1 00:00:00,978 --> 00:00:02,396 Didn't they say 304? 2 00:00:02,396 --> 00:00:03,898 No, 303. I wrote it down twice. 3 00:00:07,985 --> 00:00:11,405 Hi. 4 00:00:11,405 --> 00:00:13,156 Come on in. Wow. Okay. 5 00:00:13,156 --> 00:00:14,783 Wow. 6 00:00:14,783 --> 00:00:16,243 What a great place. 7 00:00:16,243 --> 00:00:18,954 You guys… You guys look so fancy. 8 00:00:18,954 --> 00:00:22,207 We read a book on being hosts. Rule one, dress to impress. 9 00:00:22,207 --> 00:00:26,461 Rule number two, avoid touchy topics like the Negro problem. 10 00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:28,047 The book was written in the '40s. Yeah. 11 00:00:28,047 --> 00:00:30,841 Good, you guys are finally here. Finally? 12 00:00:30,841 --> 00:00:34,094 Time flies when I'm baking. Shirley showed up at 3. 13 00:00:34,094 --> 00:00:35,596 No, it doesn't. 14 00:00:35,596 --> 00:00:37,973 was propped open with this. The door downstairs 15 00:00:37,973 --> 00:00:41,101 Anyone could've wandered in. This is really unsafe. 16 00:00:41,101 --> 00:00:43,102 Like one of our guests? 17 00:00:43,102 --> 00:00:44,939 I'll be right back. Thank you, Troy. 18 00:00:44,939 --> 00:00:46,398 Let me give you the grand tour. 19 00:00:46,398 --> 00:00:47,816 Bathroom, kitchen, who cares? 20 00:00:47,816 --> 00:00:50,527 This is the boulder scene from Raiders, 21 00:00:50,527 --> 00:00:52,029 with actual rolling boulder. 22 00:00:52,029 --> 00:00:53,321 Ooh. Yeah. 23 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:55,198 Adiós, Satipo. 24 00:00:55,198 --> 00:00:57,117 Ah… Pow. 25 00:00:57,117 --> 00:01:00,037 Super cool. And sexy. Pretty cool, huh? 26 00:01:00,037 --> 00:01:02,873 Super sexy cool. Overselling it. 27 00:01:02,873 --> 00:01:05,584 But we ordered real pizza. I made pizza. 28 00:01:05,584 --> 00:01:08,754 Nothing more real than homemade. Didn't have some ingredients, 29 00:01:08,754 --> 00:01:11,172 so I used ketchup and cream cheese. 30 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,174 We ordered real pizza. 31 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,760 Uh, Abed. 32 00:01:16,095 --> 00:01:21,266 Okay. Hey, I got you that. Hi. Agh. Ha. 33 00:01:21,266 --> 00:01:25,437 Bienvenido de la casa chez TroBed. Very nice. 34 00:01:25,437 --> 00:01:27,564 Oh, look, Indiana Jones 35 00:01:27,564 --> 00:01:29,733 of Perpetual Virginity. and the Apartment 36 00:01:31,359 --> 00:01:34,362 Chop busted, fellow adult, chop busted. 37 00:01:34,362 --> 00:01:36,824 It's nice. Not mansion nice, but it's nice. 38 00:01:36,824 --> 00:01:39,618 Didn't you used to live in a mansion with me? 39 00:01:39,618 --> 00:01:42,161 Yeah, but this is more my speed and century. 40 00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:44,123 Well, I've hardly missed you at all 41 00:01:44,123 --> 00:01:46,207 since I had you removed from my portraits. 42 00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:49,044 Jeff, check it out. Serbian rum. 43 00:01:49,044 --> 00:01:51,922 it is banned there. So strong, 44 00:01:51,922 --> 00:01:55,092 Banned in Serbia, Jeff. Heh, heh. 45 00:01:55,092 --> 00:01:56,927 Let that concept sink in. 46 00:01:56,927 --> 00:01:59,220 You enjoy. I have to leave. Oh? 47 00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:02,432 Yeah, sorry. I got an invite to the opening of a new club. 48 00:02:02,432 --> 00:02:04,643 it was designed for me. Look, it's like 49 00:02:04,643 --> 00:02:07,187 and mailed it a month ago I made that in Photoshop 50 00:02:07,187 --> 00:02:08,605 so you'd keep tonight open. 51 00:02:08,605 --> 00:02:10,065 There's no such thing 52 00:02:10,065 --> 00:02:12,734 Boobs and Billiards Club? as Single Malt Platinum 53 00:02:12,734 --> 00:02:14,235 Oh. 54 00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,279 said it out loud. I guess I never 55 00:02:16,279 --> 00:02:18,365 than boobs and billiards. We offer more 56 00:02:18,365 --> 00:02:21,035 What? One word, two syllables. 57 00:02:21,035 --> 00:02:22,202 Don't say charades. 58 00:02:22,202 --> 00:02:24,121 Yahtzee! 59 00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:26,331 Is charades off the table? 60 00:02:30,460 --> 00:02:33,505 To run out of steam ♪ d Give me the hope 61 00:02:36,925 --> 00:02:41,013 Tied up, dead in a year ♪ d We could be roped up 62 00:02:46,143 --> 00:02:50,522 They all just fade away d d One by one 63 00:02:53,650 --> 00:02:56,195 Come on. And… 64 00:02:57,362 --> 00:02:59,865 Okay. 65 00:02:59,865 --> 00:03:03,744 Now, "how to play Yahtzee." 66 00:03:03,744 --> 00:03:05,412 Is there nothing from our youth 67 00:03:05,412 --> 00:03:07,956 that these companies won't repackage for a buck? 68 00:03:07,956 --> 00:03:09,917 Call it Yahtzee all you want. 69 00:03:09,917 --> 00:03:12,251 it's Puerto Rican chess. Everybody knows 70 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:16,798 We can't buzz him up. It's just the pizza. 71 00:03:16,798 --> 00:03:18,466 Someone has to go down. 72 00:03:20,552 --> 00:03:24,723 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go. 73 00:03:24,723 --> 00:03:26,808 six different timelines. You're creating 74 00:03:26,808 --> 00:03:28,602 Of course I am, Abed. 75 00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:35,943 Two. One, two. Annie. Okay, fine. 76 00:03:35,943 --> 00:03:38,904 All this talk of going down. I guess I'm going down. 77 00:03:38,904 --> 00:03:41,865 You guys know I had sex with Eartha Kitt in an airplane? 78 00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:44,910 It's not namedropping We're about to eat. 79 00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:47,412 if it comes up organically/ Checking on my pies. 80 00:03:50,207 --> 00:03:52,459 Yeah, over here. Bathroom? 81 00:03:53,877 --> 00:03:57,714 a pregnancy test look like? Uh, guys, what does 82 00:03:57,714 --> 00:04:01,635 Plastic with a thing on the end. So this is definitely a gun. 83 00:04:01,635 --> 00:04:04,096 Whoa! Yeah, put that away. Oh, my… 84 00:04:04,096 --> 00:04:06,347 Why does Annie have a gun? That's not a gun. 85 00:04:06,347 --> 00:04:10,435 Here, Troy. Happy housewarming. That's a girl's peashooter. 86 00:04:10,435 --> 00:04:14,940 What are we gonna do about this? I'm gonna get a drink. 87 00:04:14,940 --> 00:04:16,733 Ha, ha, ha. Ow! 88 00:04:16,733 --> 00:04:19,194 People hitting their heads. What's so funny? 89 00:04:19,194 --> 00:04:20,779 Don't fight over them. 90 00:04:23,406 --> 00:04:25,366 Well, you can fight a little. 91 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,368 Smells weird. 92 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:30,205 Smells weird. What did you do? I beg your pardon? 93 00:04:30,205 --> 00:04:33,000 Abed, you don't ask someone a question like that. 94 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,294 It's not dignified. 95 00:04:35,294 --> 00:04:36,795 Pizza! 96 00:04:36,795 --> 00:04:40,757 Pizza, pizza, go in tummy Me so hungy, me so hungy 97 00:04:40,757 --> 00:04:42,968 was super creepy. The pizza guy 98 00:04:42,968 --> 00:04:44,803 he was a pizza guy? So you're saying 99 00:04:47,097 --> 00:04:48,890 in the other timelines? What happened 100 00:04:48,890 --> 00:04:52,102 no other timelines. Abed, there are 101 00:04:54,688 --> 00:04:57,316 on my left with one, Okay, starting 102 00:04:57,316 --> 00:04:58,817 your number comes up, you go. 103 00:04:58,817 --> 00:05:00,902 six different timelines. You're creating 104 00:05:00,902 --> 00:05:02,570 Of course I am, Abed. 105 00:05:06,658 --> 00:05:09,203 Four. One, two, three, four. Shirley. 106 00:05:09,203 --> 00:05:12,497 my pies burn. Hee-hee. Okay, just don't let 107 00:05:14,249 --> 00:05:16,168 no one eats those pies. Remember, 108 00:05:16,168 --> 00:05:19,587 Come on, let's just talk to her. We tried, but she ignored us. 109 00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,340 The woman has a baking problem. 110 00:05:21,340 --> 00:05:24,218 I don't like being the bad guy any more than anybody else… 111 00:05:26,553 --> 00:05:29,056 Yeah, over here. Bathroom? 112 00:05:30,349 --> 00:05:33,810 We do not enable her baking. We have a pact. 113 00:05:33,810 --> 00:05:35,687 It's better for her in the long run. 114 00:05:35,687 --> 00:05:37,772 Know who got it in the long run? 115 00:05:37,772 --> 00:05:40,859 Eartha Kitt when I nailed her in the airplane bathroom. 116 00:05:40,859 --> 00:05:44,154 What? Came up organically. Ew, Pierce. 117 00:05:44,154 --> 00:05:46,573 Here, Troy. Happy housewarming. 118 00:05:46,573 --> 00:05:48,200 Oh. 119 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:51,161 Cool. Thanks, Pierce. 120 00:05:51,161 --> 00:05:52,996 Whoa! 121 00:05:52,996 --> 00:05:57,084 What? It's a Norwegian troll. What is it? 122 00:05:57,084 --> 00:05:59,961 together, I had it on display When Troy and I were living 123 00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:03,965 in the hall outside his bedroom. He seemed very taken with it. 124 00:06:05,675 --> 00:06:08,262 It used to watch me sleep! Pierce, shame on you. 125 00:06:08,262 --> 00:06:11,139 Jeff, what are you gonna do? I'm gonna get a drink. 126 00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:12,849 Ha, ha, ha. Ow! 127 00:06:12,849 --> 00:06:14,809 Barely felt it. Oh, my God. Are you okay? 128 00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:16,186 Let me look at it in the bathroom. 129 00:06:16,186 --> 00:06:17,645 It's not dignified. 130 00:06:18,521 --> 00:06:19,814 Pizza! 131 00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,025 Pizza, pizza, in my tummy 132 00:06:22,025 --> 00:06:24,443 Me so hungy, me so hungy 133 00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:27,155 Did someone remember to take out my pies? 134 00:06:28,115 --> 00:06:30,200 Seriously? Oh! 135 00:06:33,203 --> 00:06:34,955 Oh, no. 136 00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:39,000 Shirley, it doesn't matter. Seriously? 137 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,543 We weren't gonna eat them. 138 00:06:40,543 --> 00:06:43,213 You're not allowed to have baking as an identity. 139 00:06:43,213 --> 00:06:45,548 the only married woman Excuse me for being 140 00:06:45,548 --> 00:06:49,803 in a group of horny toads making googly eyes at each other. 141 00:06:49,803 --> 00:06:51,179 Googly eyes? Googly eyes? 142 00:06:56,601 --> 00:06:58,228 Shirley, it's okay. 143 00:06:58,228 --> 00:07:01,440 at me either. We're the same. Nobody makes googly eyes 144 00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:05,402 Oh, Shirley. Shirley. 145 00:07:07,237 --> 00:07:09,030 Adiós, Satipo. 146 00:07:11,283 --> 00:07:14,328 didn't burn in other timelines. Why is she upset? Her pies 147 00:07:14,328 --> 00:07:16,330 a nervous breakdown. Shirley just had 148 00:07:16,330 --> 00:07:18,415 More like a nervous… Bake-down, I know. 149 00:07:18,415 --> 00:07:22,002 There are no other timelines. I didn't say it on purpose. 150 00:07:24,338 --> 00:07:26,840 on my left with one, Okay, starting 151 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,425 your number comes up, you go. 152 00:07:28,425 --> 00:07:30,469 six different timelines. You're creating 153 00:07:30,469 --> 00:07:32,387 Of course I am, Abed. 154 00:07:39,186 --> 00:07:42,605 Three. One, two, three. Pierce. Crap. 155 00:07:44,107 --> 00:07:46,567 I was taking one in an airplane Speaking of crap, 156 00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,611 decided to bang me. when Eartha Kitt 157 00:07:48,611 --> 00:07:51,072 What? It's where my mind went. Oh! 158 00:07:51,072 --> 00:07:52,824 Your mind went years ago. 159 00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:58,246 Ugh. I'm gonna check on my pies. 160 00:08:01,458 --> 00:08:03,668 Yeah, over here. Bathroom? 161 00:08:03,668 --> 00:08:08,089 I love your place, Troy. You're all grown up now. 162 00:08:08,089 --> 00:08:11,676 I can't believe those are real mahogany bunk beds in there. 163 00:08:11,676 --> 00:08:14,179 I bet that cost you a few allowances. 164 00:08:14,179 --> 00:08:15,514 Hm. All right. 165 00:08:15,514 --> 00:08:17,974 Oh. Now we done it. Aw. Troy. 166 00:08:19,309 --> 00:08:21,644 Britta's in the ba… Adiós, Satipo. 167 00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,901 Troy. Who is it? 168 00:08:27,901 --> 00:08:31,196 I'm washing my hands. Good, then I can come in. 169 00:08:31,196 --> 00:08:33,740 Oh, hi! Um… 170 00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:37,202 I was, uh, smoking a cigarette. Uh, ahem. 171 00:08:37,202 --> 00:08:38,870 I know what you were doing. 172 00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:41,498 I'm 21 years old. I'm a man. 173 00:08:42,165 --> 00:08:44,459 Oh, okay, here. 174 00:08:48,255 --> 00:08:51,132 We all know that. I know that. 175 00:08:51,132 --> 00:08:54,261 Then why is Jeff always picking on me? 176 00:08:54,261 --> 00:08:56,388 a little hard on Troy. You seem to be 177 00:08:56,388 --> 00:08:57,722 I'm gonna get a drink. 178 00:08:57,722 --> 00:09:00,058 Oh, my God. Are you okay? Ow! 179 00:09:00,058 --> 00:09:02,185 Barely felt it. Let me look in the bathroom. 180 00:09:02,185 --> 00:09:05,439 Britta's in the bathroom. Oh, um… 181 00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:10,193 Oh, no, what happened? Minor head wound. 182 00:09:10,193 --> 00:09:12,904 we'll clean it and apply ice. If there's an abrasion, 183 00:09:12,904 --> 00:09:14,697 You make a good nurse. Thanks. 184 00:09:14,697 --> 00:09:17,117 Dr. Shirley says mini pies are the best medicine. 185 00:09:17,117 --> 00:09:19,994 to see her degree. Then I'd like 186 00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:22,456 because you're a threat. He's butting antlers 187 00:09:22,456 --> 00:09:25,250 You've got your own place, you've got a future, 188 00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:28,336 you've got a bowl full of olives next to the toilet. 189 00:09:28,336 --> 00:09:30,671 It's a fancy party, Britta. 190 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,133 You know what Jeff has in his bathroom? 191 00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:34,551 Neither do I. 192 00:09:34,551 --> 00:09:37,678 He keeps his toiletries in a safe under the sink. 193 00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:41,600 His whole personality is based around guarding himself. 194 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,936 You don't have to be like that to be a man. 195 00:09:46,313 --> 00:09:49,065 You're really cool, Britta. 196 00:09:49,065 --> 00:09:51,526 Man! Pizza guys are getting worse and worse looking. 197 00:09:51,526 --> 00:09:54,237 Guess all the good ones went into porn. 198 00:09:54,237 --> 00:09:56,406 Ceiling fan. I miss all the fun. 199 00:09:56,406 --> 00:09:58,074 in the other timelines? What happened 200 00:09:58,074 --> 00:09:59,700 Who cares? Who cares? 201 00:10:06,958 --> 00:10:09,419 Starting on my left with one, 202 00:10:09,419 --> 00:10:11,087 your number comes up, you go. 203 00:10:11,087 --> 00:10:13,089 six different timelines. You're creating 204 00:10:13,089 --> 00:10:14,715 Of course I am, Abed. 205 00:10:18,761 --> 00:10:21,181 Six. One, two, three, four, five, six. 206 00:10:21,181 --> 00:10:22,557 Britta. Great. 207 00:10:22,557 --> 00:10:25,935 Great. You know what's great? Air travel. 208 00:10:25,935 --> 00:10:28,813 I've flown a lot, a lot of airplane stories. 209 00:10:28,813 --> 00:10:32,275 Once had sex with Eartha Kitt… I'm gonna check on my pies. 210 00:10:36,404 --> 00:10:38,698 Hm. Hey. 211 00:10:38,698 --> 00:10:41,159 I'm gonna get a drink. You guys are my best… 212 00:10:41,159 --> 00:10:42,536 Ha, ha, ha. Ow! 213 00:10:42,536 --> 00:10:44,704 Ha, ha, ha! Oh, my God. Are you okay? 214 00:10:44,704 --> 00:10:47,582 Barely felt it. Let me look in the bathroom. 215 00:10:49,042 --> 00:10:50,835 Do I need to refill the toilet olives? 216 00:10:50,835 --> 00:10:52,753 We're good. I checked. You're the best. 217 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,340 Wanna stay up all night talking? Duh-doy! 218 00:10:55,340 --> 00:10:57,842 Here, Troy. Happy housewarming. 219 00:10:57,842 --> 00:11:00,428 Oh, cool. Thanks, Pierce. 220 00:11:01,555 --> 00:11:03,097 You make a good nurse, Annie. 221 00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:04,683 Thank you. 222 00:11:04,683 --> 00:11:07,519 a tourniquet the other day. I actually had to apply 223 00:11:07,519 --> 00:11:09,688 outside my building. A guy got stabbed 224 00:11:09,688 --> 00:11:12,524 What? You gotta get the hell out of that apartment. 225 00:11:12,524 --> 00:11:15,109 You don't have to treat me like a kid anymore. 226 00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,987 Yeah, but adults still need to be protected. 227 00:11:19,197 --> 00:11:22,033 I can't help but worry about you, Annie. 228 00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:23,618 You're important to me. 229 00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:30,124 Aah! Stop! Feel the terror! 230 00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,919 Feel the terror of the Norwegian troll! 231 00:11:32,919 --> 00:11:35,463 What's going on in here? Pierce is terrorizing Troy. 232 00:11:35,463 --> 00:11:36,797 we moved in together. He's jealous 233 00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,341 You're the one who's jealous. 234 00:11:38,341 --> 00:11:39,509 Why would I be jealous? 235 00:11:39,509 --> 00:11:41,553 Because you're lonely and crazy. 236 00:11:47,016 --> 00:11:50,228 Hey, guys, this is Toby, our pizza delivery guy. 237 00:11:50,228 --> 00:11:52,105 I know this is gonna sound nuts, 238 00:11:52,105 --> 00:11:55,567 but we're in love and we're getting married. 239 00:12:01,615 --> 00:12:04,075 in the other timelines? What happened 240 00:12:04,075 --> 00:12:07,621 Wait, there are other timelines? 241 00:12:09,664 --> 00:12:12,250 Starting on my left with one, 242 00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:13,792 your number comes up, you go. 243 00:12:13,792 --> 00:12:15,836 six different timelines. You're creating 244 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,505 Of course I am, Abed. 245 00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:23,886 Ugh. Damn it. One. Troy. 246 00:12:23,886 --> 00:12:26,847 I'm gonna go as fast as I can so I don't miss anything. 247 00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:33,104 You know who I used to call Miss Anything? Eartha Kitt. 248 00:12:33,104 --> 00:12:36,316 What? He totally set me up. 249 00:12:36,316 --> 00:12:38,401 I'm checking on my pies. 250 00:12:40,737 --> 00:12:42,905 Yeah, over here. Bathroom? 251 00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:45,366 Jeff, tell us about your father. 252 00:12:45,366 --> 00:12:47,076 I'm gonna get a drink. 253 00:12:47,076 --> 00:12:49,329 Oh, my God. Are you okay? Ow! 254 00:12:49,329 --> 00:12:52,499 Barely felt it. Let me look in the bathroom. 255 00:13:00,298 --> 00:13:01,924 What the hell? 256 00:13:03,926 --> 00:13:05,804 No! Aah! 257 00:13:05,804 --> 00:13:09,182 Abed, help me stop the bleeding! Call 911. 258 00:13:11,768 --> 00:13:13,520 I'm dying. 259 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,563 I am dying. 260 00:13:18,817 --> 00:13:22,570 Water. Water. Water! 261 00:13:29,035 --> 00:13:30,620 Breathe, Pierce. 262 00:13:35,500 --> 00:13:39,629 No! 263 00:13:41,589 --> 00:13:45,802 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go. 264 00:13:45,802 --> 00:13:47,846 six different timelines. You're creating 265 00:13:47,846 --> 00:13:49,764 Of course I am, Abed. 266 00:13:56,145 --> 00:13:58,897 three, four, five. Abed. Five. One, two, 267 00:13:58,897 --> 00:14:01,401 Know who else was on it? I'm on it. 268 00:14:01,401 --> 00:14:02,985 And do you know what it is? 269 00:14:02,985 --> 00:14:04,612 Everybody give me money. 270 00:14:04,612 --> 00:14:07,782 softens your personality. Wow, that ascot really 271 00:14:07,782 --> 00:14:10,076 I banged Eartha Kitt. 272 00:14:14,455 --> 00:14:15,998 Bathroom? Down the hall. 273 00:14:20,336 --> 00:14:21,713 I'm getting a drink. 274 00:14:21,713 --> 00:14:24,048 Oh, my God. Are you okay? Ow! 275 00:14:24,048 --> 00:14:26,175 Barely felt it. Let me look in the bathroom. 276 00:14:26,175 --> 00:14:28,636 Britta's in the bathroom. Oh, um… 277 00:14:31,848 --> 00:14:34,308 Oh, no, what happened? Minor head wound. 278 00:14:36,269 --> 00:14:38,855 What smells amazing? Oh, my God. 279 00:14:38,855 --> 00:14:41,148 Oh, someone wants pie! 280 00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,734 You make a good nurse. 281 00:14:44,903 --> 00:14:47,906 Oh, my God. 282 00:14:47,906 --> 00:14:50,283 They taste just like regular-size pies. 283 00:14:50,283 --> 00:14:53,453 Happy housewarming. Oh, yay! 284 00:14:53,453 --> 00:14:56,790 Oh, cool. Thanks, Pierce. 285 00:14:56,790 --> 00:15:00,167 I just wanted to say thanks for letting me live with you. 286 00:15:00,167 --> 00:15:04,422 is the only thing I'm good for. I feel like making desserts 287 00:15:04,422 --> 00:15:08,635 make it on my own, like you did. But now it's time to try and 288 00:15:08,635 --> 00:15:11,011 but worry about you, Annie. I can't help 289 00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,346 you should open this. I don't think 290 00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:13,932 What are you talking about? No… What? 291 00:15:13,932 --> 00:15:15,516 You're very important to me. 292 00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:18,603 Crap. I was not supposed to eat your stuff. 293 00:15:18,603 --> 00:15:21,815 We made an agreement. Crap. I was not supposed to say that. 294 00:15:21,815 --> 00:15:24,692 Crap. Okay, cards on the table. I'm really high right now. 295 00:15:24,692 --> 00:15:25,777 Oh. 296 00:15:26,986 --> 00:15:29,447 I'll give you something else. Give me… 297 00:15:29,447 --> 00:15:32,366 A Waterpik. A speedboat. Two Waterpiks. 298 00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:35,495 I can't believe I'm feeding my pies to a drug addict. 299 00:15:35,495 --> 00:15:37,664 You're a pie pusher. Drug addict? 300 00:15:37,664 --> 00:15:40,333 You push pies to get love. 301 00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:43,419 Give it, Pierce! It feels fun! Stop it. 302 00:15:43,419 --> 00:15:48,341 I'm sorry, I just had a weird déjà vu. 303 00:15:48,341 --> 00:15:49,717 You're bad at gift-giving! 304 00:15:49,717 --> 00:15:51,761 What you said about worrying about me, 305 00:15:51,761 --> 00:15:53,888 my dad always said. it's something 306 00:15:53,888 --> 00:15:57,684 I demand to be housewarmed! Shouldn't have brought it up. 307 00:15:57,684 --> 00:15:59,894 Just reminded me of my dad. 308 00:15:59,894 --> 00:16:02,480 A little Make Out 101. Anyway… 309 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:06,442 Less dad talk. And ease up on the bubblegum lip gloss. 310 00:16:06,442 --> 00:16:09,111 No, I really… No, you… 311 00:16:13,032 --> 00:16:14,450 Pizza time. Give me this, 312 00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:16,410 you godless hippie skank! 313 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:20,581 You're a sick, sad old man and I hope you die alone. 314 00:16:20,581 --> 00:16:21,958 Yeah. 315 00:16:24,544 --> 00:16:28,214 in all those other timelines. I wonder what happened 316 00:16:31,551 --> 00:16:34,888 I found a nickel in the hallway. I hope this is the real one. 317 00:16:40,309 --> 00:16:44,522 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go. 318 00:16:44,522 --> 00:16:46,440 six different timelines. You're creating 319 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,234 Of course I am, Abed. 320 00:16:53,447 --> 00:16:54,949 I don't think you should. 321 00:16:56,034 --> 00:16:58,036 Chaos already dominates our lives. 322 00:16:58,036 --> 00:17:00,287 is a raging sea of randomness. The universe 323 00:17:00,287 --> 00:17:03,165 Our job isn't to fight it, but to weather it together 324 00:17:03,165 --> 00:17:05,292 on the raft of life. A raft held together 325 00:17:05,292 --> 00:17:07,294 by those few rare beautiful things 326 00:17:07,294 --> 00:17:10,297 that we know to be predictable. Ropes? Vines. 327 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:12,216 Vines? Let him finish! 328 00:17:12,216 --> 00:17:15,219 Us. It won't matter what happens to us 329 00:17:15,219 --> 00:17:18,264 each other's flaws and virtues. as long as we accept 330 00:17:18,264 --> 00:17:20,600 Shirley will be giving. Annie will be driven. 331 00:17:20,600 --> 00:17:23,811 Britta's sort of a wild card. Pierce won't apologize. 332 00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:26,814 a conniving son of a bitch. Jeff will forever remain 333 00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:28,691 Abed! Six sides to this die 334 00:17:28,691 --> 00:17:30,735 and seven of us. He devised a system 335 00:17:30,735 --> 00:17:32,570 by which he never gets the pizza. 336 00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:36,032 Really? Dang, man. Jeff, you crafty jackrabbit. 337 00:17:36,032 --> 00:17:37,408 Pretty low, dude. 338 00:17:37,408 --> 00:17:40,286 It's called friendship. Look it up. Encarta it. 339 00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:43,414 I think we just found our pizza-getter. 340 00:17:43,414 --> 00:17:45,165 We did. Yes, Jeffrey. 341 00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:48,127 Oh, like it matters who goes. 342 00:17:49,295 --> 00:17:51,839 What's so funny? Karma. 343 00:17:53,049 --> 00:17:54,968 That guy sucks harder than the toilet 344 00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:56,135 in an airplane bathroom. 345 00:17:56,135 --> 00:17:59,013 Airplane bathroom… Oh, my pies. 346 00:18:02,349 --> 00:18:05,853 To put on the red light ♪ ♪ You don't have 347 00:18:13,569 --> 00:18:15,279 Sing, girls! 348 00:18:15,279 --> 00:18:18,074 You should move here. I really love your place. 349 00:18:24,455 --> 00:18:26,206 Come on, Troy. 350 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:28,751 Or if it is right d d If it's wrong 351 00:18:35,716 --> 00:18:39,137 when I leave you alone, huh? You guys see what happens 352 00:18:49,229 --> 00:18:50,773 Go, Troy! 353 00:18:58,865 --> 00:19:02,368 May he rest in Pierce. To Pierce. 354 00:19:04,495 --> 00:19:06,330 you've had enough? Don't you think 355 00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:08,499 Of you. 356 00:19:08,499 --> 00:19:11,502 I've been thinking about that night. One thing is clear. 357 00:19:11,502 --> 00:19:13,629 This is the darkest, most terrible timeline. 358 00:19:13,629 --> 00:19:16,423 the timeline crap, Abed! Enough with 359 00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:19,927 and died. Shirley's a drunk. Pierce got shot in the leg 360 00:19:19,927 --> 00:19:21,929 Annie's locked in a mental ward 361 00:19:21,929 --> 00:19:23,931 because her guilt drove her insane. 362 00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:26,059 Jeff lost an arm in the fire. 363 00:19:26,059 --> 00:19:29,395 Troy lost his larynx because for some dumb reason, 364 00:19:29,395 --> 00:19:32,523 he tried to destroy a flaming troll doll by eating it. 365 00:19:32,523 --> 00:19:35,735 anything about trolls. You don't understand 366 00:19:35,735 --> 00:19:38,654 Life has gone to hell, Abed. 367 00:19:38,654 --> 00:19:41,574 Look at us. Look at me! This is real. 368 00:19:41,574 --> 00:19:44,827 Britta, you put one wash-away blue streak in your hair, 369 00:19:44,827 --> 00:19:46,746 and I lost an arm. 370 00:19:46,746 --> 00:19:50,124 All because Jeff rolled a one. Exactly. Life got dark. 371 00:19:50,124 --> 00:19:53,127 It's mine. I love how this is my fault. 372 00:19:53,127 --> 00:19:56,172 I've run through that night. I come back to one thought: 373 00:19:56,172 --> 00:19:58,841 I should've caught the die and not let you roll it. 374 00:19:58,841 --> 00:20:01,010 I failed to do that and we all suffered. 375 00:20:01,010 --> 00:20:03,012 make it up to you. But I'm gonna 376 00:20:04,722 --> 00:20:07,225 This is the darkest timeline. What is this? 377 00:20:07,225 --> 00:20:11,020 I propose we commit to evil. I made goatees out of felt. 378 00:20:11,020 --> 00:20:14,857 you're able to grow your own. Put them on until 379 00:20:14,857 --> 00:20:16,943 From now on, I am evil Abed. 380 00:20:16,943 --> 00:20:20,196 and we have but one evil goal: We're the evil study group 381 00:20:20,196 --> 00:20:21,697 Return to the prime timeline 382 00:20:21,697 --> 00:20:23,866 the one that I stopped you from rolling that die. 383 00:20:23,866 --> 00:20:28,246 ourselves and reclaim our lives. Destroy the good versions of 384 00:20:28,246 --> 00:20:30,456 Evil Abed, as evil Jeff, 385 00:20:30,456 --> 00:20:32,666 fewer punches with you? am I allowed to pull 386 00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:34,501 Certainly. I hate you! 387 00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,254 with your sci-fi crap! Shut up 388 00:20:36,254 --> 00:20:40,424 and you're making fake beards! I lost my damn arm, 389 00:20:40,424 --> 00:20:42,342 Goatees. 390 00:21:00,111 --> 00:21:03,072 peppered our biscuits. Those Blorgons 391 00:21:03,072 --> 00:21:06,117 I don't know. What's wrong? 392 00:21:06,117 --> 00:21:08,202 we got out just in space. 393 00:21:08,202 --> 00:21:11,080 right into that one. I certainly walked 394 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:12,581 I guess nothing.