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00:00:06,234 --> 00:00:07,569
And we're back.

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00:00:07,569 --> 00:00:11,657
"BABY FRATELLI" PLAYING]
[THE FRATELLIS'

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Watching everyone go by d
d I was just busy

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00:00:29,675 --> 00:00:33,721
Though I can't stand her d
d She got my number

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00:00:41,603 --> 00:00:44,063
Welcome, students,
new and old,

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00:00:44,063 --> 00:00:47,735
to another fall semester
at Greendale.

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00:00:47,735 --> 00:00:50,738
It's time for clean slates
and fresh starts.

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00:00:50,738 --> 00:00:53,615
Celebrate your fresh start
tonight

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00:00:53,615 --> 00:00:56,660
at the Fresh-Start Dance
in the cafeteria.

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00:00:56,660 --> 00:00:58,871
The same cafeteria
where Britta Perry

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professed her love
to Jeff Winger

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who then walked out on her.
Unforgettable.

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and Fresh-Start cookies
Plus, free punch

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00:01:06,837 --> 00:01:09,840
at the Fresh-Start Dance.
tonight

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Look at us, living together,
driving to school together.

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we're like Batman and Shaft.
I know,

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00:01:15,721 --> 00:01:18,390
Batman actually had a guy.
His name was Robin.

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He rode around with him.

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didn't have to be Robin,
Troy, Batman's friend

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he could've been Shaft,
Dolemite, Leroy Brown.

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Don't let society
limit your people.

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"Batman and Shaft," wow.

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Reading Troy's Twitter where he
posts everything Pierce says?

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Yeah, "A White Man Says."
It's hilarious.

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Hey.
Hello, Annie.

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00:01:42,539 --> 00:01:44,083
Thank you, Abed.
I like your hair.

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You're welcome.
Jeffrey, hello.

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Hey. How was your summer?
I live with you.

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How was your summer?
Great.

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Oh, okay.

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Hey.

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It's good to be back here.

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Okay.
I know.

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00:01:58,097 --> 00:02:01,767
for whatever Anthropology is?
So you guys ready

35
00:02:01,767 --> 00:02:03,310
We should wait for Britta.

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she's coming back?
Do we know

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She never returned my calls
or e-mails.

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Me neither.

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It's not gonna be the same
without her.

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Did you guys see Toy Story 3?
Yes.

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Oh, I loved Toy Story 3.

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It was amazing, I love…
Hey!

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Whoa!
Oh!

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Hey, Toy Story… Britta.
How's it going?

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Okay, yeah, yeah.

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I made an ass of myself
and Jeff at that dance.

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I was caught up
in a competition

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of an ex-girlfriend,
with his turd

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00:02:33,173 --> 00:02:35,509
and I wish I could erase
the entire night.

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00:02:35,509 --> 00:02:37,052
And I owe you an apology.

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I accept.

52
00:02:38,345 --> 00:02:39,972
You don't owe us
anything

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00:02:39,972 --> 00:02:42,182
and you don't have
to hide from us.

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You? I'm hiding from them.

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It's like high school
all over again.

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00:02:46,227 --> 00:02:48,522
the walking freak show
Psycho Britta,

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00:02:48,522 --> 00:02:50,941
with a Cosmo subscription.
for every Barbie

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Look, I don't mean to be a tool,
but you embarrassed me too,

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so call it karma.

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I hope I'm not around
Whoa, boy,

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when you do mean
to be a tool.

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Let's just put this behind us
and just walk to class, okay?

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Yeah.
Yeah.

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You're Britta Perry?

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Yeah, what's it to you?

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You're the coolest.

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Right. Um…

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00:03:16,424 --> 00:03:17,926
At what exactly?

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speaking from your heart.
Being fearless, honest,

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"Jeff Winger, I love you."

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Right. Um…

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may have overstated…
My heart

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Do you sign stuff?
Now and again.

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Awesome.

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where that's going.
I don't like

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I know, right? Heh.

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Look,

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um, remember the little talk
we had?

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Yes. Stop that.
The one about discretion?

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We agreed you and I kissing
was a mistake.

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If anyone were to find out,
I would be tarred, feathered,

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and put on websites people
check when buying a house.

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It's forgotten,
Jeff, jeez.

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I'm not some love-struck
teenybopper.

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00:03:57,257 --> 00:03:59,843
But we didn't just kiss,
we technically Frenched.

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I checked the make-out meter
in this month's issue of

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National Review.

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00:04:08,936 --> 00:04:11,188
where that's going.
I don't like

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To run out of steam ♪
d Give me the hope

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00:04:18,403 --> 00:04:21,531
It can be here ♪
d Somebody said

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00:04:21,531 --> 00:04:25,827
Tied up, dead in a year ♪
d We could be roped up

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They all just fade away d
d One by one

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Señor Chang.

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Oh, wait, I guess
it's not señor anymore.

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00:04:44,596 --> 00:04:46,473
What should we call you?
Student Chang?

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00:04:46,473 --> 00:04:48,183
a-Music-Major Chang?
Two-Credits-Into-

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00:04:48,183 --> 00:04:51,270
How about not calling me
anything? Hmm?

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00:04:51,270 --> 00:04:52,854
Why are you guys
in this class?

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00:04:52,854 --> 00:04:54,355
We chose it together.

100
00:04:54,355 --> 00:04:56,942
The real question is,
why are you in it?

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00:04:56,942 --> 00:04:58,110
Oh, you missed us?

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00:04:58,110 --> 00:05:00,612
Don't flatter yourself.
Oh.

103
00:05:00,612 --> 00:05:02,614
the course description?
Have you checked

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00:05:02,614 --> 00:05:06,160
Genital mutilation.
Ancient weaponry.

105
00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,287
talking my Chang-uage.
This subject's

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Ugh.

107
00:05:09,997 --> 00:05:12,124
AND APPLAUDING]
[ALL CHEERING

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00:05:18,088 --> 00:05:19,506
I don't get it.

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Star-Burns has grown reliant
on his sideburns

110
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but craves identity beyond them,
so he added a hat.

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00:05:25,386 --> 00:05:26,972
with Britta mania?
No, what's up

112
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Oh, that's even simpler.

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00:05:28,807 --> 00:05:31,852
Britta put herself out there
and you walked away,

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00:05:31,852 --> 00:05:34,104
making her the underdog,
the Aniston.

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00:05:34,104 --> 00:05:36,481
Yeah.
That's ridiculous.

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Have any hillbilly cousins?
I wish, why?

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00:05:39,109 --> 00:05:40,443
A wealthy uncle,

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or buddy that may have
had a sex change?

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00:05:42,529 --> 00:05:45,324
Why are you mining my life
for sitcom scenarios?

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00:05:45,324 --> 00:05:47,909
I'm excited about the year,
looking to improve.

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from the relationship-y stuff
I'm hoping we can move away

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into fast-paced escapades.

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What is it exactly

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00:05:54,582 --> 00:05:57,127
that separates man
from animal?

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Divorce.

126
00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:10,724
Tools.

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Like this blowgun I used
to hunt monkeys

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00:06:13,227 --> 00:06:14,978
with the Korubo
in the Amazon.

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00:06:14,978 --> 00:06:17,522
is Professor June Bauer,
My name

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00:06:17,522 --> 00:06:19,524
and this semester
I will guide you

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to the very threshold
of your humanity

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where you will lock eyes
with the shrieking,

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sister-raping beasts
blood-drenched,

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from which we sprang.

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00:06:29,576 --> 00:06:31,870
You will also have
to make a diorama.

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00:06:31,870 --> 00:06:34,622
For your first assignment,

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00:06:34,622 --> 00:06:37,834
I would like you to form tribes
of no more than eight,

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00:06:37,834 --> 00:06:41,088
mix up the races.
and if you can,

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You'll be surprised

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00:06:42,381 --> 00:06:44,174
at how quickly things
get awkward.

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00:06:46,343 --> 00:06:50,347
Now that Troy's off the streets
and living with me,

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00:06:50,347 --> 00:06:52,224
about the world.
he's learning

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00:06:52,224 --> 00:06:53,975
Yeah. Tell me again

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why Jewish people
wear yarmulkes.

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Half a hat, saves money.

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00:06:57,771 --> 00:07:00,107
Thank you.

147
00:07:00,107 --> 00:07:03,651
That is so offensive.
"Half a hat"?

148
00:07:03,651 --> 00:07:05,862
I love Old White Man Says.

149
00:07:05,862 --> 00:07:08,407
Hey, find an eighth dork
for your tribe of dorks?

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00:07:08,407 --> 00:07:10,450
I think you took
Anthropology

151
00:07:10,450 --> 00:07:12,119
because you wanna be
in our group

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but are too proud to ask.

153
00:07:13,287 --> 00:07:14,955
Keep dreaming, Winger.
What?

154
00:07:14,955 --> 00:07:18,499
too much pride do this?
Would somebody with

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00:07:18,499 --> 00:07:22,087
Current balance: $23.20.

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00:07:22,087 --> 00:07:24,923
Consider yourself Chang'd.

157
00:07:26,507 --> 00:07:28,468
Mac and cheese, please.

158
00:07:28,468 --> 00:07:31,763
Sorry, looks like your food
just walked out on you.

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00:07:31,763 --> 00:07:33,765
Same way you did Britta.

160
00:07:39,562 --> 00:07:41,689
Hey, can we talk?

161
00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:43,108
Oh, now he wants to talk.

162
00:07:43,108 --> 00:07:44,901
I'll be right back.
No, it's fine,

163
00:07:46,736 --> 00:07:49,823
you got some passionate fans.
Man,

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00:07:49,823 --> 00:07:51,408
Eh. It'll blow over.

165
00:07:51,408 --> 00:07:54,286
helping it blow over?
Well, would you mind

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00:07:54,286 --> 00:07:56,997
of plummeting around here.
My stock is kind

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00:07:56,997 --> 00:07:59,833
to sound like a tool,
Oh, I don't mean

168
00:07:59,833 --> 00:08:01,835
but maybe it's karma.

169
00:08:01,835 --> 00:08:04,171
to be popular with women,
I know you're excited

170
00:08:04,171 --> 00:08:06,756
but don't get too high
on your own drama.

171
00:08:06,756 --> 00:08:10,135
High on my own drama?

172
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The people's champion.

173
00:08:15,515 --> 00:08:18,268
I gotta go where the heat is.
Sorry, man,

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00:08:18,268 --> 00:08:20,437
Jeff Winger, you're a jerk.

175
00:08:22,105 --> 00:08:24,483
She's turned every woman
on campus against me.

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00:08:24,483 --> 00:08:27,735
that deserves to be with you.
Not every woman, not the one

177
00:08:27,735 --> 00:08:29,946
deserve to be with me,
All women

178
00:08:29,946 --> 00:08:31,448
Granted,
and vice versa.

179
00:08:31,448 --> 00:08:33,283
eventually settle down?
but who doesn't

180
00:08:33,283 --> 00:08:35,535
I don't, and I never will.
And if I did…

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00:08:38,205 --> 00:08:40,874
If I did,

182
00:08:40,874 --> 00:08:44,044
I could beat Britta
at her own game.

183
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Oh, good.

184
00:08:46,713 --> 00:08:49,508
you better take a hike.
Yeah,

185
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:52,593
the cleanest bathroom is?
Do you know where

186
00:08:52,593 --> 00:08:55,055
Teacher's lounge.
Thank you.

187
00:08:55,055 --> 00:08:57,682
Don't be shy, come on up,
have a sip.

188
00:08:57,682 --> 00:09:01,520
by its restorative powers.
The yogi of India swear

189
00:09:02,687 --> 00:09:07,025
more of my urine for me.
Okay,

190
00:09:07,025 --> 00:09:08,985
for your tribe's assignment.
Now

191
00:09:08,985 --> 00:09:12,989
nine different tools,
This box contains

192
00:09:12,989 --> 00:09:16,243
to humanity's survival.
all of them important

193
00:09:16,243 --> 00:09:20,247
is the most important of all.
One of them

194
00:09:20,247 --> 00:09:22,957
Your tribe's assignment
for tomorrow

195
00:09:22,957 --> 00:09:26,336
which tool that is.
is to tell me

196
00:09:26,336 --> 00:09:29,005
I have a question.
Questions?

197
00:09:29,005 --> 00:09:31,007
But not for you.

198
00:09:31,007 --> 00:09:32,717
It's for Britta.

199
00:09:34,844 --> 00:09:36,513
Britta.

200
00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:38,181
I love you.

201
00:09:42,810 --> 00:09:44,938
I know this puts you
in an awkwardly

202
00:09:44,938 --> 00:09:47,566
powerful position,
but I have to know, right now,

203
00:09:47,566 --> 00:09:50,569
in front of everyone,
do you love me too?

204
00:09:54,322 --> 00:09:56,741
More than anything
in the world.

205
00:09:59,578 --> 00:10:00,912
Really?

206
00:10:00,912 --> 00:10:02,414
Yeah.

207
00:10:02,414 --> 00:10:07,586
So it begins.
Hmm.

208
00:10:07,586 --> 00:10:11,631
The greatest relationship
ever known.

209
00:10:22,058 --> 00:10:24,478
This is making me sick.

210
00:10:27,772 --> 00:10:29,732
I'm gonna love you forever.

211
00:10:29,732 --> 00:10:31,692
I'm gonna love you forever.
Good,

212
00:10:31,692 --> 00:10:33,528
I don't believe you.

213
00:10:33,528 --> 00:10:35,196
Why, don't you want me to?

214
00:10:35,196 --> 00:10:36,990
No, I do. Bring it.

215
00:10:38,116 --> 00:10:40,619
Doesn't it make you
wanna cry?

216
00:10:40,619 --> 00:10:42,912
Something like that.
Excuse me.

217
00:10:42,912 --> 00:10:45,499
that makes me think of you.
I downloaded a song

218
00:10:45,499 --> 00:10:49,127
each using one ear bud.
Let's listen to it,

219
00:10:51,254 --> 00:10:53,381
spinning off with me?
Would you consider

220
00:10:53,381 --> 00:10:55,550
Just riffing, we could
open a hair salon.

221
00:10:55,550 --> 00:10:58,052
I don't understand.
Is this you being meta?

222
00:10:58,052 --> 00:11:00,054
I wanted to come out
having adventures,

223
00:11:00,054 --> 00:11:02,265
like paintball.
This is boring.

224
00:11:02,265 --> 00:11:05,310
That's selfish, Abed.
If you were a friend,

225
00:11:05,310 --> 00:11:07,812
you'd see their relationship
as an adventure.

226
00:11:07,812 --> 00:11:09,564
about it that way.
I hadn't thought

227
00:11:09,564 --> 00:11:11,566
Oh! Look at how they walk.

228
00:11:15,195 --> 00:11:17,489
the most important tool
Clearly,

229
00:11:17,489 --> 00:11:19,449
representing Christianity.
is the cross,

230
00:11:19,449 --> 00:11:21,451
It's an ax?
It's an ax.

231
00:11:21,451 --> 00:11:22,952
Maybe the telescope.

232
00:11:22,952 --> 00:11:25,330
Look through it backwards,
shrink your enemies.

233
00:11:25,330 --> 00:11:26,956
I'll show you the tool

234
00:11:26,956 --> 00:11:28,625
that's most important
to our survival,

235
00:11:28,625 --> 00:11:31,211
but fair warning,
it's my penis.

236
00:11:35,507 --> 00:11:37,133
BEEPING AND BUZZING]
[CELL PHONES

237
00:11:38,510 --> 00:11:40,595
Old White Man.
Sorry I'm late.

238
00:11:40,595 --> 00:11:42,805
I was in my car
loving Britta.

239
00:11:47,101 --> 00:11:48,645
I just love you too much.

240
00:11:48,645 --> 00:11:50,146
Not half as much as me.

241
00:11:50,146 --> 00:11:51,565
Aww.

242
00:11:51,565 --> 00:11:53,107
you'll marry Britta?
Do you think

243
00:11:53,107 --> 00:11:54,942
I'd like to see
someone stop me.

244
00:11:54,942 --> 00:11:56,444
I just peed a little.

245
00:11:57,195 --> 00:11:58,697
Then here, propose.

246
00:11:58,697 --> 00:11:59,780
Oh.

247
00:12:03,618 --> 00:12:05,203
I got it, I got it, got it.

248
00:12:05,203 --> 00:12:08,873
will you marry me?
Jeff Winger,

249
00:12:08,873 --> 00:12:10,833
No problem. No problem.
Yeah, of course.

250
00:12:12,586 --> 00:12:14,128
I'll be right back.
Perfect,

251
00:12:15,505 --> 00:12:17,465
Thank the Lord.

252
00:12:17,465 --> 00:12:19,092
about your souls,
I was so worried

253
00:12:19,092 --> 00:12:21,219
pre-marital sex on the table.
ever since you had

254
00:12:25,181 --> 00:12:26,516
Awesome.

255
00:12:26,516 --> 00:12:27,934
You told Shirley?

256
00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:29,227
No need for secrecy now.

257
00:12:29,227 --> 00:12:30,729
the paintball game.
It was during

258
00:12:30,729 --> 00:12:33,022
you didn't win that day?
Was there anything

259
00:12:35,066 --> 00:12:36,443
Oh, my God!

260
00:12:36,443 --> 00:12:39,446
and then kissed me?
You slept with her

261
00:12:39,446 --> 00:12:40,739
What?

262
00:12:47,746 --> 00:12:52,166
She's such a fool for him ♪
♪ You know

263
00:13:05,096 --> 00:13:07,932
What the hell is this?
A wedding episode.

264
00:13:07,932 --> 00:13:09,559
Abed, there's no wedding.

265
00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:12,270
Cold feet? Talk with your
best man, George Clooney.

266
00:13:12,270 --> 00:13:13,480
What's up?

267
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:14,773
He's an impersonator.

268
00:13:14,773 --> 00:13:16,149
But still razzle-dazzle,
right?

269
00:13:16,149 --> 00:13:18,985
Hmm?
Abed.

270
00:13:18,985 --> 00:13:20,737
Jeff made out
with Annie.

271
00:13:20,737 --> 00:13:23,323
Yeah, where?
What? When? Where?

272
00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:25,700
That's inappropriate.
I'm assuming on the mouth.

273
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:27,910
After the Transfer Dance.

274
00:13:27,910 --> 00:13:29,496
I tell you that I love you,

275
00:13:29,496 --> 00:13:32,373
then you go and stick
your tongue into a teenager?

276
00:13:32,373 --> 00:13:34,250
What is wrong with you,
Jeffrey?

277
00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:37,920
Shirley, since you have
clearly failed to grasp

278
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,714
the central insipid metaphor

279
00:13:39,714 --> 00:13:41,549
of those Twilight books
you devour,

280
00:13:41,549 --> 00:13:42,883
let me explain it to you.

281
00:13:42,883 --> 00:13:44,177
Men are monsters

282
00:13:44,177 --> 00:13:46,053
who crave young flesh,
the end.

283
00:13:46,053 --> 00:13:49,098
At least we have the decency
to keep it a secret.

284
00:13:49,098 --> 00:13:51,267
Instead of blurting
"I love you"

285
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,644
who sleeps with us.
to everyone

286
00:13:52,644 --> 00:13:54,395
I never loved you.
Oh, please,

287
00:13:54,395 --> 00:13:56,230
Ah-ha!

288
00:13:56,230 --> 00:14:00,109
I win, I win, I win.
In your face.

289
00:14:00,109 --> 00:14:01,986
So this was all a game?

290
00:14:01,986 --> 00:14:04,322
is some sick competition.
Everything they do

291
00:14:04,322 --> 00:14:06,157
Like you hate
competition.

292
00:14:06,157 --> 00:14:07,742
How long did it take you
to kiss Jeff

293
00:14:07,742 --> 00:14:09,868
I told him I loved him?
after

294
00:14:09,868 --> 00:14:12,205
First Vaughn, now Jeff.
Oh, that's right.

295
00:14:12,205 --> 00:14:14,165
at that wall outlet
I better not smile

296
00:14:14,165 --> 00:14:15,583
your tongue off!
or you'll fry

297
00:14:15,583 --> 00:14:16,959
Way to hog all the girls.

298
00:14:16,959 --> 00:14:19,462
When there's three
doughnuts,

299
00:14:19,462 --> 00:14:21,464
and lick another.
don't eat one

300
00:14:21,464 --> 00:14:23,883
Anyone object to us being
referred to as doughnuts?

301
00:14:23,883 --> 00:14:26,469
Sorry we can't all be
as honorable as you, Troy

302
00:14:26,469 --> 00:14:28,971
and post Pierce quotes
all day on Twitter.

303
00:14:28,971 --> 00:14:31,140
is that your lame attempt
Wow,

304
00:14:31,140 --> 00:14:32,933
the hot seat to me?
to try and pass

305
00:14:32,933 --> 00:14:34,185
Nice try.

306
00:14:34,185 --> 00:14:36,020
I'm Old White Man Says?
Wait,

307
00:14:36,020 --> 00:14:38,606
No wonder he says
everything I'm thinking.

308
00:14:38,606 --> 00:14:41,234
You bastard.

309
00:14:41,234 --> 00:14:43,069
I'm just sharing
what you say.

310
00:14:43,069 --> 00:14:46,113
Yeah, well, what if I shared
all the stuff you say?

311
00:14:46,113 --> 00:14:48,658
He thinks all dogs are boys
and all cats are girls.

312
00:14:48,658 --> 00:14:50,493
to disprove that.
There's no way

313
00:14:50,493 --> 00:14:52,203
Have you ever seen
a cat penis?

314
00:14:52,203 --> 00:14:54,247
Where you going?

315
00:14:54,247 --> 00:14:56,624
By the power vested in me,
I now pronounce you

316
00:14:56,624 --> 00:14:57,751
canceled.

317
00:14:57,751 --> 00:14:59,836
Yeah, Abed, cancel us.
Oh, good.

318
00:14:59,836 --> 00:15:01,796
Why don't you take
your cutesy

319
00:15:01,796 --> 00:15:04,674
"I can't tell life from TV"
gimmick with you?

320
00:15:04,674 --> 00:15:06,760
it's very "season one."
You know,

321
00:15:11,931 --> 00:15:13,808
I can tell life from TV,
Jeff.

322
00:15:13,808 --> 00:15:16,603
it has structure, logic, rules,
TV makes sense,

323
00:15:16,603 --> 00:15:18,855
and likable leading men.

324
00:15:18,855 --> 00:15:21,274
In life, we have this.

325
00:15:21,274 --> 00:15:22,734
We have you.

326
00:15:29,073 --> 00:15:31,618
Ahem. I'm on the clock
for another hour

327
00:15:31,618 --> 00:15:34,078
if you want me to do
some Batman lines.

328
00:15:53,013 --> 00:15:54,808
with your little group?
Not sitting

329
00:15:54,808 --> 00:15:56,350
I think the group is done.

330
00:15:56,350 --> 00:16:00,104
Yeah, well, missionary
accomplished, right?

331
00:16:00,104 --> 00:16:01,397
What does that mean?

332
00:16:01,397 --> 00:16:04,358
Come on, I know you
and Britta did it.

333
00:16:04,358 --> 00:16:06,945
you got with those people
Isn't the reason

334
00:16:06,945 --> 00:16:09,196
because you wanted
to bang the blond?

335
00:16:09,196 --> 00:16:11,991
Now I hear that you
Frenched the brunette.

336
00:16:11,991 --> 00:16:14,327
gotten out of that group?
What more could you have

337
00:16:15,912 --> 00:16:17,497
Good morning, class.

338
00:16:17,497 --> 00:16:19,999
and hear the results
Let's dive in

339
00:16:19,999 --> 00:16:21,459
of your assignment.

340
00:16:21,459 --> 00:16:23,962
Who wants to go first?

341
00:16:23,962 --> 00:16:26,881
the last time I called on you,
I don't know, Mr. Winger,

342
00:16:26,881 --> 00:16:29,342
what the Maku-Maku call
I kind of got

343
00:16:29,342 --> 00:16:30,510
"dirt-roaded."

344
00:16:30,510 --> 00:16:32,470
Using it.

345
00:16:32,470 --> 00:16:34,555
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.

346
00:16:34,555 --> 00:16:36,808
Come on up.

347
00:16:36,808 --> 00:16:38,267
It was a trick question.

348
00:16:38,267 --> 00:16:42,480
The tool most important
to humanity's survival

349
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,357
wasn't any of the nine
in the box.

350
00:16:44,357 --> 00:16:45,900
Go on.

351
00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:49,821
The most important tool
is respect.

352
00:16:49,821 --> 00:16:52,490
Ha! Gay.

353
00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:55,576
And the reason I know
respect is a tool

354
00:16:55,576 --> 00:16:59,288
is because it is clearly
not a natural thing

355
00:16:59,288 --> 00:17:01,165
to use it all the time.
and we forget

356
00:17:01,165 --> 00:17:03,584
And then we start competing
with each other,

357
00:17:03,584 --> 00:17:05,419
exploiting each other,

358
00:17:05,419 --> 00:17:08,923
and controlling each other.
humiliating each other

359
00:17:08,923 --> 00:17:11,384
And we lose each other.

360
00:17:11,384 --> 00:17:15,095
And without each other,
we'll go extinct.

361
00:17:16,014 --> 00:17:17,223
And that's a fact.

362
00:17:17,223 --> 00:17:18,933
Heh. A gay fact.

363
00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:20,685
That's my answer, professor.

364
00:17:24,856 --> 00:17:27,025
Well, that's one answer.

365
00:17:27,025 --> 00:17:28,568
Here's the one
I had in mind.

366
00:17:28,568 --> 00:17:35,408
Combining all nine tools,
you get this,

367
00:17:35,408 --> 00:17:39,119
than any one item in the box.
a deadlier weapon

368
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:42,415
So I'm gonna use this
to attack you,

369
00:17:42,415 --> 00:17:46,126
and you use respect
to defend yourself.

370
00:17:46,126 --> 00:17:47,545
Uh… Oh… Uh…

371
00:17:52,466 --> 00:17:54,134
Oh, my God.
Jeffrey.

372
00:17:54,134 --> 00:17:57,221
I respect you.

373
00:17:57,221 --> 00:17:59,974
That's why you fail.

374
00:18:01,851 --> 00:18:04,062
Oh, my God.
Jeffrey.

375
00:18:04,062 --> 00:18:06,355
He's passing out.

376
00:18:07,356 --> 00:18:09,442
Stay with us, buddy.

377
00:18:11,569 --> 00:18:13,195
Hello.
Oh, thank God.

378
00:18:13,195 --> 00:18:14,363
What happened?

379
00:18:14,363 --> 00:18:15,823
Professor Bauer
got suspended,

380
00:18:15,823 --> 00:18:17,491
and we got an A
on our assignment.

381
00:18:17,491 --> 00:18:20,160
Did someone throw urine
in my face?

382
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:22,622
I surprise myself
under pressure.

383
00:18:22,622 --> 00:18:23,873
Jeff, about the assignment,

384
00:18:23,873 --> 00:18:26,292
you had the right answer.
we decided

385
00:18:26,292 --> 00:18:29,420
and a little less passion.
We need more respect

386
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:32,715
Which will be easy because
I think you're gross now.

387
00:18:32,715 --> 00:18:33,925
Awesome.

388
00:18:33,925 --> 00:18:35,718
that Twitter account.
I'm gonna delete

389
00:18:35,718 --> 00:18:37,344
is more important
Your friendship

390
00:18:37,344 --> 00:18:38,888
than 600,000 strangers.

391
00:18:38,888 --> 00:18:40,556
Whoa, whoa.

392
00:18:40,556 --> 00:18:43,142
Are you saying 600,000 people
read what I say on Twitter?

393
00:18:43,142 --> 00:18:45,436
we gotta cash in on that.
Well,

394
00:18:45,436 --> 00:18:48,856
How about Old White Man Says,
the TV Show?

395
00:18:48,856 --> 00:18:50,066
No.

396
00:18:50,066 --> 00:18:51,859
Who would watch that?

397
00:18:51,859 --> 00:18:54,194
strategy, I owe you an apology.
Speaking of bad development

398
00:18:54,194 --> 00:18:55,989
to make our week great,
I was trying so hard

399
00:18:55,989 --> 00:18:57,991
I didn't realize
something great.

400
00:18:57,991 --> 00:19:00,200
drinking her own pee.
An old woman

401
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,953
That's true.
You're right.

402
00:19:01,953 --> 00:19:04,122
Guys?

403
00:19:04,122 --> 00:19:06,290
I got a confession.
I took Anthropology

404
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:08,292
because I wanna be a part
of your study group.

405
00:19:10,336 --> 00:19:13,297
Now I gotta do the honest thing
and just ask.

406
00:19:13,297 --> 00:19:16,009
Is there any room
in this pocket

407
00:19:16,009 --> 00:19:18,011
for a little spare Chang?

408
00:19:18,011 --> 00:19:22,849
Uh… Look, we've been
through a lot today.

409
00:19:22,849 --> 00:19:25,059
Give us a little time
to think it over.

410
00:19:25,059 --> 00:19:26,727
Totally, man.

411
00:19:26,727 --> 00:19:29,981
Take your time and let me know.
Just think about it.

412
00:19:29,981 --> 00:19:31,691
Bye.
See you, Chang.

413
00:19:31,691 --> 00:19:33,151
Bye.

414
00:19:33,151 --> 00:19:34,819
Aww. Poor guy.

415
00:19:34,819 --> 00:19:37,113
Says who?
We'll let him in eventually.

416
00:19:37,113 --> 00:19:39,699
We have the strength
to survive anything.

417
00:19:39,699 --> 00:19:41,742
that can happen with Chang?
What's the worst

418
00:19:41,742 --> 00:19:44,328
Yeah, that's true.
Good point.

419
00:19:46,164 --> 00:19:48,624
I told you they hate you.

420
00:19:50,751 --> 00:19:54,338
just needed more time.
No, they said they

421
00:19:54,338 --> 00:19:57,633
Time? They destroyed your life.

422
00:19:57,633 --> 00:20:01,179
before we take revenge?
How much time

423
00:20:01,179 --> 00:20:02,889
But they're my friends.

424
00:20:02,889 --> 00:20:05,099
I'm your only friend.

425
00:20:05,099 --> 00:20:07,143
No.

426
00:20:07,143 --> 00:20:09,187
No.

427
00:20:09,187 --> 00:20:11,064
No!

428
00:20:33,502 --> 00:20:35,295
They bring the paper in ♪
♪ But now

429
00:20:35,295 --> 00:20:39,050
To get me away from you ♪
♪ It's gonna take a lot

430
00:20:40,801 --> 00:20:43,137
That a hundred men or more ♪
♪ There's nothing