1
00:00:03,401 --> 00:00:05,696
AND BLOWING NOISEMAKERS]
[CHEERING

2
00:00:05,696 --> 00:00:08,281
That was weird.
We only sang the last two words.

3
00:00:08,281 --> 00:00:09,700
What happened to
the "happy birthday" part?

4
00:00:09,700 --> 00:00:11,118
Troy's a Jehovah's Witness.

5
00:00:11,118 --> 00:00:12,410
He doesn't celebrate birthdays.

6
00:00:12,410 --> 00:00:14,579
We kept the language
on the cake compliant.

7
00:00:14,579 --> 00:00:16,665
a random dessert,
"Hello during

8
00:00:16,665 --> 00:00:19,626
the month and day of which
coincide numerically

9
00:00:19,626 --> 00:00:22,587
with your expulsion
from a uterus."

10
00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:24,422
You guys, I never cry, but…

11
00:00:24,422 --> 00:00:26,466
happy expulsion, Troy.
All right,

12
00:00:26,466 --> 00:00:29,011
we cram, for realsies.
But after cake,

13
00:00:29,011 --> 00:00:30,888
are coming up.
Guys, finals

14
00:00:30,888 --> 00:00:34,099
This group is starting to use
occasions to avoid studying.

15
00:00:34,099 --> 00:00:36,351
Last week we had fondue
and played Boggle

16
00:00:36,351 --> 00:00:38,269
because Shirley's niece
took her first bath.

17
00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:40,647
With bubbles.
Thank you, it's a milestone.

18
00:00:40,647 --> 00:00:42,607
Funny, last week
was my birthday

19
00:00:42,607 --> 00:00:44,568
and nobody noticed
and nobody cared.

20
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:51,408
Pierce, you don't remember
the huge party we threw?

21
00:00:51,408 --> 00:00:53,242
We need to talk about
those painkillers.

22
00:00:53,242 --> 00:00:55,120
you remember anything…
I don't think

23
00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:57,039
Huge party, you were like,

24
00:00:57,039 --> 00:00:58,165
"The best party of my life."

25
00:00:58,165 --> 00:01:00,333
Nutritious.
Got you!

26
00:01:01,585 --> 00:01:03,628
I remember my birthday.
Of course

27
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:05,756
What a party.

28
00:01:05,756 --> 00:01:07,758
Yeah, you still owe me
for the keg deposit.

29
00:01:07,758 --> 00:01:10,301
Oh, you think
I don't know that?

30
00:01:10,301 --> 00:01:13,388
Troy.
Troy.

31
00:01:19,310 --> 00:01:22,606
To run out of steam ♪
d Give me the hope

32
00:01:22,606 --> 00:01:25,776
It can be here ♪
d Somebody said

33
00:01:25,776 --> 00:01:30,030
Tied up dead in a year ♪
d We could be roped up

34
00:01:42,126 --> 00:01:45,212
Detroit? No way!

35
00:01:45,212 --> 00:01:47,547
This is sold out everywhere.
Not everywhere.

36
00:01:47,547 --> 00:01:49,674
they're not crazy about it.
I got a cousin in Detroit,

37
00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:52,219
This is how you turn 20.
Thanks.

38
00:01:52,219 --> 00:01:54,012
There's strawberries
under there.

39
00:01:54,012 --> 00:01:55,680
Here, let me help you.

40
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:57,641
I broke my legs,
not my gender.

41
00:01:57,641 --> 00:01:59,392
Okay.

42
00:01:59,392 --> 00:02:01,311
While we're
watching this unfold,

43
00:02:01,311 --> 00:02:04,064
some birthday facts
to enjoy.

44
00:02:04,064 --> 00:02:06,733
Troy's birthday is tomorrow,
December 4th.

45
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:09,861
Also born that day,
Tyra Banks, Marisa Tomei

46
00:02:09,861 --> 00:02:12,781
and French cinematographer
Claude Renoir.

47
00:02:12,781 --> 00:02:14,699
Yes, jackpot.
That's good.

48
00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:17,161
Troy is a horse, like me.
On the Chinese calendar,

49
00:02:17,161 --> 00:02:20,080
self-possessed and gregarious.
Purposeful,

50
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:21,873
No, I'm pretty sure
I'm a snake.

51
00:02:21,873 --> 00:02:23,750
because I'm determined,
I remember

52
00:02:23,750 --> 00:02:25,460
and mendacious.
self-possessed

53
00:02:25,460 --> 00:02:28,588
Pierce, what are you doing?
Explain yourself.

54
00:02:28,588 --> 00:02:30,507
this crappy cake anyway?
Who made

55
00:02:30,507 --> 00:02:32,968
A cake maker at a cake store.
He did it wrong.

56
00:02:32,968 --> 00:02:36,180
Troy, we're 1990, we're horses.
I was born in '89.

57
00:02:36,180 --> 00:02:39,599
Then you were born
21 years ago.

58
00:02:39,599 --> 00:02:41,310
Which would make me 20

59
00:02:41,310 --> 00:02:43,979
because everyone is 10
for two years.

60
00:02:43,979 --> 00:02:47,149
is really hard for everyone.
Because fifth grade

61
00:02:47,149 --> 00:02:49,193
have I been living?
Mom, how many lies

62
00:02:49,193 --> 00:02:51,945
midnight, you are turning 21?
Troy, do you realize at

63
00:02:51,945 --> 00:02:54,572
As in the legal drinking age.

64
00:02:54,572 --> 00:02:56,074
Whoa!

65
00:02:56,074 --> 00:02:57,951
just became unacceptable.
This party

66
00:02:57,951 --> 00:02:59,661
We're going out.
Yep.

67
00:02:59,661 --> 00:03:01,579
You were just complaining
about too many parties.

68
00:03:01,579 --> 00:03:04,208
What makes it real?
Lame ones. This is real.

69
00:03:04,208 --> 00:03:06,668
taking his first bath,
Think of it as Troy

70
00:03:06,668 --> 00:03:08,503
only the bubbles
are his manhood.

71
00:03:08,503 --> 00:03:10,463
I wanna bathe in manhood.
Yes.

72
00:03:10,463 --> 00:03:11,798
Aw.
Aw.

73
00:03:11,798 --> 00:03:13,884
I'm taking you
to I Street.

74
00:03:13,884 --> 00:03:15,802
Ugh. Douche Street.

75
00:03:15,802 --> 00:03:17,679
you hate cool bars.
Oh, of course

76
00:03:17,679 --> 00:03:20,307
I don't suppose you've ever
even been to I Street.

77
00:03:20,307 --> 00:03:22,767
No, but I also
haven't been to Beirut.

78
00:03:22,767 --> 00:03:25,937
I will go one day
But I'm sure

79
00:03:25,937 --> 00:03:28,982
because I hear they have
lots of important cultural…

80
00:03:28,982 --> 00:03:31,193
It's my birthday.

81
00:03:31,193 --> 00:03:33,402
Unlike I Street,
which is douchey.

82
00:03:33,402 --> 00:03:35,197
your great suggestions.
Let's hear

83
00:03:35,197 --> 00:03:36,573
The Red Door.

84
00:03:36,573 --> 00:03:38,367
Oh, yeah, the Red Door.
The Red Hipster.

85
00:03:38,367 --> 00:03:40,827
Not hipster. Hipsters
haven't discovered it yet.

86
00:03:40,827 --> 00:03:43,496
It's underground.
Why don't we go someplace fun,

87
00:03:43,496 --> 00:03:46,291
They serve virgin mudslides.
like Peg Leg Pablo's?

88
00:03:46,291 --> 00:03:47,667
Those are milkshakes.

89
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:49,378
All you think about
is yourselves.

90
00:03:49,378 --> 00:03:52,463
Think about me. I'm 19,
I can't get into bars.

91
00:03:52,463 --> 00:03:54,132
That must be awful.
Well…

92
00:03:54,132 --> 00:03:55,759
I'll bring you a mudslide.

93
00:03:55,759 --> 00:03:57,886
Okay, well, have fun.

94
00:03:59,054 --> 00:04:02,057
Fine, I'll get Annie an ID.

95
00:04:02,057 --> 00:04:03,808
It will be real,
A fake ID?

96
00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:06,477
I will see you at the Red Door.
it just won't be yours.

97
00:04:06,477 --> 00:04:08,688
Nice try. We're not going
to Red Poet's Society.

98
00:04:08,688 --> 00:04:10,607
to Douche Street either.
We're not going

99
00:04:10,607 --> 00:04:13,484
Fine. Name the least offensive
bar you've ever been to.

100
00:04:13,484 --> 00:04:14,778
One, two, three.

101
00:04:14,778 --> 00:04:16,738
Flannahan's Hole.
Flannahan's Hole, done.

102
00:04:16,738 --> 00:04:18,115
Troy, you riding with me?

103
00:04:18,115 --> 00:04:19,366
Do you even have to ask?

104
00:04:19,366 --> 00:04:21,410
Pierce, do you wanna ride
in my van?

105
00:04:21,410 --> 00:04:23,078
I'm not a disabled.

106
00:04:23,078 --> 00:04:25,414
helping me do normal things
I don't need people

107
00:04:25,414 --> 00:04:27,958
Why don't you just leave…?
and doting over me.

108
00:04:29,584 --> 00:04:31,628
Okay, I'll beat you there.

109
00:04:31,628 --> 00:04:34,339
I don't think this girl
looks very much like me.

110
00:04:34,339 --> 00:04:36,133
Come on.
She's a white brunette.

111
00:04:36,133 --> 00:04:38,676
So is Anne Hathaway.
Go on.

112
00:04:38,676 --> 00:04:41,096
What's your friend doing
with other people's IDs?

113
00:04:41,096 --> 00:04:43,514
I don't know,
sometimes people sell their ID

114
00:04:43,514 --> 00:04:45,225
when they're leaving the state
and need cash.

115
00:04:45,225 --> 00:04:48,353
So she's a drifter.
A floater.

116
00:04:48,353 --> 00:04:50,397
An urchin.

117
00:04:50,397 --> 00:04:52,816
from Corpus Christi, Texas.
Caroline Decker

118
00:04:52,816 --> 00:04:55,235
Do I need an accent?
Texas?

119
00:04:55,235 --> 00:04:56,945
You don't
need an accent.

120
00:04:56,945 --> 00:04:58,488
Howdy, y'all.

121
00:04:58,488 --> 00:05:00,782
Please don't do that.
I'm Caroline Decker.

122
00:05:00,782 --> 00:05:03,452
That's Cajun.
I guarantee.

123
00:05:03,452 --> 00:05:05,412
I should research
Corpus Christi.

124
00:05:05,412 --> 00:05:07,831
Annie, relax.
I'm not a relaxed person.

125
00:05:07,831 --> 00:05:09,624
I think ahead.
I prepare.

126
00:05:09,624 --> 00:05:12,877
I don't improvise my life
like Caroline Decker.

127
00:05:12,877 --> 00:05:14,379
really bad credit
Who probably has

128
00:05:14,379 --> 00:05:15,922
and an unfinished
mermaid tattoo.

129
00:05:15,922 --> 00:05:17,674
What?

130
00:05:17,674 --> 00:05:20,927
Flannahan's Hole is closed.
That's not a…

131
00:05:20,927 --> 00:05:23,638
I'm not being clever.
I mean it's out of business.

132
00:05:23,638 --> 00:05:26,266
for trying to please everyone.
Well, that's what they get

133
00:05:26,266 --> 00:05:27,851
So now what?

134
00:05:27,851 --> 00:05:29,436
There's a place
at Third and Water.

135
00:05:29,436 --> 00:05:32,022
It's fun-divey
but not staph-infection-divey.

136
00:05:32,022 --> 00:05:33,815
It's either got
a gross name

137
00:05:33,815 --> 00:05:36,401
or an ironically fancy one,
possibly both.

138
00:05:36,401 --> 00:05:38,820
Oh, The Ballroom. Good.
Go to Third and Water.

139
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:41,490
That wasn't the deal.
Wait, what?

140
00:05:41,490 --> 00:05:42,991
Shirley's pushing back.

141
00:05:42,991 --> 00:05:44,993
Why, because they
don't have plastic menus?

142
00:05:44,993 --> 00:05:47,204
Don't repeat that.
Why, because they don't…

143
00:05:47,204 --> 00:05:48,997
Jeez. Look, just…

144
00:05:48,997 --> 00:05:50,415
The women are your problem,

145
00:05:50,415 --> 00:05:52,292
are going to The Ballroom.
and the men

146
00:05:52,292 --> 00:05:54,211
I am being clever.
And now I guess

147
00:05:56,046 --> 00:05:57,922
So plastic menus
are bad?

148
00:05:57,922 --> 00:06:00,884
See, this is the kind of stuff
I need to learn.

149
00:06:00,884 --> 00:06:03,011
Plastic menus seem like
a great idea to me.

150
00:06:03,011 --> 00:06:05,347
You spill something,
your mom says,

151
00:06:05,347 --> 00:06:07,474
Fuddruckers for everyone."
"Troy, you're ruining

152
00:06:07,474 --> 00:06:10,143
the next chapter of your life.
Troy, you're entering

153
00:06:10,143 --> 00:06:11,936
it's the final chapter,
Sadly,

154
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:13,397
but it's also the longest,

155
00:06:13,397 --> 00:06:15,232
and if you play it right,
the best.

156
00:06:15,232 --> 00:06:17,692
we're just two guys now.
You and I,

157
00:06:17,692 --> 00:06:19,819
Peers. Equals.

158
00:06:19,819 --> 00:06:21,779
So awesome.

159
00:06:21,779 --> 00:06:23,365
Maybe later you'll let me
drive your car.

160
00:06:27,118 --> 00:06:28,286
No?

161
00:06:30,747 --> 00:06:32,623
No.
No way.

162
00:06:34,792 --> 00:06:37,337
Hello, former enemy.

163
00:06:37,337 --> 00:06:39,464
He's 21 at midnight. Cool?

164
00:06:39,464 --> 00:06:42,050
Yeah, happy birthday.
Thanks.

165
00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:43,510
I don't like this place.

166
00:06:43,510 --> 00:06:45,803
Ugh. You've made that clear,
Shirley. Oy vey.

167
00:06:45,803 --> 00:06:47,847
from Corpus Christi.
Caroline Decker

168
00:06:47,847 --> 00:06:49,640
Annie, you don't need an accent.

169
00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,809
They'll be suspicious.
My ID says Texas.

170
00:06:51,809 --> 00:06:53,562
They're not gonna
question your ID

171
00:06:53,562 --> 00:06:55,855
because you're a hot girl.
We're good for business.

172
00:06:55,855 --> 00:06:58,567
The hotter you are,
the more they'll risk the fine.

173
00:07:02,529 --> 00:07:04,864
Howdy.
All right.

174
00:07:06,908 --> 00:07:09,494
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

175
00:07:14,916 --> 00:07:16,376
Can't be too careful.

176
00:07:16,376 --> 00:07:18,420
I understand.

177
00:07:20,297 --> 00:07:23,133
Hey, hey, Shirley.
Welcome back.

178
00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:26,677
You don't know me?

179
00:07:26,677 --> 00:07:29,097
Okay?
Yeah.

180
00:07:29,097 --> 00:07:31,849
You don't know me.

181
00:07:37,439 --> 00:07:39,190
This place is all right.
Yeah, it's okay.

182
00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:41,234
These pictures must be
of all the regulars.

183
00:07:41,234 --> 00:07:43,861
You think someday I could
make it up to this wall?

184
00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:48,283
I don't say this often, Troy,
but dream a little smaller.

185
00:07:48,283 --> 00:07:49,951
Can I get you guys anything?

186
00:07:49,951 --> 00:07:52,496
Oh! Uh… I'm okay.

187
00:07:52,496 --> 00:07:53,830
Another Macallan, neat.

188
00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:55,206
Vodka, neat,
four olives.

189
00:07:55,206 --> 00:07:57,459
I'm waiting till midnight.
Aw.

190
00:07:57,459 --> 00:07:59,961
Sweetie?

191
00:07:59,961 --> 00:08:02,172
Oh, where's that accent from?
Water.

192
00:08:02,172 --> 00:08:05,925
Corpus Christi, Texas.
78418.

193
00:08:05,925 --> 00:08:07,177
What are you doing in town?

194
00:08:07,177 --> 00:08:09,012
Not much, I reckon.

195
00:08:09,012 --> 00:08:12,723
Just drifting, floating.
Spitting in the wind.

196
00:08:12,723 --> 00:08:14,809
General waywardness.

197
00:08:14,809 --> 00:08:16,603
Alrighty.

198
00:08:16,603 --> 00:08:19,105
Annie, you're in the bar.

199
00:08:19,105 --> 00:08:21,149
You don't have to be
from Texas anymore.

200
00:08:21,149 --> 00:08:23,193
I don't know how it works.
I'm not a barfly, Britta.

201
00:08:23,193 --> 00:08:24,986
They have "Asteroids."
Slide out.

202
00:08:24,986 --> 00:08:26,404
Okay. Okay. Oh, okay.

203
00:08:26,404 --> 00:08:29,240
a little look around.
I'm gonna go take

204
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:32,369
Annie, don't accept any drinks.
Me too.

205
00:08:32,369 --> 00:08:35,455
to the bathroom.
Or invitations

206
00:08:35,455 --> 00:08:38,041
So, what are you gonna order
for your first legal drink?

207
00:08:38,041 --> 00:08:39,876
What should I get?
Whatever you want.

208
00:08:39,876 --> 00:08:41,836
I like beer.
No wrong answers.

209
00:08:41,836 --> 00:08:43,547
Don't order beer.
You've had beer.

210
00:08:43,547 --> 00:08:46,090
What should I get?

211
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:47,925
What do you think
you might like?

212
00:08:47,925 --> 00:08:49,886
Follow your heart.
It's your world now.

213
00:08:49,886 --> 00:08:52,639
played a big role in my life.
My Uncle Carl

214
00:08:52,639 --> 00:08:55,433
how to throw a football.
He taught me

215
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:57,185
He passed away this year.

216
00:08:57,185 --> 00:08:59,145
was a Seven and Seven.
His favorite drink

217
00:09:00,730 --> 00:09:02,315
Don't order that.
That's an awful drink.

218
00:09:02,315 --> 00:09:04,401
It's a high-school drink
for girls.

219
00:09:04,401 --> 00:09:07,362
Actually, I'll have a root beer
instead of that water.

220
00:09:07,362 --> 00:09:10,156
Sure thing.
Thank you kindly.

221
00:09:10,156 --> 00:09:12,950
Y'all are so nice
in this town.

222
00:09:12,950 --> 00:09:15,995
From Corpus Christi.
I'm Caroline.

223
00:09:15,995 --> 00:09:19,123
I grew up on a trout farm.

224
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:22,001
Deedily doo.
Doo-doo-doo.

225
00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:24,379
Oh, careful.

226
00:09:24,379 --> 00:09:26,047
You score any higher on this,

227
00:09:26,047 --> 00:09:29,133
the Rylans are gonna recruit you
to fight the Ko-Dan Empire.

228
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:30,760
The Last Starfighter.

229
00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:33,096
the 25th anniversary Blu-ray?
Did you get

230
00:09:33,096 --> 00:09:35,390
Was Scorpius half-Scarran,
half-peacekeeper?

231
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:38,017
Frell, yes,
I got Starfighter on Blu-ray.

232
00:09:39,894 --> 00:09:43,440
You're a fan of the sci-fi
original series Farscape.

233
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,358
Can I buy you a drink?

234
00:09:51,573 --> 00:09:53,824
You got some ID?

235
00:09:53,824 --> 00:09:57,078
Very funny, punk.
Get out of my way.

236
00:09:58,496 --> 00:10:00,749
I don't know how people
like you even get jobs.

237
00:10:00,749 --> 00:10:02,125
Do you need help, man?

238
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:04,043
Oh, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?

239
00:10:04,043 --> 00:10:06,504
A little turning of the tables?
Heh-heh.

240
00:10:08,715 --> 00:10:10,425
The turning of what tables?

241
00:10:10,425 --> 00:10:11,842
leave me alone.
I don't know,

242
00:10:16,389 --> 00:10:18,808
So I punched her.
Right in the face.

243
00:10:18,808 --> 00:10:22,395
Your probation officer?
Didn't you get in trouble?

244
00:10:22,395 --> 00:10:24,397
I got in trouble.
Hell, yes,

245
00:10:24,397 --> 00:10:26,941
Wasn't the first time,
won't be the last.

246
00:10:26,941 --> 00:10:29,736
I'm not exactly known
for my sound judgment.

247
00:10:29,736 --> 00:10:31,404
Back in Corpus Christi,

248
00:10:31,404 --> 00:10:33,406
Capricious Caroline.
they call me

249
00:10:33,406 --> 00:10:34,991
What's "capricious" mean?

250
00:10:36,618 --> 00:10:39,621
I'm too busy living life
It probably means

251
00:10:39,621 --> 00:10:42,123
to be learning $5 words.

252
00:10:42,123 --> 00:10:44,626
Ha-ha! Hot damn.

253
00:10:44,626 --> 00:10:46,503
With an aged Scotch,
never use ice.

254
00:10:46,503 --> 00:10:47,920
Never use ice, got it.

255
00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:49,922
Why?
Destroys it.

256
00:10:49,922 --> 00:10:53,009
two drops of spring water.
At most, what you want,

257
00:10:53,009 --> 00:10:54,260
Activates the flavor.

258
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,886
Do they have the rules
Good lord.

259
00:10:55,886 --> 00:10:58,848
on the wall at I Street?
to poseur drinking

260
00:10:58,848 --> 00:11:00,725
Do they?
Poseur drinking?

261
00:11:00,725 --> 00:11:03,645
Hey, Ms. Vodka-Neat-Four-Olives.
What's that called?

262
00:11:03,645 --> 00:11:06,314
Is it?
The too-cool-to-care-tini?

263
00:11:06,314 --> 00:11:08,692
The forced starkness
of that drink order

264
00:11:08,692 --> 00:11:10,901
turns horn-rimmed heads
at the Red Door.

265
00:11:10,901 --> 00:11:13,070
I can't wait to understand
these arguments.

266
00:11:13,070 --> 00:11:15,824
Hey, y'all, another round.
Everybody holding up?

267
00:11:15,824 --> 00:11:18,284
in two shakes of a rabbit's ass.
I'll be back

268
00:11:19,410 --> 00:11:21,621
Who the hell was that?

269
00:11:21,621 --> 00:11:23,247
I gotta go see a woman

270
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:25,124
about the female equivalent
of a horse.

271
00:11:25,124 --> 00:11:27,377
Classy. Way to show
Troy the ropes.

272
00:11:27,377 --> 00:11:29,337
Shut up, I Street.

273
00:11:31,214 --> 00:11:34,634
Yeah.
That woman is a hurricane.

274
00:11:35,719 --> 00:11:38,555
Hurricanes are bad, Troy.
I know.

275
00:11:42,933 --> 00:11:45,269
Crichton fell through
I think the wormhole

276
00:11:45,269 --> 00:11:47,647
not only space, but time,
moved him across

277
00:11:47,647 --> 00:11:50,107
which suggests Sebaceans
are our future selves

278
00:11:50,107 --> 00:11:51,442
longs for a planet
and Crichton

279
00:11:51,442 --> 00:11:53,361
that no longer exists.
Huh.

280
00:11:53,361 --> 00:11:56,573
Hey, you're really
nursing that beer.

281
00:11:59,409 --> 00:12:02,412
move you one place to another
What kind of wormhole could

282
00:12:02,412 --> 00:12:04,372
within the same galaxy
on the same day?

283
00:12:04,372 --> 00:12:07,375
Speaking of wormholes,
what do you say we use one

284
00:12:07,375 --> 00:12:11,588
to teleport this conversation
someplace a little more private?

285
00:12:11,588 --> 00:12:13,005
That doesn't make sense.

286
00:12:13,005 --> 00:12:15,174
Wormholes and teleportation
are different.

287
00:12:15,174 --> 00:12:16,593
I've been talking about.
That's what

288
00:12:16,593 --> 00:12:19,053
I noticed.
Cheers.

289
00:12:19,053 --> 00:12:21,806
I followed that band Phish,
spells it with a P-H.

290
00:12:21,806 --> 00:12:24,975
I just lived in parking lots.
I don't like their music,

291
00:12:24,975 --> 00:12:26,519
just did it to see if I could.

292
00:12:26,519 --> 00:12:27,896
And guess what. I could.

293
00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:29,689
So, what now?
I don't know.

294
00:12:29,689 --> 00:12:32,233
Even if I planned it,
plans just fall off me

295
00:12:32,233 --> 00:12:34,611
like chicken crap
off an armadillo.

296
00:12:34,611 --> 00:12:36,945
who plans things, not me.
Annie's the one

297
00:12:36,945 --> 00:12:39,824
She goes to school here.
Annie's my friend.

298
00:12:39,824 --> 00:12:42,535
Thinks she's got it
all figured out.

299
00:12:42,535 --> 00:12:44,953
in healthcare management.
She wants to major

300
00:12:44,953 --> 00:12:47,331
What does that even mean?
No idea.

301
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:50,209
I'll tell you what it means.
It means a master's degree.

302
00:12:50,209 --> 00:12:51,920
Followed by an internship.

303
00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:54,798
She's got the next 15 years
of her life all mapped out,

304
00:12:54,798 --> 00:12:56,215
and all she's gotta do now

305
00:12:56,215 --> 00:12:58,301
is just follow it
or screw it up.

306
00:12:58,301 --> 00:13:02,096
Actually, give me a screwdriver.
Another soda?

307
00:13:02,096 --> 00:13:06,392
I got no place to be.
What am I, Annie?

308
00:13:06,392 --> 00:13:09,437
The first season, it's better
than the third season.

309
00:13:09,437 --> 00:13:11,230
The fourth season,
when you watch…

310
00:13:11,230 --> 00:13:13,274
Okay, um, what's your name?

311
00:13:13,274 --> 00:13:14,859
Abed, I'm Robert.
Abed.

312
00:13:14,859 --> 00:13:18,404
Abed, would you like to have
Hey, Robert.

313
00:13:18,404 --> 00:13:20,824
gay sex with me?

314
00:13:20,824 --> 00:13:23,451
Wow.
No, thank you.

315
00:13:23,451 --> 00:13:25,662
what is wrong with you,
Okay, so,

316
00:13:25,662 --> 00:13:27,789
that you can sit here
this whole time

317
00:13:27,789 --> 00:13:31,292
and never pick up on the fact
that a man is hitting on you?

318
00:13:31,292 --> 00:13:33,461
Oh, I actually did pick up
on it after a while.

319
00:13:33,461 --> 00:13:35,254
And?

320
00:13:35,254 --> 00:13:37,548
I really like talking
about Farscape.

321
00:13:42,094 --> 00:13:43,513
It's a really good show.

322
00:13:43,513 --> 00:13:44,889
Stargate is better.

323
00:13:49,101 --> 00:13:50,645
Battery depleted.

324
00:13:50,645 --> 00:13:53,189
Oh, man.

325
00:14:00,070 --> 00:14:02,281
Wait. You guys,
you guys.

326
00:14:02,281 --> 00:14:05,284
Hey there, what you been up to?

327
00:14:05,284 --> 00:14:08,830
poor souls in these photographs.
I was just praying for these

328
00:14:08,830 --> 00:14:10,289
Oh, that's nice,

329
00:14:10,289 --> 00:14:13,001
but, uh, you missed one.

330
00:14:13,001 --> 00:14:16,004
We found it in the ladies' room.

331
00:14:17,005 --> 00:14:18,381
No, no.
Give that to me.

332
00:14:18,381 --> 00:14:20,216
don't feel bad.
Come on,

333
00:14:20,216 --> 00:14:22,385
like you way more.
This makes us

334
00:14:22,385 --> 00:14:24,846
You think this is really funny?
A little.

335
00:14:24,846 --> 00:14:27,598
I had some bad years.

336
00:14:27,598 --> 00:14:29,099
With a chaser.
Come on.

337
00:14:29,099 --> 00:14:30,601
It's a funny picture

338
00:14:30,601 --> 00:14:32,478
because you act so perfect
all the time.

339
00:14:32,478 --> 00:14:34,355
And because you look
like a zombie.

340
00:14:34,355 --> 00:14:36,399
But it's not funny
when you're sad.

341
00:14:36,399 --> 00:14:38,275
We're on your team.
Relax, sit down.

342
00:14:38,275 --> 00:14:40,444
It's my birthday.
Give it to me.

343
00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:42,030
Give it to me.

344
00:14:43,907 --> 00:14:45,449
I will see you all on Monday.

345
00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:47,952
Mm-hm.
Sheesh.

346
00:14:47,952 --> 00:14:50,788
Boo Town.

347
00:14:50,788 --> 00:14:52,707
Shirley, wait.

348
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,502
Nothing, get out of my way.
What?

349
00:14:56,502 --> 00:14:58,504
I can't get out of your way.

350
00:14:58,504 --> 00:15:00,924
I'm stuck in this…
The chair broke…

351
00:15:00,924 --> 00:15:03,885
I mean, I can't get…

352
00:15:03,885 --> 00:15:05,428
Could you please help me?

353
00:15:06,345 --> 00:15:07,513
Pretty please?

354
00:15:09,557 --> 00:15:11,434
Thank you, Shirley.

355
00:15:11,434 --> 00:15:13,019
You're welcome, jackass.

356
00:15:15,145 --> 00:15:17,189
Hey, it's my birthday

357
00:15:17,189 --> 00:15:19,358
I'm not allowed to drink it
and technically

358
00:15:19,358 --> 00:15:21,527
for another 45 seconds.

359
00:15:21,527 --> 00:15:23,571
It'll be 30 seconds by the time
I'm done saying this,

360
00:15:23,571 --> 00:15:25,907
a Seven and Seven?
but can I have

361
00:15:25,907 --> 00:15:28,785
It's on the house.
Happy birthday, kid.

362
00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:38,920
I'd rather have
my eyes gouged out.

363
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,630
would be horrible…
A radio playing

364
00:15:48,387 --> 00:15:51,140
My big boy. Big, big boy.

365
00:15:51,140 --> 00:15:53,392
You're my big boy.

366
00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:14,038
Troy.

367
00:16:15,957 --> 00:16:17,667
I think I owe you a birthday.

368
00:16:17,667 --> 00:16:21,295
I'm cool. I actually always
wanted to drive this thing.

369
00:16:21,295 --> 00:16:23,006
What?

370
00:16:23,006 --> 00:16:25,591
Oh, is this my car?

371
00:16:25,591 --> 00:16:27,510
Don't crash it.
I'm not gonna crash it.

372
00:16:27,510 --> 00:16:28,803
Crash it, Troy.

373
00:16:28,803 --> 00:16:30,429
Go to sleep, Britta,
go to sleep.

374
00:16:30,429 --> 00:16:31,764
Crash his car, Troy.

375
00:16:31,764 --> 00:16:34,433
a dark chapter in our story.
This seems like

376
00:16:34,433 --> 00:16:36,769
Go to sleep, Abed.
Cool.

377
00:16:36,769 --> 00:16:40,397
we should've gone to tonight.
Hey, that's the place that

378
00:16:40,397 --> 00:16:42,316
Yeah, I Street, exactly.

379
00:16:42,316 --> 00:16:44,276
That's the Red Door, stupid.

380
00:16:44,276 --> 00:16:46,487
that says I Street?
Do you see a sign

381
00:16:46,487 --> 00:16:48,572
I Street is too cool
to have a sign.

382
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:50,616
It's called I Street
after the street it's on.

383
00:16:52,451 --> 00:16:55,412
I Street has a red…
The Red Door is on I Street.

384
00:16:58,082 --> 00:17:01,585
It's the same bar?
Hey!

385
00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:04,254
You two have been saying
one bar's lame

386
00:17:04,254 --> 00:17:08,134
is awesome all night,
and the other one

387
00:17:08,134 --> 00:17:10,928
and it's the same bar?

388
00:17:13,556 --> 00:17:16,059
there on Friday nights,
Well, he probably goes

389
00:17:16,059 --> 00:17:17,476
You wish…
which is lame.

390
00:17:17,476 --> 00:17:18,936
Stop, just stop.

391
00:17:18,936 --> 00:17:20,813
the last two years
I just spent

392
00:17:20,813 --> 00:17:23,900
thinking that you guys knew
more than me about life,

393
00:17:23,900 --> 00:17:26,903
you guys are just as dumb as me.
and I just found out that

394
00:17:28,612 --> 00:17:32,033
Yeah. Duh-doy.
Duh-doy.

395
00:17:33,576 --> 00:17:37,205
Got it. Duh-doy.

396
00:17:37,205 --> 00:17:39,082
Duh-doy.

397
00:17:39,082 --> 00:17:41,000
You can take me home first.

398
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,334
I only live
a few blocks from here.

399
00:17:42,334 --> 00:17:43,961
You do?

400
00:17:43,961 --> 00:17:46,089
Annie, this is a really
terrible neighborhood.

401
00:17:46,089 --> 00:17:47,423
Yeah.

402
00:17:50,218 --> 00:17:51,552
This is my apartment.

403
00:17:53,721 --> 00:17:54,931
Weird night, huh?

404
00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:57,892
alcohol makes people sad.
Yeah,

405
00:17:57,892 --> 00:17:59,936
It's like the Lifetime movies
of beverages.

406
00:17:59,936 --> 00:18:02,063
I pretended to be
a different person.

407
00:18:02,063 --> 00:18:04,065
three times a week.
Abed does that

408
00:18:04,065 --> 00:18:06,692
I didn't wanna be me.
I did it because

409
00:18:06,692 --> 00:18:11,072
I… I did it because
I'm not sure who I am.

410
00:18:11,072 --> 00:18:13,490
We went to school together
for four years

411
00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:14,867
and you didn't even know me.

412
00:18:14,867 --> 00:18:18,871
Yeah, but I know you now.
You're Annie.

413
00:18:18,871 --> 00:18:22,041
little monsters on your pencil
You like puzzles and

414
00:18:22,041 --> 00:18:24,543
named Mark Ruffalo.
and some guy

415
00:18:24,543 --> 00:18:27,463
You're a fierce competitor
and a sore loser.

416
00:18:27,463 --> 00:18:31,341
to be better than who they are
And you expect everybody

417
00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:34,720
to be better than everyone.
and you expect yourself

418
00:18:35,721 --> 00:18:37,556
Which is cool.

419
00:18:43,980 --> 00:18:45,522
Good night.

420
00:18:47,775 --> 00:18:50,569
I guess everyone's gonna be
embarrassed on Monday, huh?

421
00:18:50,569 --> 00:18:53,363
Nah. Everybody just got
a little bit drunk.

422
00:18:53,363 --> 00:18:55,658
Nobody did anything
that bad, right?

423
00:19:01,956 --> 00:19:04,625
No, wait, wait, wait.

424
00:19:04,625 --> 00:19:06,294
What are we doing?

425
00:19:06,294 --> 00:19:08,087
Yeah, what are we doing?

426
00:19:08,087 --> 00:19:10,173
This is a bad idea, right?

427
00:19:10,173 --> 00:19:11,924
Yeah.

428
00:19:19,182 --> 00:19:20,850
Okay.

429
00:19:22,893 --> 00:19:26,022
the handle earlier.
I flew off

430
00:19:26,022 --> 00:19:27,606
I apologize.

431
00:19:31,152 --> 00:19:32,236
They were making out.

432
00:19:32,236 --> 00:19:34,071
Why would you say that?
Abed!

433
00:19:34,071 --> 00:19:36,907
Why do it in front of me?
I'm not a coat rack.

434
00:19:36,907 --> 00:19:39,994
Abed, no one likes
a tattletale.

435
00:19:42,872 --> 00:19:45,541
Happy birthday, Troy.

436
00:19:45,541 --> 00:19:47,043
Thanks.

437
00:19:48,585 --> 00:19:50,587
You're a man now.

438
00:20:01,891 --> 00:20:03,392
this will be big enough.
Don't think

439
00:20:03,392 --> 00:20:05,311
Just try it, we're close.

440
00:20:05,311 --> 00:20:06,979
All right. Breathe in.

441
00:20:08,564 --> 00:20:10,524
All right.

442
00:20:10,524 --> 00:20:12,818
Arms.

443
00:20:12,818 --> 00:20:15,112
There we go, yeah.
There we go.

444
00:20:19,491 --> 00:20:21,618
We did it.
One hundred and fifty-seven.

445
00:20:23,453 --> 00:20:26,165
Yeah.
That you?

446
00:20:26,165 --> 00:20:27,750
Little help?

447
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:29,459
Hurry. I think it's a girl.

448
00:20:29,459 --> 00:20:31,337
Left side or right side?
Left side.

449
00:20:31,337 --> 00:20:32,713
Tell me when I'm close.
Got it.

450
00:20:32,713 --> 00:20:34,006
Okay.