1
00:00:05,771 --> 00:00:08,065
How are we gonna memorize this?
We are screwed.

2
00:00:08,065 --> 00:00:11,402
Let's just go over it again.
Kingdom, phylum, class.

3
00:00:11,402 --> 00:00:13,612
Order, family,
genus, species.

4
00:00:14,905 --> 00:00:16,990
I use a mnemonic device.

5
00:00:16,990 --> 00:00:19,076
"Kevin, please come over
for gay sex."

6
00:00:21,537 --> 00:00:24,832
Why wouldn't you use "Karen"?
Because it's gay sex, dummy.

7
00:00:24,832 --> 00:00:27,626
Now I can't remember anything.
So use "great."

8
00:00:27,626 --> 00:00:31,046
For all the time we spend here
Thanks.

9
00:00:31,046 --> 00:00:33,257
you'd think we wouldn't have
to cram so much.

10
00:00:33,257 --> 00:00:35,593
because we have so much fun.
We never get work done

11
00:00:35,593 --> 00:00:38,387
maybe that's why.
Definitely,

12
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:44,476
Ahh. The duali-dean of man.
Heh-heh.

13
00:00:44,476 --> 00:00:47,979
I have good news and bad news.
I'm dressed this way because

14
00:00:47,979 --> 00:00:49,939
You have got to be kidding me.

15
00:00:49,939 --> 00:00:52,860
Professor Kane has the flu.
The bad news is

16
00:00:52,860 --> 00:00:55,446
biology class is canceled.
The good news is

17
00:00:57,239 --> 00:01:01,159
What a gentleman!
After you.

18
00:01:01,159 --> 00:01:03,954
to cram last-minute anymore.
Guys, we don't have

19
00:01:03,954 --> 00:01:05,790
Last-minute got moved
to tomorrow.

20
00:01:05,790 --> 00:01:07,833
Three-hour lunch?
Three-hour lunch?

21
00:01:07,833 --> 00:01:10,836
the first half of three movies.
Three hours? I could watch

22
00:01:10,836 --> 00:01:13,171
to the fast food restaurant.
I don't have to go

23
00:01:13,171 --> 00:01:15,841
I can go to the fancy one
across town.

24
00:01:15,841 --> 00:01:19,344
We can make-believe Inspector
Spacetime in the Dreamatorium.

25
00:01:19,344 --> 00:01:21,931
Word.
Yeah.

26
00:01:21,931 --> 00:01:24,057
Maybe we should go
to Señor Kevin's.

27
00:01:24,057 --> 00:01:26,059
new cage-free bean burrito?
Didn't you wanna try that

28
00:01:26,059 --> 00:01:28,562
with micro-financed flour.
The tortillas are made

29
00:01:28,562 --> 00:01:30,272
Troy, you could drive.

30
00:01:30,272 --> 00:01:31,981
You always like that
spiral parking ramp.

31
00:01:31,981 --> 00:01:33,776
You keep turning left,
you end up up.

32
00:01:33,776 --> 00:01:35,820
The manager and I are enemies.
I can't go.

33
00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:38,029
He said Die Hard was bad.

34
00:01:38,029 --> 00:01:40,157
Well, how about this?
I know, buddy.

35
00:01:40,157 --> 00:01:43,744
This lunch is already a runaway
train, no point in stopping it.

36
00:01:43,744 --> 00:01:45,913
Troy, Britta,
you go to Señor Kevin's.

37
00:01:45,913 --> 00:01:49,124
how the Dreamatorium works.
Abed promised he'd show me

38
00:01:49,124 --> 00:01:50,960
But I want to…
Abed, don't you think

39
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:52,837
today's the perfect day?
No.

40
00:01:52,837 --> 00:01:55,297
Is this a social cue?
Abed!

41
00:01:55,297 --> 00:01:59,009
I left my "Putting on the Ritz"
cane in here earlier.

42
00:02:00,302 --> 00:02:02,346
has another name, but…
I know it probably

43
00:02:02,346 --> 00:02:05,098
honest with you guys?
Can I be perfectly

44
00:02:05,098 --> 00:02:07,351
I think I went too far
with this one.

45
00:02:07,351 --> 00:02:11,062
I have to go to the bank today.

46
00:02:11,062 --> 00:02:13,273
What am I supposed to
tell people in line?

47
00:02:13,273 --> 00:02:16,610
I had good news and bad news?

48
00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:20,322
Get your life together.
Come on, Craig.

49
00:02:28,288 --> 00:02:31,458
To run out of steam ♪
d Give me the hope

50
00:02:31,458 --> 00:02:35,045
It can be here ♪
d Somebody said

51
00:02:35,045 --> 00:02:38,883
Tied up dead in a year ♪
d We could be roped up

52
00:02:53,104 --> 00:02:55,106
I am Inspector Spacetime.

53
00:02:55,106 --> 00:02:57,317
And I know that which
is unknown.

54
00:02:57,317 --> 00:02:58,777
Duty-bound to protect

55
00:02:58,777 --> 00:03:00,905
a universe of innocent
unremarkables,

56
00:03:00,905 --> 00:03:03,365
in the X7 Dimensionizer
I patrol it

57
00:03:03,365 --> 00:03:05,784
with my loyal constable,
Reggie.

58
00:03:05,784 --> 00:03:08,996
This week, however, Reggie has
been forced to go to lunch.

59
00:03:08,996 --> 00:03:12,457
So I'm aboard the much crappier
HMS Spacetime 12,

60
00:03:12,457 --> 00:03:13,876
from the worst season ever,

61
00:03:13,876 --> 00:03:17,004
with temporary constable,
Geneva.

62
00:03:17,004 --> 00:03:20,007
Geneva, I need the quantum
spanner, the big one.

63
00:03:20,007 --> 00:03:22,676
Oi, guv'nor, quantum spammer,

64
00:03:22,676 --> 00:03:24,093
up and at them, isn't it?

65
00:03:26,304 --> 00:03:28,057
get out of orbital lock,
If we can't

66
00:03:28,057 --> 00:03:31,018
Tut, tut, milord.
the Blorgons may intercept.

67
00:03:31,018 --> 00:03:33,687
Wouldn't give a tuppence
for that sticky wicket.

68
00:03:34,980 --> 00:03:36,774
Okay, stop simulation.

69
00:03:36,774 --> 00:03:39,610
More British?
I can't do this anymore.

70
00:03:39,610 --> 00:03:41,737
But the Blogons might
intercept…

71
00:03:41,737 --> 00:03:44,615
"Blogon" means "thank you."
It's "Blorgons" with an R.

72
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:46,533
Can't we play something
I know about,

73
00:03:46,533 --> 00:03:48,326
like hospital administration?

74
00:03:50,913 --> 00:03:54,332
matchmaker with Troy and Britta.
You're mad at me for playing

75
00:03:54,332 --> 00:03:56,126
You think you're
gonna lose Troy.

76
00:03:56,126 --> 00:03:57,711
I'm not petty.
I'm mad at you

77
00:03:57,711 --> 00:03:59,671
with the fabric of the group.
because you tampered

78
00:03:59,671 --> 00:04:02,507
How do you know their pairing up
wouldn't destroy everything?

79
00:04:02,507 --> 00:04:04,342
I examine this stuff
from every angle.

80
00:04:04,342 --> 00:04:06,511
Oh, and you can do that,
but I can't?

81
00:04:06,511 --> 00:04:08,973
You don't have a patent
on being a control freak.

82
00:04:08,973 --> 00:04:11,016
You think this is a room
I kind of do.

83
00:04:11,016 --> 00:04:13,435
where Troy and I play dinosaurs
versus riverboat gamblers?

84
00:04:13,435 --> 00:04:15,604
construction approved,
Sure, it's how I got

85
00:04:15,604 --> 00:04:18,649
has higher functions.
but the Dreamatorium

86
00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:19,942
Would you like me to show you

87
00:04:19,942 --> 00:04:21,526
how Troy and Britta
will play out?

88
00:04:21,526 --> 00:04:24,113
Execute simulation:
Why not?

89
00:04:24,113 --> 00:04:27,532
Señor Kevin's.
Troy-slash-Britta. Render

90
00:04:29,367 --> 00:04:31,662
Ooh! Those appetizers
were dope and legit.

91
00:04:32,746 --> 00:04:34,164
usually support lunch
I don't

92
00:04:34,164 --> 00:04:35,874
because it's unfair
to breakfast.

93
00:04:37,208 --> 00:04:39,586
I never thought about meals
fighting each other.

94
00:04:41,171 --> 00:04:42,840
explains why you never
I guess that

95
00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:44,842
see any two of them
on the same table.

96
00:04:44,842 --> 00:04:47,011
So Annie's pretty
hot to get us together.

97
00:04:47,011 --> 00:04:50,014
She probably just doesn't
understand people.

98
00:04:50,014 --> 00:04:53,558
Well, the sooner the food comes,
the sooner this will be over.

99
00:04:53,558 --> 00:04:57,104
I'm afraid your food won't be
ready for another half-hour.

100
00:04:57,104 --> 00:05:00,858
I'm too busy misunderstanding
the whole point of Die Hard.

101
00:05:02,109 --> 00:05:03,986
to get home to Abed.
I can't wait

102
00:05:03,986 --> 00:05:06,237
dart back and forth
So you can

103
00:05:06,237 --> 00:05:07,823
doing impressions
of your friends.

104
00:05:07,823 --> 00:05:10,367
There's no science
at work here.

105
00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:14,204
The science is at work in here.
You're right.

106
00:05:18,291 --> 00:05:20,251
the Dreamatorium's engine.
This is

107
00:05:20,251 --> 00:05:22,212
My thoughts are collected
by this box.

108
00:05:22,212 --> 00:05:24,548
about my friends is here.
Everything I know

109
00:05:24,548 --> 00:05:26,675
Both are distilled by logic
and recombined

110
00:05:26,675 --> 00:05:28,010
into objective observation.

111
00:05:28,010 --> 00:05:30,554
any of the study group
I'm able to simulate

112
00:05:30,554 --> 00:05:33,182
unique situations.
in over 7000

113
00:05:33,182 --> 00:05:36,143
Abed, it's cardboard tubes
and a funnel.

114
00:05:36,143 --> 00:05:39,021
It's calibrated to a specific
level of brain function.

115
00:05:39,021 --> 00:05:41,148
Right. I'm stupid.

116
00:05:41,148 --> 00:05:43,483
Not stupid, just less able
to see what I see.

117
00:05:43,483 --> 00:05:46,987
Gee, you've got it
all figured out.

118
00:05:48,947 --> 00:05:51,408
King of toilet paper rolls
over here.

119
00:05:53,202 --> 00:05:56,621
Hey, Troy, I'm glad you called.
Your lunch is going well, right?

120
00:05:56,621 --> 00:06:00,249
Yeah, just checking in on Abed.
Making sure he's okay.

121
00:06:00,249 --> 00:06:02,251
What? He's fine.

122
00:06:02,251 --> 00:06:05,380
a lower level of brain function,
He just implied I operate on

123
00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,298
so business as usual.

124
00:06:07,298 --> 00:06:10,761
make sure he stays comfortable.
Great, um, just, you know,

125
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,429
when I'm not around.
I worry about him

126
00:06:12,429 --> 00:06:16,516
he always will be.
Well, he's fine,

127
00:06:16,516 --> 00:06:18,476
People bend over backwards
to cater to him.

128
00:06:18,476 --> 00:06:21,105
He's just extra sensitive
in the Dreamatorium.

129
00:06:21,105 --> 00:06:23,314
It takes a lot out of him
to run that thing.

130
00:06:23,314 --> 00:06:24,816
to break his brain.
I don't want you

131
00:06:24,816 --> 00:06:26,068
Bye, Troy.

132
00:06:27,152 --> 00:06:29,154
How is he?
He'll be okay.

133
00:06:29,154 --> 00:06:31,448
how much you care about him.
It's so sweet

134
00:06:31,448 --> 00:06:33,658
I hate about Die Hard:
And another thing

135
00:06:33,658 --> 00:06:36,411
Two FBI agents named Johnson?

136
00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:41,458
I've been thinking about our
Inspector Spacetime scenario.

137
00:06:41,458 --> 00:06:43,627
It might work better
if instead of playing Geneva,

138
00:06:43,627 --> 00:06:46,046
you played Rosamund. She was
a constable in season five

139
00:06:46,046 --> 00:06:48,006
and she only had three lines.

140
00:06:48,006 --> 00:06:49,549
I have a better idea.

141
00:06:49,549 --> 00:06:52,136
your scenarios more realistic?
Know what would make

142
00:06:52,136 --> 00:06:53,637
If Troy weren't on a date.

143
00:06:53,637 --> 00:06:55,806
your thoughts and logic
Why don't you take

144
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:58,391
and add one step to the process.
What are you doing?

145
00:06:58,391 --> 00:07:01,228
From now on, before you
do or say anything,

146
00:07:01,228 --> 00:07:02,562
you're gonna think about

147
00:07:02,562 --> 00:07:04,231
the people around you.
how it affects

148
00:07:04,231 --> 00:07:06,775
We lower functioning brains
call this empathy.

149
00:07:10,654 --> 00:07:13,282
Abed?

150
00:07:14,283 --> 00:07:15,700
Abed?

151
00:07:17,368 --> 00:07:19,370
Oh, my God, I broke Abed.

152
00:07:22,582 --> 00:07:25,710
how you wanted me to tell you
Abed? You know

153
00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:28,463
when you were being scary weird
instead of cute weird?

154
00:07:28,463 --> 00:07:29,756
This is scary weird.

155
00:07:33,635 --> 00:07:34,886
Hello, Annie.

156
00:07:37,097 --> 00:07:40,725
What was I doing on the floor?
Were we doing it?

157
00:07:40,725 --> 00:07:42,894
Are you being Jeff?

158
00:07:42,894 --> 00:07:46,190
being a Kardashian.
Well, I'm not

159
00:07:46,190 --> 00:07:48,566
So where are we now?
We're in the doctor's lounge

160
00:07:48,566 --> 00:07:51,569
Hospital School?
of Greendale Hospital School.

161
00:07:51,569 --> 00:07:54,405
It's a sexy, emotional school
where doctors save lives

162
00:07:54,405 --> 00:07:56,241
often simultaneously.
and make love,

163
00:07:56,241 --> 00:07:58,702
ripped from the headlines.
Our stories,

164
00:07:58,702 --> 00:08:00,453
Our passions, unbridled.

165
00:08:00,453 --> 00:08:03,165
Our cafeteria. Eh.

166
00:08:03,165 --> 00:08:06,043
I know I'm just a surgeon
Make love to me, Ann.

167
00:08:06,043 --> 00:08:08,086
upstart administrator,
and you're a hotshot,

168
00:08:08,086 --> 00:08:09,796
but damn the rules,
damn the system,

169
00:08:09,796 --> 00:08:11,631
damn our two-foot height
disparity.

170
00:08:11,631 --> 00:08:14,218
Okay, Abed, I get it.
I want you.

171
00:08:14,218 --> 00:08:17,428
We have different sensibilities.
Later.

172
00:08:20,515 --> 00:08:24,269
Bye. I'm leaving.

173
00:08:33,153 --> 00:08:35,697
Okay, Dr. Jeff,

174
00:08:35,697 --> 00:08:38,283
can you please tell me
where I can find Abed?

175
00:08:38,283 --> 00:08:41,995
I owe him an apology.
Abed? Never heard of him.

176
00:08:41,995 --> 00:08:43,538
Terrific.

177
00:08:46,499 --> 00:08:49,460
I asked you a question, doctor.
I'm a surgeon.

178
00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:50,921
And I'm your administrator.

179
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,923
I left my wife for you
when she was pregnant.

180
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:55,133
Who do you think
inseminated her?

181
00:08:55,133 --> 00:08:57,761
Tell me what I want to know
or, God is my witness,

182
00:08:57,761 --> 00:09:00,305
I'll have your stethoscope.
Fine.

183
00:09:00,305 --> 00:09:03,016
Dr. Perry might know.

184
00:09:03,016 --> 00:09:05,394
Render environment: Bio Lab.

185
00:09:07,478 --> 00:09:10,481
fooling around with each other.
Look, there's Britta and Troy

186
00:09:10,481 --> 00:09:13,526
Look, there's Abed having
overcome his issues.

187
00:09:13,526 --> 00:09:14,986
Nice try.

188
00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:18,240
Dr. Barnes, Dr. Perry.

189
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:21,326
We just saved an uninsured
homeless man's life.

190
00:09:21,326 --> 00:09:26,123
Using an unapproved procedure.
Now we're going to kiss.

191
00:09:27,207 --> 00:09:30,335
INCOHERENT NOISES]
[BOTH MAKING

192
00:09:32,421 --> 00:09:36,633
What do you want, administrator?
This is what you think I want?

193
00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:38,093
I want to talk to Abed.

194
00:09:38,093 --> 00:09:39,469
There's no one here
by that name.

195
00:09:39,469 --> 00:09:41,679
Maybe I am, so what?
You're lying.

196
00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,598
I was raised on the mean streets
of Harlem.

197
00:09:43,598 --> 00:09:45,016
I'm not scared of you.

198
00:09:45,016 --> 00:09:46,810
Well, be scared of this.

199
00:09:50,314 --> 00:09:53,942
known commonly as truth serum.
Sodium pentothal,

200
00:09:56,194 --> 00:09:59,781
in the hospital school files,
I saw Abed's name

201
00:09:59,781 --> 00:10:02,033
I love butt stuff,
I hate spiders,

202
00:10:02,033 --> 00:10:03,493
I stole a pen from the bank,

203
00:10:03,493 --> 00:10:06,788
I cried during About a Boy.
The soundtrack.

204
00:10:06,788 --> 00:10:09,458
I don't wash my hands
before surgery.

205
00:10:09,458 --> 00:10:11,709
I see why women find Clive Owen
attractive to the point

206
00:10:11,709 --> 00:10:14,004
where I might as well be
attracted to him.

207
00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:17,007
to win arguments on the Internet
I use comparisons to Hitler

208
00:10:17,007 --> 00:10:19,801
I know nothing about wine.
at the drop of a hat.

209
00:10:19,801 --> 00:10:22,304
I'm more turned on by women
in pajamas than lingerie.

210
00:10:22,304 --> 00:10:24,973
they feel comfortable.
I just wanna know

211
00:10:24,973 --> 00:10:28,018
I didn't get Inception.

212
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:31,355
I didn't get Inception.

213
00:10:33,773 --> 00:10:37,110
You saw his name in the files.
There's so many layers.

214
00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:40,697
Right. Render environment:
medical study room.

215
00:10:40,697 --> 00:10:42,157
There's head nurse, Shirley,

216
00:10:42,157 --> 00:10:44,659
talking to heart-wrenching
Alzheimer's patient

217
00:10:44,659 --> 00:10:46,828
and Emmy contender
Pierce Hawthorne.

218
00:10:46,828 --> 00:10:50,623
you're out of your bed again.
Mr. Hawthorne,

219
00:10:50,623 --> 00:10:54,044
Because I think I'm on a train.
Ohh! Oh.

220
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:56,254
the file on Abed.
Shirley, get me

221
00:10:56,254 --> 00:10:59,216
Abed doesn't exist, young lady.
He exists if I say so.

222
00:10:59,216 --> 00:11:01,885
Your hospital school
This is my hospital school.

223
00:11:01,885 --> 00:11:03,220
is a simulation being run

224
00:11:03,220 --> 00:11:05,013
through a filter
of other people's needs.

225
00:11:05,013 --> 00:11:08,225
Abed's been filtered out
because nobody needs him.

226
00:11:08,225 --> 00:11:10,727
Well, you're not simulated.
I need him.

227
00:11:10,727 --> 00:11:14,147
Oh!
No, but this is.

228
00:11:14,147 --> 00:11:15,940
where that didn't come from.
And there's more

229
00:11:15,940 --> 00:11:19,027
Jeff, get the files.
This is a private compartment.

230
00:11:19,027 --> 00:11:21,530
You can see the cabinets.
Why me?

231
00:11:22,739 --> 00:11:25,325
And I'll make love to you.
Jackpot.

232
00:11:28,953 --> 00:11:31,748
There is an Abed in this
hospital school,

233
00:11:31,748 --> 00:11:33,375
but he's not a doctor.

234
00:11:34,667 --> 00:11:37,337
He's a patient.
Notify security.

235
00:11:37,337 --> 00:11:39,588
Jeff, take me to Abed.
Conductor.

236
00:11:39,588 --> 00:11:41,550
Enough games.
And where is that?

237
00:11:41,550 --> 00:11:44,677
Just take me where I wanna go.
Follow me.

238
00:11:46,430 --> 00:11:48,390
Are we close?
Almost there.

239
00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:49,974
You should probably
run in place

240
00:11:49,974 --> 00:11:51,809
and let the hallway
move around you.

241
00:11:58,525 --> 00:12:00,444
Where?
Here we are.

242
00:12:00,444 --> 00:12:03,863
Where you wanted to go. The last
night of school, first year.

243
00:12:05,449 --> 00:12:07,242
The night we kissed.

244
00:12:07,242 --> 00:12:10,661
so whose memory is this?
Abed wasn't there,

245
00:12:10,661 --> 00:12:14,165
the Dreamatorium really works.
Maybe it's yours. Maybe

246
00:12:14,165 --> 00:12:16,585
watching from the bushes
Or maybe Leonard was

247
00:12:16,585 --> 00:12:18,295
and told Abed about it.

248
00:12:18,295 --> 00:12:20,755
I don't have cable.

249
00:12:20,755 --> 00:12:23,341
Knock it off, Abed.
I'm not Abed.

250
00:12:23,341 --> 00:12:26,303
You're confused, so was I.

251
00:12:26,303 --> 00:12:27,678
But not anymore.

252
00:12:27,678 --> 00:12:31,516
I don't wanna do this.
Jeff, Abed, stop.

253
00:12:31,516 --> 00:12:33,226
I wanna talk to Abed.

254
00:12:35,562 --> 00:12:37,606
I'm taking the file.

255
00:12:39,190 --> 00:12:42,569
Oh, it says Abed
is in the recovery parlor.

256
00:12:42,569 --> 00:12:45,238
never better.

257
00:12:45,238 --> 00:12:48,617
You're not holding anything.

258
00:12:48,617 --> 00:12:51,035
This is the file.

259
00:12:51,035 --> 00:12:54,663
psychiatric patient 1373,
Abed Nadir,

260
00:12:54,663 --> 00:12:56,874
with no empathy.
control freak

261
00:12:56,874 --> 00:13:00,337
People bend over backwards
to cater to him.

262
00:13:00,337 --> 00:13:03,756
Signed, healthcare administrator
Annie Edison.

263
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:08,386
That's out of context.
Shh, shh, shh.

264
00:13:08,386 --> 00:13:10,388
You've thought of everything,
Annie.

265
00:13:10,388 --> 00:13:12,765
and Troy and Britta together,
With Abed gone

266
00:13:12,765 --> 00:13:15,101
there's nothing standing
in the way of us.

267
00:13:15,101 --> 00:13:18,480
Wait, what?
Come on. This is your dream.

268
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,483
This is why you played
matchmaker.

269
00:13:21,483 --> 00:13:24,152
what's important to you.
This is

270
00:13:24,152 --> 00:13:26,613
You are not Jeff.

271
00:13:26,613 --> 00:13:29,032
Because Jeff cares about Abed.

272
00:13:29,032 --> 00:13:31,242
Troy and Britta together
And I did not push

273
00:13:31,242 --> 00:13:32,494
so this would happen.

274
00:13:32,494 --> 00:13:34,120
were cute together
I thought they

275
00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:36,206
and this would've
been a bonus.

276
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:37,915
And we are not here.

277
00:13:37,915 --> 00:13:41,461
because I hate whoever you are.
And I'm not staying here

278
00:13:41,461 --> 00:13:43,547
You should probably
storm off in…

279
00:13:43,547 --> 00:13:47,133
In place.
Aah!

280
00:13:55,766 --> 00:13:57,686
Where do you wanna go next?

281
00:13:57,686 --> 00:14:00,813
Sounds good to me.
I wanna be alone.

282
00:14:00,813 --> 00:14:03,274
Execute simulation:
Annie-slash-Annie.

283
00:14:07,195 --> 00:14:09,614
There. Now we're alone.

284
00:14:09,614 --> 00:14:12,158
Great, so you're me now.

285
00:14:12,158 --> 00:14:14,494
our magic moment with Jeff?
Why are you blowing

286
00:14:14,494 --> 00:14:16,787
It's not even real.
It's not magic.

287
00:14:16,787 --> 00:14:22,001
But we love Jeff.
No, we don't.

288
00:14:22,001 --> 00:14:25,171
with the idea of being loved.
We're just in love

289
00:14:25,171 --> 00:14:27,424
And if we can teach a guy
like Jeff to do it,

290
00:14:27,424 --> 00:14:29,175
we'll never be unloved.

291
00:14:29,175 --> 00:14:31,678
the same scenario over and over,
So we keep running

292
00:14:31,678 --> 00:14:34,847
Running scenarios?
hoping for a different result.

293
00:14:34,847 --> 00:14:37,892
Careful, now. You're starting
to sound like Abed.

294
00:14:39,477 --> 00:14:42,397
So I probably shouldn't
say things like:

295
00:14:42,397 --> 00:14:45,858
Cougar Town, cool, cool, co
"Star Wars. Zardoz,

296
00:14:45,858 --> 00:14:47,569
Stop it.
Pop culture.

297
00:14:47,569 --> 00:14:50,488
You're gonna get in trouble.
I'm on a TV show.

298
00:14:50,488 --> 00:14:53,366
It's Abed.
Meta, meta.

299
00:14:53,366 --> 00:14:56,244
I got an Abed here. Get him.

300
00:14:56,244 --> 00:15:00,039
That's it. I find you guilty of
being Abed. You're under arrest.

301
00:15:00,039 --> 00:15:02,833
I don't know what's going on?
Can I just interject and say

302
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:13,344
This time you'll never get out.

303
00:15:14,345 --> 00:15:16,806
Abed?

304
00:15:16,806 --> 00:15:19,100
Abed.

305
00:15:19,100 --> 00:15:21,018
I found you by turning into you.

306
00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:23,438
How cool is that?
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

307
00:15:23,438 --> 00:15:25,189
Tell me where we are
so I can pretend to see it.

308
00:15:25,189 --> 00:15:27,066
We're inside a locker.

309
00:15:27,066 --> 00:15:29,653
a lot of time in junior high.
It's where I spent

310
00:15:29,653 --> 00:15:31,571
You think this is
where we'd put you?

311
00:15:31,571 --> 00:15:33,990
You know that's absurd, right?
I'm not stupid.

312
00:15:33,990 --> 00:15:36,367
You can see I've increased
the square footage.

313
00:15:36,367 --> 00:15:38,077
It's a metaphorical locker.

314
00:15:38,077 --> 00:15:41,164
when everyone's fed up with us.
Where people like me get put

315
00:15:41,164 --> 00:15:43,625
Abed, so maudlin.

316
00:15:43,625 --> 00:15:45,627
If you start turning
into a vampire…

317
00:15:45,627 --> 00:15:47,462
I've run simulations.
I don't get married

318
00:15:47,462 --> 00:15:49,756
that helps people have sex.
or invent a website

319
00:15:49,756 --> 00:15:52,049
into Sundance or DancePants.
I don't make it

320
00:15:52,049 --> 00:15:53,677
Troy invents DancePants
in 2019.

321
00:15:53,677 --> 00:15:55,261
he needs to stumble onto it.
Don't tell,

322
00:15:55,261 --> 00:15:57,555
All right, listen.
The scenarios

323
00:15:57,555 --> 00:16:01,392
you run in here are like
great science fiction.

324
00:16:01,392 --> 00:16:05,313
and detailed and insightful,
They're impressive

325
00:16:05,313 --> 00:16:07,315
but they're not accurate
for crap.

326
00:16:07,315 --> 00:16:08,858
Science fiction
never has been.

327
00:16:08,858 --> 00:16:12,153
Look at 2001.
Did we have a space odyssey?

328
00:16:12,153 --> 00:16:14,405
No, we got snowboarding
in the Olympics,

329
00:16:14,405 --> 00:16:16,366
and we over-validated
Carson Daily.

330
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,535
Yeah, cry me a river.
That poor guy.

331
00:16:18,535 --> 00:16:22,121
are nothing more than anxieties.
My point is, your simulations

332
00:16:22,121 --> 00:16:25,208
You're afraid you don't fit in.
You're afraid you'll be alone.

333
00:16:25,208 --> 00:16:26,917
Great news, you share that

334
00:16:26,917 --> 00:16:29,962
so you'll never be alone,
with all of us,

335
00:16:29,962 --> 00:16:31,715
and you'll always fit in.

336
00:16:31,715 --> 00:16:34,467
And, yes, that's why I meddled
with Troy and Britta.

337
00:16:34,467 --> 00:16:36,052
You caught me.

338
00:16:36,052 --> 00:16:38,638
go according to some script.
I was trying to make life

339
00:16:38,638 --> 00:16:41,098
I can't. You can't.

340
00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:45,353
more comfortable winging it.
We both need to get

341
00:16:45,353 --> 00:16:46,771
At least it'll be less work.

342
00:16:46,771 --> 00:16:48,565
my Dreamatorium time
It would cut down

343
00:16:48,565 --> 00:16:50,692
I could take up yoga.
by 18 hours a week.

344
00:16:50,692 --> 00:16:52,485
You have the body type.

345
00:16:52,485 --> 00:16:55,154
Now, let's get you out of here.
I don't know how.

346
00:16:55,154 --> 00:16:56,781
These shackles don't have a key.

347
00:16:56,781 --> 00:17:00,451
a quantum spanner's for?
Isn't that what

348
00:17:00,451 --> 00:17:02,746
Technically, no.

349
00:17:02,746 --> 00:17:04,038
But that's fine.

350
00:17:10,253 --> 00:17:12,714
So should we get back to lunch?

351
00:17:12,714 --> 00:17:15,842
I guess so. More anticlimactic
than I would've simulated it,

352
00:17:15,842 --> 00:17:18,344
Anticlimactic?
but whatever.

353
00:17:18,344 --> 00:17:22,557
Observo-deck, HMS Spacetime 12.
Render environment:

354
00:17:24,934 --> 00:17:28,187
Inspector, set the tachyon drive
to hyper-jump.

355
00:17:28,187 --> 00:17:30,189
the other side of this field
We must get to

356
00:17:30,189 --> 00:17:31,858
before the Blorgons intercept.

357
00:17:33,234 --> 00:17:35,236
Blorgons, in this sector?

358
00:17:35,236 --> 00:17:37,822
Well, this mission has gone
pear-shaped, indeed.

359
00:17:37,822 --> 00:17:39,699
Prepare to hyper-jump
on my mark.

360
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:42,786
Bugger the dove-coats,
Inspector.

361
00:17:42,786 --> 00:17:45,037
We're too late. Blorgons!

362
00:17:45,037 --> 00:17:47,791
Eradicate. Eradicate.

363
00:17:47,791 --> 00:17:50,334
useless against their armor.
Quantum blasters are

364
00:17:50,334 --> 00:17:52,587
as Lord Nelson's mutton.
We're as cooked

365
00:17:52,587 --> 00:17:54,297
Not if I can help it.

366
00:17:54,297 --> 00:17:58,092
I'll see you on the other side,
Inspector, wherever that is.

367
00:17:58,092 --> 00:18:01,345
"Whenever that is"?
Don't you mean

368
00:18:04,974 --> 00:18:07,435
Take that, Blorgon scum.

369
00:18:07,435 --> 00:18:09,854
You'll blogon me
for this later.

370
00:18:09,854 --> 00:18:11,981
Ow! Annie.

371
00:18:11,981 --> 00:18:15,401
Abed, I'm so sorry.
Oh! Oh, my God.

372
00:18:15,401 --> 00:18:18,362
No, no, you're committing.
This is good stuff.

373
00:18:18,362 --> 00:18:19,906
Thanks.

374
00:18:20,907 --> 00:18:22,826
I am Abed Nadir,

375
00:18:22,826 --> 00:18:25,119
things everyone else knows.
and I don't know a lot of

376
00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:27,413
I wander the universe
with my friend Troy,

377
00:18:27,413 --> 00:18:29,039
doing whatever I want,

378
00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:31,835
sometimes accidentally hurting
innocent unremarkables.

379
00:18:31,835 --> 00:18:35,546
This week, however, Troy went
to lunch and I adapted.

380
00:18:35,546 --> 00:18:38,549
to enter the minds of others…
I now have the ability

381
00:18:38,549 --> 00:18:40,802
I'm hungry, are you hungry?
Yeah.

382
00:18:40,802 --> 00:18:42,720
I'll make us buttered noodles.

383
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:47,308
technique known as empathy.
…using an elusive new

384
00:18:47,308 --> 00:18:49,686
So was the other
fast food place worth the drive?

385
00:18:49,686 --> 00:18:51,813
Halfway there, I thought,
what am I doing?

386
00:18:51,813 --> 00:18:54,190
It's the same fast food
in a different location.

387
00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:56,442
Have the margins of my life
become so narrow?

388
00:18:56,442 --> 00:18:59,278
pizza. I beat the Matrix today.
I went to the mall and had

389
00:18:59,278 --> 00:19:02,740
game-changing day for all of us.
Sounds like this has been a

390
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:04,408
I almost sat on my balls,

391
00:19:04,408 --> 00:19:08,120
but at the last second,
I made an adjustment.

392
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,998
Good work.
Good job.

393
00:19:09,998 --> 00:19:12,792
Well, we had a good lunch too.
Good job, man.

394
00:19:12,792 --> 00:19:14,794
Yeah.

395
00:19:14,794 --> 00:19:16,420
I spoke to the manager
about Die Hard.

396
00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:18,840
I told him he should
be ashamed of himself.

397
00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,132
Thanks.

398
00:19:20,132 --> 00:19:21,592
on the Dreamatorium.
Sorry I bailed

399
00:19:21,592 --> 00:19:23,970
pretty good in a pinch.
It's okay. Annie did

400
00:19:25,722 --> 00:19:27,807
All right, back to cramming?

401
00:19:29,017 --> 00:19:32,102
The people at the bank
loved my outfit.

402
00:19:32,102 --> 00:19:34,731
And they had all kinds
of questions about it,

403
00:19:34,731 --> 00:19:38,860
and even liberate them a little.
and my answers seemed to amuse

404
00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:40,361
A few of us went to lunch,

405
00:19:40,361 --> 00:19:44,198
conversation of my life.
and I had the deepest

406
00:19:44,198 --> 00:19:48,202
I'm telling everybody.
I gotta go.

407
00:19:48,202 --> 00:19:50,830
a long, dark night,
Hm. Maybe after

408
00:19:50,830 --> 00:19:52,623
to rise on Greendale.
the sun is starting

409
00:19:52,623 --> 00:19:55,418
Maybe. Maybe not.

410
00:19:55,418 --> 00:19:58,295
You never can tell what kind
of day you're gonna have.

411
00:19:58,295 --> 00:20:00,840
Okay, I didn't really avoid
sitting on them.

412
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:03,009
I sat right on them.

413
00:20:03,009 --> 00:20:04,928
I'm sorry.
Pierce, I'm sorry.

414
00:20:04,928 --> 00:20:07,847
Hurt like hell.
I saw eagles.

415
00:20:13,352 --> 00:20:15,145
Today, we're joined by Annie.
Hi.

416
00:20:15,145 --> 00:20:17,690
how to spruce up your apartment.
Who's gonna show us

417
00:20:17,690 --> 00:20:20,944
I thought I'd cover up the stain
What inspired this throw?

418
00:20:20,944 --> 00:20:23,529
where Abed spilled Code Red
on the couch last week.

419
00:20:23,529 --> 00:20:26,323
Oops. Crafty. And you have
some tips on entertaining.

420
00:20:26,323 --> 00:20:28,367
Yes, if you're
expecting company

421
00:20:28,367 --> 00:20:30,036
but you don't
have enough chairs,

422
00:20:30,036 --> 00:20:32,246
you can bring
pillows from your bedroom

423
00:20:32,246 --> 00:20:34,749
and use them on the floor
for a Moroccan feel.

424
00:20:34,749 --> 00:20:36,667
Ooh, a taste of the Orient.

425
00:20:36,667 --> 00:20:39,378
Actually, boys, I have
a little surprise for you.

426
00:20:39,378 --> 00:20:41,589
While you two were
out playing blazer tag…

427
00:20:41,589 --> 00:20:43,340
That's laser tag
with sport coats.

428
00:20:43,340 --> 00:20:46,844
…I did a little extreme
bedroom makeover.

429
00:20:46,844 --> 00:20:50,389
and got scrap fabric and…
I unbunked your beds

430
00:20:52,266 --> 00:20:53,977
It's okay. We can put it back.

431
00:20:53,977 --> 00:20:55,394
We can put it back
the way it was.

432
00:20:55,394 --> 00:20:57,229
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.

433
00:20:57,229 --> 00:21:01,567
I'm sorry.
Cut, Garrett.