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A Critical Analysis
"Who Indeed:

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00:00:01,876 --> 00:00:03,962
Who's the Boss?"
of Television's

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The professor is the author.

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We got him?
I know.

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So, what are you taking,
Jeff?

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While you are expanding
your minds and souls,

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I'll be expanding my liver
in Italian Wine Tasting.

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I'm taking that one too.

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How do you say "ha-ha"
in Italian?

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Come on, it'll be fun.
I'll look it up.

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I can give you pointers.

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a top-tier law firm.
I was a lawyer at

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When I wasn't shielding
the wealthy,

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their finest wines.
I was drinking

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You have your own wine cellar?
Pierce does.

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And it's, "Ha-ha!"

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It's what's in it that counts.
Anyone can have a cellar.

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Pierce's has a special gym
with swings and saddles.

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Uh, we don't… We don't discuss
the special gym.

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Attention, please.
Attention, please.

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All elective forms must be in
by the end of the day.

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Oh, nice job, Manuel.

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there's still plenty of room
And good news,

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in my PA Announcements class.

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Just 10 bucks an hour.

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To run out of steam ♪
d Give me the hope

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It can be here ♪
d Somebody said

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Tied up dead in a year ♪
d We could be roped up

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You're taking this too?
Hell, yeah.

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You got drunk ladies,
fancy bathrooms

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and a room full
of free coats.

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Sorry I'm late, man.

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I brought you a present.

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your chin dimple filled in.
Oh. From before

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Uh, excuse me.

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So sorry.
Hm.

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Whoa.

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with the nice Asian pair?
Who is the dumpling

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That's the first time sexism
has made me hungry,

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but she is something.

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to let her see me nude.
I fear I may have

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I might have to take
a shot myself.

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Why would a woman
What's so funny?

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want a Plymouth on blocks

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when she could have a Testarossa
with a six-speed stick?

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is ribbed for her pleasure.
Because my stick

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I think those are wrinkles.
Let that breathe.

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Lingering scent, full body,

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perfect nose.
Very nice wine.

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I was talking about you.
Jeff Winger.

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Wu Mei Hong Long.

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Oh, what a lovely name
for a lovely…

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Uh… Not interested.

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Please take weird haircut,
stupid grin

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another dog's ass.
and go sniff

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The red dragon ordered
Heh-heh.

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a Number 37 with a side
of pork-fried snap.

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When you get up close,
she's very homely.

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This is gonna be fun.

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we choose stage names.
I can't wait till

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Which do you think
is better,

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Trevor St. McGoodbody
or David?

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Don't think you have
to worry about that.

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about introspection.
This class is

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Drag.

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Less of a drag.

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Quiet!

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Form a trust circle around me
and sit on the floor.

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It's just a circle.
A trust circle?

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It's a circle. Sit down.

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Acting is revealing
and expression.

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we become visible to each other,
When we release pain,

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and that is an actor's job.

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pretending to be other people.
That and, you know,

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Let's start with you.

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Access and share with us

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and painful memory.
a profoundly deep

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I'm on the playground.

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Stop taunting me.

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I just want to go
on the swings!

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is a treasure trove of pain.
Good. Early childhood

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That happened this morning.

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You're up.

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Me? Um…

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I don't think…

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I don't want you to think.

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Feel. Go back.

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Something hurt you.
Dig in, emotilize.

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Um…

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my high school football team.
I was captain of

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It was very hard
being popular.

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What a loser.

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Okay, great. Next person.

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I've always felt
somehow ignored,

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almost invisible.

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Every time I go to say
something, somebody…

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My uncle put his finger
in my no-no.

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What? Oh, my God.

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This. This is where
acting begins.

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Welcome to A Critical Analysis
of Who's the Boss?

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Peter Sheffield,
I am Professor

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with a simple question:
and I'd like to begin

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Who was the boss?

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Yes.
Angela.

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Oh, well, class dismissed.

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No, calm down. Calm down.

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I'm sorry, um, Mr…?
Abed.

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The answer is not quite
that simple, Mr. Abed.

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Few are.

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Now, if everyone could please
turn to page 12 in my book.

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Ahem, loser.

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You have to finish
that by tomorrow?

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but it's a page-turner.
Yeah,

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I'm on the chapter
where

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he traces Tony Micelli's
genealogy to Caesar.

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Better than wine tasting
with Pierce.

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He refused pinot noir

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it was French for "black penis."
because he thought

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And he's late, again.
It's not your fault.

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It's not your fault.

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Thank you.

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Oh, he'll be here.

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to say something offensive.
He wouldn't miss a chance

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He's gonna run out of ways
to shock people.

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Everybody, this is Wu Mei,

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and we're getting married.

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But it's not gonna be today.

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to that beautiful young thing?
So you're getting married

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Well, uh, stranger things
have happened.

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No. No, they haven't.

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You said you guys
just met?

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wine-tasting class,
Yesterday after

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her breasts were larger
I mentioned that

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and we just got to talking.
than most Asian women,

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has been to China many times.
Turns out Pierce

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too dangerous for Mexico.
To get fireworks

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No. I go to visit my factory.

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number-one towelette in Asia.
Hawthorne Wipes are the

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After a few minutes,

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meant to be together forever.
we both just knew we were

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Or at least until
she gets heavy.

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And now we must leave you.

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Many plans to make.
Yes, yes, big plans.

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Well, what are we gonna do?

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Plan an engagement party.

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Are you out of your mind?
This is a scam.

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She's after his money
or a green card.

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They seem to like
each other.

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of his wives after a month.
Pierce married three

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Maybe he's just a romantic.

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understand romance.
Not that you would

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Don't preach to me
about romance.

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in a hot air balloon.
I had a three-way

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Guess I'll do it myself.
Fine.

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Mm-hm.
Ready to go?

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really worked up.
Boy, he seems

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Hey, don't take on his pain.
Tend your own garden.

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I'll see you in class.

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What's going on?
Oh, um…

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a painful experience
I didn't have

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to share in acting class,

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tried to touch my butt.
so I said my uncle

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Helps her pretend to be healthy.
Britta's attracted to pain.

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Yeah.
Really?

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Troy?
I hadn't noticed.

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Nothing good can come of this.
Hm?

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Yeah.

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I'll have to think hard about
how to defuse the situation.

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No, Uncle Lucius,
I don't wanna play

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in the laundry room!

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My emotions! My emotions!

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That was really beautiful.
Actors dismissed.

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Uh, for homework,

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drink a glass of cognac
in a bathtub.

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Troy, I feel like I'm seeing
a whole different side of you.

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so much darkness.
There's just

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And my soul is darkening,

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at my kidneys, and…
and my heart is mad

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My mouth…

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See you tomorrow.

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Um, hello.
Oh, hi.

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I'm glad you could come.

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Please sit.
Okay.

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I felt like we got off
on the wrong foot yesterday,

185
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:08,006
and I wanted to offer you
my other foot.

186
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how happy I am for you both.
First, let me say

187
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Your parents must be
so excited.

188
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Are they coming to the wedding?
Oh, they would not miss it.

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the customary shark's fin soup,
My mother will make

190
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:23,563
and my father will get drunk and
make bad impression of Borat.

191
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,066
Oh, so your parents don't mind
having a son-in-law

192
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roughly their age?

193
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a beautiful, wise man,
No. Pierce is

194
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very gentle soul.

195
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Let me tell you that
I am a lawyer,

196
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:37,994
any help at all
so if you need

197
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navigating the whole green card,
immigration hassle…

198
00:09:40,872 --> 00:09:42,957
I am dual citizen already.

199
00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:46,044
Oh. Well, if you'd like me
to look at the prenup…

200
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,754
I assume you have one.

201
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,673
Yes, but my father's lawyers
will take care of this.

202
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:54,468
After all, we must protect
our family fortune.

203
00:09:54,468 --> 00:09:58,598
Hm. Now I'm stumped.
Excuse me?

204
00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,933
Uh… It was…

205
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,476
That means it was very nice
talking to you.

206
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,062
Oh. Okay, if you say so.

207
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:06,564
Okay. Bye.
Okay, goodbye.

208
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,360
Why were you grilling her?

209
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:13,696
Listen, I'm gonna bust
into her apartment.

210
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:14,989
Do you have any
grappling hooks?

211
00:10:14,989 --> 00:10:16,741
found his soul mate.
Maybe Pierce

212
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,493
How can you say those things
without any irony?

213
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:21,704
That's why they call me
irony-free Annie.

214
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,873
that's not what they call you.
Mm, trust me,

215
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,258
Yes? Oh.

216
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:35,051
What can I do for you?
Mr. Abed.

217
00:10:35,051 --> 00:10:36,719
I finished your book,
professor.

218
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,470
I've been watching
Who's the Boss?

219
00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:40,598
you might've overlooked.
There's something

220
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:43,393
will you look at my wall?
Mr. Abed,

221
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,936
What do you see?
Mm-hm.

222
00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,146
Photographs.
Of what?

223
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,272
You.
With whom?

224
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,606
Tony Danza, Judith Light,

225
00:10:48,606 --> 00:10:50,566
Who's the Boss caterer
Alyssa Milano,

226
00:10:50,566 --> 00:10:52,193
Gordon "Giddy-up" Galligan.

227
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:55,196
I have studied this show,
Mr. Abed.

228
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:58,574
I am not a groupie,
I am not a fan,

229
00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:01,244
I am an academic.

230
00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:03,704
When I ask the question,
"Who's the boss?"

231
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,248
it is a rhetorical question.

232
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,041
When I ask the question beyond
the question,

233
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,627
I really think it's Angela,
"What is a boss?"…

234
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,130
because if it's a boss
you're looking at…

235
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:13,589
Enough!

236
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:16,134
I would like you to leave.
My mind is open,

237
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,052
as open as the door
to Mona's bedroom.

238
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:21,222
It's a shame yours isn't.
I beg your pardon?

239
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:24,976
I just got a wonderful idea.
You know,

240
00:11:24,976 --> 00:11:28,229
Why don't you teach
the next class?

241
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:32,150
your open mind with everybody.
That way you can share

242
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,693
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

243
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,362
Pew!

244
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:38,572
I couldn't be more touched

245
00:11:38,572 --> 00:11:40,116
an engagement party.
you threw us

246
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,035
You said if we didn't,
you'd slash our tires.

247
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,621
She is funny. Like Oprah.

248
00:11:45,621 --> 00:11:47,207
Oprah's not a comedienne.

249
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:51,461
and you are like Oprah.
No, you are funny,

250
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,838
What?
Yeah.

251
00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,340
Thank you.
Pierce.

252
00:11:55,340 --> 00:11:57,549
my sincere congratulations.
I'd like to offer

253
00:11:57,549 --> 00:12:00,594
you can stand in this life,
It's hard to find people

254
00:12:00,594 --> 00:12:02,430
let alone someone
willing to stomach

255
00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,891
and present incontinence.
your imminent dementia

256
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:07,935
I just hope she can satisfy me.
Thank you, Jeff.

257
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,855
I'm like an insatiable baboon
in the bedroom.

258
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:14,150
You're a baboon everywhere.
Don't sell yourself short.

259
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:20,156
Seems like yesterday me and
Abed dined and ditched here.

260
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:28,122
Bah. What is this?
Here, hold this.

261
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,624
in case the staff's racist.
I carry spare apps

262
00:12:30,624 --> 00:12:33,336
Where's a napkin?
Ah, here you go.

263
00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,171
Oh, thanks.

264
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,506
Check that out.

265
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:39,300
and the hot red dragon.
Hats off to Pierce

266
00:12:39,300 --> 00:12:40,927
Why do you keep calling
her that?

267
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,803
"Hong Long" means
"red dragon."

268
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:44,013
That's her middle name.

269
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,015
the last name first.
In China, they put

270
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,184
they're nuts over there.
I mean,

271
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:56,901
Thank you all for coming.
I know it seems fast,

272
00:12:56,901 --> 00:12:59,320
the right person, you know.
but when you find

273
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:02,031
the right person seven times.
I know because I've found

274
00:13:02,031 --> 00:13:04,992
but stick to the crappy stuff.
So the drinks are on me,

275
00:13:04,992 --> 00:13:07,245
I don't wanna get cornholed
on the bar tab.

276
00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:11,291
throw around a term like that.
Pierce, you can't just

277
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:15,253
Cornhole. Cornhole.
Cornhole.

278
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:17,464
Pierce, Troy was molested.

279
00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,340
Cool.

280
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,137
Troy, we didn't know.

281
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,639
to recommend a support group?
Troy, do you need me

282
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:29,934
Hey, he's not a victim.
You're a survivor.

283
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:38,692
Yeah, about that.

284
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:41,779
I wasn't so much "molested"

285
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,616
as much as I "made it up."

286
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:46,033
What?

287
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:48,786
We're gonna laugh so hard
about this later.

288
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:50,871
I'd like to propose a toast.

289
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:55,960
Wu Mei Hong Long, better known
as Mei Hong Long Wu,

290
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:59,005
not a Greendale student,
is not only

291
00:13:59,005 --> 00:14:01,424
for Red Dragon Wipes,
she works

292
00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:04,260
the number-two wipe in Asia,

293
00:14:04,260 --> 00:14:07,805
a takeover of Hawthorne Wipes.
currently attempting

294
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:09,849
raise your glasses,
So please,

295
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:13,269
the clutches of a corporate spy.
to saving Pierce from

296
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,771
And to me for being
attractive enough

297
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:20,693
under normal circumstances.
to get a girl like her

298
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:24,197
Very impressive, Veronica Mars.
You learned how to use Google.

299
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,491
And you learned to fight
your desire for me.

300
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:29,869
Oh, stick it. You suck.

301
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:32,913
Wait, wait, wait.

302
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,669
Record scratch app.

303
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,721
Where'd everybody go?

304
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,139
Most people went home.

305
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,766
The rest went with Chang
to have a ketchup fight.

306
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:56,145
I better get back there before
he starts playing monkey drop.

307
00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,730
Don't ask.

308
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,940
Do you wanna come?
Oh, uh…

309
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,694
anywhere with Judas Winger?
Why would I wanna go

310
00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:04,487
You should thank me.
You're mad?

311
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:07,323
Ruining my relationship?
For what?

312
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,866
What relationship?

313
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,202
and the entire thing was a lie.
You just met the woman,

314
00:15:11,202 --> 00:15:13,287
She was just using you
to get your company.

315
00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,915
to get her company in the sack.
And I was just using her

316
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,000
People use each other,
Jeff.

317
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,087
aren't feelings that go with it.
It doesn't mean that there

318
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,755
I liked her.

319
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,466
She was busty.

320
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:28,636
I was trying to help you.
I thought we had something.

321
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:30,263
I think what you were
trying to do

322
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:32,890
no woman could want me.
is prove that

323
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,152
Oh, you're here.

324
00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:47,947
I'm really sorry.
Look, Britta,

325
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,200
Troy, kissing you was a mistake.
It will never happen again.

326
00:15:52,744 --> 00:15:53,953
Good.

327
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,622
Before my ex-boyfriend Pablo

328
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,582
was arrested for forging
church relics,

329
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,584
of only being attracted
he accused me

330
00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,294
to a certain kind of guy.

331
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,421
to understand him, though.
It was hard

332
00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:05,423
on paint thinners.
He was huffed up

333
00:16:05,423 --> 00:16:08,968
Well, maybe someday you'll fall
for someone who's healthy.

334
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,721
other than his irrational fear
Someone who,

335
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:15,516
of automatic toilets,
is normal.

336
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:20,062
Who would like to begin today?

337
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,106
I would.

338
00:16:22,106 --> 00:16:23,733
With a confession.

339
00:16:23,733 --> 00:16:26,736
his finger in my plop-plop.
My uncle never stuck

340
00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:30,197
I'm bummed about it too.
I know,

341
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,865
I'm sorry.

342
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:36,162
I wanna fit in with you guys.
I wanna be interesting.

343
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,373
I wanna be able to be
an actor.

344
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:52,011
The pain of not having
enough pain

345
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,096
is still pain, young man.

346
00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:58,225
an easy resolution, but…
That may sound like

347
00:16:58,225 --> 00:16:59,852
we're not writers.

348
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,605
We're actors.

349
00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,151
Story doesn't matter here.

350
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:13,907
All that matters
is our time…

351
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,911
in the spotlight.

352
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:20,665
And so, by all known definitions
of the word "boss,"

353
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:22,583
I.e., one with authority
over another,

354
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,502
in nine of 11
known possible fields

355
00:17:24,502 --> 00:17:27,463
in which one might teach,
employ, guide,

356
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,549
and/or otherwise hold dominion,
oversee,

357
00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,300
the empirically
provable answer

358
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:35,221
"who's the boss?" is…
to the question

359
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,809
Angela Bower.

360
00:17:49,652 --> 00:17:51,904
Class dismissed.

361
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:02,790
Class dismissed!

362
00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:17,304
There's a path you take
and a path untaken.

363
00:18:18,806 --> 00:18:22,226
The choice is up to you,
my friend.

364
00:18:47,585 --> 00:18:50,546
I wonder why Jeff and Abed
didn't show.

365
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,799
I don't know about Abed,

366
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:55,509
found another life to destroy.
but I'm sure Jeff just

367
00:18:55,509 --> 00:18:57,428
about studying acting?
Still thinking

368
00:18:57,428 --> 00:18:59,221
I'm auditioning
for Garrity's

369
00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:01,515
of Fiddler on the Roof.
all-black production

370
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:03,976
It's called Fiddla Please.

371
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,814
I asked her to come.
What's she doing here?

372
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,900
I was thinking maybe you two
were meant to be together.

373
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:13,152
You're both rude,
deceitful and racist,

374
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,113
and you both come
from moist-wipe dynasties.

375
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,907
I think having
that much in common

376
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:19,659
justifies at least
one real date.

377
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,244
I guess we could go to dinner.

378
00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:24,246
You're dressing slutty.
You're paying.

379
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,414
Fine.

380
00:19:25,414 --> 00:19:28,083
How about Mexican?
How about Thai?

381
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,085
Chinese Mexicans.
They're like

382
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:32,505
Heh. So true.
Hm.

383
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,908
an Old Testament beat.
Someone drop

384
00:20:04,912 --> 00:20:06,539
Dreidels.