1 00:00:02,477 --> 00:00:04,729 Welcome back! 2 00:00:04,729 --> 00:00:07,357 Hi! Hello! Hi. 3 00:00:07,357 --> 00:00:08,692 What did you do over break? 4 00:00:08,692 --> 00:00:09,942 Oh, it's so awesome. 5 00:00:09,942 --> 00:00:11,277 Me and Abed played this video game. 6 00:00:11,277 --> 00:00:13,321 It is so dope. It's a whole city. 7 00:00:13,321 --> 00:00:14,781 Drive anywhere. Rent an apartment. 8 00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:17,074 You could do taxes. Don't get audited. 9 00:00:17,074 --> 00:00:19,118 You could even enroll in community college. 10 00:00:19,118 --> 00:00:20,953 Right now, it sounds as boring as real life, 11 00:00:20,953 --> 00:00:22,413 but it is not. 12 00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:24,457 Vacations are wasted on the young. 13 00:00:24,457 --> 00:00:27,084 You guys gotta get out there and see the world at some point 14 00:00:27,084 --> 00:00:29,003 or you're gonna miss your entire lives. 15 00:00:29,003 --> 00:00:31,798 Where did you go, Britta? Amsterdam, I think. 16 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:33,591 I'll know more when I find my camera. 17 00:00:33,591 --> 00:00:35,844 Guess what happened to me. 18 00:00:35,844 --> 00:00:38,513 Oh, Pierce, you became a grandfather? 19 00:00:38,513 --> 00:00:40,014 No, I became even cooler. 20 00:00:40,014 --> 00:00:42,392 These ironic T-shirts are all the rage. 21 00:00:43,810 --> 00:00:45,144 Let's get one thing straight. 22 00:00:45,144 --> 00:00:46,688 I wish I was still a lawyer, 23 00:00:46,688 --> 00:00:48,523 I'm only here because I'm hot for Britta, 24 00:00:48,523 --> 00:00:51,192 and I don't want to be anybody's friend. 25 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:53,653 Just kidding. 26 00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,655 Bring it in here, you knuckleheads. 27 00:00:58,991 --> 00:01:00,618 You know, I gotta say, 28 00:01:00,618 --> 00:01:03,621 I… I took a look back at the guy I was last semester, 29 00:01:03,621 --> 00:01:06,332 and I realized, that guy was a drag. 30 00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:08,000 No. Good to hear you admit it. 31 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,168 No, the truth is, 32 00:01:09,168 --> 00:01:11,962 this is a new semester, a new Jeff. 33 00:01:11,962 --> 00:01:13,297 Greendale is where I am 34 00:01:13,297 --> 00:01:15,258 and I am gonna make the best of it. 35 00:01:15,258 --> 00:01:17,468 Oh, that's nice. You're like Hawkeye on M*A*S*H. 36 00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:18,969 He kept his upbeat humor and charm, 37 00:01:18,969 --> 00:01:20,680 even in the 11th year of the Korean War. 38 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,599 Yeah. Well, don't go changing too much, Jeff. 39 00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:25,184 I think we all like you just the way you were. 40 00:01:25,184 --> 00:01:27,437 Well, I appreciate that, but… 41 00:01:28,479 --> 00:01:30,273 Did you just teleport here? 42 00:01:30,273 --> 00:01:34,110 No, I snuck in during the group hug. 43 00:01:34,110 --> 00:01:35,904 You guys don't remember me? 44 00:01:35,904 --> 00:01:38,364 Buddy, from Spanish class. 45 00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:40,199 Yeah, it's Buddy from Spanish class. 46 00:01:40,199 --> 00:01:42,076 I've never seen you before in my life. 47 00:01:43,912 --> 00:01:45,455 I've seen Buddy before. 48 00:01:45,455 --> 00:01:47,164 Sits in the corner, next to the dead plant. 49 00:01:47,164 --> 00:01:48,792 Thank you, Abed. 50 00:01:48,792 --> 00:01:51,127 Sometimes, I have a tendency to melt into the background. 51 00:01:51,127 --> 00:01:54,255 It's just my body type, but I definitely know you guys. 52 00:01:54,255 --> 00:01:57,425 From watching you all last semester grow together. 53 00:01:59,427 --> 00:02:01,721 F. F minus. 54 00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:05,558 Did you say S? He said F. 55 00:02:05,558 --> 00:02:07,936 Who cheated? I did it. 56 00:02:09,395 --> 00:02:11,481 Britta cheated? 57 00:02:11,481 --> 00:02:12,690 But why? 58 00:02:12,690 --> 00:02:15,192 Give me back my bra, Annie. 59 00:02:15,192 --> 00:02:18,070 I'm not even wearing a bra. 60 00:02:21,449 --> 00:02:23,576 I don't even care who wins. 61 00:02:23,576 --> 00:02:25,161 What? 62 00:02:25,161 --> 00:02:27,580 I sleep a lot in class, that one might have been a dream. 63 00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:31,167 Well, Buddy, as you know, we haven't had Spanish class yet, 64 00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:32,961 so this meeting was more just for catching up 65 00:02:32,961 --> 00:02:34,211 between friends. 66 00:02:34,211 --> 00:02:37,423 I heard that. Let's do it. 67 00:02:38,382 --> 00:02:40,301 Well, maybe… So I… 68 00:02:40,301 --> 00:02:43,387 Heh. Sorry, Britta. I'll go first. Uh… 69 00:02:43,387 --> 00:02:46,432 I'm sure you guys have a natural rapport and timing, 70 00:02:46,432 --> 00:02:49,352 and you know you're scared that adding a new member 71 00:02:49,352 --> 00:02:51,729 might throw everything off of its natural… 72 00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:02,824 Rhythm, but I feel like I know you guys already. 73 00:03:02,824 --> 00:03:04,116 So you know, let me in, 74 00:03:04,116 --> 00:03:06,619 just tell me the rules, and I will follow. 75 00:03:06,619 --> 00:03:09,163 Well, you already broke the only rule I have. 76 00:03:09,163 --> 00:03:11,039 The rule about worrying about rules. 77 00:03:11,039 --> 00:03:13,918 That's what I'm saying too. 78 00:03:13,918 --> 00:03:15,085 Yeah! 79 00:03:28,349 --> 00:03:31,644 Hey, Jeff. Hey. 80 00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:34,438 Excuse me. Um… 81 00:03:34,438 --> 00:03:37,274 I received a text message about free Sephora samples? 82 00:03:37,274 --> 00:03:39,569 Ha-ha. It was me. 83 00:03:39,569 --> 00:03:42,446 Sorry about the ruse, but I have something better 84 00:03:42,446 --> 00:03:46,116 than exfoliating soap to rub on you. 85 00:03:46,116 --> 00:03:48,703 An opportunity. Mm. 86 00:03:48,703 --> 00:03:50,705 As you can see, I am resurrecting 87 00:03:50,705 --> 00:03:53,416 the Greendale Gazette Journal Mirror. 88 00:03:53,416 --> 00:03:55,084 And we need a student editor. 89 00:03:55,084 --> 00:03:56,794 Someone with a real world savvy 90 00:03:56,794 --> 00:03:58,504 that extends beyond how to huff the ink. 91 00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:00,089 Actually, Dean, 92 00:04:00,089 --> 00:04:02,091 I'm resolved to spend this semester being more… 93 00:04:02,091 --> 00:04:04,385 This would be your office. 94 00:04:04,385 --> 00:04:08,305 Relaxed and awesome. 95 00:04:08,305 --> 00:04:10,266 This is the first desk I've seen in six months 96 00:04:10,266 --> 00:04:12,142 that doesn't have "Zeppelin Rules" carved in it. 97 00:04:12,142 --> 00:04:13,895 And you get an English credit. 98 00:04:13,895 --> 00:04:15,521 Well, that ain't bad neither. 99 00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:16,856 I'm in. Yeah. 100 00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:18,357 Guys, meet your new editor! 101 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:22,111 Mr. Winger is very excited to help you 102 00:04:22,111 --> 00:04:23,362 bring a voice back to the campus. 103 00:04:23,362 --> 00:04:24,906 Jeff, I need to take your picture. 104 00:04:25,949 --> 00:04:27,867 Good, we got it. Okay. 105 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:29,410 You guys knock yourselves out. 106 00:04:29,410 --> 00:04:31,328 Welcome aboard, Jeff. This is my article 107 00:04:31,328 --> 00:04:32,705 on the school's new water heater. 108 00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,248 You've got chops, kid. 109 00:04:34,248 --> 00:04:36,918 But we need your talent on a bigger story. 110 00:04:36,918 --> 00:04:39,545 Pizza wars. Who's got the best slice in town? 111 00:04:39,545 --> 00:04:41,965 Start with Big Nick's. Bring us a large with sausage. 112 00:04:41,965 --> 00:04:44,759 You. I heard a rumor that Riley's Liquor 113 00:04:44,759 --> 00:04:46,176 is selling to underage students. 114 00:04:46,176 --> 00:04:48,262 So I need an undercover exposé. 115 00:04:48,262 --> 00:04:49,847 Find out how much they'll sell you 116 00:04:49,847 --> 00:04:51,307 of anything cold and imported. 117 00:04:52,934 --> 00:04:55,144 You expect me to watch you do that without telling on you? 118 00:04:55,144 --> 00:04:56,938 That's a hard-hitting question, Annie. 119 00:04:56,938 --> 00:04:58,397 Are you a reporter? 120 00:04:58,397 --> 00:05:00,316 No. They've got me editing the crossword 121 00:05:00,316 --> 00:05:01,567 because I'm a girl. 122 00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:02,944 And because I love crosswords. 123 00:05:02,944 --> 00:05:04,862 Well, now you love the streets. 124 00:05:04,862 --> 00:05:06,280 You're my ace newshound. 125 00:05:06,280 --> 00:05:07,657 Ace? You can do that? 126 00:05:07,657 --> 00:05:09,117 We can do anything we want. 127 00:05:09,117 --> 00:05:10,367 It's Greendale. 128 00:05:10,367 --> 00:05:13,037 Now, go find me that story. 129 00:05:13,037 --> 00:05:15,539 This character reboot is really gelling for you, Jeff. 130 00:05:15,539 --> 00:05:16,958 That was all classic Hawkeye. 131 00:05:16,958 --> 00:05:18,417 Sending soldiers out for liquor. 132 00:05:18,417 --> 00:05:20,294 Slyly sidestepping the problematic scrutiny 133 00:05:20,294 --> 00:05:22,880 of Annie "Hot Lips" Edison. Mm? 134 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:25,133 I should build you a still for making Hawkeye martinis. 135 00:05:25,133 --> 00:05:27,468 Of all your pop cultural fixations, 136 00:05:27,468 --> 00:05:29,386 this is one I can work with, Abed. 137 00:05:29,386 --> 00:05:32,348 Call me Radar? When you've earned it. 138 00:05:32,348 --> 00:05:35,726 Now, I know the news of Señor Chang's death 139 00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:38,186 over winter break was a shock to us all. 140 00:05:38,186 --> 00:05:41,107 But we should take comfort in the fact 141 00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:43,693 that he did not suffer when his moped hit 142 00:05:43,693 --> 00:05:45,028 the side of that Arby's. 143 00:05:45,028 --> 00:05:47,237 So sad. 144 00:05:47,237 --> 00:05:48,781 But best semester ever. 145 00:05:55,163 --> 00:05:58,624 Beat it. All right. 146 00:05:58,624 --> 00:06:00,126 That was a professional actress. 147 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:04,421 I am a man who can never die, 148 00:06:04,421 --> 00:06:06,174 and this has been your first taste 149 00:06:06,174 --> 00:06:07,675 of Spanish 1-0- dos, 150 00:06:07,675 --> 00:06:12,555 the semester I get inside your cabezas. 151 00:06:32,116 --> 00:06:33,993 Saw that coming. 152 00:06:33,993 --> 00:06:36,620 Hey, guys. See you in study group. 153 00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:38,915 Hoo-aah! 154 00:06:40,208 --> 00:06:42,085 Uh, Jeff, 155 00:06:42,085 --> 00:06:44,170 can he really just decide he's one of us? 156 00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:45,922 He throws off our balance. 157 00:06:45,922 --> 00:06:47,840 We've got three chicks, three dudes, 158 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:50,009 and now two weirdoes. 159 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:51,635 Sorry, Abed. Not all weirdoes are bad. 160 00:06:51,635 --> 00:06:53,345 Buddy might be a puckish agent of change 161 00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:55,681 that changes our lives for the better through musical montage. 162 00:06:55,681 --> 00:06:57,225 Or he could have a row of jars 163 00:06:57,225 --> 00:07:00,103 waiting for our genitals. Yo, I need my genitals. 164 00:07:00,103 --> 00:07:02,105 You know who you guys sound like? 165 00:07:02,105 --> 00:07:03,898 Me, from last semester. 166 00:07:03,898 --> 00:07:06,067 Cynical. Elitist. Oh. 167 00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:07,985 Rakishly good-looking. Thank you. 168 00:07:07,985 --> 00:07:09,695 Well, we should at least get together to talk 169 00:07:09,695 --> 00:07:11,447 about membership policies, right? 170 00:07:11,447 --> 00:07:12,949 Hey, don't ask me. 171 00:07:12,949 --> 00:07:15,243 Dealing with problems ain't my job no more. 172 00:07:15,243 --> 00:07:19,455 My new job is hanging out, having fun and cracking wise. 173 00:07:19,455 --> 00:07:22,125 Oh, must be nice. Suppose, I decide that's my job? 174 00:07:29,632 --> 00:07:31,008 Jeff. 175 00:07:31,008 --> 00:07:32,635 I hope you've got an army of raisins, 176 00:07:32,635 --> 00:07:35,054 because I've got a major scoop. 177 00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:37,974 In October, there was a free Toni Braxton concert 178 00:07:37,974 --> 00:07:39,683 on the quad… You don't need to remind me. 179 00:07:39,683 --> 00:07:42,019 When a last-minute mix-up shifted the showtime by an hour, 180 00:07:42,019 --> 00:07:43,437 an anonymous text message 181 00:07:43,437 --> 00:07:45,022 went out alerting students of the change. 182 00:07:45,022 --> 00:07:47,233 Okay. Not okay. 183 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,567 Because the text message 184 00:07:48,567 --> 00:07:50,778 was sent exclusively to black students. 185 00:07:50,778 --> 00:07:53,197 And one French kid named Lebron. 186 00:07:53,197 --> 00:07:54,657 That's profiling. 187 00:07:54,657 --> 00:07:56,075 This is front page juice. 188 00:07:56,075 --> 00:07:57,409 I gotta find out who sent the text. 189 00:07:57,409 --> 00:07:59,036 Have you called the number that sent it? 190 00:07:59,036 --> 00:08:03,166 Well, nobody's that stupid, right? 191 00:08:07,753 --> 00:08:09,255 Hello? 192 00:08:11,507 --> 00:08:13,550 Um… 193 00:08:13,550 --> 00:08:15,469 Wrong number. 194 00:08:18,388 --> 00:08:20,808 No, no. That was a good cover. 195 00:08:20,808 --> 00:08:23,477 So whoever it is keeps hanging up, 196 00:08:23,477 --> 00:08:25,437 but he can't hide forever. 197 00:08:25,437 --> 00:08:29,441 Annie the reporter. Good times. 198 00:08:29,441 --> 00:08:34,530 Listen up, I just want to say, thank you guys real much… 199 00:08:34,530 --> 00:08:36,073 Real much? Duh. 200 00:08:36,073 --> 00:08:39,076 Thank you guys very much for this. 201 00:08:39,076 --> 00:08:40,953 It's a dream come true. 202 00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:42,454 Aww. Oh. 203 00:08:42,454 --> 00:08:44,456 Now, let's study some Spanish. 204 00:08:44,456 --> 00:08:47,626 So for the essay, we conjugate… 205 00:08:47,626 --> 00:08:50,838 Conjugate? Conjugal. Visit. 206 00:08:52,715 --> 00:08:56,052 Lame. Okay, stick and move, stick and move. 207 00:08:57,261 --> 00:09:00,223 Okay, so for the essay portion… 208 00:09:07,479 --> 00:09:09,815 Hey, Buddy can sing, you guys. 209 00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:11,483 Well, that's great. 210 00:09:11,483 --> 00:09:13,485 Annie's pretty young, we try not to sexualize her. 211 00:09:14,904 --> 00:09:17,781 I'm sorry. Whoa! 212 00:09:17,781 --> 00:09:19,658 Okay, look, I did… You know what? 213 00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:20,951 It's your study group, 214 00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,245 and I don't know if you perceive it 215 00:09:22,245 --> 00:09:23,787 as something that could be improved 216 00:09:23,787 --> 00:09:25,039 but I do have some ideas. 217 00:09:25,039 --> 00:09:26,540 Here's one right here. Boom. 218 00:09:26,540 --> 00:09:27,875 I was thinking, as a group, 219 00:09:27,875 --> 00:09:29,710 we could start saying, "You go, girl." 220 00:09:29,710 --> 00:09:31,795 Not in a way that's, you know, 221 00:09:31,795 --> 00:09:33,422 oh, I'm so cool saying, "You go, girl." 222 00:09:33,422 --> 00:09:35,174 But in a way that we're kind of winking at it. 223 00:09:35,174 --> 00:09:36,592 Bottom line, 224 00:09:36,592 --> 00:09:39,387 you guys need a chubby, agile guy. 225 00:09:39,387 --> 00:09:41,764 Did anyone see Paul Blart: Marl Car… 226 00:09:41,764 --> 00:09:43,307 Paul Blart: Mall Cop. 227 00:09:43,307 --> 00:09:45,475 I'm like that, okay? 228 00:09:45,475 --> 00:09:49,230 I'm fat and I'm physical, okay? 229 00:09:49,230 --> 00:09:51,190 And I'm strong, hmm, and I can kick. 230 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,900 Ow! 231 00:09:52,900 --> 00:09:55,069 Dude, sorry. 232 00:09:55,069 --> 00:09:57,529 Jeff, Jeff? No, no, it's fine. 233 00:09:57,529 --> 00:10:00,449 Just a little nosebleed, I get them when it's dry, 234 00:10:00,449 --> 00:10:02,076 or when my face gets kicked. 235 00:10:02,076 --> 00:10:04,995 I'll get some paper towels. Goodness. 236 00:10:07,248 --> 00:10:09,041 Did someone say something about a meeting 237 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,709 to discuss member policy? 238 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,715 Well, I think, it's obvious to everyone, 239 00:10:16,715 --> 00:10:18,759 that this Buddy fellow has a few Fruit Loops loose 240 00:10:18,759 --> 00:10:20,136 so I think, no matter what we do, 241 00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:22,596 we gotta do it with grace and caution. 242 00:10:22,596 --> 00:10:24,514 I say, we keep Buddy in the group. What? 243 00:10:24,514 --> 00:10:25,975 I've given it a lot of thought 244 00:10:25,975 --> 00:10:28,894 and, frankly, I like his in-your-face style. 245 00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:30,938 I can't stop thinking about his high kick. 246 00:10:30,938 --> 00:10:32,940 His ratio of girth to hip flexibility 247 00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:34,524 is mesmerizing. 248 00:10:34,524 --> 00:10:36,610 I like his idea of ironically saying, "You go, girl." 249 00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:38,321 You go, girl. You go, girl. 250 00:10:38,321 --> 00:10:40,530 Wait, so you kick high enough and you get in the group? 251 00:10:40,530 --> 00:10:41,865 If we're gonna add people, 252 00:10:41,865 --> 00:10:43,533 I think we should consider my friend Gary. 253 00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:44,743 I'm sorry, Shirley, 254 00:10:44,743 --> 00:10:46,787 you friend Gary is so boring. 255 00:10:46,787 --> 00:10:49,957 He was raised in Finland, he doesn't get our humor. 256 00:10:49,957 --> 00:10:51,375 So if we're gonna add a chair 257 00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:53,877 for every bong-ripping, good-time charlie, 258 00:10:53,877 --> 00:10:56,713 with a song in his heart, I move we institute hazing. 259 00:10:56,713 --> 00:10:58,757 Well, in The Right Stuff, the novel by Tom Wolfe… 260 00:10:58,757 --> 00:11:00,259 This is why we need new blood. 261 00:11:00,259 --> 00:11:02,178 I'm so bored of your pop culture references, 262 00:11:02,178 --> 00:11:03,512 and your cigarette-legged jeans. 263 00:11:03,512 --> 00:11:06,265 Gary wears loose-fitting jeans. 264 00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:08,558 Gary is off the table. He is a buzzkill. 265 00:11:08,558 --> 00:11:10,602 He grew up in a land without sun. 266 00:11:14,815 --> 00:11:16,942 Take a vote. They'd probably vote him in. 267 00:11:16,942 --> 00:11:19,069 They won't. 268 00:11:19,069 --> 00:11:21,197 Guys. Guys, let's take a vote. 269 00:11:21,197 --> 00:11:23,491 Secret vote, everybody cover your eyes. 270 00:11:25,284 --> 00:11:27,495 We won't know the result. Say your vote out loud. 271 00:11:27,495 --> 00:11:29,079 We'll know each other's voices. 272 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:30,456 Troy's got a point. 273 00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:31,915 Holy crap. Wow. 274 00:11:31,915 --> 00:11:33,583 It says here, some guy in Seattle 275 00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:35,543 went nuts and killed his entire driver's ed class 276 00:11:35,543 --> 00:11:37,463 with a meat tenderizer. Oh, no. 277 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:40,007 We have to be careful. 278 00:11:41,884 --> 00:11:43,593 Okay. 279 00:11:43,593 --> 00:11:45,179 On the count of three, 280 00:11:45,179 --> 00:11:47,056 everybody who wants to keep Buddy out, 281 00:11:47,056 --> 00:11:48,640 raise your hand. 282 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:57,858 You lied about the guy in Seattle 283 00:11:57,858 --> 00:11:59,443 with the meat tenderizer. 284 00:12:01,904 --> 00:12:03,239 You put your thumb on the scale. 285 00:12:03,239 --> 00:12:04,532 You did it with a smile 286 00:12:04,532 --> 00:12:06,700 and you did it so you could keep smiling. 287 00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:08,160 You're Hawkeye. 288 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,453 And with Buddy gone, 289 00:12:09,453 --> 00:12:11,705 staying that way will be a lot easier. 290 00:12:11,705 --> 00:12:13,707 I am not racist. 291 00:12:13,707 --> 00:12:15,167 I had 20 minutes 292 00:12:15,167 --> 00:12:17,336 to let people know Toni Braxton was starting early 293 00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:21,257 and 273 text messages left before my rate tripled. 294 00:12:21,257 --> 00:12:23,092 Racial profiling may not be right, 295 00:12:23,092 --> 00:12:24,427 but it can be economical. 296 00:12:24,427 --> 00:12:26,053 Tell me, dean, when I refer to you 297 00:12:26,053 --> 00:12:28,264 in my article, would you prefer imbecile or incompetent? 298 00:12:28,264 --> 00:12:30,558 I'd prefer incompetent, but what I really want… 299 00:12:30,558 --> 00:12:32,101 It doesn't matter what you want. 300 00:12:32,101 --> 00:12:34,311 The people want the truth, I have to give it to them, 301 00:12:34,311 --> 00:12:36,855 and I won't let anyone stand in my way. 302 00:12:39,275 --> 00:12:40,776 Excuse me. 303 00:12:40,776 --> 00:12:42,694 Thank you. Jeffrey. 304 00:12:42,694 --> 00:12:45,114 I'm the least racist person in the world. 305 00:12:45,114 --> 00:12:46,782 My best friend, when I was 6 years old, 306 00:12:46,782 --> 00:12:48,658 was a black man. Okay, look. 307 00:12:48,658 --> 00:12:50,911 I've learned my lesson. I've got unlimited texting now. 308 00:12:50,911 --> 00:12:52,413 But if she runs that story, 309 00:12:52,413 --> 00:12:56,208 I will lose this job, and this job is my life. 310 00:12:56,208 --> 00:12:58,294 She listens to you. 311 00:12:58,294 --> 00:13:00,421 Well, next time 312 00:13:00,421 --> 00:13:02,381 we're both hanging out, having fun, 313 00:13:02,381 --> 00:13:05,968 I could try cracking wise about it with her. 314 00:13:05,968 --> 00:13:07,511 You do what you think is right. 315 00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:19,898 That's enough. Okay. 316 00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:22,192 I'm just saying, it's not exactly Watergate. 317 00:13:22,192 --> 00:13:23,777 I mean, you like the dean, 318 00:13:23,777 --> 00:13:25,488 he's trying to help you transfer. 319 00:13:25,488 --> 00:13:27,323 Yeah, and this time, he might succeed. 320 00:13:27,323 --> 00:13:28,782 If this article breaks out, 321 00:13:28,782 --> 00:13:30,493 I can apply for journalism scholarships. 322 00:13:30,493 --> 00:13:32,119 Nobody will care about my time in rehab 323 00:13:32,119 --> 00:13:33,745 if they think I'm a writer. 324 00:13:33,745 --> 00:13:37,207 Annie, as your upbeat friend, I gotta say, let this go. 325 00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:40,503 This is Greendale, Jeff, we can do whatever we want. 326 00:13:51,514 --> 00:13:54,475 Didn't anyone tell Buddy he was out? 327 00:13:54,475 --> 00:13:56,018 I guess we thought you would. 328 00:13:59,062 --> 00:14:02,065 My lord, my lady, you missed my apology song. 329 00:14:02,065 --> 00:14:04,485 Yeah, I'll… I'll tell them about it later. 330 00:14:04,485 --> 00:14:09,365 Jeff, I am so sorry about the other day. 331 00:14:09,365 --> 00:14:11,908 Buddy, 332 00:14:11,908 --> 00:14:14,203 yesterday, the group took a vote. 333 00:14:16,913 --> 00:14:20,167 And you seem to have figured out the rest of it. 334 00:14:24,505 --> 00:14:26,215 Was it the high kick? 335 00:14:26,215 --> 00:14:27,591 Was it, "You go, girl?" 336 00:14:27,591 --> 00:14:29,468 Oh, you guys think you're so cool. 337 00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:31,011 No, we don't think we're cool at all. 338 00:14:31,011 --> 00:14:32,555 Just a bit. 339 00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:35,098 I put myself out there for you! 340 00:14:35,098 --> 00:14:37,100 I laid my soul bare. 341 00:14:38,602 --> 00:14:41,771 I made you guys lemon squares with free-range eggs 342 00:14:41,771 --> 00:14:43,357 that I baked with my own hands. 343 00:14:43,357 --> 00:14:45,359 Maybe a little less sugar next time. 344 00:14:45,359 --> 00:14:47,570 Well, I'm not leaving. 345 00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:49,821 Oh, come on. 346 00:14:49,821 --> 00:14:51,948 Be relaxed, like me. 347 00:14:51,948 --> 00:14:53,909 Leave. You're not relaxed. 348 00:14:53,909 --> 00:14:55,536 You're an uptight puppet master. 349 00:14:55,536 --> 00:14:56,995 And these are your little puppets. 350 00:15:01,750 --> 00:15:05,170 Buddy, just be reasonable and go. 351 00:15:05,170 --> 00:15:06,838 Make me, Hitler. 352 00:15:06,838 --> 00:15:09,258 Okay, so, uh, 353 00:15:09,258 --> 00:15:10,676 since Buddy's not leaving, 354 00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,177 he'll just be the person 355 00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:14,888 who we wish wasn't here while we study. 356 00:15:14,888 --> 00:15:17,057 Try getting that deal from Hitler. 357 00:15:17,057 --> 00:15:18,767 Shall we? 358 00:15:20,102 --> 00:15:22,812 I'm studying with you. No, you're not. 359 00:15:25,190 --> 00:15:27,984 Everyone stop studying. Okay. 360 00:15:27,984 --> 00:15:30,779 You're not in the group. 361 00:15:30,779 --> 00:15:33,031 Okay, then go study somewhere else. 362 00:15:52,301 --> 00:15:54,177 No, no, no. 363 00:15:54,177 --> 00:15:55,763 No, no, no. 364 00:15:55,763 --> 00:15:57,180 Oh, no. 365 00:15:57,180 --> 00:16:00,392 No! I wanna study with you guys. No! 366 00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:04,396 No! 367 00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:11,027 No! 368 00:16:11,027 --> 00:16:12,404 I hate you! 369 00:16:12,404 --> 00:16:16,074 I hate your study group! I hate it! 370 00:16:16,074 --> 00:16:18,535 You suck! 371 00:16:19,662 --> 00:16:21,371 I hate you! 372 00:16:24,833 --> 00:16:26,585 And you are not running that story. 373 00:16:26,585 --> 00:16:28,671 Why not? Because I said so. 374 00:16:30,297 --> 00:16:31,674 Does anybody have a problem 375 00:16:31,674 --> 00:16:33,425 with how that was handled? 376 00:16:33,425 --> 00:16:35,010 Exactly the way I would've done it. 377 00:16:35,010 --> 00:16:37,596 You suck! 378 00:16:42,851 --> 00:16:45,020 Who are you kidding, Abed? 379 00:16:45,020 --> 00:16:47,481 I just dragged a screaming, crying man 380 00:16:47,481 --> 00:16:50,066 out of a library with his pants down. 381 00:16:51,151 --> 00:16:53,403 No. Martinis are for Hawkeyes. 382 00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:57,700 I'm the same uptight jerk I was last semester. 383 00:17:00,994 --> 00:17:03,288 Jeff, what's your favorite episode of M*A*S*H? 384 00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:06,375 The one with, uh, the Army. 385 00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:07,917 That's what I thought. 386 00:17:07,917 --> 00:17:09,961 If you had actually seen the show you'd know 387 00:17:09,961 --> 00:17:12,172 that Hawkeye didn't just bed nurses and drink martinis. 388 00:17:12,172 --> 00:17:13,716 He also had blood sprayed on his face 389 00:17:13,716 --> 00:17:15,509 and barked orders when the choppers came in. 390 00:17:15,509 --> 00:17:18,094 If he didn't, people died. 391 00:17:18,094 --> 00:17:20,430 He was a leader, Jeff. That's your job. 392 00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:22,891 Yeah? What's in it for me? 393 00:17:22,891 --> 00:17:25,686 Hey. Annie. 394 00:17:25,686 --> 00:17:27,563 I… I'm sorry that I yelled. 395 00:17:27,563 --> 00:17:29,565 I'm glad you did. 396 00:17:29,565 --> 00:17:31,525 It didn't even really occur to me what I was doing 397 00:17:31,525 --> 00:17:35,111 until I saw how upset you were. 398 00:17:35,111 --> 00:17:36,780 I never want to be the reason you're mad, 399 00:17:36,780 --> 00:17:39,991 because you're Jeff Winger. 400 00:17:39,991 --> 00:17:44,872 So thanks 401 00:17:44,872 --> 00:17:46,623 for getting mad. 402 00:17:47,999 --> 00:17:49,292 It was nothing. 403 00:17:52,212 --> 00:17:55,048 I guess that's the upside, isn't it? 404 00:18:01,430 --> 00:18:04,641 Thank you, Radar. 405 00:18:04,641 --> 00:18:06,852 Ooh. You made me so happy I just peed a little. 406 00:18:09,438 --> 00:18:11,147 I don't think violence is the answer 407 00:18:11,147 --> 00:18:12,357 when we make decisions. 408 00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:16,319 Hi, guys. Hi, Buddy. 409 00:18:16,319 --> 00:18:17,696 Can you, um…? 410 00:18:17,696 --> 00:18:19,364 Excuse us? 411 00:18:19,364 --> 00:18:22,743 For one crazy stalker? 412 00:18:27,456 --> 00:18:28,916 Listen up, 413 00:18:28,916 --> 00:18:31,167 we outnumber this guy, six to one. 414 00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:34,379 Annie, you flash your breasts as a decoy for the bum-rush. 415 00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:36,047 Pierce? Britta, don't be upset. 416 00:18:36,047 --> 00:18:37,173 I didn't pick you as a decoy 417 00:18:37,173 --> 00:18:38,592 because your breasts are so old. 418 00:18:38,592 --> 00:18:40,510 Why is he even here? Hello. 419 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:42,429 I invited him. 420 00:18:45,223 --> 00:18:48,435 Buddy's crime is thinking we're cool. 421 00:18:48,435 --> 00:18:49,937 But I get it. 422 00:18:49,937 --> 00:18:53,565 If I were him, and I missed out on you guys, 423 00:18:53,565 --> 00:18:56,485 I'd be sitting in that classroom, 424 00:18:56,485 --> 00:18:59,362 watching, wondering. 425 00:18:59,362 --> 00:19:01,490 So how can I exclude someone 426 00:19:01,490 --> 00:19:04,033 from something that I'm so lucky to have. 427 00:19:04,033 --> 00:19:05,494 Oh. 428 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:08,705 I say we let him in. 429 00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:12,835 Hey, Buddy. 430 00:19:12,835 --> 00:19:15,378 Welcome to the group. 431 00:19:15,378 --> 00:19:18,715 Oh, yes! 432 00:19:18,715 --> 00:19:20,342 You will not regret this. 433 00:19:23,971 --> 00:19:26,097 There he is. 434 00:19:26,097 --> 00:19:28,350 Hey, Buddy. Hmm? 435 00:19:28,350 --> 00:19:30,226 the group thought about what you said. 436 00:19:30,226 --> 00:19:32,729 We took a vote. And you're in. 437 00:19:32,729 --> 00:19:36,566 Oh! No way. I'm in the cool group? 438 00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:40,195 It's like Christmas morning for the guy. 439 00:19:40,195 --> 00:19:42,280 Welcome. 440 00:19:43,406 --> 00:19:45,200 This is… 441 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,369 Oh, this is awkward. 442 00:19:47,369 --> 00:19:49,705 You guys were my safety. Pfft. 443 00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:51,790 Hey, hey, Buddy, you don't have to worry about them. 444 00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,375 You're with us now. Come on. 445 00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:55,711 Ha-ha! Boo! 446 00:19:55,711 --> 00:19:58,005 Go! I love the kick! 447 00:19:58,005 --> 00:20:00,007 It's amazing. The kicks are the best. 448 00:20:07,222 --> 00:20:11,018 And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I voted to keep him. 449 00:20:11,018 --> 00:20:12,853 It would have been nice to have another person 450 00:20:12,853 --> 00:20:15,022 in the group. I'll call Gary. 451 00:20:22,738 --> 00:20:26,157 So it says here you want to join as a twosome? 452 00:20:26,157 --> 00:20:27,701 I don't see that as a selling point. 453 00:20:27,701 --> 00:20:29,036 We work really well together. 454 00:20:29,036 --> 00:20:31,038 Let me hear that rap thing of yours again. 455 00:20:36,167 --> 00:20:38,169 I'm gonna talk it over with the others. 456 00:20:38,169 --> 00:20:40,005 Cool. Thanks for your time. 457 00:20:40,005 --> 00:20:42,883 You traitors! I am appalled at your lack of loyalty. 458 00:20:46,094 --> 00:20:48,013 Yeah, you better run. 459 00:20:49,514 --> 00:20:51,641 Have you decided? We saw your tape. 460 00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:53,643 We're passing. I don't pop on video. 461 00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:54,895 Let me do the song in person.