1 00:00:10,751 --> 00:00:12,753 Thanks for a great year. You got it. 2 00:00:12,753 --> 00:00:17,799 Mr. Winger. I hope you will be seizing the day this summer. 3 00:00:17,799 --> 00:00:20,052 Thanks, Professor Whitman. And I hope you'll be seizing 4 00:00:20,052 --> 00:00:22,096 a more contemporary movie. 5 00:00:22,096 --> 00:00:24,305 Looking good, Leonard. Stroke or tai chi? 6 00:00:24,305 --> 00:00:26,641 Tai chi. Keep it up. 7 00:00:26,641 --> 00:00:29,519 And keep up whatever it is you're doing, Garrett. 8 00:00:29,519 --> 00:00:32,439 It's called chillaxing. Duh. 9 00:00:32,439 --> 00:00:34,441 Hey-hey, what's up, Jeff? Hi. 10 00:00:34,441 --> 00:00:36,902 Hello, good morning, howdy. 11 00:00:36,902 --> 00:00:39,654 Wait, Jeff. I'll walk with you. 12 00:00:39,654 --> 00:00:41,115 I'll see you. Okay. 13 00:00:42,824 --> 00:00:46,494 Uh, I got class in, like, five hours, so… 14 00:00:46,494 --> 00:00:49,081 All right, I'll see you, babe. Sayonara. 15 00:00:49,081 --> 00:00:51,875 Can't believe I made it through my first year of college. 16 00:00:51,875 --> 00:00:53,334 I finally get to click "send" 17 00:00:53,334 --> 00:00:55,045 on so many I-told-you-so e-mails. 18 00:00:55,045 --> 00:00:57,172 Yeah, it's pretty great. Not much could ruin today. 19 00:00:57,172 --> 00:00:58,799 Hi. Oh, shoot. 20 00:00:58,799 --> 00:01:00,801 I forgot saying that summons him. 21 00:01:00,801 --> 00:01:02,970 Will you two be attending tomorrow's transfer ceremony 22 00:01:02,970 --> 00:01:04,263 to send off all the students 23 00:01:04,263 --> 00:01:06,056 leaving for so-called real schools? 24 00:01:06,056 --> 00:01:07,766 There's a formal dance afterward. 25 00:01:07,766 --> 00:01:10,185 How many dances is this school gonna have? 26 00:01:10,185 --> 00:01:12,312 Five. If you come to all of them, 27 00:01:12,312 --> 00:01:14,273 you get one of these. 28 00:01:14,273 --> 00:01:16,441 I assumed your whole posse would be coming, 29 00:01:16,441 --> 00:01:19,861 having heard the exciting news about Britta. 30 00:01:19,861 --> 00:01:21,696 Banana rhino. 31 00:01:21,696 --> 00:01:24,116 Banana Sam Elliott. 32 00:01:24,116 --> 00:01:26,451 LeVar Banana Burton. 33 00:01:26,451 --> 00:01:28,829 Banana King Tut. Here, give me that. 34 00:01:28,829 --> 00:01:30,705 It's more like this. 35 00:01:35,210 --> 00:01:36,461 Banana penis. 36 00:01:38,922 --> 00:01:40,507 Sure you would've loved it if he did it. 37 00:01:40,507 --> 00:01:41,800 What? 38 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,551 What's happened to you and me, Troy? 39 00:01:43,551 --> 00:01:45,679 Remember how hard we laughed when we first heard the term 40 00:01:45,679 --> 00:01:47,597 "teacher's aids?" Yeah. 41 00:01:47,597 --> 00:01:49,808 And then we found out a teacher did have AIDS. 42 00:01:49,808 --> 00:01:52,102 So, what's everybody doing this summer? 43 00:01:52,102 --> 00:01:53,603 I'm taking the boys on a trip. 44 00:01:53,603 --> 00:01:56,148 I hope I can convince them for one more year 45 00:01:56,148 --> 00:01:58,358 that motels are tiny little theme parks. 46 00:01:58,358 --> 00:02:00,027 Yeah, I got to find a new place to live. 47 00:02:00,027 --> 00:02:01,611 My dad wants me to leave the nest 48 00:02:01,611 --> 00:02:03,446 so he feels less weird that his girlfriend is 20. 49 00:02:03,446 --> 00:02:05,949 You could live in a pyramid. 50 00:02:05,949 --> 00:02:07,408 Oh, wait. 51 00:02:07,408 --> 00:02:09,203 Abed. Your dorm room's got a bunk bed, right? 52 00:02:09,203 --> 00:02:10,537 Yep. 53 00:02:12,664 --> 00:02:16,501 Um, everyone has to go to the transfer dance tomorrow. 54 00:02:16,501 --> 00:02:19,129 I'm going. My friend Gary's transferring. 55 00:02:19,129 --> 00:02:21,215 Oh, good! Finally. 56 00:02:21,215 --> 00:02:22,507 I hope he transfers to hell. 57 00:02:22,507 --> 00:02:23,842 More importantly, 58 00:02:23,842 --> 00:02:25,510 our very own Britta Perry, 59 00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:29,348 it turns out, has been nominated for transfer queen. 60 00:02:29,348 --> 00:02:31,641 Oh, that's nice. 61 00:02:31,641 --> 00:02:33,810 What the hell is a transfer queen? 62 00:02:33,810 --> 00:02:36,146 It's like prom queen. You wear a sash, there's a vote. 63 00:02:36,146 --> 00:02:37,731 If you win, they put a crown on your head. 64 00:02:37,731 --> 00:02:39,607 And I am so jealous, I want to murder you. 65 00:02:39,607 --> 00:02:41,360 Aren't you excited? No. 66 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:44,154 How did I get nominated? Don't let it upset you, Britta. 67 00:02:44,154 --> 00:02:46,990 It's the last day of semester. Nothing can ruin that. 68 00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:48,242 Hi! 69 00:02:48,242 --> 00:02:50,327 Amazing. He's like an evil genie. 70 00:02:50,327 --> 00:02:51,745 Just spreading the news. 71 00:02:51,745 --> 00:02:53,412 Some folks say "transfer formal" 72 00:02:53,412 --> 00:02:55,290 isn't really rolling off the tongue, 73 00:02:55,290 --> 00:02:59,294 so we're just gonna call it the tranny dance. 74 00:02:59,294 --> 00:03:00,962 Much more Greendale. 75 00:03:08,970 --> 00:03:11,056 What kind of community college has a prom? 76 00:03:11,056 --> 00:03:12,724 Proms weren't cool in high school. 77 00:03:12,724 --> 00:03:15,143 It's that kind of crap that made me drop out. 78 00:03:15,143 --> 00:03:17,478 You know, you don't actually have to lie on a sofa 79 00:03:17,478 --> 00:03:19,022 like it's a Woody Allen movie. 80 00:03:19,022 --> 00:03:21,942 Thank you for telling me that in the last session. 81 00:03:21,942 --> 00:03:25,112 Now, look, there are bugs on the windshield of your mind, 82 00:03:25,112 --> 00:03:27,072 you may never be able to squeegee, 83 00:03:27,072 --> 00:03:28,865 like a certain birthday party 84 00:03:28,865 --> 00:03:31,243 attended by a rather enterprising transient 85 00:03:31,243 --> 00:03:32,702 in a dinosaur costume. 86 00:03:32,702 --> 00:03:35,163 But there are other more recent streaks 87 00:03:35,163 --> 00:03:37,165 that you might yet be able to wipe clear, 88 00:03:37,165 --> 00:03:38,792 like your adolescent fear 89 00:03:38,792 --> 00:03:40,961 of being a so-called blow-up doll. 90 00:03:40,961 --> 00:03:44,381 I really think this nomination may actually help that. 91 00:03:44,381 --> 00:03:45,924 You think I'd feel better about myself 92 00:03:45,924 --> 00:03:47,508 if I got all sexed up, went over there, 93 00:03:47,508 --> 00:03:50,095 and really tried to be crowned queen of the dingbats? 94 00:03:50,095 --> 00:03:51,888 Precisely. Wow. 95 00:03:51,888 --> 00:03:54,474 You really get what you pay for with free therapy. 96 00:03:54,474 --> 00:03:58,103 Ouch. That stung a little bit. Thanks. 97 00:03:58,103 --> 00:03:59,479 Ugh. 98 00:03:59,479 --> 00:04:01,106 I'll save you time. 99 00:04:01,106 --> 00:04:03,733 He listens to you talk, then recommends a makeover. 100 00:04:03,733 --> 00:04:06,611 Don't wear as much lipstick as you did on Valentine's Day. 101 00:04:06,611 --> 00:04:08,947 Your mouth looked like a coin purse. 102 00:04:08,947 --> 00:04:11,241 Señor Chang, 103 00:04:11,241 --> 00:04:14,161 Greendale's foremost, if only, Spanish teacher. 104 00:04:14,161 --> 00:04:15,745 What can I do for you? 105 00:04:15,745 --> 00:04:18,123 I am actually a student now. 106 00:04:18,123 --> 00:04:22,794 But I was thinking, as a teacher, and as my friend, 107 00:04:22,794 --> 00:04:25,088 um, if you could help me… 108 00:04:26,173 --> 00:04:27,799 cheat my way through school. 109 00:04:27,799 --> 00:04:29,509 I have a counterproposal. 110 00:04:29,509 --> 00:04:32,179 How about I point out to you 111 00:04:32,179 --> 00:04:34,306 we've never actually been friends, 112 00:04:34,306 --> 00:04:37,058 then laugh at your very well-deserved misfortune? 113 00:04:38,768 --> 00:04:40,187 Let's just try that a second. 114 00:04:44,274 --> 00:04:47,152 No, Jorge, you killed it. Are you going to Abed's kegger? 115 00:04:47,152 --> 00:04:49,696 Heck, yeah. You know it, jefe. 116 00:04:49,696 --> 00:04:51,823 You probably don't wanna talk to me. 117 00:04:51,823 --> 00:04:53,325 It's not junior high. 118 00:04:53,325 --> 00:04:55,952 We're mature adults, Michelle. We can talk. 119 00:04:55,952 --> 00:04:58,538 I think I handled our breakup poorly. 120 00:04:58,538 --> 00:05:00,123 Before I respond to that, 121 00:05:00,123 --> 00:05:02,625 I'll have to take an extra-strength vitamin duh. 122 00:05:05,504 --> 00:05:06,963 Duh. 123 00:05:06,963 --> 00:05:08,673 We started getting serious and I got scared. 124 00:05:08,673 --> 00:05:10,717 It's possible I made a mistake. 125 00:05:10,717 --> 00:05:13,845 Maybe we can talk about it sometime. 126 00:05:13,845 --> 00:05:15,305 I miss you. 127 00:05:16,723 --> 00:05:18,641 Mm-mm. 128 00:05:18,641 --> 00:05:21,978 Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer. 129 00:05:21,978 --> 00:05:23,897 Cool. 130 00:05:36,451 --> 00:05:38,286 Dope kegger. Thanks. 131 00:05:38,286 --> 00:05:39,538 It's funny. 132 00:05:39,538 --> 00:05:41,915 You know, I spend so much time here, 133 00:05:41,915 --> 00:05:44,167 I forget that we don't live together. 134 00:05:45,752 --> 00:05:49,214 Then I think, "What if we lived together?" 135 00:05:49,214 --> 00:05:52,509 I'm gonna check on the other keg. 136 00:05:52,509 --> 00:05:54,886 Have you ever seen one of these? It's called a beer bong. 137 00:05:54,886 --> 00:05:56,804 You're not supposed to inhale though. 138 00:05:56,804 --> 00:05:58,306 I almost died outside. 139 00:05:58,306 --> 00:05:59,933 Why does Abed hate me? 140 00:05:59,933 --> 00:06:02,685 What, are you kidding? He probably hates America. 141 00:06:02,685 --> 00:06:04,938 Hey, babe. Baby, guess what. 142 00:06:04,938 --> 00:06:06,814 Your boyfriend just got offered a spot 143 00:06:06,814 --> 00:06:09,484 on the number one Hacky Sack team in the nation. 144 00:06:09,484 --> 00:06:12,362 Oh, my God, sweetie. I'm assuming that's huge. 145 00:06:12,362 --> 00:06:13,863 Of course it's huge. 146 00:06:13,863 --> 00:06:16,074 I mean, you know. I'm not into fame and stuff, 147 00:06:16,074 --> 00:06:18,159 but I could be the next Vngwe Mackadangdang, Jr. 148 00:06:18,159 --> 00:06:19,660 I know. 149 00:06:19,660 --> 00:06:21,496 There's one thing, mountain flower, 150 00:06:21,496 --> 00:06:25,166 that's that the, uh, school's in Delaware. 151 00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:28,420 Thank you. 152 00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:30,880 You know, if you don't go to this dance tomorrow, 153 00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,591 we're not gonna see each other for months. 154 00:06:32,591 --> 00:06:35,385 It's not a Jane Austen novel. We have cell phones. 155 00:06:36,595 --> 00:06:38,721 What? Ah… Oh. Oh, jeez, sorry. 156 00:06:38,721 --> 00:06:39,847 What are you doing? 157 00:06:39,847 --> 00:06:41,891 You had hair I was gonna move. 158 00:06:41,891 --> 00:06:43,810 You were gonna move my hair? I don't know. 159 00:06:43,810 --> 00:06:46,563 Have you ever thought of yourself as a guarded person? 160 00:06:46,563 --> 00:06:49,441 Am I? Watch. 161 00:06:49,441 --> 00:06:51,985 Ow. See? It's alarming, right? 162 00:06:51,985 --> 00:06:54,279 Right? 163 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:58,158 Oh. Oh, Professor Slater, hi. What are you doing here? 164 00:06:58,158 --> 00:07:01,035 Oh, you know, end of the year, randomly wandering. 165 00:07:01,035 --> 00:07:02,329 Hi, Jeff. 166 00:07:02,329 --> 00:07:03,622 Are you two…? 167 00:07:03,622 --> 00:07:05,206 No. 168 00:07:05,206 --> 00:07:07,125 The two of you aren't…? No. 169 00:07:07,125 --> 00:07:08,751 No, just friends. Same here. 170 00:07:08,751 --> 00:07:10,295 Good, for you. 171 00:07:10,295 --> 00:07:12,797 Will I see you at the dance, Britta? 172 00:07:12,797 --> 00:07:14,257 Kind of obligated, 173 00:07:14,257 --> 00:07:16,717 seeing as I'm nominated for queen, so… 174 00:07:16,717 --> 00:07:19,137 Oh. I thought you were all into female empowerment. 175 00:07:19,137 --> 00:07:21,306 What's more empowering than a woman in a crown? 176 00:07:23,433 --> 00:07:25,685 Just did my first keg stand. 177 00:07:25,685 --> 00:07:29,272 Ha-ha! Can't feel my legs. 178 00:07:46,914 --> 00:07:48,375 Whoo! 179 00:07:48,375 --> 00:07:49,543 Our original school song 180 00:07:49,543 --> 00:07:52,170 by the venerable Pierce Hawthorne. 181 00:07:52,170 --> 00:07:53,672 He made that up. Hmm? 182 00:07:53,672 --> 00:07:56,799 Everyone remember to vote before the coronation. 183 00:07:56,799 --> 00:07:59,427 The nominees are identified with sashes 184 00:07:59,427 --> 00:08:01,638 that say, "tranny queen." 185 00:08:01,638 --> 00:08:04,057 By the way, we do offer summer classes, 186 00:08:04,057 --> 00:08:05,642 which are a great way to, um… 187 00:08:06,726 --> 00:08:08,769 Um… Broaden your mind. Have fun. 188 00:08:10,146 --> 00:08:12,649 Hi. You're here for me. Guys. Guys. 189 00:08:12,649 --> 00:08:15,318 Vaughn got recruited to a college in Delaware. 190 00:08:15,318 --> 00:08:17,111 I'm gonna go with him for the summer. 191 00:08:17,111 --> 00:08:19,489 A classic last-day-of-school plot twist. 192 00:08:19,489 --> 00:08:22,325 He's gonna be the next Vngwe Mackadangdang, Jr. 193 00:08:22,325 --> 00:08:23,618 It's a Hacky Sack guy. 194 00:08:23,618 --> 00:08:24,994 Hey, you don't have to tell us who 195 00:08:24,994 --> 00:08:27,872 Ingmar Mackadingdong, Jr. is. Hmm. 196 00:08:27,872 --> 00:08:31,376 Jeff, help me with some refreshments. 197 00:08:31,376 --> 00:08:33,628 Please don't tell anyone until after I'm gone. 198 00:08:33,628 --> 00:08:37,090 I'm not just going to Delaware for the summer. 199 00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:39,800 I'm transferring with Vaughn. 200 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,553 What? When did you decide that? 201 00:08:41,553 --> 00:08:44,639 I spent three months researching backpacks 202 00:08:44,639 --> 00:08:47,850 before I chose the one that I use now. 203 00:08:47,850 --> 00:08:50,019 I don't want to be that person anymore. 204 00:08:50,978 --> 00:08:53,064 I want to live in the moment. 205 00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:57,444 For your and Vaughn's sake, I hope it works out. 206 00:08:57,444 --> 00:08:59,571 But on behalf of the rest of the group, 207 00:08:59,571 --> 00:09:01,406 I hope it's a catastrophe. 208 00:09:01,406 --> 00:09:03,324 You better visit. 209 00:09:03,324 --> 00:09:06,494 Whoa. I can't believe nobody's taken this cookie. 210 00:09:09,664 --> 00:09:13,418 Señor Chang, is there a word in Spanish 211 00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:15,878 for someone who used to pretend to be a professor 212 00:09:15,878 --> 00:09:18,673 but was a teacher, but wasn't actually a teacher, 213 00:09:18,673 --> 00:09:19,840 and is now a student? 214 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,593 Is there a word for that? Oh. 215 00:09:21,593 --> 00:09:24,095 If it was in Spanish, you wouldn't know. 216 00:09:24,095 --> 00:09:25,388 Bup-bup-bup. 217 00:09:25,388 --> 00:09:27,557 Hit a professor, you'll get expelled. 218 00:09:27,557 --> 00:09:30,769 I will find a loophole. 219 00:09:30,769 --> 00:09:32,061 Oh. Good luck with that. 220 00:09:32,061 --> 00:09:33,938 Then I'll kill you. 221 00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:35,565 Dudley Moore. 222 00:09:35,565 --> 00:09:36,941 Spray tan. 223 00:09:36,941 --> 00:09:38,859 I'd go easy on that punch if I was you. 224 00:09:38,859 --> 00:09:40,111 I've put in a little… 225 00:09:40,111 --> 00:09:42,822 Hot person, hot people. 226 00:09:42,822 --> 00:09:45,116 The two of them coming this way. Which one do you want? 227 00:09:45,116 --> 00:09:46,867 Hi, Jeff. Hi, Jeff. 228 00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:48,745 Oh! Oh. 229 00:09:48,745 --> 00:09:53,541 Britta, you look great. Such a stunning improvement. 230 00:09:53,541 --> 00:09:56,043 Wow, you look gorgeous. It must've taken all day. 231 00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:59,088 Oh, Jeff, you've got a… 232 00:09:59,088 --> 00:10:01,341 Oh. It's right there. 233 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:07,639 Guys, guys, cleanest face ever. 234 00:10:07,639 --> 00:10:09,140 Hey, am I okay? 235 00:10:10,016 --> 00:10:11,309 Yes. Yeah. 236 00:10:11,309 --> 00:10:13,561 You know, Troy, uh, our study group, 237 00:10:13,561 --> 00:10:15,855 after all we've been through, we got to stick together. 238 00:10:15,855 --> 00:10:18,775 You, me, and Jeff and Rain Man, 239 00:10:18,775 --> 00:10:21,986 and big boobs and medium boobs and black boobs. 240 00:10:21,986 --> 00:10:23,321 We're a family. 241 00:10:23,321 --> 00:10:25,156 What's your point? 242 00:10:25,156 --> 00:10:27,116 I'd like to make an offer. 243 00:10:27,116 --> 00:10:28,743 Okay. 244 00:10:29,744 --> 00:10:31,162 Am I black boobs? 245 00:10:31,162 --> 00:10:33,122 Last call. 246 00:10:42,923 --> 00:10:44,634 Study over. 247 00:10:48,596 --> 00:10:51,015 What are you doing? Giving things a finale vibe. 248 00:10:51,015 --> 00:10:53,810 Well, how's this for a finale vibe? 249 00:10:53,810 --> 00:10:55,353 Pierce asked me to move in with him, 250 00:10:55,353 --> 00:10:56,771 in his mansion. 251 00:10:56,771 --> 00:10:58,898 More of a spin-off vibe, but you should do it. 252 00:10:58,898 --> 00:11:01,108 I thought we were friends. We are. 253 00:11:01,108 --> 00:11:03,778 That's why we shouldn't be roommates. We'll end up fighting 254 00:11:03,778 --> 00:11:05,988 and putting a masking tape line down the middle of our room. 255 00:11:05,988 --> 00:11:07,990 We just won't get masking tape. 256 00:11:07,990 --> 00:11:09,576 You should live with someone who you like 257 00:11:09,576 --> 00:11:11,160 but whose friendship wouldn't be altered 258 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,162 because of constant irritation, that's Pierce. 259 00:11:13,162 --> 00:11:14,664 If you and I move in, we jump the shark. 260 00:11:14,664 --> 00:11:17,417 That will end it. Maybe you're ending it. 261 00:11:18,668 --> 00:11:20,587 Oh, and for the record, 262 00:11:20,587 --> 00:11:22,296 there was an episode of Happy Days 263 00:11:22,296 --> 00:11:25,508 where a guy literally jumped over a shark. 264 00:11:25,508 --> 00:11:27,802 And it was the best one. 265 00:11:31,431 --> 00:11:32,849 I think I'm winning. 266 00:11:32,849 --> 00:11:35,393 Winning tranny queen. Yeah. 267 00:11:35,393 --> 00:11:37,270 So, uh, isn't it nice 268 00:11:37,270 --> 00:11:39,773 that Jeff and Slater are getting back together? 269 00:11:39,773 --> 00:11:41,858 What? Aha. And psych! 270 00:11:41,858 --> 00:11:43,443 But they will get back together 271 00:11:43,443 --> 00:11:45,111 if you don't stop competing with her 272 00:11:45,111 --> 00:11:46,654 and start communicating with Jeff. 273 00:11:46,654 --> 00:11:49,449 She already has a head start. They slept together. 274 00:11:52,368 --> 00:11:54,328 Holy macaroni with pepper jack. 275 00:11:54,328 --> 00:11:55,996 When? Where? 276 00:11:55,996 --> 00:11:58,666 During paintball in the study room 277 00:11:58,666 --> 00:12:01,043 with Colonel Mustard. Does it matter? 278 00:12:01,043 --> 00:12:03,421 Now it does matter. Where in the study room? 279 00:12:03,421 --> 00:12:06,006 On the couches. 280 00:12:06,006 --> 00:12:08,301 We use those. Oh, get over it. 281 00:12:08,301 --> 00:12:10,136 I've seen you shake the dean's hand. 282 00:12:10,136 --> 00:12:11,763 Who knows where he's been? 283 00:12:12,931 --> 00:12:14,766 Do you believe in soul mates? Uh-huh. 284 00:12:16,142 --> 00:12:18,060 Um, okay. Now, don't be mad at me. 285 00:12:18,060 --> 00:12:20,271 I didn't think more than one person would answer the ad. 286 00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:21,564 Yes, dream coming true. 287 00:12:21,564 --> 00:12:23,441 You guys are leaving already? 288 00:12:23,441 --> 00:12:25,693 Yeah. Got to be in Delaware by tomorrow night. 289 00:12:27,821 --> 00:12:29,113 Hey. 290 00:12:30,114 --> 00:12:31,616 I'll see you soon. 291 00:12:34,577 --> 00:12:36,537 Have a good summer. 292 00:12:36,537 --> 00:12:39,039 I'll see you in the fall, Annie. Mm. 293 00:12:45,254 --> 00:12:47,340 We're gonna miss you. You're the one 294 00:12:47,340 --> 00:12:49,049 that didn't want me in the study group. 295 00:12:49,049 --> 00:12:52,345 Come on, that's not true. Yeah, none of us did. 296 00:12:52,345 --> 00:12:54,639 I say things others won't. That has value. 297 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,976 Well, bye. 298 00:12:57,976 --> 00:13:00,394 See you. Lates. 299 00:13:05,566 --> 00:13:07,610 Good evening, Michelle. 300 00:13:07,610 --> 00:13:09,863 Or may I say, Meow-chelle? 301 00:13:09,863 --> 00:13:12,448 Who has your car keys? They're in the taco meat. 302 00:13:12,448 --> 00:13:14,701 Now, what say you and I blow this pop stand, 303 00:13:14,701 --> 00:13:16,744 and head off for a spot of slap and tickle? 304 00:13:16,744 --> 00:13:18,329 I mean sex, 305 00:13:18,329 --> 00:13:20,915 in case the lingo hasn't made it to the States. 306 00:13:20,915 --> 00:13:23,292 I think I'm probably leaving here with Jeff. 307 00:13:23,292 --> 00:13:24,502 I'm sorry. 308 00:13:24,502 --> 00:13:26,128 I just assumed you two were done, 309 00:13:26,128 --> 00:13:29,131 since, uh, ahem, Jeff and Britta did, uh, 310 00:13:29,131 --> 00:13:31,049 the yankee doodle. 311 00:13:31,049 --> 00:13:33,427 Don't tell me that didn't make it to the States. 312 00:13:33,427 --> 00:13:34,929 It clearly originated here. 313 00:13:37,139 --> 00:13:41,728 Okay, we finished tallying all 36 votes, 314 00:13:41,728 --> 00:13:44,022 so everyone get ready. 315 00:13:44,022 --> 00:13:46,440 Yo, Goldilocks. Drop the smirk. 316 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,108 I know about your grungy tumble, 317 00:13:48,108 --> 00:13:49,903 and I'm sure it was the highlight of your diary 318 00:13:49,903 --> 00:13:51,779 but it was during a pit stop in something real. 319 00:13:51,779 --> 00:13:53,322 You were the pit stop. 320 00:13:53,322 --> 00:13:55,783 He used you to numb the pain of not getting with me. 321 00:13:55,783 --> 00:13:58,369 Jeff needs a girl who doesn't just not wear underwear 322 00:13:58,369 --> 00:14:00,371 because Oprah told her it would spice things up. 323 00:14:00,371 --> 00:14:02,456 He needs a girl who doesn't wear underwear 324 00:14:02,456 --> 00:14:05,459 because she hasn't done laundry in three weeks. 325 00:14:05,459 --> 00:14:07,003 He's been to flavor country now. 326 00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:09,171 They should retire the table we did it on. 327 00:14:09,171 --> 00:14:12,383 Table? Miss Britta Perry. 328 00:14:12,383 --> 00:14:14,301 Oh, I'm sorry. I have to go. 329 00:14:14,301 --> 00:14:16,846 I just won a contest for being hot. 330 00:14:18,806 --> 00:14:21,059 Oh, wow. 331 00:14:21,059 --> 00:14:22,560 This is a huge honor. 332 00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:24,562 This may come as a surprise to you, 333 00:14:24,562 --> 00:14:26,981 but I've never actually won anything before. 334 00:14:26,981 --> 00:14:28,608 Okay, well, you still haven't. 335 00:14:28,608 --> 00:14:30,150 I'm just listing the nominees, 336 00:14:30,150 --> 00:14:31,444 so not a great time to get cocky. 337 00:14:31,444 --> 00:14:35,031 Okay. Christine Hollinsworth. 338 00:14:36,699 --> 00:14:38,952 Britney Baker. 339 00:14:40,954 --> 00:14:43,205 Miss Danielle Harman. 340 00:14:46,417 --> 00:14:48,628 Amy Sm… 341 00:14:48,628 --> 00:14:51,631 Jeff Winger, do not get back with Slater. 342 00:14:54,258 --> 00:14:55,593 I love you. 343 00:14:59,639 --> 00:15:02,767 Psst, psst. Britta. Britta. 344 00:15:02,767 --> 00:15:04,184 Your lipstick looks better. 345 00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:18,407 Hey, man. How's it going? 346 00:15:18,407 --> 00:15:21,494 Uh, don't shoot the messenger but everyone at this dance 347 00:15:21,494 --> 00:15:24,831 is kind of waiting for your reaction to all this. 348 00:15:24,831 --> 00:15:26,457 Look, I'm trying to think, okay? 349 00:15:26,457 --> 00:15:28,292 Yeah, that's cool. Take your time. 350 00:15:28,292 --> 00:15:29,961 How's it going? You look great. 351 00:15:29,961 --> 00:15:31,671 Very Fatal Attraction. 352 00:15:31,671 --> 00:15:33,255 Oh. Thanks. 353 00:15:34,632 --> 00:15:37,343 What's wrong with you? I'm sick. 354 00:15:37,343 --> 00:15:39,303 I don't know why. 355 00:15:39,303 --> 00:15:41,764 Have you considered the 60-inch diameter cookie you're eating? 356 00:15:41,764 --> 00:15:45,685 How can something that's delicious make me sick? 357 00:15:47,561 --> 00:15:51,899 Unless too much of a good thing is actually a bad thing. 358 00:15:53,192 --> 00:15:55,028 My friendship with Abed is a giant cookie. 359 00:15:55,028 --> 00:15:56,654 I kinda got my own thing going on now. 360 00:15:56,654 --> 00:15:58,531 Oh, yeah, absolutely. 361 00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:14,088 First of all, I'm flattered. 362 00:16:14,088 --> 00:16:18,885 Second, have you ever heard of e-mail? 363 00:16:20,636 --> 00:16:22,180 You love me? 364 00:16:23,973 --> 00:16:25,265 Do you love me? 365 00:16:25,265 --> 00:16:27,018 I have something to say. 366 00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:32,272 Jeff, I love you. 367 00:16:32,272 --> 00:16:34,441 Ugh. I wonder where she got that from. 368 00:16:34,441 --> 00:16:37,070 I'm sorry. Do you have a patent on loving people? 369 00:16:37,070 --> 00:16:39,030 Would you like a patent in getting your ass kicked? 370 00:16:39,030 --> 00:16:41,032 Okay, okay. 371 00:16:41,032 --> 00:16:43,242 Can you stand over there? 372 00:16:44,744 --> 00:16:48,414 And can you sit down, please? 373 00:16:55,755 --> 00:16:59,258 Jeffrey, choose Britta. Yeah, Team Britta. 374 00:16:59,258 --> 00:17:00,634 Britta's lame. 375 00:17:00,634 --> 00:17:01,886 Team Slater. 376 00:17:03,137 --> 00:17:04,430 Bring Conan back. 377 00:17:08,059 --> 00:17:09,894 It's been, uh, a great year. 378 00:17:09,894 --> 00:17:12,563 Can't hear you. No one can hear you. 379 00:17:12,563 --> 00:17:15,858 I'm just gonna sneak right up here and give you this. 380 00:17:17,317 --> 00:17:19,695 Uh… Hi, it's, uh… 381 00:17:19,695 --> 00:17:21,614 Oh, come on, who are you choosing? 382 00:17:32,332 --> 00:17:33,500 I… I don't know. 383 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:36,045 Oh. 384 00:17:36,045 --> 00:17:37,630 Come on, Jeffrey. 385 00:17:39,882 --> 00:17:42,051 Everybody close their faces. 386 00:17:42,051 --> 00:17:44,511 He's got a lot on his mind. Leave him alone. 387 00:17:44,511 --> 00:17:46,013 I got it from here. 388 00:17:46,013 --> 00:17:49,267 My name is Professor Ian Duncan, 389 00:17:49,267 --> 00:17:52,145 and I would like to rap for you. 390 00:17:52,145 --> 00:17:53,813 No. Drop a beat. 391 00:18:03,572 --> 00:18:05,866 Okay, okay. No, no. You know what, Duncan? 392 00:18:05,866 --> 00:18:07,827 That's enough. You have a problem. 393 00:18:07,827 --> 00:18:09,203 Oh. I have a problem? Yes. 394 00:18:09,203 --> 00:18:11,622 Who is it here who has a Dalmatian fetish? 395 00:18:11,622 --> 00:18:13,082 Oh, okay. Okay. 396 00:18:13,082 --> 00:18:16,376 That is an oversimplification, and you are suspended. 397 00:18:16,376 --> 00:18:17,920 Oh, come on. 398 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,338 You're not a teacher anymore. 399 00:18:20,547 --> 00:18:22,842 What's this? A roll of quarters. Why? 400 00:18:22,842 --> 00:18:24,760 Friends, help me, friends. 401 00:18:26,804 --> 00:18:29,015 I'll do it. I'll move in with you. 402 00:18:29,015 --> 00:18:30,641 Fantastic, buddy. 403 00:18:30,641 --> 00:18:31,892 Come over on Saturday? 404 00:18:31,892 --> 00:18:33,602 My tailor will fit you for a uniform. 405 00:19:03,174 --> 00:19:05,509 I thought you left. 406 00:19:05,509 --> 00:19:07,094 I couldn't go. 407 00:19:07,094 --> 00:19:09,055 What happened? I guess, 408 00:19:09,055 --> 00:19:10,348 as we were driving away, 409 00:19:10,348 --> 00:19:12,266 I finally started living in the moment 410 00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:15,102 and I realized that, in the moment, 411 00:19:15,102 --> 00:19:16,645 Greendale is where I belong. 412 00:19:18,147 --> 00:19:19,773 What are you doing out here? 413 00:19:19,773 --> 00:19:21,108 Oh, you know, 414 00:19:21,108 --> 00:19:23,527 Britta and Slater told me they loved me. 415 00:19:23,527 --> 00:19:25,529 Really? Yeah. 416 00:19:25,529 --> 00:19:27,531 What did you do? I ran away. 417 00:19:27,531 --> 00:19:29,449 I don't know. It's hard. 418 00:19:29,449 --> 00:19:31,202 Slater makes me feel like I do 419 00:19:31,202 --> 00:19:33,371 when I write my New Year's resolutions. 420 00:19:33,371 --> 00:19:35,664 She makes me feel like the guy I want to be. 421 00:19:35,664 --> 00:19:37,499 And Britta makes me feel like the guy 422 00:19:37,499 --> 00:19:39,668 I am three weeks after New Year's, 423 00:19:39,668 --> 00:19:41,170 when I'm back to hitting my snooze button 424 00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:42,796 and screening my Mom's phone calls. 425 00:19:42,796 --> 00:19:44,340 Back to who I really am. 426 00:19:44,340 --> 00:19:48,094 So do you try to evolve, 427 00:19:48,094 --> 00:19:50,054 or do you try to know what you are? 428 00:19:51,305 --> 00:19:52,639 I don't know. 429 00:19:52,639 --> 00:19:54,267 I wish I could live two lives. 430 00:19:54,267 --> 00:19:57,061 One of me would go with Vaughn, one of me could stay here. 431 00:19:57,061 --> 00:19:58,520 One of me could be back with Slater, 432 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,273 and the other could try it with Britta. 433 00:20:00,273 --> 00:20:02,983 Then we could all get together for some weird foursome. 434 00:20:05,194 --> 00:20:08,364 Um, I guess I gotta go deal with it. 435 00:20:08,364 --> 00:20:09,740 Good luck. 436 00:20:11,367 --> 00:20:13,827 Um, I'm glad you're staying. 437 00:20:42,106 --> 00:20:45,151 Oh, my God. I'm finally popular enough to be in the yearbook. 438 00:20:45,151 --> 00:20:48,487 What do you mean video yearbook? Where do I sign? 439 00:20:48,487 --> 00:20:50,114 Photo not available. 440 00:20:50,114 --> 00:20:52,408 This better not be one of those take-your-top-off videos. 441 00:20:52,408 --> 00:20:53,909 I don't believe in yearbooks. 442 00:20:53,909 --> 00:20:55,494 I just want people to remember 443 00:20:55,494 --> 00:20:57,330 there's a guy in between these things. 444 00:20:57,330 --> 00:21:00,124 What a year. Only two pregnancy scares. 445 00:21:00,124 --> 00:21:04,170 I give this year a D for delightful. 446 00:21:04,170 --> 00:21:07,298 I can't believe I spent 10 bucks on this. 447 00:21:07,298 --> 00:21:09,758 I don't know any of these people.