hobgoblins, Draculas, A time of vampires,
boogens and headless mice.
I'm George Takei.
Let's just get to it. You know what?
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] [ABBA'S "WATERLOO"
How is it?
Pretty good taco meat.
scored this sweet spread. I wonder how the dean
never reveals her caterer. Ah-ah-ah. Chef Gaga
my pa- pa- pa- poker face. And don't try reading
from an Army surplus store. It's military rations
your poker face, I didn't read
you left the containers in the garbage.
you guys have fun. Oh, well, um,
take out the garbage. I'm gonna go
adjust your iTunes setting. You may also want to
When it's not playing
ABBA's greatest hits, an endless loop of
your personal voice memos. it's playing what may be
What?
Note to self: Get oil changed.
Check Netflix for that movie
where Greg Kinnear plays a ghost.
No, an angel.
And something called Human Centi…
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] [ABBA'S "WATERLOO"
David Beckham. Dragon turtle?
T-Rex.
much effort you put Man, I wonder how
accidentally handsome into being
for a costume every year.
Half the effort you'll be putting
into eating and drinking.
Let me help you, dragon turtle.
Guys, Shirley's costume
unwittingly ambiguous. is once again
what she's supposed to be, I don't know
she's not Miss Piggy. but I do know
she is not Miss Piggy. I repeat,
You're on your own.
Guess who I am. Hello.
Umm. Can't you just say?
No.
Pierce, are you okay?
Huh? What?
any more sweaty and puffy, Whoa. Hey, if you get
new levels of authenticity. your costume's gonna reach
Oh, I don't understand. Shut up.
the impression of him we do. He's acting like
"What?" "Where am I?"
"Where's the Black boy in the uniform?"
Get away from me! Leave me alone.
you think it's funny. Oh, man, just when
You know something? Pierce?
Okay, okay. Okay.
my friend is really sick. Excuse me, I think
I'm not a doctor.
I'm a doctor.
Rich, from pottery class. Annie.
Oh, hey.
Wow, this looks serious.
Let's get him over here. Okay.
in very good shape, is he? Boy, he is just not
But you look fantastic.
Oh, thank you.
Look at you, with your hood.
Right, between…
Oh, my God.
What is it?
Get away from those hotties.
You're safe now.
If that thing comes back,
of your phone numbers. I need one or both
Yeah, right.
MACHINERY WHIRRING] [IMITATES ROBOTIC
I don't get it.
How do you do it?
Well, I'm wearing a $6,000 suit,
making cardboard robot armor. and you spent three days
Saying they feel sorry for you?
I'm saying I remind girls
less of taking their little brothers to Comic-Con.
More? Rich.
Put her with the others.
Hundred and two. This may be food poisoning.
Rich, what did I tell you?
To rule out food poisoning. Yes.
But also not to say the words out loud.
my plank, huh? Hey. Who wants to walk
Okay, I'm ruling out food poisoning.
To run out of steam ♪ d Give me the hope
It can be here ♪ d Somebody said
Tied up, dead in a year ♪ d We could be roped up
They all just fade away d d One by one
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] [ABBA'S "S.O.S"
Guess who I am.
Michelle Kwan? Wrong.
Kristi Yamaguchi? Peggy Fleming.
Just been proven racist by the racist prover.
Hey, guess who I am.
Drink.
Have you noticed a weird vibe taking hold of this party?
every fifth person It's like
seriously hard-core. is on something
Yeah, I wonder who's holding
the key to your riddle.
Hey. Hey.
I'm trying something new. Where's your costume?
But our costumes go together.
And if you're not in yours,
I'm a guy in a spandex suit and a helmet.
Well, I'm a sexy Dracula. You mean vampire.
I don't need to know which Dracula I am
to be a Dracula.
Nerd.
are progressing even faster Your symptoms
than everyone else's.
How much of that taco meat did you eat?
I didn't eat any. My name is Alex.
Must have transferred through Pierce's bite.
My God, I think you're right.
quite the little nurse. Annie, you make
Thank you, Rich. You're quite a banana.
Jeez, why don't you guys just get a…?
But the only people getting sick are the ones eating
at your surplus store. what I bought
the stuff was delicious, I never said
but you can't get sick, it's non-perishable.
What about the taco meat stuff?
The classic flavor? The what?
The one with the goofy label. Huh?
What goofy label? Here.
"Classified Phoenix. What are you…?
repeat key phrase, "If found,
echo, tango, x-ray, nine, nine, seven."
Yeah, sounds delicious.
Anyway, it looks like taco meat and…
Hello?
Greendale Community College?
Speaking.
This is Special Operations Officer McHenry.
Hi.
I need you to listen to me very carefully.
Okay, one hint.
I'm a beloved character from our childhood.
I can't stop seeing it.
I know.
Leonard, behave. I'm a Christian woman.
Leonard, you better back that pumpkin ass up
or I will make a pie.
Hey, Jeff. It's me, Rich, from pottery class.
Doc Potterywood, remember?
Rich, bigger fish.
There's an infection at the party
making people act weird and bite each other.
We need to coordinate an evacuation
unnecessary panic. without causing
Leonard's a zombie. Holy crap,
Zombie attack!
Never mind.
Oh, my God.
Um. Um!
I'm sorry. Open the door!
a little baby quarantine I've been told we need
until the Army gets here. The Army?
I know, right?
They said to wait for six hours. Stay strong.
Guys, I hate to be the "we've got company" guy, but…
Hey, guess who I am.
Or don't.
Head to the back!
Oh, shoot!
You punched a lady bee.
Let go of the door, you little bitch.
Welcome.
Oh, thank God you're all right. Shirley, door.
Oh, he did it.
Okay, did we lose anybody there? No.
Is anybody hurt? No.
and I know it's a long shot. Last question,
Did anybody shut off the dean's playlist?
Two percent milk, eggs,
black light, whole milk… deodorant, Puppy Chow,
Cotton swabs. Okay.
a waking nightmare. It's officially
Add Eat Pray Love soundtrack to workout mix.
When are the police coming?
Help is on the way. Hello?
Help is on the way. Help… Hello?
Flavor Flav was right.
It's the end of days.
It can't be the end of days. It's not 2012 yet.
It's not the end of days.
It's a rabies-related pathogen
affecting the prefrontal cortex of the brain,
causing hyperaggression.
It could take years to take over the world.
One, one and a half. How many years?
2012, end of days.
End of days, end of days.
Good thinking, Jeff, vertical fold.
That jacket is worth more You making fun of me?
than the island you were grown on, Chiquita MD.
Chiquita MD, I like it.
This is a good time to let you know I hate you.
Shouldn't we be barricading the room?
These guys don't seem so… I don't know.
I will help you.
Wait, before you barricade us in,
if anyone has been bitten. I need to ask
You bit? Huh? You bit?
is spread through bites. This pathogen
If anyone has been bitten
ourselves in here with you, and you allow us to seal
you're putting us all in danger.
All right, go ahead.
Nice. Okay, I got the middle.
Barricade.
just gonna sit here? Are we really
Army's gonna be here in six hours.
Are they hosting the Oscars? Why six hours?
Damn. And the winner for Best Adapted Oscar Burn:
Jeff Winger for Oh, Snap: The Man Who Went There.
Judging from the temperatures, They don't have six hours.
gonna suffer brain damage. in three hours, they're
they're gonna be dead. After that,
What? We have to do something for them.
for the zombies? Do something
If we lower the temperature of the building,
would it break the fever and kill the virus?
It might.
I know where the thermostat is, out on the wall.
rise to the occasion Troy, we have to
like Ripley and kick butt.
I'm not Ripley, Abed. I'm a cool, sexy Dracula.
I make love to ladies and I survive.
I'm with Troy.
Guys, those are not zombies.
Those are our classmates and they're sick.
They can make us sick by biting us.
The banana said so. It's true.
only takes minutes. The incubation
then your skin turns red. You get a stomach ache,
muscle spasms, high fever. Followed by cold sweats,
Then the uncontrollable urge to bite uninfected flesh.
Oh, Jesus.
And I forgot one symptom.
Slurred speech.
You got bit!
I felt like maybe I was special.
You're not special. Special?
I'm special.
I was bit 10 minutes ago and I'm f…
Nobody's special! Oh, great.
Hey, Rich, just so you know, I hate you less now.
I hate your normal self. That's how much
You have to destroy the brain.
Hamster!
Way to go. Run, run! A hamster!
Head for the stairs! Look out.
What about Annie?
Don't look back. Why not? Oh!
Shirley.
Don't look back.
We have to go help them.
You can't help them by getting bit.
It's occupied.
Occupied.
Oh, this is how I die, as Miss Piggy.
You're Glinda the Good Witch. You're not Miss Piggy.
You knew?
Just so you know, I've always loved Peggy Fleming.
Mm-mm. You're not a racist.
Mm? Mm.
Get in. Get in.
A dark basement. Oh, cool.
I was just thinking
we should be doing this in a dark basement.
Troy, why did you ditch your costume?
Why bring that up now, Abed? We might die down here.
All the more reason to get this ironed out.
You called me a nerd. What defines a nerd?
Committing to a costume with your best friend,
is that what nerds do?
because I'm not a nerd, I don't know,
so I'm not taking part in this conversation.
Shh! Nerds!
Did you hear that?
Jeez!
It was just a cat. Let's keep moving.
Holy crap.
What is up with that cat?
Let's keep moving. Is someone throwing it?
Let's not keep moving,
because there is an insane cat down here.
But what about the zombies?
Back burner, Troy. This cat has to be dealt with.
There it is, grab it! Get him.
Let's go through there.
Door should lead upstairs, the thermostat…
the thermostat, Abed. Enough with
This is not "pretend playtime, save the world" time.
It's quarter past
out of this building" time. "let's get the hell
There. There's a window.
If we climb that fence,
we can hoist Troy against the wall
and then squeeze through it.
I vote we take the door.
He doesn't wanna dirty his suit.
For real?
Clothes make the man, Troy. What the…? Hey!
That's my jacket.
My jacket, you're stretching it.
You're stretching it!
Go back, go back, go back.
Don't stop. Keep going.
Now drop down, drop down. Move, move!
To the gate, to the gate.
I'm not going without you. Go.
Troy, make me proud.
Be the first Black man to make it to the end.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Abed.
I love you.
I know.
No! Don't make a mess.
Ah! Okay. Troy, be honest. Are you a zombie?
Give me the keys. I will mace you.
People are gonna get brain damage if someone doesn't help.
Troy, there is something called chain of command,
so unfortunately…
No.
Are you crazy?
How are you gonna survive those zombies?
I'm gonna be a nerd.
Better have a plan B.
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] [ABBA'S "MAMMA MIA"
MACHINERY WHIRRING] [IMITATES ROBOTIC
That's right.
the power of imagination. Prepare to meet
I thought this would work. Okay, I don't know why
Hey, get off me! Get off. You're so strong.
God, I hate this! Get off. Stop using your mouth.
Hello, zombie Annie.
What big fists you have, in your face.
Beam this up, Scotty.
In your face.
Zombie Shirley.
I don't know what you are, but in your face!
Abed, we're friends.
Abed, no! Ah! Britta.
I've been bit, y'all. Okay, okay.
Damn. Congrats.
You did what zombies do.
Jeff.
Still cool as a zombie.
PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] [ABBA'S "FERNANDO"
And full of life d d We were young
Prepared to die d d And none of us
In the air that night d d There was something
Out of the way, out of the way, out of the way!
We got movement inside. Lock down perimeter!
Speaking. You're Dean Pelton?
Wow, six hours on the dot.
practice makes perfect. Yeah, well,
You the only witness? I am.
All right.
Hey, we got uninfected in here.
How many are we talking?
Think it might be all of them.
All right, scenario B. Repeat, scenario B.
Let's dose these suckers.
Dose what now?
Going in.
Go to scenario B.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't remember anything.
It's not bad, right? There you go.
You remember nothing past your decision to be Lady Gaga?
I can't believe that somebody would
mass-roofie an entire party.
I can't believe it wasn't me. I can't believe I believe you.
And I don't.
Wanna watch a movie?
cyborgs or zombies? Sure. Aliens,
but I'm kind of over zombies. I don't know why,
Yeah, I don't feel like anything action-heavy.
How about something light? You seen Marmaduke?
went back to the dormitory And so Troy and Abed
for a viewing of Marmaduke.
I'm George Takei.
And if your name is Kevin,
here's a little freebie for your cell phone.
Hi, Kevin can't come to the phone.
He's on a spaceship with me, George Takei.
Please leave a message.
You're welcome, Kevins.
Happy Halloween.
Voice mail.
October 31st, 11:20 p.m.
Troy, this is Chang.
There's not much time.
we're gonna make it. I don't think
Listen, if you survive,
please spread this message for me:
totally did it. Shirley and I
Chang, what are you doing?
Nothing.
Gotta go.
Why did he call me?