1 00:00:03,969 --> 00:00:05,679 Missed you at lunch today. 2 00:00:05,679 --> 00:00:07,848 Did you slip out for a quickie with Professor Hot Stuff? 3 00:00:07,848 --> 00:00:09,516 Her name's Michelle and how did you know? 4 00:00:09,516 --> 00:00:11,226 There's a gold star on your fly. 5 00:00:12,686 --> 00:00:14,354 You weren't kidding. 6 00:00:14,354 --> 00:00:16,314 It's nice to have a girlfriend with a sense of humor 7 00:00:16,314 --> 00:00:17,942 and one who recognizes good work. 8 00:00:19,610 --> 00:00:21,570 See, that's G. That's the most important chord. 9 00:00:21,570 --> 00:00:24,197 In my mind, it… It stands for God. 10 00:00:24,197 --> 00:00:26,115 Why is Annie talking to Micro-Nipples? 11 00:00:26,115 --> 00:00:27,826 Vaughn? Whatever. 12 00:00:27,826 --> 00:00:30,704 But not like a Bible God 'cause I think god is everything. 13 00:00:30,704 --> 00:00:32,539 You're complicated. 14 00:00:40,255 --> 00:00:41,882 You know what I don't get? 15 00:00:41,882 --> 00:00:44,217 He never wears a shirt. He never wears shoes. 16 00:00:44,217 --> 00:00:47,054 Why hasn't he died from lack of service? 17 00:00:50,057 --> 00:00:51,600 Watching another movie in your dorm? 18 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,227 Kickpuncher starring Don "The Demon" Donaldson 19 00:00:54,227 --> 00:00:56,396 as a cyborg cop whose punches have the power of kicks. 20 00:00:56,396 --> 00:00:58,482 That sounds awful. I'll bring the popcorn. 21 00:00:58,482 --> 00:00:59,817 Cool. 22 00:00:59,817 --> 00:01:01,860 Uh, you watch bad movies on purpose? 23 00:01:01,860 --> 00:01:03,654 Yeah, we make fun of them. Hmm. 24 00:01:03,654 --> 00:01:05,155 Don't embarrass yourself. 25 00:01:05,155 --> 00:01:07,825 I'm sure they don't want to invite the housewife. 26 00:01:07,825 --> 00:01:09,660 If she doesn't mind reinforcing the stereotype, 27 00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:12,037 I bet she'd have fun. Care to join us? 28 00:01:12,037 --> 00:01:14,039 Usually when a movie's bad, I stop watching. 29 00:01:14,039 --> 00:01:15,332 But this sounds college-y. 30 00:01:15,332 --> 00:01:17,835 What time do you want us there? 31 00:01:17,835 --> 00:01:22,172 Pierce, you don't wanna watch a cyborg movie in Abed's dorm. 32 00:01:22,172 --> 00:01:25,216 You wanna lay in your twin bed, think about what you used to be. 33 00:01:25,216 --> 00:01:26,635 What? 34 00:01:26,635 --> 00:01:29,138 You think I'm too old to make monkeyshines? 35 00:01:29,138 --> 00:01:31,765 Come on, I'm younger than three of you put together. 36 00:01:35,352 --> 00:01:36,770 Hey, Britta. 37 00:01:36,770 --> 00:01:38,814 Everyone talks about his nipples, 38 00:01:38,814 --> 00:01:40,357 but his feet freak me out. 39 00:01:40,357 --> 00:01:42,067 Britta! 40 00:01:42,067 --> 00:01:43,861 Hey. Hey. 41 00:01:43,861 --> 00:01:46,237 Can I ask you something? About Vaughn? 42 00:01:46,237 --> 00:01:47,948 Oh, yes, 43 00:01:47,948 --> 00:01:50,325 I still don't know if that's his first or last name. 44 00:01:50,325 --> 00:01:52,995 He's sweet, actually. 45 00:01:52,995 --> 00:01:55,330 I mean, you must have thought so. 46 00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:56,832 He has a sincerity 47 00:01:56,832 --> 00:01:59,168 I found attractive in a simpler time. 48 00:02:00,669 --> 00:02:03,964 Would you…? Um, I haven't… 49 00:02:03,964 --> 00:02:06,717 And we haven't… Anything. 50 00:02:06,717 --> 00:02:09,302 I mean… Wow, you and Vaughn? 51 00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:10,595 Would it bug you? 52 00:02:10,595 --> 00:02:12,764 Well, what about you and Troy? Troy? 53 00:02:14,349 --> 00:02:16,768 The other day I thought he was trying to hold my hand. 54 00:02:16,768 --> 00:02:20,022 But he had just mistaken me for Abed. 55 00:02:20,022 --> 00:02:21,606 He'll never think of me that way. 56 00:02:21,606 --> 00:02:23,775 Well, Annie, 57 00:02:23,775 --> 00:02:25,903 I would have to be a villain to tell you who to date. 58 00:02:25,903 --> 00:02:28,072 Which I am not. 59 00:02:28,072 --> 00:02:30,157 Britta, thank you. 60 00:02:30,157 --> 00:02:32,034 You're the coolest girl I've ever met. 61 00:02:32,034 --> 00:02:34,494 Damn right, give me some fivesies. 62 00:02:34,494 --> 00:02:36,371 Whoo! 63 00:02:36,371 --> 00:02:39,624 Turning it into a snake. 64 00:02:39,624 --> 00:02:41,668 Oh, cool. 65 00:02:56,349 --> 00:02:58,060 Hey, how's it going? 66 00:02:58,060 --> 00:03:00,562 Did you hear? It's cute. Annie and Vaughn. 67 00:03:00,562 --> 00:03:01,980 Get to the cute part. 68 00:03:01,980 --> 00:03:05,316 She's into him. She asked for my blessing. 69 00:03:05,316 --> 00:03:07,611 And you gave it? Yeah, I'm done with him. 70 00:03:07,611 --> 00:03:09,988 Look, this isn't about you, you groovy hipster. 71 00:03:09,988 --> 00:03:11,280 It's about Annie. 72 00:03:11,280 --> 00:03:12,991 We're like her Greendale parents. 73 00:03:12,991 --> 00:03:15,911 You gotta say no to that stuff. He's not that bad. 74 00:03:15,911 --> 00:03:18,163 Yeah, not if you're 28 and you're fooling around with him. 75 00:03:18,163 --> 00:03:19,539 She's 18. 76 00:03:19,539 --> 00:03:21,708 Her taste in men is still being established. 77 00:03:21,708 --> 00:03:23,585 Creepier and creepier dudes 78 00:03:23,585 --> 00:03:25,712 will start thinking of her as an option. 79 00:03:25,712 --> 00:03:28,757 And it all starts with Vaughn. He's a gateway douche bag. 80 00:03:28,757 --> 00:03:32,177 People collide, things happen. It can't be controlled, right? 81 00:03:32,177 --> 00:03:35,222 That can be your toast at her shotgun wedding to Star-Burns. 82 00:03:37,182 --> 00:03:40,310 Oh, yeah, turn to your left. Oh, now turn to your right. 83 00:03:40,310 --> 00:03:42,146 Yes, we can see both of them. 84 00:03:42,146 --> 00:03:44,148 Like a constellation on your face. 85 00:03:44,148 --> 00:03:46,191 How stupid. Hey. 86 00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:47,776 Oh, what's up, dude? Yeah. 87 00:03:47,776 --> 00:03:51,155 That guy over there? He's a douche bag. 88 00:03:52,447 --> 00:03:54,574 Hey, guys. Hola! 89 00:03:54,574 --> 00:03:56,785 I invited Señor Chang. We're Netflix friends. 90 00:03:56,785 --> 00:03:59,871 That's cool you're hanging out, drinking beers with students. 91 00:03:59,871 --> 00:04:03,125 Yeah, clearly none of my plans fell through. 92 00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:06,711 Let's get to the movie. Wait. Oh, I'm sorry, Shirley. 93 00:04:06,711 --> 00:04:09,506 I'll wait if you wanna serve beverages. 94 00:04:09,506 --> 00:04:11,508 You're gonna be waiting a long-ass time. 95 00:04:14,719 --> 00:04:18,723 Oh, FBI warning, I'm so scared. 96 00:04:18,723 --> 00:04:20,851 Hey, that's not fair. I didn't know we started. 97 00:04:20,851 --> 00:04:23,145 It is the year 2006 A.D. 98 00:04:23,145 --> 00:04:25,355 And nuclear war has ravaged the planet. 99 00:04:25,355 --> 00:04:28,942 I must have missed that. Nice. 100 00:04:28,942 --> 00:04:30,694 Between cities is a free-fire zone, 101 00:04:30,694 --> 00:04:33,404 ruled by scavengers, drug dealers and terrorists. 102 00:04:33,404 --> 00:04:35,324 Sounds like a Thanksgiving at my house. 103 00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:40,245 They just come to me. 104 00:04:40,245 --> 00:04:43,165 You want to buy some megadope? It gets you mega high. 105 00:04:43,165 --> 00:04:45,292 Will it get me through this movie? 106 00:04:47,919 --> 00:04:50,588 Freeze, police! 107 00:04:50,588 --> 00:04:53,050 Freeze police? Don't do that, they'll get cold. 108 00:04:59,806 --> 00:05:02,059 You've done so much for our city. 109 00:05:02,059 --> 00:05:05,770 Kickpuncher, is there anything that we can give you? 110 00:05:05,770 --> 00:05:07,397 Yeah, two hours of my life back. 111 00:05:09,691 --> 00:05:11,818 Don't call me Kickpuncher. 112 00:05:11,818 --> 00:05:14,779 Call me David. 113 00:05:14,779 --> 00:05:17,115 "Directed by Kim Yang." 114 00:05:17,115 --> 00:05:20,327 Asian, can't direct, can't drive. 115 00:05:21,661 --> 00:05:23,330 Dude, I'm right here. 116 00:05:23,330 --> 00:05:24,789 Right there. 117 00:05:24,789 --> 00:05:29,294 So clearly we're all a bunch of funny people. 118 00:05:29,294 --> 00:05:30,712 When are we doing this again? 119 00:05:30,712 --> 00:05:33,090 Well, actually, tomorrow we… No. 120 00:05:33,090 --> 00:05:35,466 We were all gonna get… I wouldn't. 121 00:05:35,466 --> 00:05:36,885 Right? Tomorrow night, 122 00:05:36,885 --> 00:05:38,345 we're all gonna get together 123 00:05:38,345 --> 00:05:40,931 and watch Kickpuncher 2: Codename Punchkicker. 124 00:05:40,931 --> 00:05:42,807 Well, I was just warming up tonight. 125 00:05:42,807 --> 00:05:44,226 Tomorrow you better foam the runways 126 00:05:44,226 --> 00:05:45,685 because I'm bringing my A game. 127 00:05:45,685 --> 00:05:47,562 Awesome. 128 00:05:47,562 --> 00:05:49,940 All right, so check it. It's like surfing without water. 129 00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:51,566 All right, your turn. 130 00:05:56,529 --> 00:06:00,284 He's got her in some kind of hippie collar. 131 00:06:00,284 --> 00:06:02,535 I can hear her armpit hair growing from here. 132 00:06:02,535 --> 00:06:04,246 We've got to do something. 133 00:06:04,246 --> 00:06:06,957 Okay, even if I agreed with you, what are we gonna do? 134 00:06:06,957 --> 00:06:08,417 Let's just center ourselves. 135 00:06:08,417 --> 00:06:10,085 If we say we disapprove, 136 00:06:10,085 --> 00:06:12,254 we'll drive her further into his hemp-braceleted arms. 137 00:06:12,254 --> 00:06:14,256 We need to be smart, need to hatch a scheme. 138 00:06:14,256 --> 00:06:16,258 Hatching schemes is not really my wheelhouse. 139 00:06:16,258 --> 00:06:18,260 Let's not confine ourselves to your wheelhouse. 140 00:06:18,260 --> 00:06:19,970 This problem won't respond to tap dancing 141 00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:22,264 or casual revelations that you spent time in New York. 142 00:06:22,264 --> 00:06:24,766 You're gonna get Upper Eastside, I think we're done. 143 00:06:24,766 --> 00:06:26,643 Hey, Winger, check out Annie. 144 00:06:26,643 --> 00:06:29,354 Somebody just went to the top of my to-do list. 145 00:06:31,982 --> 00:06:34,234 Okay, we need to hatch a scheme. 146 00:06:34,234 --> 00:06:35,902 Thank you. 147 00:06:37,446 --> 00:06:39,739 It's all very simple. 148 00:06:39,739 --> 00:06:42,242 In Annie's world, long before Vaughn, 149 00:06:42,242 --> 00:06:43,827 she only had eyes for Troy. 150 00:06:43,827 --> 00:06:46,204 So if Troy becomes a real option, 151 00:06:46,204 --> 00:06:48,415 Annie will drop Vaughn in a hippie's heartbeat. 152 00:06:48,415 --> 00:06:50,499 Crash course in manipulation. 153 00:06:50,499 --> 00:06:53,502 You don't tell the person what you want them to do. 154 00:06:53,502 --> 00:06:55,630 You help them realize they want to do it 155 00:06:55,630 --> 00:06:57,215 so it can't be traced back to you. 156 00:06:58,758 --> 00:07:00,427 Hmm. Got it. 157 00:07:04,264 --> 00:07:06,266 Chemistry, sexy. 158 00:07:06,266 --> 00:07:10,145 You know what else is sexy? Annie. 159 00:07:10,145 --> 00:07:12,981 I know chemistry is sexy. But Annie? I don't see it. 160 00:07:12,981 --> 00:07:15,150 Well, every other guy on campus does. 161 00:07:15,150 --> 00:07:17,027 You really don't see how pretty Annie is? 162 00:07:17,027 --> 00:07:19,070 Maybe it's because I knew her back in high school. 163 00:07:19,070 --> 00:07:20,530 Before she dropped out, 164 00:07:20,530 --> 00:07:22,532 she had braces, and acne, and a pill addiction. 165 00:07:22,532 --> 00:07:24,368 A nervous breakdown ending with her running 166 00:07:24,368 --> 00:07:26,786 through a plate glass door screaming, "Everyone's a robot." 167 00:07:28,372 --> 00:07:29,789 I see what's happening here. 168 00:07:29,789 --> 00:07:32,292 Troy, I want you to clear your head. Done. 169 00:07:32,292 --> 00:07:34,919 I'm gonna describe to you a complete stranger 170 00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:37,881 who happens happens to be in our study group. 171 00:07:37,881 --> 00:07:40,050 Would you excuse us for a moment? 172 00:07:43,803 --> 00:07:47,640 Annie? No kidding? 173 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:50,685 Come on, you gotta be exaggerating. 174 00:07:50,685 --> 00:07:53,355 Oh, man. 175 00:07:53,355 --> 00:07:55,482 And she's Jewish? 176 00:07:55,482 --> 00:07:57,817 I can't believe I didn't see that. 177 00:07:57,817 --> 00:08:00,070 Well, I guess she deserves another shot. 178 00:08:00,070 --> 00:08:01,863 Oh, wait. Never mind. It's too late. 179 00:08:01,863 --> 00:08:03,156 She's hooking up with Vaughn. 180 00:08:03,156 --> 00:08:05,200 Only to make you jealous. What? 181 00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:06,826 She's helplessly in love with you. 182 00:08:06,826 --> 00:08:08,537 She's only with him to get your attention. 183 00:08:08,537 --> 00:08:10,247 And you have to give it to her now. 184 00:08:10,247 --> 00:08:12,665 Right, Jeff? Sure. 185 00:08:12,665 --> 00:08:14,792 But the point is, 186 00:08:14,792 --> 00:08:17,003 we're not telling you what to do. 187 00:08:17,003 --> 00:08:19,756 Oh, yeah, you didn't hear it from us. 188 00:08:27,514 --> 00:08:29,640 Boo-ya. 189 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,518 I have the weirdest boner. 190 00:08:32,477 --> 00:08:33,811 I saw you die. 191 00:08:33,811 --> 00:08:35,730 How can you be alive? 192 00:08:35,730 --> 00:08:39,443 I guess it's just a bad day for drug-dealing terrorists. 193 00:08:39,443 --> 00:08:41,236 And a good day for… 194 00:08:41,236 --> 00:08:43,321 Kickpuncher! 195 00:08:43,321 --> 00:08:45,532 All right, guys, you hear that pause 196 00:08:45,532 --> 00:08:47,742 after he says, "And a good day"? What do you got for me there? 197 00:08:47,742 --> 00:08:51,246 A good day for a nutritious breakfast. 198 00:08:51,246 --> 00:08:53,123 I don't get it. 199 00:08:53,123 --> 00:08:55,166 It's a good day for a terrible movie. 200 00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:58,211 A good day for hair products? 201 00:08:58,211 --> 00:08:59,712 Oh, Buzz. 202 00:08:59,712 --> 00:09:01,631 How many times you keep going to go to that well? 203 00:09:01,631 --> 00:09:04,801 Come on. I'm starting to wonder if you deserve to be called 204 00:09:04,801 --> 00:09:06,595 a community college sketch comedy troupe. 205 00:09:06,595 --> 00:09:08,138 I told you, on movie night 206 00:09:08,138 --> 00:09:10,557 I need to blow these punks out of the water. 207 00:09:10,557 --> 00:09:12,601 I need Phyllis Diller-grade stuff. 208 00:09:12,601 --> 00:09:14,894 Wouldn't you rather watch a movie with your friends 209 00:09:14,894 --> 00:09:16,313 and have a good time? 210 00:09:16,313 --> 00:09:18,315 What are you, my third wife's therapist? 211 00:09:18,315 --> 00:09:20,525 What if he said, "It's a good day for," 212 00:09:20,525 --> 00:09:22,486 And you said, "For being gay?" 213 00:09:28,825 --> 00:09:30,160 You are a genius. 214 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,329 He likes gay jokes. 215 00:09:32,329 --> 00:09:34,956 What? I said we write great jokes. 216 00:09:34,956 --> 00:09:36,333 Don't flatter yourselves. 217 00:09:40,044 --> 00:09:41,712 Whoa. 218 00:09:48,261 --> 00:09:50,721 Hey, Annie. 219 00:09:50,721 --> 00:09:53,642 It's me, Troy. 220 00:09:53,642 --> 00:09:56,645 Oh, I don't know where Abed is. I can call him if you want. 221 00:09:56,645 --> 00:09:59,523 No, I'm not looking for my other half. 222 00:10:01,399 --> 00:10:03,652 I'm looking for you, girl. 223 00:10:03,652 --> 00:10:06,904 Oh. Yeah. 224 00:10:06,904 --> 00:10:09,658 Let that sink in for a second. 225 00:10:10,741 --> 00:10:12,076 Mm? 226 00:10:14,078 --> 00:10:17,748 You know, I never noticed how beautiful you are. 227 00:10:17,748 --> 00:10:19,417 Troy, you're being weird. 228 00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:22,337 Sorry it took me so long. They made me find a shirt. 229 00:10:22,337 --> 00:10:24,214 Vaughn, you remember Troy. 230 00:10:24,214 --> 00:10:26,924 We went to high school together and he's in my study group. 231 00:10:26,924 --> 00:10:28,510 Hey, what's up, man? Hi, bro. 232 00:10:30,136 --> 00:10:32,222 I'm not your bro, bro. 233 00:10:32,222 --> 00:10:34,932 Oh, well, actually, everyone is my bro 234 00:10:34,932 --> 00:10:37,644 in the whole entire universe because everything is connected. 235 00:10:37,644 --> 00:10:40,730 Rocks, eagles, hats. 236 00:10:40,730 --> 00:10:42,732 Yeah, some things are more connected than others. 237 00:10:42,732 --> 00:10:46,027 Like tarantulas and me peeing my pants. 238 00:10:46,027 --> 00:10:47,195 Or me and Annie. 239 00:10:47,195 --> 00:10:49,030 What, wait. Troy? What? 240 00:10:49,030 --> 00:10:50,490 Tell him. 241 00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:52,283 You've been in love with me since high school. 242 00:10:52,283 --> 00:10:54,244 What? 243 00:10:54,244 --> 00:10:56,705 Is that true, Mountain Flower? No! 244 00:10:57,914 --> 00:11:01,459 I mean, I never wanna lie to you. 245 00:11:01,459 --> 00:11:03,753 So I will tell you, I did have feelings for him. 246 00:11:03,753 --> 00:11:05,505 But it's over, I swear. 247 00:11:05,505 --> 00:11:07,257 You swear? 248 00:11:07,257 --> 00:11:08,925 Like Britta swore that she didn't like Jeff. 249 00:11:08,925 --> 00:11:10,552 Then gave him a copy of my poem 250 00:11:10,552 --> 00:11:13,012 so he could laugh at me with that Sherri Shepherd lady? 251 00:11:13,012 --> 00:11:15,557 It's happening again. 252 00:11:15,557 --> 00:11:18,059 Your study group is evil. 253 00:11:18,059 --> 00:11:20,478 And you don't deserve ice cream. 254 00:11:27,151 --> 00:11:30,821 Well, he's a baby. Now, where were we? 255 00:11:30,821 --> 00:11:33,575 I like him. Why would you do that? 256 00:11:33,575 --> 00:11:37,370 Come on, everybody knows you want a cut of T-bone steak. 257 00:11:37,370 --> 00:11:39,581 Jeff and Britta told me how you feel. 258 00:11:39,581 --> 00:11:42,959 Wait. Jeff and Britta did what now? 259 00:11:42,959 --> 00:11:45,295 Oh, you're even hotter when you're angry. 260 00:11:45,295 --> 00:11:46,879 Let's do this. 261 00:11:48,214 --> 00:11:50,174 Red Shoe Diaries. 262 00:11:50,174 --> 00:11:53,010 I think you know I have a thing for butt stuff. 263 00:11:53,010 --> 00:11:57,265 To Annie's inevitable breakup with Grodie J. McConaughey. 264 00:11:57,265 --> 00:11:58,767 And to her and Troy. 265 00:11:58,767 --> 00:12:01,311 We did the right thing. They belong together. 266 00:12:01,311 --> 00:12:05,523 Plus, their babies will be so cute. 267 00:12:05,523 --> 00:12:06,899 Why would you say that? 268 00:12:06,899 --> 00:12:09,277 Come on, you know that babies are extra cute 269 00:12:09,277 --> 00:12:10,987 when the parents are… 270 00:12:12,155 --> 00:12:13,657 Both cute? 271 00:12:15,824 --> 00:12:17,201 Do you want kids? 272 00:12:17,201 --> 00:12:18,620 We'll see. 273 00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:20,371 Put on something nice and find me after lunch. 274 00:12:22,457 --> 00:12:23,832 Hey, guys. 275 00:12:23,832 --> 00:12:25,502 Thanks for getting involved in my love life. 276 00:12:25,502 --> 00:12:26,877 That was super cool and mature! 277 00:12:26,877 --> 00:12:28,338 Since you're both idiots, 278 00:12:28,338 --> 00:12:31,591 I should let you know I'm being sarcastic. 279 00:12:33,009 --> 00:12:34,885 Hey, guys. Thanks for taking ugly Annie 280 00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:36,262 out of the palm of my hand, 281 00:12:36,262 --> 00:12:38,097 and turning her into yet another hottie 282 00:12:38,097 --> 00:12:39,432 that will never get with me! 283 00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:44,979 Hey, guys, thanks for eating all the macaroni. 284 00:12:44,979 --> 00:12:47,649 Shut up, Leonard, nobody knows what you're talking about. 285 00:12:49,776 --> 00:12:53,488 I did eat all the macaroni. It's messed up that he knows. 286 00:12:55,281 --> 00:12:57,283 Let's light this candle! 287 00:12:57,283 --> 00:12:59,118 Who's ready for some Kickpunching? 288 00:12:59,118 --> 00:13:01,037 Actually, we decided to watch Runaway instead. 289 00:13:01,037 --> 00:13:02,831 Tom Selleck fights mechanical spiders. 290 00:13:02,831 --> 00:13:04,708 What? No, no, you can't do that. 291 00:13:04,708 --> 00:13:07,251 We just watched Kickpuncher. We have to see Kickpuncher 2. 292 00:13:07,251 --> 00:13:09,003 I have so many unanswered questions. 293 00:13:09,003 --> 00:13:12,674 No, I wanna watch Tom Selleck fight mechanical spiders. 294 00:13:12,674 --> 00:13:14,175 Yes! 295 00:13:14,175 --> 00:13:16,219 My brother died on the set of that movie. 296 00:13:19,180 --> 00:13:22,684 One of the mechanical spiders just went haywire 297 00:13:22,684 --> 00:13:24,018 and tore him to pieces. 298 00:13:24,018 --> 00:13:26,479 And Tom Selleck just stood there. 299 00:13:26,479 --> 00:13:29,148 He just stood there and watched him die. 300 00:13:29,148 --> 00:13:31,984 Okay, then, let's watch your Kickpuncher 2 then. 301 00:13:31,984 --> 00:13:33,944 Yeah. Okay. Sorry for your loss. 302 00:13:33,944 --> 00:13:36,072 Yeah. That's messed up, dude. 303 00:13:37,866 --> 00:13:39,116 Kickpuncher 2. 304 00:13:39,116 --> 00:13:40,618 My punches were only 305 00:13:40,618 --> 00:13:42,119 as strong as my punches. 306 00:13:42,119 --> 00:13:44,080 And then things changed. 307 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:46,999 Change? Time to change the channel. 308 00:13:46,999 --> 00:13:50,086 He's gonna be begging for change if he keeps making bad movies. 309 00:13:50,086 --> 00:13:51,755 They should change this to something good. 310 00:13:51,755 --> 00:13:55,383 This movie stinks, we better change its diaper. 311 00:13:55,383 --> 00:13:57,176 That's change we can believe in. 312 00:13:57,176 --> 00:13:59,512 Okay, something strange is happening here. 313 00:13:59,512 --> 00:14:01,930 What do you mean? I'm making jokes during a movie. 314 00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:04,141 Yeah, but you're doing it with the speed and determination 315 00:14:04,141 --> 00:14:06,728 of the incomparable Robin Williams. 316 00:14:06,728 --> 00:14:10,440 Maybe I'm just that brilliant. I think you came prepared. 317 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,901 Dude, even I know you're lame. 318 00:14:12,901 --> 00:14:15,862 And I'm a tenured professor sitting in a beanbag chair. 319 00:14:15,862 --> 00:14:18,239 You're not a professor. Shut up, man. 320 00:14:18,239 --> 00:14:21,409 Fine, you got me! 321 00:14:21,409 --> 00:14:23,160 I did a little advanced work. 322 00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,538 Pathetic? No. I'll tell you what's pathetic. 323 00:14:25,538 --> 00:14:27,957 You all sitting here making fun of other people's work. 324 00:14:27,957 --> 00:14:29,459 You don't feel good about yourselves, 325 00:14:29,459 --> 00:14:31,252 you have to tear down everything around you. 326 00:14:31,252 --> 00:14:33,212 What's the matter? Mama Chang didn't breastfeed? 327 00:14:33,212 --> 00:14:35,423 She read in a book it wouldn't make a difference. 328 00:14:35,423 --> 00:14:36,841 You all sicken me. 329 00:14:36,841 --> 00:14:38,134 And I will no longer participate 330 00:14:38,134 --> 00:14:40,010 in your destructive, negative behavior. 331 00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:43,514 Pierce, that was deep. And total BS. 332 00:14:43,514 --> 00:14:45,475 Yeah, this isn't about us. 333 00:14:45,475 --> 00:14:47,518 This is a deflection. You can't get a genuine laugh. 334 00:14:47,518 --> 00:14:50,772 That, in itself, is a laugh! I know I'm funny. 335 00:14:50,772 --> 00:14:53,274 I don't need any of you to validate me. 336 00:14:54,525 --> 00:14:57,194 Oh! Oh! 337 00:15:01,407 --> 00:15:03,827 Oh, I'm sorry. 338 00:15:03,827 --> 00:15:05,411 Biggest laugh of the night. 339 00:15:08,414 --> 00:15:11,208 Then I was gonna say, "It's a good day to be gay." 340 00:15:12,627 --> 00:15:14,629 Annie. 341 00:15:14,629 --> 00:15:17,256 We're sorry. We were worried about your well-being. 342 00:15:17,256 --> 00:15:19,717 I guess we feel like we're sort of all a family. 343 00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:23,638 And Jeff and I are like your Greendale parents. 344 00:15:23,638 --> 00:15:25,055 You're not my mom, Britta. 345 00:15:25,055 --> 00:15:26,891 She would never wear boots that go up that high. 346 00:15:26,891 --> 00:15:29,936 And what about respecting me as an adult and as a friend? 347 00:15:29,936 --> 00:15:33,481 Huh, you want to be treated as an adult and a friend? 348 00:15:33,481 --> 00:15:35,316 Try not dating your friend's ex-boyfriend. 349 00:15:35,316 --> 00:15:37,735 Find your own man. Oh, my. 350 00:15:37,735 --> 00:15:40,864 But you don't like Vaughn. No, I don't! 351 00:15:40,864 --> 00:15:43,658 But I also don't like seeing him with anyone else. Ta-da! 352 00:15:43,658 --> 00:15:45,994 I asked you if you cared and you said no. 353 00:15:45,994 --> 00:15:48,037 Fine. I cared. I'm a girly girl. 354 00:15:48,037 --> 00:15:50,122 I like boys and I don't like it when they're mean to me. 355 00:15:50,122 --> 00:15:51,791 I don't like it when they stop kissing me 356 00:15:51,791 --> 00:15:53,918 and start kissing my friends. I'm not that cool. 357 00:15:53,918 --> 00:15:56,546 I'm not Juno, okay, homeslice? 358 00:15:56,546 --> 00:15:59,632 This is what it was about? You were jealous? 359 00:15:59,632 --> 00:16:02,176 Oh, please, you can't tell me that you weren't jealous 360 00:16:02,176 --> 00:16:03,678 that Vaughn had his hippie hands 361 00:16:03,678 --> 00:16:05,930 all over your debate/make-out partner. 362 00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:08,850 What are you insinuating? I took that kiss for the team. 363 00:16:08,850 --> 00:16:10,768 What? 364 00:16:10,768 --> 00:16:13,145 Yeah. That kiss wasn't for pleasure. 365 00:16:13,145 --> 00:16:17,025 It was strategic and joyless. What? Yeah. 366 00:16:17,025 --> 00:16:18,902 You did get weirdly specific 367 00:16:18,902 --> 00:16:20,570 when you were describing Annie's body. 368 00:16:22,112 --> 00:16:24,365 More specific than the stuff you told me about Britta? 369 00:16:24,365 --> 00:16:25,867 What? 370 00:16:25,867 --> 00:16:27,660 Does anyone get specific about me? 371 00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:30,246 Check your e-mail. I'll mark you as spam. 372 00:16:30,246 --> 00:16:31,998 Who the hell is Pam? When you guys first came in, 373 00:16:31,998 --> 00:16:34,417 we were as wholesome and healthy as the family in Brady Bunch. 374 00:16:34,417 --> 00:16:36,252 And now we're as dysfunctional 375 00:16:36,252 --> 00:16:38,128 and incestuous as the cast of The Brady Bunch. 376 00:16:38,128 --> 00:16:40,048 I agree with Abed, this is getting creepy. 377 00:16:40,048 --> 00:16:42,383 No more creepy than when Jeff wears tight jeans 378 00:16:42,383 --> 00:16:44,886 and you say, "I'd like to slap those buns on the grill." 379 00:16:44,886 --> 00:16:46,930 What? I don't talk like that. 380 00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:49,348 Second of all, where I'm from, it's perfectly normal for women 381 00:16:49,348 --> 00:16:51,100 to talk about their male friends' backsides. 382 00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,685 You don't see me saying anything crazy 383 00:16:52,685 --> 00:16:54,562 about Abed and Troy's weird little relationship. 384 00:16:54,562 --> 00:16:56,188 They're just jealous. All right. 385 00:16:56,188 --> 00:16:57,440 Maybe we're not a family. 386 00:16:57,440 --> 00:16:59,400 Maybe it's more complicated. 387 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,527 Because unlike a real family, 388 00:17:01,527 --> 00:17:03,487 there's nothing to stop any one of us 389 00:17:03,487 --> 00:17:08,242 from looking at any of the others as a sexual prospect. 390 00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:39,231 Why are we even talking about this? 391 00:17:39,231 --> 00:17:42,068 Because you started having sex with Britta's ex-boyfriend. 392 00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:43,694 What? We haven't even kissed. 393 00:17:43,694 --> 00:17:45,780 That doesn't mean you're not having sex. 394 00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:48,574 Vaughn told me he'd take things as slowly as I wanted. 395 00:17:48,574 --> 00:17:51,410 He likes me for who I am and I like him. 396 00:17:54,664 --> 00:17:56,707 You guys hear that? 397 00:18:06,050 --> 00:18:08,385 Annie. Vaughn. 398 00:18:08,385 --> 00:18:10,471 Britta. Hi. 399 00:18:10,471 --> 00:18:13,057 Old man river. Eat me. 400 00:18:13,057 --> 00:18:16,144 Did you get my messages? No. 401 00:18:16,144 --> 00:18:18,228 I threw my phone into the river. 402 00:18:18,228 --> 00:18:20,106 I thought that, "You know, if I can't be with her, 403 00:18:20,106 --> 00:18:22,025 "who am I gonna call?" 404 00:18:22,025 --> 00:18:26,863 And then I thought, my landlord, and my sister, and you. 405 00:18:28,489 --> 00:18:30,366 Anyway, I've been doing a lot of soul searching, 406 00:18:30,366 --> 00:18:32,869 and this is something I really need to say. 407 00:19:23,627 --> 00:19:27,215 His songs are dumber than he is. Yeah, but they're honest. 408 00:19:30,218 --> 00:19:32,344 I'll be right here. 409 00:19:34,097 --> 00:19:36,682 Vaughn wants to show me a cloud that looks like a pumpkin. 410 00:19:37,975 --> 00:19:39,685 If that's okay. 411 00:19:41,187 --> 00:19:44,648 Annie, it's more than okay. Please date Vaughn. 412 00:19:44,648 --> 00:19:47,235 Or anyone else outside this creepy circle. 413 00:19:47,235 --> 00:19:50,529 I wouldn't hang out with you guys if you were creepy. 414 00:19:50,529 --> 00:19:53,490 Trust me, I have good taste. 415 00:19:56,535 --> 00:19:58,704 Oh, you smell like boysenberries. 416 00:20:00,664 --> 00:20:03,000 So just to be clear, I don't have a shot with any of you? 417 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,628 Ugh. Oh, my God. 418 00:20:17,598 --> 00:20:19,349 I'm dizzy. 419 00:20:22,436 --> 00:20:24,063 I am Kickpuncher. 420 00:20:24,063 --> 00:20:27,817 My cyber punches have the power of kicks. 421 00:20:35,532 --> 00:20:38,410 I am Punchkicker, meet your match. 422 00:20:53,634 --> 00:20:56,470 I love you, Kickpuncher. 423 00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:59,515 The only thing beyond the reach of my fists 424 00:20:59,515 --> 00:21:02,643 is humanity. Uh-mm. 425 00:21:02,643 --> 00:21:05,855 You sure Britta couldn't do your part? 426 00:21:05,855 --> 00:21:07,982 I asked her, she wasn't available. 427 00:21:07,982 --> 00:21:09,733 Let's go film the sex scene.