A Critical Analysis "Who Indeed:
Who's the Boss?" of Television's
The professor is the author.
We got him? I know.
So, what are you taking, Jeff?
While you are expanding your minds and souls,
I'll be expanding my liver in Italian Wine Tasting.
I'm taking that one too.
How do you say "ha-ha" in Italian?
Come on, it'll be fun. I'll look it up.
I can give you pointers.
a top-tier law firm. I was a lawyer at
When I wasn't shielding the wealthy,
their finest wines. I was drinking
You have your own wine cellar? Pierce does.
And it's, "Ha-ha!"
It's what's in it that counts. Anyone can have a cellar.
Pierce's has a special gym with swings and saddles.
Uh, we don't… We don't discuss the special gym.
Attention, please. Attention, please.
All elective forms must be in by the end of the day.
Oh, nice job, Manuel.
there's still plenty of room And good news,
in my PA Announcements class.
Just 10 bucks an hour.
To run out of steam ♪ d Give me the hope
It can be here ♪ d Somebody said
Tied up dead in a year ♪ d We could be roped up
You're taking this too? Hell, yeah.
You got drunk ladies, fancy bathrooms
and a room full of free coats.
Sorry I'm late, man.
I brought you a present.
your chin dimple filled in. Oh. From before
Uh, excuse me.
So sorry. Hm.
Whoa.
with the nice Asian pair? Who is the dumpling
That's the first time sexism has made me hungry,
but she is something.
to let her see me nude. I fear I may have
I might have to take a shot myself.
Why would a woman What's so funny?
want a Plymouth on blocks
when she could have a Testarossa with a six-speed stick?
is ribbed for her pleasure. Because my stick
I think those are wrinkles. Let that breathe.
Lingering scent, full body,
perfect nose. Very nice wine.
I was talking about you. Jeff Winger.
Wu Mei Hong Long.
Oh, what a lovely name for a lovely…
Uh… Not interested.
Please take weird haircut, stupid grin
another dog's ass. and go sniff
The red dragon ordered Heh-heh.
a Number 37 with a side of pork-fried snap.
When you get up close, she's very homely.
This is gonna be fun.
we choose stage names. I can't wait till
Which do you think is better,
Trevor St. McGoodbody or David?
Don't think you have to worry about that.
about introspection. This class is
Drag.
Less of a drag.
Quiet!
Form a trust circle around me and sit on the floor.
It's just a circle. A trust circle?
It's a circle. Sit down.
Acting is revealing and expression.
we become visible to each other, When we release pain,
and that is an actor's job.
pretending to be other people. That and, you know,
Let's start with you.
Access and share with us
and painful memory. a profoundly deep
I'm on the playground.
Stop taunting me.
I just want to go on the swings!
is a treasure trove of pain. Good. Early childhood
That happened this morning.
You're up.
Me? Um…
I don't think…
I don't want you to think.
Feel. Go back.
Something hurt you. Dig in, emotilize.
Um…
my high school football team. I was captain of
It was very hard being popular.
What a loser.
Okay, great. Next person.
I've always felt somehow ignored,
almost invisible.
Every time I go to say something, somebody…
My uncle put his finger in my no-no.
What? Oh, my God.
This. This is where acting begins.
Welcome to A Critical Analysis of Who's the Boss?
Peter Sheffield, I am Professor
with a simple question: and I'd like to begin
Who was the boss?
Yes. Angela.
Oh, well, class dismissed.
No, calm down. Calm down.
I'm sorry, um, Mr…? Abed.
The answer is not quite that simple, Mr. Abed.
Few are.
Now, if everyone could please turn to page 12 in my book.
Ahem, loser.
You have to finish that by tomorrow?
but it's a page-turner. Yeah,
I'm on the chapter where
he traces Tony Micelli's genealogy to Caesar.
Better than wine tasting with Pierce.
He refused pinot noir
it was French for "black penis." because he thought
And he's late, again. It's not your fault.
Thank you.
Oh, he'll be here.
to say something offensive. He wouldn't miss a chance
He's gonna run out of ways to shock people.
Everybody, this is Wu Mei,
and we're getting married.
But it's not gonna be today.
to that beautiful young thing? So you're getting married
Well, uh, stranger things have happened.
No. No, they haven't.
You said you guys just met?
wine-tasting class, Yesterday after
her breasts were larger I mentioned that
and we just got to talking. than most Asian women,
has been to China many times. Turns out Pierce
too dangerous for Mexico. To get fireworks
No. I go to visit my factory.
number-one towelette in Asia. Hawthorne Wipes are the
After a few minutes,
meant to be together forever. we both just knew we were
Or at least until she gets heavy.
And now we must leave you.
Many plans to make. Yes, yes, big plans.
Well, what are we gonna do?
Plan an engagement party.
Are you out of your mind? This is a scam.
She's after his money or a green card.
They seem to like each other.
of his wives after a month. Pierce married three
Maybe he's just a romantic.
understand romance. Not that you would
Don't preach to me about romance.
in a hot air balloon. I had a three-way
Guess I'll do it myself. Fine.
Mm-hm. Ready to go?
really worked up. Boy, he seems
Hey, don't take on his pain. Tend your own garden.
I'll see you in class.
What's going on? Oh, um…
a painful experience I didn't have
to share in acting class,
tried to touch my butt. so I said my uncle
Helps her pretend to be healthy. Britta's attracted to pain.
Yeah. Really?
Troy? I hadn't noticed.
Nothing good can come of this. Hm?
Yeah.
I'll have to think hard about how to defuse the situation.
No, Uncle Lucius, I don't wanna play
in the laundry room!
My emotions! My emotions!
That was really beautiful. Actors dismissed.
Uh, for homework,
drink a glass of cognac in a bathtub.
Troy, I feel like I'm seeing a whole different side of you.
so much darkness. There's just
And my soul is darkening,
at my kidneys, and… and my heart is mad
My mouth…
See you tomorrow.
Um, hello. Oh, hi.
I'm glad you could come.
Please sit. Okay.
I felt like we got off on the wrong foot yesterday,
and I wanted to offer you my other foot.
how happy I am for you both. First, let me say
Your parents must be so excited.
Are they coming to the wedding? Oh, they would not miss it.
the customary shark's fin soup, My mother will make
and my father will get drunk and make bad impression of Borat.
Oh, so your parents don't mind having a son-in-law
roughly their age?
a beautiful, wise man, No. Pierce is
very gentle soul.
Let me tell you that I am a lawyer,
any help at all so if you need
navigating the whole green card, immigration hassle…
I am dual citizen already.
Oh. Well, if you'd like me to look at the prenup…
I assume you have one.
Yes, but my father's lawyers will take care of this.
After all, we must protect our family fortune.
Hm. Now I'm stumped. Excuse me?
Uh… It was…
That means it was very nice talking to you.
Oh. Okay, if you say so.
Okay. Bye. Okay, goodbye.
Why were you grilling her?
Listen, I'm gonna bust into her apartment.
Do you have any grappling hooks?
found his soul mate. Maybe Pierce
How can you say those things without any irony?
That's why they call me irony-free Annie.
that's not what they call you. Mm, trust me,
Yes? Oh.
What can I do for you? Mr. Abed.
I finished your book, professor.
I've been watching Who's the Boss?
you might've overlooked. There's something
will you look at my wall? Mr. Abed,
What do you see? Mm-hm.
Photographs. Of what?
You. With whom?
Tony Danza, Judith Light,
Who's the Boss caterer Alyssa Milano,
Gordon "Giddy-up" Galligan.
I have studied this show, Mr. Abed.
I am not a groupie, I am not a fan,
I am an academic.
When I ask the question, "Who's the boss?"
it is a rhetorical question.
When I ask the question beyond the question,
I really think it's Angela, "What is a boss?"…
because if it's a boss you're looking at…
Enough!
I would like you to leave. My mind is open,
as open as the door to Mona's bedroom.
It's a shame yours isn't. I beg your pardon?
I just got a wonderful idea. You know,
Why don't you teach the next class?
your open mind with everybody. That way you can share
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
Pew!
I couldn't be more touched
an engagement party. you threw us
You said if we didn't, you'd slash our tires.
She is funny. Like Oprah.
Oprah's not a comedienne.
and you are like Oprah. No, you are funny,
What? Yeah.
Thank you. Pierce.
my sincere congratulations. I'd like to offer
you can stand in this life, It's hard to find people
let alone someone willing to stomach
and present incontinence. your imminent dementia
I just hope she can satisfy me. Thank you, Jeff.
I'm like an insatiable baboon in the bedroom.
You're a baboon everywhere. Don't sell yourself short.
Seems like yesterday me and Abed dined and ditched here.
Bah. What is this? Here, hold this.
in case the staff's racist. I carry spare apps
Where's a napkin? Ah, here you go.
Oh, thanks.
Check that out.
and the hot red dragon. Hats off to Pierce
Why do you keep calling her that?
"Hong Long" means "red dragon."
That's her middle name.
the last name first. In China, they put
they're nuts over there. I mean,
Thank you all for coming. I know it seems fast,
the right person, you know. but when you find
the right person seven times. I know because I've found
but stick to the crappy stuff. So the drinks are on me,
I don't wanna get cornholed on the bar tab.
throw around a term like that. Pierce, you can't just
Cornhole. Cornhole. Cornhole.
Pierce, Troy was molested.
Cool.
Troy, we didn't know.
to recommend a support group? Troy, do you need me
Hey, he's not a victim. You're a survivor.
Yeah, about that.
I wasn't so much "molested"
as much as I "made it up."
What?
We're gonna laugh so hard about this later.
I'd like to propose a toast.
Wu Mei Hong Long, better known as Mei Hong Long Wu,
not a Greendale student, is not only
for Red Dragon Wipes, she works
the number-two wipe in Asia,
a takeover of Hawthorne Wipes. currently attempting
raise your glasses, So please,
the clutches of a corporate spy. to saving Pierce from
And to me for being attractive enough
under normal circumstances. to get a girl like her
Very impressive, Veronica Mars. You learned how to use Google.
And you learned to fight your desire for me.
Oh, stick it. You suck.
Wait, wait, wait.
Record scratch app.
Where'd everybody go?
Most people went home.
The rest went with Chang to have a ketchup fight.
I better get back there before he starts playing monkey drop.
Don't ask.
Do you wanna come? Oh, uh…
anywhere with Judas Winger? Why would I wanna go
You should thank me. You're mad?
Ruining my relationship? For what?
What relationship?
and the entire thing was a lie. You just met the woman,
She was just using you to get your company.
to get her company in the sack. And I was just using her
People use each other, Jeff.
aren't feelings that go with it. It doesn't mean that there
I liked her.
She was busty.
I was trying to help you. I thought we had something.
I think what you were trying to do
no woman could want me. is prove that
Oh, you're here.
I'm really sorry. Look, Britta,
Troy, kissing you was a mistake. It will never happen again.
Good.
Before my ex-boyfriend Pablo
was arrested for forging church relics,
of only being attracted he accused me
to a certain kind of guy.
to understand him, though. It was hard
on paint thinners. He was huffed up
Well, maybe someday you'll fall for someone who's healthy.
other than his irrational fear Someone who,
of automatic toilets, is normal.
Who would like to begin today?
I would.
With a confession.
his finger in my plop-plop. My uncle never stuck
I'm bummed about it too. I know,
I'm sorry.
I wanna fit in with you guys. I wanna be interesting.
I wanna be able to be an actor.
The pain of not having enough pain
is still pain, young man.
an easy resolution, but… That may sound like
we're not writers.
We're actors.
Story doesn't matter here.
All that matters is our time…
in the spotlight.
And so, by all known definitions of the word "boss,"
I.e., one with authority over another,
in nine of 11 known possible fields
in which one might teach, employ, guide,
and/or otherwise hold dominion, oversee,
the empirically provable answer
"who's the boss?" is… to the question
Angela Bower.
Class dismissed.
Class dismissed!
There's a path you take and a path untaken.
The choice is up to you, my friend.
I wonder why Jeff and Abed didn't show.
I don't know about Abed,
found another life to destroy. but I'm sure Jeff just
about studying acting? Still thinking
I'm auditioning for Garrity's
of Fiddler on the Roof. all-black production
It's called Fiddla Please.
I asked her to come. What's she doing here?
I was thinking maybe you two were meant to be together.
You're both rude, deceitful and racist,
and you both come from moist-wipe dynasties.
I think having that much in common
justifies at least one real date.
I guess we could go to dinner.
You're dressing slutty. You're paying.
Fine.
How about Mexican? How about Thai?
Chinese Mexicans. They're like
Heh. So true. Hm.
an Old Testament beat. Someone drop
Dreidels.