1 00:00:00,560 --> 00:00:05,816 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/ 2 00:00:05,817 --> 00:00:08,847 mmm. 3 00:00:08,848 --> 00:00:10,348 Ugh. 4 00:00:10,349 --> 00:00:11,683 Hot 'n' brown's coffee really wakes me up 5 00:00:11,684 --> 00:00:13,318 to the fact that its coffee sucks. 6 00:00:13,319 --> 00:00:15,053 I miss having a coffee shop. 7 00:00:15,054 --> 00:00:16,605 Now where am I going to get my cappuccinos 8 00:00:16,606 --> 00:00:18,440 and Sarah McLachlan CDs? 9 00:00:18,441 --> 00:00:20,058 It wasn't that great. If had this space, 10 00:00:20,059 --> 00:00:22,227 I would have served fresh fruit and sandwiches, 11 00:00:22,228 --> 00:00:23,394 and I would've got rid 12 00:00:23,395 --> 00:00:24,729 of that take-a-penny, leave-a-penny nonsense. 13 00:00:24,730 --> 00:00:26,081 If the good lord wanted you to have a penny, 14 00:00:26,082 --> 00:00:28,033 - you'd have one. - Pierce... 15 00:00:28,034 --> 00:00:31,069 Why do you look like a wealthy murderer? 16 00:00:31,070 --> 00:00:32,621 I look like an entrepreneur. 17 00:00:32,622 --> 00:00:35,740 Now that my dad's gone, I'm expanding Hawthorne industries 18 00:00:35,741 --> 00:00:38,593 by investing in new products. 19 00:00:38,594 --> 00:00:42,080 - Like... these. - What's that? 20 00:00:42,081 --> 00:00:43,348 It's an automatic security camera 21 00:00:43,349 --> 00:00:45,383 that can tell your friends from intruders. 22 00:00:45,384 --> 00:00:46,751 How does it work? 23 00:00:46,752 --> 00:00:48,753 Your guests have arrived. 24 00:00:48,754 --> 00:00:51,890 Threat level four. 25 00:00:51,891 --> 00:00:53,108 Your guests have arrived. 26 00:00:53,109 --> 00:00:54,759 It's not calibrated. 27 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,909 Wireless racism. The future of the past is now. 28 00:00:57,910 --> 00:01:00,315 Why don't you put your money into a good idea, like Shirley? 29 00:01:00,316 --> 00:01:02,117 Oh, I made that offer the first day I met her. 30 00:01:02,118 --> 00:01:03,601 She almost broke my nose. 31 00:01:03,602 --> 00:01:04,903 I mean, Shirley's good with food, 32 00:01:04,904 --> 00:01:07,823 you have capital, and Greendale has real estate. 33 00:01:07,824 --> 00:01:09,207 What are you talking about, Britta? 34 00:01:09,208 --> 00:01:10,876 I'm talking about the whole reason you came here... 35 00:01:10,877 --> 00:01:12,661 - To start a business. - Hmm. 36 00:01:12,662 --> 00:01:14,212 What do you think, Shirley? 37 00:01:14,213 --> 00:01:16,447 Should I have my people call your people? 38 00:01:16,448 --> 00:01:19,000 I mean, not your people. 39 00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:20,952 I could think about it. 40 00:01:23,756 --> 00:01:25,456 is Shirley Bennett in the house? 41 00:01:28,127 --> 00:01:29,794 the year was 1991. 42 00:01:31,180 --> 00:01:34,465 Andre, what are you doing here? 43 00:01:34,466 --> 00:01:35,567 Oh! 44 00:01:41,307 --> 00:01:42,807 Spring fling dance. 45 00:01:42,808 --> 00:01:46,027 See, that's where I first laid eyes on Shirley Edwards. 46 00:01:46,028 --> 00:01:50,010 A vision in hyper color and hammer pants. 47 00:01:50,011 --> 00:01:53,818 Baby girl, I have loved you ever since there was a Soviet union 48 00:01:53,819 --> 00:01:55,653 - and only one Damon Wayans. - Oh. 49 00:01:55,654 --> 00:01:58,373 Baby, I know I've made mistakes, 50 00:01:58,374 --> 00:01:59,674 but I'm so happy we've made it through. 51 00:01:59,675 --> 00:02:01,993 But there's one thing, 52 00:02:01,994 --> 00:02:04,643 something important, that we keep putting off. 53 00:02:04,644 --> 00:02:06,548 Oh. 54 00:02:06,549 --> 00:02:09,267 Will you, Shirley Bennett, 55 00:02:09,268 --> 00:02:12,437 marry me, Andre Bennett, again? 56 00:02:12,438 --> 00:02:14,773 Yes, yes, again! 57 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:23,848 Shall I notify authorities? 58 00:02:50,676 --> 00:02:52,440 it's cool that Andre and Shirley are getting married again. 59 00:02:52,441 --> 00:02:54,484 There's a whole generation of viewers that didn't get to see the original. 60 00:02:54,485 --> 00:02:56,765 Let's hope it's more of a bale than a Kilmer situation. 61 00:02:56,766 --> 00:02:58,516 Second weddings are okay, I guess. 62 00:02:58,517 --> 00:03:00,018 If I had to rank 'em, uh... 63 00:03:00,019 --> 00:03:02,454 It would go fourth, seventh, second, 64 00:03:02,455 --> 00:03:04,823 fifth, first, third, sixth. 65 00:03:04,824 --> 00:03:06,975 - No, wait... first then fifth. - Got it... 66 00:03:06,976 --> 00:03:09,177 Fourth, seventh, second, first, fifth, third, sixth. 67 00:03:09,178 --> 00:03:11,329 When's our culture gonna outgrow this wedding thing? 68 00:03:11,330 --> 00:03:13,064 You're anti-wedding, now? 69 00:03:13,065 --> 00:03:14,588 No, she's just pro-anti. 70 00:03:14,589 --> 00:03:16,167 No to everything you both said. 71 00:03:16,168 --> 00:03:18,403 Weddings are like little girls' tea parties, 72 00:03:18,404 --> 00:03:20,071 except the women are the stuffed animals, 73 00:03:20,072 --> 00:03:22,040 the men are making them talk, 74 00:03:22,041 --> 00:03:23,375 and they're not drinking tea, 75 00:03:23,376 --> 00:03:25,410 they're drinking antiquated gender roles. 76 00:03:25,411 --> 00:03:27,395 Somebody tell Britta what an analogy is. 77 00:03:27,396 --> 00:03:28,913 I know what it is. 78 00:03:28,914 --> 00:03:32,750 It's like a thought with another thought's hat on. 79 00:03:32,751 --> 00:03:34,085 Hmm. 80 00:03:34,086 --> 00:03:36,104 Look, I can't get behind this marriage thing, either. 81 00:03:36,105 --> 00:03:37,389 It was invented back 82 00:03:37,390 --> 00:03:39,307 when "till death" meant "till your first cold." 83 00:03:39,308 --> 00:03:41,760 I mean, life's too long to spend it with someone else. 84 00:03:41,761 --> 00:03:43,612 - It's a sucker's game. - It's a mutual cop out. 85 00:03:43,613 --> 00:03:46,314 I mean, just nut up and die alone. 86 00:03:46,315 --> 00:03:47,983 - Mmm. - Hello. 87 00:03:47,984 --> 00:03:49,884 Oh, my God, we're so happy for you! 88 00:03:49,885 --> 00:03:51,786 - You are glowing. - I know, isn't it exciting? 89 00:03:51,787 --> 00:03:53,405 The rehearsal is in two days, 90 00:03:53,406 --> 00:03:54,539 and the wedding is the day after that, 91 00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:55,773 on our anniversary. 92 00:03:55,774 --> 00:03:57,108 And I'm sure you all can make it, 93 00:03:57,109 --> 00:03:58,840 because you're already here. 94 00:03:58,841 --> 00:04:00,342 You're having your wedding in the study room? 95 00:04:00,343 --> 00:04:01,446 Our church has certain policies 96 00:04:01,447 --> 00:04:03,615 regarding things like second weddings, 97 00:04:03,616 --> 00:04:05,333 and tight jeans and... 98 00:04:05,334 --> 00:04:06,718 Calico cats. 99 00:04:06,719 --> 00:04:08,753 Um, Jeff, I was wondering if you would do us the honor 100 00:04:08,754 --> 00:04:10,905 of giving a toast at our wedding? 101 00:04:10,906 --> 00:04:12,057 Good idea! 102 00:04:12,058 --> 00:04:14,192 Jeff has a lot of thoughts about marriage. 103 00:04:14,193 --> 00:04:15,560 I would be honored. 104 00:04:15,561 --> 00:04:17,962 Shirley, do you need any help with your wedding? 105 00:04:17,963 --> 00:04:19,214 This probably sounds silly, 106 00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:21,232 but every time I see a wedding idea I like, 107 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:22,484 I put it in a little scrapbook. 108 00:04:22,485 --> 00:04:25,170 Oh, that's nice. Ooh. 109 00:04:25,171 --> 00:04:26,404 We can help too. We just saw 110 00:04:26,405 --> 00:04:27,805 the inspector spacetime wedding episode, 111 00:04:27,806 --> 00:04:29,357 so we know what pitfalls to avoid. 112 00:04:29,358 --> 00:04:31,326 Be sure to get a DNA reading of your prospective mate. 113 00:04:31,327 --> 00:04:33,333 Inspector spacetime ended up marrying himself as a baby. 114 00:04:33,334 --> 00:04:34,496 I think I got this. 115 00:04:34,497 --> 00:04:36,448 Everyone just come and... 116 00:04:36,449 --> 00:04:39,484 Relax and behave normally. 117 00:04:44,721 --> 00:04:47,142 That's the noise people make when they're offended 118 00:04:47,143 --> 00:04:48,326 in all the movies that Annie rents. 119 00:04:48,327 --> 00:04:50,011 We'll try not to embarrass you 120 00:04:50,012 --> 00:04:52,130 at your community college library wedding. 121 00:04:52,131 --> 00:04:53,498 - Thank you. - Oh, Shirley, 122 00:04:53,499 --> 00:04:55,183 I managed to set up a meeting with the Dean, 123 00:04:55,184 --> 00:04:57,233 so we can pitch him our sandwich shop idea. 124 00:04:57,234 --> 00:04:59,235 I've already registered a website... 125 00:04:59,236 --> 00:05:04,392 It's, uh, h-t-t-p, colon, forward slash, forward slash, 126 00:05:04,393 --> 00:05:07,128 w-w-w, period, members, period, 127 00:05:07,129 --> 00:05:10,621 webplicity custom sites... All one word... period, 128 00:05:10,622 --> 00:05:12,567 - c-o... - Oh, I don't know, Pierce. 129 00:05:12,568 --> 00:05:14,753 I'm way too busy for that now with the wedding and everything. 130 00:05:14,754 --> 00:05:16,254 Bye-bye, everybody. 131 00:05:16,255 --> 00:05:18,373 - I have to practice my walk. - Ooh. 132 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:22,127 Great. 133 00:05:22,128 --> 00:05:24,510 Another business venture down the toilet. 134 00:05:24,511 --> 00:05:27,265 No problem, I've still got plan "C." 135 00:05:28,432 --> 00:05:31,035 Ladies and gentlemen, the trouser bench. 136 00:05:35,374 --> 00:05:37,525 For the man on the go who makes frequent stops. 137 00:05:39,779 --> 00:05:43,148 Will somebody please call all the ambulances? 138 00:05:43,149 --> 00:05:44,315 I can't believe Shirley. 139 00:05:44,316 --> 00:05:45,500 We should show up at this wedding 140 00:05:45,501 --> 00:05:46,818 and be the most normal people in the world. 141 00:05:46,819 --> 00:05:48,052 Yeah, I could go as normal man 142 00:05:48,053 --> 00:05:49,604 and you could be my trusty sidekick ordinario. 143 00:05:49,605 --> 00:05:52,323 - No. - That's already weird. 144 00:05:52,324 --> 00:05:53,691 We'd be playing into her hand. 145 00:05:53,692 --> 00:05:56,945 We should just show up wearing boring gray suits 146 00:05:56,946 --> 00:05:59,664 with gray ties and gray shirts. 147 00:05:59,665 --> 00:06:01,116 We could dye our hair gray. 148 00:06:01,117 --> 00:06:03,368 And then we could lay down on the sidewalk and be invisible. 149 00:06:03,369 --> 00:06:05,003 You know, maybe Shirley's got a point. 150 00:06:05,004 --> 00:06:06,788 I have an idea. 151 00:06:06,789 --> 00:06:09,263 What if we purged all the weirdness from our systems? 152 00:06:09,264 --> 00:06:11,376 - You mean... - A full 24-hour weird-down 153 00:06:11,377 --> 00:06:12,677 in the dreamatorium. 154 00:06:12,678 --> 00:06:14,462 Just you, me, and our imaginations... no restraints. 155 00:06:14,463 --> 00:06:16,798 By the wedding, our temptation to act weird will be gone. 156 00:06:16,799 --> 00:06:19,217 I'm feeling more normal already. 157 00:06:19,218 --> 00:06:20,918 - Crab walk home? - Yeah. 158 00:06:24,190 --> 00:06:28,143 Shirley, my ninth-grade english teacher used to say, 159 00:06:28,144 --> 00:06:30,562 "there will always be a reason not to follow your dreams." 160 00:06:30,563 --> 00:06:33,114 At the time, he meant I was under the age of consent. 161 00:06:33,115 --> 00:06:35,066 But his words still apply. 162 00:06:35,067 --> 00:06:37,869 Are you sure your wedding is the reason you're bailing 163 00:06:37,870 --> 00:06:39,988 - on this business with Pierce? - Uh, in the words 164 00:06:39,989 --> 00:06:41,772 of my ninth-grade english teacher, 165 00:06:41,773 --> 00:06:43,825 "you are dippin' and dappin' and don't know what's happenin'." 166 00:06:43,826 --> 00:06:45,243 Fine, we both went to public school. 167 00:06:45,244 --> 00:06:47,378 It's just that I don't want to see you slide 168 00:06:47,379 --> 00:06:49,914 - into your old comfort zone. - You don't know that. 169 00:06:49,915 --> 00:06:52,884 I am gonna start a business... Soon! 170 00:06:52,885 --> 00:06:55,253 I can't help it if I have floral arrangements to pick 171 00:06:55,254 --> 00:06:56,454 and a DJ to hire... 172 00:06:56,455 --> 00:06:57,889 Shirley, if that really is your excuse, 173 00:06:57,890 --> 00:07:00,825 I will plan your wedding for you! 174 00:07:06,732 --> 00:07:08,183 Ooh-hoo! Thank you. 175 00:07:08,184 --> 00:07:09,767 Oh, my good God. Thank you for that. 176 00:07:09,768 --> 00:07:13,121 I was serious. 177 00:07:15,858 --> 00:07:17,206 Britta, you're not planning my wedding. 178 00:07:17,207 --> 00:07:19,077 - What if Annie helps? - Oh, hey, guys. 179 00:07:19,078 --> 00:07:21,579 Did someone say "Annie", "help,"wedding," 180 00:07:21,580 --> 00:07:23,414 and something about maybe hydrangeas? 181 00:07:23,415 --> 00:07:24,666 Shirley, you can lie to yourself, 182 00:07:24,667 --> 00:07:26,084 but you can't lie to me. 183 00:07:26,085 --> 00:07:30,344 Do not use your second wedding as an excuse to limit yourself. 184 00:07:30,345 --> 00:07:33,347 Pierce, come here. 185 00:07:33,348 --> 00:07:37,852 Shirley, do you take this man to be your business partner? 186 00:07:37,853 --> 00:07:39,728 - Mmm, I guess. - Sure. 187 00:07:39,729 --> 00:07:41,683 I had to shelve the trouser bench anyway. 188 00:07:41,684 --> 00:07:43,518 There are still some parts of the prototype 189 00:07:43,519 --> 00:07:47,238 that need to be extracted. 190 00:07:47,239 --> 00:07:49,858 Maybe you're misunderstanding? 191 00:07:49,859 --> 00:07:52,694 I mean, from my butt. 192 00:07:52,695 --> 00:07:54,178 Excuse me. 193 00:07:58,183 --> 00:07:59,990 Meet Shirley, 194 00:07:59,991 --> 00:08:02,890 she's modern, she's urban, she's fun, and she's hungry. 195 00:08:02,891 --> 00:08:06,060 You probably notice she's black, but not a stereotype... 196 00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:08,395 - Suburban black. - Is she suburban or urban? 197 00:08:08,396 --> 00:08:09,813 She's half-urban. 198 00:08:09,814 --> 00:08:12,599 Let's say... Writer's secret, bad pitch... 199 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,719 Her father's a record producer, her mother's a Shirelle. 200 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:17,855 We're supposed to be preparing a business pitch. 201 00:08:17,856 --> 00:08:20,557 What about revenue projections? What are the margins gonna be? 202 00:08:20,558 --> 00:08:22,543 Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, 203 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:24,561 Shirley, Shirley, Shirley, Shirley. 204 00:08:24,562 --> 00:08:27,831 Sweet, innocent Shirley. 205 00:08:27,832 --> 00:08:30,417 - What was the question? - Look, 206 00:08:30,418 --> 00:08:32,669 this was Britta's stupid idea. 207 00:08:32,670 --> 00:08:34,354 I'd rather be with my man, planning my wedding, 208 00:08:34,355 --> 00:08:37,474 and you'd clearly rather be with Halle Berry in 1999. 209 00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:40,594 Pleasure not doing business with you. 210 00:08:40,595 --> 00:08:44,515 Shirley, Hawthorne wipes fired me. 211 00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:50,470 They were just waiting for my dad to be out of the picture. 212 00:08:50,471 --> 00:08:52,272 I'm not an entrepreneur. 213 00:08:52,273 --> 00:08:54,307 I'm just a kid with a bunch of money, I... 214 00:08:56,444 --> 00:08:58,645 Please, please, help me be somebody. 215 00:08:58,646 --> 00:09:01,648 Let me invest in you. 216 00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:09,590 First thing we need to figure out is our overhead. 217 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:10,924 Do you have a pen? 218 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:12,960 Yeah. 219 00:09:12,961 --> 00:09:14,545 Oops. 220 00:09:14,546 --> 00:09:16,380 These pockets. 221 00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:17,998 Do you know someone that can buy a pen? 222 00:09:17,999 --> 00:09:19,038 Yes! 223 00:09:19,039 --> 00:09:20,968 Well, have you thought about the color story 224 00:09:20,969 --> 00:09:22,136 for your wedding? 225 00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:23,220 He means the theme of the wedding. 226 00:09:23,221 --> 00:09:24,888 - Right, Dale? - Mm-hmm. 227 00:09:24,889 --> 00:09:26,140 Same theme as every wedding... 228 00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:28,375 Conformity, blind participation, and patriarchal... 229 00:09:28,376 --> 00:09:30,194 - What about pink? - We don't call it pink. 230 00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,728 We don't call anything by its name. 231 00:09:31,729 --> 00:09:33,447 That's, like, day-one floral school stuff. 232 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:35,566 This is citrine. This is opalescent. 233 00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:38,118 This is sea glass, cameo, and cerulean. 234 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:40,687 Come on, how difficult is this? 235 00:09:40,688 --> 00:09:42,956 You do one of these, one of these, 236 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,159 one of these, this one, 237 00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:48,361 this one and, like, stick a ribbon on it. Happy? 238 00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:53,033 Britta, that's a really beautiful arrangement. 239 00:09:53,034 --> 00:09:54,885 Color me lavender. 240 00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,503 "Lavender" means "impressed." 241 00:09:56,504 --> 00:09:59,890 Yeah, well, great... Flowers look good in a pot. 242 00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,642 There are people dying in Uganda. 243 00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,179 Got it. 244 00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:07,014 What! 245 00:10:07,015 --> 00:10:08,348 Ugh! 246 00:10:08,349 --> 00:10:10,417 - Ahh, ahh, ahh. - Don't eat my skin! 247 00:10:10,418 --> 00:10:13,187 I am shaving everything! 248 00:10:13,188 --> 00:10:15,906 - Well, that should do it. - Yeah. 249 00:10:15,907 --> 00:10:17,724 My God, isn't tonight Shirley's wedding rehearsal? 250 00:10:17,725 --> 00:10:18,859 Look at how we're dressed. 251 00:10:18,860 --> 00:10:20,127 Yes, this simply won't do. 252 00:10:20,128 --> 00:10:21,328 Let's change into something appropriate 253 00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,579 for the occasion and be on our way. 254 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:23,697 I agree. 255 00:10:23,698 --> 00:10:27,567 Troy and Abed being normal. 256 00:10:30,872 --> 00:10:32,339 Annie! 257 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,858 I need your help. 258 00:10:34,859 --> 00:10:37,878 Um, you're, like, sentimental and stuff. 259 00:10:37,879 --> 00:10:39,213 Oh! 260 00:10:39,214 --> 00:10:40,731 I'm really having trouble coming up with a toast. 261 00:10:40,732 --> 00:10:42,516 I find that hard to believe, Jeff. 262 00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:43,734 You once convinced Troy 263 00:10:43,735 --> 00:10:45,235 that turtlenecks were made of turtles' necks. 264 00:10:45,236 --> 00:10:48,222 It's true, my superpower is that I can assume any position 265 00:10:48,223 --> 00:10:50,307 that suits my purpose. In that example... 266 00:10:50,308 --> 00:10:52,559 Keeping turtlenecks as an option for myself, down the road. 267 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:54,645 But I do have a kryptonite. 268 00:10:54,646 --> 00:10:56,947 It's so obvious to me that marriage is dumb, 269 00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:58,482 I can't even pretend to get behind it. 270 00:10:58,483 --> 00:11:00,200 You know what I think would make the perfect toast? 271 00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:03,270 You, as Shirley's friend and a good guy, 272 00:11:03,271 --> 00:11:05,072 just saying what's really in your heart. 273 00:11:05,073 --> 00:11:08,208 There's something real in there. 274 00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:11,945 Maybe that's what scares you. 275 00:11:22,338 --> 00:11:24,224 I could use a drink. 276 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,459 Shirley's sandwiches can offer students 277 00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:28,295 more food for less money, and provide the campus 278 00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:29,897 with a higher percentage of the profits. 279 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:30,931 Pierce, put up the next slide. 280 00:11:30,932 --> 00:11:32,866 That's me! 281 00:11:32,867 --> 00:11:35,602 Where'd I get all that money I'm holding? 282 00:11:35,603 --> 00:11:37,020 I'm gonna tell you the three reasons 283 00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:38,989 that Shirley's sandwiches and your cafeteria are going 284 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,190 to be successful. 285 00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:41,992 Well, then I'm writing this down, hmm? 286 00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,977 Wait. 287 00:11:43,978 --> 00:11:45,746 Here's a pen. 288 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,998 Thank you. 289 00:11:57,759 --> 00:11:59,092 Britta, you're really good at this. 290 00:11:59,093 --> 00:12:01,628 - I know. - What's wrong with you? 291 00:12:01,629 --> 00:12:03,914 This may shock you, Annie, but I come from a long line 292 00:12:03,915 --> 00:12:06,633 - of wives and mothers. - Many do. 293 00:12:06,634 --> 00:12:08,518 But I ran away from it my whole life. 294 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,938 I refused to give Santa a christmas list, 295 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,173 because I didn't want to depend on any man for anything. 296 00:12:13,174 --> 00:12:14,441 And now, look at me! 297 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,727 I'm Betty Crocker. I'm Martha Stewart. 298 00:12:16,728 --> 00:12:18,762 I'm one of the Steppenwolf wives. 299 00:12:18,763 --> 00:12:21,565 Ohh, God. 300 00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:23,450 I'm gonna make some man very happy someday. 301 00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:25,786 Ooh. Easy. Slow down. 302 00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:27,137 What's with you guys? 303 00:12:27,138 --> 00:12:28,305 We de-whimsified ourselves. 304 00:12:28,306 --> 00:12:29,656 Yep. We're normal now. 305 00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:31,992 Oh. Good? 306 00:12:31,993 --> 00:12:33,526 Hey, anybody seen Shirley? 307 00:12:33,527 --> 00:12:35,045 What? Shirley's late to the rehearsal for her wedding? 308 00:12:35,046 --> 00:12:36,213 Oh, my. 309 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:37,981 Hey, man. You don't have to be sarcastic. 310 00:12:37,982 --> 00:12:39,216 I'm not being sarcastic. 311 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:40,700 We're heavily invested in your situation. 312 00:12:40,701 --> 00:12:42,135 Nothing's more important to us 313 00:12:42,136 --> 00:12:44,037 than your second wedding's rehearsal going smoothly. 314 00:12:44,038 --> 00:12:48,041 Walk away, man. 315 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,647 Hey! Did you think of a toast? 316 00:12:53,648 --> 00:12:54,731 Well, yeah. 317 00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:56,433 Uh, I had a drink, 318 00:12:56,434 --> 00:12:58,568 and I looked in my heart, 319 00:12:58,569 --> 00:13:02,555 and here's what I got so far... 320 00:13:02,556 --> 00:13:04,358 "Webster's dictionary defines..." 321 00:13:04,359 --> 00:13:05,842 Gah! Stop! 322 00:13:05,843 --> 00:13:07,661 "Webster's dictionary defines"? 323 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:09,896 That's the Jim Belushi of speech openings... 324 00:13:09,897 --> 00:13:11,698 It accomplishes nothing, but everyone keeps using it 325 00:13:11,699 --> 00:13:13,867 - and nobody understands why. - Yeah, well, it's all I got. 326 00:13:13,868 --> 00:13:16,370 That took me eight hours and six macallan neatses. 327 00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:18,705 Look, I'm sorry, I just don't believe in marriage. 328 00:13:18,706 --> 00:13:20,207 I do. It's inevitable. 329 00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:25,696 And then I'd put a counter across here and the ovens there. 330 00:13:25,697 --> 00:13:27,214 Okay, okay. 331 00:13:27,215 --> 00:13:30,750 And how fiscal will the quarterly earnings be? 332 00:13:30,751 --> 00:13:32,302 Well, initially, the fiscal... 333 00:13:32,303 --> 00:13:33,420 Wait, that question makes no sense. 334 00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:34,721 Ah! I know. 335 00:13:34,722 --> 00:13:37,107 I just want to sound as good at business as you are. 336 00:13:37,108 --> 00:13:39,109 I probably shouldn't say this, 337 00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,528 but I cannot believe you learned all this at Greendale. 338 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,564 - You're very professional. - I am, aren't I? 339 00:13:44,565 --> 00:13:47,818 I brought sodas, so we can toast to our futures. 340 00:13:47,819 --> 00:13:50,103 Look at me now, dad. 341 00:13:50,104 --> 00:13:51,438 Dad? Oh, my God, 342 00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:52,789 I'm supposed to be looking like a bride 343 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:55,876 for my wedding rehearsal to the dad of my children. 344 00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,828 That was... 345 00:13:57,829 --> 00:14:00,047 And odd dot to connect. 346 00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:07,671 give me another. 347 00:14:07,672 --> 00:14:08,722 Mmm. 348 00:14:12,543 --> 00:14:15,178 What's with you? 349 00:14:15,179 --> 00:14:16,980 This is who I am. 350 00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,348 Andre, sorry I'm late. 351 00:14:18,349 --> 00:14:19,649 I have wonderful news. 352 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:22,319 - Where were you? - Uh, getting wonderful news. 353 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:23,803 The Dean loved our pitch and... 354 00:14:23,804 --> 00:14:25,072 Your pitch? 355 00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:26,656 Woman, I've been waiting for you for two hours. 356 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:27,841 Oh, no. Has it been that long? 357 00:14:27,842 --> 00:14:29,109 I'm so sorry. 358 00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:30,944 Don't you dare use your sexy voice on me. 359 00:14:30,945 --> 00:14:33,280 Ohh. 360 00:14:33,281 --> 00:14:34,581 It's just a rehearsal. 361 00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:36,116 Lord knows we've done it before. 362 00:14:36,117 --> 00:14:38,301 That's not the point. 363 00:14:38,302 --> 00:14:39,836 Shirley, I thought this wedding was supposed 364 00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,671 to be the start of us getting back to normal. 365 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:43,156 - Back to normal? - Yes. 366 00:14:43,157 --> 00:14:45,258 I need to not be Mr. Mom anymore. 367 00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,427 Okay, I got to get back to my stereo business. 368 00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,179 You know my store's been struggling. 369 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:50,630 I'm sorry, Andre, 370 00:14:50,631 --> 00:14:52,933 but "normal" went out the door the day you did. 371 00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,968 Well, if we can't get back to the way things were, 372 00:14:54,969 --> 00:14:56,937 why the hell are we getting remarried? 373 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:05,245 Oy... 374 00:15:05,246 --> 00:15:07,097 These shrimp are to die for. 375 00:15:12,262 --> 00:15:14,198 Yah, yah, yah! 376 00:15:14,199 --> 00:15:16,283 Yah, yah, yah! 377 00:15:16,284 --> 00:15:17,484 Walk the plank. 378 00:15:17,485 --> 00:15:19,620 I think you've mistaken us for pirates. 379 00:15:19,621 --> 00:15:21,605 We are community college students. 380 00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:25,509 Abed, I just had an odd thought. 381 00:15:25,510 --> 00:15:27,044 What if once you go from being weird to normal, 382 00:15:27,045 --> 00:15:28,779 you can never go back to being weird again? 383 00:15:28,780 --> 00:15:30,164 That is an odd thought. 384 00:15:30,165 --> 00:15:31,448 Well, let's hope it's the last. 385 00:15:31,449 --> 00:15:35,052 Cheers to that, my everyday friend. 386 00:15:35,053 --> 00:15:36,303 Hello, everyone. 387 00:15:36,304 --> 00:15:40,307 Shirley asked me to say something nice at her wedding. 388 00:15:40,308 --> 00:15:42,676 - This is the rehearsal. - Shut up, Leonard! 389 00:15:42,677 --> 00:15:44,962 Those teenage girls you play ping-pong with are doing it ironically. 390 00:15:44,963 --> 00:15:46,597 Well! 391 00:15:46,598 --> 00:15:48,148 I searched my heart... 392 00:15:48,149 --> 00:15:51,769 For something nice to say at a wedding. 393 00:15:51,770 --> 00:15:54,438 And I found nothing, so I had a drink. 394 00:15:54,439 --> 00:15:57,491 And then I looked real hard. 395 00:15:57,492 --> 00:16:01,161 And you know what I found? 396 00:16:01,162 --> 00:16:05,165 My daddy said he would stay with my mommy forever, 397 00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:06,884 and he left! 398 00:16:06,885 --> 00:16:09,954 Marriage is a lie! Nobody commits to this! 399 00:16:09,955 --> 00:16:11,422 Nobody stays with anybody forever, 400 00:16:11,423 --> 00:16:13,457 so why do we keep lying? 401 00:16:13,458 --> 00:16:14,658 I'm gonna stay with somebody forever. 402 00:16:14,659 --> 00:16:17,211 It's in my stupid DNA. 403 00:16:17,212 --> 00:16:20,931 I was born to be a wife and that's all I'm ever gonna be! 404 00:16:20,932 --> 00:16:22,332 You expect anyone here to believe that? 405 00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,935 I don't care if anybody believes it, jackass! 406 00:16:24,936 --> 00:16:26,837 - It's a fact! - Prove it, ding dong! 407 00:16:26,838 --> 00:16:28,222 There are a lot of layers to this. 408 00:16:28,223 --> 00:16:30,658 It's almost too conceptual to follow, but... 409 00:16:30,659 --> 00:16:32,226 I love it. 410 00:16:32,227 --> 00:16:34,261 So that's what this was all about, Andre? 411 00:16:34,262 --> 00:16:35,779 Just about wanting me back in the kitchen? 412 00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:37,648 I thought you loved being a wife and a mother. 413 00:16:37,649 --> 00:16:38,849 Of course, but can't you see 414 00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:39,900 that's not all I'm about anymore. 415 00:16:39,901 --> 00:16:41,719 Hi, sorry, don't want to interrupt. 416 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:44,455 But you are cordially invited to prevent a disaster. 417 00:16:44,456 --> 00:16:47,041 I promise to put your dreams before mine. 418 00:16:47,042 --> 00:16:48,642 I promise to bottle up my repulsion 419 00:16:48,643 --> 00:16:50,193 at the sight of your hair in the drain. 420 00:16:50,194 --> 00:16:53,414 I promise to earn no more than 70% of what you would make 421 00:16:53,415 --> 00:16:54,698 at the same job. 422 00:16:54,699 --> 00:16:56,250 - What about babies? - What about 'em? 423 00:16:56,251 --> 00:16:57,501 - How many? - Pick a number, dick! 424 00:16:57,502 --> 00:16:58,635 Like, it's up to me! 425 00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:00,421 What in God's name are you two doing? 426 00:17:00,422 --> 00:17:01,889 Getting married. 427 00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,540 What does it look like we're doing? 428 00:17:03,541 --> 00:17:05,876 You two are damn fools. Oh, sorry. 429 00:17:05,877 --> 00:17:07,878 - I'll allow it. - I am a fool. 430 00:17:07,879 --> 00:17:11,932 I was a fool to think I wasn't destined for a life of this. 431 00:17:11,933 --> 00:17:13,216 I mean, look around. 432 00:17:13,217 --> 00:17:16,153 Can you even imagine what kind of wedding I could throw 433 00:17:16,154 --> 00:17:18,055 if I actually gave a crap? 434 00:17:18,056 --> 00:17:21,058 - No offense. - Knock it off. 435 00:17:21,059 --> 00:17:23,277 Being good at weddings doesn't make you good at marriage. 436 00:17:23,278 --> 00:17:24,411 Exactly. 437 00:17:24,412 --> 00:17:25,662 People can make all sorts of promises, 438 00:17:25,663 --> 00:17:27,281 but they never stick it out. 439 00:17:27,282 --> 00:17:29,450 It's not something you just stick out, man, all right? 440 00:17:29,451 --> 00:17:30,667 It's a risk that you take together. 441 00:17:30,668 --> 00:17:32,569 And you don't just promise it once. 442 00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:34,371 You got to promise it every day. 443 00:17:34,372 --> 00:17:35,956 Yes, but the person you're making promises to 444 00:17:35,957 --> 00:17:38,375 is going to change. You have to accept that. 445 00:17:38,376 --> 00:17:41,378 I do. But do you promise to be patient 446 00:17:41,379 --> 00:17:43,914 when that person's stereo business takes a little while 447 00:17:43,915 --> 00:17:45,916 - to get off the ground. - I do, but... 448 00:17:45,917 --> 00:17:47,868 Do you accept that ten years is more than a little while 449 00:17:47,869 --> 00:17:49,353 and that iPods aren't going away, 450 00:17:49,354 --> 00:17:53,390 and maybe it's time to let somebody else take the lead? 451 00:17:53,391 --> 00:17:54,525 I do. 452 00:17:54,526 --> 00:17:56,810 You do? 453 00:17:56,811 --> 00:18:00,147 Yes, baby, I swear I do. 454 00:18:00,148 --> 00:18:02,116 Then I promise I will do whatever it takes 455 00:18:02,117 --> 00:18:03,867 to make this work forever. 456 00:18:03,868 --> 00:18:05,903 Oh! 457 00:18:05,904 --> 00:18:08,271 Well, in that case, let's rehearse this bad boy. 458 00:18:08,272 --> 00:18:09,573 - Mm-hmm. - Actually, 459 00:18:09,574 --> 00:18:10,991 you pretty much just married each other. 460 00:18:10,992 --> 00:18:12,793 If you let me pronounce you man and wife, 461 00:18:12,794 --> 00:18:14,244 you can kiss the bride 462 00:18:14,245 --> 00:18:16,547 and you can save like, um, 70 bucks. 463 00:18:16,548 --> 00:18:18,115 - What do you say, baby? - Mmm. 464 00:18:18,116 --> 00:18:19,900 Mm-hmm. 465 00:18:19,901 --> 00:18:22,086 Done and done. Husband and wife. 466 00:18:22,087 --> 00:18:24,171 Now how about it? 467 00:18:24,172 --> 00:18:28,258 Let's party! 468 00:18:28,259 --> 00:18:30,511 Lame. 469 00:18:48,146 --> 00:18:49,146 Abed. 470 00:18:49,147 --> 00:18:50,280 Abed! Abed! 471 00:18:50,281 --> 00:18:52,116 We're weird. We need to be weird. 472 00:18:52,117 --> 00:18:53,667 You want to see something weird? Check out this dance. 473 00:18:53,668 --> 00:18:55,335 Uh, what did you call this? The "Lindbergh lean"? 474 00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:56,820 What'll they think of next? 475 00:19:00,875 --> 00:19:03,210 Inspector spacetime... 476 00:19:03,211 --> 00:19:05,512 Ohh, thank the cosmic engineer I found you. 477 00:19:05,513 --> 00:19:06,964 Troy, this is hardly the time. 478 00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:09,332 Or is it hardly the space? 479 00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:10,634 Okay, I see what you did there. 480 00:19:10,635 --> 00:19:12,019 But now I have to get back to my Lindbergh lean 481 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,637 with, uh... I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name. 482 00:19:13,638 --> 00:19:15,973 Inspector... What sort of creature 483 00:19:15,974 --> 00:19:19,843 would do a dance called the Lindbergh lean? 484 00:19:19,844 --> 00:19:21,945 - Blorgons? - Blorgons. 485 00:19:21,946 --> 00:19:23,947 My name's Danielle. 486 00:19:23,948 --> 00:19:27,184 Constable Reggie, it appears the Blorgons have developed 487 00:19:27,185 --> 00:19:30,621 - the ability to take human form. - Weirdos. 488 00:19:32,307 --> 00:19:36,160 Your photonic bowler hat. 489 00:19:37,712 --> 00:19:39,546 Ahh. 490 00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:40,864 Blorgon patrol. 491 00:19:40,865 --> 00:19:43,884 Shirley, I have some good news and bad news. 492 00:19:43,885 --> 00:19:47,304 The good news is the board loved your sandwich shop idea. 493 00:19:48,539 --> 00:19:50,807 The bad news is that they made a few calls 494 00:19:50,808 --> 00:19:52,476 and sold the space to subway, the sandwich place. 495 00:19:52,477 --> 00:19:54,837 What? Pierce and I put a lot of work into that idea. 496 00:19:54,838 --> 00:19:57,481 - How could you do this, Dean? - I'm sorry! 497 00:19:57,482 --> 00:19:59,016 The board went over my head on this one. 498 00:19:59,017 --> 00:20:01,735 And I don't remember being invited to your wedding, 499 00:20:01,736 --> 00:20:04,821 so I guess we're even on the hurting-each-other front. 500 00:20:04,822 --> 00:20:08,992 I'm a blast at weddings. 501 00:20:08,993 --> 00:20:10,777 There go all my dreams. 502 00:20:10,778 --> 00:20:12,563 This is just a setback. 503 00:20:12,564 --> 00:20:14,848 You don't have to give up just because of subway. 504 00:20:14,849 --> 00:20:16,817 Guess I better go break the news to Pierce. 505 00:20:16,818 --> 00:20:18,235 He's not gonna like this. 506 00:20:18,236 --> 00:20:19,753 Remember that temper tantrum he threw 507 00:20:19,754 --> 00:20:22,122 when Adam Sandler "stole" his idea for Jack and Jill? 508 00:20:22,123 --> 00:20:23,373 You're underestimating him. 509 00:20:23,374 --> 00:20:24,625 I think Pierce is a lot more mature 510 00:20:24,626 --> 00:20:25,876 than we all give him credit for. 511 00:20:25,877 --> 00:20:30,547 Look at me now, dad! How's it taste? 512 00:20:30,548 --> 00:20:34,434 How many sandwich places did you have? 513 00:20:34,435 --> 00:20:36,588 None! 514 00:20:36,589 --> 00:20:38,631 Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD www.addic7ed.com/