1 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,690 Annie, two gifts? Thank you. 2 00:00:06,982 --> 00:00:08,191 I wanted to get a doll, 3 00:00:08,483 --> 00:00:10,527 and since the father might be Andre or Chang, 4 00:00:10,819 --> 00:00:13,071 I wanted all ethnic bases covered. 5 00:00:13,363 --> 00:00:16,992 So there's a little African-American girl... 6 00:00:19,328 --> 00:00:21,622 and a letter from the manufacturer 7 00:00:21,913 --> 00:00:23,582 promising to expand their selection. 8 00:00:23,874 --> 00:00:27,085 Oh, is everyone enjoying their egg rolls and/or mieliepap, 9 00:00:27,377 --> 00:00:30,464 a traditional maize porridge popular in Ghana? 10 00:00:30,756 --> 00:00:32,883 Annie, baby showers can be race neutral. 11 00:00:33,175 --> 00:00:35,177 Yes, thank you for trying to be inclusive, 12 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:39,598 but regardless of any biological happenstance, 13 00:00:39,890 --> 00:00:41,642 this baby'll be raised by Andre and I. 14 00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:44,144 That's right. I seem to recall a story 15 00:00:44,436 --> 00:00:45,729 about a man named Joseph 16 00:00:46,021 --> 00:00:47,856 who raised a baby that wasn't his. 17 00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,358 History's greatest chump. 18 00:00:50,942 --> 00:00:52,903 We're talking about Joe Kennedy, right? 19 00:00:53,195 --> 00:00:55,656 It's cool. If it's mine, I'll be a lovable uncle. 20 00:00:55,947 --> 00:00:58,033 Okay, a creepy uncle, final offer. 21 00:00:58,325 --> 00:00:59,993 From me and Troy. 22 00:01:00,285 --> 00:01:02,829 When your child's a scavenger of the nuclear wasteland, 23 00:01:03,121 --> 00:01:04,581 water will be worth gold. 24 00:01:04,873 --> 00:01:06,667 We wanted to get a sawed-off shotgun, 25 00:01:06,958 --> 00:01:09,586 but those were pretty expensive already. 26 00:01:09,878 --> 00:01:11,213 You people eat this? 27 00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:13,048 I've never seen that in my life. 28 00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:15,300 You really shouldn't say "you people." 29 00:01:15,592 --> 00:01:18,470 Pierce was having trouble quitting offensive phrases. 30 00:01:18,762 --> 00:01:20,430 We've created a bargaining system. 31 00:01:20,722 --> 00:01:23,642 We traded "you people" for his other favorite phrases. 32 00:01:23,934 --> 00:01:26,853 Yeah, I really got Jewish-personed out of that one. 33 00:01:27,145 --> 00:01:28,105 Here, open mine. 34 00:01:28,397 --> 00:01:30,315 Thank you. 35 00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:38,115 A cigar cutter, Maxim and hot sauce. 36 00:01:38,407 --> 00:01:40,242 It's a theme gift. Yeah, the theme is 37 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,160 "stuff lying around my apartment." 38 00:01:42,452 --> 00:01:45,789 Sorry I'm late. Can I get a ni hao up in this hizzy? 39 00:01:46,081 --> 00:01:48,333 Why is everyone in this school obsessed with race? 40 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:50,585 White people problems. 41 00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:52,879 Ooh. That looks fun. 42 00:01:53,171 --> 00:01:55,340 Oh, Troy, Abed. Who's that cute guy 43 00:01:55,632 --> 00:01:57,217 that I saw you outside with earlier? 44 00:01:57,509 --> 00:01:59,261 Lukka, our friend. He's in Troy's class. 45 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:02,264 He's awesome. He has an accent, rolls his cigarettes 46 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,099 and plays the same video games as us. 47 00:02:04,391 --> 00:02:05,392 We like him a lot. 48 00:02:05,684 --> 00:02:08,145 So you're not allowed to bone him. 49 00:02:08,437 --> 00:02:10,021 You just guaranteed she'll bone him. 50 00:02:13,233 --> 00:02:14,443 Who am I kidding? 51 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,611 I should be putting this right on my thighs. 52 00:02:44,014 --> 00:02:45,724 Abed, there's a guy on your 6. 53 00:02:46,016 --> 00:02:47,267 I'm taking out my 9 mm. 54 00:02:47,559 --> 00:02:48,977 Please. In my country, 55 00:02:49,269 --> 00:02:51,271 we give 9 mm to little girl for sweet 16. 56 00:02:51,563 --> 00:02:52,481 Try grenade launcher. 57 00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:53,774 Cool. 58 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,528 Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. 59 00:02:58,820 --> 00:03:02,616 Knock, knock. Hey, I was just stopping by. 60 00:03:02,908 --> 00:03:03,909 Oh, is this a bad time? 61 00:03:04,201 --> 00:03:05,827 Yeah. Gentlemen, 62 00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:08,622 that's no way to treat a girl that looks this way. Come in. 63 00:03:08,914 --> 00:03:10,957 I'm Lukka. Britta. 64 00:03:11,249 --> 00:03:12,334 Like Britney Spears? 65 00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,085 Exactly like Britney Spears. 66 00:03:20,675 --> 00:03:22,135 Britta was just leaving. 67 00:03:22,427 --> 00:03:24,221 No. Stay. Visit with your friends. 68 00:03:24,513 --> 00:03:26,515 I must go anyway. Ohh. 69 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,683 I'm cooking podvarak. I never had that. 70 00:03:28,975 --> 00:03:30,143 I could make for you. 71 00:03:30,435 --> 00:03:32,270 Ohh. I'll give you my number. 72 00:03:32,562 --> 00:03:34,397 - Oh! - You are her boyfriends? 73 00:03:34,689 --> 00:03:36,191 No! Ha, ha. I love these guys. 74 00:03:37,234 --> 00:03:38,819 They make funny with their mouths. 75 00:03:39,110 --> 00:03:40,654 Here you go. 76 00:03:40,946 --> 00:03:41,905 I leave. 77 00:03:42,197 --> 00:03:43,907 Okay. 78 00:03:44,199 --> 00:03:46,034 What? He asked me out. 79 00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:47,452 Not allowed. Not allowed? 80 00:03:47,744 --> 00:03:49,037 You'll ruin him. Ruin him? 81 00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:51,248 Stop repeating. Stop re... Remanding me. 82 00:03:51,540 --> 00:03:52,624 Explain why I'll ruin him. 83 00:03:52,916 --> 00:03:54,626 You date guys that we think are cool, 84 00:03:54,918 --> 00:03:56,253 and when you don't like them, 85 00:03:56,545 --> 00:03:58,713 you tell us horrible things about them. 86 00:03:59,005 --> 00:03:59,965 Name one guy. 87 00:04:00,257 --> 00:04:02,384 Carl, Todd, Kyle, Richard. Fred. Tall Kyle. 88 00:04:02,676 --> 00:04:04,469 Jeff. Jeff. Jeff? I ruined Jeff? 89 00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:05,971 Jeff "Nipple Play" Winger? 90 00:04:06,263 --> 00:04:07,222 No, we're still hanging out with him. 91 00:04:08,265 --> 00:04:09,975 How's it going, Jeff? 92 00:04:10,267 --> 00:04:11,726 Promise you won't date Lukka, 93 00:04:12,018 --> 00:04:14,521 I'll give you a sweatshirt I made for paintball. 94 00:04:14,813 --> 00:04:17,315 Pssh! You should've given me one a long time ago. 95 00:04:17,607 --> 00:04:19,442 I kicked your asses. 96 00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,447 Don't date Lukka. 97 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,534 Hit my genie bottle? 98 00:04:27,826 --> 00:04:29,119 What the...? What was that? 99 00:04:29,411 --> 00:04:31,538 Oh, oh. Jeff? 100 00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:33,707 I'm hoping you can help me with something. 101 00:04:33,999 --> 00:04:36,084 Sure, let's have a look here. 102 00:04:36,376 --> 00:04:38,545 Pieces of paper stapled together, 103 00:04:38,837 --> 00:04:40,922 a lot of writing. This is as far as I can go. 104 00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:44,050 I don't want you to read it. Help me get Chang to sign it. 105 00:04:44,342 --> 00:04:46,553 It's a little something I had an attorney draw up. 106 00:04:46,845 --> 00:04:49,180 This is a forfeiture of parental rights. 107 00:04:49,472 --> 00:04:50,849 Mm-hm. Better safe than sorry. 108 00:04:51,141 --> 00:04:54,352 Why do you need me to make Chang sign away his baby? 109 00:04:54,644 --> 00:04:55,604 Isn't he living with you? 110 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:56,897 Not cool. 111 00:04:57,188 --> 00:04:59,232 You have a rapport with him. Not cool. 112 00:04:59,524 --> 00:05:01,276 Besides, as your friend, can I tell you? 113 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:02,777 Don't poke that bear. 114 00:05:03,069 --> 00:05:04,195 I think, right now, 115 00:05:04,487 --> 00:05:06,072 you're as protected as you can get. 116 00:05:06,364 --> 00:05:08,783 I don't see Chang as being a real hands-on baby-daddy. 117 00:05:09,075 --> 00:05:10,535 Now we're in the business 118 00:05:10,827 --> 00:05:12,954 of knowing what's going on in Chang's head, huh? 119 00:05:19,461 --> 00:05:20,670 Fine, for the child. 120 00:05:20,962 --> 00:05:22,923 God bless you. Not lately. 121 00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,722 I'm, um... I'm so sorry, 122 00:05:31,014 --> 00:05:34,100 but could you just not tell Troy and Abed 123 00:05:34,392 --> 00:05:35,393 that we went out tonight? 124 00:05:35,685 --> 00:05:37,020 No problem. It's just... 125 00:05:37,312 --> 00:05:38,939 Um, they're just really worried 126 00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:41,483 if you and I, you know, see each other, 127 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,318 it's gonna affect your friendship with them. 128 00:05:44,361 --> 00:05:47,072 Don't worry. Don't worry. I can keep a secret. 129 00:05:47,364 --> 00:05:49,407 Oh, good. I'm from the Balkans. 130 00:05:49,699 --> 00:05:52,118 There are many things I try not to talk about. 131 00:05:52,410 --> 00:05:54,079 Oh. 132 00:05:54,371 --> 00:05:57,457 Lukka, I knew it. 133 00:05:57,749 --> 00:05:59,376 I knew there was pain in there. 134 00:05:59,668 --> 00:06:00,919 Just so you know, 135 00:06:01,211 --> 00:06:03,088 you can talk to me about anything. 136 00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,842 So much killing. 137 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,595 The corpses stacked like firewood. 138 00:06:10,887 --> 00:06:13,306 The rivers red with their blood. 139 00:06:13,598 --> 00:06:14,891 I miss it so much. 140 00:06:15,183 --> 00:06:16,851 Lukka. 141 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,646 Mm. Wait, just, um... Just to clarify. 142 00:06:19,938 --> 00:06:21,147 When you say you miss it, 143 00:06:21,439 --> 00:06:23,066 it's like you have survivor's guilt. 144 00:06:23,358 --> 00:06:25,068 You wish you were back over there, 145 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:26,653 defending the motherland? 146 00:06:26,945 --> 00:06:29,489 Yes, I miss cleansing our fields and forests 147 00:06:29,781 --> 00:06:31,658 of the unclean people who stole my country. 148 00:06:31,950 --> 00:06:36,454 I miss the smell of the villages burning. Heh. 149 00:06:36,746 --> 00:06:40,208 I miss the way they used to run from our tanks in fear. 150 00:06:43,420 --> 00:06:46,297 Damn it. My neighbor is jazz musician. 151 00:06:46,589 --> 00:06:50,427 Hey, Spencer. Come on, man. I have woman in here. 152 00:06:52,137 --> 00:06:54,848 Great. He really knows how to kill the mood. 153 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,731 What are you doing? Did you look for a job? 154 00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,692 I was going to, but I noticed your coffee table was wobbly, 155 00:07:05,984 --> 00:07:08,570 so I decided to fix it. 156 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:09,904 Agh! 157 00:07:10,905 --> 00:07:13,575 Agh! Must be the floor. 158 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,618 Don't saw the floor. Don't saw anything. 159 00:07:15,910 --> 00:07:17,996 I'm tired of confiscating saws. Give me that. 160 00:07:19,164 --> 00:07:21,041 Take this. 161 00:07:23,084 --> 00:07:24,919 Parental rights? 162 00:07:25,211 --> 00:07:26,588 You're adopting me? 163 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:29,132 It's from Shirley. It gives her and Andre the baby. 164 00:07:29,424 --> 00:07:31,551 Sign it. 165 00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:33,136 Oh, and if anyone asks, 166 00:07:33,428 --> 00:07:35,305 this was my most convincing speech ever. 167 00:07:41,519 --> 00:07:42,687 Why are you crying? 168 00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:47,567 Ugh. Don't tell me you wanted to be a father. 169 00:07:47,859 --> 00:07:49,486 I don't know. 170 00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:52,405 Maybe. 171 00:07:52,697 --> 00:07:55,408 I mean, what if this is my last chance? 172 00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:58,411 Between you and me, I don't Chang a lot of chicks. 173 00:07:58,703 --> 00:08:01,206 But fathers are responsible. They have jobs. 174 00:08:01,498 --> 00:08:02,999 You crash on people's couches 175 00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:05,752 and twitch in your sleep like a dog dreaming of a rabbit. 176 00:08:06,044 --> 00:08:08,088 It's real. You don't... Wait. 177 00:08:10,006 --> 00:08:12,967 So you're saying if I get a job 178 00:08:13,259 --> 00:08:14,928 and my own apartment, 179 00:08:15,220 --> 00:08:18,765 Shirley might let me be part of my baby's life? 180 00:08:21,768 --> 00:08:23,353 Yes. 181 00:08:23,645 --> 00:08:25,105 That's exactly what I'm saying. 182 00:08:27,190 --> 00:08:29,442 So does that mean I can...? Go for it. 183 00:08:32,237 --> 00:08:33,780 Where do you keep getting these? 184 00:08:40,453 --> 00:08:41,955 Hey, guys. Where are you going? 185 00:08:42,247 --> 00:08:44,624 Grabbing lunch for a video-game session with Lukka. 186 00:08:44,916 --> 00:08:47,127 Fork foods. Don't wanna grease up the troops. 187 00:08:47,418 --> 00:08:48,795 Speaking of Lukka, 188 00:08:49,087 --> 00:08:51,297 how much do you know about him? 189 00:08:51,589 --> 00:08:53,091 Why? You start dating him? 190 00:08:53,383 --> 00:08:54,843 You wanna tell us horrible things? 191 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,053 What? No. Good. Lukka's gonna teach us 192 00:08:57,345 --> 00:08:59,889 how to break the will of an entire village. 193 00:09:00,181 --> 00:09:01,266 That sounds horrific. 194 00:09:01,558 --> 00:09:04,394 Ugh. Girls are so undesensitized. 195 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,150 Jeffrey. 196 00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:12,861 Hey, guys. Hi. 197 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,779 So how'd the talk go with Chang? 198 00:09:15,071 --> 00:09:17,740 About that. I gave my most convincing speech ever 199 00:09:18,032 --> 00:09:19,242 and it didn't take. 200 00:09:19,534 --> 00:09:21,452 Didn't take? We're not giving him a perm, 201 00:09:21,744 --> 00:09:23,037 we just need him to sign. 202 00:09:23,329 --> 00:09:25,165 "Need" is a strong word. 203 00:09:25,456 --> 00:09:27,167 I think Shirley would feel comfortable 204 00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:28,751 if we had something in writing. 205 00:09:29,043 --> 00:09:31,254 However, I believe that we can handle 206 00:09:31,546 --> 00:09:33,047 whatever obstacle comes our way. 207 00:09:33,339 --> 00:09:34,799 Aww. Baby. 208 00:09:35,091 --> 00:09:37,927 Well, good morning, everybody. 209 00:09:38,219 --> 00:09:39,721 Did you see the stock market today? 210 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,140 Up, down, pick a direction. Huh? 211 00:09:42,432 --> 00:09:43,766 I don't know about you, 212 00:09:44,058 --> 00:09:46,311 but I've been circling these want ads all morning. 213 00:09:46,603 --> 00:09:49,230 Now, who wants to take a break and build a birdhouse? 214 00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:50,857 Chang, what's going on? 215 00:09:51,149 --> 00:09:53,401 Just getting my act together. I got a baby coming. 216 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,403 I can almost hear the pitter-patter 217 00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,655 of Chinese feet across the treetops. 218 00:09:57,947 --> 00:09:59,157 And when that happens, 219 00:09:59,449 --> 00:10:01,367 I gotta be the best dad I can be. 220 00:10:01,659 --> 00:10:03,286 Right, Jeff? Huh? 221 00:10:03,578 --> 00:10:04,954 Come on, don't leave me hanging, 222 00:10:05,246 --> 00:10:06,206 my main mentor. 223 00:10:06,497 --> 00:10:07,749 Hey, is that a reason to leave? 224 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:11,711 Hm? Jeffrey. Excuse me. Jeffrey. 225 00:10:12,003 --> 00:10:14,088 Excuse me. Let me ask you a question. 226 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:19,052 Why do I have to put the VCR on three if Bones is on five? 227 00:10:20,678 --> 00:10:23,097 Jeff. Jeffrey. 228 00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:26,893 I know you're not gonna make a pregnant woman run. 229 00:10:29,854 --> 00:10:32,023 I know you're not gonna make a pregnant woman walk 230 00:10:32,315 --> 00:10:34,901 this distance between us. 231 00:10:35,193 --> 00:10:36,986 So I ask you to help me, 232 00:10:37,278 --> 00:10:40,114 and you take that as an opportunity to get Chang out? 233 00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:43,159 Hey, who am I to stand in the way of someone? 234 00:10:43,451 --> 00:10:45,161 Am I daytime television? Very cute. 235 00:10:45,453 --> 00:10:46,579 How cute's it gonna be 236 00:10:46,871 --> 00:10:48,456 when that lunatic is dangling my baby 237 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,458 over a lion cage on alternate weekends? 238 00:10:50,750 --> 00:10:52,418 Pretty cute. Are they baby lions? 239 00:10:52,710 --> 00:10:54,629 New low, Jeff. Even for you. 240 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:56,923 Shirley... Mm! 241 00:10:57,215 --> 00:10:59,592 Right. I'm not gonna make a pregnant woman storm off. 242 00:10:59,884 --> 00:11:01,010 Mm-mm. 243 00:11:01,886 --> 00:11:03,179 Look at them run. 244 00:11:03,471 --> 00:11:05,431 They must die like the maggots that they are. 245 00:11:05,723 --> 00:11:07,267 Points for killing villagers. 246 00:11:07,558 --> 00:11:10,144 He's amazing. I thought I knew everything about this game. 247 00:11:11,688 --> 00:11:12,814 Britta. Hi, Lukka. 248 00:11:13,106 --> 00:11:14,774 No! Unbelievable. 249 00:11:15,066 --> 00:11:18,152 Guys, calm down. I'm just here for my 250 00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:21,072 "Trekkies do it in the final frontier" hat. 251 00:11:21,364 --> 00:11:22,699 That's my hat. Really? 252 00:11:22,991 --> 00:11:24,242 Are you sure? Yep. 253 00:11:29,122 --> 00:11:31,457 Hey, Lukka, you are really good at this game, 254 00:11:31,749 --> 00:11:34,210 and there must be a reason 255 00:11:34,502 --> 00:11:35,962 that you are so good at this game. 256 00:11:36,254 --> 00:11:38,506 Though your flirtation technique is hilarious, 257 00:11:38,798 --> 00:11:41,634 it's distracting. Lukka is kicking serious ass right now. 258 00:11:41,926 --> 00:11:44,304 He just set fire to a farmers' market. 259 00:11:44,595 --> 00:11:46,556 Bang, bang, you're dead! Ha-ha-ha. 260 00:11:46,848 --> 00:11:48,725 Save your tears for your dog mother in hell. 261 00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:52,520 Okay, fine. 262 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:54,063 Wait a minute. 263 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:57,608 You have DVD Blu-ray disc, 264 00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:59,652 Kickpuncher 3: The Final Kickening? 265 00:11:59,944 --> 00:12:00,903 You let me borrow, no? 266 00:12:01,195 --> 00:12:02,405 Sorry. Thanks to Pierce, 267 00:12:02,697 --> 00:12:04,574 who kept writing "this side up" on my discs, 268 00:12:04,866 --> 00:12:07,410 I have a strict no-lending policy on my DVDs. 269 00:12:07,702 --> 00:12:09,746 What would happen if somebody broke that rule? 270 00:12:10,038 --> 00:12:11,956 They'd be dead to me forever. 271 00:12:12,248 --> 00:12:15,001 Maybe we watch Kickpuncher 3: The Final Kickening together. 272 00:12:15,293 --> 00:12:17,253 Yes, Lukka, maybe we do. 273 00:12:17,545 --> 00:12:22,342 Maybe we do. 274 00:12:23,593 --> 00:12:24,761 Would you please leave? 275 00:12:26,554 --> 00:12:28,056 I don't wanna play anymore. 276 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,515 I feel sick. She's strange. 277 00:12:34,270 --> 00:12:35,480 Can I talk to you for a second? 278 00:12:35,772 --> 00:12:37,899 Can't talk till I see my face in this. 279 00:12:38,191 --> 00:12:40,943 Well, can I give you some advice, dad-to-dad? 280 00:12:41,235 --> 00:12:44,614 Hold on, hold on. Where's my pipe? Okay. 281 00:12:47,492 --> 00:12:49,202 What's on your mind, neighbor? 282 00:12:49,494 --> 00:12:52,538 Look, it's great you're trying to get your life together, 283 00:12:52,830 --> 00:12:54,665 but for your sake and for Shirley's, 284 00:12:54,957 --> 00:12:56,376 you need to relax a little. 285 00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:58,169 Oh, I see what's going on. Yeah? 286 00:12:58,461 --> 00:12:59,504 You're scared. No. 287 00:12:59,796 --> 00:13:01,255 Feel me coming up on your tail, huh? 288 00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:03,591 No, no. Man, listen. 289 00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:05,385 I've been a father for 11 years 290 00:13:05,676 --> 00:13:07,261 and a good one for nine of those. 291 00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:09,972 I'm there when they're sick, pick them up from school. 292 00:13:10,264 --> 00:13:11,557 Help them with their homework. 293 00:13:11,849 --> 00:13:13,976 It's not how you act, it's what you do. 294 00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:16,437 Well, I do. 295 00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:19,357 You think that pool table put aluminum siding on itself? 296 00:13:20,650 --> 00:13:22,652 Yeah, see, 297 00:13:22,944 --> 00:13:24,487 that's not what I'm talking about. 298 00:13:25,780 --> 00:13:27,448 That's too bad. What did that? 299 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:30,326 I'll go ahead and consider that point missed. 300 00:13:33,371 --> 00:13:35,998 I got your text. Something happened. 301 00:13:36,290 --> 00:13:38,709 My Kickpuncher 3: The Final Kickening DVD is missing. 302 00:13:39,001 --> 00:13:40,128 That's awful. 303 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,505 Somebody took it? Who would...? 304 00:13:42,797 --> 00:13:45,174 Wait, Kickmuncher 3? 305 00:13:45,466 --> 00:13:48,719 Wasn't that the movie that Lukka was...? 306 00:13:49,011 --> 00:13:49,971 You don't think...? 307 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,305 Unless... 308 00:13:52,682 --> 00:13:55,726 You don't suppose... However... No. 309 00:13:56,018 --> 00:13:57,228 That would mean that you guys 310 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,272 would have to stop hanging out... No! 311 00:14:01,023 --> 00:14:02,608 We have video of you taking the DVD. 312 00:14:02,900 --> 00:14:05,027 - What? - Watch, 313 00:14:05,319 --> 00:14:06,696 I got this guy... Lookit. Lookit. 314 00:14:06,988 --> 00:14:11,451 Oh. One more, brother, you get... Yeah. 315 00:14:11,742 --> 00:14:13,453 You have a security camera? 316 00:14:13,744 --> 00:14:15,288 It's for a documentary I'm making. 317 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:18,499 It's footage of me watching dailies, but it comes in handy. 318 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:21,294 I don't understand why you would pin it on Lukka. 319 00:14:21,586 --> 00:14:23,671 Now you're just ruining cool guys for fun. 320 00:14:23,963 --> 00:14:26,048 It's just cruelty, Britta, you're inhuman. 321 00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:28,009 You're an inhuman person. A monster. 322 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,886 Lukka's a monster for realsies. 323 00:14:30,178 --> 00:14:31,971 I did this so you'd stop hanging out. He's a war criminal. 324 00:14:33,014 --> 00:14:36,476 You're embarrassing yourself. In what war is he a criminal? 325 00:14:36,767 --> 00:14:38,519 The battle for our affections? 326 00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,938 Uh, how about the genocide in the Balkans? 327 00:14:41,230 --> 00:14:43,900 Mm, yeah. You would say that. You just got caught red-handed 328 00:14:44,192 --> 00:14:46,402 borrowing a DVD without permission. 329 00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:50,656 You guys have to believe me. 330 00:14:50,948 --> 00:14:54,160 He's so much worse than Tall Kyle. 331 00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:06,214 Hey, jefe. 332 00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,508 What are you doing? Who are these tiny people? 333 00:15:08,799 --> 00:15:10,343 I picked up Shirley's kids, 334 00:15:10,635 --> 00:15:12,386 and I'm helping out with their homework. 335 00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:13,971 Hey, kids. Hey. 336 00:15:14,263 --> 00:15:16,933 Hey, watch the cardigan. 337 00:15:17,225 --> 00:15:18,226 What? Why? 338 00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:19,810 To prove I'm a responsible dad. 339 00:15:20,102 --> 00:15:21,854 This proves you're a kidnapper. 340 00:15:22,146 --> 00:15:24,649 I am nuts! Get with the program! 341 00:15:24,941 --> 00:15:26,317 What have I done? I can't believe 342 00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:27,735 I said you could be a father. 343 00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:30,780 I can be. You can't be anything, 344 00:15:31,072 --> 00:15:32,198 you never will. 345 00:15:32,490 --> 00:15:33,866 I pretended to have faith in you 346 00:15:34,158 --> 00:15:36,160 to get you out of my apartment. 347 00:15:36,452 --> 00:15:38,496 Now, call Shirley and beg forgiveness. 348 00:15:38,788 --> 00:15:40,957 Kids, why don't you get your stuff together? 349 00:15:41,249 --> 00:15:43,209 I'll take you home. 350 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,170 Who's Shirley? 351 00:15:46,462 --> 00:15:48,297 Shirley's your mom, dumb-ass. 352 00:15:48,589 --> 00:15:49,632 Our mom's name is Loquanda. 353 00:15:49,924 --> 00:15:51,926 Hey, hey. That's racist. 354 00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:54,303 Wait, is your mom's name really Loquanda? 355 00:15:54,595 --> 00:15:56,264 Yeah. You said you're a friend of hers. 356 00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,182 Why didn't you know that, dumb-ass? 357 00:15:58,474 --> 00:16:02,019 I do. I was just playing an educational game with you. 358 00:16:02,311 --> 00:16:03,896 Right. Don't give me that lip. 359 00:16:04,188 --> 00:16:05,856 Kids, you mind waiting in the hallway? 360 00:16:06,148 --> 00:16:08,693 Yeah, no problem. Go ahead. 361 00:16:08,985 --> 00:16:10,528 I want you to understand something. 362 00:16:10,820 --> 00:16:12,655 Yes. You are a horrible human being. 363 00:16:12,947 --> 00:16:14,657 I will never feel sorry for you again. 364 00:16:14,949 --> 00:16:16,409 I don't care what happens to you, 365 00:16:16,701 --> 00:16:19,579 and when I get back, I want you gone. 366 00:16:19,870 --> 00:16:22,832 Believe me. I will definitely be far, far away from here. 367 00:16:28,462 --> 00:16:31,215 Hi, policemen. How much do you pay for anonymous tips 368 00:16:31,507 --> 00:16:32,883 about kidnappings? 369 00:16:34,260 --> 00:16:36,804 Okay, fine. This one's on me. 370 00:16:41,559 --> 00:16:42,727 You're free to go. 371 00:16:43,019 --> 00:16:46,439 Here's your wallet, keys and pasties. 372 00:16:46,731 --> 00:16:48,608 They're nipple guards for running. 373 00:16:48,899 --> 00:16:49,984 Olympic athletes use them. 374 00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:52,820 I worked at a maximum-security prison, 375 00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:54,780 those are the gayest things I've seen. 376 00:16:55,072 --> 00:16:56,991 Well, I find that hard to believe. 377 00:16:57,283 --> 00:16:58,993 Jeffrey, I spoke to the boys' mother, 378 00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:01,245 she's not gonna press charges. Are you okay? 379 00:17:01,537 --> 00:17:04,081 Oh, I'm fine. I spent the night learning arts and crafts 380 00:17:04,373 --> 00:17:05,458 from my cellmate, Chabo. 381 00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:07,209 Did you know you can make an ashtray 382 00:17:07,501 --> 00:17:09,211 using a snitch's forehead? 383 00:17:09,503 --> 00:17:11,464 Yeah. 384 00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:13,507 Look, Shirley, 385 00:17:13,799 --> 00:17:17,678 I'm sorry I tried to capitalize on your situation with Chang. 386 00:17:17,970 --> 00:17:19,680 Apology accepted. 387 00:17:19,972 --> 00:17:21,641 Punishment is time served. 388 00:17:21,932 --> 00:17:23,476 There's no cell that can hold Chang. 389 00:17:23,768 --> 00:17:26,062 Cut it out, get down the hallway. Come on. 390 00:17:26,354 --> 00:17:27,813 Winger. 391 00:17:28,105 --> 00:17:30,399 Thank God you're all right. I've been looking all... 392 00:17:30,691 --> 00:17:31,817 Hey, Tracy, what's up, baby? 393 00:17:32,109 --> 00:17:33,361 Why are they arresting Chang? 394 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,321 Loquanda wasn't pressing charges. 395 00:17:35,613 --> 00:17:37,615 I talked her into going after Chang 396 00:17:37,907 --> 00:17:38,866 for child endangerment. 397 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,534 He could get three to five years. 398 00:17:40,826 --> 00:17:42,078 You sure that's what you want? 399 00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:44,080 Because if we put our heads together, 400 00:17:44,372 --> 00:17:45,164 we could be rid of him for 20 to life. 401 00:17:46,207 --> 00:17:47,875 Really? Oh, absolutely. 402 00:17:48,167 --> 00:17:50,544 I'd testify that he tried to sell those kids to me. 403 00:17:50,836 --> 00:17:52,963 Throw in that he was teaching them Spanish, 404 00:17:53,255 --> 00:17:54,340 any DA worth his salt 405 00:17:54,632 --> 00:17:56,092 could make a case for trafficking. 406 00:17:56,384 --> 00:17:58,636 I like how you're thinking. 407 00:17:58,928 --> 00:18:01,514 What is wrong with you two? Why are you doing this? 408 00:18:01,806 --> 00:18:03,307 I'm doing this for us. 409 00:18:03,599 --> 00:18:04,558 We have a second chance. 410 00:18:04,850 --> 00:18:06,227 I want everything to be perfect. 411 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:08,938 That's what you wanted the first time around. 412 00:18:09,230 --> 00:18:11,357 You did everything to make everything perfect, 413 00:18:11,649 --> 00:18:14,276 and look what happened. You cheated because I wanted 414 00:18:14,568 --> 00:18:15,736 what was best for our family? 415 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,030 No. I cheated because I was a coward. 416 00:18:18,322 --> 00:18:20,616 You took me back because while I was gone 417 00:18:20,908 --> 00:18:23,411 you learned to accept the bad with the good. 418 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,329 Oh, that's the Greendale effect. 419 00:18:25,621 --> 00:18:27,665 Our school motto is "lower your standards." 420 00:18:27,957 --> 00:18:31,711 Look, I know you are ashamed about what happened with Chang. 421 00:18:32,002 --> 00:18:33,504 Hell, I am too. 422 00:18:33,796 --> 00:18:35,047 But locking that little man up 423 00:18:35,339 --> 00:18:37,717 is not gonna make our lives any less crazy. 424 00:18:38,008 --> 00:18:40,261 It will only make prison crazier. 425 00:18:40,553 --> 00:18:41,595 I guess you're right. 426 00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:43,806 It's impossible to keep the chaos 427 00:18:44,098 --> 00:18:46,392 from your lives. We learned that in that movie we saw 428 00:18:46,684 --> 00:18:48,060 with all those dinosaurs. 429 00:18:48,352 --> 00:18:50,813 Jurassic Park? No, It's Complicated. 430 00:18:53,607 --> 00:18:55,317 Okay, okay. Time out, okay. 431 00:18:55,609 --> 00:18:57,445 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 432 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,905 I'm sorry to you, you, Officer Baby. 433 00:19:00,197 --> 00:19:02,158 - Let's go, buddy. - No! 434 00:19:02,450 --> 00:19:04,326 - You're coming with me. - No! No! 435 00:19:12,418 --> 00:19:13,753 Britta? 436 00:19:14,044 --> 00:19:16,714 What? You guys want me to ruin something for you? 437 00:19:17,006 --> 00:19:18,841 Come on, you're being dramatic. 438 00:19:21,969 --> 00:19:24,346 We asked Lukka a few questions after what you said. 439 00:19:24,638 --> 00:19:26,140 He told us about his time in the army 440 00:19:26,432 --> 00:19:28,934 and the things he did... 441 00:19:29,226 --> 00:19:31,562 I'm never gonna get those images out of my head. 442 00:19:31,854 --> 00:19:34,607 If I go to Balkans, I'm bringing some serious cheat codes. 443 00:19:34,899 --> 00:19:36,275 Why didn't you tell us sooner? 444 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:37,568 I didn't wanna be the one 445 00:19:37,860 --> 00:19:39,487 to ruin another guy for you guys. 446 00:19:39,779 --> 00:19:40,905 There's a difference 447 00:19:41,197 --> 00:19:43,032 between telling us a guy likes nipple play 448 00:19:43,324 --> 00:19:45,367 and telling us a guy makes hats out of babies. 449 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,078 The reason this happened 450 00:19:48,370 --> 00:19:50,873 is because we've been riding you hard lately. 451 00:19:51,165 --> 00:19:53,334 How about we promise to go easier on you, 452 00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,378 if you promise not to tell us about guys you're dating 453 00:19:56,670 --> 00:19:58,297 unless they've committed genocide? 454 00:19:58,589 --> 00:20:01,342 Or if they're left-handed. Wanna know. I'm making a chart. 455 00:20:01,967 --> 00:20:03,344 Deal. 456 00:20:05,888 --> 00:20:08,474 I guess I ruined game night. 457 00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:09,809 I tend to ruin stuff. 458 00:20:10,100 --> 00:20:11,227 Come on. You do not. 459 00:20:11,519 --> 00:20:12,478 Wanna watch Catfish? 460 00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:14,063 That movie where the guy flirts 461 00:20:14,355 --> 00:20:15,940 with the girl online, but it turns out 462 00:20:16,232 --> 00:20:17,316 that it's a fat, old woman? 463 00:20:19,443 --> 00:20:21,195 Oh. Sorry. 464 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:22,905 It's cool. 465 00:20:23,197 --> 00:20:24,949 Maybe it's about catfish. 466 00:21:02,444 --> 00:21:04,488 Well, this was fun.