 00:05:36,020 --> 00:05:38,605 Well, if Abed's sick, then we're all sick. 124 00:05:38,647 --> 00:05:40,565 Yeah. 125 00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:43,234 You can't determine a person's sanity from a few amusing stories. 126 00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,653 Exactly. That's right. 127 00:05:44,695 --> 00:05:46,738 I mean, if anything, Abed's more sane than any of us. 128 00:05:46,780 --> 00:05:48,448 Yeah. Well. 129 00:05:48,490 --> 00:05:51,326 I mean, he's certainly the craziest one of us, 130 00:05:51,368 --> 00:05:55,747 but, you know, we're all kind of crazy-town banana pants. 131 00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:58,416 Talk to me about crazy-town banana pants. 132 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,712 Look, we're just saying it's been a crazy year for everybody. 133 00:06:01,753 --> 00:06:04,506 Who among us hasn't had the odd banana in his or her pants, right? 134 00:06:04,548 --> 00:06:06,215 I have. 135 00:06:13,098 --> 00:06:15,934 How long does peyote last? 136 00:06:15,976 --> 00:06:17,769 Just asking for a friend. 137 00:06:21,439 --> 00:06:22,816 What are you doing? 138 00:06:22,858 --> 00:06:24,484 Nothing. 139 00:06:24,526 --> 00:06:27,029 Nothing my ass. What are all these cameras doing here? 140 00:06:31,909 --> 00:06:33,577 Here, take my coat. 141 00:06:34,452 --> 00:06:35,579 Oh. 142 00:06:35,620 --> 00:06:36,997 Thank you. 143 00:06:37,039 --> 00:06:38,749 That's so sweet. 144 00:06:40,125 --> 00:06:42,127 Just don't eat anything or drink anything, 145 00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,922 and no sweating or bending at the elbows, 146 00:06:44,963 --> 00:06:46,924 and no chairs with backrests, 147 00:06:46,965 --> 00:06:49,801 and if you take it off, wooden hangers only. 148 00:06:51,469 --> 00:06:53,304 You're probably warm now, right? 149 00:06:57,935 --> 00:07:00,145 Good news, guys. I spent all my money. 150 00:07:00,187 --> 00:07:01,563 Troy, you can't bring that in here. 151 00:07:01,605 --> 00:07:03,941 Yes, I can. It's all-terrain, dummy. 152 00:07:03,982 --> 00:07:06,985 I made a plate of cookies for the study group, but my boys ate them, 153 00:07:07,027 --> 00:07:08,570 so since they took something of yours, 154 00:07:08,612 --> 00:07:10,447 you all get something of theirs. 155 00:07:10,488 --> 00:07:12,323 Elijah loves this, Britta. 156 00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:15,452 There you go, Jeff. There you go, Troy. 157 00:07:15,493 --> 00:07:18,122 Karate championship, second place! 158 00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:20,749 Now I'll be unstoppable. 159 00:07:21,625 --> 00:07:23,168 Oy-ay! 160 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:26,088 So you see what you call insanity we call solidarity. 161 00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:27,505 I'm sorry. 162 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:29,925 We just finished telling him about it, 163 00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:31,260 and you grab it and squeeze it? 164 00:07:31,301 --> 00:07:32,761 I said I was sorry. 165 00:07:32,803 --> 00:07:36,181 Uh-huh. And so as a group, do you always indulge Abed 166 00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,058 in these little misadventures? 167 00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,768 Take that back. 168 00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:42,729 Our adventures are very manly. 169 00:07:44,314 --> 00:07:45,899 I have to say there's more important 170 00:07:45,941 --> 00:07:48,152 to mental health than a support system. 171 00:07:48,193 --> 00:07:51,696 And assuming that this group is, for Abed, said support system, 172 00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:54,199 I think I've heard everything I need to hear 173 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:56,326 in order to make a decision. 174 00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:58,369 I think that Abed should be committed. 175 00:08:00,371 --> 00:08:03,041 You mean committed to his character work, right? 176 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:05,460 Because he already is. Abed, show him your Don Draper. 177 00:08:05,502 --> 00:08:06,544 Cigarettes. 178 00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:09,339 No, I mean an institution. 179 00:08:10,007 --> 00:08:11,967 You mean like marriage? 180 00:08:12,009 --> 00:08:13,135 I mean a mental institution. 181 00:08:13,177 --> 00:08:15,095 Ah. So do I. 182 00:08:15,137 --> 00:08:17,347 Will someone please help me lighten the mood? 183 00:08:20,558 --> 00:08:25,605 Please, Mr. Dr. Psychiatrist, sir, 184 00:08:25,647 --> 00:08:28,233 please don't send my best friend to crazy people jail. 185 00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,901 Relax. He doesn't have the right. 186 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,195 Abed's not dangerous. 187 00:08:31,236 --> 00:08:34,114 Yeah, he's just unique, like a snowflake 188 00:08:34,156 --> 00:08:35,406 who gets bent out of shape 189 00:08:35,448 --> 00:08:37,117 when you mix up Star Wars and Space Treks. 190 00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:38,869 Or a serial killer's signature. 191 00:08:38,910 --> 00:08:40,704 I'm a psych major. 192 00:08:40,745 --> 00:08:42,914 His continued obsession with Greendale Community College 193 00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:44,916 suggests the potential for escalation. 194 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,836 And, frankly, these stories you've been telling me are very troubling. 195 00:08:47,878 --> 00:08:49,213 You're troubled? 196 00:08:49,254 --> 00:08:51,340 I don't remember any of those things happening. 197 00:08:51,381 --> 00:08:52,924 Since when do these three live together? 198 00:08:52,966 --> 00:08:55,844 Look, Abed's obsession with Greendale doesn't make him crazy. 199 00:08:55,886 --> 00:08:57,054 If you had gone to school there, 200 00:08:57,095 --> 00:08:58,471 you'd be obsessed with it too. 201 00:08:58,513 --> 00:09:00,640 It was a messed-up place. We had lockers. 202 00:09:00,682 --> 00:09:02,600 Yeah. We're survivors. 203 00:09:05,187 --> 00:09:07,231 My name is Pwofussa Wobinswin. 204 00:09:07,272 --> 00:09:09,482 Who's weady to wearn? 205 00:09:09,524 --> 00:09:13,070 Dean, this is not the way to agree on parking 206 00:09:13,111 --> 00:09:15,572 for the job fair! It's inhumane. 207 00:09:15,613 --> 00:09:16,990 You have a better idea, Britta? 208 00:09:17,032 --> 00:09:19,034 Yes. Thousands of them. 209 00:09:20,035 --> 00:09:21,703 Vicki to queen 3. 210 00:09:23,205 --> 00:09:24,455 Neigh. 211 00:09:30,587 --> 00:09:33,298 That's all for today. Read chapter four. 212 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,346 Okay, we're just gonna ignore that. 213 00:09:50,899 --> 00:09:52,109 Bananas? Yes. 214 00:09:52,150 --> 00:09:53,526 Toast? Yes. 215 00:09:53,568 --> 00:09:55,112 Bubble gum? Yes. 216 00:09:55,153 --> 00:09:56,821 Pancakes? Yes. 217 00:09:56,863 --> 00:09:58,448 Fries? Get out. 218 00:09:59,783 --> 00:10:01,910 Get out. 219 00:10:01,952 --> 00:10:04,829 There's one every year. I will not tolerate clowning. 220 00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:06,706 Car keys? Yes. 221 00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:09,459 Okay, last bathroom break. We've got to cram for… 222 00:10:12,670 --> 00:10:14,298 Excuse me, sir, can we get to our… 223 00:10:17,092 --> 00:10:19,261 Slow your bones, Rufus. 224 00:10:19,303 --> 00:10:21,305 We got a long road tomorrow. 225 00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:24,474 Welcome… 226 00:10:28,979 --> 00:10:30,272 To Ladders. 227 00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:34,651 Interesting. 228 00:10:35,110 --> 00:10:36,861 Eh. 229 00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:38,780 Just wanted to see if we got the same thing. 230 00:10:38,822 --> 00:10:43,076 It sounds as though this Greendale had quite an effect on all of you. 231 00:10:43,118 --> 00:10:45,745 You should all definitely stop dwelling on it if you want to be healthy. 232 00:10:45,787 --> 00:10:48,332 Well, come on, it wasn't all bad. 233 00:10:48,373 --> 00:10:50,459 I was there longer than anybody, and I'm fine. 234 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:51,751 How are you? 235 00:10:51,793 --> 00:10:53,044 Why do you ask? 3:30. 236 00:10:53,086 --> 00:10:55,172 Uh-oh. 237 00:10:55,213 --> 00:10:58,716 What Pierce was saying before he started sundowning is true. 238 00:10:58,758 --> 00:11:01,052 We can't just pass the crazy buck to Greendale. 239 00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,387 It could be a good place too. 240 00:11:02,429 --> 00:11:03,680 That really doesn't matter. 241 00:11:03,721 --> 00:11:05,098 Yeah, we have a lot of memories 242 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:06,641 of Greendale being in our corner. 243 00:11:06,683 --> 00:11:08,518 Dean-a-ling. 244 00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:10,937 I just wanted to drop by and tell you we ought to be hot-stepping it out 245 00:11:10,979 --> 00:11:13,940 to the parking lot in a brisk, but orderly fashion. 246 00:11:13,982 --> 00:11:15,066 Is there a fire drill? 247 00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,194 No, sir, there's an actual fire. 248 00:11:17,235 --> 00:11:19,321 I wanted you guys to be the first to know before I tell everyone else. 249 00:11:19,363 --> 00:11:21,448 I know. It's not right to play favorites, 250 00:11:21,490 --> 00:11:22,824 but it is no more right to sit on your feelings, 251 00:11:22,866 --> 00:11:24,575 and I don't know what I'd do without you guys. 252 00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,161 Whoa. Okay. 253 00:11:26,203 --> 00:11:27,871 Fire, fire! There's a fire! 254 00:11:37,255 --> 00:11:38,547 Darcy, you've got a cold. 255 00:11:38,589 --> 00:11:41,009 I feel fine. You're sick. Go home! 256 00:11:41,051 --> 00:11:42,386 Get out of here. Get out of here. 257 00:11:42,427 --> 00:11:44,095 Get out of here. Get out of here! 258 00:11:45,389 --> 00:11:47,140 I can't believe we got here too late for pizza. 259 00:11:47,182 --> 00:11:48,850 Worst pizza day ever. 260 00:11:48,892 --> 00:11:54,981 Oh, darn it. What am I gonna do with all this garbage? 261 00:11:55,023 --> 00:11:58,360 Psst, it's me, the dean. 262 00:11:58,402 --> 00:12:01,321 I pulled the last six pieces of pizza for you. 263 00:12:03,031 --> 00:12:04,491 Oh. 264 00:12:04,533 --> 00:12:06,993 Back to garbage detail. 265 00:12:07,035 --> 00:12:09,246 We have a few students with birthdays today, 266 00:12:09,287 --> 00:12:11,498 but, hey, why single them out? 267 00:12:11,540 --> 00:12:14,167 What about the students who aren't celebrating anything at all? 268 00:12:14,209 --> 00:12:16,920 Are they any less special? 269 00:12:34,145 --> 00:12:35,688 Damn it. Out of slugs. 270 00:12:35,730 --> 00:12:37,399 Next time, I'll put you square, 271 00:12:37,441 --> 00:12:39,817 you pickle-sucking McGillycuddy. 272 00:12:42,112 --> 00:12:43,488 Why did you save me, Dean? 273 00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,824 I know how important paintball is to you, Abed. 274 00:12:46,866 --> 00:12:48,076 I wanted you to win. 275 00:12:48,118 --> 00:12:49,453 It's not important anymore. 276 00:12:49,494 --> 00:12:50,828 I get it now. 277 00:12:50,870 --> 00:12:53,164 It just feels forced. 278 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:55,459 You just enjoy your prize. 279 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,794 Free tickets to… 280 00:12:57,835 --> 00:13:00,380 To see Chicago at the Greendale Civic Center… 281 00:13:01,756 --> 00:13:03,841 With George Wendt and… 282 00:13:06,261 --> 00:13:08,555 Stefanie Powers. 283 00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:17,314 Lame! 284 00:13:17,355 --> 00:13:19,190 Okay. That was great, 285 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:21,067 but you really didn't need to go into it. 286 00:13:21,109 --> 00:13:23,236 You know what occurs to me? 287 00:13:23,278 --> 00:13:25,780 What all those great Greendale memories have in common? 288 00:13:25,822 --> 00:13:26,948 I was barely in them? 289 00:13:26,990 --> 00:13:29,200 They were all about Dean Pelton. 290 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,536 That's what I've been trying to make you guys understand for the last two months. 291 00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:33,871 I keep telling you, we weren't expelled by the real dean. 292 00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,664 It couldn't have been him. He loved us. 293 00:13:35,706 --> 00:13:38,502 Maybe we've been so concerned with moving past Greendale, 294 00:13:38,543 --> 00:13:39,877 we've been living in denial. 295 00:13:39,919 --> 00:13:42,589 It's true. I mean, let's face it. 296 00:13:42,631 --> 00:13:44,966 We weren't driven crazy by Greendale. 297 00:13:45,008 --> 00:13:48,386 And Abed's not the crazy one for obsessing about it. 298 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,972 Abed, we're sorry. We haven't been supporting you, 299 00:13:51,014 --> 00:13:53,016 and we haven't been honest with ourselves. 300 00:13:53,057 --> 00:13:55,644 Dr. Heidi, something weird is going on with that school. 301 00:13:55,684 --> 00:13:57,312 Abed doesn't need to be here. 302 00:13:57,354 --> 00:13:59,105 We need to be there. 303 00:14:00,315 --> 00:14:02,150 But there is no there. 304 00:14:02,192 --> 00:14:04,361 That's the problem. That's why we have to go back. 305 00:14:04,402 --> 00:14:06,613 No, you can't go back to Greendale. 306 00:14:06,655 --> 00:14:08,365 Why? Because it isn't healthy? 307 00:14:08,406 --> 00:14:09,491 'Cause it doesn't exist. 308 00:14:13,244 --> 00:14:14,912 I parked by a meter. 309 00:14:14,954 --> 00:14:16,747 Any of y'all park by a meter? 310 00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:18,833 Wait, what? 311 00:14:24,214 --> 00:14:25,923 What do you mean, Greendale doesn't exist? 312 00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,051 Well, there is a place called Greendale, 313 00:14:28,092 --> 00:14:30,803 and you all spent three years there, 314 00:14:30,845 --> 00:14:33,723 but it was not a community college. 315 00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:41,731 These memories that you people have been sharing 316 00:14:41,772 --> 00:14:43,733 are a shared psychosis. 317 00:14:44,984 --> 00:14:46,361 You were patients there together, 318 00:14:46,403 --> 00:14:48,488 you were released together, and I am alarmed to see 319 00:14:48,530 --> 00:14:51,866 that you are now relapsing together. 320 00:14:51,908 --> 00:14:53,577 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 321 00:14:53,618 --> 00:14:56,663 This is not real. You're lying. 322 00:14:56,705 --> 00:14:59,957 Search your mind for the real memories. 323 00:14:59,999 --> 00:15:02,210 Try to look past the trauma you've been blocking out. 324 00:15:02,252 --> 00:15:03,670 What trauma? 325 00:15:03,712 --> 00:15:06,590 You all came to this community college 326 00:15:06,631 --> 00:15:08,341 after your lives had fractured. 327 00:15:08,383 --> 00:15:10,843 Pill addiction, failed legal career, 328 00:15:10,885 --> 00:15:14,764 broken marriage, lost scholarship, old… 329 00:15:14,805 --> 00:15:17,100 Enough! I don't want to hear mine. 330 00:15:17,141 --> 00:15:19,436 And if we were going to fabricate a delusion, 331 00:15:19,477 --> 00:15:22,105 why would we fabricate a community college? 332 00:15:22,146 --> 00:15:26,234 Ah, yes, this fantastical community college 333 00:15:26,276 --> 00:15:29,237 where everything that happens is unbelievably ridiculous 334 00:15:29,279 --> 00:15:32,282 and it all revolves around you as a group. 335 00:15:32,323 --> 00:15:35,577 The same reason anyone plunges into psychosis, Miss Perry. 336 00:15:35,619 --> 00:15:39,372 It was a mentally-compatible alternative to your grim reality. 337 00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,297 Can you believe the secret trampoline we found? 338 00:15:47,338 --> 00:15:49,799 I know. It's so great. 339 00:15:57,932 --> 00:15:59,309 For Greendale! 340 00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:01,436 Charge! 341 00:16:01,478 --> 00:16:02,604 Come on, Leonard. 342 00:16:02,646 --> 00:16:04,314 Yow! Ooh! 343 00:16:15,784 --> 00:16:16,951 Let's do a clip show. Bottle episode. 344 00:16:16,993 --> 00:16:18,620 Don't forget the clip show. Harrison Ford. 345 00:16:18,662 --> 00:16:20,204 Remember when we went camping? Yes. 346 00:16:20,246 --> 00:16:22,332 Remember when we painted the nursery? Yes. 347 00:16:22,373 --> 00:16:23,792 Remember when we remembered going camping while we were in the nursery? 348 00:16:27,128 --> 00:16:29,673 I'm a millionaire, I'm an inventor, 349 00:16:29,714 --> 00:16:32,717 I'm a legend, and I had sex with Eartha Kitt. 350 00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:34,051 It's sad. 351 00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:35,428 Should we increase their lithium? 352 00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:37,263 Not yet. 353 00:16:37,305 --> 00:16:40,308 I want to see what happens if we confiscate one of their pens. 354 00:16:46,105 --> 00:16:49,150 It's not possible. 355 00:16:49,192 --> 00:16:53,988 Mmm. You say you started as a Spanish study group. 356 00:16:54,030 --> 00:16:55,573 Do any of you speak Spanish? 357 00:16:57,826 --> 00:16:59,786 And you've attended Greendale for three years, 358 00:16:59,828 --> 00:17:02,622 but don't community colleges end after two? 359 00:17:02,664 --> 00:17:04,415 Everyone's always saying that. 360 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:06,959 The average community college student attends school 361 00:17:07,001 --> 00:17:08,085 five to seven years. 362 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,546 Many offer four-year degrees. 363 00:17:09,587 --> 00:17:12,923 In your mind, they do. In your mind. 364 00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:15,593 And you shared this delusion with each other, 365 00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:18,388 like that time all those people got into swing dance music 366 00:17:18,429 --> 00:17:19,639 back in the '90s. 367 00:17:19,681 --> 00:17:21,098 And then you were released, 368 00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:23,226 probably because your insurance ran out. 369 00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:27,731 But the official story is that you're now fit to live within society again. 370 00:17:27,772 --> 00:17:30,859 You just have to accept the truth. 371 00:17:41,703 --> 00:17:42,953 Wait. 372 00:17:43,621 --> 00:17:45,456 Give me a break. 373 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:47,124 That made no sense. 374 00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:48,543 Yeah, it's me. 375 00:17:48,585 --> 00:17:49,960 No, I think they bought it. 376 00:17:50,002 --> 00:17:51,379 I had to do a little riffing at the end, 377 00:17:51,421 --> 00:17:54,549 but I was pretty convincing. 378 00:17:54,591 --> 00:17:57,009 Well, if it looks like I'm sneaking out the window, 379 00:17:57,051 --> 00:17:59,387 it's just a symptom of your deepening psychosis. 380 00:17:59,429 --> 00:18:02,056 Don't hurt me. Greendale doesn't exist? 381 00:18:02,098 --> 00:18:03,266 How long did you think we'd buy that? 382 00:18:03,307 --> 00:18:05,602 I'm literally carrying a Greendale backpack. 383 00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:07,395 I have, like, 1,000 pictures of the campus on my phone. 384 00:18:07,437 --> 00:18:08,855 I have children I see every day. 385 00:18:08,897 --> 00:18:10,022 I have definitely not been locked up. 386 00:18:10,607 --> 00:18:12,567 Get him. 387 00:18:12,609 --> 00:18:14,985 Why would you lie to make us think we were crazy? 388 00:18:15,027 --> 00:18:16,613 Because, Ms. Edison, 389 00:18:16,654 --> 00:18:19,031 Greendale is purgatory, 390 00:18:19,073 --> 00:18:20,241 and I am the devil. 391 00:18:20,283 --> 00:18:22,660 What? I knew it. 392 00:18:22,702 --> 00:18:24,954 Stop letting him make you realize stuff. 393 00:18:25,789 --> 00:18:27,164 These aren't even good lies. 394 00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,625 All right, fine, I had to come up with something. 395 00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:29,667 You were getting too close. 396 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,669 Close to what? To the truth. 397 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:32,712 The Indian kid was right. 398 00:18:32,754 --> 00:18:34,338 He's Arabic. Also Polish. 399 00:18:34,380 --> 00:18:37,174 Whatever. I'm a fake psychiatrist, not a fake ethnologist. 400 00:18:37,216 --> 00:18:39,677 The point is your dean was kidnapped by Ben Chang 401 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:41,220 and replaced with a double. 402 00:18:41,262 --> 00:18:42,639 I was hired to keep you off the scent. 403 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,098 Chang kidnapped the dean? 404 00:18:44,140 --> 00:18:45,558 Even for him, that's insane. 405 00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:47,143 Is it? Think about it. 406 00:18:54,776 --> 00:18:57,069 Whoo! I said hot damn! 407 00:18:59,029 --> 00:19:00,531 Chang? 408 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:01,866 What are you doing? 409 00:19:01,908 --> 00:19:03,117 I'm predicting future crimes. 410 00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:05,787 Now I'm sick. 411 00:19:05,829 --> 00:19:07,747 See, you said that would happen. 412 00:19:07,789 --> 00:19:09,457 You are a pre-cog! 413 00:19:19,300 --> 00:19:20,510 Again. 414 00:19:25,014 --> 00:19:26,015 You're weak. 415 00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:29,853 Uh, guys, 416 00:19:29,894 --> 00:19:31,145 while we were remembering Chang is crazy, 417 00:19:31,187 --> 00:19:32,438 the fake doctor sneaked away. 418 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,940 Oh, crap! What? 419 00:19:33,982 --> 00:19:35,733 There goes our only chance of clearing our names. 420 00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:36,985 You guys, forget about us. 421 00:19:37,026 --> 00:19:38,653 The dean has been kidnapped. 422 00:19:38,695 --> 00:19:41,823 He's out there somewhere, alone and cold 423 00:19:41,865 --> 00:19:43,407 and most likely trying to cobble together 424 00:19:43,449 --> 00:19:44,868 a sexy Patty Hearst costume. 425 00:19:44,909 --> 00:19:47,286 Britta's right. Wait, what? 426 00:19:47,328 --> 00:19:48,663 We need to rescue the dean. 427 00:19:48,705 --> 00:19:50,247 We need to get back to that school. 428 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,666 And we definitely never need to do another paintball. 429 00:19:51,708 --> 00:19:53,626 Yeah. See, therapy does work. 430 00:19:53,668 --> 00:19:55,336 We're cured. Aw. Aw. 431 00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,009 Sounds like the study group has gotten wise 432 00:20:01,050 --> 00:20:02,552 to Operation Doppel-deaner. 433 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,513 It's time for Phase Two. 434 00:20:05,555 --> 00:20:06,681 What's Phase Two? 435 00:20:06,723 --> 00:20:08,098 Hey, I'm making up the same plan you are. 436 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:10,393 Pitches, pitches, pitches. 437 00:20:10,434 --> 00:20:11,602 Ah, thank you, Megan. 438 00:20:17,483 --> 00:20:18,985 Nights. 439 00:20:19,027 --> 00:20:20,486 Welcome back, all you night owls. 440 00:20:20,528 --> 00:20:21,946 Troy, why don't we open up the phone lines? 441 00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:23,197 Talk to us, lonely hearts. 442 00:20:23,239 --> 00:20:24,699 We got Jeff W. calling. 443 00:20:24,741 --> 00:20:25,992 Hello? 444 00:20:26,034 --> 00:20:27,535 Hey, Jeff, what's your question? 445 00:20:27,577 --> 00:20:28,786 Who is this? 446 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,287 Great question. We're us. 447 00:20:30,329 --> 00:20:32,248 You guys, it's 3:00 in the morning. 448 00:20:32,289 --> 00:20:34,291 I'm trying to sleep. 449 00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,293 I'm sorry to hear that, Jeff. 450 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:37,461 Why don't you stay on the line and we'll get your information. 451 00:20:37,503 --> 00:20:38,838 Yeah, we'll get you the help you need. 452 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,423 Our next caller's Annie E. 453 00:20:40,464 --> 00:20:41,674 What's on your mind tonight, Annie? 454 00:20:41,716 --> 00:20:43,051 Hey, guys, long time, 455 00:20:43,092 --> 00:20:44,635 first time, love the show. 456 00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:46,554 Aw, appreciate ya. How can we help? 457 00:20:48,305 --> 00:20:50,307 You can shut up and go to sleep. 458 00:20:53,102 --> 00:20:55,271 Well, Jacks and Jills, that's about all the time we have tonight. 459 00:20:55,312 --> 00:20:57,523 Yeah, until next time, may your dreams be sweet 460 00:20:57,565 --> 00:20:59,609 and your nightmares be "spooky monster" scary 461 00:20:59,650 --> 00:21:01,277 and not "grandma died" scary. 462 00:21:03,780 --> 00:21:05,406 Nights.